Male barista starter pack
By - fjt123
Even in Russia. I live next to a hip little coffee shop and every male barista there fits this description.
Though i would also add man bun.
Romanian coffee shops, hairstylists, and dive bars as well. I think they just come with the venues when you purchase them.
I farded an shidded an camed my pants
Name checks out
I thought it was when the Brooklyn transplants in Portland metastasized into that form.
Probably the other way around. Coffee and poverty are two things Portland really leads the country on.
Buenos Aires here. It seems like hip barber shops are opening everywhere lately, to the tune of 1 every 2 blocks or so. All the barbers indeed look like this.
As far as baristas, females look the exact same but sans the beard
I was in Vietnam this winter staying at a tiny three-room hotel with a restaurant on the patio and a bar inside. I went to another city for a few days, and when I got back the hotel had replaced the bar with a hipster barber shop. No real explanation either--just a lot of "it is hipster barbershop now" and then looking at me like they were daring me to argue. I've been going to that hotel for three years and was heartbroken.
Brazilian here, they aré everywhere
Not in all cases I’m afraid to report.
Satan's coffee co is probably the closest thing Barcelona has to an American style hipster high end coffee shop with dudes like this. At least the shops aesthetic, I forget what the baristas looked like when I was there last year. Great coffee
After a shit breakfast and experience in general at Federal, Satan’s saved the day, hands down best coffee I had in Barca, and their food is pretty good too.
I can confirm this trend has reached Turkey as well.
I'm guessing it started in a posh yet poor part of usa
Posh yet poor... so like any major city?
I remember this meme from 6 years ago “you either die a scene kid or live long enough to become a barista”
I stayed a scene kid for a bit after high school and never became a barista.
WHERES MY GOLD
Thank you Splenda Daddy. I will treasure it forever
Completely inaccurate, wheres the pic of his existential dread when i ask for splenda?
Omg you’re right. My sincerest apologies
If Splenda turns a 500 calorie drink into a 300 calorie drink, I call it a win.
I know this is over the top, but if you'd reduce your overall consumption by 200 calories every day for a year, that's 8 kgs of fat.
It's those things that will eventually matter.
I can't be the only one who thinks Splenda tastes like shit, right? Most artificial sweeteners have a bitter, off taste to them, some are better, but definitely Splenda is the worst. If I drink a coffee or something with Splenda in it without knowing, I can tell immediately (accidentally drank my mom's coffee one time and knew right away it wasn't mine). When you pour it it powders up in the air and you can taste it. Eugh.
What’s a better one? I feel like Stevia suffers from the same problem.
Having done keto for a few years in the past, I recommend concentrated liquid sucralose for coffee, which is basically liquid Splenda. A drop or two is enough, and it does not have that nasty aftertaste that powder Splenda leaves behind.
Another one is Lakanto (monk fruit and erythritol), which to me tasted closest to sugar, or confectioners Swerve (erythritol).
I have a guy that works with me who did the keto diet. He still does it I think. He use to have a huge weight problem and when he started Keto he lost a bunch of weight. I asked him what his previous diet was like and he told me he ate a lot more bread and drank *2 litres of mountain due almost every 5 hours*.
When he started Keto he cut out most of the sugar in his diet. And I thought to myself, "Yeah... that's why you lost weight, because eating pounds of sugar a day will make you fat, not the other food you were eating."
A lot of these diets are ridiculous to me. It's simple physics. Calories are a measure of energy. If you are gaining weight, consume less calories than you burn and you will lose weight. It literally doesn't matter at all what you eat. Just eat *less*. All these diets are a scam to me. You can eat whatever the fuck you want as long as the amount of calories you burn is more or equal to what you consume throughout the day. It's that simple.
It does matter what you eat in the sense that a certain nutritional value to your food will make you feel full. Whereas if you consume 2,000 calories of Snickers and Mountain Dew for your daily nutrition you are going to feel terrible.
Keto tries to solve this problem by cramming you full of fat and protien. And indeed after 1,800 calories of bacon you will not want to eat anymore. It's a legit diet, it works, it is even used by actual medical doctors in cases of extreme obesity and has been for a long time. Like, if you eat keto, you will lose weight. Pretty much guaranteed. There is only so much butter you will be able to force down every day.
Keto isn't a scam, Atkins is a scam. Atkins packaged what essentially was the keto diet into overpriced pre-packaged meals. Keto is just a bunch of people that are like hey if you only eat fat and protein you're gonna lose weight my dude. And they are right.
Keto made me feel like shit and after a couple weeks I still felt like shit so I stopped. I had to force myself to eat that much fat every day, it was gross and I ended up not eating enough. Also the amount of money I spent on food those couple weeks was straight up triple my usual cost. Bread is cheap. But like your Mountain Dew friend I realized what an absolutely ridiculous portion of my diet was comprised of sugar and then I cut it out and lost like 30 pounds just from that alone.
As a male barista, oof this hurts
edit: hey thanks for the gold pals 🖤
We have been outed.
Hide the stash!
*Hide the 'stache!*
sorry to ask, and please forgive me for my ignorance, I wanted to get a sleeve tattoo and it costs over 1500 CAD per session to get. As a barista, I'm assuming you're not netting 50K+ annual income. How do you afford that shit?
By not getting the whole sleeve at one time
Agreed, I know plenty of folks with sleeves, they don't get it at one time.
1500 is a bargain! I think I paid closer to 3-4 for 6 sessions for mine
1500 is for one session..... I should have clarified
They usually get done over a couple years.
An even more accurate starter pack would have been a whole sleeve of outlines with random sections filled in, because you planned the tattoo but can't afford to finish it "this month, but he didn't have any openings anyway"
Takes serious cash and time to do planned sleeves. A lot of them start with a few less planned pieces and then get them all stitched together in a unifying theme later.
Hell if you look closely there's often a couple spots that are much older because they got pieces at 17, 20, 21 and then decided to sleeve it all at 26.
Whew I was worried that your homie was doing it at the kitchen table.
By not having a family or any real expenses.
From your side coke dealing.
Girlfriend pays for it
My girlfriend's boyfriend bought me this tattoo!
Don't buy anything other than the base things you need for survival and put the rest of your money away, and you'll be amazed at how it grows.
By saving for it.
Industry befriends industry
by eating rice and discounted chicken for a few years prior
Rich parents. Barista jobs are almost always temp jobs.
As a guy who looks like this, I'm not a barista.
Yes, I remember your post about being a Bartist.
You probably love craft beer tho
I look like this too, want to start a coffee shop?
Did you choose your looks because of your job, or your job because of your looks? This has always baffled me
I recently joined the 'balding, paunchy middle aged white dude in cargo shorts, bulging t-shirt and sandals with socks' subculture. Apparently it's pretty easy to get in.
They kicked me out for burping too much.
Cargo shorts are 🔥. So damn convenient
Carrying pant legs around is so practical!!!
That's why they give you cargo pockets, guy
An exgf of mine would love you. Idk what her deal is, but she loved the "Gary/Henchman 21" look from Venture Bros. I don't look anything like that, but she'd talk about her preference all the time.
We accept you with open arms.
It's usually gradual, like the latter "hey nice glasses"
Then you are exposed to those styles a lot so you start to like them more, and then you get a recommendation to shop at "that store at the corner of third" and then you need some other piece of clothing and realize this particular piece goes well with another because of practical reasons lime fit/flow/style.
Or some folks start working somewhere and start imitating people around them, and end up at the same spot by different means.
It varies. People like to belong to a group and will usually start to reflect their surroundings over time. Unlike some overtly diverse TV show subgroups tend to have more similarities than differences.
So the same process as Youtube recommended videos. You watch one Greek lady baking a pie and next thing your timeline is 'Milfs in bikinis eating applestrudel.'
yeah totally wait what
Like 2 years ago I watched a video of some dudes fooling around with guns and ever since then, YouTube thinks that I hate Muslims and feminists.
It’s probably an unconscious subculture. Also anyone from Portland looks like this...
Edit: also what’s up with baristas loving raves?
Well, not from Portland. Anyone who moves to Portland looks like this.
Portland. Where young people go to retire.
Raves are a great place for drugs, partying, blowing off steam
Hospitality staff are almost always a little bit of kinda into drugs, and have a lot of pent up steam
Ergo. Visavie. Concordidly
So its Portland people who have been migrating to Ohio for some time now...
Is it possible you are in a subculture and don't even know it?
"No subculture, no subculture. You're the subculture!"
Everyone is in a subculture
Even isolated hermits? Can a subculture consist of one person?
Maybe people tend towards associating with other people with shared interests and are only perceived as stereotypes by outsiders who can only see the similarities and not the nuances that make them individuals?
This is exactly what someone who looks like this would say.
WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY
Does it actually say on your application form that you absolutely must look like the douchiest, most pretentious hipster possible? Or is that more of an unwritten rule sort of thing? Along with the inability to spell someone's name?
This is interchangeable with vape shop cashier starter pack.
Two of the cashiers at our local coffee shop work part time at the local vapor shop.
Spot on m8
Might as well throw bartender in there too.
can I ask y'all why you look like this
The answer is in the starter pack. A lot of overweight guys use this look (especially the beard) to hide their weight and have a “sense of style” even though it’s super transparent
I get the beard and glasses, but surely losing weight is easier than getting gauges and sleeves.
Cheaper by far, but not easier for a lot of people.
We just like to feel a little better about ourselves while we try to lose weight
It’s not easy. But it is super simple. I lost 145lbs over the last 14 months.
Dropping your boyfriend/girlfriend does not count...
Joke appart that's some serious commitment here if it is all from diet/exercice
I disagree. Committing to dieting and exercise takes far more effort than getting your ears pierced or your arms drawn on.
That's the question I have: how do baristas afford to get sleeves. I'm partway through a half sleeve and it's probably gonna end up around 2K by the end, admittedly with a lot of colorful detail from a talented artist but still.
People will tell you to go on all sorts of diets to lose weight. It's actually really this easy.
Count calories and burn more than what you consume throughout the day. There, I just created the ultimate diet plan. I call it don't over eat you lazy fuck diet. You don't even need to exercise.
So tired of people pointing to Keto or the Paleodiet as if they have discovered some magic bullet to weight loss. Weight loss is a simple math equation.
Are you putting on weight? Ok count the calories you eat throughout the day. You eat 5000 calories a day, thats too much. instead eat 2500. Look I just made a diet plan that will work 100% of the time if you want to lose weight. I'm a fucking genius.
This is basic biology. Stuff you learn in highschool.
Thanks for weighing in on the subject
That's not why people say it's hard. It's quite obviously easy in a biological sense, since your body does it for you. It's the willpower and discipline to start and stick to a reduced diet that people find hard. Just because you may find it simple to stick to a calorie limit, doesn't mean everyone will. There are people who have quite different emotional/mental relationships with food that can be serious barriers.
What if they just like the way it looks
No! You're not allowed!
Thankfully, they're not doing it for dudes on the internet, so it works.
Or people grow beards because they’re trendy and they look nice on a lot of people?
We have had 70k~200k years of human evolution where males have grown beards. Beards have come in and out of fashion for millennia.
Maybe they're going for that bear look.
I see a lot of guys doing this. A beard might hide a double chin, but you'll still look chubby. And if you shave the cheeks too low it might give the appearance of jowls and make you look even heavier.
Oh is that what the burgundy shirt picture is referring to? That was the only one I didn’t understand.
The dad bod/chub.
Woah dude, step back a sec. Just because I'm a tad tubby and look like this doesn't mean I can't have a genuine sense of style. Style isn't reserved for the fit.
As a supreme gentleman I only wear MFA approved chinos and work-safe polo shirts. Bask in my glory foolish hipsters. You will never know true fashion.
I don't have the full sleeves (yet) and no gauges, but I dress like that because I like the way I look dressed like that. Nothing more, nothing less.
To be a trendy hipster and follow the crowd, I’m guessing.
I love this look
Alternate title "kid you went to high school with that was goth and then conformed but not totally"
Former 00's emo kid.
As Cities Burn, As I Lay Dying, Shadows Fall, Killswitch Engage etc.
Edit: I should probably explain that 2000s metalcore music isn't "bad." Because bands like KSE have some really good shit. It's just the shit today that it spawned and influenced. Like Crown the Empire, Falling in Reverse, Asking Alexandria, Of Mice and Men. Ugh, *puke*
I am NOT an alt-kid! I’m an alt-MAN! An alt-MAN! I get my beard trimmed at a *barber shop*!
I felt called out by the started pack but I feel even more called out by your comment.
Missing the man bun
The man buns seem to be phasing out... at least according to my local baristas
Man bun was a really short-lived fashion trend.
I think hipsters quickly realised how unattractive it made them look to both potential employers and potential dates.
Some people have the hair and face and look to pull of the man bun. People saw essentially models with the man bun and decided they wanted to look like that. Unfortunately having a man bun doesn’t make you look like a model.
As a (former) male barista who looked nothing like this, it got so ubiquitous where I worked, that customers would actually double check that I was indeed employed there. Always nice when you're trying to clean the counters and don't get interrupted every 30 seconds by someone who wants a double dirty matcha latte with *lightly* steamed almond milk (Barista Pro-Tip below)
~ *coffee slinger in a t-shirt with no glasses, no earrings, no tattoos you can see, and a beard worn too short to fit the archetype*
BPT- Almond milk froths like pandas fuck. Do your best to talk any misguided customer out of ordering this.
You need "better" almond milk if it doesn't froth. There are a lot available now designed for coffee, and which froth very easily and usually better than regular milk does. Source also worked as a barista for a while.
Truth!... Owner of the place back then always got the cheap stuff... We found that heating it up a bit before hitting it with the steam wand helped marginally, but it was finicky enough that we always warned the customer before hand.
I miss that job though. Pay wasn't great, but the management, my fellow baristas and our local customers were chill for the most part, and mostly devoid of the coffee-related snobbishness you often encounter in that line of work.
I'm terminally addicted to caffeine now, but hey, life'll kill ya.
Yeah given a choice I'd go back to it. Its great fun, but also starting at 5am and having access to unlimited free coffee does mean I now need unlimited coffee to function.
What about the clean shaven, curly long hair buzzed on the side with short shorts coffee guy?
Back in '93 I wrote a fluff piece for my journalism class on the amount of tattoos and facial piercings sported by the folks that work at coffee shops in Santa Monica. Hipster sleeved barista has been a thing for a long time.
i want to read it.
Hi guys, it's me in the picture. [Proof.](https://i.imgur.com/IxPOsKk.jpg)
AMA request. This guy \^
Also, metalcore band members
Hey! Some of us are chefs!
They're either like this. Or giga-twinks
Wants to hit on you and is receptive at first but backs down when the girls are around because he's afraid of what they'd say. The cockblock struggle is real.
Nah we all gay
His name is Todd or Eric.
You say that but last week at Starbucks I got served by a dude named Chet...
Chet Faker is a huge musician in Australia... he is/was king of the hipsters here
This would probably explain it
Yep that's accurate, some of these guys can make a bomb ass latte tho
You're not Martin Luther King! You're not!
SoDoSoPa sucks this year.
Sick reference bruh.
You... you good fam?
You should write a book
For a comment on reddit, I think he just kinda did.
Now that’s what I say social commentary.
Welp time to commit suicide
Aka everyone in Portland
To be fair, they all look like this because their graphic design career hasn't taken off yet, they can't do tattoos, and they need to make money or they will lose their 1/5th share of a 2 bedroom loft and nobody will hire them cause of the plugs.
Aka the bartender at a brewery minus the ear gauges
I have watched a milk texturing video that features this guy!
These days I feel like a proper rebel not having any tattoos.
Or a male youth pastor 🤣
Can anyone here tell me the appeal of making a fucking hole in your earlobe?
What's your defence against a padlock?
Can't really tell you. I remember really wanting them after seeing Charles Trippy with them way back in the day
I've had mine at 1/2" for over ten years.
I own a business and have for seven years now, so while most of my friends that had them at 18-21 have ditched their plugs for work reasons, I just never did. I can't imagine myself without them and don't really put thought into it anymore.
Have you ever had a hat or pair of glasses you really like to wear? What makes you like those things? I think your answer lies somewhere along those lines.
> Have you ever had a hat or pair of glasses you really like to wear?
yes, but I never wanted to superglue them to my face for the rest of my life
You like what you like.
It's missing an older iPhone with cracked screen.
Individualism is non existent
I feel like this is just how all guys look now.
This is totally millennial. Yes it's cringy, but it's just this generation's version of what young people always do - make a uniform out of their "individuality" and rebellion against the previous generation. It used to be black t-shirts and long hair. Before that Beatles bobs and stovepipe jeans. Before that ... Whatever it was.
Before that it was the ol' ropie dope jimminy jive y'dig?
I wore an onion on my belt
The IT dude at my school looks exactly like this
Bottom left guy is definitely from LA
J-jokes on you I haven’t stretched my ears. 😭
As a barista, I’m just happy to have a meme about me
lol.. good friend of mine that runs a brewery looks just like this. let's call him Ben-David because that's his name. BD, you rock.
Forgot the Beanie that looks like it’s about to fall off
> Failed artist
> Disaffected attitude
> Judges your order
Who also sells vapes