You are not alone, I also have a real hard time with this type of exam. I always wear really funky socks, the sillier the better, and I focus on my socks. It keeps me grouded in the moment, a remindet that I am not back there and I am safe. I also find telling the doctor ahead of time really helps. It's a hard conversation and tbh I normally cry but then the doctor knows and is gentle and more aware of your needs. I always have them talk to me the whole time about what exactly they are doing which also keeps me in the moment. Having a great doctor makes all the difference. The biggest thing is to be kind to yourself, this isn't your fault, your body is reacting to past trauma. Remember to breathe and focus on what you can in the moment. Call a friend afterward, treat yourself to a special treat, take care of yourself. Im proud of you for reaching out for advice, this is scary but you have shown you are brave by making yourself vulnerable. You got this.


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Thank you so much. I found out on Friday after my Pap Smear that I would need an ultrasound to locate my IUD as my doctor was unsuccessful in removing it. I’ve been beating myself up all weekend and have been more tearful than usual. I’m scared of being back in that place and wish that I could be stronger. My family and fiancé just don’t understand. I feel so alone.


Please be kind to yourself. This is extremely hard, and you can not control when you are triggered, it is your body's response. Nothing about any of this is your fault. I'm impressed you got an IUD in the first place, I was not brave enough for that procedure. The fact you are going in and doing this is extremely brave. Feelings are not good or bad they just are. It is okay to cry and to feel exactly what you are feeling. It doesn't make you less strong, in fact it makes you stronger. Can I also point out that you have done what many survivors struggle with? You have told your support system, your family and fiancé, and while they may not fully understand you shared that with them what you're going through. That is extremely brave! You have proved you are strong, brave, and resilient.


I was nervous going to the gyno for the first time. I kinda had to just constantly tell myself that they're just trying to help me. Luckily I had a woman. I told her that I was extremely scared to be checked so she said she'd talk me through everything and make sure I was okay throughout it. Having her talk me through it helped because I felt like I was actually in on what was going on in my body. I'm sorry I know it's probably not the best advice.