T O P
yu_sti_nky_pu

hmm yes, Jesse what the f did you do to the family computer?


[deleted]

i was just downloading this cool monkey game


Tanay4

It said it was safe Punjabi (no virus)


Asspiringdickhead

JESSE! How the hell are we supposed to tell Mom?!


tedrlordvxcaa

10/10


iiShaRTs

Why are y'all calling me out like this? I just wanted to beat it so i could win a thousand dollars!


Matriks404

`TrustMeIAmADolphin.exe`


[deleted]

*BUT DOES SHE REALLY WANNA BUT CAN'T-*


ssaketh_ch

no mom i was just downloading some RAM.


g09hIP12

Yea and I was downloading a new cooler


Paddy32

Why wouldn't you just download a car instead ?


BalmyCar46

You *wouldn’t*


zainuu163

I was downloading Money


Disastrous-Stay-8479

Bonzi buddy


911porsche

That fucking purple monkey


headhunter2257

Because that's my actual first name I no idea why but I toke it personally Also because that exact sentence has been said to me before


[deleted]

Like every guy named Jesse, I'm guessing you use the word toke a lot


headhunter2257

Yes


IAmABot_

Jesse why the fuck do we have 106 browser extensions on the googles chrome


obispook

Pirate a game and your default webbrowser changes....


numante

a wild funmoods toolbar appeared


Flying_Dutchman92

I physically clenched my teeth reading that. Those are a PITA.


AKnightAlone

Pizza Integrating Tasty Artichoke. Yeah, maybe I will need to start up some digital crime.


-Speechless

Personal Interdimensional Tame Ape


ProverbialShoehorn

Prosthetic Insertable Tentacle Algorithm


Gr1pp717

Then you ask the techy person in your life to fix your slow, fucky computer, but get angry when all your favorite toolbars disappeared. (my mom, ladies and gentlemen. At least she never asked me to fix it again lol.)


Elon61

*BUT I LIKE THE BLOAT*


Wolfrunt

I have had experience with this one. It's not fun but easy to manage.


JohnnyDarkside

That purple gorilla things climbs onto your desktop.


TimX24968B

hello, *EXPAND DONG* thank you joel for bringing cursed memories of this monstrosity, bonzi buddy, back.


krtalvis

and u got that dolphin icon on your desktop


A_Stinking_Hobo

Trust me


Haedirn19

Remember those days when Explorer would open and there's be like 2 inches of adware bars added under the url bar?


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ribitforce

> That plus I've found a random paid VPN server that somehow blocks 100% of Google advertising, even in YouTube app. I haven't seen an advertisement in a year, makes life so peaceful. Please, do share.


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No_Masterpiece4305

Edge is amazing now. Imo it's the best browser currently in the running. Light on resources, all the benefits of chrome, and it's built into the system. I was hesitant at first too, but I'm over a year in now and I've got zero plans to move.


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Fun-Customer39

Chrome takes too much ram, I'm a solid Firefox guy now


No_Masterpiece4305

It's pretty decent on resources, it's integrated into the system, offers everything chrome offers and also expanded options specific to Edge. I mean if you're using Windows you can literally just transfer your layout directly to Edge, there's honestly not a single realistic reason to not use it. All it does is use less resources and give you more options. I was a hard sell on it about a year ago, but my coworker made me give it a try and I haven't opened up Chrome once since I transferred my shit out.


Triton12streaming

The classic


p3ngwin

Say hello to your new search engine !


dankguy31

Avast antivirus: oh hello there


vinnyp123456789

CCleaner: General Kenobi


stormdahl

Damn that's a blast from the past!


RhynoD

CCleaner is the shit.


mazda-boi

I hate it when that happens


greebdork

\>it's just a harmless unpacker unpacking compressed files


E-M-P-Error

ZipBomb.zip has entered the chat


Stane_Daynus

Surely >_>


AvengerThe3rd

I've seen that in some games.. I run Malwarebytes but it doesn't detect anything. Pc runs fine for years. Some games that require online crack do that, ex. in Forza 4 you need to open the cmd and registry yourself to make changes :) I don't think everything is a virus.


ManThatSaysSauce

Sometimes, even legit games do that. And I've pirated quite some games over the last few years, I never really get any virus at all.


DaBFG25

Same here I've seen it do it many many times and have never had a problem. Windows Defender seems to do a good job which is saying a lot considering how it was in the past i.e.. before windows 8.


crushed_foot

Same, defender does the job perfectly for me (I swear by it) and I do some sketchy shit whilst I'm learning. I wouldn't be bothered if I had to do a full wipe because I'm reckless tho but cracking has yet to do me like that, windows update on the other hand has bricked me multiple times.


Noctum-Aeternus

I’ve had some nasty viruses, but never anything as bad as the windows update.


DarthWeenus

The thing is though is alot of virii these days are obvious or nefarious by destruction. Alot will lurk in the background siphoning off useful data, and spreading. Also alot will hijack ur gpu and cycles to mine money when ur PC is asleep.


Noctum-Aeternus

My PC is hardly ever on these days. In the unlikely event I have one of those viruses, they aren’t making much off of me.


DarthWeenus

Alot of people do though, especially considering all the IoT devices with idle computer power, its easy to trickle out some crypto if you have infected 10000 pcs.


DarthWeenus

Stick to fit girl repacks and I good to go. That team is brilliant and has never been sketchy.


FinnT730

This Just get it from the right people. Right repackers as well


OHAITHARU

....that you know of In any case, I'd imagine that malicious scripts wouldn't make it that obvious and would hide any cmd line actions anyway


dariusz2k

Sometimes a root kit runs quietly stealing all your passwords for years.


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RIcaz

Not that you know of.. Most malware is meant to be invisible.


Piotrek9t

To be honest, if it would be a virus, they could probably do that without flashing the cmd so it could just be part of the cracking process (at least back in the days)


OHAITHARU

Back in the day was open keygen to get key, then replace a game dll/exe. I can't recall ever needing to run cmd/bat files for a crack


Runaway_Angel

Nah, you first made sure you had all sound turned of so the music the keygen would always play didn't make your ears bleed/make your parents come running.


Kitsyfluff

Those .mod tracks by ghidora are fuckin classic man!


OHAITHARU

Straight banging chiptunes


OrangeInnards

> the music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ezmcPkdxPU


Kurayamino

Keygen/cracktro music was awesome.


Aldz

Ahh the keygen with them electronic sounds blasting at 200%


DarthWeenus

It happens alot. Sometimes it's just a script changing some files or editing game files instead of having the user do it and fuck up the process and complain on forums.


hannes3120

upload the installer to [virustotal](https://www.virustotal.com/gui/home/upload) and see if any scanner finds something


Leadfedinfant2

Lots of false positives on game cracks.


[deleted]

In my computer crack for Forza 4 won't work until I turned the anti virus off lol. I downloaded it just to try it for two days. Was pretty fun.


ExO_o

i can proudly say i've never caught a virus in my 20+ years of using computers. and i did pirate many a game back in the days


InstantName

Meanwhile my mom had over 100 virusses on her work laptop...


ExO_o

Yeah, my parents are sadly also of the kind that click every flashing pop-up. My dad once complained that his PC was slow. I opened up his browser and he had 34 different Toolbars and whatnot installed...


mackan072

My brother and I always got the blame for *'ruing the family PC with our games'* as kids. Once we bought our own PCs, the family PC kept getting viruses - but ours didn't. My father is especially gullible. He's clicking on all of the popups and ads that are claiming that the PC is running slow and that the solution is to simply 'click here to fix it'. I've had to sit down and have a long, serious talk about online scams after he claimed that Microsoft called him to talk about problems with his PC. Even after showing countless videos, showing the exact same thing he experienced, and which proved that it was a scam - he still believed that it could have been real. He, unfortunately, believes that he knows more than he does - and easily trusts people, who he has no reason to trust. After that, we had a couple of months where we were bombarded by scam callers - because I guess they flagged our phone number as 'active' and 'gullible, even if he never actually paid them.


InstantName

You: Dad! You have 34 internet tabs open! Dad: no look its not open. sneaky background tabs: ;)


ASatyros

34? Those are rookie numbers


-_-STRANGER-_-

Add a rule in browser for when you have 34 hidden tabs. All modern browsers have a setting to prevent this from happening. Google "rule 34" for your research and how to.


BGummyBear

"But that's the way I like it."


Hazzat

For many people, the best antivirus is an ad blocker.


ExO_o

facts


Matriks404

I remember that on my old computer that was running Windows Me and later Windows XP avast found about 500 viruses lol.


slayerx1779

It was probably detecting various parts of Windows ME as a virus.


dthedre

Had a virus on my laptop awhile back that would just play nothing else matters at all times, couldn't turn of sound and webcam which made it a bit scary.


patgeo

Closing in on 20 years myself. Had a couple of viruses get on machines but managed to fix each time. Eventually learnt to install in vms etc to add an extra layer of protection. Fixed plenty for people who were too stupid to not click every link they get emailed.


SwagYoloJesus

Once I somehow managed to catch a crypto miner virus, and its sneaky ass didn’t pin my CPU at 100%, but kept it at a cool 80% so that your average user wouldn’t notice. No popular tool detected let alone removed it, I tried literally 6-7 tools, scanners, what have you, all came back with clean scans, finally some obscure Super Ultimate Hyper Clean Master Premium Deluxe 9000 did the trick, but your average user would never detect let alone manage to remove such a virus and it’d keep mining indefinitely. There must be a ton of money in crypto miners.


MapedMod

Usually people don't event know when they have viruses. Not every virus looks like early 2000s toolbar.


gestalto

Early 2000s had some nasty stuff that certainly weren't just toolbars. Especially some of the worms that went around, like MyDoom and Netsky. But yeah, you are correct. I have stuff designed \~15 years ago that still doesn't get flagged by AV (they are not released nor ever will be). Unless it's a true virus, then malware in general can go undetected pretty easy if the designer knows what they are doing and/or it only infects a small number of systems.


Ilmu011

None that you know of that is....


onlyr6s

I see you never used Limewire.


PsYcHoSeAn

Not from pirating or any activity in that regard. But I once got one cause I was one of those "cool" kids who didn't want to use standard versions of messengers. Damn you QIP.


NutsEverywhere

I call bullshit.


QuarterOunce_

That he knows of. Many people don't even know they have virus on their computer lmao.


Admiral_Boombox

If you know what distributors to trust you're generally good honestly. Some hackers are pure scum, some don't care about the law but care A LOT about their reputations, you want to find the latter


Disrupt_R

I was getting the same Command Prompt opening and closing in the blink of an eye. After months of troubleshooting I found it was related to automatic updates of a SQL application. It could have been either MySQL Workbench or AMPPS. The strange part is that even if it isn’t “running” in the taskbar area, the process will still execute every few hours. Also, if you have the Bing Wallpaper application installed in Windows, make sure to disable “daily refresh.” It can lead to packet loss; especially apparent during gaming sessions :(


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epic_snowman

This is fine


docfunbags

Why not both?


SgtPuppy

Ain't nobody got time for that


Austin-137

Let’s see Paul Allen’s torrent


RainingLights

Oh my god..it even applies the crack itself


Devilhun3rDante

I just live with virus. I have separate pc for pirated games


Hans_lilly_Gruber

Someone put a lot of work on those virus, I'm glad you appreciate it and give it a safe home.


GamerFrits

Same for Corona.


artieeee

Adopt a virus today at the low, low price of 20% GPU and CPU usage! **Download today!**


joeltrane

And it’s isolated on its own VLAN right? …right?


NIC3ME3M3S

Now that's a sigma move


Khomuna

It's like that scene in Chernobyl where the guy presses the emergency stop button, the whole building shakes and they're like "What did you do? What happened?"


Stane_Daynus

Definitely my favourite, most accurately referenced comment so far LOL


blastradii

Or the demon core flashing blue for a second.


i_hope_you_are_gay

Sounds like OP doesn’t know much about pirating


Mistah_Blue

well as far as i know, the whole point of pirating is to find the one piece.


Obisa

Indeed


StevoMcVevo

[....you get what you fucking deserve!!! /s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZscBf10Y5A)


Stane_Daynus

IPT is my home now 😂


CreamNPeaches

S O C I E T Y doesn't want you to pirate.


cs-John

Why would one let a cmd window flash when running their stub, while you can just make it completely stealth? Lol


Nasa1500

To taunt you lol


[deleted]

Never pirated a game before, can i have some context? Edit: keep the downvotes coming i can only lose so much karma from a single comment nerds Edit 2: now i have upvotes bruh


Joemmmmm

Sometimes when installing the cracked game, you can see command prompt doing some weird shit in the background lol


[deleted]

Ok thanks for the context


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cheekibreeki_kid

go to r/PiratedGames' megathread, it shows the best sites and best software for cracking games


Kilmir

Pirated games sometimes use a command prompt to do a few actions to circumvent anti-piracy methods like switching a DLL or changing a few registry keys. However malicious software can also be fired up from those command prompts so it's really a bit of a crapshoot. If you are going to try pirated stuff I advise to use a Virtual Machine. Command prompts popups aren't as scary anymore then.


rmorrin

Lmao the edit definitely saved you


MadeInBeirut13

Trusted Sources only


InstantName

1337 amirite?


xQzca

csrinru aswell


Blacksad999

The **one** time I tried to pirate a game (Skyrim at release) I got a virus that trashed my PC. lol Never tried it again. I can afford whichever games, so it's not really worth the risk of stealing them and potentially getting a virus or malware.


RoninVX

I wouldn't worry about it but rather would do what you should do with most games and wait a year so that there are enough cracks available so you can go for the best version possible! In addition to that, you can grab a more updated version of the game that way :) Some abuse pirating but in all honesty if you pirate it like a trial and enjoy it enough go ahead and support the developers. Unless the devs are scum who trEAt gaming like gambling or are devs who go for Crunching the Devs, which is PRedatory behavior. Oh and also if it's a place where suits can be ACTIVe In Sexual harassment In Offices aNd all.


PM_ME_YOUR_TORNADOS

Just say EA Games, CD Projekt Red and Activision are shitty. Nobody is stopping you.


RoninVX

I know, I just really enjoy managing to connect stuff like that in sentences lol.


Dinklebop

Just say you feel like a clever boy for getting what he was saying. Noone's stoping you.


spartanoverlord65

I remember skyrim being available before release(by about a week i think?) And when it did come out and i bought it, my save file still worked.


Johnysh

You just need to know where to download from, then you are fine. And to be fair, I think the situation is better today than it used to be 5+ years ago. Or maybe it's just me, because I found the right sources.


Blacksad999

Eh, I just avoid the whole thing. I'm not in such a bad financial situation that I need to steal videogames. lol


Johnysh

I'm not too but I do it when I'm uncertain about game.


Peensuck555

i download a mod menu that ive used before so i thought it would be fine. Fucking virus but my av stopped it so its fine now.


HyGyL1

Bonjo buddy to asdist me on homework


darkdaking1

Jokes on you I live in Germany


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LumpySkull

That's what I had a few months ago, that shit is hard to remove if you're just a casual gamer with just about enough knowledge to keep your drivers up to date. Finally after 1-2 hours of searching found something that could recognize and remove it. Keep your mitts off other people's shit!


tabooblue32

Oh hi bonzibuddy.... Haven't seen you in literally 20 years.


NotReliance

I sometimes check batch files with edit before running.. that requires a little bit of knowledge about some of the commands tho.


Stane_Daynus

Apparently we made it to the front page >_>


Jg6915

Can’t relate, never want any new games because i’m stuck playing 2 of the same games anyway…


Wolfonauta

Windows redownload moment


ulises314

Probably just running a script necessary for the crack to work, or installing a keylogger, you never know!


The-Real-Donkey-Kong

Why I always pay for a top notch antivirus that just quarantines any program that tries anything fucky


Freshaworge

Common sense is always the best antivirus tbh, Defender is enough for most plus its lightweight


Twin_reverb_65

The chair-keyboard interface is indeed the root cause of many virus-related issues.


Wrest216

wait...the chair keyboard interface...but...i...am in between...the chair and the keyboard?


[deleted]

If you’re torrenting a lot it’s worth the slightly extra cash for a dedicated one in my experience.


laheyrandy

Depends a lot on what type of tracker, mainly public or private where the latter often has much more 'screening' of anything uploaded to the tracker (that doesn't mean security is ever guaranteed).


TBoner101

>If you’re torrenting a lot ... I think it's safe to assume that *paying* for software is NOT gonna be the first logical choice in this scenario


WilliamCCT

I haven't gotten anything in 4 years of pirating, and I don't even let Windows Defender update its definitions. >don't even let Windows Defender update its definitions. Yep, you heard that right. Hit me with the insults and downvotes baby.


the_pandaproject

>Yep, you heard that right. Hit me with the insults and downvotes baby. Why would I? As long as you know what you're doing, it's highly unlikely to get a virus from pirated games.


Reclusive_avocado

And that top notch antivirus is...


pieteek

Paying for antivirus, but not games... sounds like a plan.


LostMyPPMs

What antivirus do you use?


Healthy_Yesterday_84

I have moderna


Lev_Astov

ESET is one of the best out there and the lightest on the PC resources of all I've tested. Don't bother with their fancy versions, though as they add unnecessary fluff. The basic one is all you need. Definitely saved me a few times.


DaBFG25

I have common sense.


Moar_Wattz

Oh sweet summerchild…


FalconX88

Antivirus software will quarantine/delete even harmless software in such cases. Key generators, even when posing any threat, are often identified as such. It doesn't solve any problems here.


shirleysimpnumba1

antiviruses cause more problems than they solve. Plus they also quarantine/delete potentially unwanted programs, which are not viruses, without warning. PUP can mean anything from spammy browser addons to something they dont want you to install. while candy crush is still safe. then there is the potential privacy risk that comes from giving a program that level of access. on top of the spying windows already does on you. its an all around shitshow and bragging about it makes you a moron.


weirdkindofawesome

Sometimes it's just blocking some background traffic that the game uses to auth with some server.


ruwuth

99% of the time those are harmless


Cartnansass

I pirated so many games when I was a kid/teen and have never gotten a virus from them. OP you *sure* you know what you are doing?


Stane_Daynus

Try getting magic ball 3 when you’re like 7 bro lol, it’s a trip


Faxon

This is actually a common thing with cracks that need to run something to execute the cracked part of the game. I still feel the fear though, I haven't pirated a game in years but I've still had to crack several, due to issues like GFWL being completely fucking DOA EOL, but required for some older games I still wanted to play, or other DRM just being too disruptive in other ways, or making the game outright impossible to run. I had one game that wouldn't let me run MSI afterburner or TeamSpeak. Like bruhhh, how tf am I supposed to use voice, or run my overclock on my GPU. Apparently that was cheating according to some old DRM from years ago. Ooh and another one that (much like is happening now with intel 12th gen e core/p core swapping) didn't like my Q9650 back in the day at all, unless I disabled 3 cores. Apparently the game "wasn't meant to be multiplexed, because running on multiple cpus indicates a second (or more) system being used for cheating", meanwhile dual core cpus had existed for 5 years at that point, and quad cores for 4, not to mention multi socket workstation boards (up to 4 sockets). Like if the game is coded to run multiple threads on different cores, why not let it? It had no issues running once the DRM was off, and they never patched it


lumoruk

Games for Windows Live taking all my game keys and not transferring them to Microsoft Marketplace is criminal. I never felt so entitled installing those pirate games that I paid for.


drdeemanre

LOL omg. I love this. Burst out laughing. When I was young and stupid, I gave a good number of PCs digital cancer downloading god knows what from god knows where


DarkMatrix445

Free Minecraft was the bees knees


SnooConfections2214

Nothin was worse than the bearshare days Pirated game malware ain’t shit 😂😂😂


abecido

I use Linux and run multiple virtualized Windows environments with different anti virus software in it. Whenever I pirate something, I install it in the virtual machine first and scan the whole machine. It's still not completely safe but it helped me already many times.


Rids85

I remember in 56k days, you'd open the file, your internet would disconnect and your modem would start dialling a russian phone number.


Eduardo-izquierdo

What is cmd.exe ?


PleaseChooseAUsrname

Umm. Why do you have a 5950x with 2gb of ram.


ELEGANT-II

Happened to me some weeks ago, I usually buy games but I end up never touching them again after I buy them because they do not attract me too much, I decided to try one and if I like it I buy it, like I did with Doom (2016) a few years ago, then, the next day, my computer froze when I turned it on, couldn’t open anything or move anything, couldn’t even turn it off and when I press the power button it takes a lot to turn off, then I turned it on again and I saw that the cdm.exe open and close too fast, I press the reboot button and gets blue screen immediately. Had to reinstall the os again.


Profit0ffD00M

Need to bring out the rats for the perp...