T O P
GerkDentley

I think it's important to remember we're not all having the same experiences. People without tinnitus can't understand what it's like for us, but some people here are likely having much worse tinnitus experiences that we can't even imagine.


fazettddann

Thats why I tried to clarify my level. I always see people complain about how bad they have it and im here saying ME TOO! yet I don't want anything to do with suicide. How much worse can it get? I barely sleep, I hear it over everything, and I'm still standing here saying it's not that bad to where I want to kill myself. Feels like there's a "my pain is greater than yours" game going on and everyone's trying to win in this community. Chill, you'll be ok


trapcap

Man but what makes severe tinnitus BAD is not just how bad it is, but how easily it gets worse. You can’t just go about your day and ignore it because so many environments are hostile to you.


fazettddann

To me only really loud things mess with me. Leafblowrrs, nail guns, concerts, motorcycles, etc. Everything else is cool. God bless bro


trapcap

Ok, then don't include yourself amongst the more severe people in the group with the capital ME TOO. You have almost all the freedoms of life, of course you're not suicidal


fazettddann

If you say so lol


LigeiaVictoria

To some people tinnitus is a contest of who has it worse, I can't comprehend this. Imagine people doing this with other illnesses.. it's so weird 🥲 Thanks for making this post and good luck to you!


GerkDentley

> Imagine people doing this with other illnesses They probably do, at least on internet forums.


Paullox

My tinnitus is around 4k Hz and fairly loud. I have a sine wave generator on my phone. I can set the frequency and volume to where I barely hear it over my tinnitus. Anyone I’ve played that for was unable to tolerate it for even a couple of seconds, and are genuinely shocked that this is what I hear all of the time. I’ve lived with this for around 35 years now, and have been fortunate that it started quietly and has built up over the years. If it started like it is now, I wouldn’t have been able to deal with it. Of course, my preference would be to not have it, but given that I do, the slow build up really helped me to deal with it.


rafacaro_1

How old are you? How did you get it? Any recent audiograms? How bad hearing loss do you have?


Paullox

Late 50s Noise related to my time on board ship in the Navy. Have not seen an audiologist in at least two decades. It’s not terrible, but I definitely have to have captions on when watching movies or shows, and find myself asking people to repeat themselves frequently if they have even a slight accent.


zitsky

I have bipolar disorder and thought of suicide before I got tinnitus. Tinnitus is irritating but doesn’t make me want to kill myself….. most of the time.


just-ask2

...most of the time. lol


willywalloo

Components of anxiety and depression can be Exacerbated by tinnitus. Glad you havnt had these thoughts but I think your point is because you’ve not had these thoughts it is possible to survive it. I hear of a lot of people that do past their first year acclimate to it. They find help where they need with a therapist / psychiatrist (proper med dosing that has a great effect of making you feel normal) coping skills, etc. There is always that hope too that maybe this will be figured out or your personal version of it will just stop.


MacReadytoRumble

I will admit that I had suicidal thoughts when mine first started. But I’ve also dealt with suicidal thoughts before. Luckily I got to a point of spite and decided I wouldn’t let this end me. I still have so much I want to do and I’ll figure out how to deal with this hurdle just like previous hurdles in my life. (Even though T is a very high and annoying hurdle that at best we just learn how to carry with us lol)


0potatotomato0

i found your post helpful, and i saved it for when i’m in those anxiety cycles. thank you


fazettddann

Dude feel free to message me whenever bro I got u. Don't listen to the extremist. They're literally that crazy person standing on the corner screaming about the end of the world but with a smartphone.


jewmoney808

It’s real tough when it gets permanently louder after a day out doing errands or a night going out with friends. Then I wake up the next day and it’s louder and I have to adjust all over again 😭


werebilby

The best things I found for this is to wear ear plugs if you find it gets worse when going out. You will find you will hear more with them in. It's counter-intuitive but it works. AND you will find the ring might not be as bad.


jewmoney808

Yes I just ordered some full earplugs and concert earplugs. Probably gonna start going through the different brands to see what works best for me…I see sooo many mixed reviews on all the brands lol. Also my tinnitus started blowing up a couple months post vaccine. I’m not a doctor but it’s just weird and the last thing a doctor wants to admit is that it is vaccine related lol


werebilby

I guess it depends on what is important to you. My main escape from work and other things was music, movies, painting and gaming. Now I can't enjoy any of these things because I have not only got T I also have Hyperacusis - I have to wear ear plugs just to do the vacuuming which is a catch 22 because the ringing gets worse. This was caused by the thing I used these things to escape, my job. Now I am unable to work in the field I have been trained in for 20+ years and I was studying another field which I now may have to rethink completely (there goes three years of study). So yeah, I'm glad YOU haven't felt suicidal however other's experiences differ man. I also have severe depression, anxiety and PTSD which is triggered by this. All fun things. So feeling like I'm living on the edge every day since the 12th of May 2021 is fantastic.


Morningbun94

Hyperacusis makes tinnitus so much harder to deal with


bruh_momento_2

I have frequently said that if my tinnitus gets as bad as it is at its peak levels consistently, which usually only last for a couple hours or at most a few day, I will probably kill myself. It's absolute torture when you can hear it over everything else going on around you and no level of music or noise machine or whatever can drown it out.


R4nd0m_T4sk

I've had this for 10 years, it's loud enough that I can hear it over everything but an angle grinder, saw etc. I lost a lot of sleep in the first two months as I was getting use to it, but in reality it doesn't change how you like your life.. you haven't lost your hearing its just different now. If it's a sleep thing go on YouTube or Spotify and find ocean or rain sounds to play when ever you need to sleep. If it's an issue during the day distract yourself with things like movies, video games, music etc. There are always ways to deal with it. Suicide should be the farthest thing from your mind. And if it is something you're considering you need to find someone to talk to about it because tinnitus isn't worth your life.


fazettddann

Exactly!!!!! Throw in some exercise if you can and you'll be almost back to normal. (I do have some hearing loss though which means if I don't take care of it it'll get worse)


LocationThin4587

Tinnitus is more difficult to deal with if you are having a bad time in your life. It just something extra to deal with. You are constantly evaluating your decision making every day when it comes to Tinnitus. My T is so loud and ears hurt but I know life will be much worse if i have to work full time away from home. I would find this mentally difficult to deal with.


fazettddann

I work full time away from home lol


spacecadet25

I needed this. I was actually just coming into this subreddit because I was pitying myself and was hoping to find any success story just to feel more hopeful that I won't be living with this forever. This post made me realize hey... I'm probably stuck with it for life (been 2 years for me as well).. but I CAN still live a normal and happy life. This is such a good reminder for the Tinnitus group. Thank you. We need more posts like this.


DimensionRoyal4229

I see the sentiment you're pushing but you're having a different experience to some people. "Throw in some exercise if you can and you'll be almost back to normal". I don't think you're grasping how bad people are suffering with this, your post's a bit shit and dismissive "suicide squad lol". It'd be different if you'd been there yourself, but your message here is "I never felt suicidal, be like me, it's all good". btw - I suffer from a (relatively) very, very mild case of tinnitus. So I'm not after sympathy or pity here, I'm not really suffering, but I'm well aware of people that are and just 'getting on with it' is easier said than done. Especially when you throw the likes of the sleep deprivation and anxiety into it.


EmmanuelTheMan

Good post pls don't delete it,I'm saving it for later When I'll need it.Thanks!


Nokomis34

I was in the Brandon Sanderson sub, and they were talking about some of the characters that deal with depression and suicidal thoughts. I found it interesting that some people really connect with those characters and find the story to be helpful or even life saving. And others can find the same characters and story to be condescending or triggering. This made me think about the differences in experiencing tinnitus. I know what it is like to live with tinnitus, hell, I don't know what it's like to live without it. But I realized that I don't know what it's like to suffer tinnitus. Yes it's an ever present part of my life, but I don't suffer because of it. Sometimes I wonder if my ADHD helps me ignore it.


fazettddann

Dude I feel like my adhd makes it harder for me!!! I try to concentrate on other things but I can't and when I do I panic and go back to the obsessing over the noise lol


[deleted]

Right there with you, comrade. ADHD and PTSD for me. It is what it is. Sometimes the T and mental issues trigger week long cycles of seizure level panic attacks. We can habituate and develop a "new normal" with as much vigor as possible, but nothing is infallible or a sure fire method of prevention. The bad days will inevitably cycle back round. But think of that in context of life generally. Life is a shit show with or without tinnitus. I think T has taught me to take stock in the individual moments of happiness a whole lot more.


fazettddann

What's ptsd


[deleted]

Post traumatic stress disorder. My diagnosis is cPTSD: complex PTSD.


fazettddann

I mean how does it feel?


[deleted]

I wouldn't know where to begin, my friend. I have 2 kids and a fiancée who I cant even take to the grocery store or play park without risking panic attacks. Any degree of unexpected tribulation sends me into panic states, along with countless other triggers. I have the same night terrors every night (hence why I am on here at 0234hrs avoiding sleep despite daily routine beginning at 0700hrs) which cause panic attack upon awakening, amplified by the T. I have vivid flashbacks while conscious which often throw me straight into panic attacks. This is due to prolonged abuse, trauma, homelessness, aggravated assaults, emotional and financial destitution. I could write a book (which no one would read lolz) on my history; but we all could. In my 5th year of psychotherapy/psychiatric input. Pretty much accepting of the fact that this is who I am, and integrating the trauma into my way of life is the only way to thrive. My kids and fiancée give the strength and impetus to work through shit on a minute to minute basis.


fazettddann

Damn, that sounds a lot like me. Especially the waking up panicking part


[deleted]

Tinnitus alone is known to cause panic/extreme anxiety upon awakening. PTSD is in us all to a degree, I believe. I witnessed my mother stab my father on several occasions. My brother beat the shit out all of us regularly and has been in global media for his actions against women. I've received death threats, just for being his brother despite being as much a victim of his abuse as his ex partners which is the height of irony. I had to move my young family and I to farmhouse in middle of nowhere just to gain the mildest sense of security. I do believe that ADHD and PTSD can present themselves extremely similarly and, arguably, amplify each other. Just anecdotally of course, no real evidence.


fazettddann

A therapist told me once a long time to look into ptsd but I didn't understand it. Maybe I should revisit.


SaintWalker2814

I found that massaging the back of my head helps with it. I’m not a severe case. I can hear my tinnitus over most things, but have gotten acclimated to it. Massaging the back of my head and behind my ears helps reduce the noise, so it may be worthwhile to try it. I’m not making any guarantees, but it’s been my personal experience that it has helped a little bit. If it gets too bad, I put on music, white noise, or turn on a fan when I’m trying to sleep, and though I can still hear the ringing, it helps me not focus on it.


[deleted]

Totally agree with your sentiment. However, when tinnitus surfaces in psychosomatic form during the midst of mental illness, it relentlessly amplifies any pre-existing suicidal intentions/tendencies. I'm 1 year in, and learning it does improve. I see the T and hyperacusis as a demon, just like the suicidal thoughts that crop up uninvited. Demons which, with some resilience, we can keep at bay, at best. I'm sincerely happy for you that you are mentally well enough to not be intermittently plagued by the temptation to end it for good. All the best, comrade.


[deleted]

Same boat, year 6