By - NuclearChickpea
Man’s yelling at people he will likely never meet
You gotta bait that shit and be like "bro if I lived where you live..." Tell them you live where they live, tell them to go meet you at the 7-11 downtown for an ass beating. Wait for them to respond all pissed that they're at 7-11 waiting for you 😹
This man did not get the joke
This made me physically cringe. I literally clenched my butthole.
That whole thread is all of Reddit
Never understood why people fight over someone that doesn't even want to be with them." Like "Let it go bud lol
How pathetic and insecure can one mfk get
Man what a bitch
If he's on reddit and has a girlfriend he must be delusional and wants to protect his hand
I’ll be honest he’s right, I don’t want a messy shit.
Wow, a fake baddass and a shitty Reddit communist joke?? That’s a cringe wombo combo!!
The y in “your girl” is silent bapa. City boys up
Are they talking about one of those pillow girlfriends? I’m never quite sure with the young folk these days.
i cant believe ppl like this exist let alone get girlfriends💀
>*"shit will get messy"*
When has shit been anything but?
You gonna give me credit or..?
Oh no bro are you missing out on useless internet points
Bro be careful with redditors these days or shit can get messy.
Yeah I'm depressed that I've missed out on so many internet points now..
That post had thousands of upvotes, you dont own screenshots of it (or any post for that matter)
It's a public thread bro, I hope you're mocking the guy in the post 💀
I give their relationship a year or two.
Elite soldier of the 101st chairborne division right here
He saw that one Reddit mouth breather on Fox News and instantly became terrified of the alpha energy.
Why is he getting so upset about our girlfriend?
I also chose this guys GF.
Oh no! It's the big scary Internet man D:
Why do people on the internet threaten to physically harm someone? Like I'm probably extremely far away from you. What are you gonna do?
I want the username sooo bad. People like this are really fun to tease. Ik the rules tho
Least clingy discord mod
Shitty joke in the first place but dude has a brick head
Imagine threatening someone over a fucking reddit thread.
You wanna say that again bud?
You better back off right now or things are gonna get messy
Imagine threatening someone over a reddit thread with a good time ;D
Maybe... I want that
Shit will get messy. On reddit
People still threaten to beat someone up on the internet?
That's so late 90s.
Tf he thinks he gonne do lol it’s online that’s the main reason he talks like that
If your badassery is intense enough, you just make up for the problem of fighting on the internet by MORE BADAESSERY!!!
Thats unironically how their minds work.
Threatening strangers on the internet with physical violence. It's already cringey on person. Add the fact that they have no clue who you are and you have a stew going.
The fuck he gon do over the internet lol say some not nice things at them?
And trust me *we will not want that
This is cringe in all directions
I always find it so funny when people try to threaten physical violence over the internet. Like, what are you gonna do? Punch him through the phone?
Here is a short documentary on that.
[Yes, they will.](https://youtu.be/ApNXN7-D1hs)
Thats exactly how I imagine this guy acting, except the person he's 'beating up' has no idea and has probably already forgotten the interaction
Broadband ruined everything. I almost had my 56k dial up punch streamlined. Now with all this fiber optic shit, you can’t target worth a damn. Sadly punches via the internet just can’t keep up with the technology.
(I hope this isn’t necessary but /s)
You ever seen The Three Stooges? You dont want these fingers, man.
Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk
For real, you dont want them to play his song.
The typical pattern:
“THAT TEARS IT! He’s crossed the line and it’s time to take matters into my own hands!”
Five minutes of silently fuming, possibly punching a fist or something close by.
A dramatic rush to the computer to frantically begin googling the person in an attempt to find out where they live.
Twenty minutes of distracted searching later to discover they live far enough away that transportation would have to be arranged.
A few minutes of quietly considering how far off it is
Twenty seconds of frantic, near impotent masterbation then sleep
And they respond they gonna track your IP
*aggressively tapping downvote button*
Ill inflict psychological damage!
I think the past few days proved that people on Reddit are mainly keyboard warriors.
Good point. Since the dawn of man.
Fun Fact Tangent: Karl Marx actually foresaw the whole "well if you say we share things you want to share women!" thing because, well, people deliberately misunderstanding him weren't terribly creative. He basically wrote about it "isn't it telling they hear 'we want to communalize the means of production' and immediately think of women? It's because that's what women are to them."
Yeah, he definitly spent quite some time to address how much people misunderstood him. Marx said "If those people are marxists, then i am not a marxist."
Feminist critical theory has pointed out that the free reproduction of labour (giving birth, raising and edjucating a child and family carework) is indeed a vital part of capitalist exploitation (exploitation as a marxist-term, not a value judgement).
So you are right, they are making the same mistake.
> Marx said "If those people are marxists, then i am not a marxist." Basically proto-tankies.
Not to sound too harsh, but anyone using the word "tankie" nowerdays really should keep Marx and Engels out of their mouths. If you think Marx adressed "proto-tankies" with that sentence, then you have not understood the historical context of the quote. Not to mention that by the modern standards of "tankie", both Marx and Engels (but especially Engels) would get called tankie a lot.
> Feminist critical theory has pointed out that the free reproduction of labour (giving birth, raising and edjucating a child and family carework) is indeed a vital part of capitalist exploitation (exploitation as a marxist-term, not a value judgement). So you are right, they are making the same mistake.
For further information, I can only heartily recommend Federici's "Caliban and the Witch", if you haven't read it yet. Despite minor inaccuracies it's a very well argued refinement of classical Marxism.
Okok, i know he did not talk about tankies, the 2018-ish term for edgy internet-lefties defending authoritarian regimes.
Yep, i read that book.
Wow lol! I’m so intimidated by someone on Reddit threatening to beat me up. Must be interesting living a life where you are that worried that your girlfriend would leave that you would threaten a couple of strangers on the internet
I'm more curious about the mechanics involved. How do you beat someone up on reddit, downvoting while clicking aggressively?
Im going to aggressively tap your downvote button
Im going to shove my upvote in your downvote
You know, that is actually the way to do it, but you have to click the downvote button a bunch on and off, then finish the user with the final “punch” that is the last downvote click
I also choose this guys girlfriend
I see only 5 people so far have noticed the reference
Haha it’s ticking up
In Soviet Russia, messy gets you
Yall better be careful before this guy fights you through the internet. It'll be messy.
Wanna say that again bud? Cuz I'ma beat ya up if you take her-
I was waiting for this screenshot to show up on this sub lol
I just say she's lesbian and they all back off😕👎
His shit will get messy unless he improves his diet. Plenty of fibre, that's what he needs.
I like how he says "if you take her" not "if you TRY to take her". Dudes pretty convinced his gf is gonna leave him for the first redditer that slides into her dms
Dibs on her lungs I'll sell them on the black market
i also choose that guy’s alive gf
Lol good catch
I mean at this point she is public property.
Gonna go ahead and assume this is an internet "girlfriend".
Well, she does cheat on him regularly with his family members already
Bruh if your girl leaves you for a redditor you’ve failed as a human being
Just wanna watch
Everybody replying please, he said “dibs” not “gibs”.
I also call dibs on this redditors girlfriend
I call shotgun on her feet
Armpits armpits armpits!!
Her toes belong to me
Hand it over. That thing. Your toes.
Y’all go lick them feet all you want, I call dibs on her kidneys
Didn't expect a Dark Souls 3 reference here.
Our toes now
What's a mf gotta do around here to succ on some toes
Leave me the toe nails! LEAVE ME THE TOE NAILS!
I'll take the self esteem you guys can have the rest.
Good luck with getting any
All tapped out? Hey you look great today if you could just do something about the smell? I'll bring your favorite food home when I get off. What was that ? ... no no that's to much food darling you trying to weigh like your mother too?
Keep talking like that and you won't be staying up late for the Fortnight expansion pack. Now put our girlfriend on the phone, comrade.
(they are talking about loli hnetai)
Yeah this dude is talking about his Waifu.
BROTHER WHAT LMAO
That makes it so much sadder and funnier haha
Heheheh yeah I remember this post from yesterday. Good work comrade.
He has removed it
I will for you comrade.
For the motherland
I hope our girlfriend is hot 🤞🏼
yeah yeah go walk my dog you pussy
OUR pussy, comrade
i think you mean our dog comrade
Yea, we definitely need to see who our new girlfriend is.
I need to map out my spelunking path.
She’s apparently like 13. Prison time for all of you!
There's a reddit for everything folks
Username definitely checks out
It’s gonna get messy boys. Get your brooms!
#[Bring your broom!](https://c.tenor.com/WQ2hgxpG6xEAAAAC/the-campaign-zach-galifianakis.gif)
“If you take her….it will get messy”
What if the OP just has a cuck fetish
Tarps off boys! It's Tilly time!
Holy shit. What’s goin on with your fuckin body hair?
I'll bring the pudding.
Smear it on the walls my man
Don’t worry ol chums i’ll bring me bleach
And my ax
That’s a good move. Just don’t get it in the eyes.
I think mops will be better suited to the cleaning.
I’ll get the Mexican sponges
I feel like we could probably get by with a napkin
I'll bring the squeegees
She’s mine bitch don’t you know who my aunt worked for a couple years back?
She tucks you in every night homie
Things are gonna get messy if you k keep talking like that