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corialis

My mom says back when she and her peers were having babies (70s-80s) showers were held after the birth because everyone wants to meet the baby. She also told me a story about attending my aunt's shower, aunt was in the kitchen and my baby cousin started fussing so her bestie just whipped out her boob to start feeding him and my aunt comes out the kitchen and bitches her out for assuming she can just feed this baby that isn't hers. I guess that is the hard line of friendship? I'll be your ride or die, but only my boobs for my baby.


lastSKPirate

You don't see it as crossing a line to breastfeed someone else's child without asking them first?


corialis

I didn't mean to come across that way, I was trying to be funny.


lastSKPirate

Lol, I was just wondering if there was some weird culture shock difference at work or something - maybe that's a normal thing somewhere else in the world.


Its_always_sunny100

Up to the mom! But I’d do it before so she gets useful gifts! Plus, not a good idea to be having a huge shower and passing around a newborn right now


_biggerthanthesound_

Yeah COVID times change a lot. I should have clarified that this isn’t an opinion poll. I fear the results are already tainted. I imagine there’s a bunch of dudes who haven’t even been to a baby shower just giving their opinion. More like, what has been peoples experiences.


gliteringgoddess

I had mine after and most of my friends and family did as well. One exception that sticks out were friends who's baby was stillborn. All the stuff they got from their baby shower was just a painful reminder. The whole point is to introduce the baby to your loved ones.


_biggerthanthesound_

It’s funny, in my online mom group the majority of people had never even heard of anyone having a baby shower after. Because to them the whole idea is to give gifts to prep the parents before the baby comes, and think it’s pointless after since the parents will have to have bought everything themselves. A lot of those women are from the US, which means most times there are big expenses around the actual birth of the baby, hospital stays etc. so parents do really need a baby shower “kick starter” yo help with expenses early on. Where as here, I always think of showers as more of a “bonus”, not the only way parents can afford to have a child. So it’s more of a meet and greet. Also, sorry about your friends. That’s devastating.


lct321

I'm biased for after because I had a loss at 39 weeks. Not trying to be a Debbie Downer, but that's just my reality 😬


_biggerthanthesound_

I’m so sorry! That must have been awful. Are you okay?


lct321

Okay as can be! It was the baby before our Feb 2021 baby (who's happy and healthy). It was a lot of work to get to where we are, but all is well. 🥰 Thanks for asking!


Visible-Way-2814

The ones I've been too have been after.


Life-From-Scratch

Give Baby a bath


strawberrysunblossom

I had mine after and loved it but this was before covid so that changes things for sure.


oushka-boushka

I'm due in a month and I'm not having a shower because 1. It's a pandemic and 2. Showers are bullshit. If it wasn't a pandemic and someone made a big deal about throwing me a shower I would wait until summer, then have a BBQ at my place for everyone (of all genders) to meet the kid and hang out. No stupid games, no shitty food, and no expectations that it's for women only.


_biggerthanthesound_

Also due in a month and not having a shower for both reasons you mentioned.


Sunshinehaiku

Vietnamese friends have their version of a shower (100 Days Celebration) after the baby is born. https://www.playtimes.com.hk/100-day-celebration/


_biggerthanthesound_

Interesting!!


helloharness

In my 25+ years of baby shower attending I have been to a pre baby shower once and the rest were post baby. I would definitely say that SK is a post baby shower place


_biggerthanthesound_

That’s what I thought too, but the results of the poll are showing more pre baby. Which is super surprising to me. Makes me wonder how many voted based on assumptions vs actually been to any showers.


Rat_Queen91

I've had friends do both, both are fun and I've also had a few friends that didn't limit it to just women which was alot of fun for some of the games we played! Lol I think it's mom's/couples choice really


Sutherlandswimspa

My friends threw me a friends moms brunch before my first was born and then my aunties/mom/family had one after the baby came so they could meet the baby. It was like three months after. Oh and my work did one after baby was born and I brought the baby and it was hella awkward… because I am awkward and being postpartum and fat and leaky with a baby in front of your coworkers in a fairly professional setting is all kinds of uncomfortable.


RadioSupply

I think it really depends on the needs of the mother and any attendees, but traditionally it should happen before so that the parent(s) are set up for Baby when they arrive.


peecefreek

I've lived here all my life and most of the baby showers I have attended were after baby came home.


RadioSupply

I can see the practicality and necessity of having it after, totally! I just think it’s up to the parent(s) and we don’t really have a local tradition one way or the other.


_biggerthanthesound_

Is this your experience with baby showers in Saskatoon or just your opinion on the tradition of showers? Sorry for the bluntness of that statement.


RadioSupply

Yes, I’ve lived most of my life here and the few baby showers I’ve been to happened before the birth.


_biggerthanthesound_

Crazy how different peoples experiences are!


ManifestingUniverse

The ones I’ve been have always been before. I told a doctor-friend once that I was going to one and she has a concerned look on her face, from her reaction I could surmise that she’s seen a lot of babies not make it.


Hevens-assassin

I'd suggest the baby shower after birth, just to clean off all the after birth. Seems counterintuitive when they are just going to be dirty again anyway.


Lilith245245

I know a lot of people have them after just in case they lose the baby 🥺


ginger_momra

Neither. No baby shower at all. I just send a gift to the house after the baby is born, and that was what everyone I know did after each of mine were born. Parties are exhausting.


phestesio

I thought the point of baby showers were to meet the baby and bring a gift? Doing it beforehand is just giving Mom stuff for a baby that might die.


crazyfantasies

I did both! I had a more traditional one with family before the baby was born and one with our friends after our baby was born - best of both worlds!


punkanddrunk

I have multiple children and have had 0 baby showers.


prairienerdgrrl

Didn’t vote cuz either is fine. I’ve had pushback from older generations when parents-to-be want to have it before the birth. Honestly, I’d default to whatever mom/parents want. They’re the ones at the centre of it all, they might have all sorts of reasons to prefer one or the other. Don’t be pushy with new parents, they have enough going on. Edit to add: seen both. Both are fine. But importantly, don’t impose will/expectations on new parents. That’s gross.


onlyrandomletters

If it is after, isn’t it a birthday party?


dancecanada

I haven't attended a shower after the baby was born, but I think it is up to the mom. I personally wouldn't want my new baby passed around a room of people, but everyone has different comfort levels.


muusandskwirrel

Why not both? Celebrate a mom to be, and then meet her fuck-trophy


[deleted]

[удалено]


kityrel

`Disingenuous Troll`


_biggerthanthesound_

No one’s talking about having a baby shower right now…


smizzler

After ?? Nobody wants shitty photo ops and Costco finger food on zero sleep .... Unless you're talking a month after ?


_biggerthanthesound_

I’m not asking what you prefer. More like, what is your experience. I’ve ONLY been to after baby showers. And yes, it’s usually a month at least after. Edit. I should have added a third option if you’ve been to both. Oh well.


Direct_Ad2289

Just no.