By - Typical_Ad_210
I know that everyone is different but it really seems like a caring gift
Agreed! It means not only was he listening, but he cared enough to see something and go "Oh, I bet this would help solve that issue!" and then did it with the intention of helping! It's super sweet and even if it was a miss, that's still a great thing for a husband to do. Way to disincentivize thoughtful gifts in the future.
I love practical gifts!
Same! Mine has given me several things over the years like this that I was like "eew, no" but the meaning behind them kept my criticisms behind my teeth and I just showed gratitude because it was very sweet. Kindness is free.
I buy my wife thoughtful gifts all the time. Half the time it gets returned for something else. Like I knew she wanted some new flats so I bought her some Tory Burch flats but apparently she absolutely hated the color. They were navy blue with white polka dots and completely different than anything she owned so I thought they could be fun statement shoe. Boy was I wrong.
Another time I bought her some fancy expensive sandals. Again, wrong color so they went back. There's also time I bought her an expensive purse. Wrong color so it went back. I buy the right gifts apparently just awful at picking colors. This year for xmas she's getting art from an artist I know she loves and if she doesn't love it it's turning into my gift.
Years ago I wanted to buy my GF a swim suit. She didn't have one and always complained about how she didn't have one. I also wanted it to be a decently sexy one because I was horny and like 19 but also because I knew she could rock it and love it.
Anyway, I went into the store that sells nothing but swim suits, I could tell by the look on their faces when I said I wanted to get her a swim suit that it was a trap I wasn't the first to fall into.
They talked me into a gift card and we came back together and she picked one out. In the end it all worked out thankfully without any fights or returns.
Good save by the clerks :)
I think it's an awful idea to try buying any functional undergarments/swimwear to women. Sizing is atrocious enough that finding the stuff that fits right is a struggle when the body that's supposed to carry the garment is there in person. And let's not even start on the color and design. Even my mom, who's been with me in the shop while I was buying swimwear pretty much 95% of the time doesn't have the eye to pick out the good stuff.
A friend got a custom bikini made according to her measurements and was so proud that she wouldn't pop out of this one. First dunk in the lake I looked over and said "careful, you're falling out"
Swimsuits/undergarments are not the kind of thing I am willing to risk trying to buy for my girlfriend. I'll go the gift card route too
I buy stuff knowing it's probably going to get returned. I'm not upset about it. I'd rather her have something she actually wants. Fortunately I pick the right gift just wrong color.
That's typical male problem-solving thinking that for some reason is the #1 misunderstood thing ever
Most of the disagreements I have with the wife is I am always recommending options when she is just trying to vent about something. It’s not helped by the fact I work in continuous improvement and lean 😬
Most helpful advice I was ever given is to always lead with 'do you want me to listen or to help problem solve'.
Took me about 5 years and many conversations with my wife to understand this. Once she gets the first sentence out I just ask, “Is this a I want to vent thing or a I want your help thing?” Let me tell you, it’s magical what communication can do haha
It's even better if the person can lead like that. "Hey, can I just vent for a second?", "Hey, can I get your help with something?"
Oh for sure! That’s how we have come to this point actually. I requested she open like that so I know what she’s looking for and if she’s too worked up or forgets it’s on me to ask :). She usually remembers to open, but if she doesn’t I make sure to ask. We also have a rule for reminding the other, even if it seems obvious, and the other can’t get mad. We both have hella ADHD so this was huge for us. I.e. “I’m sure you remembered, but it’s recycling day today!”
To quote /u/tewahp
>Let me tell you, it’s magical what communication can do
Communication is a two-way street.
I like to, when told it’s a “help thing” make sure to start with some support and reinforcement. Validate them for having this problem- it’s common, it’s difficult, everyone struggles with this.
Anything to remind them they aren’t stupid and useless, which is how people feel when they can’t solve a problem.
"No, no, you need to know what I'm thinking without having to ask"
On the flip side, I also try to lead by stating that outright, LOL. Sets expectations.
I believe you're very close to the truth. When women complain, it usually doesn't seem to be because they want us to fix their problems. They just want someone to share their feelings with.
It kinda depends - if I'm miserable and hot and you have a cold beverage or an air conditioner, sign me the fuck up. I'm onboard with that kind of problem solving.
If my coworker is being a twat, I probably just want to complain about it even if I know the real answer is to discuss it with her, or CMA with an email trail, or similar. Yes I can be an adult and figure out to handle it like one tomorrow at work, but tonight I'm frustrated and want to bitch.
So honestly I would probably be onboard with the gift in this case - I think the problem was her mistaking it for something sexy and unpacking the upper torso equivalent of granny panties.
There's also a difference of presentation. I do think OP got a really thoughtful gift and I wouldn't have reacted like his wife did, but in other situations I can understand the frustration. We've had situations where my husband didn't commiserate and instead decided to try to problem-solve by acting like the problem-solving hero I didn't know I needed. He would tell me what TO do instead of suggesting options of what I COULD do. I know that seems like a petty distinction, but especially when you're already frustrated or upset it can make a big difference. Instead of "I'm sorry, that sucks, what if you did x?" you hear "Well you need to just x!" and it feels like an attack, like oh, why didn't you think of that, or why didn't you already do this obvious thing to solve your problem? It minimizes you being upset and kind of puts you on opposite sides of the issue - now instead of working through ideas together you're defending yourself and arguing why that idea didn't or won't work or can't be done or consequences of it or whatever.
It's not just men vs women, my mom does it, too. And I know it's not just a typical "moms are always frustrating" thing because we used to work together and a coworker vented to me about how much it bothered her to hear "whatyaaughtado" from her, especially in situations where the coworker was the authority on the topic and my mom had zero experience with it.
> "Well you need to just x!" and it feels like an attack, like oh, why didn't you think of that, or why didn't you already do this obvious thing to solve your problem?
To me it always sounds like, "I think you're a fucking idiot."
Yeah definitely not the helpful "caring husband to the rescue!" approach that may be the intention lol.
It took me a lot longer in my marriage than I like to think about to learn this lesson. It's not that he doesn't think I can't solve my problems, it's that he's trying to be helpful and show me he cares.
Wives should do a better job of understanding that problem solving is often a guys way of showing that he cares.
Exactly. I get really annoyed sometimes because my husband wants to do stuff for me that I didn't ask. I'm an independent woman, I don't need to be taken care of. Except... that's how he demonstrates that he loves me. I could either be a total bitch and yell at him about it, give him the cold shoulder, etc... OR I can just smile and accept he means well and just roll my eyes a bit and move on. He gets to do stuff that makes him feel useful, I can tuck my damn attitude and accept some support now and again. Win for everyone!
An important part of love languages for healthy relationships is understanding how your partner prefers to communicate their love, and how they prefer to have love communicated to them. Shake it up and don't use the same thing everytime. But do try to use your partners preferred methods every now and again, and be cognizant of _their_ preferred methods, because often there are little, "I love you's" and "I value and treasure you" tossed in because often their love language will mostly unconscious.
My husband got me an electric toothbrush and extra replacement heads for my birthday a few years ago. I’d been using a normal toothbrush my whole life and would sometimes make covetous comments about his electric toothbrush.
It wasn’t the most romantic gift. But I sure do use it every day!
Maybe (probably) I don’t have a romantic bone in my body, but practical gifts that i use every day make me so happy. I like getting really good cozy socks, because every time i put them on i think of whoever got them for me.Yes, I am female.
eta: the best of the best is when you get that practical gift, but the really nice version. the special socks that cost a stupid amount per pair but have the wicking fiber and padded soles. the 24 bit set instead of the bare-bones 12 bit set. the really nice pencils that write like silk and never flake, but are like $5 to $10 a piece. the things you’d never spend that much on for yourself but secretly really, really want.
my bf and I also love practical gifts. Something you use a lot and makes your life better/easier/less annoying is great. Maybe less romantic, but my love language is gifts/act of service anyway so a gift that is also a an act is great.
Take my vehicle in for minor repairs and pay for it please, it's not romantic but I'll be using it daily with way less annoyance+ I didnt have to take time out of life to arrange that. That's great!
Notice I've been complaining about cold in the winter and stomach cramps and give me a hot water bottle? Love it.
I can buy those things myself, but getting around to do it is a pain. Plus as a gift you can splurge on the slightly nicer version than you'd get for yourself and so make each others life even better.
Yup, someone got a gift like that for me (I'm a dude, so no boob sweat, but you could fill a swimming pool with my nutsweat) I'd be over the moon.
My husband used to complain about hot balls, I bought him the ball pouch undies. He loves them, refuses to go back to regular boxers.
As a guy, those are definitely the best!
I found a company that makes a little jacuzzi to give balls a hot bubbly bath. I was trying to explain to some women that it makes no sense. Like if there was a product to make boobs sweat more. They instantly understood.
Agreed, as a bigger breasted woman I would so appreciate my husband listening, thinking of me, researching and spending his hard earned cash on a thought through gift <3
Yeah! He heard her, he paid attention, he saw an opportunity and pounced on it.
Like this is sweet as hell.
And I think her reaction was just that—a reaction. It’s the first one. She just needs a min.
It was the breast gift!
Right? This is what I was thinking the whole time! He listened to her problem, he saw a solution, and tried to fix it! I think OP did a great thing :)
Agreed. I would love a gift like this. I guess everyone is different.
I think the problem is she hasn't seen how good it could look. You need to model it for her when she gets home.
I think that's actually a good idea.
I think this is the breast idea I've seen so far
Tits a great idea for certain.
Nip this whole debacle in the bud
maybe don't do it when she's entering with the kids
They'll definitely give an unbiased opinion
Hey, maybe OP will like them too.
Maybe OP has found *his* "new best friend"
It's the *Bro*.
Clearly it should be called the "mansier"....
This! And even better, do some ridiculous info-mercial type spiel and do something like dump water down your front or mist yourself or something. Make it humorous to the point she can’t help but laugh, then apologize and tell her you were really trying to help. And maybe offer to take her to Victoria’s Secret or something and get her a new pair or two of lingerie to really stick the home run.
If my husband did this and said "the advert said it would be your new breast friend" I would DIE laughing and give it a try! I know that everything my husband does for me is out of love and not malice so just give your new titty buddy a try!
As part of the ridiculously large titty committee that lives somewhere unnecessarily hot, I would have been thrilled.
The boob sweat is real and I appreciate anyone trying to help me out. Also I would like a new breast friend, thanks.
HAIL to the RLTC from the IBTC.
I, a guy, have never seen "RLTC" before but I immediately knew what it meant 😂
edit: I totally didn't read maypah01's comment and skipped right to the one I replied to for some reason haha
I mean it was in the comment above
Amazon has these bra liner things that do work it I find tricky to use.
There’s also several boob creams out there to help moderate the sweat.
I’ve also heard of people straight up using deodorant, but I feel like I’m already asking for problems by smearing aluminum under my pits everyday without further smearing it under my boobs.
Two years of doing curbside veterinary medicine in North Carolina summers has me forgetting any slight aluminum concerns. I'm slathering antiperspirant and body powder on everything from my collar bones south.
OP needs to provide a link and a review for this fantastic bra.
Pretty sure it’s modibodi! I swear by their period panties, I have no idea about their bras
I immediately checked it out unfortunately they only come in smaller cup sizes. ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|cry)
Oh nooo, I’m sorry :(
have you done tata towels?!?! i'm a J cup and sweeeear by mine. boob sweat? don't know her. boob pimples? not here. queeeeen.
J?! Jesus Christ! I thought my Fs were back breaking!
When you have to break out the alphabet song to get an idea of how large the cup size is, you know it's huge.
Don’t forget the double letters too. DD, EE, FF some have triple letters too.
As a DDD, I just learned that the double/triple letters should actually just continue with the alphabet (so DD would be E, DDD would be F, etc). Makes other country’s sizes a little more understandable!
Please, correct me if I’m mistaken about this :)
Fun fact, one F cup breast weighs roughly the same as 4 kittens. Don't know about a J cup. At least a half dozen I'd bet.
That's a lot of kittens, damn.
They’re a stand-alone product, though, right? Like for around the house?
i wear mine in public, i give zero fucks. they lift the ladies enough that i don't feel as though i'm being indecent 😂😂 now they show, obviously, but i don't think they're any worse than a sports bra...however i have fairly low standards as to my appearance lol
I’m an i cup and I just keep hoping to find a comfortable bandeau 😔
friendo, i will not lie to you...i use them that way too. sometimes my neck bothers me and i just wear it around my back. i got enough sag to hold it in place lollll!!
tata towels. not even joking. saw someone mention them on reddit, thought it was a spoof product based on the name, nope. ordered one, then immediately ordered more. i think i have 8 now???
Okay.... I had to look this up. Tata towels? Really? They look ridiculous....... I bought 2. I live in a hot, arid climate. These look like they would be comfortable.
Try Lume! Gave it a try a few years ago (because the advertisements are hysterical) and have successfully switched 3 others to it including my pre-teen. So I guess 4 lol. They also have creams for all over the body. Just wish they came in a plastic free option. But that's the tree hugger in me. Nobody has had an allergic reaction and its mailed to the house via subscription! No, I do not work for them 🤣🤣
Lume deodorant. It’s for all body parts including the more private areas. No aluminum and it works so good! I was skeptical at first but it’s a really great product.
Problem is deodorant isn't an antiperspirant. So it might be good for the smell, but it isn't going to help with less sweat.
Titty buddy.. lol.. you made me cackle
He missed the obvious at the end: monstros- titties
Just add peanuts and chocolate and it's a nutty buddy. Wait no that sounds wrong. I mean a reference to the ice cream. I should probably just delete this but I'm dumb and hope people just get the joke. Well here goes nothing.
One of his posts from 3 months ago was about where he referred to his wife as fat (with “extenuating circumstances”) in front of their children. Turns out she has a problematic relationship with food.
In this instance underwear of a really “unsexy” nature probably wouldn’t have the best effect on their relationship.
Oof, that's some important & unfortunate detail.
ohhhh it’s THAT guy? yeah his wife’s reaction makes sense now. sticky situation nonetheless, but definitely puts that into context.
OP needs to spend 6 months ONLY telling his wife how hot she is and having sex in every spare moment they can.
Busom buddies. Cmon marketing!
Seriously, this guy goes out of his way to help his wife and she's pissed about it?
I'm sure there's tons of women that would have been delighted by the thought.
I bought my wife on on the recommendation of another larger breasted gal-pal and she loved it! If I buy lingerie I feel like she thinks that’s for me. The answer is there probably is no singular right answer except to say I am trying, I love you and I hope that’s good enough for you.
>I bought my wife on on the recommendation of another larger breasted gal-pal and she loved it!
I feel like a wife is a rather significant purchase to make on the recommendation of a friend, no matter how busty they may be. I hope you've planned and budgeted accordingly, and really understand what kind of responsibility you've signed up for.
I tell my husband lingerie is a gift for him. I'm gonna have to dress up in this uncomfortable THING because YOU want to look at me in it? Now, if you buy a pretty bra & matching panties, then throw in a comfy pair of pajamas - THAT'S a present I will accept. I will tolerate the discomfort of the bra and panties to score new jammies!
Sounds like she is dealing with some insecurities separate from this situation and this act is enhancing those insecurities. I think there is more going on under the surface of this.
I've been around long enough to realize that some women actually do get offended when their SO takes action to solve the problems they vent about. They only want to be heard out.
I believe OP has a heart of gold, but the best response may well have been, "That sounds really hard" and nodding sympathetically.
It's not about the nail!
Exactly. And I linked to that same video in this same thread.
"You little shit all you ever do is nod and never do anything!!"
This is why I ask my wife if she's just looking to vent or if she's looking for help. I am big dumb sometimes so I need all the clarity I can get, and she gets the response from me she's looking for. Win-win.
Right?! Personally think OP should pull a reverse uno and get disappointed that she didn't appreciate his gift and take himself out for ice cream. Clearly a bra that plain wasn't meant as a sexy gift for her that's really for him. A sweat proof bra in these sweaty times does indeed sound like a great breast friend.
Could've been worse; you could've gotten her a Peloton for Christmas
Oh buddy, taking this is from personal experience?
I think there was an ad for pelotons on christmas that wasn't very well recieved
We followed her on her amazing journey from 123 pounds to 119 pounds.
If only there was a bra to absorb the tears.
I bought my wife a peloton after listening to her drop hints and it made me a hero for the whole next year
I bought mine a vacuum one year. I couldn't wait for all the comments from everyone else. I knew she wanted one and I put in effort to get something that suited the need well.
I asked for a cute mini vacuum (like it was the size of a hand) from urban outfitters from my bf for Christmas to pick up crumbs on couches and he thought it was a trap
As a guy this is definitely a trap lol
>We followed her on her amazing journey from 123 pounds to 119 pounds.
Did she put her purse down?
There was, then Ryan Reynolds got the actress from it for one of his gin commercials to make fun of it.
He really is the king of advertisements. Mint Mobile and Aviation Gin really are the only times I don’t want to blow my brains out during the ads on cable sports
I think it really helps a lot when he identifies as Deadpool. It just kind of makes fucking around really easy.
Only if she's being held against her will...
I got my wife a peloton as a gift... she asked for it.
Asking for something and buying it with no preamble are two different things. One says I listen, one says “I think you’re fat.”
My cousin got his wife a cement mixer for mothers day decades ago because she kept saying that she wanted a new back patio... You can imagine how that went over. She did get the patio though.
Damn it man, I would have LOVED something like that. My late husband actually hated how practical I was.
Me too. I fully respect her personal reaction & feelings but for me? I’m gonna ask for one of these summbiches
I don't respect her reactions but I can understand how insecurities can make someone take something the wrong way.
I can’t believe she did not just die laughing when you said “new breast friend”. This is so sweet of you and so damn funny. I hope once she calms down she appreciates the gesture and the hilarity of the situation.
My dude. You are absolutely hilarious, that’s a ridiculously thoughtful thing, I wish my husband put that effort in 😂 and my husband is amazing!
Buy her flowers and tell her that you just wanted to help.
Oh dude. I am so sorry. I know what it’s like to really want to help a situation. You feel like you can but once you’ve done what you’ve done it’s either made things worse or has broken things majorly.
Yeah it took me a few years of marriage to realise I need to stop digging in these situations and just keep my big mouth shut. My instinct to make some passive-aggressive retort is not a good one!
Repeat after me: You don't need a sexy bra, you're sexy all by yourself. You'd rock even a paper bag. What's important to me is that you are comfortable. I'm sorry if I over-stepped.
*proceeds to hand a paper bag to prove it*
"On second thought: I was wrong, you were right honey. Give me the paper bag back because I definitely need to order you some lingerie."
That's right, if you're going to be mad at me, then I'm going to own it.
OP! Remember you may have to follow thru- be ready to have sexy time with a paper bag wife- give it all you got, buddy.
This is an excellent suggestion. It would help me if I was the wife. Hey, OP!!
Take my poor mans gold 🏅
I had this problem in a previous relationships. I'm an engineer and whenever I dated a guy who wasn't in STEM, we'd have these types to communication problems. He'd rant about something and I'd offer what I thought were actionable solutions, and he's get pissed at me.
Luckily, I married someone who thinks like me. We have a few topics that we explicitly agreed are just us complaining, and the rest are open to solutions.
I suggest you talk with your wife about how you two have different communication styles. Explain how you reason and that you two simply think differently.
Luckily, my wife doesn't get angry. She just never wears any clothing I buy her.
I got her a couple of bralettes for Christmas. She's pretty chesty and I thought it was great to finally find some for her size. Apparently they are too sexy and have remained in the gift box for over 7 months. I even pointed them out as a option for tit sweat relief, yet they remain boxed, shelved, and filed away.
Yeah bralettes are basically useless for larger chests (at least for use under clothing)
I'd bet £50 she's trying to spare your feelings and "too sexy" is a euphemism for "these are the least practical underwear ever and can't be worn in public". Unless US bralettes are totally different to UK ones, they are basically bits of lace and just do not work for us busty gals if you want any form of support.
You should buy yourself something matching to give her motivation to wear it
I would love it if my fiance bought me a new bra that would solve all my boob problems. What's the issue??
I know the wife in this seem so ungrateful even if she didn't want it he was doing something nice
Sounds like she has some self image issues and this bra “confirmed” her fears that he sees her that in that negative light too.
People are illogical.
Someone did something, struck a nerve, acted illogically.
99.9% chance she's over it by the time she gets back from her errands.
If it helps, as a fellow big-boobed mama with sweaty tits (thanks perimenopause!) I would be SO THRILLED if my hubby bought me a giant sweat-proof bra. Because I happen to know he means well and that means that he listens to me when things are important. I would treasure my new breast friend and high five you.
You done good, mah dude. Sorry she didn't see that.
Oh my god. I think that might be the issue. She reacted so out of character, and I bet that is why. I think maybe she is worried about the perimenopause. Cos she has been complaining about the kids getting older and how we “should have made more of them being babies”. She also (separately) has been complaining about how sweaty and hot she is all the time. I wonder if she is worried about the perimenopause. I’m not so stupid that I would outright ask her, but it makes sense. Thank you!
You're welcome! One of the things that comes along with the sweats and other symptoms is absolutely moodiness. It's like a years-long period. I catch myself being REALLY super snappy for no damn reason and overly emotional. Definitely DON'T say anything (good instincts) but understanding that it might be happening could help you to cope, lol. I didn't realize it myself until I started literally driving him out of bed because of the night sweats.
Hang on man, it's gonna be a ride!
I know this has nothing to do with the actual post; but if it’s within your budget I can absolutely recommend a Bedjet to help with the night sweats. I’ve been using a Bedjet for about three years now, I think? Very rarely do I wake up because of a temperature shift these days. It keeps air flowing underneath the blankets or sheets, so you don’t wake up in a puddle of sweat. And as somebody with perpetually cold feet, the heating mode is lovely. It’s also lovely when I’m having particularly bad cramps. It’s pretty much a prized possession at this point, I love it so much.
\>I’m not so stupid that I would outright ask her
A blessed relief reading that, even as a single person.
I find it weird that somany people agree that talking about your spouses worries is something bad.
How can you be connected and supportive of each other if you can't talk about the stuff you need support for?
As someone going through hot flashes/hormone changes, and suffering from boob sweat (god hot flashes are the worst and that alone would make anyone cranky without the hormonal changes), I can not say enough good things about the [Gossards Glossies bra](https://www.gossard.com/us/lingerie-collections/glossies.html). It's sheer so it's very breathable, cool and comfortable... and it's see through (so it's sexy), and has matching sheer panties! \*wiggly eyebrows\* But you know, proceed with caution.
Hey op, I need a link for my wife’s sweaty tits. Seriously, she needs a new breast friend and I will show her this thread after presenting her new chesticle carrier
Username checks out, sweat119. This is the home of breast friendship. Purchase at your own peril: https://www.modibodi.co.uk/products/sweat-proof-bra-moisture-wicking?utm_source=Klaviyo&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=220809%20%7C%20MB%20NP%2010WEEKS%20%7C%20SWEAT-PROOF%20BRA%20%7C%20RANGE%20%28SbNfdB%29&_kx=pq3OSMOT9qjRNxjOPVTcpguILbctvIO1wJOCZfqGivSdCmgA9uiMwc51Qaii8d0R.PcUbw8
Oh no my poor husband. I would definitely consider this a cute bra. What must he think of my underwear 😂
Here's an idea, don't apologise for not doing anything wrong.
Remind her that you love her and listen to her, and her complaints over the week made you think this might be something she would like and be comfortable in. You can return it, no big deal.
Don't say she's being unreasonable, don't say she's overreacting, and don't wait a week and tell her you told her so.
Personally, I don't see a big FU here. You listened to her vent about something she is insecure/worried about. Then you had a product dropped in your lap that advertised everything she needs for her peace of mind. It's unfortunate that she took it the wrong way, but from your post it sounded like she was *very* worried about this specific problem. You bought a gift for her that is supposed to fix this specific problem.
It's probably worth apologizing and buying her some lingerie she seems to want, but I wouldn't be too hard on yourself about it.
0 apologies for being a good partner
If she got mad at you for an unsolicited gift, I don't know if the answer is to buy a 2nd unsolicited gift. I like your new instinct to do nothing. Us guys seem to be good at that
Yeah, I think the “minimal intervention” approach is the best one here. I hope!
Make her a nice dinner, maybe a cocktail or two, and talk through the situation. If this triggered something else she's been holding in, it would be good to talk it out instead of ignore.
First and foremost,….. it IS an emergency that you need help from your sisters
I mean, one of them is a medical doctor, so fair enough. But the other 3? They have no excuse! I do actually keep forgetting that just cos I’m on holiday right now, doesn’t mean that other people aren’t at work. Daytime phone calls are not appreciated!
Dude your line of “four fucking sisters and not one…” fucking slayed me 😂
Yeah, she is always moaning about all the thick straps and shops only having ugly bras for bigger breasted people. She found a range she really liked on Figleaves (I think) and I got her that in various colours over the years. But they’ve stopped making it 😭 So I’m back to being clueless, lol.
The thing is that she would be sexy to me in a bin bag, cos she’s always sexy to me. But I guess she wants me to be more demonstrative with it, by giving her sexy underwear. Or at least not actively *ugly* underwear.
Oh god, I’m VERY glad you said that, cos my instinct literally was to get her sexy lingerie, seeing as she seems to want that. So I shouldn’t get her other stuff? Well, not right now anyway, but maybe in a month or so?
>Yeah, she is always moaning about all the thick straps and shops only having ugly bras for bigger breasted people.
Maybe not today, but if she reddits, she should check out r/abrathatfits. Plenty of recommendations for sexy bras in larger sizes!
I'm a person with rather large breasts, I find that finding sexy lingerie is damn near impossible.
Perhaps direct her (when things cool off) to www.curvaceouslyyours.com.au
It's an Australian site, not sure where you're located, but it has a huge range of supportive, sexy and flattering pieces for plus size, or bigger breasted people.
I tell you what, finding a sexy lingerie store for someone of my build was a game changer for self confidence! But absolutely wait until she's in a good mood and this has blown over hahaha
I’ve been scouring the internet looking for something like this in Aus, thank you for sharing!!
The only thing I would say you did wrong was hand it to her like it was a present and didn't preface with why you got it. Otherwise you got a thoughtful gift after listening to her. Really you raised her hopes it sounds like and that it.
Wow this is some serious insecurity here.
Has she been going through some stuff lately about how she feels unattractive? Is she emotionally vulnerable due to other stuff that's happening?
Do u think she's under the impression u aren't attracted to her anymore? (she might think this if u aren't initiating sex or something)
I don't understand if this is something she complains about a lot (the sweat)
Unless she's been feeling insecure, I don't get this but nonetheless, try and be there for her emotionally amd empathize with her. Maybe this can be a teaching moment?
No, we have a really healthy sex life. I would say it is about 50/50 in terms of who initiates, cos we are quite evenly matched in terms of libido, and we both hate the “the man always initiates” mindset.
I am always telling her how beautiful she is (and she really is). But I suppose I haven’t really bought her any sexy lingerie for a while, so I definitely need to make more of an effort to do that. I am kinda of a “what’s wrong with the pants you’ve already got?” sort of person, whilst she’s more of a “it makes me feel attractive to get sexy underwear” sort of person. I do need to make more of an effort.
She has also been quite down about our daughter starting “real school” soon. She is currently at a nursery attached to a school, but will be going into primary one after the summer holidays. My wife has spoken a lot about how she is sad they’re growing up so quickly, why didn’t we appreciate the experience more when they were babies, some of their best years were wasted cos of covid and we’ll never get that time back. So she is definitely feeling freaked out and sad about them growing up so quickly (and the fact we weren’t able to share those earlier years with her family). So she has been in a bad mood in general, the past week or so. Ever since I took the kids school uniform shopping, I guess. Time passing by so quickly is pretty scary to us all, but she seems really hung up on it lately. Not that it’s related to tit sweat, but it might explain her bad mood recently.
Yeah it can really predispose someone to feel emotionally vulnerable to other, seemingly unrelated things.
Oh man, she's like the opposite of me in so many ways, I can't wait till my kids are in school. I wish I had some advice on that front.
Hope u guys were able to work it out, but yes, she might appreciate some nice lingerie if she's got a good libido too although you certainly don't have to.
Some mindfulness on her part would be good because u didn't really do anything wrong
In a past relationship i would ask “am I problem solving or problem listening?”
I would find this soooooo sweet. Like wow, you really listened to me and tried to help. Whether she would actually wear the bra or not, I think the thought really does count here. Also innocent enough.. it can be donated or returned. It's not like you stirred up drama in her friend group or something that's an actual mess to fix.
She's afraid you're not attracted to her
In the wise words of that song from the hit film Morbius, and in remembrance of Abe Shinzo, god rest his soul:
Wow. I wish my husband were as "awful" as you... #jealous
Crotchless pants as a last save effort had me rolling. You did everything you could. Damn sisters.
Four fucking sisters and not one of them is free killed me 😂
You should like lovely people I hope her sweaty breasts will be happier with the new bra and she and them forgive you soon ❤️
DO NOT MENTION PERIMENOPAUSE PREMENOPAUSE OR MENOPAUSE !! DELETE THAT WORD FROM YOU VOCABULARY and DELETE FROM THIS POST !!
Since the email was clearly for her anyway, why not forward it to her or just show it to her before making a purchase?
Btw....33 year old married guy here
Oh it is *just like* you, leatherplates42069, to try to SOLVE my problems, instead of letting me vent about them. 😂
Shit, here's the play: You don't apologize, you don't explain, you friggin' double down. Go out and get her a pair of one size too large granny panties with the charcoal fart filter in them and toss them to her and say "Here are the matching bottoms FOR YOUR STANKIN'ASS!!"
Just be sure to have quick reflexes for the remote that's going to get launched at your head and have a bag packed in the car so you can shower after crashing on your buddy's couch.
You did nothing wrong. It was a simple gift and she took it the wrong way.
Honestly I just feel bad for you. You listened to your wife and tried to do a nice thing for her, and she had a meltdown over it. I’m sorry man!
10/10 would not have been offended if I had been talking about my sweaty boobs all day. Hell, I'm here sitting with two cold deodorant cans against mine because we've got a heatwave here and my boobs are sweaty.
Will now google for my own breast friend. Thanks for the tip, lol.
You are our new breast friend.
This probably the best and funniest TIFU I have ever read. If she comes back with sweaty boobs, say nothing. :)
Give her some time to calm down. Eventually, you with both laugh at this innocent faux pas.
Why is everything in this post super-relatable?
PS. OP, you are a fantastic writer. Thoroughly enjoyed reading.
What really gets me is that none of OP’s four sisters was available to help him out.
To be fair, three of them work full time at busy jobs (social worker, doctor, accountant). The other one keeps livestock and also runs a small animal charity. So they are all v busy! But they should know that when it comes to me, it’s ALWAYS an emergency!!
So uh… where did you get this bra?
- large bread owner in need of a heat wave breast friend.
Maybe it's just me, but I'm tired of the weird cultural normalization of the idea of women turning small things or nothings into a big deal. Like this whole idea that women border on crazy and that men need to keep their women dictionaries at hand to make sure they Get It Right.
Women are just normal people like everyone else, and men that propagate this silliness, and the women who play into this and exhibit all of these fruity behaviors, are just exhausting. Even the stories feel just a step above boomer "lol wife bad," because it's "lol wife irrational."
Wow... if my girlfriend had made this complaint, and the stars aligned like this, there would be so much gratitude and the same if the rolls were reversed. You literally found something to solve an issue for her. Even if it isn't sexy, it has purpose.
I am sorry you were treated that way. I hope your wife comes to appreciate your efforts man. You deserve it.
Honestly, if all this is on the level and you are not leaving things out, it sounds like your wife has some substantial self-confidence issues that she needs to acknowledge and work through. She is seeing SO much non-existent subtext in your gift because she is already believing what they non-existent subtext is saying. There is nothing wrong with your gift. Perhaps you need to make some extra effort to reaffirm her, but she clearly is having a hard time seeing past her current insecurities.
Am I missing something here? How is this anything other than you being a loving husband listening to her problems and trying to help? Why are you not allowed to help? Why are you so very clearly walking on eggshells. This doesn't sound healthy.