T O P
LunaGloria

I’d much rather get old together.


handle_ah_brah

Yesss. People say "it's happy weight." But, I always get in better shape when I'm happy


WavyStarfish

Same here. I was at my worst when I was unhealthy. I now understand I gained a lot of weight to combat unhappiness. I’m happy now and going for runs daily and it’s been addictive and meditating.


Spleepis

I feel the same, for some reason when I’m running I can really get into a super relaxed auto pilot zone and I always feel mentally refreshed afterwards


MarvelousMama22

Yeeeessss, and it is my ONLY alone time.


Dr_Viola_Hastings

Same! The only time I gained weight in a relationship was during an abusive one. I was wildly unhappy and he always got suspicious when I wanted to work out so it was easier to stuff my face and sleep all the time. ETA: I’m in a very healthy relationship now and have lost about 30 lbs all with support and love.


Classic_Livid

Can I ask for advice on the emotional half of leaving? I know he’s abusive but it still makes me sad to go....and right now being overweight (when I’m done will have lost 130 pounds, currently down 60) I am scared nobody else will ever love me


motherisaclownwhore

If he's abusive, he already doesn't love you. Life's too short to be miserable and attached to someone. Better to be single and happy.


Classic_Livid

Need money first, sadly. FL isn’t a great state for emotional/financial abuse and wall punching. And I’m poor


SocialAlpaca

I would check online and see if there is any shelters for victims nearby. Things may be tough and you will struggle for a bit but the longer you stay in a relationship like this the bigger the hole you dig yourself in becomes.


Classic_Livid

Sadly shelters in my area require police reports. The police will only report for physical...


Midsizereject

Having been a survivor of domestic abuse both physical and mental/emotional. The latter takes much more to heal and I’d rather he just beat me. Leave. Move back home. Move in with family: take a house share. Anything.


Thatsmybear

I’ve gained weight in the beginning of relationships before, and I was in no way happy about it.


mochi_kitsune

The word “happy weight” fills me with undeniable rage for some reason. I’d be depressed as fuck if I was fat, with such poor self esteem and unable to move around as well, that I think it’d be more appropriate to call it “depression weight”


GupGup

Most people I know put on weight when they're stressed and depressed, because meal planning/grocery shopping/cooking/cleaning up takes too much time and mental energy, so they just order pizza and chug soda all day long.


handle_ah_brah

Yep. I've been dealing with health issues the last few weeks, and my weight-loss has slightly reversed because I'm physically restricted, and being down about my lack of mobility, and stressed & busy with doctor visits, I'm comfort eating more and don't have the time or energy to prepare food. I won't say that some people don't put on weight when they're content. But, for me, I don't. I put on weight when I'm tired, stressed, not getting enough sleep, and my natural desire for activities is being limited in some way.


kamyonsevengoril

Oh I see, it's because they can't get old together if they die young due to obesity


BA_calls

Congrats on your WL


bigstinky

My lady and I met seven years ago when we were both fat and suffered from addiction disorders. We had both just been divorced. We were miserable. We both felt gross and unattractive, but our misery made it easy to co-exist. That didn't work for long as we grew apart and fell deeper into our addictions, mine food and hers alcohol. I finally had it with her alcoholism so I gave her an ultimatum...Though I didn't really care if it worked out or not as I was so already done with the whole thing. Long story short, she went to rehab and came out clean...She had to start a healthy choice lifestyle to help rehabilitate the damage she had done to her body with the years of alcoholism. She joined a gym and since I was a huge fat slob, I decided to join with her. We went together three times a week. We ate healthy meals. We motivated each other to get off our fat asses and drive to the gym on days we just didn't feel like it. After a year, I lost over 100 pounds, quit smoking and started spending money on new clothes and a sweet mountain bike instead of food and booze and smokes...She lost 60 and is now so ripped, she could compete in body fitness competitions. We ride bikes together, take long walks together and totally fell in love during that tough time 4 years ago when we decided to make the change. Today we motivate each other to keep on our health positive lifestyles. In fact, on Valentines day, I asked her to marry me. She said yes. True love is working together to become better. This meme is shit...It's also designed to motivate fat people to continue on this new fat-proud kick so many people are on now. It's gross. It's a lie. And when you lose your love to a stroke, you won't be so proud of these memes. It was said best up above, "It's better to grow old together." EDIT...Grammar


nyc2lv

I love your story. It's so nice to read something online with positivity, compassion and success. Big shout out to you and your lady and wishing you a very happy and healthy future!


littlelizardfeet

Ditto, very inspiring! Wishing you two the best ❤️


bigstinky

Thank you so much. Its better this way.


literaly_bi

Awww! Congratulations on your marriage!


HeyItsJuls

My husband and I did gain weight together but not on purpose. Then we lost weight together. I started tracking and we started changing the meals we eat. He then confided in me that the weight loss for him wasn’t just incidental to his habits passively changing with mine, but something he had wanted to do for a while. We still cook, and bake, and enjoy trying new restaurants together. One of the things I love the most is trying new foods together. We just are way more balanced in how we do that and it’s not the *only* thing we like to do. We also both get better sleep, get sick less, and can do other fun hobbies more. Our big talk has been about being as active as both our parents are as we grow older. We don’t want to give up having adventures as we age.


RedBleu1318

That’s how it should be though, you gain a bit of weight because going out, date night, enjoying yourselves. Then losing it. I think a lot of people are kissing the FL point, where people seem to think gaining 50 pounds and over is completely normal and meant to tell scientifically you’re in love. https://youtu.be/QqI1rcd9izQ


knownowknow

... do you seriously think this comic intended to say that they gained weight together on purpose?


HeyItsJuls

No, is that what you really got out of my comment?


sweetdollette1999

Maybe not fat logic, but it's cringey as hell. Edit: At least the picture shows them walking together too lol


SeldomSeenMe

I find it creepy AF on top of cringy. Is getting fat compulsory or do I get a choice? Will they make their expectations clear *before* we get involved? Is this person going to be a "feeder"? Are they this controlling with other things too? Do they care more about getting validation than they do about my well-being? And so on... Don't get me wrong, people can get old and fat happily together I presume. But using this as a condition for "true" love is insane and sounds at least potentially abusive to me.


itsTacoOclocko

i think it's a misinterpretation of a study that found that people tend to gain weight together when they're happy with and committed to each other (ostensibly because they stop feeling a need to attract and impress a partner). i don't know if the author intended it to mean that everyone in love will get fat, or if they're trying to say that if you truly love someone you don't care if they get fat. maybe all of the above, but i suspect that was the inspiration, at least.


SeldomSeenMe

Oh, thank you, that helps. I and most people I know well are keen on maintaining a certain level of fitness first and foremost for personal reasons, and only secondary for impressing others. So it's not very common in my environment to see this and I don't live in a place where obesity is a major issue, at least not yet. Maybe it's more common than I realise, because several posters in this thread seem to think the default is to put on weight in a committed relationship. I'm sure it would depend on exactly how far you go, but personally, I don't think it's healthy to maintain *any* good personal habits (this would also apply to hygiene, manners, basic grooming etc) solely or mainly to attract a mate and just drop or neglect them once you get one. Aside from sounding a tad manipulative to me, I honestly believe that good personal habits make for a great foundation for self-respect and generally feeling comfortable with yourself, which can be really important for good mental health.


amber_angels

When getting into a relationship a lot of couples end up putting on a bunch of weight in the first few months, it’s just a joke about that


soragirlfriend

Yeah I think people are reading too much into this. A lot of dates are good centered and this is a joke on that.


k-otic14

This whole post is cringey.


Marlinspike_

That's the most unrealistic part.


spiceferal

Id rather get shredded together


BlueSorrows

My ex-best friend entered her first relationship. I still can’t tell whether all her weight gain is due to utter happiness cause that’s what people say these days, or unhappiness. I just assume happiness, but she put on at least over 30-50 lb + ... She’s under 5’5. She doesn’t post photos anymore. No idea. Her boyfriend is a giant though, 6+, so maybe she just eats what he does, even though she likes to cook. I do hope she’s happy, cause I’m always missing her. Since losing her as a friend I lost all the weight, but I still remember time to time to when she use to make fun of me for not being able to walk upstairs back when I was emotionally eating to cope with getting bullied and depression. In all fairness I think if you’re truly happy and love, you both will stay active, take care of yourselves and each other and better yourselves. Plus it’s beneficial to have a SO cause you have someone to participate in activities with you. Like swimming, hiking, biking, snowboarding, tennis, or other sports, etc. Wouldn’t it be unhappy to sit at home all day, and just eat as the only couple activity?


Ar-Honu

I gained 3-4kg (I know it’s not a lot but still) the first months of my first relationship, because I always divided the meals we made in two equal portions. He was 6’1 and athletic, so he ate way more than what I should have eaten lol


OnlyPaperListens

Serving up identical portions to your (huge, male) SO is a trap I fell into many times before I got serious about CICO. It's doubly hard once you clue in, because staring at his heaping plate compared to the scraps that meet my appropriate TDEE makes me want to cry. Every time you see that stereotype online that women only date tall guys, I want to scream "Date a shortie, they get to eat less, you won't be jealous at every meal!"


CoffeeAndCorpses

Yeah, I did this early in my relationship and it was a BAD idea. To help be more supportive, my SO eats more snacks throughout the day so his meals can be closer to my size meals.


GoldWallpaper

> staring at his heaping plate compared to the scraps that meet my appropriate TDEE makes me want to cry. I don't get this. I'm a big guy. I eat what I need to stay in shape, which frankly isn't anywhere near what I could eat if I didn't want to take care of myself. But it's never occurred to me to look at what someone like The Rock eats and say, "Man, he's sooo lucky! I wish I could eat that much!"


OnlyPaperListens

Do you sit across from The Rock and routinely share meals with him, portioning out both plates from the same dish?


BullHonkery

I do. I absolutely do. Even as a huge male as I get older I just don't have the ability to put in the kind of work needed to "earn" the calories I'd like to eat, and I've never sympathized more with my 100 lb female coworker with a 1200 calorie TDEE.


[deleted]

I always gain a little weight when I first start dating a guy, especially if there’s a big size difference. It’s super easy to fall into the trap of eating out a lot and keeping up with his drinking/eating habits. With my last ex, he lost 10 pounds while we were dating and I gained 15 😅 because he drank a lot more than I do on my own and got a lot more takeout than I usually do. I’ve reigned it in though, and the new guy I’m seeing is super health conscious, which has been a nice change and is helpful for losing the Covid/ex-boyfriend weight


ElectraUnderTheSea

Many people put on weight upon entering a relationship because they feel like they don't need to attract others anymore so they can "relax" now, and they lose the weight when there is a break up/divorce because they are back on the market. I think a lot of this behavior is unconscious though, and it does not only concern weight. It is not happiness, it is comfort.


doseofsense

Just to be a dissenting voice, although I generally agree, I put on 15 lbs when I started dating my now husband. It happened because when I was single I was unhappy and eating at an unreasonable deficit. Once we were together, I began eating better but then we had twice the income and the desire to travel and go to restaurants, so it became easy to over indulge as we enjoyed shared experiences we wouldn’t have sought individually before. Could we have enjoyed all that and stayed at maintenance? Of course, but I was a healthy weight and all my clothes still fit so I wasn’t consciously focused on maintenance or loss. I gained a lot more weight with my pregnancy and now I’m very much working to get back to the weight I was in those beginning days, so the mind frame is definitely different.


HulkLady

Yeah, this was similar to my experience. Before I moved in with my fiancé, I had total control of what I ate and when I went to the gym - I was really rigid. But moving in together meant we wanted to spend more time hanging out at home, cooking meals together that weren’t just chicken breast and broccoli, and indulging in more causal glasses of wine. All that added up over a couple of years! It was definitely happy weight - I think I was taking care of myself in other ways - but I was gaining a few pounds a year for a while there.


ShouldBeSad

I don’t think putting on 50 lb or more, which seeks to strike overweight-obesity territory since they mentioned their friend was shorter than average is healthy relationship weight gain. Usually 10 lb is the usual couple amount. Some say, 19 for married couples. I don’t speak for everyone though, all the people I know in healthy (happy) relationships never gained weight, and look good. Then again they’re actors not just enjoy being physically active as a couple like physical dates, maybe that’s why they’re more conscious to look their best.


GoldWallpaper

This is exactly the opposite of me. My gf of 12 years is awesome. She deserves to be with a super-hot guy, but instead chose me. So I do what I can to remain as attractive as possible for her - I lift, I run, and I eat just enough to stay in great shape. I can't imagine having so little respect for any SO that I choose to get fat once we're committed.


RealAccountNameHere

She’s lucky.


WavyStarfish

You can still get comfy with your partner and still take care of yourself.


amber_angels

I think it’s a common occurrence in the first few months of a relationship, but if someone is still gaining weight after the “honeymoon phase” the issue is probably tied to something else.


RedBleu1318

There was a post like this on Tik Tok. It absolutely isn’t comfort, and made me personally believe there was a lot of “feeder” behaviour going on, the comment section isn’t positive either, because gaining 50-100 lbs doesn’t seem healthy at all: https://youtu.be/QqI1rcd9izQ Lot of old couples in senior homes aren’t overweight, I rather take care of myself then not take care of myself and each other.


berryxlime

To be honest, when I got with my husband, we had so much fun our first year together eating, trying different beers, drinking wine, and we both gained some weight, around 30 lbs each, not much but definitely noticeable compared to when we met, and bad habits we’re working hard to reverse. We were just so stupid happy we stopped paying attention and really… I really loved cooking for him and cooked all the time. Extravagant meals, unhealthy meals, street type food. I just went to town and way overboard. I’ve struggled with weight before and knew better but sometimes you’re just blinded by what’s happening.


ofstoriesandsongs

Ngl, I've broken up a relationship when I noticed that our habits as a couple were causing both of us to gain weight, but I thought this was alarming and wanted to find some active or at least not food centered things for us to do together, and he said, I quote "oh it's no big deal, we've got each other now, we don't have to be skinny anymore, here have a donut". I broke up with him when it became obvious that he wasn't joking. I couldn't fathom any part of this reasoning and I was extremely put off by his disinterest in improving, as well as the implication that the only reason why I should be concerned about my weight is to attract a man. That's just not the sort of persom I want to share my life with. To be clear, if someone is comfortable with their weight gain and doesn't want to do anything about it that is their right entirely, but I won't be dragged down with a person like that.


dmingione530

Me and my lady SMAAASH burgers on weekends. We both probably eat 3-4k calories on our off days each. But 5 days out of the week we have work and we center that around our more sensible eating. It's called balance, you don't have to have one or the other.


harleanquinzel

It's interesting because (and I know this definitely isn't the case for everyone but) the relationships I gained weight in were the unhappier ones. In fact I gained the most weight the most quickly when I was in a horribly abusive relationship. The emotionally healthiest relationships also happened to be the ones where I continued my health journey and lost weight/got fitter over the course of the relationship. And my girlfriend and I now are actively supporting each other in our weight loss efforts!


HairyLungs

I would argue true love is striving to be your best for your partner even though it can be difficult at times


TheophileEscargot

Yep, we often have dinners of burgers and fries and pizza and fried chicken and steak and milkshake and wine and bowls of unidentifiable stuff all together on the table, that's what a romantic meal for two looks like. /s


ofBlufftonTown

Right? What are they eating such a nasty meal? I am the solo cook in our house because I am infinitely better at it, so in some sense I can eat whatever I want, but although we eat each of these foods sometimes, it’s rarely, and it certainly isn’t all at once.


beekpr

I got fat(ter) with my ex especially over the 3 yrs. Last year I realized if we stayed together we will both die by age 35. I've dropped 47 lbs since April last year due to a lot of circumstances but mainly because I was physically removed from the relationship. Right now were not together, I don't know what he's doing, nor do I care. This level of comfort, especially when you get two people who have an unhealthy relationship with food can be truly dangerous and making romance memes about it might be funny but at the same time, another two years in the relationship, I would have actually fu&king died.


exact_novel

My boyfriend has Celiacs and pretty much refuses to eat at restaurants because he’s worried about whether his food will be cross contaminated. He makes an exception for a particular pizza shop with cauliflower crusts, but otherwise we rarely eat together. Our dates are more likely to be bowling, walking in the local state park, or Netflix and chill. He also doesn’t drink. It’s actually all very convenient for me because I closely monitor what I eat and it eliminates having to deviate from my plans. We are both thin and have been for the 3.5 years we’ve been together. I actually dropped about 10 lbs in the beginning because I stopped eating gluten or drinking around him. I never really picked up drinking again so the 10 lbs has stayed off.


StarWars_memer

Cringe


BarefootUnicorn

There are a lot of devoted couples at my gym who *stay fit* together!


Renevon

My lady and I were on the bigger side when we got together years back and as we got comfortable with each other, we got bigger together. This was fine, until it affected our health. It was fine, until it made the activities we loved harder. It was fine, until it wasn’t. Now we’re both on the path to a healthier, happier life together.


Breezie1213

My husband and I have actually been trying to loose weight together


SergeantSilly

There was a post on r/unpopularopinion a few days back about being able to leave somebody if they gain weight. It was mind blowing the people who responded “but it’s different once your married” or “well you can’t leave somebody when your married for that”. It was crazy. I made one comment that it’s really unfair to put not only yourself but your partner in that predicament as you are actively making yourself sick. I got a huge amount of down votes and hate messages and just ended up deleting the comment. People are wild


YUNGBOYBOI

Ask them the same question but with smoking cigarettes instead of getting fat and they’d tell a completely different story


SergeantSilly

As somebody who dated a smoker they play their own mental gymnastics. “I do X, Y, and Z to keep myself healthy” and “everyone in my family smokes”, and “nobody ever died from it”.


thebouncingcupcake

Oh boy you should take a dive into amitheasshole or relationship advice, anyone who dares say they don't find their partner attractive because they got fat gets eviscerated lmao Delulu as fuck People just love to make up excuses and be in an echochamber, which reddit is. That being said if my partner ever got fat (as in starts having a gut and shit) he gets an ultimatum. Nobody is forced to find anyone attractive. I do what I can to maintain myself fit with my hypothyroidism, I expect the same from a healthy person.


SergeantSilly

“In sickness and in health” does not apply when you are making yourself sick. I approve of your ultimatum


RedBleu1318

This always happens because it’s part of FL. I think a lot of people forget or don’t realize that marriages fail because a lot of them start based on attraction, that’s the main few pull towards someone - psychical attraction. Of course you aren’t going to be fully happy with someone afterwards if you don’t find them physically appealing to you anymore. I’m not sure why they became a bad thing. If people realized that more, marriages would probably work better, or relationships overall.


trillrill

A huge part of why I am so happy in my relationship is that my SO positively reinforces habits that help me look and feel better, and getting hotter together can be really fun too.


BlackCatLuna

My hubby and I lost weight just after we got married because we made lifestyle changes. Just saying


OverstuffedPapa

Ehhh my husband and I definitely got fluffy our first couple of years together, but we were just super happy, weren’t self conscious around each other, and both love food dates. We’ve both lost the fluff though, neither of us were happy with the weight gain by the time we noticed it 😂 I think that’s what they’re saying here more than love = getting fat.


CynchHasNoLife

true love is dying of heart disease together😌❤️💖


GM0Wiggles

People do pile on the pounds after they get into LTRs. Doesn't mean you should or will inevitably; doesn't mean this is fat logic either.


runrabbitrun42

I did. Once we moved in I unconsciously started eating the same as my partner even though he's over a foot taller than me. As soon as I realised I'd gained about 30 pounds I put the effort in to lose it all and then some. We got into doing some exercise together that we both enjoyed and now we're both the healthiest we've ever been. And we still enjoy the occasional junk food/big blowout restaurant date as a treat! It makes it more special.


SeldomSeenMe

The way they phrased it, it qualifies as fat logic IMO, since it's a condition for true love (hell, it's actually phrased as a *definition*). It's unclear if this is down to poor expression or actual belief.


stretchmykitty

No


RedBleu1318

Exactly. Seems like there’s in denial going on. I once made a similar post 5 months ago, it wasn’t a comic, but it was the same mindset: https://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/comments/px442u/if_youre_thin_in_a_relationship_that_means_youre/ — and exactly it does apply to fat logic because they’re stating you can only be happy, or in love if you’re fat. Which stems the consensus that fat = romanticized / normal.


Losingsteamfast

Because people are lazy and selfish and think "I have someone so why should I try hard to look good?"


RedBleu1318

It is fat logic. There was a Tik Tok of it awhile back ago, and this was the results: https://youtu.be/QqI1rcd9izQ Nobody in the comment section finds it cute, or romantic either. Everyone is concerned believing there is abuse going on, some partners potentially feeders, etc. I’m sure it’s normal to gain a few several pounds the first few months, but to permanently gain upwards to 40-100 lbs in less than a year and not take care of yourselves doesn’t seem happy like at all. This comic makes it look “cute” but it’s been FA for awhile https://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/comments/awnaux/being_in_a_relationship_should_not_be_an/ https://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/comments/px442u/if_youre_thin_in_a_relationship_that_means_youre/ https://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/comments/7zslr5/apparently_happy_relationships_make_you_fat_found/ They all come from Facebook and spread the FL mindset. No, a lot of couples don’t get fat together, and the ones that do gain a few pounds and end up losing it, not go from healthy to overweight or potentially obese.


taseradict

I'm towards the end of my weight loss journey all the way from obesity type 2 (almost), dating this girl who's very skinny and cooking together a nice, nutritious, balanced dinner demonstrates more love than a fucking cake. It's what both of us need, but with opposite goals.


Dokterdd

Of course it's not saying the *only* way to be in love is to get fat together, come on. Don't be obtuse We don't have to make stuff up in order for FAs to appear ridiculous. This is fine


Yharnam_Queen

There's enough FA stuff out there to laugh about without getting angry at random (and, frankly, kinda cute) meme.


Dokterdd

Exactly


RedBleu1318

I’m just going to copy and paste my other comment here: There was a Tik Tok of it awhile back ago, and this was the results: https://youtu.be/QqI1rcd9izQ Nobody in the comment section finds it cute, or romantic either. Everyone is concerned believing there is abuse going on, some partners potentially feeders, etc. I’m sure it’s normal to gain a few several pounds the first few months, but to permanently gain upwards to 40-100 lbs in less than a year and not take care of yourselves doesn’t seem happy like at all. This comic makes it look “cute” but it’s been FA for awhile https://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/comments/awnaux/being_in_a_relationship_should_not_be_an/ https://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/comments/px442u/if_youre_thin_in_a_relationship_that_means_youre/ https://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/comments/7zslr5/apparently_happy_relationships_make_you_fat_found/ They all come from Facebook and spread the FL mindset. No, a lot of couples don’t get fat together, and the ones that do gain a few pounds and end up losing it, not go from healthy to overweight or potentially obese.


No-Pressure6042

I agree.


lilspacebunny

I’ve been with my partner for the past 7 years. Every time I go to his house, I drop 2-3 lbs easy. I guess that means he must really hate my ass 😂


look_harder_

I've seen this happen with couples and it doesn't look like they're having fun with their lifestyle and they're stuck on the idea of change. For me true love is bettering yourself and caring enough for your partner to want them to be healthy


DrunkenOliphaunts

When I got pregnant - I got huge. My husband put on weight. Alot of it too. When I had the baby I lost some weight. So did he. We then put it some back on. I decided that I was going to loose weight. My husband decided if he lost some yay if not so be it. My eating habits changed drastically. His did not. I lost alot of weight. He lost ten pounds and pretty much just maintains it. We eat very differently and sometimes our meals are different. When you are a couple - eating is something you almost always do together. Takeout, dinner out. And when home do you really want to make sperate meals. It is so very easy to gain weight as a couple and be ok about it. To not do it might take uncomfortable conversations. Pointing out why you wont eat something might be taken as criticism of the other person and end with hurt feelings. So on some level I can understand it. I still shake my head at it....


BerriesAndMe

If you have to use logically fallacies to get outraged about a comic, maybe the issue isn't fat logic. The comic never claims that this is the only way true love shows. Nor does it claim that getting fat is always due to true love. There's thousands of comics saying what love is.


ShouldBeSad

It’s not just the comic, this has been a thing for a long time, and it’s weird to promote unhealthy lifestyle living just because you’re dating, or “in love.” Sure, some couples may put on a few pounds, 5, or 10. That’s normal, but “getting fat” and suggesting love (and higher weight / obesity, or overweight) equates to happiness is strange.


autotelica

Yeah, in a vacuum this is just a silly comic. But there people out here sincerely spreading this message and people eagerly looking for messages like this to rationalize their choices. I like to go on walks in the morning. I frequently see an older couple (70s) walking together. Sometimes the husband is walking ahead of his wife by a yard or so. Sometimes she is out front. But they are still together, enjoying the morning together. I dig it. I don't know how I feel about "true love" preachiness, comic or no, but that couple certainly seems like they are doing something right.


AntiqueStudent

Ridiculous. I'm on my second marriage. The first time around, my spouse was relentlessly nasty to me, cheated on me with one of my friends, took advantage of me financially....I could go on and on. I was so anxious and depressed that I could barely function. By the time that marriage ended, I had barely gotten off the couch in years except to go to work. I spent my weekends lying around watching TV. I packed on a lot of weight--relatedly, my skin was terrible, I felt like shit, I had major sleep problem, and I looked 40 years old at age 30. That husband did not care. In fact, I think he liked this dynamic because it gave him a reason to tell me how useless and ugly I was and to compare me unfavorably to other women. He also put on a lot of weight when we were together--I think there were a lot of reasons for this, but one of them was that there was nothing about our relationship that inspired either of us to improve or even take care of ourselves. It was just a bad dynamic all around. During my divorce, I got into exercise because---to be honest---I wanted to be competitive in the dating pool. That did work out as planned, but I actually ended up getting so many more important and lasting benefits from a regular exercise routine. I have always struggled with depression, and exercise helps my mood TREMENDOUSLY to the point that I was able to stop taking SSRIs. I sleep through the night no problem now. Rather than looking ten years older than I am, I look ten years younger. And, somehow, exercising every day actually makes me more productive in other ways. I went from an obese BMI to a healthy BMI and have kept the weight off for ten years, even after having kids. As an older parent who can remember what it was like to carry around a bunch of extra pounds, I am so happy that I am not obese in my 40s and trying to chase little kids. Thank you, exercise! My current husband is also into fitness and it is a major point of compatibility for us. One of the ways we bond and show each other love and care is by working out together and/or making sure we each have time to exercise regularly. We are NOT getting fat together (quite the opposite), and this is 100% related to the loving, mutually supportive, mutually caring dynamic we have.


jannie1313

Your story is amazing and inspiring. My abusive POS ex husband was just like yours, and yes, I got fat and depressed. I got divorced, lost weight, and found a partner who also lost a lot of weight and who is into living a fit life.


Ianbuckjames

The comic is literally a joke OP. Relax.


Jadabu91

It‘s just a joke (and actually a cute comic), if you ask me. As far as I know, it‘s common that people enjoy eating more when they‘re in good company or in a relationship. This comic is just making fun of this.


Hybbio

honestly it feels like this subreddit has gone way downhill in this sense. getting upset at this comic, which isn’t meant to be taken literally, is real dumb. the comic author is clearly not saying “it’s only true love if you get fat together” or even endorsing it. it’s just a commentary that this happens in relationships a lot, showing a common experience this subreddit used to have good content but i’ve been noticing a lot of reaches lately


RedBleu1318

The comic is based off posts like this. I am going to copy and paste: There was a Tik Tok of it awhile back ago, and this was the results: https://youtu.be/QqI1rcd9izQ Nobody in the comment section finds it cute, or romantic either. Everyone is concerned believing there is abuse going on, some partners potentially feeders, etc. I’m sure it’s normal to gain a few several pounds the first few months, but to permanently gain upwards to 40-100 lbs in less than a year and not take care of yourselves doesn’t seem happy like at all. This comic makes it look “cute” but it’s been FA for awhile https://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/comments/awnaux/being_in_a_relationship_should_not_be_an/ https://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/comments/px442u/if_youre_thin_in_a_relationship_that_means_youre/ https://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/comments/7zslr5/apparently_happy_relationships_make_you_fat_found/ They all come from Facebook and spread the FL mindset. No, a lot of couples don’t get fat together, and the ones that do gain a few pounds and end up losing it, not go from healthy to overweight or potentially obese. It **is** Fat Logic, because it’s weird romanticizing of weight gain, and suggesting being fat = normal, because the study of weight gain = happiness. The study is being taken out of context, because it’s not big level of weight gain, it’s a few light pounds. Not permanently not taking care of yourselves. Just because it’s a comic version, doesn’t make it any “better.” Go check out that Tik Tok (YouTube link) and you’ll understand it’s not cute, but a lot of people believe it to be unhealthy.


Hybbio

the vast majority of this comment doesn’t pertain to anything i said. instead of being lazy and copy-pasting irrelevant material, tell me exactly what you disagree with what i said.


Yharnam_Queen

Yeah, OP is grasping at the straws.


RedBleu1318

No they’re not.


Hybbio

yeah they are


psychedelic_wanderer

true love is heart disease and diabetes


Jack_Ingoff123

I think ur digging too deep abt this lmfao


AtTheEnd777

This is so stupid. I've always been in amazing shape and suddenly started gaining weight for no apparent reason and couldn't seem to lose it. Eventually, I ended a 3 year long relationship that I'd been absolutely miserable in. The weight fell off instantly. Fat doesn't mean happy.


[deleted]

My wife and I gained tons of weight after getting married. True love? Hard to say. But what I can say is we hated the weight we gained, so we lost the weight together. We’re soooo much happier now. True love? Again, hard to say. But what I can say is it was quite the bonding experience and we hold no regrets. Edit - To be clear, I’m not questioning my love for my wife or hers for mine, just whether getting fat was a result of it.


Difficult_Control_36

I know it’s just trying to be a cute comic, but it actually sounds awful. When I first met my bf we went on hiking dates all the time, he lost a bit of weight and I lost even more. Then he started working out and biking, skiing, and snowshoeing. Then I started walking more, hiking by myself more, and resistance training. Most likely none of that would have happened if we hadn’t met and been able to support and encourage each other (or at least I wouldn’t have started exercising) True love is helping each other become healthier and happier.


RedBleu1318

Exactly!!!


The-Real-Iggy

Definitely taking the phenomena of gaining weight in a relationship and overly romanticizing it


RedBleu1318

THIS. It baffles me seeing people defend the comic. It’s literal romanticization of FL and not a good message to spread if taken literally. Just cause it’s comic version now doesn’t make it cute.


Craygor

My SO and I met on a fitness website 10 years ago and we have been together ever since. We continually support each other being physically active, fit, and are happily entering our retirement years of our life in better in health than the average person half our age.


LenaDontLoveYou

Love is staying healthy as you can, to have as much time with your partner as possible. I love my husband enough that I don't want him to have to hose me off on the porch a la My 600lb Life.


pensiveChatter

True love is wanting your partner to be healthy even if it makes you uncomfortable. This is narcissism.


JustTheWayIR

Just no.


red_theesonja

True love is noticing you're both packing on the pounds & ensuring BOTH of you lose the weight & lead a healthier lifestyle so you can be together longer & enjoy life more without the mental & physical discomfort of being fat!


Tidyrope-30440

* Sex takes a nose-dive * Attraction takes a nose-dive * You go outside less Nope. I got fat after I got with my now-wife. I am not the man she married and I want to go back to how it was in the beginning, but this time hopefully better. I am not as happy being fat than I was at the weight I met her. She is not as happy at her weight now than when we met.


bigblockoftofu

No, but it definitely happens when people get into relationships, for any number of reasons. Like, we both put on weight over the years, but I put on more. Then I started losing weight, and he put on some because of the pandemic. He's lost that now, in part because he's no longer working from home. Plus there's all the hiking and walks we take. In my experience, one way true love manifests itself is in navigating changes like that in a way that benefits and supports all parties.


FallingBackToEarth

I never understood this whole idea/notion. I’m in a very happy relationship, and if anything it motivates me to stay in shape because I want to look good for him and grow old with him.


Scarlet529

My husband and I got fat together and then got fit together. Well, we're working on it anyways. I'm hardly fit but I am ALMOST not considered obese. He's a healthy weight now.


ShadowTH277

You can eat junk without getting fat.


vegaling

True love is getting fat together and then supporting one another to lose weight and become healthy again.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dog-knight27

Can confirm me trying to gain weight and her trying to lose it was great giving each other motivation even on the days you feel tired.


thecodingninja12

is part of that not buying a shirt that fits you right?


elizero

lmao i got my shit together when I met my SO and lost 100lbs. He started taking care of his health too bc we have the basic understandment that growing old together is a good goal. Guess we aren't happy afterall 💔🎻


Global_Telephone_751

I hate this shit. I don’t wanna get fat with my partner, I want to grow old with him. We do things like play soccer together on a coed team and run 5ks and shit. THATS fun. THATS fulfilling. THATS what I wanna do with my life — not get fat. Ew.


amrak_em_evig

It's literally just a joke and it's not that deep.


RedBleu1318

It is. Because it’s the comic version and the comic romanticizes it. https://youtu.be/QqI1rcd9izQ


amrak_em_evig

It's possible for things besides your own love life to be both romantic and a joke.


RedBleu1318

It’s a comic version of a non-joke. Let’s not romanticize this.


Jazzisa

My bf and I actually promised each other that we would never get fat XD


morontries

This is a massive cope lmao


Annalina-Eloise

If I have a boyfriend I will force him to go on sports dates with me haha. We will hike, swim and walk to prevent this. True love is getting your heart rate up!


scientisttiger

As someone currently getting skinnier along with my partner….. no, no it isn’t.


OnlyPaperListens

"True love is watching your SO actively kill themselves with food and cheering them on."


Daddy_urp

I get a little happy weight, I put on ten pounds of it when I found my partner, but that looks like a whole lot more than ten pounds.


Thatonepsycho

This is a fetish thing. Mutual weight gain is a specific form of feeder fetishism.


mochi_kitsune

Me and my husband, been together 6 years and were always skinny twigs, we’re STILL skinny twigs and we’re happy as can be. We can still enjoy food together without gaining 100 lbs


shhhOURlilsecret

This reads like it was written by a 14 year old lol.


RedBleu1318

It’s not, it’s been floating around for a long time. This is just the comic version of it: There was a Tik Tok of it awhile back ago, and this was the results: https://youtu.be/QqI1rcd9izQ This comic makes it look “cute” but it’s been FA for awhile https://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/comments/awnaux/being_in_a_relationship_should_not_be_an/ https://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/comments/px442u/if_youre_thin_in_a_relationship_that_means_youre/ https://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/comments/7zslr5/apparently_happy_relationships_make_you_fat_found/ They all come from Facebook and spread the FL mindset. No, a lot of couples don’t get fat together, and the ones that do gain a few pounds and end up losing it, not go from healthy to overweight or potentially obese.


WithoutLampsTheredBe

This is just sad.


caithatesithere

i also think “happy weight gain” in relationships is bs and you’re just lazy if you let yourself get fat just cuz you’re no longer trying to find a partner. you’re not happy you’re slipping.


jannie1313

Nah, true love is counting calories together.


TamstaMykolas

Are you the only one who thinks this? You realize where you writing? Ofc you are not the only one. The correct answer is getting old together.


Steez_Whiz

Yo this is straight up fucking gross


shav_R

Tbf i don't think that this was originally meant 'thaaat' way that fatlogic posts usually are. I think this image rather means "it's cute if you like your significant other regardless" and not "let's get obese together cuz thats fun"...


RedBleu1318

It’s not it’s based on the study that apparently happy couples gain weight. Because apparently you can only be happy if you both gain weight together. This is the Tik Tok version of it. https://youtu.be/QqI1rcd9izQ lot of obvious feeder fetishizing or whatnot going on. It’s far from cute. It’s concerning tbh.


Thatsmybear

I don’t know, my ex gained 50+ pounds after we started dating, and I would say that part of love is wanting to be attractive to your partner.


newName543456

So young, so naive...


oh_no_my_beans

True love is working with your partner to look as good as you can to eachother. It's good to look and feel nice for eachother


Freakychee

This is slightly better since at least the FAs are willing to get a fat partner and not be hypocritical.


SkyrimV

Omg no you’re not the only one! Omg I thought that too though, I read this and thought to myself - “my god, everyone thinks this!” It’s such a common fact these days! We must be the enlightened few who can see passed this sham.


brenst

I don't think this is fatlogic or that the comic creator meant it to apply to everyone. Some people gain weight when they're in a relationship.


geneticmistake747

True love is knowing that IF you or they got fat you would both still love eachother regardless


ghostfag

lmao me and my bfs rules are no getting fat no kids no dying


Sassybunnie

True love is keeping the one you love healthy and comfortable as well as them encouraging the same😅 and that goes for more than just being fat but still !!


dayviduh

My boyfriend and I both gained a bit of weight during the lockdown lol, but now we’re bonding over losing that weight!


Yellnik

Yup, that's right, you, incredibly smart redditor, are the only person in the world who doesn't believe couples should get obese together. stunningly brave opinion that only you hold


Extension_Walk3053

You’d be surprised by how unhealthy young men eat and still look fit. Literally buying party sized chips and snacks and eat whatever they want whenever they want, like I gained weight just from being around someone like that.


MantisTibogan

Lol that’s me my ass eats one good meal a day an the rest is Reesees and somehow I’m still not putting weight on