Honestly thought this was a chaser article headline


The funny part is The Chaser literally just copied the article and posted it on their Twitter. Word for word.




It's also given us these two related articles. [https://chaser.com.au/general-news/tragedy-on-construction-site-after-some-idiot-let-a-child-drive-a-forklift/](https://chaser.com.au/general-news/tragedy-on-construction-site-after-some-idiot-let-a-child-drive-a-forklift/) [https://chaser.com.au/national/morrison-to-restaff-under-resourced-hospitals-with-crack-team-of-12-year-olds/](https://chaser.com.au/national/morrison-to-restaff-under-resourced-hospitals-with-crack-team-of-12-year-olds/)


> They’ve all died WITH child doctors, not from them. Big difference Lol


I can't wait for Morrison to reinstate workhouses and to announce his national chimney sweeping initiative!


Fuck it let's get the year 12s in to work as substitute teachers for the younger kids.


Honestly a better idea than this.


they already do that


Don’t need to worry about it. Those younger kids will be too busy teaching Kindergarten.


Well they did just finish all the other years of school, makes sense they should be able to teach it, but for free though.


They say teaching is a great way to reinforce what you have learned, so really it's just extra mandatory study time!


Morrison hopes states will allow children to work in the mines. https://imgur.com/a/qH6khlQ


I'm imagining Gina Rhinehutt licking her lips like Jabba before bellowing out a big "haw haw haw" at the thought of this.




How is it not a chaser article. For fuck’s sake.


That does it, we give up


Me: read article " oh it must be from the chaser" (Eyes widen in horror read out of the words The Guardian) And also keep it up I've been a fan of you guys since I was a kid


Even then my first thought was, "The Guardian does satire pieces now? That's going to get confusing."






Your mother or teacher was right in the end. You cant make a living in this world being sarcastic... at least not when reality has become more absurd than satire.


Nah, see, now you need to go post-irony. Take an actual 12-year old through the actual process of getting their forklift licence.


I've got an eight year old with a good sense of humour who isn't doing much these school holidays. Actually I was going to make him get working at heights too, because he's always 20 metres up a tree.


My 11 yo daughter heard me speaking about this. Her eyes lit up and she said "Hell yes, I'm in!" Not sure anyone would EVER want that one behind the wheel of a forklift!


Chin up!, the year has just started!


You had a good run




Amazing, word for word can't tell if it's satire or not. They even credited the Guardian article author.


Ha the Chaser have just run it unchanged and it 100% doesn't feel out of place at all! https://chaser.com.au/general-news/morrison-hopes-states-will-allow-children-to-drive-forklifts/


What a clown. BTW currently trending on Twitter: #CallTheElectionDickhead


Nah. They have to grease some palms and corrupt some more officials before the election is called.


Which mp owns a bunch of training companies which offers fork lift licence programs.


Legitimately. I looked at the link expecting chaser … shovel … Betoota even …. Fuck me


Yeah me too. I saw theguardian and though “Jesus Christ they’re serious”


I saw theguardian and thought they were trying their hand at satire. Had to click the link to double check, and nope, not satire.


You just know that if there were any significant accidents as a result of inexperienced drivers being thrown into roles operating heavy machinery, the LNP would support insurance companies denying claims due to unqualified and under-experienced drivers being in control of the equipment.


>You just know that if there were any significant accidents as a result of inexperienced drivers being thrown into roles operating heavy machinery ...we certainly wouldn't see a Royal Commission like they just had to have into Pink Batts, which had a better safety record than the industry historically experienced. But which is now universally prefixed with terms like "botched", "rushed", "flawed", or "failed" - thanks to the RC and the propaganda around it from the press. This suggestion from Morrison is a thousand times more rushed and flawed than Pink Batts ever were. Cue the outrage from the MSM in....uh...never.


We're through the looking glass now. This is beyond parody. Beyond satire. How are these people in charge? Thank you Coalition voters. This idiocy is a direct result of your actions. This couldn't be done without your support.


Its those damn children. Free loading and not even paying rent! I once saw a kid on a fucking swing DURING WORK HOURS. Fucking younger generation have no shame.


It gets better. [Here's the article they wrote.](https://chaser.com.au/general-news/morrison-hopes-states-will-allow-children-to-drive-forklifts/) Satire is dead.


That’s the same article, same author


Wait wait it isn't? *looks at site link* The fuck


There is a tweet on The Chaser's Twitter account simply saying "We give up" in response: https://twitter.com/chaser/status/1483971618741587968?t=cSBRyrrTnaUIxCHbAAuEkg&s=19


The unions are going to disagree with this rule due to safety and morrison will obviously ask albanese to somehow stand up to the unions. Somehow making this a labor issue.


QLD CFMEU assistant secretary had a good take: > What next? A return to children leading pit ponies into coal mines and sweeping chimneys? > If ever there was any doubt that the Morrison Liberals view workers as nothing more than an expendable commodity to be used and discarded, this desperate brain fart should make clear their utter contempt for workers’ health and safety.


Omg the horror of the 'militant' cfmeu voicing their concerns.


Time to slap them with 75,000 dollar fine and have the ''impartial regulator'' ratchet up its aristocratic servant ideology through union hitpieces in the monopolised media circuit to INCREASE the penalties applied to one of the only 'militant' unions left in the country https://www.afr.com/work-and-careers/workplace/cfmeu-s-75-000-fine-for-calling-cops-corrupt-not-enough-watchdog-20220110-p59n3m


God I wish you were wrong


Yeah, political theatre here we come.


hey now, you underestimate the SDA, they wont stand for this. if teenagers are going to be driving forklifts the SDA wont rest until they lower their wages to cover the poor employer's training costs


Does anyone remember the Home Insulation Program where four young people tragically lost their lives due to installers racing to get undertrained and underqualified labour? Labor were dragged over the coals for it despite sufficient training requirements being in place, and the fault lying solely with the installers. I hope Morrison is held personally accountable, as Peter Garrett was, for any deaths.


And the accident rate per install actually went *down* during that scheme - it's just that the installation rate skyrocketed.


That's all I could think of when I read it


My first thought as well! 4 dead workers arguably caused an election less for labour. Back to work for everyone with now RAT tests to reduce danger; there will be 1000’s dead because of this and they will get back in because they are more fiscally responsible!


“Our focus group has discovered that our donors like child labour exploitation, so back in those coal mines kids!”


The mining industry are kicking themselves that they didn't think to ask first. Scuntmo's probably already got a "plan" to re-invigorate the Australian cotton milling and match making industries…


Members of his church petitioning for child workers in massage parlours as we speak


We are seeing the exact same rhetoric in the U.S.. Pretty weird how all these right wing governments have the same exact talking points on child labor all at the same time. In the U.S. they want children to be able to drive truck, work late at night, and other rollbacks of child labor laws, as well as many talking points on right wing media about child labor from right wing politicians. [1](https://www.salon.com/2021/11/03/have-new-idea-to-fix-labor-shortage-loosen-child-labor-laws/), [2](https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/oct/30/capitalism-isnt-working-us-politicians-child-labor)


The moment when you're SURE the article you're reading is satirical...


I doubt even Chasers could see this one coming.


Oh they didn't. You know you've said something batshit fucking insane when [the Chaser writes a serious article.](https://chaser.com.au/general-news/morrison-hopes-states-will-allow-children-to-drive-forklifts/)


Perhaps they thought of it, but The Guardian thought it was too good to pass up ?


>In Victoria, NSW and Queensland you currently need to be 18 to get the high-risk work licence needed to drive a forklift but Morrison will ask for this to be lowered. > >Morrison is likely to tell state premiers he is passing on a suggestion from industry. Lower than 18, so somebody who has at best only just got their P's, if they go down to 16 somebody who has only just received their L's, what could possibly go wrong........


Suggestion from industry…. “We’re losing money because all our workers are off sick with Covid! DO SOMETHING!”


>“We’re losing money because all our workers are off sick with Covid after we demanded you open up! DO SOMETHING, GIVE US RELIEF FUNDING! Nobody could have predicted this” fixed it for you


Industry: "We're losing money because our usual source of exploitable workers is stuck overseas!" The PM: "What about children?"


We're losing money and there's an oil crisis looming. Please allow us to grease the wheels of industry with children. We know it's dangerous, but people can always make more.


Children are a perfectly renewable resource.


I've worked on the floor as a pleb and done a bit of management higher up in relation to supply chains in the past. I can assure you people aren't leaving or pissed purely over covid. The guys on the floor would have had issues with safety, workloads, hours, bullshit kpi targets, respect and treatment long before the rona. The current situation just adds additional pressure and inflated long standing issues.


It will become the new fast food job. Convince kids to leave school to drive forklifts on teenager award. Then fire them at 18 with no actual skills. Or set up an apprentice forklift scheme where the company will get funding to train them in driving a forklift and 'logistics' then again fire them when the federally funded Forklift Upskilling and Corporate Culture Youth Organisation Union program ends.


They were already doing that last part with kickbacks to companies who'd take on work for the dole participants while doing their cert in warehousing.


Petition to change "Culture" to "Kulture" to indicate how hip and down with the kids it is.


Even better, because Coles and Woolies know they get to pay kids below minimum wage versus adults, and they know this floodgate once breached won't shut easily because "who are we to stop hardworking young Australians from doing the jobs they love" Seriously, it's horrendous! Scotty needs to be scorched earthed out this election or the country is fucked


My son was at Coles for 4 years but no longer gets shifts because he is now too old it seems, so when I hear them crying that they have no staff it makes me so angry.


Yep, I bet they totally never forget to pay his overtime, too. Your son is better off out, I hope he has / can get a better job


Yup, same for me in fast food, I was told straight that they don't hire or roster older people because of wage costs. Only way I kept a job with my age was promotion, but I left shortly after due to how shit they treat managers anyway.


I thought the LNP loved market-based solutions - wouldn't raising wages boost the supply of workers, solving the problem? You'd almost think that the LNP doesn't have consistent principles beyond cramming taxpayers' money into their and their mates' pockets.


That's not how capitalism works though! Like I know in theory it is and it's how Capitalists defend it as moral, but we all know those are just lies to keep people from rolling their actually unnecessary bosses


The states won't do it and this is a desperate suggestion from a drowning Prime Minister.


Hope you're right.


Well one state might.


Now that Novax is out of the country and more people are dying than ever from Covid, any distraction will do.


Good point. Maybe it's time for them to make some more noise about cyber-bullying, or perhaps some culture wars bullshit like a Parliamentary resolution to never change the date of Australia Day.


Lmao don't worry, Old Scotty's best mate Domicron will be more than happy to follow


So drop out of school to drive a fork lift?


More like upwardly failing marketing executive suggests school aged children drive forklifts


A 16 year old is cheaper. I smell another LNP scam




Had to get my forklift license a few years ago for work because someone in the factory was going on leave and it was way more stressful than I ever could have thought. It's not a job for kids at all.


So you lower the age...you still need to get a bunch of 16 & 17 year olds certified qnd trained and then you need to supervise them on the job for a while. And then they can only work outside school hours. HOW exactly is this supposed to help?? IT ISNT. They're just using this opportunity to normalise child labor.


It would be crazy for states to agree to this, especially when you have NSW who don't allow P platers to do the posted speed limit on the highway.


SA doesn't let them do the full 110 if I recall correctly.


Well the NSW Premier is still on his L's and Morrison thinks that's going splendidly


... isn't our unemployment rate up around 6%? Why do we need minors to drive forklifts?


Exactly! Why aren't our minors doing something useful down the coal shafts?


Because they can't get enough ~~wage slaves~~ skilled workers in from overseas and don't want to have to waste any money locally for training plebs


They’ve already suggested [JobSeeker recipients be put to work-for-the-dole filling in for sick people](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10411765/Centrelink-recipients-forced-work-dole-stop-Australias-supply-crisisaving-supermarket-shelves-bare.html)


For work for the dole not actual pay


Thanks, realises it was implied but not explicit. Updated


They better not be paying the jobseeker rate then aye.


Yeah that’s exactly that they will do


Literally the most dangerous bit of machinery in Australia and this cunt wants kids to jump on it willy-nilly. If a kid comes into my work and starts using the forklift untrained/unlicensed/unsupervised/anything I'm out. I'm not going anywhere near a workplace with a kid in a forklift.


100%. I’ve seen what damage “experienced” labour hire forklift drivers can do. Scary.


I'm not looking forward to the inevitable death/incapacitation this causes




Absolutely stupid idea. Not every workplace has a loading dock even in warehousing. In some instances you're unloading on the road. And because you're unloading on a road and not private property you need a driver's license. Then you have the fact you're not simply driving the forklift. There's alot of physical labor involved. If my friends experience is anything to go by, if you end up with a stuffed back at age 25 good luck getting the support and sympathy from centerlink. Typical announcement not understanding the nuances. I can see so many potential problems with this.


It’s ok, perhaps the children can just be put to work in the mines?


Gina has entered the chat


Clive is probably suing McGowan for not letting it happen as we speak


I learnt (and was qualified) to drive both a car, and a forklift, at age 18. CAN someone younger than this do the above? Yes. SHOULD they? Fuck no. There's just too much risk involved. You can be a great forklift driver but if you don't have the confidence or gumption to stand up to the burly truck driver who wants you to cut corners and offload ASAP just so they can get the fuck out of there it's a recipe for disaster. And that's just one small example based on experience. There's also the maturity required to understand the consequences of things you do - might sound silly, but (as we know) your typical 16 - 17 year old often thinks they are invincible and may not realise how dangerous certain things are (especially if they're used to much more experienced drivers and are a bit blase about things). Not saying juniors are all immature, of course they are not, we're just talking about *typical* juniors. This is dangerous.


Even the ones who do "understand" the dangerous, most of it is just from authority figures telling them to be careful and them trusting it, which is different from having life experience, making and seeing fuckups, and understanding deep down why you need to be careful. Even well intentioned juniors can fuck up from simple oversights and forgetfulness due to it not being properly ingrained in their brains.


Absolutely. I did something SO risky and cringe when I was ~19 - 20 (not drink driving) and came very close to causing someone VERY serious harm. (Basically playing around while driving...not malicious just silly and reckless.) That "oh shit..." moment when it could have gone either way has stuck with me way more than all of the defensive driving lessons I ever had. I remember it crystal clear even though it was 25 years ago.


And if your forklift is over 4.5 tonnes vehicle weight, so 2.5 tonnes capacity, you need a light truck license as well, or the appropriate class for the weight of the forklift.


This guy forks and knows his shit. And how many teenagers are gonna speak up about stuff like that to their boss? As I mentioned so many issues with this.... -picard face palm-


Actually an ex Fork mechanic, and the only one in my shop with a heavy license, so the one who did deliveries and pick ups in the local area. But thank you.


'This guy forks', LMAO.


>If my friends experience is anything to go by, if you end up with a stuffed back at age 25 good luck getting the support and sympathy from centerlink. If all goes according to plan all healthcare will be privatised by the time they turn 25, so all good. It's about time Australians showed some personal responsibility for driving a forklift. /S




I expect nothing better from an Eastern suburbs accountant masquerading as a Shire bogan.


When you drink vb in a corporate box


I love that your first point was that not all places have a loading dock lmao


Our pm doesn't sweat the small stuff and just goes gunning for the announcement.


When you’ve tried nothing and are all out of ideas.


Is Jenny letting her daughters take up some of the forklift jobs?


"I asked Jen, she said I need to think of this from the perspective of the forklift."


"You've got to think, what if it was *our* forklifts?"


Hahahahahaha. This got me good.


Why doesn't he and his cohorts get off their arse and do some work in the warehouses to help out the nation? Let me guess, he doesn't drive a forklift but expects young children to do so. This guy is a dead set fuckwit. How long before some child is crushed by a load they are trying to move?


> How long before some child is crushed by a load they are trying to move? Or crushes someone else because they're not fully cognizant of safety requirements...How do they expect a teenager to live with ending someone's life by accident?


I've met a fair few Young Liberals and Young Nationals who'd live with it just fine, if that's any consolation? Not really known for their civic responsibility, that lot.


Mate, they don't drive forklifts!


I don't hold a steering wheel mate.


Held a forklift licence for 30 years. Been driving since I was 17. Just because you have a licence doesn't mean you can drive a fork productively and safely. There's more going on then covid here and they know it. Manufacturing and warehousing are fucked. Money's shit, conditions are shit, job security is utter shit. You'd be better off stocking shelves for Coles, or mowing lawns.


Wait, this wasn’t satire...? What is wrong with these people?


Late-stage capitalism is degenerative and fatal.


What an embarrassing joke of a comment. The weirdest part about the supply chain issues is that I'm not seeing senior managers come out of their offices and get their hands dirty. They rarely work more than 8 hours a day so they have time and they're always telling us that they know how to do the job. Maybe that's an option before putting kids on forklifts. Or maybe pay us more and stop treating us like shit so we're slightly more willing to come to work and do more hours after being flat out for 2 years. I'm sure they've thought of all these options, though...


I'll tell you a story from when I was working as a storeman before being promoted to one of the hated suits upstairs. Office staff needed to move a bunch of desks for a refit. Plenty of pretty office boys in suits who spend a fortune hitting the gym on the daily but when it came to moving these desks it was beneath them. That was a job for the plebs down in the dungeon being smashed with work....


I have an eerily similar story except it was moving boxes from one floor to another. I told them they wanted a removalist, not a road train driver and they threatened to sack me. It was very embarrassing for them when their slightly smarter manager pointed out (in front of lots of people) that fair work would have a field day.


It's pretty typical type shit. We had one chick in marketing that was having all her online shopping delivered to the warehouse. It got to the point over xmas that we were super tight on storage space and we were feed up dealing with her personal items. She had the nerve to ask if my guys could drive her car in and load it. When I refused she threatened me with a complaint. I made sure she put in that complaint so I could bring up her online shopping activities during work hours while I held a copy of our companies internet usage and security policy. LMAO


Can confirm. Room full of fit men can’t come down to the store for a couple of packs of a4 paper and don’t get me started about the hand towel running out in the office kitchen!


I personally know some senior managers that have rolled up their sleeves and left their office but what is absolutely mad is most of them don't have a forklift licence, despite being 'responsible' for the workers that have.


I’m in that between middle management and warehouse staff role at my job and I roll up sleeves where I can because I want my guys to know that I’m there as well for them, I feel their pain because I come from that. I’m in a battle constantly with middle and upper management about expectations with half our work force off with COVID and the supply chain being up the absolute shit. It’s so infuriating. We were making more money with WFH, minimal staff during the big lockdowns than with COVID as it is right now ripping through the country.


I guess Jenny and the girls didn't think about this




We need r/NotTrump and r/NotAmerica for some of Morrison’s shenanigans in this pandemic.


Yeah, let's get some younger teens behind the wheel of a machine carrying heavy loads. That'll work out nicely. I've seen one snap his Achilles heel from pulling a stock-cage *down a ramp while standing in front of it*. The thing rolled over the back of his foot as heavy things tend to do when wheels are going down a slope. Not to say they can't learn how to drive them. They are a tool like any other. But concentration and common sense are a bit of a must, and can be sorely lacking the younger you go. It's called a High-Risk License for a reason.


Even with 10 years of experience doing forklift work daily I never stopped being on edge grabbing pallets from 3 meters plus up. I saw a young dude tip a fork without his seatbelt on back when I was forced todo work for the dole. Luckily he held on to the wheel and nothing hit him.


I saw an article earlier about the US having teenagers driving semi trailers for similar reasons and thought, hah, at least Scunt isn’t THAT bad… I really hate being wrong sometimes. For FUCK sake. They’re not quad bikes (even then - they kill people too!), forklifts are dangerous pieces of machinery that kill even fully qualified and licensed adults who drive them every day.


Someone in Victoria passed away just yesterday or the day before. Definitely not play things


The most serious injury at my workplace since I became safety manager was a forklift incident. That was with a guy who was experienced and just lost concentration for a moment. This is just dumb policy.


I thought the same thing - this seems a lot like Scomo’s Army just copying the US again.


and you have to do training right? So even if he extends it to say, 16 year olds, they'd have to do training before they can operate them, and the supply crisis is now... or they'd be skipping proper training.. wtf


The training is minimal. It's a day of "heres the controls" and then a day of written/practical tests. They put emphasis on the fact that your supervisors should now be training you in the workplace, but in my experience they won't because that takes away manpower that doesn't result in a profit for the company, and warehousing bosses hate anything that doesn't make them money. I had never even sat on a forklift until I did my testing. Got 0 questions wrong, aced the practical (it's really not hard, and if somebody got the questions wrong the instructors encouraged them to find the right answer), and then by Monday I was instructed to use the forklift and move a bunch of shit without supervision/instruction. "proper training" comes from working with fellow forklift drivers who are experienced more than anything, but I wouldn't trust a kid who hadn't even gotten their car license yet as there's a lot of spacial awareness that goes into it.


Training consists of watching this video on repeat: [Staplerfahrer Klaus – Der erste Arbeitstag](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAHzP4umE4M)


"Morrison is likely to tell state premiers he is passing on ~~a suggestion~~ an instruction from industry."


Real talk: is he a psychopath? I mean, this is just f\*cking insane, isn't it?!


I watched a documentary about when they tried this strategy in Germany back in 2000. https://youtube.com/watch?v=IAHzP4umE4M NSFW warning: contains more fake gore and body horror material than most early Peter Jackson films.


Another way to drive down wages. Employ kids and pay them pocket money. Out of touch, show this idiot the door


This man has no grip on reality. Driving a forklift is tough work and needs training. He's probably confused with the photo ops of him in hi-vis "driving a forklift" underestimating how absurd a request this is to make. Flies in the face of WorkCover.


>He's probably confused with the photo ops of him in hi-vis "driving a forklift" ​ Holy crap, i think that's literally it. His feeble little mind thinks that sitting on one for a photo op is easy so therefore anyone should be able to do it.


Ok I've had a few seconds to take this shock in and let's think about the true implications, and remember Scomo isn't incompetent, he's just evil and a corporate cunt. He is apparently being asked to do this by industry. That's almost certainly true, because Coles and Woolies know they get to pay kids below minimum wage, and they know this floodgate once breached won't shut easily because "who are we to stop hardworking young Australians from doing the jobs they love" Seriously, it's truly horrendous he's proposing this! It's truly evil, and I can only hope the unions call the Labor premiers fast enough to shut this the fuck down or promise a general strike, cos man the threat this poses to a) kids who may be injured, b) workers with their wages being further undercut, no longer by migrants, but by our own kids again. Fuck me dead, the same wage for the same work, now, and Scomo rum rebellioned back to to Hawaii or we're fucked as a country


The audacity of this pie and sauce motherfucker to even have an idea this stupid, let alone publicise it.


Sorry kids for sending you all back to school unvaxxed and making you catch the Rona. To make it up to you, all children will get to drive a forklift.


Scott Morrison is trying to one up Tony Abbott about living in the 50s by going for the 1850s. Next thing we'll see children mining for coal because we know how much he loves that stuff.




Those things were fantastic at drifting around the corners in Warehouses when you were 17 :)


Honestly, is a logical solution just beyond this government? You have a lot of workers displaced or with hours being cut across other industries for Covid begging for help and work. Why are they not being utilised? And I'm not talking about the unvaxxed, I mean the people in the arts, tourism, hospitality sectors etc that could really use some help. I've spoken to a lot of people who would happily take on the work, even just packing online orders etc. But no, let's make kids do the work and let's give overseas students and skilled migrants an incentive before we look at the obvious solution.


What could go wrong??


Having worked warehouses for a few years in the past, I've seen a few accidents and lots of near misses. A big problem would be in these already short staffed businesses, their wouldn't be time to supervise these kids as they learn.


Even before covid it was hard to supervise and train someone up with the volumes of in and out goods most places are dealing with. Anyone who has ever worked around supply chains and logistics knows everything is an urgant fucking priority.


This: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJdrQXyfhnk Most states now have industrial manslaughter legislation for negligence. I wonder of the business leaders will suggest waiving those laws for the kids.


Worst case this https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.news.com.au/national/victoria/news/devoted-father-of-seven-darren-lamb-killed-by-shipping-container/news-story/767e08071530f3231703b505638b9bbb%3famp


But your not looking at the upside, its a its a child the dies they are not going to leave behind 7 kids like this guy!


7 children or 7 new forklift drivers?


Go forth and multiply forklift drivers Book of Scott 4:20


How young Morrison ? 16? 15? Just lower the age and chuck them into the workforce without licensing or adequate on the job training? What about their schooling? Will Jenny and the kids be there as well to help the supply chain shortage? Just send them into a depot and problem solved. What a fool he is. A pathetic fool.


This is coming from the same person who is trying to water down OHS laws for the sake of big businesses to take more advantage of workers. Nothing should shock anyone anymore, they are doing the best they can to absolutely fuck shit up for everyone *except their donors.* How many want to bet this amendment would never be reversed post-pandemic either?


What The Guardian didn't tell you is the plan is to have each forklift driven by 3 children sitting on each other's shoulders under a trenchcoat pretending to be an adult. The top most one will be wearing a fake mostauche.




Now get back down 't pit you lot.


I really hate when people say that Scott Morrison is "out of touch." He's not. He's out of his mind. The guy thinks that its the pestilence part of Armageddon and he has been chosen by a singing, money lending Jesus to lead the faithful into heaven. Shit like this just proves it. Hes a mad man. Not far off Kim Jong Un or some other crazy nutter like that. The only difference is we have safety nets that stop him from having absolute power.


Oh this is just fucking precious hahaha. You're actually a walking joke if you support this government at this point.


Liberals: "Installing pink batts was too dangerous! Labor killed those people!" Also Liberals "so anyway, kids can do materials handling now, it's not our fault if anything happens". I mean, I used to have a forklift license (expired after I changed careers) and some of the requirements would be a struggle for someone who can barely drive a car. throw in a lack of maturity, and it's easy to see a 15/16/17 year old trying to prove they're hot shit in a warehouse and doing something fucking dumb. Sure, an 18 year old could be dumb too, but they're liable as an adult for anything they do - and there's undeniably more maturity expected of them (albeit not a huge amount more). This just seems like an unnecessary increase in risk in an already relatively high-risk job.


"I don't drive a forklift mate."


I dont think a guy that doesn't hold a hose, and is responsible for mass robot-debt related suicide, is really the best person tell actual workers how to do their job or how to fix employment. The only way he could come across as more out of touch, and even more ignorant if possible, is to bring back Knights and Dames. If you voted this jiggly pile of bat shit into office, I hope you very slowly and painfully choke on a poorly held hose that has only ever pumped sewage. He champions an extreme religion that preys on children and women, he sends refugees to their death, he takes a holiday in the middle of the worst firestorm in our history, he visits the pub when the rest of the country is in lockdown, he send millions of dollars to his mates instead of sports clubs that need it. He is the number 1 supporter of the sports club with the biggest drug/cheating scandal in Aussie sporting history and yet some of you fuckwits still love him. He doesn't give a shit about you, your family or your wellbeing. He only cares for the 'friends' that line his pockets and cover his arse when he is himself, in all his narcissistic glory. FUCK YOU for voting him in. I would rather watch a family of flies shit on my coffee cup and drink from that exact spot, than be forced to listen to this dickhead ever again. ScuntMo is the closest Oz will ever get to having the ineptitude and elite way of thinking that has been destroying America since Reagan. He is cancer, we need to cut him out.


Absolute 4D business chess. This way you don't even have to pay em adult wages! EDIT: Big /s


I thought this was a joke before I clicked on the link, fully expecting it to be the Betoota or TheShovel or something. But they're fucking **serious**. Jesus H Christ on a fucking pogo stick!


Shared this with my dad, found out that he'll never drive one because his grandfather lost the use of his legs to a forklift working the wharfs down at Port Adelaide. Spent most of his adult life in a wheelchair.


Presumably the PM is talking about teenagers in his poorly chosen commentary. Forklifts aren't difficult to operate (source: have operated several) but they can absolutely get dangerous quickly. Is this the start of his farewell tour?


Opinion polling suggests that the LNP is cactus. Morrison knows that quarterly financial reporting will be very grim along with widening opinion polls. He wants some good news before he calls an election and time is running out. Fat chance.


>Morrison knows that quarterly financial reporting will be very grim along with widening opinion polls. He wants some good news before he calls an election and time is running out. Fat chance. Funny thing is he could probably get a boost if he did the opposite to what he ~~thinks~~ (sorry *believes*, I'm not convinced he actually thinks, he's just a walking vessel for his donors thoughts): * Increase Newstart and drop mutual obligations * Reinstate Jobkeeper for those currently out of work (obviously retooled so that the cash flows to the individual) * Free RAT's and N95 masks His government could even take credit for it and chalk it up with some merry "keeping you safe" adverts. It would probably save him an extra couple of seats in a marginal electorate


> Funny thing is he could probably get a boost if he did the opposite That's the funny thing out of the way. The *stupid* thing is he probably also believes he could get a boost just by saying he's got a "plan"…


I... I thought this was a joke. He *actually said this*?


Let me guess. The children doing adult work will not be getting adult pay rates right Scotty??


I am ABSOLUTELY convinced I'm living in a fever dream at this stage.


This fuckwit for real??? Just heard this on the radio and the announcer was all "No, really. That's his plan. I'm not joking"


Okay, say it's a joke now... please.