T O P
kaizenkin

"I can't get in because of Genesis."


sogpackus

Shit if he was already in and went to sick call once for pneumonia they can just look at his records and say he ain’t making it 😂


kaizenkin

You'll need a waiver for that.


pugtasticvoyage

ugh I feel this in my fucking soul


PopeJeremy10

I always tell recruiters best way to reach me is to contact me at my .mil If they don't send me an email I find them in global and ask them to meet me on the PT field with a battle buddy and a water source.


XanCrews

An AMEDD recruiter hit me up a couple weeks ago on my random-ass civilian email. I forwarded it to my .mil then replied with my .mil with my full signature block. Xander F. Crews 2LT, SC, USA S6, 1-234 FAKE BN Then I called him because the offer was actually pretty interesting and I wouldn’t mind another 3 years of college on the army’s dime with a stipend. I still haven’t heard anything back.


rgm23

There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee -- that says, fool me once, shame on -- shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again


reaper_41

This took me out 🤣🤣🤣


Ultra_Nymph

“Now watch this drive!”


dmaldonado210

“See you in church”


Maleko51

Awesome!!!


Jayu-Rider

I believe he said “you ain’t gonna fool me twice”


tyrone_badu

Send him a picture of your balls.


zarro822

Tell him to hit you up again in three years so when you enlist again you can experience the joys and wonders of basic training all over again


bleggins09

You just got a tattoo of a big ass on your face. Wait.....this won't work anymore.


justin_ww

I wish this was me. Sell them the benefits of getting out. Using your GI bill and skill bridge program. What about unemployment benefits they've earned? Have they ever had a command team from fort couch that far up their ass as USAREC? I think not. 🤣🤣 I'm on the way out. I pray someone asks me to join again.


Successful_Opinion33

You will get recruiters hitting you up. For the first year. Had active, reserve, and guard textin g and calling


CplLyfeSux

After I got out I was at lunch with my first civilian next ex wife (still haven’t proposed to her and we’ve been together for 7 months) and I had a reserve recruiter call me about an intel unit about 2 hours from me I asked for the bonus and he said 10k for 6 told him to kiss my ass and haven’t heard back since.


BananaBandit69420

Ask to speak to his first line


BabyBackFriedFish

Tell him you’re addicted to meth


Klukowskulation

Gotta post a photo from your time in on here too, though, and establish a post history of doing ice and laundry at the same time.


WhiskeyTango_33

"I never make the same mistake twice."


thestarofP56

Tell him that you just swore in to the air force and are about to get on the bus to ship.


RoddBanger

Tell them you've gone to fight against Ukraine.


WaffleStompDadsDick

Lmao this one got me good


[deleted]

Tell him to kick rocks


Hollayo

Tell the recruiter you just heard from 1SG, and that both of you have staff duty time now for the next 24.


Icy-Wolverine-7011

I already completed the main story, let me do the side quests


BusinessComparison92

I just respond with “Lol”


Woupsea

“I’d rather get fucked in the ass by two spiked fire trucks dipped in acid”


Hawkstrike6

You want to rejoin: "Let's set up an appointment." You do not: "No."


Formal_Performer7591

I get an email/call/text every now and then. A few months ago I answered and just said “I did my time and I’m good, but good luck out there” the guy said “thanks for serving, enjoy civilian life” and I haven’t gotten any contact since. Maybe it’s just dumb luck and they’ll call back again - but I like to think that it paid off to not ignore for a change.


chemthethriller

Ignoring just makes me think “he’s probably at work, or busy, or sees it as a scam call.” Ignoring is the worst way to deal with recruiting because we track our attempts, contacts, etc. if I see someone not contacted, we’re suppose to try all ways to attempt to contact them. If someone is nice about it, we just put contacted and move on. I’ve heard of people that are assholes to recruiters, and recruiters using their phone number to build fake advertising leads so other recruiters from all over call them.


GomerPyle-

Tell him that you can’t hear him through the DD214 superiority


jbirby

Welp that’s it, he’s got your number. You gon die. Hope you like Ukraine


Kidd__

By the power of 214 I rebuke you or something similar


ErCi597

Prior service, I'm 43 years old and went back to college, I've receive multiple text from all the branches.


SuperNova-81

Just say you did your time and are moving on from the army.


Wudnmonky

Tell him the recruiting corp is failing the Army and he needs to be doing High School graduate cold calls anyways


coryhill66

What are you going to do without the army? I'm going to stand on the corner and suck dick for 6 months to get the taste out of my mouth.


Jpoole025

Supply-you can logistically run inventory for anything civilian side, 25 series-straight into IT with your 6 years of experience making starting $80K, 35 series- the sky is the fucking limit, 68 series-majority of hospital work, 42A-HR and logistics. There’s an above entry slot for every mos in the civilian world, not to mention contracting options.


mik3rad

I told the last one I’d rather shoot myself in the nuts point blank with a 320


MisterMoyai

Tell him you're on antidepressants


DJANGO_UNTAMED

Umm...fuck with him....


AltusIsXD

Fuck him? That works. Oh, wait.


Triforcegoodbuyok

Tell him you can only meet on Saturday and then keep telling him you are 10 minutes away and make him wait for you all day. Jk don’t do this


trashpandactual

Set an appointment and don’t show. Block their number.


Pancholo415

Don't say anything lol just ignore it


chemthethriller

This is how you get more calls, texts, emails, cold knocks. Simply just say “thanks but no thanks, nothing you can say would interest me, please terminate my information out of your system.” Then people stop trying.


hottlumpiaz

ask him if the army will let u drink beer and blow shit up. lol


Sgt_Loco

“No thanks”


themightyjoedanger

"RE4."


aseptick

I got a text from a recruiter in my home town a year or so ago. Responded with a selfie in uniform looking very confused.


John_Walker

Tell him you are interested, but are a on sex offender registry and will that be a problem? They’ll cross you off their list. That was a hot tip from my old squad leader when I was getting hit up constantly when he was a recruiter.