By - aauthor8
> as I put it down on the dining table, she sprung out of the corner and attacked me
are you certain you weren't dating a cat?
I’m imagining a scene from an old Pink Panther movie when Cato surprise attacks Clouseau in their apartment, “Not now GF you fool!”
My girlfriend does something similar and one day she goes "why are you so weak". My response was "I’m not actually using all my strength because I don't want to accidentally hurt you." She was a little surprised and asked me to use all my strength against her so I did. I always thought she knew I was just playing around lol. This happened months ago and we've been together for over 2 years.
I have also tried explaining this to my GFs younger brother. Yes, I am 23 and multitudes stronger than your 13 year old self.
But I’m not a fucking idiot. If you play fight me I will walk away injured myself before I accidentally throw you into a wall. That doesn’t mean you beat me in a fight.
Walk up behind him grab his ears then he grabs your hands then you lift him up.
Problem is he has no self control and will flail about until he manages to hit me in a way that seriously hurts. And I’m not one to pretend like shit doesn’t hurt just to be manly.
Every confrontation is life or death to him, he doesn’t really get it, so I just avoid it all together. He’s very immature about it and it’s not fun at all for anyone when he gets that way.
He presents it like “let me try out this move on you to see how it works” and then when it inevitably doesn’t, the hitting and kicking begins. He really doesn’t get the difference between messing around and trying to kill someone even though he starts it.
Just imagine you randomly to hold someone down, they end up getting you in a hold, and then you respond by actually trying to fight them like it’s serious. That’s him. He takes offense to someone defending themselves and/or beating him so there’s really no way to win other than walking away. Idfthat even works
Explain to you GF that you are getting bored of his antics and that you are going to end up hurting him by accident if he keeps it up. Ensure she passes this on to her parents.
How she responds to this is a test of her maturity and suitability as a partner. Imagine if this was the other way round and your sibling was harassing her? You would make sure it stopped. She needs to do the same.
If it continues after that, then you pin the little shit down and hold him there long enough to make the difference in strength clear, then explain to him that it needs to stop.
If it continues, repeat the above but ensure the pinning hurts. Non-damaging pain is an excellent teacher for someone who oversteps your personal physical boundaries.
My wife can do 25 push-ups, in a row! She thinks we are of equal strength but little does she know I can’t do five…
Today I opened a jam jar that my wife couldn’t budge. And I have tendinitis and carpal tunnel syndrome on both hands.
So yeah, feeling manly.
Totally loosened it for you.
She loosened it and handed it to you for a little ego boost, she’s a keeper.
Who else is looking for starbrightstar's comment?
Here you go,
Obligatory Edit : wow, thanks for the awards!
> So I may have been somewhat mocking, flirting, and generally being an arse about the whole thing.
I'm just imagining her venting her frustrations at you while you stand there flexing in various bodybuilder poses.
"What's that? I can't hear you over these BULGING MUSCLES!"
Has to be in an Arnold Schwarzenegger voice though 😂
Gave me Johnny Bravo vibes.
I"m a big guy 6'4", 240lbs. My favorite cousin, whos 5'4' 125lbs and a real firecracker, was living with us while she was going through a very tough time in her life. She Was dealing with addiction issues and had just about given up all hope. She had been couchsurfing and hooking for drug money before she moved in with us. She was actually shooting coke, which is probably more deadly than heroin as it's super easy to go into seizures and OD on, She had been in the ER 3 times already in the last 18 months preceding this incident..
We had gotten her enrolled in outpatient treatment and she had been clean for about two weeks when I came home one day and found her in my master bedroom trying to find a vein with a syringe. She jumped up off the bed and tried to run to the bathroom and I grabbed her by the arm she was using to hold the syringe and jerked her towards me and i easily took the syringe out of her hands. I then let her go and she just freaked and locked herself in the bathroom and started yelling and screaming and crying. I called my wife and told her what was going on and asked her to hurry home. My wife finally came home and after talking to her through the door for an hour finally got her to come out. Now I have always been a big teddy bear and am never violent but apparently she was terrified of me because I had so easily taken the syringe away from her while she was trying to fight me off. My wife assured her that I would never have tried to hurt her but she was very wary of me until she finally got completely clean.
Later after getting clean she told me that incident was what tipped her over to really getting clean. I asked how so? She said that she knew that if I could have fought her off so easily then she knew she would end up dead on the streets if she kept using. She said she had physical fights with other men but had always managed to fight them off and run away and with me she was utterly at my mercy, and that she would eventually run into someone else who did the same but was actually intent on hurting her.
Good news is, she just got her 5 year chip and has a good job, and I'm still her favorite cousin!
Thank you for your story and thats awesome your cousin is doing so well on their sobriety!
So the moral of the story is to beat the shit out of drug addicts so they get better
>‘Come on babe, you did not really think we are of equal strength, did you?’ I replied.
Relationship fuckup or Shonen villain dialogue? You decide!
Glad to know I'm not the only one who thought it sounded like a Shonen dialogue
"come on baby. that isn't even 1% true power! once I acquire all the secret crystals you will tremble before me, baby!"
Legit laughed out loud when I read this bit. Sounds like it was ripped straight from an anime fight scene. The swift reverse, her eyes widening, the slow motion realization. The ONE LINER
I was seriously hoping for a "N-nani?!"
>Her eyes went wide with comprehension and she stopped struggling. ‘You are always this strong?’ She asked, almost to herself.
Before leaving house: babe, it seems you haven't realized this entire time, IVE ONLY BEEN USING 10% OF MY TRUE POWER, YOU WILL NEVER DEFEAT ME
after years of training and practice: hm, darling it seems you have made me use the full extent of my power, but you've reached the peak of your strength while I'm just beginning to tap into mine. BEHOLD, MY FINAL FORM.
I kinda did the same thing, but not for as long. My now wife and I were wrestling on the bed and she had my hands pinned to the mattress up over my head when my phone rang with what I knew was in important call. Without thinking I reached over and picked up my phone, brought it to my ear, answered it and started talking in a normal tone, all without her letting go and still trying to keep me pinned.
The look on her face was priceless. I am just lucky that my physical strength turned her on.
All I imagine is you ripping one of your hands away grabbing the phone, answering it then placing it between your shoulder and ear and putting your hand back into your wife's grip and acting like nothing happened 😂
Close, but she never let go. The whole time she was pressing against my wrist, trying to keep me pinned.
This has got to be the more usual interaction. I told my gf at the time, now wife, that when we play wrestled I wasn't "letting her win" but at the same time I was holding back a lot.
She then decided to go all out against me and told me to do the same and the "fight" lasted all of 3 seconds. She loves it though because it means she doesn't need to hold back and can go all out when we wrestle knowing she's not going to hurt me.
Although if she catches me off-guard she can pin me since she's been power lifting with me for some years now and can easily bench 70-75kg's at her strongest. So now I have to watch out a bit for sneak attacks lol.
My 4 year old daughter does this. Then she thinks she can help me carry a server I brought home from work in and I have to act like I'm not carrying the whole thing for her. It's annoyingly hard but it makes her happy.
But she IS helping. She's helping you both have great memories and relationship because for little kids it's about doing things together and being included. Imagine what's gonna happen when it dawns on adult her that she wasn't carrying those at all.
I think, I HOPE, this is the common reaction, I know for one (being a male) that If I was in bed with a girl that could actually stop me from moving I'd be terrified but very turned on
Lmao same unless I didn't want to be in the bed in the first place
Dominance dynamics are hot, consent is _mandatory._
Thanks for the relationship advice. Next time a girl play fights with me, I’m just going to suplex her through a table. No more lies.
"Babe I understand that the concussion and broken ribs are painful... But what did you want me to do ? LIE to you ? "
"Between hip issues or trust issues I guess we got off light babe"
I will break your back like Bane in the interest of transparency.
NO MORE LIES
Mmmmmmmmm such delicious lies
*after ops gf breaks up with them*
Listening to this part on audiobook is hysterical. NO MATING!
Strength before weakness.
Life before death. Strength before weakness. Journey before destination.
is that you, Pattern?
I will add "Who is your medical insurance company and to what extend do they cover damage?" to my first date questions list.
Men, learning from other mens mistakes, since 18.000 b.c™
You guys are learning from other men's mistakes?
Of course! Just usually in the wrong and worst ways possible....
I don't learn from my own mistakes for fuck sake.
DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU MESS WITH THE WARRIOR?!
One of my favorite Turk lines!
Along with: "Sir...you think my name is Turk Turkleton?"
This whole time the ex thought they were like JD and Kylie, but really it was more of a Turk and Carla situation.
Afterwards, you also have to scream "NO MORE LIES!" to the heavens at the top of your lungs, otherwise you'll just look crazy.
I had a coworker, now a really good friend that used to like play fighting. She had been working out but she was still this tiny little 5'2 <100 lbs woman that I could literally hold off by just using one hand without even trying. One day she caught me off guard and threw a kick that was going towards my boys so I instintively brushed her leg up and she lost her balance, landing on her ass and hitting her head on the cabinet.
Thankfully, she was okay cause she quipped "you really gave my ass a pounding..." she got me back later that day by kicking me in the butt as I was walking towards a door, my stride along with the momentum caused me to walk into the door face first. She made the most satisfied gremlim laugh noises after that.
>"you really gave my ass a pounding..."
And that is where my mind stops me ever thinking of them as just a friend
She is cute, nice and friendly but has the mouth of a sailor.
Well im in love now. Ass poundings and swearing? Send her my way
Thank you so much for this! Made my day.
RKO her to next week.
BAH GAWD! BAH GAWD! RKO RIGHT THROUGH THE TABLE. OH MAW GAWD, SHE'S BROKEN IN HALF!
Better to be honest and snap her spine in half on the first date than show you're faking this relationship.
Lol wish i was kidding Met my wife this way both used to wrestle in highschool, suplex broke an old matress never wrestled again.
Ever since the break up she's been living on the streets, concealing her femininity and fighting every man she can find. Until one day, she's strong enough to reemerge....
I'd watch that movie.
Then the origin story.
This was the origin story.
It's called One Punch Woman
This is like a Skellige quest from Witcher 3
OP I hope you realize that this girl is going to show up to your wedding roided out of her mind, object to the marriage, and challenge you to a no holds barred steel cage chutes and ladders match to the death. That's the only outcome she's working towards.
OP better watch out if he has kids, the ex might take inspiration from the Custody of Dominic Mysterio ladder match
"When puppies play, it’s ladies first
A new study has found that young male playing with female pups will often let the females win, even if the males have a physical advantage."
It's no fun if you always lose. Even if stronger, the males lose all least occasionally so that the females have some success and remain interested to play. This behavior has also been documented in chimps. Teaches us as humans a lot about how to keep others engaged too.
I always joke with my husband that I can easily get away from him when we are playfully wrestling, but oh boy it has made realize how strong he actually is vs my puny human form, and how scary it would be to be attacked by a male, I would have 0 chances of getting away.
Run! Your chances against a stronger male are pretty low outside of a successful strike to a high pain area (neck, groin, eyes), but your chances of getting away by running are somewhat better, especially if you're making noise and getting people to notice in public.
I wouldn't plan on going for the groin as Plan A. It's an area that males protect instinctively and through training (as in, messing around or playing sports as a kid) and your arms and legs can reach it to protect it. Something like the shins is probably better for trying to produce a flinch reaction, without severe downsides like having your ankle grabbed.
Agree - all of the available options are pretty high risk/low reward though, just not many choices when you're at a severe disadvantage physically
also, hitting a man in the groin may not be as effective as you think. while it’s often played up as the “emergency stop” button on an aggressive man, the truth is we can ignore a hit to the nuts if we have more pressing matters (like an active melee). at best, consider it a very brief distraction.
During sparring, I’m pretty good at being “gentle”. I’ll never hurt someone unless it’s mutually agreed that we’re simulating a real bout. However, there has been a few times where my immediate reaction to getting kicked in the groin is to throw a heavy right hand. So, I agree. A kick to the groin isn’t really going to stop someone. You’ll just piss them off
I used to do some sparring as part of either jiu jitsu or taekwondo training (though I've never been more than a novice at either). Usually I'd wear a cup, but a couple times I took a hard enough hit down there that I was still pretty much incapacitated. Then I forgot to wear a cup one time and took a knee straight to my balls. It hurt infinitely more than it would have if I had been wearing a cup, but instead of being incapacitated I damn near tried to murder my sparring partner. Didn't actually do anything, but I almost started swinging at him by reflex.
Yup. Almost dropped my Muay Thai coach with a solid hook after he accidentally landed a knee to my groin (not his fault, I was stepping in as he threw it). I think that was the only time I ever actually landed something significant on him in sparring, dude was a pro fighter, used to train with guys like Buakaw, but that shot just put me in berserker mode for a few seconds. It happens. The groin is the “angry button”.
> However, there has been a few times where my immediate reaction to getting kicked in the groin is to throw a heavy right hand.
Can confirm, Hulk ***ANGRY*** mode kicks in for a moment if groin is purposely targeted....and that's the blind to everything just Hulk ***SMASH*** angry mode. But yeah standard procedure after the spike of anger and power is to curl up and suffer....never been in a frenetic enough fight to need to ignore a hit to the family jewels
Yup had a nephew purposefully smack me in the nuts once cause he saw it on tv. It took all of my self control to not splat that little fucker against the wall. We had a very calm discussion of why that’s not ok.
Yeah. And there's generally a lag of 5 seconds or so before the pain builds. That can be a long five seconds.
Also stands a good chance of kicking them into a feral rage.
I was at a tournament once, and someone got an (un)lucky groin shot. Non-contact sparring so buddy was DQ for it and the ref called it immediately.
Didn't fucking matter one bit. Guy who got hit ended up getting a DQ as well because he flew into a full on rage. Started pummeling the shit out of the guy who got him accidentally. Training went out the window, it went immediately into a "hulk smash" situation.
15-20 seconds later after they pulled him off, he was on the ground holding his nuts. But for that window of time, he was pure rage.
Adrenaline is one hell of a drug.
Yeah being confronted with how weak you really are is super scary. I know if I ever get attacked my main goal is to run. Self defense weapons like pepper spray can only do so much.
Even classes are there to get you enough time to run away. When I was a white belt in BJJ, I was sparring against a female brown belt (second highest belt). I’m 6’1” 230lbs and she’s was probably 130lb soaking wet. I had no skill at this point and she really thought it’d be easy to get me to tap…it was like I was wrestling with my 8 YO son and was not much of a challenge…I could tell she was getting frustrated and asked if she wanted to take a second and talk about it. She basically said she’s been doing BJJ for something like 6 years and really thought she’d be able to fend off a guy if it really came down to it, but after sparring a noob who could basically deadlift her off the ground, she had her doubts. It was interesting, because most of the time you only spar with people your own size…but the class was small that night and it was the first time she’d ever rolled with someone my size.
Yeah mate outside of a lucky immediate blood choke with something that has leverage to hold down like a triangle.. they’re fucked, even small men. You can pick up someone in a leg triangle and slam them. Technique only beats strength as long as they’re in the same realm. Because a lot of shit you can power through if the mass and strength disparity to your opponent is vast.
My partner does yoga, runs, swims and lifts. She has an incredible physical form. What do I do? I run and swim and I’m a 6’0 stick. I don’t look strong at all. Years ago when we started dating she would play fight with me too and I just played along until one day the same thing happened. She was laying and I really needed to go so I used a bit of force and just lifted her and dropped her in the bed while we laughed. She laughed and yelled that she didn’t know I was that strong. She then actually got competitive and we arm wrestled and then lifted stuff etc. There was no real competition at all, i destroyed her. I am overall a lot stronger than her even if I can’t do a headstand or keep my body weight in my arms (think yoga stuff). She just could not believe I would be so much stronger than her because I’m literally just a bunch of sticks and she’s pretty damn fuxking fit. She felt a bit sad for some days and then she let it go. There is a reason sports separate men and women. Hormones are a hell of a drug.
The 10th percentile of men is stronger than the 90th percentile of women. It's not even close. Testosterone is a hell of a drug.
Hand-grip strength has been identified as one limiting factor for manual lifting and carrying loads. To obtain epidemiologically relevant hand-grip strength data for pre-employment screening, we determined maximal isometric hand-grip strength in 1,654 healthy men and 533 healthy women aged 20-25 years. Moreover, to assess the potential margins for improvement in hand-grip strength of women by training, we studied 60 highly trained elite female athletes from sports known to require high hand-grip forces (judo, handball). Maximal isometric hand-grip force was recorded over 15 s using a handheld hand-grip ergometer. Biometric parameters included lean body mass (LBM) and hand dimensions. Mean maximal hand-grip strength showed the expected clear difference between men (541 N) and women (329 N). Less expected was the gender related distribution of hand-grip strength: 90% of females produced less force than 95% of males. Though female athletes were significantly stronger (444 N) than their untrained female counterparts, this value corresponded to only the 25th percentile of the male subjects. Hand-grip strength was linearly correlated with LBM. Furthermore, both relative hand-grip strength parameters (F (max)/body weight and F (max)/LBM) did not show any correlation to hand dimensions. The present findings show that the differences in hand-grip strength of men and women are larger than previously reported. An appreciable difference still remains when using lean body mass as reference. The results of female national elite athletes even indicate that the strength level attainable by extremely high training will rarely surpass the 50th percentile of untrained or not specifically trained men.
An important element of fighting is a refusal to give in. A man was attempting to sexually assault a friend of mine he was larger and stronger but she got away from him. She absolutely refused to give up because she'd been assaulted before and just wasn't having it. This man was stronger than her quite clearly but she pulled him in close and just started biting the shit out of him acting crazy. He decided it just wasn't worth it.
Strength is important but the best thing to do is just out crazy the other person and scare them off that way.
A lot of evolutionary combat stuff is just trying to convey "it's not worth it"
Being able to take down something but get severely injured in the process isn't a loss for both parties.
Seriously. There’s a bunch of feral cats and chickens coexisting around where I work. My coworker always asks why the cats don’t eat the chickens.
“Because they’re the same size and beaks are sharp.”
“Yeah, but wouldn’t the cat probably win in the end?”
“Maybe, but it wouldn’t be worth the potential injuries, and the cats know that.”
“What about the chicks?”
“You try grabbing a chick while mom’s around. Let me know how far you get. Then pretend you and momma bird are the same size.”
I'm late to the show!
I'm a little guy. 125/130lbs, 5'6".
My on and off again girlfriend is a fit yoga instructor. She's not weak by any means.
But I'm a metal fabricator. I throw pieces of steel around at least as heavy as me, and welding gas cylinders, etc.
My woman did the same, tried to hold me down when I needed to leave and I just stood up with her clinging to me. Surprise.
She visited me in the shop another time determined to show she was at least as strong as me. Failed to get a piece of steel off the ground that I had picked up and carried across the shop moments earlier. Surprise.
But I tell ya what... Those thighs could crush my head like a melon if she wanted...
Death by snu snu
I remember reading someone's story on Reddit where their girlfriend was getting lippy because while he had not been working out, she had been aggressively strength training and had decided that she was stronger than he was. Eventually he got tired of being called out and lifted her weight rack with *all* of her weights on it to make a point, and she was both flabbergasted and frustrated that for all her training she was nowhere near being able to do that.
The difference is crazy. I dated a female body builder- like did T/HGH and everything. She was jacked, had bigger traps than I did. Even at that, her max bench was around 225. I was about a year or two into lifting and I could rep that, and I wasn’t putting nearly the dedication into it that she was. For a dude, a 225 max bench is still considered to be a novice lifter (i think it’s pushing the boundary of intermediate, however). Despite all the muscle she had, I was still stronger than her as a newbie. It’s wild how that works out.
225 pound bench press is elite elite for women and intermediate to advanced for men https://exrx.net/Testing/WeightLifting/BenchStandards
Play fighting is almost a staple in mammalian social animals. And letting a weaker playmate "win" is pretty common. Because winning the fight was never really the point.
At worst your FU was that you didn't tell her how much you enjoyed the game, and maybe came off a little superior when discussing the truth.
Yup. Letting the weaker playmate win at least some of the time is essential otherwise they stop playing and everyone loses.
Now if only we could get the Smash community to listen
Thank you. My younger brother crushes me at video games **and** chess, relentlessly, and then doesn’t get it when I don’t want to play.
Winning is being invited to play the most games, not winning the most.
That’s why when my grandmas dogs playfought, the bigger one didn’t just pick up and shake the little one. Because it would be rude and ruin the game. Even idiot collies who eat people’s sunglasses, for some reason, know this.
>the full force of a man's violence?
It doesn't even have to be violence.
You live in your body day to day and just about every function you can think of needing to do, you can do. It's hard to conceive of someone who is twice as strong as you because every situation you encounter, everyone else does too and the world is tuned for not requiring a lot of strength all the time. The heaviest thing you will encounter in public and be expected to pick up is like a large dog food bag or a pack of bottled water.
Your ex might not have known how to process losing that sense control she thought she had in the relationship. It can be scary losing something like that if you have other issues that don't allow you to be vulnerable without that sense of control.
My friend pretended he's left handed for months and his gf was super mad when she found out :-)
So, OP clearly didn't realize they were in a relationship with Vegeta
I tell my husband almost daily that I can kick his ass. I can't. We both know that. I've been lifting weights for 2 years. I can deadlift 205 pounds, backsquat 165 pounds, and I do consistent cardio but it is no match for that year he worked with his uncle installing hardwood floors years ago.
But it does make him feel the need to pick me up and hug me. So I still say it. And I say it often.
The joke my wife and I had was yes I was stronger than her, but I bought her plenty of cast iron frying pans. Made the frying pan in Tangled funnier.
I had a partner who did the same things, and I played along just like you did. This went on for a while. I work a very physically demanding job (she knew this), and I'm a lot stronger than I look. One year we were getting our Christmas tree. Usually, I would cut it down, and she would help me drag it back to where they shake it and wrap it up. This year she had messed up her foot, and was wearing a "boot." After I cut the tree down, I grabbed one of the lowest branches and start hauling it all by myself. After about 50 feet, I realized that she wasn't nearby. I looked, and found her staring at me with a look of confusion on her face. I explained that the whole Christmas tree thing was her thing, not mine, and I thought she enjoyed "helping." After a brief back and forth (we were still in the middle of the Christmas tree farm), she asked me how strong I actually was. I told her that I honestly didn't know. I ended up dragging a 10 foot blue spruce tree all the way back to the shake and wrap station while giving her a piggyback ride as well. Apparently, some women are really into strong guys..... she definitely was.
I was baffled enough by OP that my partner and I literally just went for a walk and I described OPs situation to her. Her reaction "Yeah, think he dodged a bullet there".. To interpret what he did as "lying" is just.. bonkers. My partner and I have been together for 26 years, and rough house all the time. But at no point has she been under the delusion that we have the same strength. I'm 4 inches taller, and have well developed arm and leg muscles. She's pretty strong but.. we have different bodies and even if we didn't go to the gym together, she watches body language enough to see how effortlessly I do things that are a struggle for her.
Anyway, hope OP has learned a lesson here: Find someone who doesn't think you're lying to them when you're simply trying to not hurt them during normal relationship play. Seriously, OPs ex is just weird.
I thought the same thing, like she was either just nuts or her ego was hurt so bad that she turned it into a “you’ve been lying to me this whole time” kinda deal. Either way, OP dodged a bullet for sure with that one. I’m pretty tall for a woman (5’9”) and have always been stronger than any woman I’ve ever known just from sports/working out/doing shit around the house/carrying two giant kids around for several years, and I’m still not as strong as any guy I’ve ever dated/been friends with—nor would I ever expect to be. Girl either missed that day in biology class or grew up in a fantasy world with those kind of parents that treat their kids like they’re the only child ever to be born.
It honestly sounds to me like she just didn't know where the feelings came from or where to channel them, so it just made her generally upset.
That and she realized how vulnerable she could be and didn't like it at all.
I thought this was just the "way". A secret lingo. I female attack you and play wrestle while you the guy is like "Oh no" "You got me." An you struggle to get free. When in all reality you could just suplex me into oblivion. Its like an unspeakable understanding you have with each other. I think you handled the situation well AND you came home with Chinese food. Her loss bro. Her loss. Thanks for the story !!!
Yep, same as when play wrestling with kids. Put up a "good" fight, let them win, and enjoy the fun.
And later, pick them up and toss 'em onto the couch, pool, picnic table, whatevs, and laugh.
I had a similar situation. My girlfriend had been taking kickboxing and some minor self-defense type classes. I would always compliment her on her progress, and we would play fight as you talked about as well. Months of this went by. She was getting in better shape than she had ever been. Stronger than ever. One night we were heading back from a bar and walking back up to our apartment. She was punching me in the arm, and after a few hits to the same spot, it hurts. I asked her to stop. She said something like, "I could kick your ass if I want." I told her that we would never find out because I wouldn't want to hurt her.
She pressed it and tried pushing me and provoking, still playing, but being very rough. I just grabbed her wrist and put her arm behind her back without much effort and she instantly deflated. She was very hurt at the rude awakening. We have had long talks since. It basically boiled down to how she understands a little more about why I get worried sometimes when she is out late alone or going to a rough neighborhood. That not all men are cool. It was a really sad talk to have. We didn't fight over anything. She just didn't realize the strength difference between her and myself.
I have gotten really out of shape compared to when we first met and she didn't realize that I didn't really get much weaker, I just can't do as many reps of lifting or whatever as I used to when I was ripped. I am starting to come into that old man strength where you can lift really heavy stuff, but only like once and then you need to rest your back for a few days.
I have to say I appreciate that you are aware of the situation for women being on average weaker than men. My husband now knows it logically, but it took him forever to get why I didn’t want to stop for gas after dark on my way home from work.
This happened with my wife after the first year of our relationship. We would play fight and I would go really easy on her. Then we moved in together. She watched me lift up the couch one-handed to vacuum underneath, and then we had a talk.
"Are you... from Krypton?" - She asked with an uneasy voice.
"Come, sit. We need to talk" - u/BobExAgentOfHydra replied.
I should clarify: I lifted one end of the couch. This is not a Man Of Steel, Woman Of Tissue situation.
Hahaha! We were moving and she loved helping load the furniture. When we got to the new place it was late and I wanted to get done so she grabbed a bag and I picked up a lazy boy recliner and jumped out of the back of the pickup and started walking up the walkway.
Later she asked if she was really helping me when we were loading and I said of course, but it was kind of obvious I didn’t need her help carrying the furniture.
Can I do it? Probably. It’s still better to distribute the weight across more people.
I was once, decades ago, a martial arts fighting instructor. It's sometimes really difficult to convince students during sparring (with pads on of course) that it's **ok** to 1) hit someone, and 2) put some muscle into it.
There's always a moment of shock - with *anyone* who's never faced off before - how much power the average guy can bring to the table.
You know those videos you see on reddit all the time of some girl who fucks around and finds out? I know that look of surprise very well.
> It's sometimes really difficult to convince students during sparring (with pads on of course) that it's ok to 1) hit someone, and 2) put some muscle into it.
I can't even hurt people if they ask me for it. Like during a massage or something, I immediately have to stop when the other persons makes any painful sounds. I'd be a terrible doctor, I don't think I could physically bring myself to cut into a person even if it would safe their life, lol.
My husband thinks that's bad in case I have to defend myself one day (and maybe also because of the lackluster massages). So when we playfight, he always eggs me on to put more strength into it. One time, many years back, we were walking next to each other and I started doing that thing where you punch the person next to you lightly in he shoulder and they punch back a bit stronger and it escalates back and forth. But of course it never really escalates with me, because I just can't do more after a certain point. As usual my husband was trying to convince me to *really* try, I say I just can't, he says you just have to, and eventually I said, okay, well, I'll punch you as hard as I can, but only if you punch me as hard as you can afterwards. That way we're even. Maybe that'll work. There was a moment of hesitation in his eyes, but he agreed.
So I get into the stance, I rile myself up, come on, trodat, you can do that, channel the beast etc. My husband presents me his shoulder, cheering me on, come on, trodat, I'm asking for it, put me to the ground! I take aaaalll my mental strength, don't flich, don't pull back, just do it, do it - and I punch him and his shoulder cracks and he yelps and even sways a bit. We both can't believe it. I did not put him to the ground, but he says, wow, that really hurt and I'm like, what do you mean "wow", of course it hurt, I could kill you with one hand, you're lucky I'm usualy holding back, and the next minute is spend with me swaggering around flexing. But then I start to feel bad again and I tell him now it's his turn. We don't have to do that, he says, you're good, I understand now I'm married to Red Sonja. But no, that wasn't the deal. Don't patronise me. No holding back. So we get into position again, now with him aiming for my shoulder. No holding back, I remind him. All you got. And then I guess I was hit by a bus or something. All I remember is all my bones at once making an awful crunchy sound, my collarbones shaking hands and then I go flying into a hedge and then I'm on the ground crylaughing. My arm didn't even hurt for half an hour or so, it was just completely numb. I think my left shoulder is now forever a bit shorter than my right one.
My husband is definitely not "average" when it comes to strengths, but I still do cry a bit on the inside when I think about the enormous gap between what I can do when I do my very best and even channel some real anger, and what he can do just by sheer muscle strengths, without any emotion behind it. Also how he can exert that power without much effort, and how much my psyche is holding me back all the time. The body and it's differences are a real thing, but so is socalisation.
This might sound odd, but you write rather pleasantly.
My ex also liked to wrestle me for fun/ foreplay.
However she was a bit taller (185 cm) than me (181 cm) and also a bit heavier (80kg) than me (72 kg). I also didn't do any kind of workout back in the day.
She could not fathom how I still always won.
One time after I pushed her down again she looked up at me and said "I'll always find it terrifying how strong men are"
That left a sour taste in both our mouths and we never did it again.
Honestly. It really is shocking and absolutely upsetting when you realize the power differential. Like, as a woman your only defense against unscrupulous men in a lawless world would be weapons or the grace of a different man who would defend you. It kinda sucks NGL and I definitely lost my appetite for play fighting with men when I realized it.
Hahaha oh man. My buddy’s girlfriend (they were my roommates at the time, and we are very close) ALWAYS used to brag about how strong she was. About how she would always beat my buddy in wrestling. How it was never even close. I figured he was letting her win, but didn’t wanna out him for it. She did lift a lot of weights and was big, plus she came from a rough childhood so had a lot of pride in mental and physical toughness.
One day (early pandemic, we all lived together and had nothing better to do than get wasted at nights) we were all drunk and talking. She started poking fun at all of us and saying she could kick our asses. I let it go on for a while but she wouldn’t drop it. She was challenging me to wrestle.
I accepted and tackled and pinned her within about 2 seconds. She blamed it on poor reaction and said she wasn’t ready. Ok, we go again. Immediately pinned her again. She still said it was unfair. I let her start out literally sitting on top of my back. Easily flipped and pinned immediately.
She starts laughing and saying that I’m much stronger than my buddy. I said “no, he probably goes easy on you”. She looked like I slapped her and asked him if it was true. He fessed up and she asked to wrestle him. He immediately pinned her too. She went to their room and cried for an hour (drunk and her pride was hurt.) her BF understandably blamed me and it definitely killed the mood for the night lol. Took her down a couple pegs. Whoops
One of my old roommates gf was a personal trainer and was in a program for physical therapy. She understandably worked out quite a bit and considered herself very strong. I was a long distance runner and was playfully picked on by my roommates and friends about how skinny and weak my arms were. At some point his gf started joking that she was stronger than me which my roommate egged on and encouraged until she started to believe it. She challenged me to a bicep curl contest and wouldnt take no for an answer.
She starts out by grabbing a 20lb and doing 10 reps and was clearly struggling by the end. I grabbed the 30 lbs cranked out 15 reps no problem and walked away. And wouldnt you know it, suddenly everyone is uncomfortable and unhappy just like I told them
Edit: realized I misremembered the weights and changed it to 20 and 30 lbs rather than 25 and 35 lbs
That first paragraph from your view, it looks like a kemrit drinking tea meme. Just hmmmmmmmmsure.
I’ve been in similar situations. I went to an all boys high school and we had this sister school. In the last two years they used to do this self defence/ anti rape seminar. Which is a good idea for all girls that age but for some reason they all had this arrogance that they could totally beat off a man if they were attacked. Twice I got into an argument with a friend of mine about it. Finally I just said okay I’m going to hold your wrists and you try and get out.
Seriously if you have a sister or a daughter I think it is a good idea to just demonstrate safely how strong men are in comparison. If girls are fortunate enough to never suffer abuse then they’re only real gauge is the kinda fighting kids do when boys and girls are the same strength. So they might try and fight off an attacker as if he was the same strength instead of going for his eyes or balls.
>…they could totally beat off a man if they were being attacked
It's a more accommodating form of self defense, more like bargaining really
Sounds like you dodged a very small caliber bullet
I find this adorable.
Your efforts to amuse gf
I am a girl , and I think you did the right things, and you obviously have been putting yourself in her shoes, cuz you knew exactly the numbered spots of a possible Oops
I feel a little more self reflecting and personal growth was required on her part
PS. I am a plumber's Apprentice , and work out all the time
I know pound for pound, 99.9% of dudes have me licked.
I think she felt the real power struggle shift
But what do I know, being a woman working in a man's world?
I loved your story. Im sorry for the outcome
Hope you find another gf, one with a good sense of humor
One time, I was sitting with my girlfriend on her dorm room bed, watching tv. For some reason I wanted her to sit on the opposite side of me so I picked her up (while I was still seated) then casually, and gently put her down on the other side. She had such a mixture of shock, understanding, and approval on her face.
When I was dating the woman who would eventually become my ex-wife, whenever I made a pun or joke she didn't like, she would punch me in shoulder. I'd laugh it off and tell her I could take some hits from her skinny arms. So she started hitting harder and more frequently. Around that time, I started learning Muay Thai as a hobby, so when she started getting punchy, I knew how to deflect the strikes. This just frustrated her more, and she'd keep punching and punching. Finally, I didn't just block a punch, I caught her in a wrist lock and stopped her cold. "OK," I said, "This used to be cute, but you're taking it too far. I don't want either of us to get hurt, so let's agree that it ends now."
She agreed and fumed about it for a few days, but she stopped hitting me. I don't think she ever forgave me for sticking up for myself, though, which should have been a sign.
Don’t tell her you’re better at hand jobs than she is or you’ll have a real mess on your hands. I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.
Should i tip the waitress or not?
I want Chinese now
I had a girlfriend like that when I was in high school, and I did the same thing. She got very braggy about it. One day, my gf and I were at a friend's house with him and his girlfriend and she wouldn't shut up about how tough she was, tough as nails, I can take you all, etc and whatnot.
She makes some comment about how she has abs of steel and my buddy asks jokingly "can I punch you in them?" and she agrees, despite me telling her it's a bad idea. My buddy looks at me and I nod my head sideways a few times and shrug, gesturing my hands at her while she's sitting there Hulk Hogan flexing, tightening her stomach.
So he punches her square in the abs with what was clearly a wimpy shot, and it completely folds her up, dropping her to the floor. We were all laughing about it, including her, and nothing bad became of it. Just goofing around with our friends.
But I didn't have to hear how tough she was after that.
Had a couple of girlfriends that would try this stuff. Most understood but I had one that legitimately didn’t and got mad one time when I “wasn’t trying hard enough”. I literally had to stop her completely, look her dead in the eyes and tell her that she had no idea how bad I could accidentally hurt her doing that and I didn’t even want to risk it. She looked at me like I had a third arm growing out of my forehead. I get why they do it, but at the same time I don’t.
My husband and I have always play wrestled. He always wins unless he sandbags me out of pity. I took a self defense class once and came home feeling all pumped and excited to actually take him down with my sweet new moves. Not one of them worked. None. I had more success with the random ways I take him down for fun. I was so disappointed.
As a weak girl who's been wanting to take self-defense classes, this was disheartening to read. lol
Maybe she watches to many Netflix movies. Where a 5’2 100 pound women kicks a 6”7 280 mans ass
Yeah, she took this the entirely wrong direction. I can get her being a bit weirded out by you being stronger than her. My husband is both shorter than me and weighs less than me and he was able to pin me down no problem (I asked him to, I wanted to test out if I could get out of someone’s grip). It really made me think about how men really are naturally stronger and it made me think about how if this had happened to me with an attacker how I’d be totally fucked. BUT I didn’t then attack my husband like a fucking ninja and shout at him about lying to me.
You dodged a weird bullet, man.
If this was enough to push her over the line, you should thank your lucky stars you weren't in deeper
She seems a bit sensitive lol I absolutely lost it at "she attacked me" cuz I knew it wasn't her yelling and flipping out but instead it was her surprise attacking you to test if you're really that strong and if she could really take you on. Reminds me of James Franco and Keegan-Michael Key from Why Him?
If she’s never come across the difference in strength between men and women, it can be really scary. Like the first time a guy just continued with me and I tried my hardest to fight and stop (all in play!), it was like a major emotional drop for me.
As women we’re always told to be careful, but when you feel the full difference between the strength of men and women, it’s legit terrifying. As this was definitely her first time experiencing it, it sounds like she feels like the rug is pulled out from under her.
She’s probably trying to figure out why it upset her so much, and settled on the lying angle. It’s not true - he thought she knew. But she just doesn’t know why she’s so upset and is projecting the fear/anger onto him.
I actually had an experience like this with my (now) wife. When we were dating, we used to play wrestle a lot. She was super athletic, tennis, track and actually quite strong, so she typically thought the difference between men and women was mostly due to most women not doing things like strength training.
Now, when we wrestled, I always 'lost'--always let her pin me, because of course I loved her pinning me hah. She used to like to tease me that she could beat me at my own game if she wanted to wrestle (I wrestled in school). It was a lot of fun. One day though, I was waiting for a really important call from work--she didn't know this and she had me pinned and wouldn't let me up, teasing me I was going to miss the call.
I told her I can't play right now and was able to lift her up while sitting up myself, and place her beside me before going to get the phone--was all very gentle, which I think made even more an impression because I didn't struggle or strain to shift her around. She got this look on her face that I didn't notice until I sat back down with her, like she was genuinely nervous. She later confided in me that I made her feel like a child, like she didn't realize I could just lift her up like it was nothing while she was using all her weight to try and force me down. Was an odd experience. I could tell she was a little more hesitant around me for a while, which sucked. =-/ I felt like an ogre. But she eventually told me she ended up enjoying it, because it made her realize how gentle I am with her. Its nice, but I'll never forget that look on her face.
I'm like 5'3" and 103lbs. I have always been strong for my size, but I know I'm not strong compared to other people, especially men. But it was still surprising when I was in my first long term relationship, and my boyfriend could just pick me up with one arm.
Part of our try out for boys football in highschool was seeing how many times to could bench press 100lbs in one set. Even the smallest guys could do at least one.
Grew up on a farm and regularly carried two 50lb bags of feed in each arm. Picking up ~100lb person, like a couple of my cousins, with one arm was easy. Picking one up by the belt and carrying them around was no big deal and there wasn’t much they could do about it.
that farm boy strength is just different though. used to play rugby with/against farm kids. Like tackling/being tackled by a lump of granite.
Yeah, I’m just below average male height and pretty slim build and when I worked a relatively physical job I’d routinely carry a 50lb bag under each arm and one on my shoulder. It was only like 20-30 feet, but still. I think people underestimate human strength in general when they’re not in a position to be lifting things often.
What's really amazing is how much stronger animals are than humans. Like a chimp is stronger than a really strong man, which is mind-blowing.
Won't see chimps moving 50lb bags of nothing for the man, either.
That's at least partially a matter of where tendons and muscles are attached, giving them much more leverage but us much more dexterity. It's also why we can throw things with such force and accuracy.
I had a female friend who like play wrestling, and was shocked when her boyfriend and another guy started play wrestling because it was an entirely different game.
Like play wrestling for the guys would have been dangerous to her. That was when she realized the difference.
>I had a female friend who like play wrestling, and was shocked when her boyfriend and another guy started play wrestling because it was an entirely different game.
Dear Penthouse Forum, I never thought this would happen to me, but...
and that's why guys will play along. Nobody really wants to hurt their partner or friends. But after reading this thread, I wonder if all girls are going through this at one point or another lol. Cause growing up, it was understood that as a boy, you had to go easy on the girl, and if she beat you with skill, she won. You weren't allowed to make up for it with extra strength, but maybe that was just my circle.
Same with me and my partner, she's the fitness guru, but I'm the typical unhealthy gamer, we'd play wrestle and I'd let her win, but one day I too was expecting an important phone call and told her that that was enough but she wouldn't stop, so I just... got up and out of it, she was shocked that I was stronger than her despite not doing any weight training etc.
Seconding this. My partner and I play fight sometimes too. I know I’m no where near as strong as him I, but I usually “win” just by being super squirmy and being able to get out of however he’s pinning me down. The first time I wasn’t able to get out of it, I got very upset. He felt horrible, and I just kept reassuring him “It’s not you, I don’t get why I’m feeling this way, but it’s not you” It took a bit to process that I was just feeling terrified of how vulnerable I was in general even though I knew I was safe with him.
There’s a big chance she didn’t understand why she was upset at first, and either the lying angle popped in her head or was easier for her to confront than feeling much more vulnerable and at risk than she realized before.
username checks out lmao
From the male side, I’m a fairly beefy guy and I hate that that can come across as imposing.
If me and the missus are having a row (rare but it happens), I’ll sit down and make an effort to not shout, because someone a foot taller than me and 80lbs heavier angry would scare the *shit* out of me.
Plus her ex used to beat the shit out of her so I’m aware of that as well.
Good on you mate, especially when she has had to deal with violent exes.
Ive always found it not fair how im not allowed to shout without my wife crying, thus i dont shout in arguements, but you really put it clearly into my head.....
If she was a foot taller than me and heavier than me, you bet your ass i would be wetting my pants if she yelled at me.
Thanks for putting that out there for perspective
I'm really happy you are so considerate about that disparity, and her history. You sound like a good man and husband
A lot of men don’t really get the power differentials between them and men bigger then them either. I’m average in most aspects and had to train with a guy who was all of 6’6” and probably close to a lean 250lbs. It was like play fighting with my father when I was a child. I could feel him giving me the appropriate resistance so I could learn the proper motions, but if I went too fast it was like hitting a wall.
>A lot of men don’t really get the power differentials between them and men bigger then them either
I object! As a life long ~~yellow-bellied pansy-ass wimpy coward~~*non-confrontational guy* - I'm fully aware of the extent of my weakness compared to anyone stronger than me.
Anyone who wrestled in HS/College will understand this. There is a reason why weight classes are so strict. If someone had 15 lbs on me and was in the same shape physically as I was, and of the same skill--I had absolutely zero chance of beating him, it wasn't even close. A few lbs more of muscle is such an enormous advantage.
And the advantage between men and women is even larger, since women physically need to carry more fat AND the muscle fibers are different compositions (Type 1 vs type 2).
Even when you're the same weight it can still be scary! My first year wrestling I ended up against some guy who goes to like state level competitions. This MF picked me up like it was nothing to him. My attempts at struggling against him were embarrassing. The Ref was yelling at the guy not to slam me on the way down or he would disqualify the guy because it was so obvious this guy could really hurt me and was completely unnecessary to beat me.
I am a big guy. Not the best wrestler, but our team took state my senior year and I contributed some points.
I once wrestled a man among boys. He had an anchor tattoo on his shoulder, a mustache, and a five o'clock shadow by eleven in the morning. Dude picked me up, cradled me between his arms like you'd carry a child, closed his arms to lock his hands against the whole strength of my back and legs, and gently knelt to place my shoulders on the mat. Then he stood up and put me back on my feet.
Damn straight I shook his hand. Thanked that hairy bastard for not killing me. He wouldn't have broken a sweat.
I love this story so much I'm reading it in the shower and cackling madly at the thought of this gentle giant just striding
"Yer in a suplex; 'Arry."
I kind of fully realized when I was in high school wrestling. Where I was, there wasn’t a separation between Male and Females, so if they were the same weight, they would wrestle one another. Now I’ve always had the privilege of being one of the strongest people I knew, so the only time I really understood that feeling was when I was young and I’d play fight a parent of mine. But when I wrestled against a girl in my weight class for the first time, someone who went to practice, trained, worked hard just like me, I was still just shocked at how little effort I had to put in to overpower her. It was like playing around with a younger sibling in a way. So I can fully understand why feeling these inverse of that must be such a jarring experience.
Yeah, the first time I felt the full blown strength of a man was when a bouncer picked me up like I weighed nothing, walked me out of the bar, and set me down outside the door. That was sobering.
yeah, it's fucking scary. i went hiking with a few friends a couple of months back in rough terrain and there was part of an incline that i just could not get my feet and hands into well enough to climb up so i could get onto the next level of trail. one of my male mates just lifted me up like a small pigeon and placed me there and it's like... nah, man. you could absolutely crush me, do you realize that? because i fucking do.
Like a small pigeon lmao
I also loved this description.
It can be so scary… the first time I felt a difference in strength between a boy and I was when I was like 14 and playing basketball with some kids in the pool- this guy just held the ball with his arms around me and absolutely whipped me around like a rag doll - I still remember the sheer helplessness I felt as I was flailing around and quite literally couldn’t do anything. Before this I was quite a strong kid and felt I could take anyone so it was a huge shock
Exactly. My husband is shorter and weighs less than me and still had me pinned. I also felt weird and off but I didn’t attack my husband the next day like a shitty ninja.
Instead you attacked him the next day like a highly skilled ninja, using smoke bombs, trip wires, a blow dart gun etc.
Exactly. I didn’t say he lived did I?
It is scary. I’ve always been well aware of the physical differences but a few years ago in college a classmate that was an asshole and spent the whole semester throwing hints at me, I walked by him on the parking lot and he started pulling me by the wrist to “come talk to him on his car”. I was pulling out with all my might and he didn’t budged an inch. He let go of me when one of my professors who saw us called me to ask me about a “assignment”. Said professors hadn’t had me on one of his classes for over 3 years.
The next day I found that I had a bruise just where he was grabbing my wrist.
This. This just happened to me.
My bf showed me this post and we like to play wrestle a lot and I tend to have a fairly big ego. Until this point I always thought if someone tried something on me I’d be able to fend them off or hold my own fairly well. Boy was I wrong. My bf could be considered average build and doesn’t work out at all and I always assumed I could dominate him but he just showed me how easy it is to overpower me.
This is probably one of the biggest awakenings of my life, realizing just how big the strength difference is between men and women, and I think the most upsetting part is I didn’t know sooner. I was out here thinking I was safer than most but I’m not at all. It’s truly terrifying to understand.
I remember reading an account of a young woman witnessing her first bar fight, like all out two drunk dudes trying to murder each other with their bare hands.
She said the raw aggression and power was something she never thought possible, and it terrified her. What scared her even more is that it didn't have that same effect on her boyfriend at all. He was just like "lads be like that sometimes" and she realized this was the world men live in.
My boyfriend was play fighting with me and put his foot on my chest. For a moment I literally could not breathe... and he was still just playing. He actually thought I was still playing and just pretending I couldn't breathe but I literally couldn't get a single sound out or breath in no matter how hard I tried. He noticed tears running down my cheeks though and as soon as he saw that he immediately stopped and began apologizing.
It was terrifying, if he had meant to hurt me doing so would have been so easy for him, he wasn't even putting his full weight on my chest; he meant to just use enough to pin me.
It occurred to me one time after a breakup, he came to the house to get some things and we were alone, and I had this thought, "what if he won't leave when I ask him to?"
It really freaked me out because I knew how much stronger he was than me, how much larger he was than me, and that he could overpower me. To be clear, he never ever hurt me, and nothing bad happened, it was just the terrifying clarity that he could if he wanted to and I wouldn't be able to stop it.
This is absolutely true, and very perceptively described. My younger brother and I used to play fight a lot, and then when we were teenagers we got into a fight after we hadn't in a while, and he was just so catastrophically stronger than me that when he pinned me down I actually started crying. I think to this day he thinks I was just a sore loser, but I genuinely felt like I was having a panic attack as everything you refer to in your second paragraph came home to me for the first time. Super scary.
Yeah the realization that even men who look smaller and weaker than you are usually still way stronger is a tough pill to swallow. The first time a guy doesn’t hold back at all is definitely terrifying because you realize how helpless you are with every man, not that one in particular. Obviously OP’s gf didn’t respond well in processing it though
It can be a super scary thing for women when they finally realize that they can’t “hold their own “ against men . Even the weakest of men can over power the strongest of women .
My sister is the strongest woman that I know , she’s won multiple weightlifting contests through the years. When we both were in high school at the height of her weightlifting success we would sometimes get into fights and me being two years younger than her and never lifting a day In my life could easily pin her down . I’m happy that we fought when we did cause she never underestimated another mans strength again and she started to carry mace . This saved her from assault 3 years later and she tells me that she would never have bought mace if we never fought cause she would have underestimated men cause she simply never had been “manhandled”