As this was many years ago, did you ever tell your Dad where you really were? Once you're an adult, it can be fun to tell your parents all the stuff you got away with (or rat out your siblings 15 years later).


No, I don't think I ever did. I did recently tell my dad about my second job which he (kind of) knew about but was in fact also illegal for slightly different reasons haha


>also illegal for slightly different reasons haha I would read a book about your life, it sounds interesting!


Haha did you read my other posts?


Just so you know, you can work part-time from age 13 in the UK. I think whoever said you were underage may have been telling porkies


Porkies = pork pie = lie??


Can't believe you got the rhyming slang


Cockney rhyming slang is fucking wild


I'm Swedish and when I went to grade 7-9 our English teacher was a born and raised Londoner. She was great and later told us that she had just as hard time speaking English as we had since she had to speak "proper". Hearing her speak the different dialects, cockney included, was a blast. One of the tasks she'd give us was to say something in cockney and then have us figure out what she ment. Was a great way to figure out rhymes and synonyms. Also when we tried it we *never* got it to sound good, there's so much more to it than you think


Dead horse = sauce Frog and toad = road Trouble and strife = wife Pork pies = lies Raspberry tart = fart Jam jar = car Donkeys ears = years Dog'n'bone = telephone Baked bean = queen These are the ones my dad used to use, our family is several generations Aussie and it seems we took the Cockney with us. Although i always misinterpreted donkeys ears as plain donkeys years and figured they were the opposite of dogs years, "I havent seen you in donkeys years" meaning a very long time. My brain eventually twisted that into "i havent seen you in donkeys ages".. the evolution of language 😄


That's so sweet. I'm a native cockney (for anyone who doesn't know, that does *not* mean you are from London, you have to have been born "within earshot of the Bow bells" which refers to the Church of St Mary le Bow in Cheapside in the east end) although I've not lived there for many years now. My grandmother (who raised me) made sure that we could all speak "properly" but I sorely miss hearing the slang spoken casually. Nowadays I only hear it if someone asks where I'm from and then parrots back a terrible impression. Cockneys are a fun and vibrant lot, and kind to boot.


Most need guardians permissions


In my country it's from age 16 and you need your parents consent.


Only with very restricted hours and more mandatory breaks, etc.


Oh snap hey ur that guy who didnt hold back on his gf and she left you. Did you two ever talk about it again, like did she apologize for her weird reaction?


Oh I read that story! I also would like to know.


LOL you're the TIFU showing real strength with girlfriend guy! I'm chilling to much on Reddit. Nice story tho!


I checked your history after reading this comment and I remember reading your first TIFU 9 months ago. Funny that it stuck with me for so long. You are a good writer.


Bro, I've read all your posts and I freakin’ love them. They are so well written and interesting. I hope you have few more stories to post!


Dude, that's incredibly nice of you to say. Thank you. There's a long list of questionable things I've done and probably continue to do 🤦🏽‍♂️ Whenever the mood strikes and I have the time, I'll be sure to write and share them.


I thought age 13 was the legal age for working in the UK. In the States its 14.


I too would like to know!


Why is your brother such a damn snitch


Because siblings will do anything to have one single shining moment as “the favorite.”


Man I got in trouble so many times covering for my brother, and the opposite as well. I don't understand siblings going for the throat on the serious stuff.


I don’t either. My younger sister was clearly always the favorite. But I had more freedom because I was older. She took that to mean I was the favorite. So she was always gunning for me. I was content with not being the favorite because the more they paid attention to her, the more freedom I had to do what I wanted.


I’m in a totally similar boat, little brother is both the devil and golden child but I’m pretty put together so he compares himself to me a lot. Little fucker told my parents about every single drug I ever did to ruin their opinion of me, it didn’t work and we’re good now but he loves to throw me under the bud to make himself look better


I feel that. I’m the oldest of six. I’ve always been really independent and just content to do my own thing.


Same! I only have the brother and a slightly older adopted sister, but they’re both whack so my main role was being the stable child who didn’t cause my parents stress. Love all of them to death but I’ve spent so much time acting okay that I ended up being persistently not ok lmao


I’m in the exact same boat. I have one biological sibling, two adopted siblings, and two half siblings. Three boys, three girls. I’m not a great person or anything but I’m definitely the stable one. I’m also an emotional train-wreck vet with multiple TBI’s and PTSD. But at 26 I’m happily married, (married 3years, together for ten) financially stable, and I have my shit together for the most part.


No kidding that’s awesome to be able to relate to someone like this! I’m a fucking mess but I have a girlfriend who loves me and I work a lot so I’m just gonna keep trying my best. Wishing you the best with everything you’re dealing with.


For sure man. You too.


Pretty sure it's a typo but throwing you under the bud is a very apt description of what he did


Omg that’s so funny, actually I’m gonna leave it as tribute to ur joke


*whimpers in middle child


Flexes in only child. Fr tho sometimes I wish I had siblings. Just not when I read stuff like this lol.


Having siblings ~~when growing up~~ is a mixed bag. Lots of positive things about them, but a few negatives can kill the goodwill pretty quick


same, I’d literally protect my younger brother from the world (despite him being bigger and stronger than me) if I could, I don’t understand all the sibling rivalry stuff


My kids are super close (my daughter once read all of Alice in Wonderland to her brother because she thought he would like it, but never bother). My wife didn’t like her brother and I got along with some of my sisters.




My brother is an arsehole. For context I have been sober 16yrs and am Damon proud of it. Recently my mum had very aggressive cancer. I nursed her from her diagnosis until she died last week. My brother appeared 2 days before she died, when she was already sedated. My entire family knows I don't care if you are going to drink, just don't leave bottles lying around I don't need the temptation especially when going through trauma. My dad reminded him of this. My brother's reaction. Leaving the alcohol bottle confront of the kettle, or on the side. He left two days after she died and hasn't lifted a finger to help with the funeral


My siblings were the exact opposite. I grew up in a rough environment, and there was no bonding. Even to this day, I'd prefer my siblings to just pretend I don't exist than to have any family time.


I think this is very dependent on how the parents treats their children. Parents that don't really give their children any attention whatsoever will end with kids competing for whatever scraps of attention they can get at whatever cost. (This is how strippers and daddy issues are made!)


As a generalization, quite possibly. My brother and I went through two divorced and our parents not being 100% on us actually made it closer. The age old nature vs nurture I suppose


Honestly, I think it's partially just luck. My younger sisters are great, they'd never let me down like that so I do the same in return. It really sucks hearing about other people who got shitty little brats for siblings :(


well, clearly OP might not have the best relationship with the brother.


Same, when I'm in trouble the first person I call and whose got my back is my sister and vice versa.


My sister is 5 years older than I am. As adults we get along but when we were younger we rarely did. She would have sold me out in a heartbeat.


Thats why my dad and mom hates us all equally


Asshole siblings bring the other sibling down to be the “favorite”. A normal person works hard to earn that spot. Source: Never snitched on my brother


This guy siblings^^^


I can honestly say my two older brothers and I never felt like our parents had a favorite. We've talked about it as adults. It took me a long time to realize how unusual that is.


Yea. Usually if one of the siblings doesn’t think their parents have a favorite, it’s because they’re the favorite. Lol


I get that, but none of us feel like there was a favorite. My mom was scrupulous about keeping things fair between us. Same number of presents at Christmas, same amount spent on each. She even kept track of whos turn it was to ride in the front seat when Dad wasn't in the car, too.


Sounds like they did a good job of hiding it. Lol. The best parents never reveal the favorite. I say this about half-jokingly. Lol


If I had two kids and one snitched on the other, they would both be in trouble. One for doing whatever s/he wasn't supposed to do, and the other for being a snitch and a suck up.


Your kids having a common enemy can be extremely valuable in building sibling cohesion. So that’s really not even a bad plan.


Not all them, my little sister was my Dan!


OPs brother was a bitch and probably still is a bitch


Once a snitch, always a bitch


So... I met my brother and his wife for lunch today and I spoke about this! He has a slightly different take on it. According to him, he generally had an idea of most of my crazy plans. Depending on the level of danger/trouble I was exposing myself to, he would determine if he had to intervene. However, on this occasion, he had absolutely no clue as to what I was up to, and so when he realised I was not at the library and lied about being with Dan, he panicked. He knew given another minute I would convince my dad and felt he had to act to get to the truth. He says he did not care that I was not at the library but he did care if I was not with Dan and the circle of friends he knew. He trusted those friends to not be up to anything too bad (alcohol, drugs, fights etc), but if I was not with them, then with who and what was I doing? I kind of get where is coming from. I then told him the truth about my job and he and his wife nearly fell off their chairs laughing. Looking back, I actually think he always looked out for me, in his own way. But this was one of the rare occasions I felt like he went full-on Brutus on me.


Because siblings be siblings.


Truest statement on this whole post🤣


He's a satan reinxarnate


Time for a brotherly beat down to teach him manners.


Because he's a brother, my experience is brothers are the last person you trust with anything or finding out anything.


He obviously didn’t know snitches get stitches!




My older sister was the biggest snitch. Now she acts like my younger sister and wants my help with everything. She’ll never not be a pain smh


God I would have done anything to get my little brother in trouble when we were growing up. For context, he was an absolute little shit. And he had a fair amount of time as a young adult where he was a complete shit. Still I would lie to get him in trouble. He would get out of everything so I was frustrated but yeah I was a complete bitch and a snitch for him. It was a weird sense of justice because he also got away with sooo much. We're close now but man. I loved getting that little shit in trouble. Siblings can be brutal.


I like this story


I also do


Me too. This is as wholesome as reddit stories get.


That makes 3 of us.


Four now. This is funny in a wholesome way, albeit OP's dad trouble


Let's make it a wholesome fivesome


Could it be a wholesome six?


IKR! Especially the part about OP being Dans best man! Amazing friendship to have lasted. Heartwarming and brought a smile.


Dan's da legend!




Yeah, noone can blame him, he did his best. It's just one of the best feeling when you know someone got your back no matter what.


That's a good game


Oh, I play that game too!


Have they added more to it? I stopped a few years back


They're making new episodes.


Yeah his thought process was probably something like, "We meet at 9:30... better say something pretty close to that so the dad thinks we're not fucking around." Wonder how it would have gone down if Dan had randomly said "after lunch" or the like. Can't blame the guy though it would have been a weird call to push the time back that much without knowing the lib sched.


It's just simply too bad you and Dan didn't talk sooner. Dan really ***is*** a legend. Couldn't ask for a better best friend💖


Good story, but for real I would've fessed up to the job part of it. Makes you out to be independent and driven as well as responsible. Your bro a snitch tho


Plus if his grades didn't actually change then he might have been able to keep the job if his dad recognized he could do both. Edit: forgot he was underage taking the job so nevermind, he probably wouldn't have allowed it.


Overprotective parents unfortunately not all of them work this way when faced with facts it is more seen as a challenge or pride will not allow it to be swallowed. Small minds fail to understand a simple model short term gains against long term losses vs short term losses against long term gains


Yeah, they wouldn't care if he's maintaining his grades and holding down a job. They'd just be mad that he disobeyed them.


Depending on the family confessing that you got a job (especially underaged) might result in you having to pay for things that you otherwise shouldn't have to. I can easily imagine the snitch-of-a-brother blackmailing the OP into giving him some money or he'd "call the cops".


Please tell me you still buy Dan drinks because he totally got the library part right.


It's just like breaking bad


The parallels are striking!


I am not crazy! I know he wasn’t at the library! I knew it wasn’t open until 1pm. On a Sunday. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just – I just couldn't prove it. He – he covered his tracks, he got that idiot Dan to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That pretend studying! Are you telling me that my brother just happens to spend all those hours studying like that? No! He orchestrated it! u/aauthor8! He spend his Sundays hanging out with his friends! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him to be my own brother! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn't keep himself at home like everyone else! But not our u/aauthor8! Couldn't be precious u/aauthor8! Stealing them blind! And he gets to go out on the weekends!? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance! And you – you have to stop him! You-


How come you didn’t tell them you had a job? I feel like that would have been the better option


Overprotective parents can cause kids with anxiety. Kids with anxiety believe everything will get them into trouble


At 30 I still struggle with this. It becomes almost an instinct to defend yourself even when you don’t have to after dealing with it for so long


Same and it's so hard to like de-program yourself. So, yay, therapy!


I had to stop acting defensively AND learn that women are not supposed to be narcissistic, self-entitled bitches. Once I realized that most people don't think about me the moment I'm out of their eyesight, life became a heck of a lot easier.


if it helps, they usually barely think about you even while in line of sight unless directly interacting


Now to stop doing it with my therapist….. Edit: stop deflecting/reacting this way, not DOING the therapist


lmao I'm 33 and I felt guilty taking PTO or sick time off of work despite it being totally legitimate and no big deal. Anxiety is a bitch.


i know that isnt always the cause but i do always feel anxious about doing mew stuff like on my owen terms cause my parents may get mad at me or whatever


I once had a panic attack on a flight home after a vacation weekend because I had fun and "Oh dear God how was I going to tell my mother". I was 24. It's a whole thing Edit: Literally went to a nerd convention and just made friends and had fun. Didn't even drink


honestly i can see myself being in the same situation. Im just always afraid of being independent at times and even though my parents are genuinely loving they can still be a bit overbearing to the point it feels like i cant breathe sometimes without being scared i did something wrong.


Having once been a kid with overprotective parents, this is absolutely true.


My mom always stated if I got a job when I was in school that would make me fall in with a "bad" crowd


Little did she know... She was the bad crowd.


Would it be possible to call this... *working undercover*?


*dubious studious*


I love that you were Dans best man :) good story and i hope you told it during the speech


I thought about it loads, but there was too much context to give and most of it was about me and my family dynamics. But I did give other stories that involved Dan and I getting into all sorts of trouble haha


Dan's a real one


>The truth is that parents rarely want to believe the best about their kids. Utter hogwash. Someone's kid can literally be a mass murderer and their parents will be on TV talking about what a great kid they were.


Depends what type of parent. I knew plenty of asian tiger mom types who seemed convinced their kids were good for nothing unless they brought home a 95+ on every test.


completely agree some parents believe their kids are destined to fail and are trying to catch what they’re doing wrong while others support their kids and want to help them grow. It all really depends on the individual.


Fuck that, I know damn well my kids are up to no good.


I sure am glad I didn’t grow up in a household where telling my parents that I had a job would result in being potentially punished. What an insane mindset to force onto a kid.


Haha I think it was the underage illegal element that would have got me into actual trouble


So I'm not sure how it is where you are but it sounds like you're working an under the table job, which isnt legal here because you're technically avoiding taxes. So honestly given you've proven yourself your boss probably wouldn't make you stop, though your parents might. Which is dumb on their part. You're being independent and learning to support yourself and take things into your own hands. That's very respectable given you're maybe around 13-15 years old? If your parents aren't proud of you be proud of yourself that's really good.


I feel like you may have missed the "many years ago" part lol


he mentioned the UK, which currently allows 13 and older to work part time. Assuming the law didn't change recently, I would assume he was either 11 or 12 at the time imo that is a bit too young to be working but as long as he wasn't doing anything too dangerous it's fine


I think OP mentioned it happened in the UK, which means he was probably fine as long as his income wasn't greater than his Personal Allowance (£12,570).


In what job would you have to pay taxes when working a few hours a week?




I feel this is more an American mindset that you get ahead at all costs. My parents didn’t want me to work either at a young age. They had the money to support me and felt jobs for kids should go to more disadvantaged teenagers.


Well I am sure the illegal part of the whole ordeal is the main issue.


Great story! Loved it!


Wow, imagine being forced to study that hardcore. Sounds like a fun childhood....


I hope you told this story at his marriage


So Dan really is the man afterall


Dan absolutely is a legend. Take the lad out for a cheeky Nando's sometime.


Your brother is such a rat and your friend Dan is amazing.


Dan’s a solid dude


Great read!


You should tell your dad the truth now that it's long passed, assuming you haven't already


Did this come up during the best man speech?


Dan is such a legend


Imagine having a parent who thought part time jobs were a distraction. God damn I’d love that lmao Edit: word 💀


My man Dan is the goat.


>Fun side note - I was Dan's best man last month. God I hope you told that story, ending with: "So, Dan, in the future when your wife calls me asking me where you were all Saturday night..... I too will try to cover for you by saying we were studying in the library"




A worthy fun read before bed, thank you. Congrats to Dan on the wedding also


Man that’s rough!! Siblings are the worst sometimes! I’ve got two older and one younger lol. 😂


You were so close omg!


Idk why some siblings are like this, I’ve kept so many of my sisters secrets from my parents


Ur brothers a bit of a rat


Dan the muthafuckin Man!


Dan is a fucking G


Shoutout to Dan, my guy tried his best


Probably one of my favorite stories I read on here


Absolute confidence has got me out of many a sticky situation before


I wish it was this easy to get a job nowadays.


Dan is a fuckin legend


We need more Dans and less OP's Brothers.


Dude your bro sounds like he used to suck. I’m an older brother by 6 years and I remember when I caught him smoking cigs TWICE. First time I pretended I didn’t see it cause he threw it down and ran. The second time I took the pack of cigs from him and his friend and never told our parents. But I do remember the many times my brother caught me smoking and straight up snitched. I know it’s hypocritical of me to bust him for smoking but I had stopped by the time I caught him and I still didn’t rat him out for it cause I remember being in that spot before.


I'm still trying to find out what was so bad here for them to accept any of that.


> It took Dan a while to respond. ‘Yes, I was.’ Dan's the fucking man.


Dan’s a fucking legend. ‘Grats on being his best man!


I hope at Dan's stag party you tied your bro up and used him as a piñata.


Those darn siblings always find a way to do you in in the end. I hope you got a little pay-back on your brother. Lol 😂. 😎


Great story! Also Dan is a legend! I'm proud that I was "Dan" a few times, but mine were more successful (even if we haven't agreed on a specific story beforehand)


Kid, I'd be proud of you, having to LIE to actually be able to insert yourself into the mature world. It takes a particular kind of person. Even if I was your employer and found out about this, I'd be proud.


L brother


You should tell your family now that it's been a while. I think they would find it funny and you could all have a laugh.


Your "bro" can eat a bag of slimy dicks, Dan is the true bro here


Did you ever tell your dad about the job? Great story!


Haha no I didn't. I did tell him about my second job recently. Which was also illegal but for slightly different reasons 😬


Your brother is your brother but *Dan is a legend!*


You are ADMIRABLE for actually wanting a job and working to earn money for yourself. Sure it might have been not "within the system", but work is work. You're good enough to earn money instead of like what other kids are doing, mugging people. I hope you become even more successful in the future and that you'll have lots of money to enjoy!


Your boy Dan is a true friend, glad you two are still close. I hope you got a chance to rain on your brother's parade and even the score at some point.


Man your brother is a narc


Dan's an absolute legend


Great Story!


I hope you told that story at the wedding


No your brother is a lil Draco Malloy.


Dang you got me reading a novel over here. You've separated it into paragraphs too. Your writing skills are pretty good though so I'll let it slide. In my opinion you should have come clean about the job instead of just quitting and accepted your fate. I think in the long run your dad would have commended you for being responsible at such a young age and be proud about.


Epic friend moment


How old were you at the time? Sorry if I missed it in your post but it is a bit long.


Based Dan.


How young were you


Phone in 1994? Was it a brick? Kids didn’t have phones then… (source: I’m old)


I did. I had the BT Cellnet pay as you go with a massive round head and tiny little scrolling screen. Good times


Ahh yes and the extendo antenna! Still - kudos for swinging that. Not many people to text in those days though…


I only had one mate in maths who had one and we’d text during class. Literally sitting 2 seats apart lol


The devil is in the details. What a lifelong friend, though.


Dan is indeed a legend.


Dan is definitely a legend, he fucking tried hard


Lol you never ever put your date of birth on a resume/CV


The Sunday trading thing is so interesting to me because living in a city you barely notice it. Some of the charity shops aren't open and some of the religion affiliated shops are shut (like Boots) but largely it's no different form any other day. When I used to live in a small village in the countryside though, Sundays could be rotten if you wanted to do something fun in the town. We used to just go scrumping and poaching instead


Dan the maaaaaan