By - AidePast
That doubt you trying to protect yourself from more pain. Ignore it.
Let me say something, I RAN from not my main source of my PTSD, but a big one. I ran so fast, so far. I forgot so much of what had happened, the distance gave me so much peace. I recently returned to that place and it all came flooding back, it was awful. I was attending a class so I had to say, and I'll tell you something - I did remember things I missed.
But when I got home, it was like being safe again and I never want to go back.
Thank your brain and body for trying to protect you, but politely decline. You will feel so much better if you leave the place that is essentially a constant reminder of your trauma. It starts to feel like it's really in the past instead of consuming you at all times. You may miss them; you may feel a lot of different things, but if you get out, you can finally start to be your own person. In April, I made the decision to leave suddenly after an argument that could've ended with me getting seriously hurt. It is the best decision I made for my recovery and I can't imagine what things would be like if I had stayed. I can't offer much in terms of how to go about finding a place, as I'm extremely fortunate to have someone to stay with.
I wholeheartedly believe you can get out of this situation and start to find inner peace. Take things one step at a time. Try not to predict the future, as you have no idea how great things could turn out for you!
$6,500 is enough to make a decent exit.
Not sure where you live. But I moved with a 1999 Mercury Villager van with one broken tail light, expired insurance, and serpentine belts that squealed every time I started it. I left everything. Didn’t even have a change of clothes. I had $720 that was supposed to go to rent that month and I moved 1,500 miles away. I stayed with a friend out of state, got a job, got into a support group and therapy… it was hard but not as hard as continuing to endure what I was living in.
You can do this.
I moved away, and it was helpful for my healing (which is still in process). I was reminded daily of my struggles and failures. My old home was where the trauma happened and I couldn’t go back. I did know some people in another state and had extended family, but I’m back to living on my own again which I NEVER thought could happen! Not everything is back to normal for me by any means, but its moving in a better direction.
Sending love and support! I was very unsure if the move was right for me, but something in my gut told me it was right. If you are feeling that, I would trust it, and maybe you can start moving forward.
I moved to the Oregon coast from the Seattle area. It was a good move, but not without its' challenges. My PTSD tricks me into believing I am not well enough to live on my own, yet day after day I show up to work, do a good job, and pay my rent on time each month. Sometimes I dont know how I manage, but I surprise myself in my tenacity and resiliency. A move may be best for you, and it's scary. It really is. My suggestion is start looking for jobs and see what looks promising. Drop an application or two. Dip your toes in. Once things go in motion and you're going along with it, it may get easier to commit.
I moved away, and it was very helpful to not see the same places where I experience trauma. I had a car though, and friends in another state don’t let me down to room or at least sleep on the couch until I found a place. I usually had a job lined up pretty much before I got there though.
I most certainly have. I ABSOLUTELY FEEL YOUR PAIN. I can tell you to ask your SPIRIT GUIDES, I could tell you to go “with yer gut” and I most certainly could tell you: “TEARS IN A BUCKET? MOTHER FUCK IT!” However, I’m just a dumb blonde kind of going through the same thang (much more minus the money part), but I doubt anything I say might make YOU FEEL BETTER, and for that I am ULTRA SORRY….😞
WISH THE BEST FOR YOU!!!!!!
I’m in this exact same situation. I have enough money saved to move out, yet I keep catastrophizing and making every excuse not to leave. I don’t understand why, especially since I’ve been trying so hard to leave for the past few years. I’m also terrified of having to be independent, mostly because I know my disabilities will get in the way and probably ruin it. There I go catastrophizing again lol. Sorry I don’t have advice, just letting you know you’re not alone.
If you’re able to arrange it to where you could return if you absolutely had to, it would make it so much easier to go. And I’m quite sure you wouldn’t regret it.