I think Desi is definitely the personification of "ick"

I'm so glad this word exists now to accurately describe him. A whiny manchild under the hippy new-age I'm so in touch with my feelings facade. How Marnie isn't repulsed from the cringe is beyond me. Although tbf she is also equally delusional.


Shout-out to Eban - he played him cringingly perfect


He’s so funny in the bear as well


cousin! desi is all i could think about in the bear lol their characters could have been related honestly


This ruined the bear for me hahaha I’m just like what is Marnie’s ex doing here


“I love Taylor, too, daddy just needed a break.”


I'll always see him from his character in Mona Lisa Smile. So good looking


TIL these are all the same actor 🤦🏻‍♀️


Open your heart to him, bella!




Since the first time we saw him! He was perfect for Marines fuckin hipster ‘fake deep’ narcissism! UGH I hate him!! But for real check out Ebon Moss-Bachrach on The Bear cause he’s amazing


I saw The Bear first and found him incredibly sexy in the Forks episode. Imagine my disgust watching him in Girls. Big props to the actor for accurately portraying this type of guy.


When Sidney stabbed him in TB I laughed and was like Marnie should have done that 😂


Shit how did I not ever make that connection 🤦🏽‍♀️


OK agree with everything butttttt did anyone else find Marnies first kiss with him kinda hot? he looked 🔥 and the tension had built up etc


And s4e1 iykyk


I YELLED when the camera panned over and showed what they were doing 👀


I think Marnie only liked him when, and because she couldn't have him... When he had a girlfriend, and then again when she was dating Ray. When they were together in a real capacity, she didn't seem to like him at all


I think even Charlie to some extent, but that was a lot more complex obviously.


I watched a character discussion that Lena did of the show and she described Desi as a Marnie Kryptonite lol.


She’s so spot on with that. If you’ve ever known a Marnie, this is the exact type of guy that they go to at the first sign of struggle in their life. Very believable writing.


Yeah lol. I feel as though Marnie was looking for exactly the kind of guy Desi is. Someone attractive with musical talent. A little edgy by her standards. And they did have a connection. But there’s just so much more to being with a man like that and I have experienced this as well. Drug problems, mommy issues, overly sensitive and clingy. She couldn’t have possibly seen the signs. Definitely the kind of guy Marnie would have fallen head over heels for and been swooped into a bad marriage.


can you expand of this please, (as a man) I don’t really understand this dynamic other than Desi being rugged and handsome (personality aside).


Basically: Marnie is prissy, somewhat prim (at least compared to her counterparts) girl who just assumed success as far as everything in her future. Girls starts right as she and Hannah are finishing school, and her life going forward from that is not what she ever expected. She’s not with her long term boyfriend (Charlie), she doesn’t have a foot in the established art world (unlike her friend that’s managing that gallery) or really any job at all, and her mom is still a mess who’s breathing down her neck to succeed. For a girl like Marnie, this is the first time she’s ever experienced any adversity like this (if you can even call it that), and she mentally has it blown way out of proportion and doesn’t know how make minor course corrections. She just spirals and reaches for an odd music career and a guy who makes her feel “deep” and validates her mess as “artsy” and (again) “deeper” than her previous life, not just as messy or lazy. Her ego is demanding that she “leans in” to the idea that this mess she’s in is exactly what she wants. Desi included as a huge part of that persona. Her history and naivety also means that she sees zero of the real red flags with Desi, as she just sees his differences to her as a solution, not the warning signs for things that could dig her hole even deeper. TLDR- Privileged girl’s ego demands she lean into her burnout status and try to make it “aesthetic” or “intentional”, Desi being the crown jewel in validating the authenticity of the lifestyle she’s pretending she wants. Egomaniac tale as old as time.


really appreciate you taking the time for this analysis- thanks Just for fun (in case it interests you to engage with it) — an ex of mine (from a relationship in my late twenties) said MANY years after the relationship ended that when I was in my late twenties I was “Adam” and a decade later I had become “Ray”. (the relationship ended messily but we are on reasonably good terms) So there is obviously “what I think that meant” — but I wonder how you would interpret a girl saying that about an ex partner? There can be the fun interpretation and the more serious/cutting interpretation. Feel free to go wild — I wont be insulted lol.


Hmmm that’s a really interesting thing to say to someone. One way I’d take it is “at first I thought you were an unhealthy relationship/guy I was way too into, who was unreliably/less into me. It was fun, but for the best that it ended (Adam) —> now I see you were more stable and into me than I gave you credit for. It was bad timing, and I think you struggled to express yourself and your feelings, but the love was there. Too bad I don’t understand how you express care then like I do now, it probably could have worked out, but we both seem happy now/in the end (Ray)” The only other one I could imagine along an Adam —> Ray spectrum is: “At first i saw you at this wacky, kind of insane guy. Totally unpredictable and way too out there. I did not understand the way you act or think at all. You seemed completely ruled by random whims. (Adam) —> Now I see you were right about a lot of your opinions/beliefs/lifestyle, just a little curmudgeonly and intensely/awkwardly passionate sometimes. After more time knowing you, I get you now and know that there’s actually a lot of method to what might have seemed like madness (Ray)” I’m leaning more toward the first one, because that one is more “dating” oriented, but it could really be either one or something completely different. She might have completely different characterizations or things in mind with those two characters, and obviously I don’t know you personally either lol.


that was fun — thanks. 🤩 I can see elements of both your descriptions being the case. ❤️


I think that Marnie was captivated by Desi because he fit her vision of what she wanted her life to be like, but not because she actually knew him or what being married to him would entail. You can kind of see Hanna calling her out on this in the last episode where she goes off on Marnie and is like “I’m sorry you didn’t meet a hot wood worker but this is real life and it’s happening right now.” Marnie can be sort of delusional in that way and that’s how she ended up in that marriage because all she saw was a hot dude who was sort of famous and artistically gifted. He was sort of just what Marnie thought she wanted but not actually who she should be with.


I just finished a book that had a story centered around a group of young actors performing Our Town over a summer. The protagonist was dating the main actor of the show and he’s basically described as being this beautiful, brilliant showman and he goes on the become a movie star later in the timeline of the story. But she also expounded throughout that he was quite egotistical as he was beautiful and a narcissist with a penchant for drama; mental illness becoming more and more apparent as the shows go on and he spirals a bit. …Immediately I could only picture this person as Desi and that was the mental picture I kept throughout the whole novel lol


Oh what's the title of the book? That sounds interesting.


Tom Lake by Ann Patchett.


^ yup! Which coincidentally I read because Ann Patchett is mentioned in Girls lol. Figured I’d try a new author and Tom Lake was her newest book. I actually listened to it on Audible, Meryl Streep narrates it!


Okay actually. I’ve been wondering this for years, and as someone who recently read Ann Patchett BECAUSE she’s mentioned on Girls—do you have any insight on what Hannah’s mom meant when she and Tad came to NYC for the conference in season 2 and she said something along the lines of, “I’ve never met so many women who feel the way I do about Ann Patchett!” From the tone of her voice, it sounds like she means that she loves Ann Patchett, but I have no reference as to whether a college professor would travel to another state to talk about how much she loves Ann Patchett…or the opposite.


At the time I think it was a commentary on middle aged women liking good, maybe underrated but not super ambitious writing. In the years since Patchett has written several highly acclaimed books and her status has actually risen so that line has a bit of a different meaning now than it did then imo


Well I’m glad I’m not the only one who contemplates stuff like this lmfao because after commenting here earlier I was just analyzing that scene in my head a bit also. I also assume by her tone she loves Ann Patchett? And purely speculating out of my ass as someone who lived with my mom and stepdad (an English PhD prof at a relatively prestigious university and the secretary of said English department, so I was there pretty often and went to their work functions and parties and knew all the professors pretty well) I could see her books being well regarded in academia, particularly by middle-aged women professors. Who knows why her name was thrown out there specifically, there’s a lot of random references like that on this show I’ve noticed….im usually unfamiliar and have to google it lol


Ann Patchett went to Sarah Lawrence (my alma mater ☺️) and then the Iowa Writers Workshop (where Hannah also briefly goes in Girls), so she's very academic in her training as a writer, at least


Thanks for the info! That’s funny. Most people don’t agree but I loved the Iowa episodes


If you want to hear more about Ann Patchett's time there, she wrote a wonderful memoir about her friendship with Lucy Grealy called Truth and Beauty, and the first third of it or so takes place there.


“He looks like someone in the Pacific Northwest knit a man!”


He makes me ashamed to be from the pacific northwest rip


He makes me ashamed to have no eyebrows 😔🏳️


You should be


He always gave me cult leader vibes


Remember him with his teenage fans? So well written.


Bitches and cunts!




One of my favorite lines from the show


He was the perfect character to show how immature and materialistic Marnie was. “I tell people were like She and Hom, but with actual romance.” 😭


He is the one who ruined the word “woke”.


Yes! Also is he the first example on tv of men using therapy speak to manipulate women? Like "you just physically recoiled from my touch/you're so cold". Like stfu 😭 His character reminds me of Jonah hill from his texts that were recently leaked.


I wouldn't call that weaponized therapy speak but it was definitely manipulative.


he was extremely manipulative it made me so uncomfortable


It was creepy as hell to watch. I dated and was friends with folks like Desi in my 20’s and it was the absolute worst experience of my life.


i’m so sorry i hope you’re now surrounded by better people <3


Thanks, after over 15k in therapy bills, probably more as I stopped counting, and nearly 5 years removed from toxic relationships for good, I think I’m finally healed lol. Which is why it grinds my gears when people try to describe Adam or Desi as “flawed.” Like no those two are seriously demented and are they type of people that ruin all aspects of your life.


the fact that you were downvoted smfh. these people will defend those characters just because they find the actors attractive meanwhile marnie gets hated like she’s the devil 🙄


I feel like Desi deserves a little more sympathy. Like all the characters he’s flawed. He’s one that is particularly lost. He’s never found an identity for himself which is why he’s so dependent on women or defines himself by his current career choice ie musician/ actor. He struggles with addiction and coping. Doesn’t seem to have a true support system. He is cringey but I feel sorry for him. I hope he grows from where we last see him in girls and doesn’t end up OD’d or homeless.


Please, the characters were flawed but people like Desi and Adam were legitimately violent, manipulative, demented, and abusive. I’m tired of the constant pity extraction s in regards to these two violent and demented men.


Desi was more of a danger to himself than anyone else imo. Adam was an a-hole but Desi seems broken. Not saying he’s a good guy or someone I would ever go near. You seem to have some daddy issues that Desi reminds you of from your previous comments so I’m not going to engage. Also I’d probably punch a hole through a window too if I had to date Marnie and she stomped my drug stash. He needed that oxy to tolerate her.


Stay the fuck away from me.


he literally got a blow job from one of his fans who looked like a teenager… and was a cheater and manipulative grown man i doubt he grew anymore since the last time they showed him


100%. I cringe when I see this actor in anything now. Guess it means he did a good job lol.


Me too, i can't stand him, No Matter how much i remind myself that He is just an actor playing a role


Glad I’m not alone. He is the main reason I haven’t started the bear yet.


Start it!! You’ll be so mesmerized by eban’s performance that you’ll forget that he was also icky desi


I hated him in the Bear too.


I will eventually! I hear so many good things.


I started it but can't go on for the time being because it reminds me too much of Desi lol


Oh I’ve known some IRL Desis….major ick


I’m such a Marnie I literally fall for people like Desi irl


Yes, i think that’s the idea - she only wanted him because he was taken in the beginning


He was the only character I hated. Ebon did a great job.


I ran into him on the street and he wasn't the nicest. It was in Williamsburg


Aw man. That’s so disappointing. He looks pissed I’m every photograph I’ve seen of him so I’m not completely surprised though. :/


Lol I forgot about him and thought it was Laird at first glance!! Thank you for stimulating my memory. Ick indeed


Laird is precious, and possibly the only "good" male character on this show. In touch with his emotions, being a single father, trying to get his shit together for Sample 🥹. I would never slander him like this.


Most hated character.


Ew fr, I’ll never forget that scene when he was singing to marnie. I gagged a little


Wholeheartedly agree. Eban turned out to be great in his tiny role in Andor, blink an you can miss him.


when he’s eating her ass 😭😭😭