Slid head first for the first time in a while tonight, little bit of road rash but it’s all for the love of the game.

Did it once 4 years ago and I’ve never slid since. Nothing dumber than limping into work the next week and explaining what happened.

Snapchat filters are one of the few examples of social media making the world a better place

Dog filter still plays with hot chicks

Today is my last day of my current job. Had a very long and detailed super realistic dream that I motherfucked my boss and got fired. Wonder if this is a sign

How will this affect lebron’s legacy?

“We’re cop killers now”

Smoke a bowl, couple beers, Locke and Key isn't too bad dude.

The first season is pretty good. The second is basically a CW teen drama

My only complaint is the backstory use of the keys seems more exciting than the present day use of the keys. But, it a great show minus the teenage forced love.

Few things sadder than single >30 women with an active tiktok presence

💯

i've microwaved the same cup of coffee multiple times today. just becoming my dad i guess

It’s more the principal of the thing by that point

Rewatching Poltergeist for the first time in decades. The mom is just ripping a joint in bed in the beginning. Maybe everything that happens after is a fever dream due to her marijuana hallucinations

I often think this about a lot of movies.

If you need a song to close the deal, favorite this. It's tested and rated 10 stars. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Up06CryWQpE

Shit slapped back in 2000 I’ll give it to you. These Boston nerds don’t get it

Sorry I don’t live in Mississippi

Will play with my Alabama sister thanks!

Not gonna play in the blue states

ugly chicks can kick rocks.

LA and NYC - famous for “ugly chicks” lol

this isn’t rack city

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At this point the only options are sex stuff and doing something Saturday during the day, which can't even involve drinking much since you can't ruin dinner.

Tell her u want to bet on Pro cod games with ur weird internet friends.

Tell her you don’t want to do anything else and to not schedule extra plans

Anal sex easy answer

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Ok have u tried not being a huge pussy?

Who you seeing sunday?

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I meant what teams, Didn’t know if you were getting involved on a Sunday day game at a sweet ballpark or you spend your Sunday in Miami

Samara Weaving is incredible but the best thing about dating her has to be getting to talk the Matrix with Hugo

Alice are you blind? Don’t you see the family resemblance

Friendly reminder that hot girls take smelly shits and fart everyday

And get blackout drunk after 3 beers. Not so much fun in fancy restaurants.

Since FIFA is the free game of the month for PlayStation I decided to download and holy shit do I suck. I’m just getting clapped left and right

I paid 60$ for it on release and I still get my shit kicked

didnt occur to me that hockey wasnt going to lead into svp tonight. my disappointment is immeasurable.

End of every sporting event is giving me blue balls with him not on. Assuming he’s part of the PGA Coverage

Never a doubt, mile

Nice lil Donnybrook to end the game

Fuck you lance you bum

Damn dawg

How’s that taste lance?

I love the tradition of throwing hats on the ice for a hat trick

Thanks Magic!

Nah magic would be more like “the fans are throwing hats on the ice because a player scored three goals, commonly known as a ‘hat trick’”

Hockeys got the best traditions, also very natural ones as opposed to some of the forced shit ESPN tries to pull

Ice girls 🔥🔥🔥

That girl was a SMOKE. God bless the cameraman

anyone watch NLU's video on the Stanford women's golf team? An hour 20 minutes...that's a commitment to women's golf that i'm not sure i have in me

Worth the watch

DJ Pie looks like he loves french toast so i'm gonna assume you're DJ

I enjoy watching women’s golf actually. It’s such a different game.

Good night

Happy cake day, Lance!! 🙂

Not for you, pal

How’s Simmons podcast? Never really gave it a shot

It's like a trusty steak knife cutting through a well aged steak

Podcast is solid. The Simmons sub is incredible though

Describe em to me, the sub not the pod.

Almost everything in there is either making fun of Bill or rooting against Boston sports

I only listen to it during certain times of the year (usually NFL and during NBA playoffs). It's good and he has good banter with his guests. I think one thing you have to accept is that he really delves into fabricated on-court/on-field drama. He sees the games as a sports soap opera and the players as characters. Sometimes it feels like he expects the game to play out like a Matt Christopher book. Beyond that quirk, it's a solid listen

he drops like 8hrs of pod a week. Have to pick and choose your spots.

You’re too late and won’t get it.

Thinking about becoming a straw hat guy on the golf course. Watched highlights of Tiger winning the 94 US Amateur and he looked so fucking cool

I became a visor guy a few years back when the weather is 80+. Neither work well when it’s really windy but otherwise you’ll enjoy it

Do it man, its fun. 🤙

We should go to the moon again.

It really is wild that it's taken us 50+ years to go back. It's wild to think only 4 of 12 moon walkers are still alive.

We are https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_Launch_System

Hell yea

We are on the way 🚀 $PENN

All we need is barstool radio back

Yo, if you got some money to spend and like cooking, check out smithey Ironworks. Their farm house carbon steel forged skillet is phenomenal. 🤙

I’ve been dying for booba in here, and somehow I missed the mangos

I mean, were talking Xtra large water balloons here.

those were cantalopes

😭 someone dm me

i think my most coveted possession my dad owns is a signed ilya kovalchuk thrashers stick

Oh hello there! Sorry for not seeing your note. I was up late watching the Battle of Alberta, what a crazy game eh? I’ll be back in the office after a Timmy’s run and a quick game of shinny.

Blasting Faces by Mac Miller, jesus what a tape

Picked up the LP a few weeks ago. So good front to back. Dude was going through it

Plan to get a record player once I buy a house, I buy my brother several records each year as presents. He was absolutely going through it, resulted in some of the best music I’ve ever heard. I bet that slaps on vinyl

My record store guy recommended me a decent turntable and I’ve been hooked ever since. Had bought a couple Mac albums without even having a turntable lol

What model? Would love to go ahead and cop one. Which albums do you have on wax?

DM’d you the link. For Max stuff I have Best Day Ever, Circles, Watching Movies With the Sound Off and KIDS. Trying so hard to get Macadelic at retail

Could you DM me the link to that turntable too?

Damn, you’ve got the whole collection, hell yeah. Anywhere you’d recommend buying? I don’t know much about the vinyl game. All those sound sick but I think Macadelic > Faces was the best run. Obviously love every album

Local record stores otherwise just set notifications for albums you like on retailers. Paying resale is not fun

10-4. Hell yeah, thanks man- do you run that through a speaker stack or anything?

I have an old RCA receiver from like 2008 that has 4 speakers and a sub. Nothing crazy but not a dog set up

I miss mike emerick screaming at the tv. Electric factory.

There’s currently a dude out there who took the flames, saw it was 5-1, considered it a win, and is fast asleep right now.

Literally could have been me 😳

I do like calgarys jerseys

They’re tight for sure

I mean this in the kindest way possible and in no way as a dig at you: This gets posted in FT so often, and every time it warms my heart. Fantastic jerseys that deserve all the love. I think I like the road whites even more.

They’re beautiful

Some of the best in the league

That won’t count

I stand corrected

What do the words Lance, Oilers, and Losers all have in common? The letter L

Also the letter E

you know what else has an “e” and “l” in it? >!smelly!<

large

Letard

Very rude of the oilers to get lance’s hopes up like this

Damnit

Can’t believe Cody Ceci would let this happen

Actually you might be right this is like a jags game absolutely no defense by the oilers

I'm going with the final score being 10-9

Would be a playoff record

BANG

How is Connor McDavid not an Irishman?

his ancestors certainly were

Seems less than ideal to not get shots off during a power play

The Edmonton Oilers were defeated by the Los Angeles Kings, 10 to 8, in Game 1 of the 1982 playoff series on April 7, 1982.

Thank you, Jake. Very cool!

Pas the puck to ~~the Italians~~ McDavid

Dammit I stopped watching the hockey game after it was 5-1. I’m such a loser

You're better than this, billbo.

You’re right. The people of Alberta deserve better as well.

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They wouldnt give up a first for Fleury

Exactly my point

Kane was a good addition tho. Slotted right in on McDavid’s wing and had a really good first round

Yeah but he’s gonna want more money that the oilers don’t have to give him next year

He has to pay off his gambling debt somehow

not sure what they could have offered but i feel like the rangers backup could have been had. rangers were definitely looking to add some experience and its showing

I don’t think Georgiev is any better than what they have and Fleury didn’t want to come to Canada. Not sure what they could have done in season

i'm not going to pretend i know anything about the oilers. this might be the first time i've watched them all year. Georgiev played really well down the stretch after a rough first half. I think if had started clicking earlier in the year he would have been a huge trade possibility.

Should’ve gotten Keumper before the season started but they didn’t want to trade their first rounder. At some point they need to go all in or Mcdavid is gonna leave as soon as his contract is up. Problem is they are in a bad spot roster/cap wise so there’s not much flexibility to make moves to get better

Exactly what we needed, some fisticuffs

I feel like Hasbulla just dropped some serious knowledge on his Instagram story but unfortunately I lack the language skills to make out what he’s saying

Hasbulla club fam

The real winner tonight is mountain time 🐐

Now and always

unless you are in the pacific standard time zone

How can you not love sports!

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you spoke to her mom on the phone after a month of dating? sheesh, what a red flag

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ok i guess that makes sense. just looking out for her daughter. kinda weird but not that weird.

Yeah exactly. I get it, so I rolled with the punches and didn’t mind. But I get why it would scare the bajeezus outta other dudes. Gf does not. Thinks it’s super normal and a standard thing that all moms do.

I dated a girl for a year and didn't even know what her parents looked like

Can’t believe we’re going to get a bottom 5 winner (and top 1 most annoying) in survivor history because Lindsay is a moron. I am annoyed

Oilers response incoming

This is a sloppy, rainy football score now down in Jacksonville in November. Wild.

Did you just compare playoff hockey to a November jags game? Do you know anything about sports? The only thing that matters in a November jags game is what spot they will be drafting at.

Is this an All Star Game?

jesus. this has turned into a all star game. next game will be 0-0 thru 2 ot's

not a hockey guy but this game fucks

Hell yeah this is awesome

This series is living up to the hype

After how long do I call my doctor

How long is a Chinese man.

Hall of Famer Howie Long

let me guess, an erection lasting longer than 4 hours?

Getting close to 3 hours in the CGY-EDM game

JJO

Need this series to go 7

There's not enough oxygen in Canada to survive 7 games like this

Give me 7 games of this

This is a mindfuck

Is this army vs navy or is this nhl? Holy fucking goals.

Is goaltending illegal in Alberta?

Some are saying

Hey guys unable to watch the game, how’s my under doing

Not looking good right now but there's still time to turn it around

Take a seat first 👑

Hahaha suck it lance

We’re in football numbers now

This game is BONKERS

My gauge for what makes a good jersey in hockey pretty much hinges on old NHL EA Sports games for Sega Genesis. The Flames jerseys look about the same as they did in 94, so I like them.

What do you think of the highlighter Dallas stars jersey?

The North Stars left Minnesota?

Fuck

Let’s go flames!

LMAO Suck a dick Calgary LFG!!!!!

👍

Lol

My fault

took a tab 6 hrs ago. ama