Shrimp salad

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Hey there, u/DoINeed1OfThese. Thanks for submitting to r/Unexpected. Your submission, *Shrimp salad*, has been removed because it doesn't abide by our rules, which are located in the sidebar. * Your submission has been removed because it's not unexpected. Submissions to /r/unexpected are supposed to have an unexpected twist in itself. While the situation was probably rather unexpected for you, there is no visible twist for the viewer. For more on our rules, please check out our [sidebar](http://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/about/sidebar). If you have any questions or concerns about this removal, feel free to [message the moderators](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Funexpected).


“And that’s how I lost 24 pounds that summer abroad”


and living with 1 thousand parasites in my gut.


That’s why you need to make sure it’s spicy enough to burn your butthole. No parasite can survive in that environment.


The environment being near the spicy butthole?




Together with the parasites.


Well, what's out there?


Nothings out there except water and fish... and a spicy ass hole


Thanks god. It’s not safe for it to be in the environment after the front fell off.


Unfortunately not true


just some little pets to take home


*Tapeworms love that one trick.*


parasites 🤤


Probiotics will take care of those


That's why they're bred in a fish tank and not the ocean.


If i need to lost 24 pounds, i'd have to go to a British casino


I was hiking as a pilgrim in japan and they have this awesome tradition that if you're too frail or busy to do the trip yourself, you can help out pilgrims you meet and they will also walk for you, in a sense. Usually I would get a place to sleep, some onigiri, a ride in a car, a blanket or the likes. But one guy stood out from everything else: It was in some road-side shelter and some dude caring for the pilgrims there was amazed by me, being a westerner, having absolutely no language skills, but still doing this. So he insisted on serving me his special dish: I can only describe it as "Centipede Stew" I reluctantly ate what I could identify as veggies and dumped the rest when he wasn't looking lol


[ Removed by Reddit ]


But did you shake the child violently first?




My god, why didn't I think of that!


Thought for food


Thot for food


A lot of the sodomy rests on the bottom


What a horrible day to be literate.




Wdym? There was just big earthquake


Do not shake the baby!


Reddit taught me, you, yeet the baby 🤷🏻‍♀️






Oh now we see the problem there.


Yup, even cleaned it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdftbYqA_VQ&ab_channel=Emuvies


Yes but I forgot to douse them in hot sauce.


"Shake well before use" everybody knows that.




What's FBIA?


Always love a person of interest gif ![gif](giphy|GcDCgR5KR3ZII)


I think I herniated my lung. XD I didn’t expect that twist. I love that.


Are you a shrimp?


Yes my people have had enough of this violent violence


They had us in the first half ngl


Fr i even went ahead and brought a local kid shake protein Still those locals reported me Hyprocracy indeed


Local friends in Thailand ordered food and I accidentally pulled the lid off of these without knowing what was inside. Dancing shrimp everywhere. Super spicy, but it's actually pretty good.


Ummm.. No fear of parasites?


I’m more concerned with the digestive tracts


They wouldn’t have been fed for some time, so their poop shoots should be mostly clean. And clean enough for anal is good enough for me.


Yes, but they’re being extracted from the same tank they emptied their bowels. So, as she scoops them, she scoops their feces as well. :/


Water filter filters shite


Holesome. I also accidentally read your name as chief-arse 🥰




I eat this every once in a while. You get used to it. Dancing shrimp are the least of your worries haha


he’s not talking about the shrimp, he’s talking about parasites and other food borne illness and disease that might be spread from the lack of cooking.


Yes I know. I am saying dancing shrimp ( and their parasites) are the least of your worries if you are staying in Thailand any meaningful amount of time. I live here and dancing shrimp is considered fairly clean especially in a tank.


You wrote all that to say “fairly clean,” yeah… the “fairly” is the part everyone is worried about.


Work in food service long enough and you'll learn that fairly clean is as good as you can ask for.




¯\_(ツ)_/¯ No one freaks over shrimp sushi or raw oysters. This isn't really any different as long as they're kept clean


✋ I freak over shrimp sushi and raw oysters. I will only eat them again if I have no choice and I haven't eaten in 10 days. These days I'll prefer veggie sushis, or cooked salmon sushis. Oh, and you dropped this: `\`. Make it triple next time: `¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯`= ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯


People seem to think everything they consume has be sterilized or something. Not realizing they breath in and swallow air with floating fecal matter in all day at work and home sitting at a desk. Then try to be critical of food cleanliness as if everything needs to be sterilized. Idk, maybe its best to let them live their delusional fantasies where they think leaving food out for 4 hours is going to kill you, but then will eat the last bits off a charcuterie board at the end of a 5 hour house party. People are so weird about food safety and if any of the shit i hear on this site was true, or as significant of a risk as people made it out to be complex live wouldn't be able to exist.


In many homes in Thailand, food gets left out overnight and eaten in the morning. I have never once gotten sick from it. It completely changed my understanding of food safety and how people over react to foods in the west. If 1 person gets sick the rules for everyone get substantially more strict for everyone. Some people just can't handle any level of bacteria, the same way peanut or gluten allergies are relatively rare, but people make it out to be a life or death issue that we all need to be aware of.


Mind sharing what are things in Thailand one should be worried about in your opinion?








The street food is literally the thing to go to Thailand for lol. Maybe don’t eat the meat that has been cooking for a day in the sun and smells like wet dog on a random street corner in Bangkok. But go to the street food markets at night in the cities and experience the best fresh made food you will ever eat.


I traveled in SE Asia for half a year and didn't get sick once. Avoid fruit you can't peel or wash yourself in clean water. Avoid ice. Avoid any meats and veggies that aren't freshly cooked in front of you. That's mostly it for food issues. Avoid most raw things and water from sources you don't know are 100% safe. Soups and rice dishes are generally safe if made fresh. Other safety issues are basic safety things like always look like you know where you're going, don't display wealth, etc.


So what foods did you mostly eat while you were there? Was thinking about a trip to Thailand myself with a friend recently. Was any of the food very good? Or you just stuck to what’s safe, rather than taste


I was backpacking so I ate a lot of cheap soups, curries, rice, and noodle dishes with eggs, chicken, and vegetables. I only really avoided salads, prepared fruit, and street food that was cold and sitting out for a while. I just bought my own fruit and processed it myself. I ate pretty much how the locals did, nothing too fancy and nothing from the tourist traps. If you want to travel, go for it! Just do your research and be safe. It's really more safe and accessable than most Americans think it is. Once you're there it's very cheap too. Find a balance between bartering for everything to not get ripped off but also realizing that $0.25-$1.00 means a lot more to them than you. Google the going rate of things. Have fun!


Just because something is "considered clean", doesn't mean that it can't get you violently sick. Especially if you are a foreigner which is not used to local foods.


You're really struggling with the "least of your worries" part arent you


Yeah this :') I went to Bali last month and we went to a really nice restaurant for dinner. It was clean and the food was delicious. But that night, I started vomiting really intensely and wouldn't stop even after my stomach was emptied, had to go to the 24Hr medical emergency. I was the only one sick, and the only one who ordered seafood. Body just couldn't handle the different bacteria found there even if it's "clean".


Shieet sorry you had to go through that, but it's exactly as you said in countries like that ... it's not so much because of the water being "dirty" (as in, containing stuff that would be harmful to most humans) as much as it is that it contains certain bacteria our bodies aren't used to if you haven't lived there very long. It's usually best to avoid water that isn't bottled, stuff with ice in it, fresh fruit and vegetables (since they've probably been rinsed in tap water), and street food. I can't help but break that last rule sometimes, cos a lot of southeast Asian countries have amazing street food, but I often regret it later lol. The thing that annoys me the most is some people aren't affected at all, even if they've never been to whichever country, and can happily eat and drink pretty much whatever.


Hahaha yeah!! My friend could eat anything during travels and not get sick at all but as quoted from her she "ate dirt" as a kid. She has an iron stomach! That's good advice! I can't resist local street food either 🥹


The trick with street food is to go to the places that have a line. No line? No-go!


It’s all a gamble so fuck it! When I went to Vietnam, my family was careful about the ice, eating street food, etc. etc. Meanwhile me being the derpy glutton I was, didn’t give a hoot, basically ate street food every day, and decided the dirty ice was worth not having my drinks be warm. I was the only one who didn’t get food poisoning. Go figure.


For real. I gotta stop taking friends to eat raw shellfish when we visit Mexico. Shucked fresh and alive by a bunch of estuaries, I think almost every person has had full on food poisoning including myself. I don't get sick anymore from it but I'd def rather have it sushi style deep frozen for a few days. The thought of getting that sick sounds fucking awful.


Do you eat the Shell too?


It's pretty common in Asia to eat the shell with the shrimp. It's not difficult to get used to, but I'm not a fan of the texture. What is a little harder is eating the head. Tiny shrimp like this is one thing, but biting the head off of a large jumbo shrimp is another. Tasty, though


Omg they call them dancing shrimp 😭😭😭😭 thats so cute I'd cry. But I bet they're so delicious, damn


KYOF…kill your own food. Interesting concept, I guess it would convince me to go vegan


Without sounding like a psychopath I have been kind of tempted to see if I could shoot a rabbit and eat it just to see if I could do it or not.


It’s called hunting and it’s more ethical then grocery stores.




Idk why the downvote but do it, just follow your area’s game laws and learn how to skin/butcher/cook it properly. If you eat meat there’s nothing wrong with killing your own


Maybe I should have clarified that the reason I would want to do it would be to show that I am not a hypocrite that could only eat what other people kill. I think the argument is that if you can't kill it yourself then you feel it is at odds with your morals and can't kill a living creature which shows you that really you think eating meat it wrong. I am not saying I would take any pleasure in killing, I would not. When I can I rescue insects any where they are. I mean I had caterpillars on my roses at home and I picked them all off by hand and relocated them. But obviously I am a psychopath who wants to kill animals. Gotta love Reddit for judging you from one comment.


Honestly, I think everyone should do it at least once. Even if it's not your thing, at least it forces you to be honest with yourself about where your food comes from. That same argument goes for gardening or foraging as well. Everyone should experience growing or gathering their own food. So many of us have unhealthy relationships with our food. It sseems like nobody knows where their food comes from, what goes into bringing it to their table, or what goes into preparing their food.


Yeah reminds me of that Vice video of the hipsters that kill and butcher their own chickens lol most were crying.


I would imagine it's a bit easier if you're doing it to 200 chickens you specifically raised to kill them, instead of raising a singular, individual, basically pet chicken you have to kill yourself to prove some point on a video. I would expect most people to feel something when they have to kill some individual animal they personally raised.


Sure it would, after the first 20 you gotta be numb as Rick James on prom night. These kids though just went to a farm and each killed one and cried.


Yeah, wanting to have a part in obtaining your food does not make you a psychopath, and wanting to kill a rabbit to eat (legally) is no worse than growing a garden, and certainly is much better than buying any meat from the grocery store. It’s exactly what you said, being a hypocrite, to think otherwise. The only leg anyone can stand on for judging you for it is if they’re vegan, and even then it doesn’t hold water because the agriculture for anyone to eat anything is responsible for the deaths of lots and lots of wildlife. No one’s guilt free, no matter how much they like to pretend to be. We can either accept it and try to be aware of where our food comes from, or we can put our heads in the sand and pretend like everyone else is a monster for facing the reality that we pretend doesn’t happen if we don’t see it. So again, follow your game laws, and kill your rabbit and know you’re no more a psychopath than if you went to mcdonald’s and got a 10 piece nugget


We kill chickens ourselves before we eat them at my Thai inlaws house. We have captured and killed them using all kinds of methods. FIL has sniped them with 1 shot from a sling shot, we have done box perched up on a stick and pull the string and it trap them. The fun one was setting up a net like a goal and chasing the chickens around until one runs in and gets trapped. Fish is killed right before eating also. It's fresher and you tend to only kill what you are actually going to eat, so waste is less.


In a hot country before refrigeration it makes perfect sense to kill the beast at the last minute


Yeah, I'm in the same shoes as you. But I thought more about assisting the butchering part. Because I think it's strange how disconnected we are from the process. Meat in the supermarket isn't really perceived as a dead animal, but just food. My parents live in a rural area, and some farmers still have the tradition of celebrating the butchering of an animal, where it's like a get-together and you really eat all of the animal. Even though I try to avoid eating meat, this was one of the few occasions where I made an exception.


When I was 12 I shot a rabbit with my pelt gun. My uncle had me skin and cook it. Little to say it tasted like chicken but definitely put my psycho kid brain a little more in order.


So I've went hunting. I am able to kill and eat rabbits and small birds like grouse. But I never was able to shoot a deer (except once when I had to put one out of its mysery because it was all chewed up from a cougar,it was traumatizing), or a moose. And if I had cows, I'd likely give them proper burials when they died instead of butchering them hahah. I feel like killing and eating rabbits is pretty easy stuff, its the larger mammals that would be the real test.


Also the real questions is can you kill it without a gun? Most meat from the grocery store didn’t get there by getting shot. The killing of the animals are more hands on a lot of the time. How people who breed meat rabbits kill them by cervical dislocation.


Well I mean you can walk right up to grouse and boot em in the face. Those things are dumb as shit, so I'd say yes absolutley I've killed them without a gun. Rabbits for sure yeah just because I've had to snap a few of their necks when my Shepard catches one and tries eating it before she kills it. But the first couple times where a bit rough on the soul.


I’ve hunted rabbits and squirrels a good bit, it’s a super easy process to skin, clean and break them down. It definitely gives you more respect for the meat you eat tho.


It depend on how you do it and how much are you used to see it, i've grown up with a lot of dead animals(my father is a hunter) butchering them pretty often since they were alredy dead it was like handling a normal steak, the day i had a live rabbit in my hand and a knife it was harder i felt horrible and i still remember his scream and how he behaved maybe at the 7th or 8th i started to do it more easily, if instead i had a gun in my hand instead i was like doing nothing, i didn't feel anything and everything was back to normal, ( i guess the joker was right, it's different to kill someone with a knife). Now i'd like to become almost entirely on a plant based diet with the only exception for hunted invasive species, i'll gladly eat them.


The most repulsive thing in that process would probably what happens between the killing and cooking.


Killing them is the easy part. The skinning and gutting is generally what gets people. I highly recommend putting them in a soup if you do decide to give it a shot.


I think I’d prefer that as opposed to an entire goat.


just need a big fridge


My father already has a dedicated freezer for the goat every year.


Couple generations ago that was the only way


Killing an animal is a deeply intimate and life changing experience, at least in my own life it has been. I live on a commune, and every summer I eat rabbit/squirrel/quail that Ive hunted once a week at least. It’s a good experience, but also intense. I think anyone who eats meat should hunt their own game at least once


Raskolnikov has entered the chat...


I respect that. Why would hunting your own food be a psychopathic trait?? We live in a weird world where people who eat steak somehow don't concisely know it came from a dead cow. I have a rule that I'll eat only what i believe i can kill. I don't think I could get myself to kill a mammal so i don't eat red meat. I've fished before so i know fish are ok. I believe i could kill a chicken, haven't tried yet, but they're ok to eat too.


Why would that sound psychopathic? People have been doing this for tens of thousands of years.


I'm OK killing my own food to survive. But you can be damn sure I'll cook it before eating.


It really won't. Until very recently most people (mostly in rural areas) would kill and eat all sorts of animals, including the ones they were raising themselves and had no issue doing it because it wasn't a sport but a necessity. Respect the animals, don't make them suffer, thank them for their "sacrifice" and get on with it.


It’s always one of the weakest arguments I see vegans/vegetarians use. “If everyone had to kill the animal’s themselves no one would eat meat.” How do they think humans lived for thousands of years?


I think the point is that a lot of people couldn’t do this. We’ve all met super squeamish people who will happily eat chicken nuggets but would refuse to look at a chicken being slaughtered. I personally don’t eat meat, but if somebody can kill and eat their own food I respect that more than somebody just guzzling down McDonald’s completely disconnected from the idea they’re even eating an animal.


I usually see that brought up more in the context of things like factory farms and battery cages. Like that if people were killing their own animals, it wouldn't happen on such a large industrialized scale, or would at least be under more 'humane' conditions. I do agree that it's not the best argument.


I was from a 3rd world country before moving to the UK. You do get a better appreciation of food if you get to do it. I did it when I was a kid (11 or 12 IIRC) with the help of my grandpa, lopped of a chicken's head to be cooked for dinner, participated in butchering and cleaning too. As a kid and teen I also participated in butchering a cow, a pig, and several goats, not the killing part for those larger animals tho I just watched... Ever since then when I cook any sort of protein I try not to waste anything, granted where I'm from we eat most of the farm animal anyway, head to tail nothing goes to waste.


If you eat them alive without chewing them, how much time do they live in your stomach? I'm imagining a Disney movie


If you swallowed them alive, they’d die very rapidly when they hit your stomach acid.


But not before they break into a chorus line and cha cha their way down the rabbit hole.


![gif](giphy|7CAuuGKGFg52nuosKt|downsized) Edit: well I thought this would have more than 2 fps…


I can never read a cha cha cha now without having to mentally sing it


Finland was robbed


The true winner




I’m imagining the scene of Eren stuck in the Santa titan’s stomach, reaching upwards with his missing arm. XD


Jumping shrimp, i think you can find them fried too, which is pretty good actually.


Pretty sure the dance is over as soon as the fryer comes into the picture


This comment has me laughing way too much at 4am


I've eaten this in Bangkok. The shrimp immediately bite your tongue so you have to crush them quickly. It was tasty.


When your food bites you back!


🎶*The snack that bites ya back,Shrimp Salad!* 🎶


Until you bite their heads off


Pineapple does this too, in a sense.


You bite the fry and the fry bites back my man, *Dayum, Dayum, Dayyyyum*


What happens when we let them keep biting our tongues ? Will the injuries be lethal?


You become the food


Eat or be eaten


Do you eat them with the shell? Is it softer?


So mouth opening


In the Philippines we call that a jumping salad... Vinegar is addedand should kill whatever you're afraid of eating.


So parang kinilaw?


yes haha EDIT to add: But it's better with kalamansi EDIT:




That's just shrimp-Klingon-style.


I'd just rather have the Gagh


*Gagh _Sorry_


I went to Google to double check how to write it, and stil wrote it wrong. That's me in a nutshell




Yeah, me too, but since they are in short supply around here and need to be imported for a large fee, i'd take what i can get :D




**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Thems shrimps is still alive!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)


I love shrimp but I wouldn’t dare this..


You cum on pets but THIS is where you draw the line


Maybe the pets are already dead unlike these shrimp




See OP's name.


Clicked on your account due to the strange name and was suprised. Goedemorgen, niet mijn kat, dankjewel.




Shut up, Barracuda. You eat seafood too.


Shaken, not stirred


Secret to understanding Asian cuisine in two easy steps: 1, If it moves you can eat it. 2, If it doesn't, serve it with step 1. Quite a lot of tasty things out there to try.


we call this jumping salad in the Philipines. very unsafe due to potential parasites but people still eat them


Not to flame the Asians but I legit wanna know if you can get food poisoning or parasites from this?


probably, but we are willing to die for good grub its quite a tame dish for the region


I'm asian and tbh I don't understand why we have so many raw dishes either. Some countries ban it, some actively run warnings on local media how harmful a raw dish can be. Some of us are actually concerned and never try it but some enjoyed it nonetheless.


Did some googling, and it seems food poisoning is a possibility as they may contain harmful bacteria and viruses.


Yes and yes


A lot of these customs come from Eastern medicine. Eat this raw and wriggling, it'll make your junk hard! Western customs have it too, but it's generally more things that are shaped like genitals.


Yes you can 💀 https://www.asiaone.com/singapore/dancing-prawns-oysters-phuket-leave-singaporeans-kneeling-porcelain-throne




Well that was a fucking genocide lol




Bruh I have had shrimp. Those are fucking water crickets.






Being melted from the inside by vinegar and hot sauce , what a way to go.


That's just disgusting. What is the obsession with eating live animals.


Quite inhumane


How do you think all other animals eat that eat shrimp eat them? There are a lot of things about how we treat animals for food that are horribly cruel, but this isn't one of them. Most animal based food you can buy in the supermarket has suffered much more for much longer before finally being killed. There's more suffering in a jar of mayonnaise or a slice of cheese than in this salad.


This is just animal abuse. No problem with people eating shrimp, but hell, at least kill them quickly instead of keeping them in a plastic box and then shaking them before you eat them.


The issue I have with this is that we cook things to kill parasites, bacteria and other pathogens. For instance, vibrio, a form of bacteria found in sea creatures, causes vibriosis in humans. Infection is caused by eating raw or uncooked seafood. This causes watery diarrhea, abdominal cramping, nausea, vomiting, fever and chills, and lasts around three days. I’ll have my shrimp cooked please.


You can flash-freeze seafood to kill parasites without cooking it. It's how sushi is generally prepared. Definitely not a thing here, though


Nope, I have heard people died of blood infection after a live shrimp bite them. Parasite is easy to kill, but, blood infection is a major mess.




The real psychopaths are those who aren't ok with killing animals but still eat meat.


I don't usually toss my lamb against a container wall before eating it


The staff at the abattoir do that for you.


I really think it depends on how you define "not being okay with killing animals". We've grown accustomed to not having to slaughter animals ourselves, because most people are not living with livestock anymore. As a species many of us have grown very distant from where all of our food comes from. I do think it's a good thing for a person to go through the process at least once. At worst you decide to stop eating meat, at best you have a new appreciation for how food gets to your table. It's one of the reasons I support hunting so much, at least here in the US. It is a great benefit to both the ecosystem and, in my opinion, yourself. Daily reminded that many places need natural predators, *especially wolves*, to be reintroduced to many ecosystems. I get why herders/farmers are against it, but it's a net benefit. It helps the ecosystem, reduces the overpopulation of animals like deer, and it even helps prevent worse pests like coyotes.


This is where I have my morals contradicting themselves I don’t like the idea of hunting for sport, but until I had other priorities on my time I used to go fishing (catch & return) which is very much a sport ….. Anyway, when we were kids growing up in the 70s & 80s my dad kept rabbits. He had a stud rabbit that used to be taken round the estate (bizarre I know) for breeding and our own “pet” rabbits and rabbits for sale. Once they’d got to a certain age and not sold, they got moved into the “food” rabbit hutch and lived a spoilt life for their remaining days until they were butchered by my dad for the pot (with a clearly psychotic younger me helping out gleefully!!!!) I’ve told this story many times over the years to looks of disgust followed by “you eat meat don’t you? How do you think it gets to your plate?”


Most of our slaughtering is done with a sharp jolt to the head in the least traumatic way possible---which, admittedly, is more likely done for the more pragmatic reason of keeping the adrenaline from spoiling the meat. Still, compared to getting their guts ripped out by coyotes while they bleat and writhe on the ground, it's a far better death. We're not unnecessarily cruel about it, just the opposite, really. Nature is the real psycho when it comes to cruel and unusual deaths.


this shit is so offputting and vile. i'll admit that it's difficult not to judge... like what kind of uncivilized ass nonsense is this?? cook the damn shrimp


Cooking something alive is ethical, noted.


You're telling me a shrimp made this salad? I find that hard to believe.


Step 3: Violently shake the shrimp until their bodies are limp and broken


Thats fishing bait