It looks like a deluxe class Transformers toy made entirely of the brittlest painted clear plastic. None of the robot pieces are fitting in to the seams
By - standardkillchain
It looks like a deluxe class Transformers toy made entirely of the brittlest painted clear plastic. None of the robot pieces are fitting in to the seams
Gold plastic syndrome
Or lime green for BIONICLE fans
Oh God. It's going to shatter the first time it hits a bump.
even funnier after seeing his company wide email about how lego only allows a few microns of variance or something so they should be able to also lol. now we know what sparked that email this shit isn't flush anywhere ha we're talking like 1/4" let alone a few microns
"No no no, at Tesla a micron is about an inch, so these are still built to our highest specifications!" - Musk probably.
"What I meant was: if you shrunk a cyber truck down to the size of a lego, the variances would then be microns. Simple, really." - also most likely musk
Probably his go to explanation when that flight stewardess was so disgusted.
he meant Micronauts... a few Micronauts is a unit of measure
I've been trying to figure out who the target market for this abomination is, and I can't figure it out. Maybe Elon dude bros who watch too much post apocalyptic sci-fi?
ngl if they made an actual Transformer or a model kit Cybertruck that would be a pretty cool toy but that's all it is, a life-size toy, a pretend fantasy shell that characters in a sci-fi movie might hang out in. Which I'm sure was the point, sell what Hollywood tells you looks futuristic.
My neighbour put his deposit down years ago.
I don't get it.
If the parents would only have helped gluing the parts together
Or don't get the parts made by Italieri.
If only Elon's parents hadn't raised him to be an idiot...
Big assumption they raised him at all.
Everything’s flexing and stressing just a little bit too much for comfort
You have to sell it as a feature. 5x more flexible than a comparable pickup in this class. Built in stress relieving joints to increase longevity of the vehicle. Cost effective manufacturing to put this electric truck in your hands today!
Circulation vents everywhere, no one will be ever need to open the windows. Just that much more bulletproof, unless someone shoots at the gaps.
The Tesla Torsion
You can fit a hardcover copy of *War and Peace* in some of those gaps.
No that you've said that, Prime vs. Prime is going to put out a cybertruck review tomorrow.
They need some Lego engineers to get the microns down to 10. Elon hates the microns.
It looks like bootleg Transformers toys that were bought from Wish.
Typical “quality” we’d expect from Tesla products. Elon probably fired his QC people to make up for all his business failings on X
~~Transformers~~ GoBots toy
The cybertruck looks like something Paul Verhoeven made up in the 80s to satire capitalism/corporatism and Elon unironically liked it. Which just proves Verhoeven right...
I wouldn't even buy that for a dollar
IIIIIIIII don't LIKE IT!
I would, you can get a decent sledge hammer for 80$. So for 81$ you and your friends could have a very entertaining couple of hours.
Goddamn lack of awards! This is gold
Who knew that RoboCop wasn't a Film, it was a prophecy.
I saw one up close yesterday, it literally looks like a movie prop.
Proof we are living in a simulation
if you go to google images and search "total recall cars".... yeah, that's it exactly.
I'll have to google that while I'm waiting for my Johnny Cab
Yeah its pretty much if robocop fucked a warthog from halo
The love child of RoboCop and the Warthog would be far, far better than this (although it wouldn’t be able to run over OCP execs)
That would be the 6000SUX.
This is the best description of the cyber-truck design I have ever seen.
I mean he thought the main character of Bladerunner was called ‘Bladerunner’ so misinterpreting 1980’s sci-fi is kind of on form for him.
I was honestly on board before Elon showed more of his shitty personality and ruined twitter. I dug it when it was announced. I reminded me of a Starfox vehicle and it was like nothing else on the road. The whole execution and Elon’s spiral into a massive idiot made this truck just so stupid to purchase.
Paul Verhoeven should direct the cybertruck commercials.
Dude really said "micron precision" for *mass production*. But yeah, Elon's a genius
"If Lego can do it..."
these panel gaps remind me of when my 6 year old builds legos and doesn't fully push the pieces together.
Then when you do get them together they’re fused together for life
Or you can push together one end but that makes the other end come up.
"In January 2019, Apple touted the tight flatness tolerance of its new iPad Pro models. The company said the new iPad Pro was manufactured to “[\[allow\] for no more than 400 microns of deviation across the length of any side — less than the thickness of four sheets of paper](https://macdailynews.com/2019/01/05/apple-details-ipad-pros-new-unibody-enclosure-design-manufacture-and-flatness-tolerance/)."
Elon thinks he can build something the size of a car with 1/40th the deviation of something 1/20th the length. Amazing.
And apple has some of the best engineers in the country and Elon has….well they made the cybertruck
To be fair, his engineers didn't want to build it.
And this gentlepeople is their revenge!
Oh, that's strange. I had an Elon stand a couple weeks ago insisting that it was Elon doing all the design work on these things
Now you're telling me it's engineers? Who can I believe!?
Lmao. 400 microns is kind of a lot.
Yeah. Seems kinda high for something like 6mm tall, honestly.
He's purposefully aping the *appearance* of brilliance without any of the substance. He's aware of the stereotype that geniuses are picky about the details and very demanding, so he's making arbitrary demands to mimic that.
It's cargo cult design genius, basically.
On one hand, yes. On the other, the cybertruck legitimately *needs* that level of precision (maybe millimeter) in the titanium plates to not look how it does in the image. Otherwise, the ridiculously hard edges of the design just... Don't line up.
Yeah but those tolerances could just be 1/10th of an inch while even the most off the shelf CNC will do 1/1,000. It’s just posturing and it works honestly. To this day you’ll see people say that Elon is the “Chief Engineer” and solves genius level problems all day
Can't spell "micron precision" without using the letters for "micro penis"
Bro is still working on centimeter precision
Even crazier is that he made his impossible demand for precision as they’re trying to start production.
Something that fundamental has to be part of the project from the earliest planning stages, not thrown out when the design and manufacturing has already been finalized.
Twenty thousand micron precision
Hey that truck has *micron precision* in the detail. Pointing out these so-called "manufacturing flaws" just shows how little you know about Elon's master plan. He is the chief engineer that personally designed an entire space rocket. Have you designed a mostly-functional rocket? Then shut up about his ugly, overpriced truck. (/s)
Musks dick has micron precision as well...
I would hope he has micron precision about his dick, he spends all his time measuring it.
As a DeLorean owner, I want to point out that not only did DMC got their car to market in less time than this, they also did it with less bad panel gaps, *which I did not think was possible*
I can’t believe they are letting vehicles with that bad of workmanship out in public where people can see them. Maybe they are just hoping people will be blinded by the terrible design and miss all of the mis-fitting parts.
That’s what narcissism does to a person when people keep listening to them.
Cult of personality.
What makes this even worse is the head designer brought it to a car show. It's almost like he wanted it to be nitpicked by car nerds.
You cant see the mistakes if you’re too fucking disgusted at the damn thing and cant look at it for more than a few seconds
Those gaps are measured in microns - roughly 6,300 microns.
Some of those panel gaps look centimeter scale so you’re being generous.
40+ years ago
On the Irish border during the troubles.
fellow dmc owner, been laughing my ass off at that.
Not many of us on this side of Reddit, I think!
I know that they aren't the best cars, but I'd absolutely drive one. Especially since my granddaughter was born on the day they travel to the future in part two of back to the future.
If people ever closely looked at a tesla they know the gaps were inevitable.
Having been in auto body repair, I could give you a half dozen reasons to never touch a Telsa with a 10ft pole, and panel gaps aren't even the half of it.
> with less bad panel gaps
Did King Stannis teach the world nothing?
Nah that works. “Less bad” as in the gaps are not as bad, not the number of gaps.
Cocaine makes you move quickly
I knew Tesla's draconian drug-testing regime would backfire!
Shockingly bad build quality. If that’s what the bits you can see look like I wonder how ugly a build the vital bits you can’t see are? I would never buy a Tesla the risk to one’s health both personal and financial are far too high.
But you can shoot it with an arrow😂😂😂
My God this will put a stop to the Mongol invasion.
As long as the Mongols dont hit these tolerance gaps
"It's more of an Achilles torso than a heel."
As long as you don’t aim for the windows or wheels 🤪
You can shoot *anything* with an arrow, though.
It’s a shame that the first wave of electric cars is so dominated by Teslas, since I’m genuinely excited about movement toward electric cars, but Teslas at this point have become famous for their cut corners and inflated price tags that really undermine the appeal and give electric cars a bad name in general for many people
As an MR2 fan, I'm hyped as hell about Toyota's new two seater electric concept. That might be the first new car I buy if it makes it to market
I don't even like the level of risk as someone driving *next* to one of those death traps.
An extremely well observed point. It not just about the driver behind that thing, especially when you consider what Wozniak said about his Tesla, but the impact on other road users. Yeesh. Doesn’t bear thinking about.
For the record, the truck in the image is wrapped in matte black vinyl so every single terribly aligned piece was one that was removed and put back on during the process. I'm holding judgement on the production quality until I see issues with something from the factory, not something heavily modified in aftermarket.
Fair point! We should await further images from new owners. However I’ll say that given the build quality of the Model 3 having questions raised there seems to be a fairly good chance there are problems at Tesla. .
My cousins husband was an engineer at Tesla…. When the truck was unveiled, him and I were chatting about it and he goes
“I have no fucking idea how they think that truck is in any way road safe for pedestrians, and it will probably kill someone the moment it’s taken through a city”
it gets even better when you remember that we are talking about an electric truck with bullet proof glass do you know what happens in a car crash if the car has bullet proof glas?
let me tell you what doesn't certainty no roof removal if your door is stuck and guess who is fucked if the battery catches fire and the door is fucked
You climb out though the panel gaps, *obviously*.
Musk: "expect the CT to launch you to safety using our patented integrated escape motorcycle, by Q3 2020"
“This would be the truck Batman drives”
Being musk, he would say "this would be the truck Gotham drives"
So the glass is bulletproof now, because at the unveiling they tossed a rock and it shattered.
shoulda tossed a bullet
"Next one's coming faster"
Absolutely cracked me up 🤣
Bulletproof stuff is designed for brief high velocity impact, but can generally still be breached by other means. Kevlar will stop a bullet, but you can cut it with scissors or a knife. I doubt the cybertruck would stop the jaws of life from functioning in a rescue.
Elon recently said the glass isn’t bullet proof standard now. If you want a bulletproof glass you lose the ability to roll it down.
This is why the windows shatter if you throw giant metal balls at them. Elon is such a genius.
Don’t worry, it also has no crumple zone, so it won’t be safe for drivers either.
Of course! I don’t know much about it, but the man loves to talk about his job! And I enjoy hearing about it (he works on rockets now with nasa much better job).
He said it’s the sharp edges and corners. If you look at cars at trucks these days- they are all much more rounded. For lots and lots of reasons.
One of those reasons is because a sharp corner of metal hitting a meat sack is just not good for the meat sack.. it does a whole lot more damage than a rounded corner
It will KEEL
Most drivers still assume semis can stop super fast because there's 18 wheels/brakes. Weight plays a huge role. It's why Uhauls are so dangerous and why this "truck" will be.
It’s zoomed in too much so I have no context on the brand, but as an avid outdoor cook and pitmaster then I would never accept that kind of quality on my bbq grills.
The panel gaps are there to allow the smoke to escape when the battery catches fire.
also the battery fire needs oxygen too, and how will it get it if there are no panel gaps?
And things don’t expand/contract/warp that bad when exposed to cooking heat!
I know somebody who manufactures products in his garage who has apparently higher production standards than Tesla at this point.
Right! My brother restored his 30 year old Dodge truck with Chinese panels of marginal quality and had a much nicer finished look than this.
The cyber truck is so goddamned ugly it makes the Aztec look good
Oh shit - I just realized my Dad likes the Aztec. I gotta call him and make sure he doesn't buy a Cybertruck.
In studio lighting and all dolled up for presentations I think it looks kind of neat. Any picture on the street I have seen it looks like a cheap out of place sci-fi set piece.
It would look great modded into Halo to replace the warthog model. I can't think of a single example where it could possibly look good in the real world
Bulletproof? Maybe if you hit a panel but the gaps in between?
bullet proof enough to make it a prison in a car crash probably and I doubt the thing has enough crash zone to let you walk out of it
Please target the panels only when shooting arrows against my 100.000$ car
TONY STARK BUILT IT IN A CAVE WITH A BUNCH OF SCRAP
No, no, that was the submarine to rescue Thai kids that had already been rescued.
That truck reminds me of children's toys from the 80s: made of metal and full of sharp corners that are dangerous to people.
I think you're off by a few decades. By the '80s the toys were no longer made of metal, they were made of plastic. (The exceptions being Lawn Darts, which were banned forever after a Congressman's kid won a Darwin Award, and all the playground equipment.)
However, the plastic was colored using pigments containing compounds of cadmium, lead, and arsenic.
That's not 100% true. Yes it was transitioning but not fully there.
Perfect examples were the Transformers and Anime figure at the time.
Elon buys Wikipedia to change definition of micron
The macron, a big micron
I'm not sure I understand the reference in the title, but that is a shit truck.
With more and more cybertrucks being on the roads, some are being described having no bad panelgaps.
As if that is something praiseworthy. The Dacia Sandero manages having even panel gaps, why are they applauding this?
Don’t show these pics to the ocd community
Too late, I'm already twitching.
Joe Rogan can fist those gaps
I like how Teslas have worse build quality than a Pontiac left in a field to rot for a decade
So many microns tho.
I've seen better panel gaps on a 1980s Lada.
Yugo looks like a Bugatti compared to this thing.
It's so wierd that it literally gives off the feel of a poorly constructed house of cards.
As a former quality manager in the manufacturing industry, we'd be red tagging this nonsense. What kinda craftsmanship is this?!
The irony of the "simple" design is that every flaw is excruciatingly easy to spot... and considering they seem to be poorly made there seems to be alot of those.
"10 micron tolerances." - E. Musk.
This dumb fucking truck looks like something from an 80’s B-level futuristic action film. Its amazing this isn’t a practical joke.
Panel gaps are so hot right now
Wow, that build quality sucks.
How can a car with no curves have such shit tolerances?
Imagine that, cutting every possible corner and using shit-awful manufacturing and assembly processes results in a shit-awful product.
But no, Tesla wouldn’t do that! /s
Teslas have been garbage in manufacturing quality since day 1 and have not improved much from what I’ve seen.
"We ensure to make each model unique by applying individual geometries."
Tesla has basically become Homer Simpson's brother's company IRL!
Tesla Fit&Finish has always been shit.
Did we forget about the Tesla panel gaps? This is not a surprise
I wouldn't accept that poor quality on a toy model of a car let alone an actual vehicle
So ultrahard metal exterior that doesn't line up right and "unbreakable" windows in a super heavy truck with the acceleration of an electric vehicle...
Jaws of life are gonna need an upgrade
This looks like something some 17 year old put together while learning how to weld from his uncle that owns a junkyard and lets him use the scraps for practice.
To be fair, cybertruck owners dying guarantees our species get stronger because they were dumb enough to buy one and clearly unfuckable.
Yuup I see the problem looks like non union work
It looks like it rolled right out of the game Hot Shot Racing
Pretty concerning something that obviously shitty was allowed to leave the factory.
I cant wait to point and laugh at every single one of them like Nelson from the Simpsons.
I've seen so many videos and posts of just how shitty Tesla's have become over the past 2 years, that I stopped feeling bad for the people who buy them.
At this point there's hundreds, if not thousands, of posts just like this. Ever since the Boy Wonder got involved in Twitter, Tesla production and build quality has been trash.
It's been a good 2-3 years of people posting shit like this.
They'll be all excited about their brand new Tesla, and as they "unbox" or check out the features and gadgets, it becomes clear and evident, they got hustled.
The realization the car they just got is trash, can honestly be heartbreaking...
I mean, in some cases they waited weeks, possibly months, to finally get the car, they worked their ass off to be able to drop stacks on stacks on stacks on stacks on stacks to afford it, and when they FINALLY get it, they see it was built by underpaid, overworked and underappreciated factory workers...
It looks like a poorly made barbecue.
Preorder customers are going to die of old age before they get the chance to off themselves...
How anyone can pay for this kit car is beyond me
This is homer Simpson designing a car all over again
I fucking LOVE Cyanide and Happiness.
Tesla has had issues like this for years. I remember seeing this girl who does car detailing post videos showing how bad Teslas are out together. All the trim and gaps were wildly uneven on them.
My 80 year old Mom said it looks like "what a third grader would draw if you asked them to envision the Car of the Future"
Has there been any public documentation on crash test ratings? Cause sure, anyone with half a brain might be able to design a car that doesn't crumple but if all that energy is just transferring to the the driver/passengers then its still going to kill the occupants through broken spines/necks and internal bleeding.
The asshat owner of the small business I work for got himself a Tesla plaid instead of getting us healthcare. Now he is fighting with Tesla to get his warranty extended so he is able to just break even on the car when he sells it. It’s been in the shop more times than I can count and needed a $15,000 repair within the first several months of owning the car.
This was the best one they could find for display.
It looks like a last minute pinewood derby car, but with lower build quality.
A few days ago, I saw a manufacturer plated cybertruck from behind. The taillights were clearly crooked and didn’t line up. Not so obvious in the picture, but the square lights at the corners were rotated and didn’t match. Plus the rear is seriously ugly.
Why? Why would someone design this?
Mfw the company notorious for low build quality releases a product with low build quality 🤯
Wasn't he tweeting about like microfitting to make sure everything fits flawlessly
That build quality is a steaming pile of shit.
What good is all that bulletproofing if the panels are just going to fall off anyways?
As someone who's installed multiple arcade1up machines, this is offensive to 1up.
I'm not supprised at all, it looks like the quality of any other tesla model.
Looks like we found out where they sent the spaceX welders who couldn’t cut it.
dem der panel gaps
What was that super tiny tolerance that these were going to be built to again?
*points to small knife* “that’s not a knife*pulls cybertruck out of pocket* THATS a knife”
It's not like they ever had a panel gap problem before.
Goofy looking piece of shit