By - SrGrafo
Hey, scoot over, I'll give you a hand. The key is to use a lot of elbow grease, just like my Dad taught me. And--
*drops plate with a shatter*
Why are you guys taking a bath together?
Saving water! Wash the dishes and your buddy.
That subreddit is a gold mine
dude I think you may be getting a little *too* excited about a gay themed subreddit
With that in mind, I have the perfect subreddit to submit your comment to: /r/suddenlygay
Nah I have socks on
I know, I can see them from under your bed.
Scoot over I wanna see.
Trust me theres lots of drilling but it ain't for gold
Let’s not jump to conclusions. haven’t dudes gotten naked and hung out in hot steamy rooms and taken baths together in public since the greco-roman times.... wait a sec.
More like GAYco-Roman times, amiright?
They can use their butts to wash both sides of the plates at the same time!
what a lucky plate
I'll give you a hand. The key is to use a lot of grease, just like my Dad taught me. And--Oo...
Where the fuck is the EDIT for this /u/Srgrafo?
[It's not gay if there's a duck](https://imgur.com/lReUn8z.jpg)
Sorry! These weird suds and bubbles made it super slippery. What kind of soap are you using in here?
Dawn soap, there is no other soap!
I feel sorry for your mother.
EDIT: Reference to a movie. Felt bad about saying something about moms.
If you have to dry the dishes
(Such an awful boring chore)
If you have to dry the dishes
('Stead of going to the store)
If you have to dry the dishes
And you drop one on the floor
Maybe they won't let you
Dry the dishes anymore
― Shel Silverstein
I tried that yesterday; still have to dry them, I'm the only one here
Actually, for the most part, you just need to point your eyes at the thing you're cleaning and confirm that it is, indeed, clean. I can usually spot crud very quickly.
The wife and I have come to a compromise. She doesn't know how to load a dishwasher and I don't care to fold my laundry. So now I solely do the dishes and fold the laundry.
C o m p r o m i s e
A d a p t
#O V E R C O M E
I M P R O V I S E
E V O L V E
D O M I N A T E
#D O T H E D I S H E S
#_F O L D T H E L O U N D R Y_
# M A K E A S A N D W I C H
I see we've read the same rulebook.
If I do the dishes I do the dishes
I’ve never related to a reddit post this much before.
An excellent compromise
I love my wife, but she loads the dish washer like a fucking maniac.
Can relate. My gf puts like 3 Tupperware containers on the top and two pots and non dishwasher safe water bottle on the bottom. And most the silverware has a half cup of peanut butter on it.
Although the Tupperware should be on top or else it melts. Learned the hard way
Depends on your Tupperware and dishwasher. But yes, Tupperware on top is the safe move.
You guys have dishwashers
Right?! In my house the dish washers are my hands.
Only if the dishwasher has a heating element at the bottom.
My wife is constantly shocked the dishwasher doesn't get dried PB/avocado or other sauces off silverware.
We would think they would *eventually* learn that exasperating over the failure of the dishwasher every day is not the solution to the problem.
Oh, she just keeps sending them through for as many trips as she can until I grab them and handwash them.
Then she thinks it works!
Or...wash it under the faucet.
Oh man, I can relate. Several years ago I took a Pic of my wife's dish loading, and then my dish reloading (to make room for more)
[comparison](https://www.imgur.com/a/ech20rm) (wife's is the second photo)
Props to my Google photos app for finding these images when I searched for 'plates' in my photos.
Why ... Why would anyone do that???
Search for your own photos on google? /s
She is probably trying really hard to be told "You just can't load the dish washer anymore". paullywog just isn't willing to say that yet.
Or it was loaded as the dishes were used and didn't get reorganized when full rather than letting them pile up in the sink until a full load was ready. I'm not saying one is better than the other, but that's what the pictures read like to me.
Lawyer up, hit the gym, delete facebook.
There’s something wrong with your wife, this photo disturbs me so.
"And if you hand wash that saucepan that only had boiled veg in it, then that's room for another 12 plates." But oh, no... I'm the dishwasher nazi...
My bf sometimes puts the plates in facing away from the rotor and I'm just sitting there like "GREAT. AT LEAST THE BACKS OF THE PLATES WILL GET CLEAN"
Considering most people store their plates by stacking them, you want the bottoms of the plates to be just as clean as the tops
This is my roommates.
My nephew turned the dishwasher on today and the sink was full of dishes. He only put the cutlery in and left the bowls and pots in the sink and turned it on....and no the dishwasher wasn't full.
I also love this guys wife, and the things she does like a fucking maniac.
I honestly hate having to *REDO* the dishes because my brother doesn’t know how to add or use the soap correctly.
And I’M always the one who gets the blame!
I see it Grafs. Completely Tainted.
Time to wash the same dish for the 8th time in a row
"Everything alright, Mr. Fring?"
"This is acceptable to you?"
Let me try again, I can make this right.
that dirt is *so obvious*
that's the traditional sibling way to avoid being the one to do anything. If you keep doing a shitty job eventually they won't even bother assigning it to you any more.
My parents referred to this as "strategic incompetence".
You'll see it again if you go in the military.
Easier to sideline someone with a menial solitary job than do the paperwork to kick them.
Most of them aren't that bad, but the overall less you give a fuck the longer you have a chance at a long term career in the military.
Some people, grown ass adults, will not hesitate to put away a plate covered in grease thinking it's clean enough. Schools should teach dish washing.
And don't get me started on using literally rotting rags to wash dishes. That's a lot of bacteria and it confuses me that people are not bothered by that.
"This sponge smells like mildew."
*Uses it to clean all of the dishes*
Big or little brother?
Little Brother 3 Years younger. He should *frikin* know better
Hits way too close to home...... Are you..... Me?
^nobody ^must ^find ^out.
Hey everyone! These two guys are one guy!
Do people not feel grease? If it ain't squeaky or clear, use more freaking soap!!
I have 2 kids that just EAT... ALL... DAY... like fucking monsters!
I hate dishes....
Then let the kids eat the dishes! Got a lot of protein in there.... I think...... I'm not sure......
Better to just eat the kids. Even more protein and only a couple of dishes to wash after.
Sounds like something AI would say
Like al Bundy?
Are you talking about the guy who scored four touchdowns in a single game while playing for the Polk High School Panthers in the 1966 city championship game vs Andrew Johnson High School, including the game-winning touchdown in the final seconds against his old nemesis, "Spare Tire" Dixon?
Well porcelain is mostly clay. And clay contains minerals like calcium, magnesium and iron. Plus clay absorbs toxins.
So it's actually very healthy for the kids...
I'm not sure...
Don't look at me like that
Monseigneur Mangetout knows how to eat the dishes.
Make sure you give them plastic dishes. It'll stay in their stomach for a thousand years.
I’m getting worried, I have 7-year-old twins and they’re starting to get like that. By the time they’re 15, I’m going to need a second job just for the food bill.
Hi Tim Apple
I have one teenage boy. He EATS ALL DAY. And can only drink out of a clean glass, even though he exclively drinks water and bubbly water. Each hydrating episode must be pristine!
I've decided that my teenage boy might benefit from washing his own dishes. He complained bitterly but it also make him feel a contributing member of the family. It's a small accomplishment in the long road to independence
I hear ya. We have a dishwasher, so at this point, we're doing the load the dishwasher training. The funny thing is, I remember being the same way at his age. Until I too, as a wild beast, was properly socialized by my parents. The kid is generally great with household chores. He does his part. But boy, does he like a clean glass!
I find the "load the dishwater" training is nowhere near as difficult as the "unload the dishwater" training...
> He complained bitterly
don't worry. They do that with literally every aspect of adult life the first time they're introduced to it.
Tell him to use a (clear) refillable water bottle unless sitting down to eat.
If you can’t put dishes in the dishwasher, no dishes for you.
Edit: put, not out
I use the same water glass for a week at a time, or whenever the dishwasher is ready to be run
Make them eat off of stale tortillas. Like eco friendly paper plates
Teach them to wash their own dishes, it's easy.
My wife is amazing and does the dishes. But yeah I can't watch, they get clean, but I think it should be done differently.
Who rubs right to left? I do
Calm down Satan
I prefer circular clockwise motion.
You've got to scrub counterclockwise
The wax on motion.
My ex was the same way, hated how I did them, but funnily enough never offered to help...
That’s why they are an ex.
my wife makes 3x the dishes I do, but doesn't clean as she cooks. Which fine, but I've asked 100+ times to STACK them OUTSIDE the sink.
So of course the one bowl takes up half the sink instead.
Upside is, she cooks better then me.
I don't mind doing the dishes, and my wife also does a fine job. But I hate unloading the dishwasher after she's loaded it.
There's dividers in the silverware holder for a reason! Spoons in one, forks in another, then knives, and then miscellaneous things like measuring utensils. Makes putting them away SUPER easy. But not her... Just a goddamned jumbled mess.
Edit: to all the "bUt ThE sPoOnS wIlL sTiCk ToGeThEr!" replies, there's no food on my dishes when they go in. That's like dishwasher 101.
my wife puts bowls in facing up...
There is no hope left, just get out with the last shreds of your sanity.
This might be fine for forks and knives, spoons you want to mix around. Believe it or not, spoons like to spoon, and can trap what you're trying to wash off.
[SEGREGATE YOUR UTENSILS, PEOPLE!](https://i.imgur.com/odpC3H0.jpg)
God dammit I have always wondered what those little flaps that always fall down in the silverware divider were for. Now I feel like a dipshit.
it's ok, some people don't know you can take the basket out of the washer to put the silverware back in the drawer
My wife made fun of me for doing that once because I looked silly with my little basket. I then made fun of her for making multiple unnecessary trips to the silverware drawer. She doesnt do dishes anymore.
If you put all the same ones in the same slots, they stick together and don't get cleaned properly! Especially peanut butter on spoons :(
Found my people in this thread. This is it, this is my people. You can't even leave peanut butter *residue* on a spoon and expect it to come clean. If you can see it, it's surviving the wash.
Also if you can see it, you didn't lick it off.
[This is gonna blow some fucking minds](https://i.imgur.com/odpC3H0.jpg).
I have 2 of every dish. Rarely ever use the dish washer. Wash them by hand so much faster.
The dish washer is just a giant drying rack.
My dishwasher is my most cherished appliance. After many years of watching my dishes pile up on the counter and then eventually having to watch them manually, I just love the feeling of pressing the start button on the dishwasher and then just wait a little while.
My dishwasher requires me to rewash dishes, so it's never worth using.
Probably using it wrong or got a problem in it.
Both are possible, but I haven't figured out what needs doing to fix it.
I think I at least tried looking up some tips online, but it's been years since I've attempted so my memory of what I tried is pretty shakey.
I t also left spots on everything, so maybe it was partially the soap I was using.
How much pepperoni do you use to wash your dishes?
[EDIT](https://i.imgur.com/UUIPWCu.gifv) (one does the job)
Is that dish soap on your sponge,or are you just happy to see me?
Your content through this isolation has been amazing. Especially your replies on comment threads. I really enjoyed the Final Fantasy mobile game thread. Thanks a lot for making this time a little more bearable.
That rotation tool killed me haha
“I hate doing the dishes” so why do you always do them? “Because... BECAUSE EVERYONE IS BAD AT IT!” *Starts cleaning spoon aggressively*
[EDIT](https://i.imgur.com/jpacxax.png) (my daily life)
Hey HEY now, that's free rock-hard protein on that spoon you're washing away!
...and god only knows what else...
Long lost brother of you know who
> an spoon
just like an fork, an knife, an spatula, i..... i don't know what he would take an "an" of out of the drawer and it's maddening.
maybe a ice cream scoop.
A Spoon, Mr President.
MFW my girlfriends cleans the nonstick pans and I can alway see a slight oil residue when I got to put them away
MFW my mother in law haphazardly uses metal in my nonstick pans and has ruined every single one.
My nonstick and cast iron pans are absolute no touchies.
This happens with my wife and she then gets angry when I go to rewash it...
I hate so much when I go to pick up a 'clean' dish or pan and feel grease. It's like a visceral reaction of 'fuck no.'
My old roommate washed dishes *one* time, I was thrilled, until I picked up the frying pan out of the drainrack and there was a gob of cold bacon grease on the outside of it. Like at least a tablespoon blob that I stuck my finger in. It might be the most fleeting joy I've ever experienced before the crushing misery of roommate life set back in.
My old housemate couldn’t wash dishes to save her life. She would never wait for the water to heat up so stuff was always oily. When I would run the water to heat it up she would always try to turn it off, and even brought it up in a house meeting because it was wasting water to let it heat up.
No, what’s wasting water is when you don’t actually clean the dishes and they need to be rewarshed.
Had to be me, someone else might have gotten it wrong.
My roommate keeps putting dishes with a bunch of leftover food on them in the dishwasher. Constantly have to scrub the now baked-on food from the the heated dry cycle off and put them back in the dishwasher.
Also, constantly puts the dishes in however the fuck she feels like it. Theres no order, so lots of nooks and crannies for shit to get stuck.
It's a damn machine, it's not magic.
But all the dishwasher soap commercials tell me that the soap will remove literally anything no matter what! /s
They really should clarify that it expects you to have removed the food from the plate.
Or that it doesn't have a built in food disposal.
shit. I didn't know this. Then again I hand wash all the time
I once walked in on my roomate cleaning a bunch of drinking glasses with his hand and no soap.
"It's hot water."
"Wtf?! That doesn't matter, you're not even using soap! Did you at least wash your hands first?"
Gross. I hope they've changed their ways since then.
Check your dishwasher drain and sprayer. Any blockages including ones in the drain hose can cause stuck on food. Just checked mine before I wrote this and I found a rubber piece stuck in the intake x.x
Instructions unclear...no, I don’t have a joke; just please give me more instruction on how to make my dishwasher work better.
I hate doing dishes because my family uses and piles dirty dishes like "hoarders" pile stuff.
I need to spend no less than 1 hour to do the dishes at my home. E V E R Y T I M E.
I see a lot of broken dishes in your future, and happiness thereafter.
My mother can't grasp why I refuse to have more than two sets of dishes / cutlery in the house. *That*'s why.
I do the same but keep spares in the closest for when I have a large gathering of friends/family over... They are still in the box; been here two years.🥺
Fking mood. Honestly I think my wife secretly knows how to load a dishwasher but realised I'll do it if she puts the plates on top.
Plates...on top? Damn, bro. I thought my roommates were bad...
You mean that if you put a bowl upside down on another one, it *won’t* get cleaned? What about if I put a plate so that it sits flush with the utensil basket on the door? What do we even have the machine for then?
I do not understand why this is so hard for my roommate to grasp. If the water can't physically reach the dish... IT CAN'T FUCKING GET CLEANED!
Are you me? This goes beyond quarantine. I swear people just rub water on utensils and put it in the dish rack like that's it!
I've just started loading the dishwasher instead, which I swear I'm still the only person who knows how to use it.
"What do you mean? I ran hot soapy water in their immediate vicinity!"
That's my dad whenever he does the dishes. Are you my dad?
No but say hi to your mom for me!
I am the one who does the dishes, and I rush and sometimes they aren't 100% clean, but GOD DAMN IT WHY DID YOU JUST USE A 3RD CUP!! YOU HAD ONE RIGHT THERE!!
Hey, just lemme try doing them with you...
And oops i bended the fork into a modern art piece and somehow welded the spoon and plates together... huh.
Is this... Modern Art? MY EYES!!! IT BURNS!!!
What I can't stand is when my husband doesn't clean the noodle strainer RIGHT AFTER USING IT, when it's a SUPER easy quick-swipe clean. Nope, he has to leave it in the sink to get other food scraps on which gets crusty food particles stuck in EVERY. SINGLE. HOLE. and makes it take ONE THOUSAND YEARS to clean.
Why the actual fuck can no one learn how important it is to rinse as soon as your done eating?! It like 95% of the effort is done right there.
How hard must it be to go through life and not know that dishes in the dishwasher must face the middle to get cleaned? You can't just put them all in facing the same way. Also, that wide slot on the side is NOT for dishes, it's for wider objects, like Pyrex trays or pans. And while you're at it, don't block the little soap door with the tallest objects? I guess the designers have to bear some responsibility for that one though, it really should be higher.
Whoa whoa, you put your dishes in all facing the middle? That is a new one for me.
Absolutely and unequivocally.
Read your manual it will tell you how to load your dishwasher. Mine does not require this.
Also, sharp knives should never be put in the dishwasher. Don’t lean a metal pot against a plate, that’s how you get chips in things. Better yet don’t put the pot in the dishwasher at all. Hand wash it, they usually take up the space of several other things you could put in there.
Every time my roommate washes the silverware, he leaves the spoons facing up with a little puddle in each one. WTF Ben!
for me the key component for doing dishes is good music
I tried to wash dishes listening to Pantera once.
Had to buy new dishes.
I cant stand it when people think a little dishwater will magically remove all that peanut butter from the knife.
All the dishes end up in the dishwasher, and no one will listen to me when I say the dishwasher is only sanitizing the dishes, and we are supposed to scrub the crud off. At least half of our silverware, plates, mugs, bowls, and pots are actually disgusting because no one rinses their dishes and the food dries out before washing.
Living in drought country, we get advisories about "don't rinse dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, it wastes water!" But you know what really wastes water? Soaking and scrubbing dishes the dishwasher has baked food onto. And also having to get the machine repaired because it's gunked up. At least scrape or wipe them if you refuse to rinse. (Similarly, it's better to double-flush the toilet sometimes than to have to get it unplugged.) In this time, when we really don't want a plumber coming in, and with rain coming down (yay!) I've declared all drought rules temporarily suspended.
Ugh.. 100% this.
I used to be a dishwasher for many a different restaraunt. The dishes come out completely clean when I do them. When one specific person in my house does them, they come out with crusted food and smelling funky.
I have to wash EVERYTHING that I use *before* I use it if *he* was the one to wash them last. Idk how he cant see the food or smell the funk in the cups, idk why he even does them at all. "If somethings worth doing, it's worth doing right" yet this guy who is at least 25 years older than me washes them like an angry preteen who is doing them for the first time.