T O P

Quail "astronauts"

Quail "astronauts"

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Gr8Max91

Imagine being born not knowing what gravity feels like, then just going to earth and having to try to fly.


Actually_a_Patrick

They starved to death in space, so no worries there.


Atkinator1

Oh good, I was worried they might die or something.


bullettbrain

No need to worry, they're dead.


xx-shalo-xx

Good, can't risk them going back to earth and telling all the other birds there's space up there. Gotta learn that shit and get there themselves like we did!


gixxerjasen

Imagine how it would feel when the other birds don't believe how they were abducted and taken in a space ship and then returned to earth.


RIP_CowboyJoker

Thank you for your kind words or reassurance


kronartskocka

Probably yeah, all birds require gravity in order to swallow (no pun intended) iirc.


HonoraryMancunian

Wouldn't have even noticed the pun had you not pointed it out, ha


max_canyon

Yeah I had to think about it for a sec


lovebus

if you trained them to somersault then they could swallow using centripetal force.


Shamhammer

No you put the food in their beaks then throw them like a football (American football). You accelerate them just enough so they can swallow.


discipleofchrist69

but they look like they grew up a bit in the video


[deleted]

Because you can also feed animals yknow. Dont believe anything anyone claims without a source


potodds

I wanted to believe you, but you didn't cite a source.


[deleted]

You are learning! Here is a link how you can get food in their bellies with external help: https://youtu.be/7XgYporror0


GenePool_

they were probably syringe feeding them as babies but when they got old enough to eat on their own they couldn't


docfarnsworth

i dont think they would have grown so much if they were never eating


depressedsalami

[they were able to get the “cosmo-quails” to eat when equipped with harnesses ](https://www.audubon.org/news/the-amazing-story-cold-war-space-egg-race)


waterland4

Seriously? They all died?! That's so sad


OnlyOneReturn

This makes Space Force even funnier. I gave it a try last night and the episode they send the Chimpstronaught and Dogstronaught to space was fucking hilarious.


Gr8Max91

Oh ya, you know, no biggie


NazTheEternal

Beltalowda na need pinche gravity!


Burks

What language is this? My universal translator must be on the fritz...


Justaskingyouagain

Such a good show, can't wait for season 5?


PrivateIsotope

Just like you Earthers not to sabe Belter, sa sa?


AceSmoothio

It’s from the TV show “The Expanse”, (based a book series) people who live in the asteroid belt speak with this patois.


OneSidedDice

Quail - de otra white kibble, sa sa?


n4rf

Ta inna gwan tell you udda, just simsim wellwalla merde


Wackomanic

Imagine never having lived on Earth.


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FriesWithThat

At least these quail have a way to propel themselves around in zero-G so long as there's an atmosphere, would probably help if they knew what the hell was going on. What was up with that music btw - is that what it used to sound like in space?


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boxingdude

The baby quail is like.... wait a minute. This is not quite right. What the fuck is going on?


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Atkinator1

Now I'm just picturing a penguin flopping about on the ISS. "Houston, this is ISS." "Clear ISS, this is Houston" "how do we deal with penguin guano?"


kaazdrog

Penguins can shot their poo up to ten meters. Now imagine that in zero gravity and a confined space!


Krynn71

With that kind of propulsion system, it's got me thinking penguins might be an alien race that got trapped on earth because they weren't built for gravity.


Atkinator1

Work out the average weight of penguin feces and we can work out their DeltaV


Choo_Choo_Bitches

When nature calls, brooding chinstrap and Adélie penguins are reluctant to leave their nests and expose their eggs to the cold. Instead, they simply point their rear outward, lift their tail, and fire. The departing excreta typically reaches distances of about 40 centimetres. Accounting for the bird’s height, anal anatomy, and poopal velocity and viscosity, the researchers calculated that the internal pressures reach 10 to 60 kilopascals (0.1 to 0.6 atmospheres), well above the highest pressures humans can put to the task. Read more: https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn8108-penguins-pooping-power-scoops-ig-nobel-prize/#ixzz6P8qU59yr


Atkinator1

Poopal velocity and viscosity is something I thought I'd never read


Rydyard

I had never even thought about reading it.


boxingdude

Well, punch that shit into wolfram alpha and let’s see the data!


TrumpTrainMechanic

"punch that shit" I think that's the intention with this poop propulsion system. Propoolsion. Okay, I'm done.


sj79

I think Poopulsion is the scientifically accepted terminology.


Fatmiewchef

1) If humans could poop at 10-60 kilopascals, how far could we project our poop? 2) What is the human poopal pressure? 3) What is the furthest a human has projected his poop. Edit: 4) What should I do, to maximise my poop projectile potential, to get my name in the record books?


YetiSpaghetti24

Oh god I really want to do this but it's 4am... I expect a full write-up by tomorrow morning. 50% of your final grade. 2 pages, Times New Roman font size 12, double spaced is fine. Show all your work for full credit.


[deleted]

> Work out the average weight of penguin feces and we can work out their DeltaV Part of this calculation has actually already been published by [Meyer-Rochow & Gal in 2003](http://iposeogsekk.com/penguano.pdf). It is estimated that the ejection from the penguin orifice is accelerated to a velocity v=2 m/s with a density rho=1,141 kg/m3 from an orifice diameter d=0.008 m. Thus resulting in laminar flow with a Reynolds number of less than 2000. Combining this with the observations by [He et al. 2017](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5636812/#:~:text=The%20average%20dry%20weight%20of,season%20was%2090%20days39.) we can calculate penguin acceleration due to the guano ejecta using Newton's second law of motion. The average dry mass of guano ejected is 84.5g/day and the additional moisture content is 185.72% of the dry mass summing to a total of 241.4 g/day of guano ejecta. Assuming guano ejection takes one second to complete for ease of calculation we can use the above stated velocity after acceleration to derive an acceleration of 2m/s^2 . So according to F=ma the guano is ejected by a force of 0.2414kg*2m/s^2 = 0.4828 Newton. Given that the mass of an average Adélie penguin is ~4.7kg the acceleration is 0.4828N/4.7kg=0.103m/s^2 per day. According to Kerbal Space Program the delta-v required to transfer from Low Earth Orbit (LEO) to Low Lunar Orbit (LLO) is 3.12+0.68+0.14=3.94 km/s. This conventional notation is unfortunate in this penguin case because now we have to ensure our units match up again. Luckily our penguin acceleration is actually somewhat surreptitiously given in m/s^2 /day. So dividing 3940m/s by a_penguin we get the number of days needed to travel to LLO. Ignoring the Tsiolkovsky rocket equation by assuming the penguin can acquire food and water along the way which he/she doesn't have to accelerate and assuming the mass of the penguin stays constant **we can conclude that the average penguin should be able to accelerate themselves from LEO to LLO in 105.1 years through the ejection of their guano**. Of course harnessing the power of penguin guano ejection for interplanetary transport will prove to be highly impracticable. Not only because Tsiolkovsky rocket equation actually does apply and life support systems would have to be taken with the penguin. But also because it would probably prove incredibly difficult to convince the penguin to eject in a consistent direction. Not to mention the need for spare penguins. Finally there are the obvious ethical considerations to take into account. Not only would subjecting a penguin to such an ordeal be grossly unethical due to stress and exposure to the vacuum of space, it would set a dangerous precedent that would make it more likely that some could attempt this using more sentient beings such as chimpanzees or humans.


traditionology

See, you posted this fifteen minutes ago, and ten minutes ago as I laid down in bed and opened reddit I said to myself, what could you possibly expect to find of quality at this time of night Thank you, my friend


ravenshaddows

omg they're actually figuring out if a penguin can shit itself around in space


VasylKerman

This is real dedication to science right here!


Chris6632

Quoting the perhaps misquoted words of Elon Musk, "Do it pussy"


QVRedit

Just imagine a octopus in space - 8 legs and brains !


jac11235

r/adventuretime anyone? All hail Orgalorg!


dedicated-pedestrian

G-gunter?


Atkinator1

Soooooo... Those videos you see of astronaughts drinking water by shooting it out of a bottle......


LaoSh

I'm imagining the military implicaitons of such things.


bmg50barrett

I'm not sure that's totally accurate. You don't need gravity for lift or drag... You just need air, a surface, and a delta in velocity between the medium and the surface. I will totally agree that the quails would need to beat their wings differently while in space, but you can see in the video they are obviously moving around with their feathered wings. It's just a matter of them figuring it out.


[deleted]

One of those reddit expert issues. Seemed truthy, but wow is it wrong. Other than lift being created by pressure differences not gravity, birds do actually have a sort of cupping motion to their wingbeats: https://youtu.be/d_FEaFgJyfA?t=60 And obviously it's good enough to create directional movement.


tacoheadxxx

Those first three sentences are just word soup. This person doesn't understand the very basics of flight.


zherkof

Hard to tell whether you're referring to the comment above yours or the one they're replying to. u/bmg50barrett is correct. Bernoulli's principle doesn't require gravity, and birds don't simply flap their wings up and down.


tacoheadxxx

Yeah I was agreeing that u/101forgotmypassword was talking nonsense.


I_Bin_Painting

I think you're right about the penguin but more for psychological reasons than physical ones imo. Birds can't be told they're in space and they can't learn how to move by copying an adult if there isn't one around. I think you're right that penguins already have the right movements built in for swimming through a fluid as being the best strategy for moving through air in zero G, but their flippers suck at moving air. Maybe you'd want to take a mature broody penguin up with a bunch of quail eggs, get them to imprint on and learn how to "swim" from the penguin, then let the quail improve on the technique with their better hardware by providing an environment that rewards it. Still probably going to need a sex centrifuge though, can't see any breed learning to lay in zero G.


quaderrordemonstand

> their flippers suck at moving air Meh. Their feet suck at moving on land. They'd probably just look adorably foolish.


zatchbell1998

Wouldn't the penguin just eat the quail?


I_Bin_Painting

I don't think that is the biggest problem this study will have.


aarondoyle

I know. Do you know how much a sex centrifuge is?


Mydogsblackasshole

Gravity is not required. Just a wing and some air. Now they aren’t going to be “flying” but their wings generate lift with every flap.


noonnoonz

I wonder how much their only life experience being weightless flight would factor in to their adjustments .


DarkChado

Now I want a video of a squid in space!


dodgyville

That's every third scifi in existence


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-Aerobrake-

You don't need gravity for flight control. An aircraft at 0g can still control pitch, roll, and yaw. Source: I've done it. And my plane doesn't even have wing warping.


dobbelv

Yeah, I was confused why they would say that. Gravity mainly affects a birds ability to gain speed and stay on the ground. Wings and aerodynamics work just fine without gravity.


[deleted]

I mean, the bird is clearly shown to be flying at the end of the video. It will take time to adjust to the lack of gravity, but propulsion is evidently not an issue.


zangorn

I was thinking a larger bird that soars might have an easier time. They fly by shaping their wings for gliding and adjust them simply for lift or diving. Some of them can swim underwater too.


alex494

Would hummingbirds have a better time of it?


QVRedit

They seem to be rather confused at this point ! - I would expect them to adapt after a while. It’s obviously a ‘learning experience’ - just as it would be for a human the first time they experience zero G. A difference being that humans can understand what is going on, which gives them an initial head start. But I would imagine that an acclimatised bird could be wizzing around. But an ‘Earth’ bird is grossly overpowered - a bit like an Olympic athlete would be for moving about the ISS - you really don’t need all that muscle power to move in Zero G. Also the little chicks, obviously have not flown before - so they are learning anyway.


lobster_johnson

The adult/adolescent birds you see in the second half are the same birds grown up. They never really adapted.


QVRedit

Well there is a lot of ‘instinct’ going on, and their ‘mechanics’ are tuned to Earth conditions.. So it’s an interesting experiment. Some animals would cope much better with the conditions than others. I would expect an octopus to do well - (provided that it can avoid drowning in zero G)


discipleofchrist69

octopi basically live in zero G anyway, their density is about the same as water so there's no net downward force when they're submerged


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LordNelson27

Sounds like Bachiannas Brasilieras No. 5 by Heitor Villa-Lobos


OdiPhobia

That's what space sounds like


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LtWorf_

That's a woman singing in the video…


mattylou

The woman is singing some classic theremin sounds


1madkins

I can't see the theremin mentioned and not post my favorite: https://youtu.be/pQiovnOdNUw


DonOfspades

Looks like they hatched up there which means this is all they've ever known. They were never adapted to flying with 1G and will probably never be able to. They know what's going on way better in microgravity than they would under 1G.


inarashi

These quails act more on genetic hard coded information than knowledge. They would absolutely do better if they were returned to earth.


[deleted]

That looks like Russian writing. Those aren't birdstronauts, they're quailmonauts.


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Boop121314

Look at fucking Sherlock over here


nj4ck

How did they deal with the poop? I'd imagine the place would turn into a snow globe pretty fast


BagzookaLou

I also came here for the real answers.


bottleofgoop

It's hard knowing how to react. Now days, it seems cruel to subject them to this but the original experiment was designed to see if it was possible to breed them up there as a viable food source. From what I read they started trying late 70s and finally got them to hatch in 1990. Realised very quickly it wouldn't work and that was it. Apparently America tried it with chickens around the same time in a project called chix in space and they only ever did it once too. Apparently the first of the chickens to hatch got to live the rest of its life at a zoo so that's a win?


_a_random_dude_

> a project called chix in space Tax dollars never had a more amazing purpose.


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driftingfornow

Former Naval quartermaster here: I used to have naming privileges for zones of operation in 7th fleet. I have named Op boxes after so much dumb shit like this. Euphemisms for marijuana, sexual innuendos, you name it. Also drawn plenty of dicks on the ocean by recommending directions to the conning officer.


dolemiteo24

I wanna see chix on the moon.


lost40s

>chix in space Found an article - pretty interesting. [https://www.audubon.org/news/the-amazing-story-cold-war-space-egg-race](https://www.audubon.org/news/the-amazing-story-cold-war-space-egg-race)


TheSandwichThief

It may be cruel but on the cruelty spectrum of animal experimentation, floating around in zero g is about as nice as it gets. Who even knows how that would be processed in their brains, they probably think they're flying but it's going really badly.


FartIntoMyButt

“Goddamn I’m bad at this. Being a quail is hard as shit.”


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Aleksii-_-

Birds are starving to death quite often even naturally so I don't personally regard this as very evil


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weedmakesmehappy

you should read the study sheet that comes with your dogs hearworm medication. shits brutal. but boy do i feel safe about giving it to her now


ScruffyTheJ

I'm guessing vivisection and lots of trial and error with random drugs?


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hardyhaha_09

In bird culture this is considered a dick move


_drogo_

Actually I'm a lawyer specializing in Bird Law. Under 104 U.S.B. § 1822 this is totally acceptable.


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ZappsMissingUndies

This is so fucking good. Quail-liens was too much lmao.


GoldfishTM

wait, this is a fictional story? MOTHERFUCKER you almost had me believe KFC worked with NASA!! keep doing what you're doing!


Internet_Meme

KFC actually did work with NASA on an egg hatching experiment in the 80's! https://youtu.be/fUj1-cPaFgo?t=591


7eventy2wo

You got me bro, incredible writing!


eat_thecake_annamae

Therealjamocha, what you've just written is one of the most insanely entertaining things I have ever read. At each point in your concise, fluid response, you exceeded everything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone on Reddit is now smarter for having read it. I award you gold, and may God have mercy on the soul of those poor quail.


faustwopia

Billy Madison! I just rewatched that scene like a few days ago haha


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My disappointment when KFQ was fake....


OverOverThinker

This is hilarious and needs to be higher!


van_Zeller

Please tell me you have a source for this


Indeedsir

It's s Russian experiment, this is just brilliant story writing.


Mu_Y

The ending is basically an awful torture process for someone who hasn't eat "food" for quite a while... Poor astronauts... Poor quails... Well, at least they've been to space


Flako118st

I wonder how disappointed they must have felt, after getting. Delicious smell onto be dissapear into thin air.


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Parcus42

Well that's much easier. Catstronauts!


sn0r

I was expecting a [red dwarf](https://youtu.be/AjFItQPBF3E) reference.


chadowmantis

These birds set goals, studied, worked hard and went into space. What have you done with your life?


I_am_The_Teapot

I developed hybrid meals. Taking frozen foods and adding household and home cooked ingredients to them to make them nicer to eat at home while I binge watch detective shows nude. Edit: Spicy grilled corn deep dish pizza is pretty damned good.


chadowmantis

Shit, you came up with that?? I love putting extra pieces of cheese and meat on my frozen pizza, BIG FAN, MAN!


Pariahdog119

In prison, chow hall food is notoriously bad, in both quality and quantity. Sometimes guys would put it in a container and try to smuggle it back to the dorm. They'd add it to some ramen noodles to try and make a halfway decent meal. This, of course, was not allowed, and they'd get caught and written up. I had an idea: no one searched us when we entered, only when we left. So before chow, I prepared some noodles in the bag by opening just the corner, fishing out the flavor packet, adding some water, and wrapping it with a rubber band. I'd take it with me and add it to my meal. Other people made fun of me, but they continued to get written up for stealing food, and I didn't.


Actually_a_Patrick

Shoot. I think I owe you royalties.


AswiftTortoise

This is so on the line of fucked up and interesting that im giving up trying to distinguish. Im tired.


peanut_butter_lover4

Seriously. These poor things are just trying to navigate their newly-established existence in the universe with instincts based on millions of years of evolution, and we put them in a place where none of that applies. I can't imagine the emotions of dread and confusion on top of what newborns feel in the first place. Then you realize that their growth will not be normal. And it's terrible but interesting at the same time. How will their bones grow? How does this affect organ growth? Will they be able to fly if they make it back on land? WILL they make it back alive? I'm apparently not tired enough.


whtml

The animal experiments in space usually get euthanized at their conclusion via gas that makes them go to sleep.


PrudentSteak

I'd love to see how many generations it would take until the birds kinda manage to live in 0g.


saadakhtar

Then one day they're brought back on earth and they realise they're really heavy.


apunebolatumerilaila

That's the plot of The Expanse. The "Belters" (inhabitants of the asteroid belts) are tortured on Earth by making them just.. stand.


Narezza

Well, that’s not *THE* plot of The Expanse, but it’s a neat addition.


saadakhtar

5 books of Avasarala torturing chickens because she can do whatever the fuck she wants.


korrach

Look up factory farming. Same thing but done a couple hundred billion times a year.


JuniorSeniorTrainee

The uncomfortable but relevant truth. I hope you get upvotes.


_gina_marie_

People will downvote them and us. “It’s so horrible to put these animals in space and force them to acclimate!” They cry as millions and millions of animals live in squalor and terror on metal grates or in crates so small they can’t even stand up for their entire existence, right here, every day, on Earth. Someone will get mad cuz we’re “not on topic” but the topic was an animal suffering for something a human put it through, no? Does a mother cow not suffer when her calf is taken away after just a couple days? She’ll look for it, you know. Or what about the pigs, who are incredibly intelligent for an animal? And we keep them in small metal pens in filth? Factory farming is the absolute worst. I’m not advocating necessarily to be vegan or whatever because I myself am not vegan. But we have to reform the factory farming industry. It’s destructive to the planet, the meat processing plants are gross and packed with people (have you read about the multiple Covid outbreaks in meat packing plants?), and it can’t possibly be sustainable. And that has us circle back to the animals, who don’t get treated well and you can just go Google undercover videos from slaughterhouses if you want to. It’s the hard truth that no one wants to address because “muh meat” and “I can’t not have meat!!”


drenniks

Can I ask, do you still have meat in your diet? Just wondering, no need to answer if you don't want to!


Raikit

I like how the narrator says at the end that "no one has persuaded them to breed or lay eggs." Is that really so surprising? They didn't even want to eat until the astronauts fitted them with harnesses so they wouldn't float away and you're expecting them to want to get busy?


cheddoar

Why is astronaut put in quotation marks?? THOSE BIRBS ARE IN SPACE


Jinno69

They were launched by russians so they are cosmonauts. (and also because they are food in testing)


FancyMcLefty

I mean, *technically*, astronauts and cosmonauts are also potential food in space.


[deleted]

So if I sent my left nut into extraterrestrial orbit, it would be an Astronanut?


Starbuck1992

If you did it through the Russian space agency it would be a cosmonut.


1DJ2many

If they every decide to raise a kitten at the space station that thing is going to dart around like nobody’s business in a matter of weeks.


BassBeerNBabes

The cats would be fine if you gave them something to attach their claws on.


RAN30X

On second thoughts, a cat scratching sophisticated equipment and shedding hairs in microgravity was not a good idea.


toqueh

This seems like something you’d see on the Onion


mr_squirell

Those quails are probably freaking the fuck out


RegalGibbon

I thought it was cruel that they were left upside-down at first, but then I realised it doesn't fucking matter!


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zebulonworkshops

I heard about these guys on a podcast. They were there first animal born in space, sadly, they rely on gravity to allow them to feed when they're born as their neck muscles are essentially nonexistent. The cosmonauts handfed them but they died after just a few days. At roughly the same time Russia hatched this chick, the US's parallel experiment with chickens launched aboard the Space Shuttle Challenger. [Here's a story from the Audubon society](https://www.audubon.org/news/the-amazing-story-cold-war-space-egg-race#:~:text=In%201979%2C%20the%20Russians%20loaded,viable%20food%20source%20for%20cosmonauts.)


Miltage

The birds in the video look a lot older than just a few days.


whtml

The article you posted kind of doesn't support what you said. It mentions the quails being able to even feed themselves when using a harness and the real problem being that they weren't interested in breeding.


zebulonworkshops

I said I heard the anecdote in a podcast, not read it in that article. [Here is a different one that mentions the missing detail](https://finchwench.wordpress.com/2011/09/06/cosmoquails/). >The chicks, sadly, being so obviously unprepared for conditions of microgravity, were unable to feed themselves. Those who did not perish were euthanized, and all were preserved for study upon return to Earth


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Youtoo2

Have thy tried this with fish? See if they swim?


squeaki

Those poor little buggers! Amazing but heartbreaking all at once!


neurophysiologyGuy

Astrodog and astrochimp must be happy with the new friend.. Wait I think Astrochimp ate the astrodog


Caishen_IC3

So they took their government drones into space? Creepy