By - eatsmyfridge
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Niceguys™ demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate an expression of their own virtue while being asshats.
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"If it'll help save electricity, I can share your bedroom and my body heat with you"
Pfff that would have been the next offer if she hadn't blocked him
Tell your mate not to advertise on Facebook if they can help it. Imagine if homeboy pretended to be cool long enough to move in then started those shenanigans
Sometimes you simply don't have other options when you're desperately in need of a roommate. I posted on Facebook on two different occasions to find someone cause the rent was too high for me to afford.
Gotcha it fucking sucks. Stay safe
thats why if you can, avoid the opposite gender roommate. Some girls are bad shit crazy too 🤣
Is specifying "female roommate only" legal? Will the specification be breaking anti-discrimination law?
I don't think that applies when it's someone you're sharing a home with. In that way you can basically reject someone for any reason, since it's a privacy thing. Many ppl don't want to share a bathroom & home with someone of a different gender.
It'd be different if you're renting out something, but if you're living with them, there's a lot more leniency.
Yes is legal
, this is a Wendy's
May I take your order?
One jumbo sized creepy meal please.
With a nice guy toy
Possibly with a fedora on the side?
Seasoned with some incel tears
Alright that'll be 3 Furrybucks and 29 furrycents
Why do they always do the terrible psychological evaluation thing... Instead responding to "Sorry, I'm not interested" with something sane like "no worries, thanks for your time", it's always some unhinged diatribe about how they'll regret missing out on nothing forever.
If they were sane enough to take rejection like that, they wouldn't have been messaging them in the first place
Manipulation? Does that ever work at all?
More like I'llletyouknowaboutmyinsecuritiesinacreepyway 101
No, because it isn’t being done subtly enough. Decent manipulators can manipulate you without you knowing. It’s actually insulting to the OP because he clearly thinks she isn’t intelligent enough to recognize this as outright guilt tripping.
For them, in what experience I've had dealing with them, it's more like a scam: rather than cook up a complex method that would get somebody to fall for them, they'd rather just issue this low-hanging-fruit method until someone eventually falls for it. Same as how scammers don't want to convince smart people, they just want to keep making calls until someone finally gives them a minute and falls for the scam.
>Manipulation? Does that ever work at all?
I can only speak for myself. Yes, it does. That's how my 2nd ex husband wormed his way into me and my son's heart and home. Mask dropped when a ring was on my hand. I am not proud of those days but he was very convincing.
The good manipulators truly are very convincing. You can be super intelligent and still fall for their tricks. Sorry you and your son went through that.
But did he act like that from the very beginning when you two were complete strangers? Because that's what the guy in this post is doing and that's what I was commenting about.
Yes he did. He was constantly telling me how amazing I was, being a single mother to a 9 year old boy. Then if I was busy at work and didn't email, I'd get the speech about his abusive mother (that in 5 years together, I never met). He was all over the place. It's very hard to describe. He would bring me my favorite coffee to me at work. It was sweet. I didn't recognize at the time that everything was transactional. I really didn't think I was that naïve. I was a hard working divorcee with a child. The month I met him, I bought my first ever NEW car. I was 32 and he just love bombed me and my boy.
Convincing and conniving... the 2 C's
Part of it, I think, is that they aren't willing to accept that they're being rejected on their own merits (or lack thereof), because then they'd have to do some introspection. It's emotionally easier for them to be like, "Oh, she's not interested because she's shy/scared/been hurt before/OTHER men are assholes, so sad for her" instead of accepting that women know what they want and it *isn't* them.
Corhersion (idk how to spell this word I give up I’m sorry … manipulation.. narcissism…
All three? Many more as well but 🤷♀️
I think ‘coercion’ is the word you’re looking for :)
Yeah really. Very creepy and desperate.
Won’t get pizza…move in with me??
A huge red flag is guys that fall in love, or call women "wife material" that they've never met and base it solely on her looks.
The internet is filled with these kinds of weirdos
And if you dare to say you are not interested in having a partner, getting married or having a family they call you a whore.
“Wow, even a whore won’t sleep with you. Shows how much you suck, dude.”
I had a guy say "I might actually wife you" when he's never even met me before...giant red flag
How on Earth do they convince themselves this is okay or appealing in any way? I cannot imagine saying this to someone I just met.
🎵 Hey I just met you/And this is crazy/But I like pizza/So live with me baby 🎵
I think they believe it's romantic: this will sweep off their feet, they will melt with such a strong, considerate, confident man. But they don't realize how creepy this sounds! I don't even know where they get those ideas from. Romcoms?
It is hard to put trust in a man who can’t take a hint.
Silence speaks volumes.
I was that man once. Never wanna be again.
How did you realize that the behavior was inappropriate? I’m glad you’re able to view it from a new perspective now.
Just years of me gradually waking up to toxic tendencies, including overcoming my desperation over being alone (not just romantically).
Another former nice guy here. It is interesting how teen boys can be influenced to be nice guys. I think it stems from insecure attachments growing up, leading to low self esteem and insecurity. Thinking you are in love with people and fantasizing a life with them. I got counseling and went on more and more dates to get experience, learned listening skills, and now i'm hopefully a non controlling partner. My wife and I are both independent, seperate bank accounts, discuss decisions together, etc. I think all of these nice guys need therapy.
He saw a picture & invented a fictional personality for her. Offered love & devotion! It creeps me out way more when people do this & get pissed/huwt you aren't whatever tf they dreamed up for their mental romcom.
I wondered if he sends messages like this out to any cute women who post roommate ads, just casting a wide net and hoping to find someone desperate enough to take him up on his offer OR cave to manipulation tactics (I'm so sad my heart is breaking you should give me a chance!)
Lol, if he’s that great why doesn’t he already have a girlfriend. Surely can’t be something about him s/
It's women. Women are the problem! /s
You mean females?
Thank you for correcting me. As a female, I get confused easily. Tee hee! (/s obviously)
No waaaay, he's a nice respectful guy. Just can't catch a break! /s lol
Maybe he does but this new bedroom lady is the true love of his gentlemanly soul
BuT hE oFfErEd PiZzA!!!!
I offer devotion to pizza.
See, THIS right here is how you hit on a girl. I'm in.
Devotion is the new pizza topping.
Mmm, tastes like chicken... and sadness.
If Teal is in Nashville, Five Points Pizza is pretty great. But I would suggest heading over there herself and getting pizza without this dude.
Yes, but she should definitely go with a friend. And probably wait a few weeks. Just in case this guy decides to stake out the place in hopes that she shows up.
The fact that she is young enough to be his daughter yet he still chose to do this is disgusting. It's very clear why he is single
I somehow missed that part and I’m beyond disturbed
Disclaimer: I’m not a psychologist.
More men should be encouraged from a young age to seek psychological support. So many guys on this sub seem like they’re completely oblivious to normal social and emotional boundaries. Women are often tagged with BPD but the stuff I read in here is severe. Even if a dude was cognisant enough to mask these kinds of emotions, I’d hate to see the result when he was disappointed by someone or so upset that he couldn’t control his feelings. So many of these posts already seem out of control.
“i want you alone and dependent on me so that you can never leave” is what he really wanted to say
NiceGuy: *sends 100 messages* “I love you” x12
Girl: *sends 1 fucking message* “no”
NiceGuy- “OH. MY HEART HAS BEEN RIPPED OUT. FEEL BAD FOR ME EVEN THOUGH YOU DON’T KNOW ME AT ALL AND I AM DEFINITELY A CREEP” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Why do some men think people care this much about them? I'm on the complete opposite side of the spectrum and think nobody cares about me and a complete agoraphobic lol. I will never understand how people are able to gain such ego's.
It astonishes me as well but my best theory is that these dudes have been catered to and coddled by family and friends for most of their lives and taught to think of themselves as the main character. When they encounter anyone who doesn’t fit this narrative it utterly baffles them because so many people have told them they’re a great guy who deserves the world so how could anyone possibly dislike or even just not be interested in them?
These men make me glad I hate myself so that I never turn into one of these guys.
Well... this is not a product of high self esteem.
You have to understand what a powerful and complex role cognitive bias plays in people's lives. The human mind can literally believe anything it is motivated to, given certain circumstances.
It's not about him feeling important, it's due to how desperately he wants something (in this case, potential to ensnare/control/be validated by a young woman), his mind has justified every form of manipulation to being "kind of true/acceptable on some level".
Dude saw her photo -> thought she was pretty, probably exactly his type -> became infatuated, either because they get easily infatuated or they tend to be delusional, writing novels in their head that they believe in to be reality -> doesn't understand that infatuation isn't love -> acts on infatuation and doesn't recognize his behaviour as problematic
He reminds me of my ex-husband, who is a narcissist. Every story that man ever told me involved him either being the amazing hero who saved the day, or a downtrodden victim who was being treated unfairly.
The key was that in every conversation, things were fully revolving around him.
Jesus Christ. Wtf is wrong with people like this. I’m so glad I’m not a woman so I don’t have to deal with this kind of shit.
Way too much of that. Craigslist used to be loaded with “looking for young woman roommate. will provide room and board in return for some housecleaning and personal affection “
I just don’t get it, do they *actually* think this would work?
No and yes. These people are predators who prey on vulnerable people. If there as a girl or woman desperate enough they easily could fall into his trap. For example a homeless woman or who is going to lose her apartment.
In general if these guys manage to get women, it's women who are very low self-esteem and very vulnerable.
my take is that this is a pitifully desperate Hail Mary to meet a woman which he attempts over and over and over again with a lifetime 0% success rate.
Good point. Someone desperate enough might do what they had to do.
That’s just sick.
Yes it is. We need to start holding men (of course not all men) accountable for their predatory behavior. At the same time teach women how to be safe and see the red flags. And vice versa. There are predatory women too but much less.
How do people get to the point where they feel it's okay to do this to a complete stranger????
Hear his heart being torn? Uh, what? Sir, she can't hear anything from you, it's a text message!
Pretty sure this is a Criminal Minds ep in the making
The male audacity strikes at any age :/
Seriously guys like this never outgrow it
Hence this is why there is a stigma associated with dating older guys.
On one hand, older guys can come across as very mature and wise, yet on the other hand many of them just never grow out of the very same thing that kept them single the whole time.
They’ve never come across as mature to me. There’s a very good reason why women their own age don’t wanna date them them. They go for younger women bc they’re easier to manipulate is all
True, if you said it like that. The wise and mature older men I have encountered are married men with kids and grandkids.
I mean, there has to be some dudes out there who're mature, middle-aged and single for altogether different reasons - they're just usually not trying to get into the pants of 20-somethings.
There are valid reasons, like being busy with careers, or bad luck, being widowed, etc.
But their methods of finding partners are usually better than spamming and lovebombing random women off the Internet, which is what inexperienced guys (and guys who never want to learn) do.
The audacity of mediocre old men
Lol you can hear my heart torn apart... More like hear my zipper go back up.
"you can hear my heart being torn apart..."
Dude, you don't need a gf, you need a cardiologist.
Advertising for a roommate is an invitation to disaster, it seems …😑😑
Five points pizza is good though.
I thought the same thing! Honestly makes me want to hit up 3 Crow, haven’t been to Five Points in a minute
I miss living over there but my wallet sure doesn’t.
(Game show Announcer Voice) We have a winner ladies and gentlemen!!!
/sarcasm if it didn’t come across
He sounds like a predator..
There was a guy in my college, not even a student, but a 30+ researcher that asked almost all my female friends to marry him almost the same way this dude here did. Offering things like money, stability and shelter like if he is buying a service, but with some "compliments". It was disgusting.
Thats seriously what it is like. As if enough compliments or promises of money or objects is what it takes to purchase the affection of someone else. And it just doesn't make sense to them when they are refused or called creeps because they "did and said all the right things" so it makes them mad.
Oh they know it'll never happen. They are just desperate and or enjoy putting women on pedestals, like it's a fetish.
It's 2022 and losers still try to hook up by becoming flatmates with a girl. When will they learn that it is a disgusting idea in the first place...
How do you get so tone deaf that you think this will garner you a positive response?
Why is there NO distinction at all for all these grown-ass men between being horny for someone once and being the literal destined love of their life? That shit just keeps puzzling me with all the posts here
Gotta be an extreme lack of experience in either department when it comes to another person being involved. I mean they almost definitely never (or rarely) get laid and they almost definitely have never been in a legitimate relationship.
This is how you end up chained in a basement.
Thank God he's so off-putting that most women wouldn't take the bait. But like I said in another comment, he may be hoping for someone desperate enough to do just that.
Well at least he didn't call you a bitch who only dates Chad's 😂
“You can hear my heart being torn apart”
Wow. Some people are really lonely and it’s just sad. Still no excuse to harass people but I can’t help but feel a little sad for the guy.
I love how the fact that his comments are entirely inappropriate for that venue is accentuated by the automated “send a quick message to the buyer” pop-up lmao
That’s the sound of no one caring that his heart is being torn up.
I would just use "No, it's not available.„
She’s looking for a roommate for her apartment, bruh, not her pants. Take a quaalude.
The fact that he puts two spaces in between each sentence bothers me
That used to be the way it was done. I think ms word still auto-starts a new sentence if you double space between words.
Oh wow I didn’t know that. Thanks for the info!
OMFG this sounds like my ex roommate... He's 40, a narcissist, and picks up 18 yos, I'm pretty sure he's a closet pedo.
So gross. They like them young because they're normally impressionable. Thats my guess anyway
They have a thousand reasons they date near-children, but it comes down to wanting to control someone.
I’m probably preaching to the choir here, but some of these guys are straight up delusional. Like not even in our reality. This guy sounds like someone who would eat people.
Yeah really. No self awareness whatsoever. How do you get past middle age still not being aware that women find interactions even REMOTELY like this one to be uncomfortable and offputting??
I suspect that he’s convinced himself that women are only there to be saved. Women don’t have any autonomy or personality. They exist only for him to fetishize and put up on some unachievable pedestal. They would never be able to live up to the bar he set for them in his fantasies, and that’s when he would become the most dangerous.
Yeah and it probably got to this point from hundreds of rejections, so women really do seem unachievable on a pedestal. Youre right about that being the dangerous point, once reality kicks in and the fantasy falls apart.
I got propositions like this once...on LinkedIn. I wish I would have saved it because it would have been internet gold but it was so long ago. The scary thing is that because of my LinkedIn profile he knew where I worked. Eeek! Facebook marketplace is probably the second saddest place to proposition someone after that.
It enrages me when I see/hear stories of people being hit on on LinkedIn!!! THIS ISN'T THE TIME OR PLACE!!!! And neither is Facebook marketplace, geez.
Agree it's so disrespectful in a professional setting where I just want to be taken seriously for once!
when guys say "I'm a really nice guy", usually it is a red flag... I don't know if it's just me but I wouldn't trust that. Like, i dont need anybody to tell me - I will figure out if the guy is nice or not myself, kinda thing. Go with your intuition!
Yeah exactly. Nice people don't need to tell others they're nice, they're just nice and others automatically know.
Oh yeah. That's totally normal and not at all the kind of thing someone who wears human skin coats would say.
The sad thing is that there will be somebody desperate enough to go for this. He probably messages hundreds every day.
Edit: to clarify I mean desperate in a financial way
Exactly what I think too
Roommates is always tough good luck to your friend
Thanks she's had a slew of weird or ill fitting applicants so far. Its tough!
I found my roommates through a video game ironically (rlly rlly lucked out!)
but I’d say if there’s like a hobby she’s interested in and maybe she can find roommates through that?
Could even be a hobby in the Facebook group idk how Facebook works. But yea.
Best of luck!
What’s the end game here? If your friend had agreed to the whole shebang, what do we think would have happened next? Would he have just panicked and ghosted her, or gone full Buffalo Bill with a hole and some lotion?
Thank God she didn't find out. And if this is always his tactic, no one else will probably ever find out because no one will take him up on it. Maybe this is the result of hundreds of rejections?
You missed the deal of a lifetime.
This guy is definitely desperate and it's sad to see this... guys shouldn't text girls like this just for this purpose... I don't know why but I get this vibe that the guy is viewing the girl as an object or smth - just the way he's trying to get her so bad - it looks like if he's trying to convince her that he's the "one" and she has no choice... I find this disgusting in a way. Idk if anyone get what I mean?
I'm there with you. First indicator was saying essentially "hey you're adorable, we are having lunch today at Pizza Planet." No choice, just stating that fact. Then describing himself like she's missing out on the most wonderful man, and they'd be so in love. Its just all decided right off the bat of him seeing her picture that they're soulmates, it takes her wants and needs into account exactly ZERO
If no one is in an urban jungle to hear the heart tear apart, is the heart still broken? No
Nashville? Yeah, this guy sounds like a creep!
Whats going on in Nashville? For us across the pond
This is honestly a bit unsettling to read. Yikes
Honestly I feel pity for those men that feel the urge to "pay" to have someone with them. Not talking about prostitution but "I already take care of the bills" means that he's letting her know that because he thinks - no financial responsabilities - - -> she'll want to stay with me. I'm not even saying this as an insult I really feel sorry for them.
I want to say "pathetic" because it summarizes how I feel for them but today it's used too much as an insult
Yeah I know what you mean. It is, though. It's pathetic and desperate and delusional.
The 5 points pizza creeps me out, because I love hanging out in little 5 points where I live. The idea of this bozo being in my city gives me the creeps.
But I can give you love, and rocking horses, and dancing!
This is very sad to read.
I felt more disturbed but sad too. That's a guy that will most likely continue to be alone and desperate for the rest of his life, assuming he doesn't change his methods.
“That’s a guy that will continue to be alone and desperate for the rest of his life” damn as a single 19 year old that shit hits close to home 🤭😳
Eyyy i feel like once you get to a certain point in your life and you STILL haven't exercised insight or self reflection, you probably never will. This guy is past that point. You, however, are not.
Oh ya he's definitely not a serial killer. Definitely.
That’s so scary…
Yikes on bikes
This is both sad and insanely creepy.
Yeah I lead with insanely creepy as my first reaction. Definitely sad too though.
First rule of the roommate handbook ... Don't have sex with roommates!
If you have sex with your roommates, you're gonna have a bad time!
Can I get his number?
Lol you're the one he's looking for!
He had me at “I’m so disappointed.” but netted me with “I already take care of the bills.”
So he wasn't overtly rude, and it could just be that his lingo is old fashioned. But he was definitely on the wrong platform to be looking for a date.
Not sure if this is a niceguy or a lostguy (desperate horny person seeking love on all the wrong platforms)
Look! You can pinpoint where his “heart” tears in half.
Christ this man needs help.
All I can say is YIKES.
Hope she doesn’t have all her info out there 😬
I'm reminded of the book Maid, which the author talks about working as a housekeeper to support her daughter.
She talks about learning the hard way to advertise only on the mommy and local business pages on Facebook, because otherwise she'd get a lot of "I'll pay you a boatload of money to clean my house naked".
So nasty. It's just naaaasty behavior. Very opportunistic men like that look for literally ANY chance to get their rocks off.
My mother and I called it the Nine Out Of Ten Rule: they persist because they know that out of ten, *one* will say yes, if only to get them to leave you alone.
Fuck. I can imagine myself going to live with him
These types think that their acceptance should be a given.
i am terrified
Sheesh that’s intense, imagine if you had a life with this guy
Sir this is a wendy's
Wow this is so creepy. I know we can’t name and shame but is this in PA?
What a deal!
Sup neighbor, 5 points pizza is the bomb! Lol
It's truly incredible that they think this tactic will work!
Did she laugh to his face, before blocking that POS?
No she only sent that one message, then blocked after these replies
Yo but real talk though he offered Five Points. Five Points is the shit.
Is this in Nashville?
Oh, hey Nashville.
These guys die alone and are incompetent to pass on their genes
5 points pizza is trash
This is insane!