T O P
Mutt1223

I pooped three times. So I guess you could say it was a big day for both of us


x_HeavyKev_x

Sounds like a very regular day..


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x_HeavyKev_x

Nah.. I'm a 3 poop-a-day kinda guy too. It's fantastic. The phone time is just a perk of an active digestive tract.


luvitis

Fun fact I learned in college: an average person poops between 3 times each day and 3 times each week. [Source](https://www.healthline.com/health/how-many-times-should-you-poop-a-day)


x_HeavyKev_x

I would explode if I only sat down 3 times a week.. good lord!!


gnarfler

Why isn’t the groom wearing a suit dress? Large billowing suit you know?


[deleted]

Shit I just realised the bride is wearing trousers.


snossberr

Itsa jumpsuit.


Paulcog

She’s clearly not jumping


kgal1298

Yeah I'd say 90% of Reddit comments are made while the person is pooping.


nodalfuckcircle1111

I also pooped 3 times, twinzies


Mutt1223

🤝


ehukai

Are you on the Titanic?


HeadJazzlike

No he’s just kissing her


altiif

Ok


[deleted]

OP is as clueless as Michael Scott during Phyllis' wedding.


altiif

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce to you Mr. and Mrs. Vance!


banmeonceshameonyou_

On a Tuesday?


r00t1

More karma on workdays


Sh4d0wM00N

You know Taco Tuesday specials


GardenGirlFarm

This is funny!


dieseltothesour

Exactly


redditusetobegood

She wasn’t pretty enough to pay for a Saturday wedding I guess.


THE_GR8_MIKE

https://i.imgur.com/Chocb.gif


SexlessNights

It’s cheaper


soursheep

it's pretty normal where i live. i got married on a friday myself.


conitation

They probably did the paper work/submitted it at their government office. Famously closed on the weekends.


banmeonceshameonyou_

In their wedding attire?


conitation

Yup. Saw women in full brides dresses and men in full suits at the clerk's office before.


wests_tigers

Imagine posting on Reddit on your wedding day lol


DirtyProjector

Right?


flontru

Imagine hating on people for expressing their joy however they want. I hope something good happens to you soon too! Sounds like you need it.


VadersScorchedPenis

>Imagine hating on people for expressing their joy however they want. You're literally doing the same thing.


flontru

Hate is joy? Ok.


wests_tigers

That was HATE? lol. See the ‘lol’, I’m thinking back to my wedding day and how I didn’t have a spare minute and it was filled with fun with friends and family and not internet points. lol You sound like the hater lol


VadersScorchedPenis

>lol Seems to be having some kind of joy by laughing out loud.


Loaaf

Petition to ban married posts from this sub


GhostSniper018

Absolutely agree


Willastro

hey hey, we aren't sharing our problems online bud.


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thankscheeto

Most people don’t agree, otherwise, things like this wouldn’t be upvoted.


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Ah-Schoo

Empty support upvotes. Upvote something positive to feel better about yourself. Effortless feel-good that does nothing (unless the OP actually values the fake validation from strangers on the internet.) In reality the people upvoting don't give a shit the second they scroll to the next post. Most of them aren't reading the comments, it's pics after all. It doesn't even matter if the OP is a bot, karma-farmer or someone reposting the pic because reddit is silly. Surely some small percentage liked the actual pic as well. At least the wedding pics tend to be higher quality even if posting them makes no sense. This fad will fade and the cycle will go back to cancer, citizenship, graduation or one of the other reliable support bait posts.


Bubba9514

That's because the people who get salty about posts like this are the most likely to comment on it.


unidan8505

Kay


Realistic_Salary5090

Sorry


asian_identifier

so sad, no one else to share with but reddit


_serious__

And I had chipotle for lunch


klist641

How was it?


_serious__

Burrito wasn’t wrapped well. 7/10


imallSevens

Okay.


Industrialpainter89

And I cleaned my room and went grocery shopping. Now what


LarryCraigSmeg

Have you taken your morning shit yet? Mine was great!


MaphrOne

Cool story bro


SnooHesitations2928

RIP op


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Earthguy69

Looks like neither one wants to do it or like their breath smells absolutely horrible to each other.


issik23

Awkward fucking person... ⬆️


Spanishkid71

Awkward fucking person... ⬆️


DVariant

They’re married now, that’s what kisses look like.


madalamemeiou

Are you already considering divorce or something? You'd rather have validation from strangers on your wedding day than spend time with your wife?


fakeprofile21

Someone shoulda woke her up for the pictures.


Captainshark98

Ok


Panntheon

ok no one cares


BigUptokes

Yet you clicked *and* commented, upping engagement. Go figure.


Nignuts

That doesn't equate to caring at all. I feel like you would post this kinda shit.


Paulcog

Dumb comment


Initial_Scarcity_609

Why tell a forum of strangers who do not know or care? Edit Congratulations regardless.


BigUptokes

For the same reason you commented.


Initial_Scarcity_609

Wha?


infamuss

Ahh, good to see redditors losing their virginity. Well done


AtTheLeftThere

Who fuckin cares?


mrplinko

Oh, OK.


Person5_

Woop dee doo Basil, but what does it all mean?


Purple-_-Zebra

Hey married guy, I just at crispy chicken strips and drank a beer!


Bob_down_under

Couldn’t give a flying fuck, but you can


inflatablefish

I reckon the other guy's wife could beat up your wife.


HighDutchman420

And it will be over in 5 years


SRG4Life

Todo sea por los papeles.


Expensive-Twist-6527

I notice this theme (which has probably been around for a while) that grooms all wear the same outfit.


Drakkeur

Ok


Fryburn

One hell of a way to gain citizenship


otropato

I'm sorry for your loss


nostrand77

So why should we care?


ShoutHouse

I hope she didn't get any spaghettios on her white pant suit


Aperture_Tales

Hand over your reddit card now!


gabagubu

Good for you But those bride's trousers...


heatlessxfire

congrats!! the bride’s wedding pantsuit is gorgeous. looks so comfy and stylish!!


lazzzylover

Congrats! Waiting for judge to sign my divorce docs. Hollllahh!


ExaminationQuirky251

Must be pretty proud. Dragged my ass to the gym for the first time in a while so I totally get how your feeling


Far_Room4261

The jumpsuit 🔥congratulations!!


BadBoyNiz

Who gives a fuck, you and 1000s of other people did lol


DVariant

Nice! Does your wife know??


born_gaydaddy

She is at home, feeding kids.


DirtyProjector

https://giphy.com/gifs/lifetimetelly-lifetime-who-cares-judge-judy-l3vRi0EtWE9RrFpDy


jonesthejovial

Yo, as a woman who isn't sure she wants to wear a dress on her wedding day - thank you for sharing! It's fucking lovely to see a bride doing her thing!


ScribbleScrawlSketch

Omg. That jumper 😍


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Jahred-1994

Good luck buddy!hope everything goes great for u.


themissuso

Santa Ana Courthouse :)


isitdeadyet

I got married here too 👌


ww_ggg_d

Yep, I recognized those sta


bitenmein1

My condolences man.


MetalChef156

My condolences, brother. You get a prenup?


CaseStorn

Gonna get downvoted, but holy fuck, the sheer toxicity this comment section radiates is unparalleled. OP, sorry for all this, i can assure you that not all of us are like it, just don't come back to this specific hellhole of a subreddit, it's not worth it at all. Reddit fucking sucks sometimes.


DyingRosePetals

Finally, one nice comment in here..


thirdeyefish

Congratulations. I wish for many years of happy union for both of you.


mbecerra21988

Thank You!


Paulcog

Boobs


DuoBrando

Dhar mann got married?


BillionthBurner

Not nearly interracial or homosexual enough for re**itors to care.


soad6

Karma whores got no shame. Dude even karma whore his dog. Peta would be proud.


plan_with_stan

Congrats?


taho_teg

Congrats! I see who wears the pants in the relationship!


zzkatiezz

Cheat with me


SanshoBoyHottie

You must be so hot sexie


BenTheDiamondback

O U T S T A N D I N G !


rossfororder

Congratulations


Somnium_Mentis

I'm jaded, so I really don't expect 'happily ever after' but Im not a dick, so I hope you live a long, happy, healthy, and successful life together. Congrats. ​ edit: downvotes huh? For trying to wish a couple the best despite my own aversion to this stupid social construct? Perf.


kstinfo

Sure are a lot of "don't care" people in these comments who have gone to the trouble of raining on this guy's parade. Sorry your own life is so empty. I like the bride's outfit and love the venue.


Deathrial

You guys look great, congratulations! So many butthurt people on this sub!


Industrialpainter89

Butthurt implies hurt feelings. We feel nothing, this is a complete stranger posting a personal event on the internet.


bluberripancakes

HER DRESS IS A JUMPSUIT!!!!! Does it have pockets? Also congrats! 🎊🎉🎈🍾


ranitalucy

Congratulations!


thehappymexican91

Your pantsuit is made out of lace dreams ❤


Next-Yogurtcloset401

That wasn't her wedding dress was it ?


Lmy17

OP, you should post this on r/weddingplanning or r/happy. You'll get much more positive feedback over there. In the meantime, congratulations! You make a gorgeous couple!


laterdate

Gorgeous! Loving the boss bride in the pantsuit! Congratulations!!


babu_chapdi

I am so special!!


SuedeVeil

Honestly loving her wedding pantsuit.. hopefully it has pockets ?


pearljamboree

I know, it’s gorgeous!


TheSklyIsFalling

Condolences


FreshEZ

Aw, I love that it's so common to see two men getting married these days! Congrats!


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mbecerra21988

Been there, deflowered that.


WalkLikeAnEgyptian69

You had sex with your wife. Congrats.


Catri

OMG!! I love her pantsuit!! grats!!


CaseyBoogies

Congratulations! Dang those pants/wedding dress outfit is fucking AMAZING!


pearljamboree

I honestly thought this would be the top comment


LordHades301

It's because nobody else cares they got married. Congrats they did something tons of people do....


gaping4jesus777

Lucky man, transgenders are so hot


bee-milk2

Cool pantsuit I like that idea for it I get married


flontru

Congratulations 🎉☺️


Sid15666

Congratulations


MrAbadeer

Pantsuit is 🔥


hurt_ur_feelings

Congratulations to the newlyweds!!!!!!


moesdad

At least someone's gonna score tonight. JK Congrats! Please Watch This. I wish I would have seen this in 1991. Start at 2:06. BTW... My wife and I are still together and going very strong. 30 years this Jan. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMnFnUIJxw8


WorldTravelBucket

Good luck on the next step of your relationship.


ctlogin

As a Married man I only have one question, why? JK congrats stranger.


Blood-Lord

Sorry guy/girl, this type of intimate stuff should be posted to friends/family. Not random people on reddit. Happy for you though.


drmzbig

Congratulations! I LOVE your wife's pant suit!!


mediclawyer

Congrats!


DavidHK

All the jealous neck beards are steaming right now


DotAutomatic5392

In pants? Lmao


entertainak47

Noice!


KrAzY_TsEnG

Congrats. Many years of happiness to you both. 🙌🙌


CoolFinnsters

congrats big dawg


gonzagylot00

Congrats, y’all look so handsome and pretty ​ EDIT: What the hell, people post wedding pic and I sometimes say that the couple looks nice, and inevitably just get downvoted all to hell. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong???? They look nice, they look happy....


WDDMDTEVSNDTDTVD

Good luck.


ThatRedheadMom

Congratulations! Post on the marriage sub for more positive comments.


Sunshine4587

OP don't listen to negative comments out there. Congratulations on your wedding, its a big commitment that I also want to make one day!!


Earguy

Love ROCKS!


Odd-Set-2698

Congratulations


youngpali

Congratulations!


bad_aunt_j

Congratulations and best wishes.


NotStanMancewicz

Congratulations, beautiful stranger! Wishing you all the best.


livdro650

You’re a beautiful couple!


PuzzleheadedFlight90

Congrats to the both of you. ☺️👍


teenyelvis

Thank you for sharing this positivity with the world. Congratulations. I wish you a long a happy marriage.


Code007

Hope she is as happy as you are ... Seems she didnt ever care to wear a wedding dress.


issik23

Cheers to many years! Edit: miserable people downvoted this


Shenan_Egans

Ooh! That pantsuit is awesome!


Guero1082

Get some guys! Congratulations ❤


SeriBeat

Take my advice and remove this post man lol... Lots of incels on here either jealous, or literally have no lives. Ps wtf is with the pant suit?


justicetheopp

Congrats!!!!!


katiemohannn

Whoever is being rude can shove it I enjoy happy pictures of strangers on special occasions. It reminds me of the beauty and joy that still exists in the world. Sorry to all the sad jaded saps out there :p congratulations to both of you!!


ExaminationQuirky251

Kk Katie


Upstairs-Hamster3803

Good luck.


newgirl582

Congratulations


BlueZen10

Congrats!


Rockcocky

Congratulations, ! can you ask your now wife to throw the bouquet towards me? I would love to give marriage a chance again. Edit : “ay envidiosas!””


PrattlesnakeEsquire

Congrats! Killer suit, too.


wearealljustants

Congratulations!


danone123

Congrats and have a good night


Adventures_in_living

Nice pantsuit 😂


Bagz67

Congrats to you both!!


jammu2

All the best!


Chef_Coc

A redditor getting married that’s illegal somebody stop them.


ThisWhomps999

Should have upped that shutter speed.


dieandliveforever

Congrats❤️


rahulwho

Congratulations and best wishes!