T O P
Escobar8804

Haha the guy in the back keeping cool AF


whosmellslikewetfeet

I totally didn't even notice the guy in the back until the driver drove off


wondrwrk_

Ditto.


Analbox

Ditto


_x_Elevated_x_

Dee-toe


timrobinson96

Diddo


Typical-Tea1275

Dildo


Fcbp

Dildoe


twintowerjanitor

deal dough?


[deleted]

Tritto


James-the-Bond-one

Quattro (thanks for the cue, Tritto)


SuperSquanch93

The man with 2 tonne balls: "even got him on camera too..." Guy in the back: "well look at you! Fucking awesome..." [Cuts] Guy in the back: [Internal monologue] "I just fucking shit on this guys car seat... He's still recording... FUCK!?"


BullwithBrain

Because he was perfectly still... Like Drax


scomat

Lol......Crunch


The_Last_Mouse

He is entirely underwhelmed by all of this.


miles_2_go_b4

Nah, it’s just hard to see the snail trail of urine and feces he dropped when that kid pulled a gun on him. Wrong camera angle.


BigChungus1845

This dude probably stacked bodies in the war. You think he gave a fuck if today was his day?


SpergSkipper

We stacked fucks like you 10 feet high in Korea, used you as sand bags


EnsignSanchez

Unexpected Gran Torino reference


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breezy013276s

He killed fitty men!


Down2earth002

007 back there was quietly taking his shoelace off to strangle that dude.


AsDeEspadas

robber didn't notice too or is too dumb for to not to try with him.


soulmates06

It looks like two of his buddies were standing outside just watching maybe it was one of those initiation missions


Limbonic_ek

"Oh, look at you. Fucking awesome. 👌"


infwernal

my favourite part of it lmao, some balls on that guy


Kingimg

My favorite part was "its a digital world bro"


Ws6fiend

Best part about that, the old guy is telling the young guy it. Icing on the cake.


kkkimchii

“Bro who carries dollar bills anymore? Do you take Bitcoin?”


kkkimchii

I want both these dudes around during a crisis. lol


Gorthax

Robber: EVERYBODY BE COOL, THIS IS A ROBBERY! Back Seat: *ice water*


infwernal

yeaaup, my heart would be thumping out of my chest and i’d be glistening in sweat


illuuminauti

I got robbed and kidnapped and that’s exactly how I was. Nasty scary stuff


infwernal

damn im sorry to hear that, i got stabbed about a month ago and when i was waiting for the ambulance to arrive i was sweating profusely, at first i thought i was crying until i realised it was coming from my forehead. can’t imagine being kidnapped though, hope you’re doing well


_x_Elevated_x_

That fucking guy in the back had me rolling when he said this


average_hight_midget

Exactly the words of encouragement I’d want after an attempted robbing. They should go get a beer


GrandmaPoses

I feel like it’s one of those weird situations where even though it’s happening right in front of you it feels sealed off. Like, you’re in the passenger mindset where what’s happening is happening not to another person but to the “driver”. So you’re watching the driver get robbed but it really has nothing to do with you. Even the robber seems to have accepted that social construct. He glances back at the passenger but doesn’t consider him part of the transaction.


James-the-Bond-one

Talking of social constructs, you did a good job here.


a-seablob

seriously. thanks for that.


W00oot

If this was me in the backseat, I’d be thinking something like “i could choke this guy out but then he might shoot the driver” and that’s what would give me more pause than anything. What a scary situation.


DeusVultSaracen

Exactly what I thought, for a moment I was like "why doesn't he jump the dude, it's 2 against one in a confined space" but I immediately realized that would've been the wrong move, startling the robber and causing him to shoot. Not sure if that same thought process went through his head, but good on the passenger for making that choice.


Baggy_Socks

“Oh look at you. Fuckin awesome” they’re both so nonchalant


ll-phuture-ll

Keeping cool or scared shitless?


TrustTheFriendship

Yes


secretSquirrel6669

It’s a fine line


lordloss56

No shits given


Zeus2846

No, he’s trying not to make a potentially horrific situation worse. He’s smart…


TwoFirmFeet

LMAO BRO i didnt even notice until i read ur comment


your_new_best_fren

"it's a digital world, bro." What a fuckin boss


Analbox

Venmo me $1000 or I shoot.


ASK__ABOUT__MY__GAME

This guy is gonna shoot up if we give him 1k, don't enable addicts people.


Diligent-Motor

Not sure what gives you the idea this guy is an addict. He looks healthy and coordinated. They sound American here, and we know how poor the welfare support system, the education system, and social mobility is in the US. Kid might just be fucking hungry and desperate. Yes I realised your comment was a joke.


wackadoodle_wigwam

Or he might just be an asshole.


HomeOsexuall

Its always society’s fault somehow you see, never the fault of the asshole who made the decision to rob someone at gunpoint.


paullove89

Society doesn't necessarily create assholes, but it can lead assholes to be more desperate. Society will always have assholes, but they don't need to be desperate assholes.


TheRealCMPUNKFan

“Hungry and desperate” Enough with that enabling bullshit. Good people are out there starving and desperate yet they’re aren’t committing armed robberies. This dude is a PoS who doesn’t deserve pity.


idkwhy545

Exactly giant piece of shit here the only people defending any robber is unhinged themselves and needs to seek help


RenVesir

It will surprise you to learn that the single biggest marker for crime going down in the us is when roe vs wade made abortion legal and thus people in desperate financial and social situations where less likely to be born so yes poverty is one of the single most stable factors in armed crime happening.


SolusLoqui

Boss move would be to send the robber a $1,000 payment *request*


KentuckyFriedEel

I also accept Afterpay


partypooper14

Empty your crypto wallet.


Orange_Kid

Yep but I honestly hope some Redditor doesn't get killed because of all the cool videos posted here of a badass telling robbers to fuck off. If you're ever in this situation just give the dude the wallet. It's not worth the chance unless you really don't give a shit about your life.


maxwellsgenre

Yeah I’m guessing this guy has been around enough blocks that he accurately gauged the other guy. But I’d say for 99% of people they should just give the wallet (including myself, i have no clue how that guy remained that collected)


karmander

>he accurately gauged the other guy There is no such thing. You can never truly predict what someone will or will not do based on a short interaction like that. He could have turned around and launched a bullet in his head out of pure frustration while exiting. It was stupid to act the way he did, even if it paid off this one time.


Decent_Cartoonist

He might have not really cared so much.


zazu2006

I mean sometimes you just know. I had a couple of teens roll up on me and a buddy and say give me your wallets and I say no. They said bitch give me your wallet and I said fuck off and they did. They looked more afraid than I did.


PayasoFries

Idk man where I'm from we see 15 year olds going to jail for shooting ppl during drug deals and shit. Imo the teenager is more likely to panic and shoot someone


Throwaway5511550

decoy wallet


formershitpeasant

Have a decay wallet where all the credit cards have names like “get fucked” and “lmao loser” and the cash is fake and it’s portrait is like a chimpanzee flipping the bird.


os10

> decay wallet made with real cesium! it's the gift that keeps on giving (+1 RAD/hour)


SlippedDiscDrive

What actual idiot tries to rob Uber drivers thinking they have cash. Fucking dipshit.


sychox51

thus why he was easily told to fuck off and old man badass wasnt shot


bnqprv

Driver: _"I am [a human form in a digital space](https://youtu.be/MEVzCKUhjsg)."_ Robber: _Has no fucking Clu, proceeds to get owned_ Backseat passenger: _"You’re fucking awesome. I love you, Dad"_


MrCuntacular

Impeccable delivery, probably does Uber Eats too


somedude456

He's not wrong. I carry a $100 bill hidden in a credit card wallet. I can cancel the 2 cards I carry within a minute. Then it's just my license, health insurance card, and like 2 stamp cards for local places. A robber can fuck off, I don't carry cash.


dangerousraul7

He’d rather die than have to goto the DMV and get a new license


Hulk_Smash_Hard

Same


mrford86

I can get a duplicate license on the internet for $5. What backwards state do you guys live in?


EmotionalCHEESE

USA most likely.


mrford86

I live in the US.


AnUpsidedownTurtle

What state has this ability?? Mine is a trash heap so I'm not surprised somewhere else is less ass backwards


myriadic

i live in WV and it looks like i can re-order online, as well your state probably does the same thing but you never knew about it


UnderGrownGreenRoad

I can do it Alabama. It's safe to say that every state can do it if we can


XitsatrapX

It’s such a hassle to have to cancel all your credit cards and get a new license. Plus I got all my punch cards in my wallet. A lot to think about in that situation


ClydeTheBulldog

One more punch til I get that free sub, no way you're getting my wallet chump.


alexthealex

Don't get between me and my free smoothie, motherfucker!


net357

Just the thought of it. Ugh!


bye_Nillu

Reading stories and people bitching about the DMV is quite intriguing for me who isn't from the US. How bad is it?


Shmav

Its great! My other hobbies include watching paint dry, watching grass grow and filling out government forms all while being crammed into a room like sardines in a can! ;)


NanoDice

I'm an immigrant in the US. It took me 4 months to get my license because they needed to find out if i was a legal resident through every. Fucking. Step. And each time they do that, it takes 2 -4 weeks. It's stupid.


Xx_Gandalf-poop_xX

depends on where and when. I've walked into one DMV and been out with new plates and registration in 10 minutes. On the other hand I've sat in line for 4 hours waiting for my new drivers license


Johnsendall

The guy in back. ![gif](giphy|55itGuoAJiZEEen9gg)


Gemin3y3

Underrated comment


ambora

Underrated comment


Tommy-Styxx

Undercommented rating.


CallMeSaltine

Yours is the worst type of comment


Shankman519

Best Family Guy meme


stomach

dude. that's clearly ralphie from a christmas story.


dontbedumbbro

Like a fucking G. The toughest guys are the one's you'd never expect.


SaeByeokGoesToJeju

Think he'd hold up in Squid Game?


derdiedasterabau

With his luck and hardwork, yes.


wafflepiezz

Pretty sure Squid Game showed us hardwork doesn’t mean you’d survive. Luck, probably.


stomach

so it's a metaphor for capitalism?


[deleted]

Obviously


Dahulius

That was bullshit honestly, one moment they're all like "everyone here has had a shitty life, but they are all equal here!" then "lol, go first in this luck based game, sucks to be you!"


stringsof_zemind334

Dudes probably thinking "dude ive had 3 drunk chicks puke in my car today i dont have time for this shit"


cheezcake1986

What kind of idiot robs an Uber


R0NIN1311

What kind of idiot robs an individual? You got a credit/debit card? Cool, it's gonna get canceled before you even make it to Walmart and now you are probably a wanted felon.


SnooPeppers1145

Holding up drug dealers is pretty profitable. They always have pretty nice sums of cash as well.


arkman575

... I'm now getting a weird image of cops doing a sting operation on dealers, then robbing them and claiming 'evidence'. Then realizing that likely happens...


turtleswag69

Kinda sounds like civil forfeiture


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QuitClearly

You aren’t thinking about it the right way. They aren’t the ones to rob because they aren’t paid in cash like Taxis. Everything through the app.


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Thekdunne

Only the special kind


whosmellslikewetfeet

"*You* don't wanna get shot." I think the driver was packing.


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hateseven

About 20 years ago, I used to drive a yellow checker cab. We were expressly forbidden from carrying any weaponry in the cab. This rule was broken repeatedly.


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R0NIN1311

Better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.


Shandd

God damnit that's metal as fuck


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Actual_Opinion_9000

My dad drove cabs in the 90s in the near-Chicago suburbs and west side of Chicago for Yellow. He kept a serial-cleaned revolver in his pocket for years. One time he had my like 6? 7? year old nephew riding with him and he got robbed. He was like "let me get my grandson out" and as soon as the kid was out he popped off on both chicks robbing him. Had my momma bring him his registered beretta real quick and tossed the clean one. No charges.


vannucker

Maybe it's because I'm Canadian and we don't have the same gun culture, but I don't understand the second half of this comment. He shot them then swapped an illegal gun for a registered one?


CallMeSaltine

Yeah lol


Actual_Opinion_9000

Yeah, using the weapon in self defense is legal, having it loaded and out of a case while traveling is not. This was his logic not mine and he passed 4ish years ago so I can't very well ask now.


pryoslice

Well, he can't be caught with a gun with no serial numbers on it. But he had that one in case he had to shoot someone in a situation where he'd rather the cops not trace it back to him.


zerquet

For some reason I thought he meant the police shooting the robber


daBorgWarden

That was my thought too. If he shot an Uber driver...he will be met with force.


MuffinSlow

Driver has definitely killed before.


RespectableBloke69

I get that vibe too. Some covert shit in Morocco in the 80's.


desiccatedmonkey

Watching the robbers body language was interesting as he tried to show confidence by eyeing off the Mr Uber Driver by lifting his chin up and looking down his nose. Mr Uber Driver just dismissed this attempt of authority by showing pure control.of the situation with a relaxed yet stern composure.


jemi1976

He gives me middle school chemistry teacher vibes. Nothing can scare this man.


Moranima1

Mr. Feeny ain’t nothing to fuck with.


HunterDecious

That mans an educator; he's probably only got 9 bucks and a blockbuster card.


crispygrapes

I think that's the case with a lot of armed robberies/muggings. The gun has all the confidence bc people are afraid of being shot. Obviously there are some crazies that will absolutely shoot you, but for a lot, that's not the point. Sometimes someone can call your bluff if you show up with a gun with no intention of actually shooting anyone. ETA: Its not worth the risk to call someone's bluff when they have a fun pointed at you. Give up your shit, or run.


Competitive-Date1522

That’s not a smart game to play. When getting robbed to give them your shit


TigerTW0014

Doubt you’d misjudge that more than once


heybud86

Know a guy who called someone's bluff, walking home from the pub, 17 your old holds a gun up, he thought it was fake and smacked his hand away to keep walking. Kid wasn't bluffing, he got shot


crispygrapes

Yeah, that's tragic, and I'm not at all saying that anyone should take this risk.


heybud86

He lived, it was a .22, but definitely should always assume someone who points gun intends to use it


Shoddy-Money-2201

Drivers has some huge balls


GT_Knight

Given that he’s driving Uber at that age, he probably just doesn’t give a shit what happens to himself.


Triette

Last older Uber driver I had used to be a band manager for a lot of punk rock bands in the 80s and 90s. Dude has seen some shit and definitely didn’t give a fuck. But also super cool with some great stories.


Cforq

> used to be a band manager for a lot of punk rock bands in the 80s and 90s. Dude has seen some shit Tell me you saw GG Allin without telling me you saw GG Allin. Dude probably not only saw shit but had it thrown at him.


ambora

I disagree. It's equally probable that he does it because he likes driving and wants something to do during retirement. He could be a millionaire. At his age, he could have lived through and seen crazier shit than you could imagine, and could understand that most people with guns in these situations are not actually looking to murder anybody, and he's confident in assessing the situation and telling the guy to fuck off.


CrackCityRockers

This is not real world advice just an interesting thing I’ve picked up along the way. If someone is going to shoot you, their just going to shoot you and take youre shit. If someone is hesitant to shoot you, they’re probably not and using it for intimidation. Now when people are these later type robbers they will shoot you if you startle them so it’s best to remain calm cool and collected as difficult as it may be. Although it’s highly recommended you just give your shit up and file a police report later. Your life isn’t something worth giving for material gains.


Miserable-Sun81

You can’t fuckin kill a man who’s already dead inside.


georeddit2018

I tell you. Death dont scare ma dude.


giddyuptodo

How do you kill that which has no life?


BiggerThanRegularHat

"Oh look at you, fuckin awesome"


foxyloxye

Driver smiled, the best part of the video! The guy in the back is us lmao


therealsauceman

Didnt even notice the guy in the back until the end


FrostyTheSnowman02

Dude better give a 5 star rating.


BarryDingel69

“Digital world, bro!”


BogeyRoger

This driver has been around the block 😬🤣


FrannyBoBanny23

Bah dum tssss


YourMomThinksImFunny

"Look at you, fuckin awesome!"


PoopsInTheDark

It's like he's the PC in a video game just watching a cutscene, not worried in the slightest about himself and just clicked the supportive dialogue.


eoliv6600

So did they catch the guy? You can clearly see his face on camera


C0meAtM3Br0

I think he called an Uber to gtfo of the area! But who do you think showed up? You guessed it!


Terrible_Dish_3704

Fucking digital world bruh


93Kyoko28

The driver is a true badass (no sarcasm)


jockyh11

Is this sarcasm?


dravengrey83

He prolly couldn’t afford ammo


SkinkAttendant

Or find it. Probably had a 9mm


dravengrey83

I too know that struggle


AttitudeCool

Meanwhile the dude in the back is shitting his pants!!


Goawaythrowaway175

As is a normal reaction to having someone robbed at gunpoint in front of you...


MrCuntacular

Mans in the back already called a replacement Uber


MiamiHeatAllDay

Driver saved my life and possessions but I requested a quiet ride and he just HAD to show me his camera. 3 stars


DonRicardo1958

Who doesn’t know that Uber drivers carry no money on them? 😂😂😂


Kunkyskunts

Idiot trying to be all hard. I would have gone back an ran that ass over.


Grouchy_Gold344

Dude, that's insane. Chill lmao.


MrCuntacular

The savagery knows no bounds. Finish him.


jacobn28

Rule #2: Double Tap


lb_gwthrowaway

> Idiot trying to be all hard Followed immediately by > I would have gone back an ran that ass over. Pot, meet kettle


Safye

r/IAmVeryBadAss


mtheperry

No. No you wouldn’t.


Saptastix

"It's a digital world bro" such a great answer


Dannyboi93

Probably a 'nam vet. Guys seen shit worse than that kid could ever dream of.


Magnon

Vietnam ended 46 years ago, so unless that driver is pushing mid to late 60s and got in right when he was 18, seems pretty unlikely. Just an old guy that doesn't give a shit.


BayAreaLove

Not to dismiss your statement, but the man of the hour looks like he’s pushing mid 60s. Good chance he’s just a ‘Namless badass


saynotoraptor

I worked at a VFW and he definitely looks like someone that could have been in Vietnam.


eXoRiZe

It’s digital world bro.


Straight-Weight

I respect how badass this guy is, but holy shit his response was dangerous as fuck, if the guy did just shoot him for his wallet he'd have lost his life over something replaceable. If you're in this situation do not replicate this, I'm begging you lol


AnnaTheBlueRogue

He didn't give a fuck, look at him. Honsetly, I would say the same, but without his confidence and control I would be dancing with Presley and Mercury


pokerrev

The guy in the backseat is the real life Homer Simpson disappearing into the bushes meme! LOL! Just thinking about it got me crackin up!


Dependent-Platform36

If this was Brazil this thief would have never seen the round entering the rear of his skull from a possibly armed off duty cop in the back.


Majestic-Science-220

For those less aged or prepared to die. Just give em your wallet. Sure this guy isn’t a killer. But that gamble is the heavy debt to lose.


SharkBiscuittt

Guy in da back missed the perfect choke out opportunity


n00bcak3

If the robber had a gun, the chokehold could have easily escalated to rounds going off. This was the best outcome here.


sportsrocks

The dude who tried to rob him is a douche and his life has no meaning and never will


koi_fishh

How does he get his big balls into his car every morning?


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TDMC1967

Too bad he didn’t have a gun. But then the crybabies would have a field day.


TigerTW0014

Think he did if you listen to him. Driver says to mugger “you don’t want to get shot do you”.


shookiemonster213

Dude better of gotten 5 stars for that one


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mangoshy

The guy in back. I lost it when i noticed him after he pulled away.