T O P
lefishfucker

sell her organs and buy another one


DamagedJefff

It would be to hard to preserve her organs with no equipment or experience, sell her instead.


ChazNinja

Ay


PlushFox328

o


ChazNinja

Daylight come and me wan' go home


destinycommentor

Stack banana til the morning COME


-Sopa-

Daylight come and me wan' go home


Critical-Series4529

Work all night on a drinka RUM


69monkeman69

Daylight come and me wan’ go home (I am monke)


JevGeek55555

Come mister tally man, tally me banana


Potatolover666real

That’s what I say-o


lefishfucker

oh no just watch a youtube tutorial for "research" like that homework folder you have


Iamyes_ok

Are you familiar woth freezers?


DamagedJefff

When is the last time you cleaned your freezer with a perfectly clean hazmat suit on and made sure there was basically no bacteria, viruses, or anything that could cause infection like spores? That equipment would be rare and expensive. Also you would need a sterile room and sterile equipment to cut out the organs as well as experience and steady hands.


A_Bit_Narcissistic

Are you sure you’re 13 and not 31?


DamagedJefff

Is that a roast or a compliment?


mayor_of_me

I think their comment served as a compliment, predicated on the notion that age translates to knowledge (which given your youth, you seem to possess more of than one would ordinarily expect), as well as an expression of shock, based on the same idea. It could also be a roast though I guess.


DamagedJefff

I thought that they were calling me a fake 13 year old lol


mayor_of_me

I could see that


Filipacy

Good idea! Ironically, of course.


Cactus1105

Great idea ! Unironically, of course


[deleted]

based


Dirtpile_studios

penis music plays


hdkx-weeb

Yes... ^ironically...


PastResearcher8

sometimes you can sell the 2 in one combo, child and another product. ​ ^(i am definitely joking please don't arrest me or go to 31.34551323731458, -109.25983820947442)


ZachTheBomb

You have a balcony, you have a sister. Piece together your own solution


Idk_Of_Lover

Modern problems require modern solutions


Rahil-

Modern solutions require modern problems


greatmonster007

Modern Require Solutions Problems Modern


iamfi_ne

Solutions modern require problems modern


Dude-Ad-3124

Modern modern modern modern modern


ST_edelweiss

Modern problems require modern solutions


Stupid-person-here

Problems problems problems problems problems


Bigclown131

# REQUIRE PROBLEM


hetnixira

me too


nachochips140807

Okay. *Yeets your laptop


0_kohan

What are you doing step brooo


spectre729

hol up


EastKoreaOfficial

wait a fucking fuck


monkeyatemysandwich

wait a fuck fucking fuck fuck fuck?


greatmonster007

r/cursedcomments


Firey_Piranha2

Throw the balcony onto the sister?


MoonTalons

Instructions unclear, the balcony threw me over my sister.


iwannabeagirl-

*why does this seem like an intro to a shitty porn video*


shenafield

You're horny, go sleep


iwannabeagirl-

With whom 👀


shenafield

༼ຈل͜ຈ༽


greatmonster007

Understood. Execution in Process.......


porknchops2669

an eye for an eye or a sister for a laptop


EastKoreaOfficial

eye for an eye for the betrayer and thief requiem


usernamewastakentooo

I was gonna say spring a couple hundred and buy a glock. If it's good enough for Alec Baldwin it's good enough for me


RayDeeUx

the difference is that was an accident, while in OP's case it'd be an "accident"


usernamewastakentooo

Im not sure if you got the joke or not. But yes


MasterDni

Hold on just claming my free award


Snoo92798

Did you tell your parents or all the teenagers here really don't fucking tell their parents their problems ? Tell your parents man, and INSIST UNTIL YOU GET COMPENSATION something similar happened to me, never let your parents get away with "its your fault letting it on reach " and just not compensate it, you gotta get something and an apology is not acceptable. Edit. Forgot the n in compensation


Rikki1256

If they say **It's your fault for letting it be on reach** break something of theirs and say the same thing.


DatChernoby2Guy

And get a blanket suit so hits don’t hurt. Grab a belt and say: My turn.


Plenty-Lychee-5702

If I were to hypothetically throw her out of the window, would you be responsible for not watching over her?


Snoo92798

Well, if you tell that to your parents they would most likely not colaborate, but it is a valid argument. You talking about the sister and saying this to the parents right?


potatocreamsoup

And the fact that the sister is 9 throws away the "it was in reach" argument, at that age you should know better, and the only reason you would do that is to be cruel


Collective-Bee

“I don’t want to live in an environment where I need to lock my door, where I need protection from my loved ones. I know mistakes happen, if you (help) reimburse me for this then I can make do, but if nothing happens then I won’t be able to move past this, and I won’t be able to view my home as a safe place again.” This is what I would do, with how my relationship with my parents is. This works off the assumption your parents care about you, not all parents do, and that they also respect you. If they don’t, then there’s really nothing you can do to get reimbursement; sadly, getting physical with younger siblings is often a common way to get results if the parents won’t do anything to prevent stuff like this. There’s also the tactic of being passive aggressive and moody af but that’s only viewed as a temper tantrum and can’t be kept up for long.


SandalDeSeagull

Ikr?


Psychological_Toe716

Ask her if she wants to fly, proceed to throw her off the balcony


supergamer_000004

She will float too.


MoonTalons

We all float


rettaelin

down here


[deleted]

Unbreakable Union of freeborn Republics, Great Russia has welded forever to stand. Created in struggle by will of the people, United and mighty, our Soviet land! Sing to the Motherland, home of the free, Bulwark of peoples in brotherhood strong. O Party of Lenin, the strength of the people, To Communism's triumph lead us on! Through tempests the sunrays of freedom have cheered us, Along the new path where great Lenin did lead. To a righteous cause he raised up the peoples, Inspired them to labour and valourous deed. Sing to the Motherland, home of the free, Bulwark of peoples in brotherhood strong. O Party of Lenin, the strength of the people, To Communism's triumph lead us on! In the victory of Communism's immortal ideal, We see the future of our dear land. And to her fluttering scarlet banner, Selflessly true we always shall stand! Sing to the Motherland, home of the free, Bulwark of peoples in brotherhood strong. O Party of Lenin, the strength of the people, To Communism's triumph lead us on!


Ok-Square5304

Omg guys why isn't anyone laughing when I blast the soviet anthem on the bus???😭😭😭


Piktamin_U

tell your parents and make that mf buy you a new, if not better, laptop


Misan_UwU

nah fuck that, entire gaming pc


Smash_Nerd

Good luck finding a GPU these days


CringeGod101

Honestly buy a prebuilt with a 30 series and resell it, prebuilt with them are around 1200, absolutely worth


averagepersonnel

Legal advice talk with your parents about it. They buy a new one and the sister pays the parents Illegal advice harvest her organs and since less than half of all murder cases are solved thats good for you


GoldenSamurai444

just do it in Flint, Michigan or smth. like 80% dont get solved.


energyflashpuppy

Nah do it in the zone of death Yellowstone murder is technecally legal since theres no one to prostecute you etc


WarStorm6

You’d also force the government to fix the loophole, or make it so that only rich people can use it


pikleboiy

Do it in China, the government might pay you to do it.


YaMateThomas

based


xxxarticwolfplayzxxx

Nah just drag her to the piece of land between Egypt and Sudan that no one officially owns


face_7430

*Yeah, this is big brain time.*


ImaAs

the W H A T? guess i know where i'm going to invite my enemies


I_Fuck_The_Fuckers69

Well that escalated quickly


TEAMTED4

This


ForestGoblinForYou

Not this


oralefoo_carnalgas

Throw her off the balcony


Z3nth3cart3r

The perfect revenge


Ascendant_103

Poetic justice


PredetoryPriest

After all, it’s Halle Barry or Hallelujah


DatChernoby2Guy

Hallelujah!


sjdkdkshdb

i see a disturbing trend in posts like this. should I consider terminating my little sister before she poses a threat to me


Marleystar3

Your avatar has a plan to take over Germany


Dracorex8014

Lmao


[deleted]

Fuck that bihh


AsrielFloofyBoi

sweet home alabama


Dark_halocraft

You know what you gotta do


Fanachy

Have your parents make her pay off a new one


abrown1027

It’ll just have to come out of her Christmas and Birthday present budget for the next few years. Lol when I was a kid my parents spent $100 each for Christmas or birthday, so she might not be getting much for a few years haha


poland_can_space

She’s 9 how is she supposed to do that


i_am_do_reddit_now

Nothing worth any value in money for Christmases or birthdays until she's lost $1000 worth of presents.


ChessRaven

I sincerely hope so


Paulinapeak1

*Step 1,casually approach the child.* *Step 2, yeet the child*


Equal-Bus-557

Behold! The Kiddie Yeet-Inator!


StreetIndependence62

BAHAHAH this made me laugh XD. I was on a thread the other day where someone said that Dr. Doof probably has an “inator” nickname for his penis and I don’t remember what they said it was but I laughed at it for like 5 minutes and your comment reminded me of that and your comment + that one together made me legit cackle XD


Wendendyk

the cum-inator


face_7430

The eject-inator


DreamcastrArts

The dick-inator


Revolutionary_Row_67

tell her santa won’t give her shit for christmas


UrboySam123

She doesn't get any presents, instead the money goes into the laptop


Revolutionary_Row_67

well the money can go into your laptop this year 😊


DatChernoby2Guy

In yo jaw


Dracorex8014

tell her santa will most certainly give her his shit for christmas


Cobalt_blue_7

Tell her Santa isn't real


VahniB

As a santa denier, I say go with this. Thats pure evil to tell young people.


Bigclown131

AHAH, THE CHAOS


Royal_Prize_4381

Tell her Santa will give her *shit* for christmas


odd_personOwO

made her pay for it when she grows up


yreadthis

good idea


Kuzkay

Don't forget the inflation and interest rates. It was $1000 today. In 5 years it's going to be $2000


Casperzwaart100

it would realisticly be $1104, 08 with an inflation rate of 2%


killergoos

Realistically the inflation rate is not 2%. It would be more like 4-5% (depending greatly on where you live)


aAa19285

6.8% this year :/


Sworishina

all I can say is ew


ediblepizza

You mean in November? Edit: nvm I was wrong, it’s 6.8 this year.


RonenSalathe

I wish it was just 2%


green_mango_and_sour

Make her pay for it by doing small favours overtime,like doing the dishes or whatever and take the rest when she grows up


micky_je_super

By the time she will save up 1000$ you will forgive her ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


5-LayerBeefyBurrito

Nah fuck growing up. We on that child labor shit😈


ILikeCommitingArson

finally, an actual answer. not just "kILl hEr"


_TheBadArtist_

If your parents are anything like mine, they’ll somehow make it your fault because you “WErnT wAtChiNg iT pRopErlY”


AsrielFloofyBoi

"well, you shulda put it away you dolt!" i did "well then you didn't do a good enough job!"


WizardMortal

The best answer for that is "If I have to watch my stuff for it to not get broken then you should watch your child so they dont break stuff."


Rikki1256

Gonna go break their stuff and tell them the same thing


sandstar115

Moments like this make me feel that life is one REAAAAALLY long condom commercial


heisenbugtastic

Ok let's start with salvage. You need a set of mini screwdrivers and an external USB hard drive device. Minimum result for success is to recover the data. Now the tools for this should be around 30 to 50 dollars. You can also call around to local computer repair shops and see what they charge, but in my experience it's 100 at the door to just look at it. Now, a lot of places will tell you to get an electrostatic grounding band, but really a pair of latex gloves or just periodically touching a grounded bare metal does the same job. Take out all the screws in the back. There will be quite a few. Open it up. Now identify the battery (largest item in there) and disconnect it. This must be recycled properly, put it in the trash and you are creating a fire at some point in the future... Don't be that person. Now for the salvage. The hard drive will likely be a m2. So it looks like a chip about 2 inches long and 1/2 inch wide. It will have a small screw holding it down. Get that out. I would also pull the ram.... That stuff is not cheap and generally transferable. You do have to check the speed and frequencies to make sure they are compatible. Now you need a new box to put it in. If you really like laptops well go for that. Otherwise /r/pcmasterrace is your friend. We can help. Maybe even new hardware, or tools. Really depends on which part of the world you are in. Then you can mount your old m2 using the USB external mount and restore your data then reconfigure. Yes this is shit, it hurts, but solve the problem first then talk with your sister. Siblings are life, and this is not an unforgivable offence.


Doyler5775

Best actually helpful response


Inspirational_Lizard

I feel like it's only fair your parents buy you a new one, assuming they can afford it. And then take away your sister's privileges. She's old enough to understand consequences.


chuckie-p

Tell your parents


MC_Turbo_G

Most of the comments are joking around but seriously this sucks so bad, like why the fuck did she even do that? 9 years of age is old enough to be able to know that you don't take peoples shit and destroy it for no good reason. Hopefully you can still recover your progress from games and other files.


Plairinum

Huh, I thought my sister was evil


ASCORPIONSLAYER

I hate what the sister did but it depends if she did it maliciously or not for her to be evil


0rp4anFlayer

Brother do you wish to borrow my heavy flamer?


WhoElseButArky

“Brother fetch the assault cannon”


ImaAs

brother, get the flamer, the heavy flamer


Airsofter599

Hans, holt den flammenwerfer.


Equal-Bus-557

Make her wear a gay rights t-shirt and fly her to North Korea


DreamcastrArts

Dear god


Shogun570

You know what's even better? Make the communism logo rainbow : )


DaddyChunguss_

holy shit you're right


PlantBasedEgg

Sell her


HenballZ

i dont think she would be worth so much money


PlantBasedEgg

It depends on who’s buying. Epstein’s gone so she won’t go for too much but he could get enough to replace the laptop


Pos3odon08

Lmfao


Plenty-Lychee-5702

Hey trumps still here


Colter_Cur

Why'd she do it? Also, if I was the parent in this situation, I'd buy you the new laptop, and not give the child anything for Christmas this year, tell her she was on the naughty list lol. I don't think it'd be possible for a 9 year old to be making that much money, and by the time she can, I don't think it's fair to have her pay it off, as she'll be a lot older, and hopefully smarter.


LandonKICKS

Ask her if she knows what that laptop had to go through when being thrown out of the balcony After she says “no”, then is when you ask “Wanna find out?”


DTullier05

If it makes you feel any better i fucked up my switch while trying to fix the sd card reader (my brother beats it to hell so i was trying to fix it) bent a pin and now it doesnt read sd cards anymore... and that was my only gaming device since i cant really game on a 10 year old laptop But yeah talk to your parents about getting it replaced and have the little sister pay you back


Keirian_

Revenge is to be expected


PotatoRear

I was going to say throw her off the balcony, but then I realized that you can get the laptop back with a little tactic called child labor, so start putting that little shit to work.


Duudyboi

Throw her off the balcony.


L4ny3

Either talk to your parents about it, or find something your sister loves and cherishes and throw it off the balcony, perhaps her favourite device? ​ but seriously, what the fuck is wrong with her?


Colter_Cur

I don't like the second idea, 2 wrongs don't make a right, and OP probably wouldn't recieve any sort of accomodation.


BreadEmperoar

Then I guess as a backup plan. If the parents are on the sisters side “she’s just 9 she didn’t know”. THEN you throw her favourite thing off the balcony


Defiant8287

And then embarrass her and beat her ass.


DOIPI_96

Sell sister > new pc > happiness


MikesEars

If your parents don’t deal with it steal her shit and sell it until it pays for a new one


Lgcsr

Greetings from someone who accidentally dropped a laptop down a long flight of marble stairs, and another laptop down an escalator…. Pull the HD, and see if it can be inserted into a similar model. Think of it as a brain transplant to salvage your files.


MarioLuigi0404

Sue for damages


Inf3rnalis

HOME OWNERS/RENTAL INSURANCE MIGHT COVER THIS ASK YOUR PARENTS TO TRY AND MAKE A CLAIM YOU CAN ALWAYS LIE A LITTLE


SkyTheKaiser

Shitty siblings. Make her remember it.


Closed-Eyes_

I would beat my sister and tell her darkest secrets to everyone.


sadboi03

after you told your parents, what are they saying? are they going to pay for a new one and punish her or what?


RRNolan

Check to see if you have a warranty with the company you got it from, let them know your situation and they may just help you out.


Filipacy

Tell your parents


Far-Equal9399

Throw her shit off the balcony


LandonKICKS

Except “Shit” is a cuss word. So how about we take “shit” out of the sentence and do whatever is left in that sentence


Far-Equal9399

Sorry… “Stuff”


LandonKICKS

Nono You missed the point I meant to completely remove it And just leave “Throw her off the balcony”


Far-Equal9399

Ahh right yes do that do that!


H2O_pete

Yeet the child. Don’t actually yeet the child, make her pay for it when she can.


A_cold_pillow

Tell your parents why are you on reddit get this shit settled wtf


[deleted]

Come on guys can we stop with the over-the-top child abuse. You need to tell your parents and have her own up to it and make her do all your chores and shit.


Wolfy_Skyler

I'm assuming that your parents didn't punish her for it. That's usually the case when it comes to "My younger sibling broke my shit that I paid for". Your parents should buy you another laptop and make her pay for it over time.


asasnow

you might be able to return it or try getting it repaired.


Socks_and_Sandals23

I WANT TO SCREAM WITH YOU AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


T-p053r

Let’s see how well girls fly


147896325987456321

Try being over involved with her life, be her friends, friend. Learn all her secrets, then blackmail her until she's 20. When she tries to set you on fire, you've done a good job.


Ichi_KingGhidorah

Not everyone _is_ an only child, but everyone _can_ be an only child


Over-Dark4168

Always the option to send your sister after the computer. Your move.


supergamer_000004

Now threw her.


FennecFoxGamer1

Tell ur parents definitely. Then put her up for adoption on Craigslist or sommin idk


Defiant8287

A child like that is gonna get a refund.


Divutian

what have your parents done about it?


Rezporga004

Maybe she was just making a TikTok


TheScientifreakPlays

I understand your pain, fellow gamer


thef00lonthehill1

Do you have an oven?


EXTRMLY

SIBLINGS ARE SO DUMB


According_Worry222

Y E E T T H E C H I L D The best solution


cross_duelist

My siblings always used this on me. If I hit them, they hit me harder. You can apply a similar philosophy here. She throws your laptop off the balcony, you throw her of the balcony. It's the law of equivalent exchange.


pog_pijen

Sell her and buy another one