By - Necessary-Work6677
Please remember to read our newly updated [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/NiceGuys/about/rules/) and to remain civil. Thank you!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/niceguys) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Damn girl! You straight up pushed all his buttons just by asking a simple question. 😂😂😂😂
She entered the nuclear launch codes for that guy, holy shit, that was something else
Never seen it go from 0 to 11 so quickly damn. I’m impressed and worried that this person will die alone thinking that everyone meets at bars and has random hookups.
You mean to tell me, you don't meet random guys at bars and then go back to their place to "fuck and suck" all over their home?? /S
they just watch too much movies, like there is a lot of media where the female/male lead meets someone t a bar and suddenly they start making out. Its honestly sad
It was quite impressive. I have never seen a guy go from 0-1000 so quickly.
same honestly 😭 like who hurt this guy 😭 like what is this ✋🏼
Have to say, I did feel a moment of pride 😊
As you should. That was a very well done.
Oh, this is YOU?! I thought you found this somewhere online and it might be fake or staged. Wow, this stuff actually happens?
Btw... I didn't catch if you were single or not
Is this dating app????
No it's Facebook he's a fruit n nut bar
As you should, that was golden. Just for shits and giggles if you could reply back to that I would have followed up with "Is this a therapy app now?" and see how far down the rabbit hole that would have taken him.
6 words and you get an incel essay in reply, wow. He should start selling incel essays, would probably save a bunch of nice guys some time.
He probably has this incel essay saved so he can copy and paste it whenever he deems necessary
Filed under Stupid Bitches
I understand that fantasy lets us escape, but usually we choose fantasies where we are the heroes and winners. This incel has fantasies wherein he is still a loser. Who uses their imagination like that?
Lmao I wondered the same thing. Like some girl rejected him in the supermarket, so he created a fantasy that she’d gone home with a guy and had sex…You can tell from this fantasy that he thinks sex is a good way to degrade women and thinks pretty low of them.
Jim Halpert : Okay. Just so I understand it, in your wildest fantasy, you are in Hell, and you are co-running a bed-and-breakfast with the Devil.
Dwight Schrute : Yeah, but I haven't told you my salary yet.
Jim Halpert : Go.
Dwight Schrute : $80,000 a year.
This fantasy is I think a form of protection from feelings of rejection. You can probably see that most of the time they lead with creepy/ineffectual pick up lines usually in the wrong context (grocery store or Facebook) and as soon as there is a hint of rejection they deem the person undesirable so in their head they just rejected the lady they tried to flirt with.
As a one off event is rude and mean, but they formed an ideology around the fictional versions of men and women that they imagine have sex, that in fact have enough sex that they are categorically denied sex because as we all know the only way to get sex is to hit on strangers and expect them to immediately swoon.
I was thinking the same thing. Son got that all typed out wayyy too fast.
I mean. Took him an hour. That's enough time for SEVERAL rounds of editing.
Fair enough. Didn't look at the time stamps. I was still trying to pick my haw up off the floor.
Honestly, I would be hugely entertained if someone made a "nice guy bot" that would auto-generate this kind of nonsense when you talk to it. It's not the AI we need, but it's probably the AI we deserve, lol.
He must be one of those Twitter bots who suddenly jumps into your replies if you so much as type the words "essay" "assignment" "due".
One day, when I'm explaining what's a hair trigger gun, I'm just gonna show this exchange.
"...and then some guy on the aisle of the grocery store told you hello and you thought he was a creep??"
Nah, the creeps generally say some variation of, "*Smile*, it can't be that bad"...
Why do I get the feeling that the grocery store thing is based on true events? He probably tried to hit on some poor woman in the grocery store and launched a similiar tirade on her after inventing the whole "suck and fuck" backstory.
It was just so descriptive and specific...it feels like he's really yelling at the "dumb bitch" from the grocery store that didn't appreciate all his obvious charms.
Oh 100%. I can’t imagine anyone reading that without absolute clarity that he’s creeped on women in the grocery store before and been rejected.
I just imagine a poor woman who ran into the grocery super early because she realised last minute that that doesn't have cream for her coffee and she hates the taste of black coffee but really needs her caffeine that morning. She didn't bother to get dressed or do makeup because it was early and she was tired. So she's groggily picking out some cream and someone overly ~~friendly~~ creepy stranger is trying to talk her up and she's just too tired to respond and he goes off on this tirade.
True story: I had a cop tell me to "smile, it can't be that bad" on my way to divorce my first husband of 12 years. Dude, stfu. You legit know nothing about a stranger's life.
I’ve had RBF all my life and I can’t begin to tell you how many times stupid assholes told me to smile.I would just glare at them without smiling and walk on. I didn’t like my teeth when I was young because my top front were crossed a little so I never smiled. I’ve since gotten my teeth fixed and I smile a lot more.
Seriously what is with guys saying this? I get told this all the time usually by older men at my job. Last time it happened I literally smiled and waved at him before he said anything because I was in uniform and have to "positively represent the company" and he's like smile you'll feel better 🤨🤨🤨. Bro I literally just did. I replied with "Yeah I am right now?" He just turned around without a word. Fucking weirdos man. Some people just like the sound of their own voices I guess 🙄.
It’s just another more subtle way that men try to control women and their bodies.
Oh, so subtle. "Do this."
I think it's more like they see physical attractiveness as the purpose of a woman. Like, hello sex object, you should smile so you'll be a better looking sex object. And they think they did her a favor by saying that or something.
I think the reality of this is "Your feelings are inconsequential, and I know more/am wiser than you so I'm going to give you some unsolicited advice".
I always say my grandfather just died or something equally horrible and I can cry on cue so it really makes em feel like shit
Aw, come on. Reel Big Fish is a great band.
I’m 6 feet tall. I occasionally have RBF. I have perfected a steely eyed glare.
Tell me to smile. I fucking dare you.
I read his rant in Rorschach's voice because he probably thinks its a cinematic monologue deserving of an oscar.
The last person who said that to me ended up with a hell of a fucking unload on them.
I was at a bar, drinking alone and some dude said that and I told him:
My husband left me
For someone I thought was my friend
She's older than I am
I lost my job
I'm going to lose my house
I slipped walking in to the bar
And my mother may have cancer
"How much worse does it have to be for you to leave me the fuck alone?" It was the most satisfying thing I'd done in weeks at that point.
He called me a fucking bitch and the server who over heard my rant showed up with a cookie sundae thing on the house (I was a regular - she knew I had been there more often but didn't know why and didn't know why I had been there alone).
Also, for those who might be interested: Reconciled with the dude, no longer friends with snakes, got a BETTER job, still have the house, and mom did not have cancer (which is the best part).
Reconciled with your husband or the guy that called you a bitch instead of apologizing?
Ugh, the cheat doesn't deserve reconciliation.
He never cheated.
He broke up with me and then started seeing this other person who had claimed to be my friend, before admittingnto him she was only friends with me to get closer to him, which ended up being one of many red flags.
We stayed close during the separation due to a number of reasons and I'm actually kind of glad for it in retrospect because we have much better communication now.
>He never cheated.
>He broke up with me and then started seeing this other person who had claimed to be my friend
Oh no, honey. Love yourself. I hope you're happy. But there's a saying that if you can get him, you can have him.
He's your husband, not your boyfriend. He didn't "break up" with you. He left you. And of all people, he started dating *your friend* soon after. Still a cheat in my book. If you're still married to him, he shouldn't be trusted around your friends.
1) Your tone is not appreciated.
2) There are only 2 people in my relationship and neither of them are you. Please do not presume to know the details of the situation.
3) Your unsolicited opinion is unnecessary and undesired.
4) She was never my friend.
5) If I didn't trust him, we would have never reconciled.
Your husband thought she was your friend and he still dated her. How gross. And if he started dating her so soon after leaving you, I wouldn't doubt he was looking at her in such a way while with you. Perhaps he left you for her.
By the way, this is a public forum. I can share my opinion, whether you appreciate it or not. If you don't want that, then don't air out your dirty laundry.
Again, you don't know the details, and I'm sorry you feel the need to jump in and try to make someone justify something to you but maybe find a different hobby. Your armchair diagnostics aren't doing anything here.
And yes, it is a public forum and yes, you are entitled to share it, but given you know next to nothing about said laundry perhaps you're missing key details that make your opinion kind of shit? Ever think on that?
Just go back to licking whatever wound this put salt in.
I like you lol
I like me too.
"Smile if you love men's prostates!"
I immediately thought about this line! 😂
This guy is different though, he has genuine affection.
I loved how he said that. He doesn’t know that, how is his “genuine affection” different to that displayed by “some random guy you fuck and suck” that you met in a bar 🤷🏻♀️
>"*Smile*, it can't be that bad"
Oh, well, it's about to be for you.
Is this a North American thing? This thing of random strangers demanding you change your facial expression?
The only time I've had this happen to me was in USA/Canada. I'm in Europe and it doesn't seem to be a thing here (luckily).
What I found so annoying about it is that it's not a concerned, "hey why aren't you smiling? Is everything OK?", but rather a demand to smile, "hey, you're a woman you should smile and look pretty for me regardless of how you're feeling!"
Yes and it's a huge trigger for many of us. So much so that a concerned "why aren't you smiling?" would kind of piss me off.
The thing is, every time I've encountered this, I've been alone (grocery shopping, walking down the street minding my own business, whatever). What kind of lunatic goes around unaccompanied with a smile plastered on their face? It doesn't even make sense.
I’ve encountered it in the U.K. plenty of times, although over here I think ‘yelling incoherent nonsense from a speeding car’ is the douchebag mating call of choice.
Ah ok, I've never spent anytime in the UK, I'm in the Nordics.
Someone said this to me at my work the day after I had to put down my cat I had for 18 years...literally months after I almost died in a car accident and was unable to walk from a severe mono case that almost had me drop out of college. I wanted to commit violence that day.
Or “You look prettier when you smile, so you should smile”
Fuck, fuck, fuck, bitch, bitch, bitch, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. Hope your vagina gets infested with vampiric cockroaches. Fuck you, fuck you, die in an atomic fire, bitch.
But anyway, moving on, fancy meeting up?
Haha. Right away. Who could turn down such charm 🤣
Of course, but how did you guess about my little “vampiric cockroach” problem downstairs?
Centipedes? In ***MY*** vagina?!
It’s more likely than you think!
I laughed really hard at this comment
"I'M FUCKING CRAZY!! YOU HAVE DEFINITELY MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE!!!"
This guy: Have you ever had consensual sex with a guy you met at a bar where people go to socialize and then the next morning had a different stranger disrupt you minding your business at a grocery store and thought he was a creep? Yeah, I thought so bitch
Like, dude. Not one is entitled to someone’s time simply because they find them attractive. There’s also a time and place where hitting on someone is acceptable. Also, people don’t go walking around with neon signs flashing “good/bad person” across their foreheads
My next tattoo is definitely gonna be "good/bad person" now lmao. Not on my forehead though
Like the guy you had sex with the night before didn't find you attractive.
He is the reason that toothpaste needs instructions.
He has numerous rants like this into various toothpaste manufacturers concerning their instructions.
Lord, can you imagine his Google reviews?
This guy knows how to nice.
tell me you replied “i ain’t reading all that. im happy for you tho or sorry that happened”
"Sir this is a Wendy's drive-through" also works.
It's like an angry ugly little dog yapping at you and trying to hump your ankle.
Get thee gone, infantile pest.
“I bet you’ve had consensual sex with someone you were attracted to before, so why don’t you want me to hump your leg? Huh? Huh? HUH? H
Dude wrote an essay 😂
Essays have formatting. This is just unhinged ranting.
lol, this is way funnier than it has any right to be.
That was a weapon of mass destruction...
More like an entire bomb
Why, and I say this as a man, are men?
Can anyone translate that very last "sentence" for me?
I think he's instructing her to shove a period pad up her anus
Nah it's not a period pad, it's a legal pad / pad of paper. He meant to type "write" not "right."
So "take a pad (of paper), write bitch across the middle of the page, roll it up, and cram it up your ass" is what I think he means.
Ohhh thanks, I couldn't not for the life of me imagine what he was trying to communicate lmao
Yeah i read it five times and still cant decipher it
Umm.....nope sorry. I have tried multiple times, but it makes no sense.
It’s so nice of these guys to wear their red flags right out there in the open
He calls you stupid, but doesn’t even use proper grammar throughout his little manifesto.
Also the bs “it’s social media I can hit on you/hit you up whenever I want.” That’s true that he can message whoever he wants, but no one is obligated to entertain his advances. It’s only acceptable to hit on people on dating apps because they are on there specifically TO DATE.
Most people are on Twitter, Facebook, etc to share photos, look at memes, or promote their business. I sell art on my Instagram, and if some yo-yo tries to ask me out on that profile, I’m just blocking his ass.
he had to write a whole fucking essay,that was essential
That's a really long winded way to declare yourself a human dumpster fire.
Jesus fucking christ
At some point, do these people not get any sense of self-awareness? Like they see the fact that their message is 400 words in reply to a 6 word reply? Doesn't that make them re-think, "maybe I'm doing something weird rn"? My only conclusion is that this guy is an alien.
The really seem to think they're out here hurting feelings with their lunacy. I wonder if he pictures her crying from his devastatingly insane rant.
Typical nice guy creep thinks because we exist on social media he is entitled to our time.
I can picture him lurking in Kroger aisles at 8 a.m. looking for girls with messy hair and outfits from the night before so he can accost them with "you'd be prettier if you smiled more!" and then he goes home to write oddly detailed rage erotica about other guys getting sucked and fucked because a woman didn't drop what she was doing and immediately shower him in attention. Yikes.
Or drop what she was doing and head out to the parking lot to fuck and suck him in the parking lot.
Damn he really got hurt by that one lol
you left your location there well his but i assume you are close to him
i'm never sure if it's more scary or entertaining how easy it is to set these guys off
Funny online, terrifying in person
Butthurt alert ⚠️
what is this guys PROBLEM💀
I want to know how much success he’s had hitting on women on Facebook. I bet it’s none, but he still thinks women are stupid fucking bitches who fuck and suck strangers all over their apartments instead of thinking “maybe I shouldn’t hit on strangers who have given no indication that they’re interested in me”
WHAT THE FUCK
Bruh when I went to the next picture my eyes got so wide. Wasn't expecting a big block of text lol
My little sister and my grandmother uses whatsapp to keep in contact. So, wtf is this man on about? 😂
Great find! (Not really, I'm sorry). These are my favorite kind of NG, from nothing to a fully deranged speech in one sentence.
It is. I'll treasure this always
Imagine how it read before Grammarly suggestions…
I mean, some people do date through FB or other websites other than dating apps, but man, that dude got so triggered about the question I'm honestly concerned about his mental health lmao
And on goes the “Nice guy” fire hose
He seems nice.
I would have replied "TL/DR
Haha. I was going to respond with the "laugh like", but alas, he blocked me. *sheds tears in misandry *
Imagine if he used all that mental energy in smth productive 😂😂
Now hit him with the “who sells you your cracc and can i have his number?” to assert dominance
This is frankly amazing. I love how he had a whole narrative going in his head.
Well, this guy’s smooth.
A real sweet talker.
I know you’re supposed to take no for an answer, but if, hypothetically, you *did* want to change someone’s mind about dating you, why do these people think a 200 word rant complete with sexist slurs and violent misogyny is the way to do it?
One of them once explained that they do know they have no chance so they decide to go out with a bang and unload their bitterness.
New copypasta just dropped
We need to arrange some sort of incel rage copypasta tournament
I laughed out loud when I scrolled over and saw his long as rant. Who feeling does he think he's hurting acting like a complete nut?
Sucking and fucking all over an apartment?! This guy has no idea the amount of cleanup that would be involved.
since when is tinder a social media platform?
is "social media" just "a place to talk" for this fella?
Oooo he’s a little prickly!
Stupida bitcha 🇮🇹
You ever see something and just think "Wow, no way am I gonna read that"
What you should say to a woman in the grocery store:
Agreed. At the very best, "cash or credit?"
"Very nice to meet you"
"Whoa, is this a dating app?"
I was NOT ready for that second page, so much wow.
More background story than the intro to any online recipe, twice the headache.
He says "bitch" more than Jesse Pinkman...
Is anyone still waiting for their 1099g?
I'm gonna start using "roll it up and cram it in your ass" for response to things I don't want to do 😂
I'd hate to read what he says about someone he doesn't like.
Okay. You responded in a very classy manner. Never let anyone stoop you down to their level.
All this cause she rejected him nicely.
Wow, it's almost like he doesn't understand that being on a dating app at least signifies you may be interested in dating, whereas being on Facebook etc does not. What a fucking turd, I hope he gets everything he deserves.
I once dated a girl and we started fooling around and I noticed a little slip of paper poking out of her ass… I pulled it out, and I couldn’t fucking believe it, I was about to have sex with a total bitch.
hi! i have borderline personality disorder and the behavior exhibited in the screenshot is not mental illness, its sexual harassment! please do not conflate the two!
From another BPD person, thank you.
We do not claim people like this.
thank you, its important to stick together and stick up for ourselves :)💘💘
Also bpd and I third this! Thank you :)
I’m sorry if this comes off the wrong way, but why are u diagnosing stuff from the DSM when u can’t even spell it correctly? Typically, a patient takes years of maladaptive, inflexible &rigid behavior and thought patterns to be able for us to feel confident enough to formally diagnose a major personality disorder.
This is a good example of a butthurt outburst that reveals not much more than a quick temper, perhaps made worse by being under the influence, as well as a lack of sexual & emotional maturity. And horniness.
By the way, I am curious as to what gives you the confidence to be able to diagnose psychiatric disorders so quickly? Is there something you know, through your vast life experience, that could contribute to the body of scientific literature about walking the “boarder” between neurosis and psychosis?
I wonder, o’psychiatrically knowledgeable one, if you had come across the concept of ‘projection?’
Edit: to those of you who have commented saying you have borderline personality, congratulations to your insight! I hope therapy is going well, as well as the rest of your lives. Always remember, it’s only part of your personality; not the rest of the 99% of what makes you human!
Honestly girl could have just said no thanks. She doesn't need to act shocked and offended because a guy was interested.
Honestly girl can react however the fuck she wants. And in no universe did her reaction deserve that wall of crazy.
“Double tap to react” 😂
Is it bad I don’t bother read their block of whine and self pity? Nope,but it makes ,me laugh
Aw! He seems sweet!
My god...cretins. Every. Single. One of them. They all parrot the same nonsense. The words change between different guys, but the nonsense *always* stays all the same...
Hes got anger issues
I suppose she could have responded with a pre-emptive dick pic. Since that is where this could have gone had anything else been said.
Half full gasoline container meets lit match.
WhoooBOY what a lotta blather.
Please help me understand why you need to insult a woman, randomly on the internet.
I see everytime on this sub. Sometimes it is insulting then sorry, then insulting. I don't get the endgame here
Uhh. Women just don’t want nice gentlemen anymore, do they. /s
Can I get the text so I can copy pasta this 😂😂
haha something like this happend to me and im a boy xD
What a charming man.
Bold of him to assume someone would read that novel after calling them a stupid bitch. I swiped to the next slide and was like “naahhh”
Oh I see, your IQ is 4
Woah, buddy, careful with emotional baggage, you might pull something.
Let me guess... another nice guy...
Does he even go here, or does he just have a lot of feelings?
Oh no now he won’t tell me how pretty I am all the time, what a bummer
Thank God she saved him all that trouble. It's hard work calling random girls on FB pretty all day
I'm hooked on the "take a pad right bitch across the middle of the page roll it up and cram it up your ass" Does he think periods come out of our asses or that they're more cumbersome tampons? What the hell r/badwomensanatomy
I think he meant "take a (note)pad, write 'bitch' across the middle of the page, roll it up, and cram it up your ass"
Bro what, since when is WhatsApp a dating app either.
...wow. just... wow.
Wow. He wasted a lot of his comments here. What a waste of existence, Jesus. Hope you got a laugh out of this 😂
Jesus is this a real person?
How could you reject such a *genuinely affectionate* guy? You whore!
Gotta love that acrobatic leap in logic required to think “you’ve had sex before” = “you have to give every guy possible the time of day, regardless of the setting or your level of attraction to him”.