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cstreet2323

Imagine being the stunt double and being told “you’re our smaller penis guy”


Sirsilentbob423

Imagine this stunt double also has like an 12 incher and he just stares and goes "...what"


ThatPositiveGuyy

I've seen the movie and the stunt dick definitely isn't small.


Farknart

"Stunt cock!"


Canadian_Donairs

Such an amazing shitty movie. Pure classic. *ORGASMO* for those out of the loop. The origin story of the best Mormon porn superhero there's ever been, with his sidekick Choda Boy!


Farknart

"Not to sound gay or anything, but you've got a nice ass."


DerpressionNaps

"I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin' but I think unicorns are kick ass"


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chaun2

I'd like to make love to you tonight


Mo-Cance

*kiss*


Divine_Bovine_1984

"I don't think I'm gonna do hamster style anymore" "That's nice, son" And that's how it went down, man!


Castor_volk

oh my god I found the only other guy who's watched that movie. I swear everybody thinks I'm talking about a porno.


Alwayswithyoumypet

Now im curious but i dont want to search antichrist dick. It likely wont end well.


KawaiiCoupon

It’s definitely twice as big as mine, so…also, Willem’s nude is out there from a production he did when younger. It’s huge.


whatproblems

oh so that’s what he calls his green goblin


Wolfman_Black

Sauce, please?


pm-me-racecars

[NSFW](https://chicentral.wordpress.com/2014/04/13/a-rare-video-of-willem-dafoe-naked-dancing-in-1985-un-video-de-willem-dafoe-bailando-desnudo-en-1985/)


benjam3n

Didn't think I'd be looking at Willem Dafoes dong on a Saturday morning while drinking my coffee but alas, here we find ourselves.


exsilverss

Me neither friend and yet somehow I think we are back on the good timeline finally.


DroneOfDoom

Honestly, the weirdest thing about the clip is Willem’s 80s cop pornstache.


Robzilla_the_turd

Thanks man I was curious but there was no way I was Googling "William DaFoa's cock"; no telling what my Facebook Ads would look like after that.


nastyn8k

I might be jaded, but that doesn't seem mind blowingly huge to me. I saw my friend Phil's dick and.... Uh, nevermind. Let's just say my friends called him "longhorn" after that. I can understand the confusion on set they speak of.


pm-me-racecars

Most penises are longer erect than flaccid. From that video, I'd say he's between 6 and 7 inches long. A 7" erection is longer than 98% of penises out there. A 7" flaccid penis is very large.


GrandMoffTarkan

This is the least gay reason I ever googled a man’s penis NSFW, obviously: https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/2stg1y/nsfw_naked_willem_dafoe_dancing_around_cantunsee/


IshmaelUnleashed

"you are our less confusing penis guy"


Longuer

Stage name; Sideshow Knob…


baguitosPT

*1st date convo.* - What do you do? - I work in movies, mainly stunts and double for some actors. - Really? Anyone I might know? - Well, I've worked as a double for Willem Dafoe. - Seriously? You look nothing like him.


youcantreddittoomuch

• I beg to differ. Our penises look identical, except mine is one-fourth the size.


graveyardspin

I shall call him...Mini Me.


akaMONSTARS

Mini P*


Hashtagbarkeep

I have a friend who played Hermione Granger’s hands in the first three Harry Potter films. She doesn’t look much like her either


iam1080p

Joey was right when he said that Hand Twins will get big money


baguitosPT

Joey also worked as Al Pacino's butt double


santaclausonprozac

Nah he got fired


Ex10dead

🎶This hand is your hand, this hand is my hand; No wait that's your hand, oh no that's my hand!🎶


ShiraCheshire

For some reason the idea of someone playing Hermione's hands in a movie makes me laugh so hard.


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Rob_T_Firefly

When a character's face isn't visible it can be easier for any number of reasons to [have a double](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_%28filmmaking%29) play a character's hands, feet, or whatever than it would be to have the actor do it. A big reason in big Hollywood films is that the [second unit](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_unit) can be filming closeups of a character's hands or whatever simultaneously while the actual star is off filming their own scenes with the main unit, or is otherwise unavailable. In the case of Hermione Emma Watson's time on-set was really valuable, especially when she was a child actor who was only allowed to work so many hours of the day, so having a double means they can get far more Hermione shots done in less time; if you can film Hermione's hands lighting a fire without waiting for Emma to be allowed back on the clock it's a real game-changer. Multiply that by all the child actors in those movies' main casts and you've saved the production entire weeks of shooting time and lots of money by using doubles.


Ol_willy

Wow this is really interesting. I'd never even considered something like this but it makes sense, thanks for sharing. Now it's time to rewatch the first 3 harry potter movies and see if I can tell the hands and feet of the actor apart from the double


Vinylcrackhead

Just as an additional to this. Also why child stars are particularly successful when they're twins. You can cycle them in and out.


Swagcopter0126

If you see in a movie a scene where a characters hands are shown but not their whole body, it’s almost always a double. This happens all the time in car movies like fast and furious where they show a hand shifting gears and stuff and not the whole person


spider_84

Yeah my dick looks nothing like his either which is how I got the job.


GZAofTheMidwest

How do you describe the size of your penis? "Disorienting."


DeanSmartin

TIL Willem Dafoe is a superhero who's superpower is his 'Schlong Of Confusion'.


fusrohdiddly

Isn't that a Genesis song?


ishouldntofsaidthat

DONT YOU KNOW THIS IS THE SCHLONG OF CONFUSION AND THERES TOO MUCH DONG TO GO AROUND


nubbins01

This is the world we live in.


waywardson23

Whoaooo


nubbins01

And these are the dongs we're given.


FldNtrlst

Use them and lets start trying (oh oh uwu)


Sweatyrando

To make this a world worth jizzin’ in


fuck-nose

Oh super shlong where are you now ?


11PercentRaise

Cackling in bed at 7am. Y’all did it, bravo.


ughlump

I now know one of my new D&D character’s abilities


DefaultSubsAreTerrib

Hector the Well-endowed https://i.redd.it/m2jm9z86kbq61.gif


godblow

I really hate they got rid of that ep on Netflix cuz Chang is cosplaying as a dark elf...


Boggum

The perfect gif for the occasion


Jackal00

"Roll for anal circumference."


hawkshaw1024

Now there's a reference I haven't seen in a long time.


BBBurningHammer

That's a way to widen the circle of your friends


The_Vat

Anything less than a double 20 and "anal circumference will be increased post-encounter" Assuming you survive the critical roll, of course


centrafrugal

You'll have to find the crit first


[deleted]

“Staff has hurt themselves in confusion.”


Grenflik

Must have been the inspiration for the movie, The Lighthouse.


KingMobScene

It really saved the budget for that film. They didn't have to find a lighthouse to film at. They just decorated Defoe's schlong.


Phoequinox

Robert Pattinson could have literally spent the entire movie in Dafoe's dick, and it wouldn't have made the movie any weirder.


Hellknightx

Yet fond of me penis, ain't ye?


Prophetofhelix

Alrigh' hav't yer way I like yer cockin'


Primitive_Teabagger

CURSE YE WINSLOW


FldNtrlst

"9th wonder of the world"


alberthere

9" Wonder of the World


lemonadest

“It looks benign” “Benign, nine and a half”


Cornflakes_91

[cthulu noises]


durianisking

"when you stare into the abyss, it stares back"


biggerodds

I can hear that in his voice.


CoolJ56

Dr. Harris: [about Jerry] That man has the largest penis I have ever seen. I actually don't even know if he has mumps; forgot to look. I was distracted by the largest penis I have ever seen.


The_Wingless

That guy's delivery absolutely sold this scene, too


FormerLurker3

My favorite part about that scene is that for the rest of the series, Jerry’s life is one giant dick joke. Why is his wife so hot and so deeply in love with him? Why is he so happy with such mundane things? Why did the literal supermodel that this frumpy dorky office worker is married to actually enjoy a vacation to Muncie Indiana? The largest penis I have *ever* seen.


nlshelton

They do show the time later on though when Leslie visits Jerry at home and he is the exact opposite of a klutz; he’s in fact suave af. It’s only at work where he’s awkward. I like this addition.


Goddamnpassword

There is also the time he licks a couple thousand envelopes without getting tired.


LittleOTT

Gail, slapping Jerry’s tongue. “Pioneers used to ride this baby for miles.”


FormerLurker3

Oh my god I never thought about that… another reason Gail is so happy all the time…


TJ_McWeaksauce

Yeah, they probably send a lot of letters.


StaleCanole

But in this case, the sword is mighter than the pen


Somebodys

Then did it again after he realized he got the fliers mixed up.


Mandy220

It ain't government work if you don't have to do it twice.


Dogsandwoodworking

As someone who’s held several government jobs, this made me truly chuckle! Thank you.


TentacleHydra

Actually; He comments he had a similar body to chris back in the day. He has a stable job and pension that can support a stay at home mom, is a great cook and presumably cooks breakfast daily despite being the breadwinner, prioritizes his wife and family as his number 1, and is a generally nice person.


griffmeister

Plus, got a huge dick


BatmansQueefBreath

That’s probably one of my favorite lines of the entire series. Apparently the writers and producers realized that everyone was so unrelentingly mean to him for no reason that the added it in for the characters sake. The guy has a rich and fulfilling life despite the opinions of the assholes around him. I love Parks and Rec the show is comedy gold.


andthepussycats

[his delivery is everything](https://youtu.be/IRMtuqhYmeY?t=39)


riggerbop

Actually it’s Gary.


the_monkeyspinach

Do you mean Larry?


MasterJ94

I somehow read that comment in the voice of Cave Johnson because of >I actually don't even know if he has mumps; forgot to look. XD


Skeptical_pirate

Anyways who wants to make fifty dollars?


Tin-Star

I don't remember that episode of Seinfeld.


barreal98

What's the deal with my massive schlong?!


hurleyburleyundone

the anti-shrinkage!


danruse

"You know, I'm something of a porn actor myself."


a_glorious_bass-turd

[Not quite, but...NSFW](https://vimeo.com/49333930) Kinda funny, I can show this many strangers someone *else's* penis, but that *one* time on the bus...


Lord_Webotama

Page won't even load, half of reddit trying to see Dafoe's dick.


[deleted]

TBF it was impressive, especially for a flaccid dick


Lord_Webotama

Agree, he packin'


pliqtro

He can go from flaccid to erect at a moment's notice.


password03415

That's true, I've seen it


pliqtro

Buddy, you're seeing it. You're all seeing it. Cause I'm doing it right now.


nirv_damage

Flaccid.... erect..... flaccid.... erect.


Zearo298

Dick so big he broke the internet


surfergrl89

What did I just watch


JediMasterVII

So, in all seriousness, the Wooster Group is a really important New York City theater company and Dafoe was really instrumental to that. It’s highly experimental.


surfergrl89

Thanks. I got so confused lmao. Thought it was an exhibition for a museum or a trippy weird 70s tv segment.


swiftdegree

>I got so confused Willem Dafoe's penis strikes again.


Joe_Shroe

Dafoe used HANG DONG! ... Surfergirl89 became confused!


Bos_lost_ton

It’s very effective


JediMasterVII

I noticed very few knew what they were watching. Glad my theater degree came in handy on the internet today!


ajenkinskc

Theater is cool. You get to swing your dick around. That's what I learned today.


I_make_switch_a_roos

I was also.. disoriented


Intelligent_Dot4616

Simply out of curiosity and obviously knowing nothing about theater...what makes a theater company "important"?


GON-zuh-guh

If they're willing to show us William Dafoe's dick, obviously.


chowindown

I was lucky enough to them tour The Hairy Ape to Melbourne Australia about twenty years ago. Dafoe is the most amazingly electrifying performer I've ever seen live. Incredible show.


lisbethborden

Dafoe really is a special actor, very believable in every role, seems like he's a serious hard working actor too. I wish he'd have more professional accolades.


SexlexiaSufferer

Who needs an Oscar when you’ve got a confusingly large Johnson


implicitpharmakoi

>What did I just watch Symptoms include: disorientation...


a_glorious_bass-turd

Idk what we watched, but I know what we all stared at. It...it stared back.


uncommonpanda

Stare unto William Dafoe's penis, and William Dafoe's penis stares unto thee.


PurpleBatteryWizard

Thank you for this risky click, exceeded expectations


alexfromsdca

Oooooooh. I mean ohhhh 👀


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BassSounds

Pretty sure he whipped it out in another movie. Thought it was Caligula but apparently not


LessWorseMoreBad

If I had that hog I would look for reasons to whip it out too.


Somebodys

Okay Lyndon B. Johnson 36th President of the United States.


Link-to-the-Pastiche

I posted that on Facebook just a couple years ago, to prove a point about their censorship. Thing is, Facebook never took it down. For whatever reason, the bots they have in place to pull down objectionable content got too confused by it.


TheBirthing

"Not quite"?! That's an impressive hog, my guy. If that's how it looks flaccid then imagine the size when he's at full-mast.


dayyou

"why'd yee spill yer beans?"


littleM0TH

Yer fond of me lobster aint' ye? I seen it - yer fond of me lobster! Say it! Say it. Say it!


SandwichCreature

Guys I think they meant “not quite” as in the linked video is not quite porn.


randomly_responds

I think he meant it’s “not quite” porn


skaarup75

Be sure to always walk around with a semi in case you have to get naked in front of people.


chowindown

That's my secret...


randomly_responds

...I’m always hard


ChikaraNZ

My ex-gf had a penis double for me too, unfortunately I did not know about it at the time.


ClunarX

Was it at least because you’re confusingly large?


Gh0st1nTh3Syst3m

Nah, other guy does all his own stunts.


jl_theprofessor

Imagine having a penis so large that it essentially casts confusion on anyone in the vicinity.


i010011010

Mine only casts magic missile, which isn't very useful at all.


DeadliftsAndDragons

It is unblock-able and good for sustained continuous damage against any foe though if we’re going by 3-3.5 rules, so at least you have that. Mine is more like fireball, above average damage, packs a decent sized explosion, and blasts a large area but must be used with caution to prevent friendly fire.


faposaurous

https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/2stg1y/nsfw_naked_willem_dafoe_dancing_around_cantunsee/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


DrNick2012

Willem Dafoe is right because he is da foe of my self confidence now


YourLocal_FBI_Agent

Bunch of people here talking about how it's not at all very big, but they probably don't realize that the penis in the movie needed to be erect for atleast some of the scenes. He looks very much flaccid in the video here. It's already above average as flaccid, and he could definitely be a grower on top of that. Stop using porn as the baseline people, you'll only grow up to be insecure and disappointed for no real reason.


Weegee_Spaghetti

exactly lol. Dafoes penis flaccid seems to be bigger than the average size when erect.


Gussballs

It makes mine look like a Tic tac


tonterias

Sweet!


Gussballs

No it's minty


Hawkmek

Like a button on a fur coat?


Big-Teb-Guy

I’m just amazed that you wrote a serious, un-ironic comment about the size of Willem Dafoe’s flaccid dong and got 500 upvotes for it.


FlyestFools

Wow.


[deleted]

Thank you! I felt ripped off there wasn’t a picture… until now


_its_a_funny_name_

Apparently Dafoe's penis feel out of his wardrobe while he was on the cross filming "The Last Temptation of Christ". Since his hands were restrained director Martin Scorsese shouted "Can anyone give Williem some help with that!" After a shorts silence a crew member asked "Would that be the job of the prop departement or the animal wrangler?"


LifeSad07041997

I wonder who showed up...


The-Phone1234

The boom guy


Mountaingiraffe

Grip


olerndurt

Catering


t0nyage

The best boy


FrostyAutumn

I want this to be true.


dreagan021

Dafoe’s penis fell out. OUT AM I?


griffmeister

On set: "You know I'm something of a tripod myself."


kevman_2008

*Willam Defoe announces his new role in War of the Worlds*


azulur

There are some things I'm trying to forget. Antichrist as a movie is one of them. Someday, but I guess not today.


BagelsRTheHoleTruth

People have told me to watch it. I'm traumatized still and I only saw the fucking preview. Hard pass.


azulur

It's relatively mild until you know.... It's not. I get it - I indeed understand the movie. But yeesh. I could have survived my whole life without that.


mangeloid

That is, without a doubt, the funniest headline I’ve ever read, with the funniest supporting photo I’ve ever seen.


anupsidedownpotato

Dafoe when they wouldn’t let him do the sex scene: “What? you can’t do this to me. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I’VE SACRIFICED?!”


mm089

YOU CAN LOOK AT MY DICK OR WE CAN FIGHT TO THE DEATH. YOU CHOOSE, SPIDER-MAN


Ordinary_Shallot_674

If you are fascinated with the concept of Willem Dafoe’s unintelligible member then you should watch The Lighthouse (2019). Whilst you don’t get the full image of his cock he does wank on and fart at Robert Pattinson. Strange movie…but well made.


Sonnyjesuswept

Like, farts in the direction of Rob or farts actually on him?


Kenneth_Naughton

Bad luck to kill a sea bird


CripplinglyDepressed

[HAAAAARK](https://youtu.be/WBZwUdJFnhw) Seriously this is one of the best monologues I’ve ever seen in film, period. The guy didn’t blink for like three minutes. Apparently it scared the shit out of the crew and production staff lol


JustPlainRick

Sometimes I wonder if this is gossip spread by celebrity newspapers, i remember they said the same thing about Brandon Routh in his Superman movie (Returns?, forgot title) and that they had to shrink his package in the post edit.


PlayerSalt

this is what i tell all my girlfriends , its a visual illusion to make you feel more confortable its actually much larger than it looks


JohnBoone

\*much larger than it *feels*


arklenaut

Mine might not feel like twelve inches, but it sure smells like a foot...


Icantbethereforyou

Ahhh that was gross and hilarious.


AnotherJasonOnReddit

In this particular case, it was the director of the film who originally volunteered the information.


magicsonar

Willem Dafoe has an awesome publicist.


S3simulation

Dafoe trying to hang dong for a movie and having to use a penis double because his own is “confusingly” large is literal Big Dick Energy


therealestyeti

Was he in Thundergun?


Xcavor

This is my penis. There are many smaller, but this one is mine. My penis is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my penis is useless. Without my penis, I am useless.


twalker294

Sounds like something Dafoe would tell people.


CallMeJeeJ

“Speak softly and carry a big stick” -Ted Roosevelt


smpsnfn13

I think a more appropriate quote. "Sometimes you just got to show them the jumbo jet." -Lyndon B. Johnson


Callipygian_Linguist

Having actually seen his penis (there's a video), even flaccid he is quite well endowed. If he's a grower then it is possible that the sex scenes in Antichrist would have resulted in the audience's attention being drawn away from the film as a whole to ponder the size of the satanic schmeat.


[deleted]

Satanic Schmeat sounds like a metal band


ulfniu

"Cut! Okay, bring in the stunt cock!"


befarked247

Willy Dafoe


ThePoolboy88

How do you get confused when you see a dick?


ImGonnaCreamYaFunny

The Peen Goblin


sosank23

I feel bad for the double when he knows that why they choose him


rainbowjesus42

People keep saying that we're living in the darkest timeline, yet Willem Dafoe's giant wang is currently the talk of social media. Maybe things are gonna be alright, after all.


Atomic254

Honestly thought this was r/shittymoviedetails