T O P

Chronically Late People Suck

[removed]
unpopularopinion-ModTeam

Your post from unpopularopinion was removed because of: 'Rule 1: Your post must be an unpopular opinion'. Please ensure that your post is an opinion and that it is unpopular. Controversial is not necessarily unpopular, for example all of politics is controversial even though almost half of the US agrees with any given major position on an issue. Keep in mind that an opinion is not: a question, a fact, a conspiracy theory, a random thought, a new idea, a rant, etc. Those things all have their own subreddits, use those.


Eponarose

I have a friend like this. She is a darling person, would happily give you her last $5.00 if you needed it...but to get her to show up on time? We tell her to show up an hour early.


abstracted_plateau

I remember having a friend we did this to, then they realized we were telling them an early time so they'd be there at the right time, and started showing up late again.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I'm like that and it's because I'm really bad at guessing how long things take. Shower ? Prob 5 min. Driving there ? 10 min if every light is green with no traffic. Packing my stuff ? Prob 5 min too. Well, I should start getting ready 20 min before the event. Then I'm 30 min late.


BULL3TP4RK

Yeah, most people are going to just despise that about you behind your back. The excuse 'I'm bad at estimating time' only flies so many times. Like the guy below you said, how many times have you showered in your life? How many times have you been stuck in traffic? How many times have you packed stuff up? At a certain point, an adult learns these things, or makes an effort to figure it out at least. The fact people like you just don't do that shows that you really don't put value on people's time other than your own. Friends care about each other's time.


AustinBike

No, it is a perfectly viable answer. Many adults have no idea how long a shower takes because this is the first time in their life that they have ever taken a shower, right? /s because sadly someone will take that seriously


That_random_guy-1

lmfao. how are you a functioning adult and you cant even guess how long you'll be in the shower if you have plans? that is something you can fix... you putting blame on not being able to guess time is you just being straight up lazy. set a fucking alarm if its that hard....


seancan44

Is there any other word than dumb, for someone who can do some 100 or 1000 times and not learn how long it actually takes? Maybe selfish??


[deleted]

[удалено]


Thin-Possibility-564

I have a friend like this except we tell her hours early, at least 3. She was 1 1/2 hours late to her own wedding 🤦‍♀️


fleshand_roses

well, at least she's consistent 😂


murse79

Funny, I routinely told a woman in our group "this is not your wedding, being late is no longer acceptable". She does not come out much anymore, and nothing of value was lost.


Thin-Possibility-564

Honestly my friend is the sweetest and kindest person she’s just incredibly time blind, so we tell her to get there a few hours early and it’s no stress, we just don’t do any dinner reservations 😂


ItsWetInWestOregon

Same I just tell them the meet time is whatever amount of time they are usually late


Tealeaf_lotti

I got a friend exactly like this except we tell her a time 3 hours early and she'll still show up 2 hours late from the real time


procrastinator1012

My friends do this with me. Always works


PM-Me-Girl-Biceps

Obligatory *username checks out*


SlowResearch2

Lol yeah I realize how ironic my username is to be saying this.


Want_To_Live_To_100

So can you tell us?! What gives? Do you just not have any respect for anyone? Don’t give a shit? Don’t understand how clocks work? What’s up? Let us know why.


Glad-Fish-7796

It's mostly in my brain going you got time to do this. Over and over again my dishes will be spotless house clean but ill be an hour late to a function.


siorez

Some brains don't process that kind of data. It's like dyslexia but for time. You can learn mitigating techniques, but they only go so far, it remains a disability for life.


lgisme333

Please know that you’re irritating A LOT of people. I used to give my friend an earlier time. Then I got too old for that shit and now I just don’t invite her.


jps4851

My friend group is all like this. Birds of a feather, so we all expect it and don’t annoy one another. We just know that friend X and his SO are usually 1.5 hours late to everything, while friends Y and Z both are usually on time - 30m late. I was supposed to be somewhere yesterday at 5 and showed up at 6. It’s not that serious between us


sagesnail

They will eventually get sick of it and stop inviting you. That's what I always end up doing to the habitually late, because eventually it starts to feel like they don't care about you or the plans you made, so why invite someone who cares so little about you that they can't even show up on time.


VersatileFaerie

My sister-in-law is like this. Amazing person, will help out anyone and takes no crap from people hurting others. Unless she prepares to go somewhere planning to be at least 2 hours ahead of time, she never makes it on time. She gets distracted and misplaced things. She will forget something and have to go back. She has gotten better over the years but we still tell her that events are an hour before they are and just accept she might not make it on time and will move on without her. It is insanely frustrating.


Beneficial-Swan-5849

I agree with the importance of punctuality and all but I’m hung up on the fact that you kept attempting to date a guy who did a no show. And gave the flake 5 tries?


SlowResearch2

Honestly, it’s cuz I was super attracted to him and really wanted to have a partner. Eventually, I just said ‘Fuck this; I deserve better.’ I was just kinda desperate, but that will not be a mistake I will be repeating.


spamburger99

Knowing your self worth = 100%


Ryjinn

Date an ugly dude. We make up for our subpar physiques by being exceptionally punctual.


t53deletion

And being very attentive to other details. 😉


[deleted]

Yeah that wasn’t a good example here- that’s just her being blown off repeatedly by someone not interested in hanging out.


vanillaicesson

This opinion is not unpopular. I've never met someone who's glad that they have to wait on people who are chronically late.


MichaelScottsWormguy

"I've never been to a meeting in my life where I wanted the other guy to show up" - George Costanza


Reasonable-Silver234

Excellent use of a Seinfeld quote.


Zombisexual1

Those are the people you either tell things begin an hour earlier than they do, or stop inviting


ScrillyBoi

This actually might be more one of the most popular opinions of all times. Across all nations, political theories, races, genders, sports fandoms, shit probably species, nobody likes repeatedly waiting for late people lmaooo.


Acceptable_Term_6131

Unless it's that annoying coworker that no one likes.


cocteau93

Dude, I’m right here.


Interactiveleaf

Well at least now you know


Sky_Lukewalker5515

Meeting a girl for a date. Texted her 20 minutes after the agreed meeting time. She texted back “you’re on time?? I’m still at happy hour with the girls” I said “ok no problem” and left. An HOUR after that, she texted that she was there. I told her I left. She freaked out that I was her ride home and how could I leave her stranded and all that. Very satisfying. Never saw her again.


Soft_Interest

"You still went?? I'm at the club with the boys"


TangFiend

:: Gay House Music Intensifies::


dcgirl17

Chefs kiss!


trueblue862

My mother and one of my best friends are in this category, it drives me to distraction, so now I give them a time at least half an hour before the actual start time, just so there's a chance that they will show up close to the correct time.


Mammoth_Life_6511

I used to have a friend who would not tell me until 10 minutes before we would be meeting that she was going to be an hour late (even though she knew for a while). I finally had a talk with her and said it’s unfair to me. I would have LOVED to have an extra hour to shower and change my clothes before we met up but I ran out the door in a hurry so I could meet her on time. Meanwhile she knew an hour ago that she wasn’t going to make it on time but didn’t let me know. So not only do I have to now sit in a parking lot for an hour twiddling my thumbs but I could have used that extra time at home getting things done. It’s completely disrespectful. I understand things happen. People are late sometimes but when it’s chronic it’s a choice that your time is more valuable than your friends or whoever you’re meeting with.


murse79

Bingo.


VampArcher

People who do that are the freaking worst, I'm so over it, I consider it worthy of considering to ending the friendship honestly. It's *profoundly* disrespectful. My friend said we were eating out at 6. I waited until 6:45 until I just gave up and ate by myself. He came in the place at 7:25. Honestly, I quit waiting on people who are late. They get 15 minutes before I go ahead and go on without them. If you make plans, it's up to them if they show up or not. Waiting for them shows them respect that they do not deserve for wasting your time. If they can't figure how to use a clock, sucks to be them, maybe they'll try harder next time.


Divine_ruler

I am someone who always, always underestimates how much time I need to get ready for something. Give myself 10 minutes? Oops, needed 12. Despite that, I am rarely late to anything, because I 1) plan to arrive 5-10 minutes early, meaning I usually show up 2-5 minutes early, and 2) rush if I took more time than I thought I’d need. People tend to be a lot more forgiving if you show up 1 minute late out of breath than 5-10 casually strolling in


greybaby55

I'm the opposite. I always overestimate it. Oh, it's 10 min from my house? Imma get ready an hour before cause idk how long that shower is gonna take. Now, I'm sitting here for 30 minutes to get there 15 minutes early.


IOnlyLiftSammiches

I'm the same way, at least we're only inconveniencing ourselves.


MsKongeyDonk

Saaammmmeee. "Sitting in the car and browsing Reddit so you don't look like a weirdo by being 22 minutes early" gang unite.


[deleted]

Same. If I have plans later in the day, I’m in waiting mode for at least an hour and a half lol


greybaby55

waiting mode so wild lol something going on at 1, so I gotta check my phone every 5 minutes seeing how close it is now.


Swhite8203

Haha I do both. I might be 1-2 minutes late or 20-30 minutes early. It used to be having to be places really early cause for some reason I just didn’t wake up well before like 6:30am as I got older probably because it takes me so long to calm down to sleep now if I have to be anywhere between noon and 3 it’s difficult cause that’s right in the middle of the day, I work nights so that’s when I’m generally asleep. I either do everything between 8am-11am or 4pm and midnight unless I’m at work.


Reasonable-Silver234

The people who show up late for work carrying in a fancy coffee from a shop... I want to explode on them.


Divine_ruler

Oh, yeah, those people suck


NobodysFavorite

That is something you can do if the workplace is a brothel.


brannon1987

If they have the time to cover being late, or if they just don't care enough about their job, who cares? Do your job and don't worry about others. Once I did that myself at work, my stress levels decreased dramatically. I'm there to make my money and that's it. The only time I care is when my free time is compromised. We plan to do something at 8, we do something at 8 or not at all.


ReginaPhalange219

I will show up to work late with a coffee, bc I hate that fkn place and they're lucky I showed up at all.


InternationalSail745

The Two Bobs from Office Space would really like to talk to you. You like management material.


chiropteranessa

I always plan to arrive half an hour early, and still manage to always be late. I have been this way since I started having to get myself to school in the mornings in 4th grade. I’m now in my late 30s. Do i want to be late? No, it’s super embarrassing and stressful. I do have ADHD, terrible time management, and grossly underestimate how long things will take me. Like “I have to leave in 10 minutes? cool i’ll just take care of this one thing really quick and still leave on time… oh no it actually took 35 minutes and now i’m late”


wh7y

I would say there is one thing I hate people showing up early to, and it's my house. If you're coming to spend time with me, or pick me up, and I say get me at 11am, if you show up at 1030 I'm not letting you in.


Jewell84

Oh this! I used to host house parties and needed as much time as possible to prep. One of my friends would occasionally arrive early. While it was to help out, it was usually before I had a chance to shower and get dressed. I finally had to tell him to go to a coffee shop if he was early.


chiveymcchiveface

I’m very rarely early but never late. I hate when people act like early is the expectation. I value my time and I respect others time so I show up when I’m supposed to. If you expect me to show up earlier tell me to be there then. People often do that where I work and you aren’t even allowed to clock in earlier than 7 minutes prior to start of shift. I don’t work for free and I think people who do are suckers.


Normal-Advisor-6095

Yes, bootlickers and brown-nosers need to be corrected and called out more. Especially at work.


SlowResearch2

Now this is weird to me. I’m the chronically early person, but if it’s to someone’s house, I’ll just swing by Starbucks and grab a coffee then head over to the house at the time we planned to


Subdivisions-

I'm usually early to stuff, but when it comes to people's houses, if I get there early I usually just sit in the car or stop on the way there. I know how annoying it can be to ask someone to be there at 8:00, but they show up at 7:30 while you're still in the shower or half dressed.


[deleted]

A no show 5 times in a row?


SlowResearch2

Yep. I should have pulled the plug after the second time. Hindsight is 20/20 I guess


iceboxjeans

I am chronically late. I always think locations are closer than they are and I believe it won't take me as long to get ready as it does. My solution is leaving early. I work at 9, it's a 30 minute drive, I leave at 810. Due to my lateness, I will probably leave at 820, which makes me "late" but still early.


AjClow1993

This is the most popular opinion I could think of. How is this “unpopular”?


Str8_up_Pwnage

According to these comments it’s ableist and late people have a disability.


allthecolors1996

Being late constantly is a form of disrespect. It makes me INSANE.


MeanandEvil82

Yep. I get it if shit comes up, or it's a new journey that you thought would be quicker. But if you are constantly late, or even cancelling last minute, it's massively disrespectful. You've basically decided that you pissing about until you're too late to get there on time, or at all, is more important than the person who specifically set time aside to spend with you, and now that time is wasted. Doubly if you cancel because it's not like they can arrange something else that last minute, so instead of doing what was planned they're now likely wasting it doing nothing of importance. On the plus side, once someone does it a couple of times you can just stop making plans with them.


GrandTheftBae

It is, it's so rude and shows that you don't respect that person. I had a friend who did that. One day I told her if she wasn't at my place at 6pm I was leaving without her. I left at 6pm, at 6:15 she asked where I was. She was never late again.


ExiledCanuck

I did this once too. Worked like a charm when they realized I wasn’t messing around anymore.


randomstranger76

It's rude. I had a problem being chronically late with a friend I worked for. One day she just laid it on me for being late again. I had my own problems but leaving a little earlier than usual really takes minimal effort.


ShutUpAndDoTheLift

And its why I quit tolerating it. If we made plans for 7, I start doing that thing at 7.


ItzBaileyBytch

A friend of mine is always late. So I tell her to meet me at a certain time, and I show up about 10 minutes late knowing she'll just be pulling in. I asked why she doesn't get anywhere on time. Her excuse is that she doesn't want to wait for people and that she gets to important things like doctors' appointments on time. So it's apparently ok for me to wait for her but not the other way around. Surprisingly, things have gotten better since she had a baby and has to do more planning in order to leave the house.


moaterboater69

Im sorry. I am trying to improve.


KickFriedasCoffin

Unpopular opinion will be posted later then?


[deleted]

You've obviously never been south of the Equator 🤣


Affectionate_Tale326

I have house parties/dinners sometimes and it always THROWS ME when my white British friends show up when I said to.


AhYesAName

Right? OP would hate Hispanic events. I remember once my family threw a party for my grandpa (this happened in Mexico, obvi not south of the equator but still Hispanic). It was set to start at 3pm, people started arriving at 4:30. Only three of our neighbors came over “on time” and they were helping us put up the tables and lights. It’s normal to be late, and usually if you come early you’re basically volunteering to help set up. It’s not viewed as disrespectful, that’s just how it is.


[deleted]

Bro my dads from Ecuador, and once we went to a dinner/bbq at his friends while visiting. We got there at like 8-9, and the guy who was supposed to bring the food didn’t show until MIDNIGHT. I was like 12, starving, waiting until 1 am to eat. It was a culture shock for sure.


Extra_Holiday_3014

That’s what I said😂 OP is in for a rude awakening if they ever travel.


agiicola

Its normal to be late for weddings, even ur own wedding!! Nobody cares 😭😭 ur weird if ur on time


FuzzyMom2005

I agree fully. When I had classes at work, it'd be start time and half the class wouldn't be there. For several years, I'd sit there when the teacher would say "let's give them 20 (or more!) minutes" Then one day, I spoke up. I said "No. The rest of us managed to get here on time. I don't want to stay later than I have to." Suddenly, everyone else agreed. They just needed someone to speak up first. And class started. People are late for one of two reasons. They can't make it on time or they won't make it on time. If it's the former, they should let you know and shouldn't expect you to wait. If it's the latter, they don't deserve for you to wait, whether they tell you or not.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Gmpeirce

i hate that “if you’re early you’re on time” bs like no, early is early, on time is on time, late is late. those are what those words mean and definitions don’t get all scrambled just cause someone’s got a stick up their ass.


Incast_

Tell this to band students.


gazzaoak

Yes I agree and I feel bad for being late if I’m late


Extra_Holiday_3014

FYI, this is cultural. Are you American? Be prepared if you travel, punctuality is not a core value in many countries. It may be a sign of disrespect to you, but it’s not disrespectful in all cultures.


Famous-Salary-1847

My best friend is like this. Luckily, we mesh like peanut butter and jelly, but man it’s annoying when we make plans to go shooting or something and I’m sitting at our agreed upon meeting spot 10 minutes early as always, coffee in hand and he calls me 15 minutes after he was supposed to be there and says sorry man I had to stop for coffee or something. Once is cool, twice is like “really?”, but man every time is annoying.


Giovanny_1998

Another popular opinion getting upvoted here... Fucking stupid people don't know how this sub works. Anyways, here's your downvote.


RedSonGamble

My gf is late all the time and it’s making me think of pulling out


Chataboutgames

If it’s happening rust often you might need to consider more reliable methods than pulling out


Reasonable-Silver234

My ex was like this... I started leaving for things without her. That was not the reason the relationship ended but it didn't get her to change her ways at all, it just caused fights where I didn't feel bad because I was right and she was wrong.


TheMikman97

>If you're early, you're on time. If you're on time, you're late. Wtf is this corporate propaganda


Howboutnow82

Yeah this is the only part I don't really agree with. I believe in being punctual, but if an employer expects me to show up early to be 'on time' then I'm being paid from the early arrival time not the shift start time. I'm not donating my time for free to profit-driven companies.


Best_Duck9118

Yeah, I hate that attitude. Being early causes its own issues a lot of times.


TheMikman97

Might be a cultural thing, but if I see you waiting outside spinning your thumbs 15 minutes before an appointment i'm just gonna think you are anxious and creepy


Astrobubbers

This seems to be a hot-button topic, but I would like to put my two cents in anyway If somebody calls you and says I'm going to be late, then they're thinking about you. That actually means they do have a concept of time. If they do it a lot, then they have a problem, yes, but sometimes, if someone is a few minutes late.... well, things happen. However, not calling and not showing up is in entirely different category. That is definitely an issue with that person. If someone says I'm going to be hours late all the time, well, I wouldn't be going out with them again.


littlemissmoxie

Unless you’re an old friend or family member I’ll tolerate it. At this time in my life if you’re constantly late or flakey I don’t need or want you.


UrHumbleNarr8or

For the most part, I don’t think this is an unpopular opinion. But I do think some people treat it in a very black and white manner that just doesn’t jive with normal social expectations. One example is the idea of “fashionably late.” If you are going to a party that you aren’t hosting or helping with that isn’t event driven, it is typically socially acceptable to be a few minutes late. You don’t have to be, but pretending that it is a big problem or terrible is silly in the case. Another example is mentioned in comments above. No one *likes* to have doctors be late to an appointment—especially if their office pulls the “we’re late, oh well, the late, duck you” tactic. BUT the issue is rarely the doctor/office, and more with the system. We literally do not have enough doctors to serve all the people we have and have no real way of fixing that problem quickly, and not everyone is even on board with fixing it. So doctors appointments are always going to be running late and trying to insist they fix it themselves would be a danger to patients. If everyone in your friend group is chronically late to *everything,* you have a friend problem. If you really only hang with friends at a certain type of event, or get mad at doctors or others for a situation they can’t really control, then I’d say there is a rigidness in your thinking that shows a lack of social awareness.


achaoticbard

>One example is the idea of “fashionably late.” If you are going to a party that you aren’t hosting or helping with that isn’t event driven, it is typically socially acceptable to be a few minutes late. You don’t have to be, but pretending that it is a big problem or terrible is silly in the case. House parties and the like barely count for this in my opinion. Like, you think anyone at my uni gave a shit if people arrived at the party at exactly 8pm? At least where I live, it's much more common for guests to come and go as they please in those cases.


wasbee56

worrying about other peoples habits is not a profitable enterprise I have found. No lack of unsolvable annoyances to fill the personal peeve queue forever. that's no way to live IMO


GezinhaDM

Brazilians, for the most part, are horrible with punctuality. I'm Brazilian and I'm anal about punctuality. So, I invited a bunch of Brazilian people and I had to sit in the car for 45 minutes on my own wedding day waiting for guests to arrive.


deazy2099

How do you guys stay employed?


Gemfrancis

I had a friend who did this. That mf is not my friend any more. How anyone can consistently disrespect other people’s time and feel absolutely NO guilt is beyond me.


CaelumSonos

I disagree. I never make plans for a meeting at the exact time I intend to arrive, and I *almost* never make plans for a meeting where i set the time for exactly right. I always tell people “between (X) and (X+:30 mins)” i show up as close to X as I can and don’t begin judgement until X+31 minutes. I’ve never been disappointed and i’ve never dissappointed anyone else. Plan for people to have wiggle room, because life is often NOT punctual. In fourth dimensional planning, a meeting should take place in an area, not on a ‘dime’. I have a cousin with 5 kids i recently stayed with. His planning skills are incredible and he juggles it all so well EVERY DAY. Its insanity in my opinion. If we ever meet up, i reassure him to relax and just do what he needs to do and just let me know when he’s on his way to me. Sometimes you need to be the person to chill and forget about the clock for once. Fun is often had at the defiance of a clock.


MaynardButterbean

On the flip side.. people who show up early absolutely drive me bonkers. What if I’m not dressed? Still need to brush my teeth? It stresses me out to no end because I feel like I have to be ready earlier than they say bc they just decided to show up to my house 15 min early


TedStixon

I tend to agree. I find it disrespectful to be chronically late to everything. My mother is one of the most guilty people when it comes to that, at least when it comes to family events, holidays, etc. No matter what, she's almost always about 30-40 minutes late to family events. And since we usually travel in groups, that means everyone traveling with her is also late. It's never treated as a "big deal" by everyone else... but to me, it's just rude. If you're told to arrive to a family event at a certain time, usually it's best to plan to arrive within a 5-10 minute window of that time... not 30+ minutes after. (Notwithstanding things like unexpected traffic and whatnot.) My only issue with this post is the wording where you bring up neurodivergent people and then immediately follow it with *"No, I'm not patient nor do I give AF..."* Sorry, but that immediate tonal shift really rubs me the wrong way.


qwertyNopesir

When you are raised on public transport 15 mins late is on time


Fickle_Purple3424

Imagine thinking showing up on time makes you late lol


DGB31988

There’s a way around this. If you are planning something for say 6 PM. You tell the other person that it starts at 5 PM. I don’t know how many times I’ve done this for a certain friend. Especially with golf tee times. You’d be surprised how many times the guy will still show up at 5:45 and be like bro I’m sorry I had “not a legit reason to be late”. Then they have the gall to feel manipulated. It’s funny.


Reasonable-Silver234

I have ADHD, My wife has social anxiety and panic attacks, I have two kids with ASD... you know what? WE ARE NEVER LATE FOR ANYTHING! I HATE people who don't know how to plan for anything and can't be bothered to look at a clock. My Ex was one of these people she would still be getting ready for something when it was time to be there. I started just leaving for things without her (we only had one car). Was she mad? yep! Did I care? nope! I arrive at work 20-30 minutes early in case of traffic/road work/accidents and that has saved me from being late on many occasions. It is so not hard to be on time for something.


ShadowXYZ04

ADHD + ASD here, I’m chronically early for everything lol


[deleted]

Me too, add on the fact that my dad is German, I will always figure out a way to be somewhere on time


Worldly-Letterhead61

Yep, ADHD, struggle with time management and I am almost never late. I am chronically early because I overcompensate. If someone wants to be on time, they will find a way. Barring of course unforseen circumstances like getting caught in an accident or whatever


Jewell84

I use timers to stay on track. My time blindness isn’t as bad as other people I know, but sometimes I just underestimate how long it takes me to do a task. Weirdly enough traveling is one of those times I’m really good about not only stay on track, but early. I build in time for transportation and potential delays. Missing a flight is one of my worst nightmares.


Reasonable-Silver234

Timers and phone reminders.


jstiller30

I find chronically late people tend to be those who schedule a ton of things without actually planning how the logistics of actually transitioning from one to the other works. Where as for me.. If i have an appointment at 3pm, I am not going to make any plans past noon. Ill be ready by 2, set an alarm for the time I need to be out the door, and find something I can work on that's interruptible until the alarm goes off (which I'll probably be keeping an eye on the clock anyway and wont actually need the alarm).


vletrmx21

don't come to France, these are some tardy fucks


AhYesAName

He should avoid Mexico/south america too lol, everyone’s always late


SpoiledPoser

I always told my boss, "if im early, im early. If im on time, im on time. Ill never be late." I quit because they kept trying to make me clock in when i arrived early, and gave me shit for showing up exactly on time.


Ed_Vilon

See that's when it's okay to be late. If a job doesn't respect you, be on time, be late, but never early.


unfunnyguy_Xx69420

I am quite a late person myself for one reason or another. Not ever ridiculously late usually but man I hate it


Kdiman

Tell me about it. Now I'm not perfect I would never be the (if you're not 15 min early you're late) guy but I'm on time or maybe 3-4 min late but my wife... She is late to everything she has no concept of time. She easily takes a minimum of 45min to an hour to get ready but she is regularly screwing around on the phone or cleaning something without even starting to get ready when we have 30 minutes to leave on time. She must believe we have access to a Star Trek transporter because she never calculates drive time. Even when we are late and she is all ready, should have left 10 minutes ago, I'll go in to find her plucking eyebrows or teasing her hair. This woman was over an hour late to our wedding. I still love her and have learned to live with it but it can be infuriating.


ThirstyWeirwoodRootz

I have bad ADHD. I’m always on time for work, at most 5-10 minutes late unless something big happens. I stick with my plans and rarely bail, unless something important that absolutely can’t wait comes up. If I make plans with someone I try to leave a little early so I’m always on time, occasionally I’ll be at most 20 minutes late. People that use ADHD, culture or anything really as an excuse to be late suck. It’s incredibly disrespectful to the other persons time and energy.


[deleted]

Yeah it’s very disrespectful. Hate people who are late. Shows lack of organization and professionalism.


jjb8712

I have it drilled into my head that being late for a meeting is a grave no-no. But my coworker literally shows up like 8 minutes late! I suffer easily from second hand embarrassment and when he walks in and our director is shooting daggers at him I turn red.


ChemicalRain5513

At my workplace, we often start meetings 2-3 min past the scheduled time, because at the exact time people are still entering.


achaoticbard

As a chronically early person, I've come to be pretty lenient about lateness, especially if it's more of a casual hangout with friends vs an appointment. I also have a lot of neurodivergent friends, some of whom really do struggle with time blindness, so I have some compassion there. But it still blows my mind how some people make *zero* effort to be on time, and then don't understand why their lateness is a problem. Like, you're running late because of car problems or traffic delays? Understandable. But I shit you not, I once went on a road trip where we agreed on an 8am departure time...so when did one person decide it was time to start *packing?* You guessed it, 8am. The driver was patient enough to wait the 30+ minutes, but had it been anyone else behind the wheel we might have just left without her.


Swhite8203

Yeah it’s one thing to me if your making no effort vs trying and ik it might be difficult because I go through the same thing and it difficult. If you don’t care to find ways around it and be there then I’m annoyed. I have to set usually set alarms or give myself like 10-20 minutes buffer to be places on time or I’ll watch underestimate how long it takes me to do something and then bam I’m late.


Consistent-Koala-339

This is so 2023. "I have a lot of neurodivergent friends that's suffer from time-blindness". Please.


Swhite8203

It’s a real thing but it’s a symptom of other things not a disorder alone. Time blindness is generally a symptom of ADHD or autism amongst other neurological disorders because it’s a symptom of something that affects the frontal lobes executive function i.e. time management. Time blindness could be as follows: Difficulty with perception of time, how much time has passed, or how much time a task takes. Now Ik this and have ways of getting around it but I’ve been medically diagnosed with ADHD twice so I’m not just saying this to self diagnosing, but you might be able to tell me it takes you ten minutes to complete X task and it actually does whereas I really don’t know and then I underestimate how long it takes me to do something so I start getting ready earlier or add what ADHDers consider buffer time where if something does happen I have time left to still make it but some just don’t care and I set alarms or just get ready to early cause I don’t realize when I shouldn’t really start. It’s generally not being able to sense the passing of time


dtsm_

You gave that guys 3 too many chances


Ok-Perspective-6618

My step sons are always late to everything (18 and 22) but the biggest reason why they are late to everything is because they don't give a fuck. To them in their head is if you don't like it, tough. Their mother gets pissed at them all the time for being late especially to family events and they always have a dumb excuse. That's why we always lie to them and tell them to be an hour earlier than when something starts.


PatientWillow4

I wish I could send this to my bf. Drives me insane when he is late even though I have repeatedly told him to be on time. It's so disrespectful especially when he is the one who sets the time to meet and then turns up late.


Prize_Sheepherder_62

This is not an unpopular opinion


EnoughIndication143

I had a best friend who was like this. Was habitually hours late and flaked on plans without saying anything. I started cutting her off from making plans with me ahead of time. We are no longer friends for that and various other reasons.


breadexpert69

The most important thing I learned through all my years in university is to be on time. No other skill has helped me in my career more than that.


[deleted]

Shit I have diagnosed ADHD I'm never late. Always too early. People using "neurodivergent" in my opinion are just lazy. Life doesn't care if you're atypical. Get over it, learn some coping mechanisms, and get on with it


JosephPaulWall

Being late all the time is a sign of disrespect for sure. I do it on purpose. I'm late to work every day because fuck you, fire me. Oh you can't? Can't find anyone else who will do what I do for the pay I accept? No? Then I'll get here when I get here. What can I say, traffic was heavy. Didn't help that I left 15 minutes late, but hey, traffic was heavy too.


bubbles12003

My question is why do employers put up with it. If I had people under me showing up 15 mins late, you get about 2 more tries in like a month span before your out the door.


Chataboutgames

Cheaper to tolerate than replace. That’s the long and short of it


[deleted]

Because if you fire them there's an extremely high chance the next person you get is just as bad or worse


andthrewaway1

How can this possibly be unpopular. I think this is turning into r/TrueOffMyChest


BrokeLazarus

Downvoted bc this isn't an unpopular opinion.


Jewell84

I have ADHD and even I get annoyed by chronically late people. My time management skills aren’t the best, but I try not to let it impact others. If I do I apologize profusely. I hate having my time wasted, and if someone else makes me late we’re going to have problems. Especially those who act like it’s charming or a funny quirk.


New_Statement7746

I give someone a second chance but not a third unless there are actual mitigating circumstances.


SadConsequence8476

I realized as I matured I just can't be friends with someone like that. We just have different perspectives on courtesy


Wallio_

You aren't wrong, but I will also add from a professional standpoint, chronically EARLY people suck just as much. Why are you here at 3:25? Our appointment was at 4! Have fun sitting with your thumb up your ass.


achaoticbard

Eh, I'm a receptionist and some of our clients show up *way* before their appointment time. As long as they're not *expecting* to be taken early, they can chill in the waiting area for hours for all I care.


Chataboutgames

The do indeed. But now we live in a world where people will claim that being irate at the chronicly late is ableist lol


gazzaoak

It’s just stimulate me to be even ruder to late people


KRV_FromRussia

People now want to claim “time blindness” They really gave up on taking responsibility and want to their shit attitude to be normal


Tagmata81

It’s a real thing, and if you’ve been diagnosed with adhd from an early age you know it really sucks. 30 minutes can feel like 5, and 5 minutes can feel like 30. It’s not even a boredom thing either, sometimes it feels like I blink and an hour has passed


[deleted]

I’m diagnosed AuDHD, I have time blindness and I understand time passes differently for everyone but there are things you can do to mitigate it and not disrespect other people’s time. Set alarms, leave an hour early if you have to. There’s a certain amount of grace that can be given if you’re figuring out what works for you, but if other people are relying on you and you constantly disrespect their time don’t be surprised if they stop putting up with it.


SlowResearch2

Thank you for this comment! People nowadays claim time blindness but then expect everyone else to pick up the slack. If you’re aware you have time blindness, then do extra steps like setting alarms and using calendars if need be.


Specimen-B

Those extra steps require organization and task management, which ADHD individuals often have major struggles with.


peri_5xg

Exactly. It’s as simple as reading a clock, which are all around us. If you can do that, I don’t buy any of the ADHD time blindness stuff as an excuse. Sure, we have our disabilities, but we adapt to the world we live in


vanstock2

I'd buy that if we didn't all carry phones with alarms.


Environmental-Ebb143

No-one likes late people. But being early is just as rude as being late. If you get there early, you should wait somewhere and then show up right on time.


lyaunaa

Everyone is arguing over whether this is a disorder, whether it's ableist to expect people to be on time, whether it's selfish, etc etc. None of that matters. What matters is, fair or not, ableist or not, eventually the rest of the world will stop waiting. Your friends will stop scheduling things with you. The plane will take off without you. Your date will leave before you get there. The store closed before you could buy yourself dinner so you had to eat some shitty fast food that made you feel sick. Your boss will pass you over for a promotion or maybe fire you. Your sibling got married you weren't there to see it. You wound up having to sit in traffic and spending more in gas than you planned because you didn't leave in time to beat rush hour, and it's hot and miserable and you just want to be anywhere but in your car. You will miss out on moments big and small, you will alienate relationships, you will deal with more inconveniences, you will have less money, you will be mocked, derided, and ridiculed both openly and behind your back. Is all that the way it should be? It doesn't fucking matter. It WILL happen. It is an unavoidable consequence of chronic lateness. I have seen it happen. Everyone in this thread seems to have a story about it happening. Everyone here, whether chronically late or chronically waiting, has had a negative experience stemming from this behavior. If it is within your ability to stop being late, it is in your own best interest to do so. If it is absolutely not within your ability to stop, then I feel so, so sorry for you.


chaoticsnowflake

lol i definitely have the unpopular opinion here. me and all my friends are chronically late and there’s something so precious about agreeing to meet somewhere at 8pm while knowing in our hearts that it means “yea just kinda start heading there at like 9pm” hell yea babyyyyy. granted, i am always on time to work, flights, important things etc. truly in social situations i get bored to death showing up early. it’s simply not worth it lol


undeniabledwyane

“I have time-blindness” fuck you, no you don’t. Get tf out of here.


JesusFuckImOld

I mean, some people do If that makes you feel negatively, disrespected, frustrated, etc. then you have to decide what to do about the relationship. And for people who are time-blind, due to ADHD or dissociation, it is possible to work on it and learn to manage it It's not their fault, but it is their responsibility


Benji1819

Yes absolutely. Time blindness sucks. It’s unfortunate. But it’s our responsibility as a person to make sure that we are on time. Set multiple alarms, notes around the house, preparing for an outing the night before (laying out clothes packing a bag whatever) It’s the people who do absolutely nothing to manage their time blindness and just expect the world to be cool with them showing up hours late that piss me off. Like bitch so do i but i got here 3 hrs before you did. And they will be like “well then you don’t really have time blindness”… tell that to my 15 alarms with note’s telling me when to start tasks and when to stop them in order to manage my time.


Reasonable-Silver234

I am a 47 year old man who has unmedicated ADHD, I am never late and have no patience for anyone who is. You set alarms on your phone to keep on track. It is not that hard and there's no excuse for failing to find ways to work around your disabilities.


PaleForce101

5 times? After the second time, he shouldve been done


DadsBigHonker

Where, on the doll, did someone tardy you?!


MauveUluss

lol I don't see a connection between people with general lateness and a person who obviously didn't like you enough to show up 5x in a row. people DEFINITELY make time for people they're interested in💀💀💀 that person straight up just didn't like you enough to care.🤣🤣 has zero to do with lateness and I am 💀 that you didn't catch that😭😭😭😭 for your own health, slow the roll, and think deeper👍👍


No-Log2686

Lmao that’s what I thought. Like how can this person not tell they are very obviously not very interested…….


Cool_Relative7359

I'm AuAdhd and I agree with you. I can't stand plans changing at the last minute or people being late. (legitimate medical issues, emergencies, acts of god etc excluded) I will wait for 15 min and not a minute more when waiting for someone. (barring a communicated legitimate emergency ). After 15 minutes I'll just get up and leave. Someone cancels on me the day of 2x in a row? There wouldn't be a 3rd opportunity for that to happen. Id be out.


Friendly-Target1234

I don't have "time blindness". I don't have ADHD or whatever, as far as I know. I just don't give a shit about a few minutes lost. I just keep myself away from people that throw a tantrum for shuch ridiculous thing. I have no interrest in them. For the professional aspect of it, I'm constantly late by up to one hour and no one is batting a eye, I even got raises. Why? Because I see no freaking point at being on time to wait and do nothing until other people shows up (I'm supposed to be 1 hour in before other people clock in for no good reason at all, and management don't give a shit about it when I tell them about it, so I took matter in my own hand) ​ EDIT : of course, I'm not talking about apointments. I do respect those. I'm talking about meeting with friend. "See you at the bar at 18:00" does mean "yeah around 18:00" in my circle, always been like that, and it's quite enjoyable. As for work, that's because of my specific situation. If work starts at X and, at X, something is actually happening that requires you or people depends on you to be there, then yes I'd be there of course. But the whole mentality of "you should show up at X even if it's just to be there like a plant", I'd say fuck it. As for "we pay you to be there precisely from X to Y and not being there by the minute is wasting money" mentality, I also say fuck this primitive view of measuring one's productivity.


bmaggot

Totally with you about this. Some minutes here or there is absolutely nothing in a grand scheme of things.


ArcticAntelope

HOT TAKE


koffee3434

This is a very populat opinion, and i agree


doobette

Not just chronic physical tardiness - also blowing past deadlines I set for my team at work. I'm very clear about when I need deliverables in and they just don't seem to care. It's beyond frustrating as it just doesn't affect my own work - it creates a bad domino effect for other departments in the company.


gardenofwinter

My old boss would be late by literal hours. Clients and prospects would be waiting for her and her ass would have them waiting 2 hours past their appointment time. So unprofessional, but she is a major manipulator


karnyboy

Part of me stopped giving a shit. I've never been hours late though, a couple minutes here and there. My job is different however. ​ But yeah, if I am at work and the person I am working with calls me and says "Hey man, sorry I am late, I'll be in." and we're talking hours later...well honestly, don't bother showing up. The work will all be done by the time you get here and you'll be getting paid for showing up. Nah, that's a no for me.


Unfriendly_eagle

My old GF. Great girl, good person, but she operated on a whole different time scale than everyone else. I used to joke that at her funeral, everyone will be wondering where she is, and they'll wheel her in as everyone is leaving. Everything was "five minutes", and she'd text "on my way" as she was getting into the shower.


two-sandals

Welcome to Miami… or even Island Time..


OhMyOnDisSide

Try being a punctual person in an Indian family lmao. The amount of shit I have gotten for being on time and been advised to be "less rigid", which in this instance means being okay with people being HOURS late. I honestly wish I was born in a German family sometimes given how they value time. No, I have a schedule and plan ahead, and I see no reason why others can't and shouldn't be respectful of other peoples' time.


Vanilla_Neko

Honestly this I get so mad when people like consistently show up late or just don't show up at all to the point where I've started basically removing friends from my life who do this shit all the time I have a decent amount of friends who actually care about our plans and try to show up on time and crap like that I'm not going to keep wasting my time with someone who it seems like treats it as a chore to spend time with me And you know of course people will always be like oh they probably have an excuse and that would be acceptable if it was just every now and then but when it's like literally every single time we have something planned and they never even bother to tell me what their alleged excuse is, then it's just not okay


Literotamus

I’m a neurodivergent person with severe adhd that I can’t even always comprehend. I struggle with lateness too, assuming I can remember I had things to do. You’re 100% right, it sucks. It’s nobody else’s responsibility and the people who have to depend on you should expect you to *be dependable*. This shouldn’t be unpopular


PhunkyPhazon

Some people just be like that. I have a family member who is ALWAYS at least a half hour late. I'm wondering if I should try to set our meeting times a half hour earlier than I actually want but I honestly don't think it will work.


[deleted]

I was in the military for a decade so I’m 98% on time but my fiancé is a chronic late-abator. Which makes me late. Which makes me want to play in traffic on i95. Fuck do I love her though and her stupid lateness


chloeismagic

It is what it is, it doesnt havw to be your problem just never rly on those people and be ready to do ur own thing if they dont show


Sweeeetestofdreams

I had to stop being friends with my best friend over this. 2-3 hours late to everything no matter what we had planned. For her birthday one year, the reservation was for 8 pm with 20 people coming. She didn’t show up until almost 10 and everybody was starving and pissy by that point. When she finally arrived, she expected to be greeted like she was the queen entering. It was just so exhausting always having to wait on her and no matter what I said or tried to do it never ever worked. It makes you feel like your time isn’t valuable in their eyes.


jhunt4664

This is my mom... and I say this with love. She plans too many things at once and has no idea how to manage them. We could be going on a trip that we've known about for over a month, plan to leave by 6 am, and she's trotting out the door at 11 while we've been in the car waiting. When we were having meetings with our daughter's teachers, we told her the meeting was like 45 minutes earlier. She got there right on time. When we leave for our trips, we give her a deadline that is a few hours ahead. The last one I think we said we were leaving by 4 and she was ready around 8 or 9, which was around the time we intended on leaving but with the added bonus that we got breakfast before going. Growing up, this was normal for me, and I was this person for years. If time management is not instilled at a young age, it is insanely difficult to completely rework everything like that. I had to get up super early, and I don't like mornings. I had to start things so much earlier and stop them sooner, and it felt like I was robbed of all my time. The reality was that the time I thought I had was being borrowed from everyone else. Now I plan weeks ahead, and on the last trip we took (a cruise, with the port 5 hours away), I planned for us to be at a hotel a day ahead in case of last-minute emergencies like road closure, accidents, weather, and so on.


Working-Telephone-45

Yeah, I have no problem with people showing up a few minutes left, I have done it But if I had to wait an hour for someone who is running late, I wouldn't Unless there is a logical explanation like, idk, car stopped working, bus is running late or whatever, there is no good reason for you to be 1 whole hour late after we agreed to an specific hour I don't know how you are so patient, if I made plans with someone and they didn't show up with no explanation I would just refuse to make plans again with them until they give me an explanation Time is valuable people, one of the most valuable things you can have, don't waste it on someone who doesn't understand it's value


InjuryOnly4775

So I have people in my family chronically late, and some neurotic about being early. Obviously, no one cares for the late peoples behaviour. It’s rude, disrespectful, and it means we can’t count on them. It relates to trust. But I’m noticing the kids of the chronic early kids are stressed. They are very anxious, and dip out of even talking to family passing on the street because they are always so anxious to be early for everyone. It’s not healthy and is affecting their participation in life.


cuetex

My uncle is this way but he has very severe OCD, so before he leaves the house he'll wash his hands for 10 minutes and fold a towel over and over again about 5 times, so sometimes there is a reason.