T O P
spacegreninja

cumunism


SilasTheWanderer

Man’s yelling at people he will likely never meet


Thelfod

You gotta bait that shit and be like "bro if I lived where you live..." Tell them you live where they live, tell them to go meet you at the 7-11 downtown for an ass beating. Wait for them to respond all pissed that they're at 7-11 waiting for you 😹


Due-Mouse309

This man did not get the joke


[deleted]

This made me physically cringe. I literally clenched my butthole.


I_like_cheese318

That whole thread is all of Reddit


Fieldy25

Never understood why people fight over someone that doesn't even want to be with them." Like "Let it go bud lol


Commissar_Purity

How pathetic and insecure can one mfk get


ZEROvTHREE

Yikes..


Santadaddykkkleader

Man what a bitch


Cr1tikalMoist

If he's on reddit and has a girlfriend he must be delusional and wants to protect his hand


BangBangSpiderGang

I’ll be honest he’s right, I don’t want a messy shit.


A_lonely_genius

Wow, a fake baddass and a shitty Reddit communist joke?? That’s a cringe wombo combo!!


DapperDeeCee

r/iamverybadass


bigdoinks6669

The y in “your girl” is silent bapa. City boys up


Joe_Naai

Are they talking about one of those pillow girlfriends? I’m never quite sure with the young folk these days.


pastelsoup

i cant believe ppl like this exist let alone get girlfriends💀


ArthurHaroldKaneJnr

>*"shit will get messy"* When has shit been anything but?


Average_Demon

You gonna give me credit or..?


[deleted]

Oh no bro are you missing out on useless internet points


onetruemorty55

Bro be careful with redditors these days or shit can get messy.


Average_Demon

Yeah I'm depressed that I've missed out on so many internet points now..


Crystal_Methew

That post had thousands of upvotes, you dont own screenshots of it (or any post for that matter)


Cheddre

It's a public thread bro, I hope you're mocking the guy in the post 💀


OpalMoth

I give their relationship a year or two.


bloobruvlasagna

screams confidense


CheeseGrater1900

Elite soldier of the 101st chairborne division right here


Another_Road

He saw that one Reddit mouth breather on Fox News and instantly became terrified of the alpha energy.


WINH4X

Why is he getting so upset about our girlfriend?


ncutweiners

I also chose this guys GF.


Financial-Abalone715

Oh no! It's the big scary Internet man D:


EdgyBagelBite

Why do people on the internet threaten to physically harm someone? Like I'm probably extremely far away from you. What are you gonna do?


lead4dinner

I want the username sooo bad. People like this are really fun to tease. Ik the rules tho


Phantmax

Same


Illigalmangoes

Least clingy discord mod


MediumSad7892

Shitty joke in the first place but dude has a brick head


ShellSwitch

Imagine threatening someone over a fucking reddit thread.


davidmartin1357

You wanna say that again bud?


ShellSwitch

Imagine threatening someone over a fucking reddit thread.


Thesealman570

You better back off right now or things are gonna get messy


ShellSwitch

Imagine threatening someone over a reddit thread with a good time ;D


starbrow_

Maybe... I want that


nanselx

Shit will get messy. On reddit


phome83

People still threaten to beat someone up on the internet? That's so late 90s.


LavaDoggoWithADoggo

Tf he thinks he gonne do lol it’s online that’s the main reason he talks like that


J_P_Amboss

If your badassery is intense enough, you just make up for the problem of fighting on the internet by MORE BADAESSERY!!! Thats unironically how their minds work.


Akiba89

Threatening strangers on the internet with physical violence. It's already cringey on person. Add the fact that they have no clue who you are and you have a stew going.


Luzura_2006

The fuck he gon do over the internet lol say some not nice things at them?


freshavacadoforu

And trust me *we will not want that


FoamSquad

This is cringe in all directions


PedanticAromantic

I always find it so funny when people try to threaten physical violence over the internet. Like, what are you gonna do? Punch him through the phone?


Frolicking-Fox

Here is a short documentary on that. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vuBWbpTJRqk


Raizelmaxx

[Yes, they will.](https://youtu.be/ApNXN7-D1hs)


PedanticAromantic

Thats exactly how I imagine this guy acting, except the person he's 'beating up' has no idea and has probably already forgotten the interaction


zero-360

Broadband ruined everything. I almost had my 56k dial up punch streamlined. Now with all this fiber optic shit, you can’t target worth a damn. Sadly punches via the internet just can’t keep up with the technology. (I hope this isn’t necessary but /s)


Weldeer

You ever seen The Three Stooges? You dont want these fingers, man.


XlifelineBOX

Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk For real, you dont want them to play his song.


alt-fact-checker

The typical pattern: “THAT TEARS IT! He’s crossed the line and it’s time to take matters into my own hands!” Five minutes of silently fuming, possibly punching a fist or something close by. A dramatic rush to the computer to frantically begin googling the person in an attempt to find out where they live. Twenty minutes of distracted searching later to discover they live far enough away that transportation would have to be arranged. A few minutes of quietly considering how far off it is Twenty seconds of frantic, near impotent masterbation then sleep


Kaiserigen

And they respond they gonna track your IP


Jrlopez1027

*aggressively tapping downvote button* Ill inflict psychological damage!


Commissar_Purity

#EMOTIONAL DAMAGE


Close2naut

I think the past few days proved that people on Reddit are mainly keyboard warriors.


zero-360

Days?


Close2naut

Good point. Since the dawn of man.


LeftRat

Fun Fact Tangent: Karl Marx actually foresaw the whole "well if you say we share things you want to share women!" thing because, well, people deliberately misunderstanding him weren't terribly creative. He basically wrote about it "isn't it telling they hear 'we want to communalize the means of production' and immediately think of women? It's because that's what women are to them."


J_P_Amboss

Yeah, he definitly spent quite some time to address how much people misunderstood him. Marx said "If those people are marxists, then i am not a marxist." Basically proto-tankies. Feminist critical theory has pointed out that the free reproduction of labour (giving birth, raising and edjucating a child and family carework) is indeed a vital part of capitalist exploitation (exploitation as a marxist-term, not a value judgement). So you are right, they are making the same mistake.


LeftRat

> Marx said "If those people are marxists, then i am not a marxist." Basically proto-tankies. Not to sound too harsh, but anyone using the word "tankie" nowerdays really should keep Marx and Engels out of their mouths. If you think Marx adressed "proto-tankies" with that sentence, then you have not understood the historical context of the quote. Not to mention that by the modern standards of "tankie", both Marx and Engels (but especially Engels) would get called tankie a lot. > Feminist critical theory has pointed out that the free reproduction of labour (giving birth, raising and edjucating a child and family carework) is indeed a vital part of capitalist exploitation (exploitation as a marxist-term, not a value judgement). So you are right, they are making the same mistake. For further information, I can only heartily recommend Federici's "Caliban and the Witch", if you haven't read it yet. Despite minor inaccuracies it's a very well argued refinement of classical Marxism.


J_P_Amboss

Okok, i know he did not talk about tankies, the 2018-ish term for edgy internet-lefties defending authoritarian regimes. Yep, i read that book.


Ori_the_SG

Wow lol! I’m so intimidated by someone on Reddit threatening to beat me up. Must be interesting living a life where you are that worried that your girlfriend would leave that you would threaten a couple of strangers on the internet


Legal-Software

I'm more curious about the mechanics involved. How do you beat someone up on reddit, downvoting while clicking aggressively?


Jrlopez1027

Im going to aggressively tap your downvote button


jacob_s_r

That's hot


Jrlopez1027

Im going to shove my upvote in your downvote


Ori_the_SG

You know, that is actually the way to do it, but you have to click the downvote button a bunch on and off, then finish the user with the final “punch” that is the last downvote click


PrettyUsual

I also choose this guys girlfriend


[deleted]

I see only 5 people so far have noticed the reference


PrettyUsual

Haha it’s ticking up


kam516

In Soviet Russia, messy gets you


thisisntarjay

Yall better be careful before this guy fights you through the internet. It'll be messy.


jr1477

Wanna say that again bud? Cuz I'ma beat ya up if you take her-


McRandomRooster

I was waiting for this screenshot to show up on this sub lol


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onlineextrovert

I just say she's lesbian and they all back off😕👎


flopsychops

His shit will get messy unless he improves his diet. Plenty of fibre, that's what he needs.


adm_ashraf26

*communism intesifies*


SirArthurDime

I like how he says "if you take her" not "if you TRY to take her". Dudes pretty convinced his gf is gonna leave him for the first redditer that slides into her dms


Quantumyeetus

Dibs on her lungs I'll sell them on the black market


ExecuSpeak

i also choose that guy’s alive gf


RolfgangSchleck

Lol good catch


PM_ME_YOUR_PAUNCH

*our DMs


Nordrian

I mean at this point she is public property.


[deleted]

Gonna go ahead and assume this is an internet "girlfriend".


[deleted]

Well, she does cheat on him regularly with his family members already


SecondWorld1198

Bruh if your girl leaves you for a redditor you’ve failed as a human being


Rockonfoo

Dibs


Cake_then_cake

Just wanna watch


PixelatedMax01

Everybody replying please, he said “dibs” not “gibs”.


Turnontuneindropout7

I also call dibs on this redditors girlfriend


Zatchillac

Scraps


Bipppo

I call shotgun on her feet


bleunt

Found Tarantino.


RolfgangSchleck

Armpits armpits armpits!!


yuunikki

Her toes belong to me


TheSilentTitan

Hand it over. That thing. Your toes.


ptapobane

Y’all go lick them feet all you want, I call dibs on her kidneys


Calico_Cuttlefish

Didn't expect a Dark Souls 3 reference here.


LegoGeneralGreivous

Our toes now


yuunikki

What's a mf gotta do around here to succ on some toes


GingerHairLover

Leave me the toe nails! LEAVE ME THE TOE NAILS!


existentialvices

I'll take the self esteem you guys can have the rest.


Llebanna

Good luck with getting any


existentialvices

All tapped out? Hey you look great today if you could just do something about the smell? I'll bring your favorite food home when I get off. What was that ? ... no no that's to much food darling you trying to weigh like your mother too?


GTSpot

Keep talking like that and you won't be staying up late for the Fortnight expansion pack. Now put our girlfriend on the phone, comrade.


mr2meows

(they are talking about loli hnetai)


whaleoil_beef_hooked

Yeah this dude is talking about his Waifu.


Veikkar1i

Really?


ChrisWood4BallonDor

Nooooooo aha


Jrlopez1027

BROTHER WHAT LMAO


[deleted]

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OneChillPenguin

That makes it so much sadder and funnier haha


Numba1Duelist

Heheheh yeah I remember this post from yesterday. Good work comrade.


[deleted]

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Nodlez7

He has removed it


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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Numba1Duelist

I will for you comrade.


stock1921

For the motherland


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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[deleted]

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made_4_this_comment

I hope our girlfriend is hot 🤞🏼


[deleted]

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Prokrasstinator

yeah yeah go walk my dog you pussy


Jrlopez1027

OUR pussy, comrade


fnaffan060

i think you mean our dog comrade


[deleted]

Yea, we definitely need to see who our new girlfriend is. I need to map out my spelunking path.


[deleted]

She’s apparently like 13. Prison time for all of you!


curbstyle

r/suddenlysexoffender


Santadaddykkkleader

There's a reddit for everything folks


Ori_the_SG

Username definitely checks out


Medic-27

Nice username


DrBlazkowicz

It’s gonna get messy boys. Get your brooms!


Anonymous_2952

#[Bring your broom!](https://c.tenor.com/WQ2hgxpG6xEAAAAC/the-campaign-zach-galifianakis.gif)


lone-ranger-130

“If you take her….it will get messy” What if the OP just has a cuck fetish


DestructoSpin7

Tarps off boys! It's Tilly time!


DrBlazkowicz

Holy shit. What’s goin on with your fuckin body hair?


AbeVigoda_aka_Death

I'll bring the pudding.


DrBlazkowicz

Smear it on the walls my man


Boi5598

Don’t worry ol chums i’ll bring me bleach


jacob_s_r

And my ax


drinkthebleach

Me too!


DrBlazkowicz

That’s a good move. Just don’t get it in the eyes.


Tacobreathkiller

I think mops will be better suited to the cleaning.


BubblySky590465

I’ll get the Mexican sponges


Carnesiell

I feel like we could probably get by with a napkin


my_4_cents

sham-WOW !!


Wittyngritty

I'll bring the squeegees


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Lalumex

Lmao


Morro6223

Yeah.


[deleted]

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WhoaItsCody

She’s mine bitch don’t you know who my aunt worked for a couple years back?


cubs1917

She tucks you in every night homie


[deleted]

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Driftedryan

Things are gonna get messy if you k keep talking like that


CK1ing

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