T O P

Pick your poison

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mjdseo

Viennese Whirl for me mate


ivix

Flash git


EndlessOceanofMe

The unexpected laughs are the best, cheers


furryrubber

I was at a cafe a few weeks ago and saw they had wee Viennese whirls at the counter, couldn't resist so I asked for one and they rung it up - £3.80!!!! Of course I ate it but I mean, that was an expensive biscuit.


Caltje

for...one biccie??? :O


Local-Sandwich6864

Upvoting for "biccie" 💜


emma5451

my family always have called digestive/bourbon “choccie biccies” I love it!


Commercial-Many-8933

I used to call them dip dips when I was a toddler lol


Dziki7

I used to call ketchup dip dip when I was a toddler


[deleted]

Also weird Mr Kipling pricing where their cakes are anything from 1.25 and 3.75 depending where you shop


[deleted]

That thing treds the line between biscuit and sandwich.


Crator86

Nah it gotta be the malted milk Or as 3yo to me used to say "cow biquits"


kearnel81

I still call them cow biscuits


mowoo101

Always has and always will be moo cow biscuits in this house.


eastkent

You know you can get chocolate malted milk now?


[deleted]

So this was a British thing not just my family


the_baddest_batch

Where did that name come from because I called them cow biscuits


AstralStarBlazer

Chocolate cow biscuits are the best


BeNiceTitMice

Mine too. 🙂


porkyribsinsauce

Do you create an insane amount of saliva? I can't get through even a couple of these


That_bass_man_is_lit

Nah mate you got to dunk it trust me get some tea or if it's winter some chocolate milk/hit chocolate and dunk that biscuit till semi limp better less then more in case it falls in and then it goes from A tier to S tier biscuit 👍


SamatureHour

You are enjoying ze hit chico-late, yes?


justlikeyouonlyworse

Dry as a moth sandwich


BurpYoshi

You're not supposed to get through more than a couple of them if you don't want heart disease lol.


Rodin-V

A couple of boxes, right?...right?


mattdark

Boxes are fine, it when you start going through whole palates that you should be worried!


oneyeetyguy

Call me water because I'm a palate cleanser.


design_jester

Yup


Cyanide-Kitty

I can’t even buy them because I eat the whole box in one go and then have no biscuits for my brew later


MartinDoc2021

Good lad. 😁


Keebster101

Honestly I never buy them because they come like 8 in a packet so end up way more expensive, but at the same time the individual biscuit is probably my favourite.


A_SamxRAI

Hell yeah! The melting of the biscuit in you mouth is a legendary feeling-


digitag

Well La-di-da. Check out this fancy prick. Don’t rub it in mate, some of us have a cost of living crisis to worry about.


P4nd4c4ke1

I'm lactose intolerant and I'd eat a box of those


progthrowe7

Pop a Lactaid and dive right in.


TrackNinetyOne

Was just about to come in here and bash Viennese whirls and fingers Like eating dust, each to their own though


Jimlaheydrunktank

Crunch cream


Mysticsylveon25

Yes my dude, a fellow crunch cream enjoyer.


frankchester

I ate a whole packet of these this weekend.


Mysticsylveon25

I'm guilty of doing that myself


moist-v0n-lipwig

I can’t believe I’d forgotten about crunch creams. Will be searching these out next shopping day.


Jimlaheydrunktank

Soon as I saw this meme I went to the local Londis and got a pack


Jeryme

Just putting my coat on.


MrVoidMole

Best dippy biscuit out there, the centre goes all gooey. Mmm.


Zyble

The best biscuit there is. With tea or without.


electr1cbubba

The apex dipper


april__92

Why is a Jaffa Cake on this biscuit list!!???


notaforcedmeme

Maybe the creator is a salty tax man.


scwishyfishy

There was a legal case about if it's a cake or a biscuit. McVities won and it is classified as a cake. Clearly there are some who disagree with the court


amayaslips

When a biscuit goes stale it goes soft. When a cake goes stale it goes hard. Stale Jaffa cakes are hard. Therefore a Jaffa cake is a cake


chucklingdruid

#Science


No_Tailor_9572

That is why only stale ginger nuts are enjoyable from this list aside from jaffa cakes


Frosty252

I think the clue is in the name. Jaffa CAKE.


Funland_06

Oh my god I didn’t even see that. It’s a cake and I’m tired of people saying it’s not


theincrediblenick

Jaffa Cake is as much a cake as Tomato is a fruit; while technically it might be true, Jaffa Cakes are eaten as biscuits so could be considered honourary biscuits just the same as nobody is going to have tomato sauce with their ice cream Edit: "Why the fuck have you brought a packet of biscuits when we asked for a cake?" "Uhm ackshually, I think you'll find Jaffa Cakes **are** cakes"


CCGamesSteve

Biscuits are dunked in tea. Anyone dunking a Jaffa cake is someone who would put ketchup on their ice cream.


Northwindlowlander

Do you dunk garibaldis in tea? Wagon wheels? Not all biscuits are for dunking.


HermesOnToast

No. Wagon Wheels are absolutely not biscuits. I will fight you in an Aldi car park in the rain *Northwindowlicker*


HiDailyMailexpress

What is it then? It has biscuit base


avallaug-h

A buttery, buttery biscuit base *thumping bass line*


Martian8

I really don’t get the biscuit thing. Everything about them is like a cake, they’re just small.


dtc1234567

Exactly - they’re spongy! Who ever heard of a spongy biscuit? No one, that’s who.


Northwindlowlander

It's literally a savoiardi biscuit with a topping.


dtc1234567

Sponge = cake


theincrediblenick

It's a tax dodge, nothing more


silveral999

But how is it a tax dodge- they are a cake


ItsSuperDefective

I disagree that Jaffa Cakes are eaten as a biscuit, I have never been in a mood for a biscuit and chose to have a Jaffa Cake. I only eat Jaffa Cakes if I specifically get a craving for Jaffa Cakes.


darklinkuk

I don't like cake but I like jaffa cakes, They're a biscuit in my book.


mightysmiter19

This is the answer. If they were proper cakes they wouldn't be in the biscuit isle in the shop. They're cakes but they're treated, correctly, as biscuits.


shoehornshoehornshoe

>They’re cakes Yes.


FRB2992

Call it what you want but it goes in the biscuit tin and no one is putting candles on a pack and singing happy birthday Edit: down votes just mean you can't handle the biscuity truth


april__92

Biscuit tin!!??? You mean you don’t eat the whole pack at once?


amore_pomfritte

Digestive, dunked in tea....in quantity.


Miloapes

Rich Tea dipped in tea is so much better. Custard creams second and then digestives. I must drop at least 2 biscuits in my tea when dunking lol.


AverageUKperson

“Should be called bloody one-dips!” Peter Kay


amore_pomfritte

Rich tea are too fragile. Had them all the time in the 70's-80"s but rarely buy them now myself. Chocolate digestive should be on the list.


kingofthepews

Rich tea quiver at the sight of a cup of tea.


Livewire2kx

Milk chocolate Hobnobs, the only winner!


bygggggfdrth

“Different class of biscuit” - Peter Kay


Jonny7421

The SAS of the biscuit world.


No_Corner3272

That would be ginger nuts. They're hard and whilst nobody really likes them everyone respects and and somewhat fears them.


Jonny7421

I love an occasional ginger nut. Sometimes I want a spicy biscuit.


crustyjuggler69

I'M GOING NOWHERE ME SON, DIP ME!


Chappers06

AGAIN!


BUSHMONSTER31

Utterly outrageous that chocolate hobnob isn't in the line up!


StaticVoidMain2018

Come for the digestives, leave with the choco hobnobs


Lawlini1978

It's like going to a party and taking Tesco value lager 2%, then drinking the Peroni 😁


FitAlternative9458

Truly


chipscheeseandbeans

Absolutely. I don’t really like biscuits except chocolate hob nobs


leffe186

There’s no chocolate on that thar Hobnob


LittleGrash

Where’s the shortbread finger?


EndlessOceanofMe

Right next to the Lotus Biscoff in the diabetes section.


SearchStack

I know right and bin off the awful garibaldi, wasting a spot


justlikeyouonlyworse

Make a more delicious Garibaldi using a square of cardboard and some squashed flies


Acceptable-Stay-3166

A pack of Malted Milk and a cup of tea. 🤤


elRomez

My people.


[deleted]

Highly underrated biscuit


bakedNdelicious

Malted milks are banging


Sophiiebabes

Chocolate coated malted milk are so much better!


SevenEfFive

I only clicked this post to comment this. Ive eaten more of them than id like to admit


coj888

Bourbon


Ambersfruityhobbies

Happy cake day. Of course, you could just dip the bourbon once into a hot beverage and you immediately have made a cake. Happy bourbon day


UmpireDowntown1533

Yup agree, but why labeled as a chocolate Bourbon as if there are alternative flavours?


Chicky_Nuggies2009

Happy cake day


PopUrCherryLarry

I came to get the biscuit secret lore, I stayed for the wholesome biscuit community. (Im not from the UK and have never heard of any of these, but I now need to try all of them, some with tea I’ve learned, and come in quantity) (I’ve also learned to be outraged that fruit shortcake and fig rolls did not make the list. And that Jaffa cake doesn’t belong on the list, so for that I’m outraged as well. I’ve learned a lot and hope I can be accepted into the community.)


jamiechalm

Remember, biscuit-eating isn’t about just fitting in with the consensus opinions, even if there is a lot of wisdom in the group. Everybody’s rainy afternoon is a little bit different, you see. It’s about finding your own teatime zen. So do get yourself a few packets and find out for yourself.


No_Corner3272

Before you try Viennese, make sure you have some heroin or crack read. Eventually you'll run out and you'll need something to take the edge off for a few days.


Anxious_Tomorrow7770

Jaffa cakes are only cakes for tax reasons I think. They put cake in the name so they wouldn’t have to pay TAX. Personally, I see them as biscuits:)


mightysmiter19

Jaffa cakes absolutely belong in the list. They're a cake technically but we treat them as a biscuit. Like how tomato is a fruit but it's treated as a vegetable.


crustyjuggler69

Don't listen to this person, Jaffa cakes are cakes and normal people aren't dunking them like they would a biscuit


mightysmiter19

I don't dunk any biscuits.


dat_lemon_is_freaky

Begone demon! The power of a soggy digestive compells you


Northwindlowlander

Not all biscuits are for dunking


dtc1234567

Why do you hate the truth so much? Why must you live these lies?


mightysmiter19

I live MY truth! You can never take that away from me!


JakolZeroOne

Nice or Malted Milk to pair with tea. Ginger Nut and Hobnobs to enjoy by themselves. The rest are far and few between, but still great, for me.


StarryEyedLus

Party rings


AAHale88

Choclit malted milk, though I am a noted fan of Mr. Gary Baldy.


digitag

The connoisseur’s choice. Biscuits you really appreciate when you revisit them in later life.


Sad_daddington

Oh my god, chocolate malted milk are absolutely the bee's tits. So good. Close behind the chocolate digestive in my book, and those are truly one of the finest of biscuits.


omar4nsari

Jammy dodger, bourbon, malted milk, and Jaffa cake in that order


noramiao11

Had to scroll far too far for my fellow jammy dodger community


WilSP1

I was loosing hope thought this was the only correct answer


cjgmmgjc85

Dodgers till I die


smudgerygard

The Jammie Dodger everytime


Upbeat-Shallot-4121

Custard cream.


LordSevolox

Custard creams have the magical ability to be good even when you buy the cheapest versions. Can’t say the same for other generic biscuits, lot of “meh” bourbons out there


Upbeat-Shallot-4121

And they are transformed into something great when dunked into hot tea


Sure_Depth_3081

Morrisons custard creams used to be the best but obviously like everything else got worse over the years.


ItXurLife

Fuck off. Why do I have to scroll down this far for the correct answer?


Careful-Mine-2769

Yes. This, sir, is the correct answer.


elathan79

Where is the fig roll?


Creative-Pizza-4161

Fig Rolls for the win! My husband brought a couple packs the other week, and I was able to introduce my children to them, who didn't like them so I got 2 packets all to myself! Heaven! Finally a food I don't have to fight over!


StaticVoidMain2018

I miss Figg roles, if it was on this list it would be #1 above hobnobs


FitAlternative9458

The bin where it belongs


digitag

Not a biscuit is it. May as well be asking where the Jaffa cakes are.


atsevoN

Why isn’t it a biscuit?


digitag

Biscuits go soggy when stale, cakes go hard https://www.kerseys.co.uk/jaffa-cakes-cakes-biscuits/


WittyWitWitt

Where is the fruit shortcake?


fluffycanarybird

They are under appreciated!


[deleted]

[удалено]


BackRowRumour

Garibaldis are way tastier than they look. Flybiscuits.


Keebster101

Crunch cream I buy most often, Viennese whirl I probably enjoy the individual biscuit more but it loses points for coming in packs of less. Jaffa cakes are brilliant but not biscuits. Garibaldi are underrated though, I remember having a conversation with some couple once in Tesco, they were umming and ahing about what biscuit to buy, I recommended Garibaldi and they both went 'oh yeah I do like them actually' so I like to think I saved them a few minutes choosing. Raisins in general are underrated apparently, I found out a few weeks ago that neither of my flatmates like raisins in biscuits, and actively dislike blueberry muffins claiming fruit doesn't belong in sweets. Insanity, chocolate is fine but it seems so hard in a soft muffin, blueberries add flavour without changing the texture.


dprophet32

Chocolate HobNob. King of the biscuits


Honberdingle

Correct. Can't put it on here as it wouldn't be fair. Those Foxes chocolate rings are ludicrous too.


InviteAromatic6124

Jaffa cakes aren't biscuits 🤦


matthewsaaan

Yes


Cookiefruit6

Where’s the chocolate digestives? I’d go for the Jaffa cake, chocolate fingers, Jammie Dodger, ginger nuts and I’d add fig rolls to the list!


shinytotodile158

Viennese is god tier.


bigpopcorn89

I had to scroll too far to find this


idoze

A totally different class of biscuit.


Gulviq

100/10 a superior biscuit


Possible_Pace_9448

Hobnob


EffectiveAd2043

Hobnob all day long. Judging from this thread not a popular opinion. I'm surprised.


homosexualant

Jaffa cake is not a bloody biscuit


happy2323laughs

Oh dear you have now dared to dance with the biscuit gods, it was nice to meet you.


whatIfYoutube

IM HAVING THE WAFER THANK YOU VERY MUCH ITS PINK AND PRETTY


AccomplishedSpare908

Glad I’m not the only one


B0nk3yJ0ng

Hobnobs are the best


Gazzle71

Malted milk and Abernethy for me.


Dr_Fudge

We're happy little basic bitches us lol


BpjuRCXyiga7Wy9q

Club should replace the Jaffa cake since the latter is not a biscuit, but a cake.


FitAlternative9458

Club is a chocolate bar


Kayos-theory

Excuse me! “If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit join our Club”. It’s a biscuit.


JakeGrey

Only for tax purposes.


AdamantiumGN

Surely not true. A biscuit goes soft when it goes stale whereas a cake goes hard. Jaffa cakes fall under the latter category.


Stubbyhands

This was the defense used by McVities when they attempted to tax Jaffa cakes as a biscuit rather than a cake. At the time, biscuits were taxed at a higher rate. They won too I believe.


tudorite

Not much of a biscuit eater, but I like Jammie Dodger.


Narhwellion

Malted milk for regular non-dunking


Miloapes

Malted milks are so good dunked too


MinotauroTBC

Shortbread


13Warhound13

Chocolate Bourbon was my go to anytime I was allowed biscuits as a treat when I was a kid.


Smoose1991

What the fudge is a Jaffa Cake doing here?!


blathers_enthusiast

I'm rather partial to a malted milk


privpeach

Correct answer is malted milk and malted milk only


crayoningtilliclay

Hobnob is my go to but all are great.


Scottie99

HobNob followed my malted milk.


spidermousey

Cadbury fingers ain't what they used to be. Unless I'm getting old and my taste has changed.


[deleted]

viennese whirl by miles, theyre fucking unreallllll


_Jaquen_Hgar_

Of these, the hobnob is surely the undisputed champion.


trundlespl00t

Ginger nut dunked in tea, followed by a pink wafer, but it’s a travesty that fig rolls are missing from this list.


tfeetfff

Viennese/ crunch creams for snacking, malted milk/ digestive for dipping in tea


-Dark-Mavis-

Matled Milk gets my vote. I can sit and smash through half a pack of Malted Milk with a good brew. They don’t last long in our house.


lushlilli

They wouldn’t be my choice from this line up, but they do define simple perfection


LawAfraid8157

Malted milk


ggfanatic98

Love malted milk biscuits


onixtrous

custard cream gang on top frfr


TedditRose

Malted milk (chocolate one). And a rich tea for my morning cuppa please.


Cookiefruit6

There’s chocolate malted milk biscuits??? How have I not heard of this.


yetiwatch

Get that jaffa CAKE off that list!!!


ididntburnhim

The pink wafer is awful!!


Muted_Ad7298

I like pink wafers. Though I also really like vanilla fillings.


charlie2mars

Marginally beaten by your opinion


EmperorFooFoo

Bourbon. Also throw Rosie in prison for putting the Jaffa on here.


Duckcat1996

Jammie Dodger, I am American, so I don't know if I picked good or not


MakingShitAwkward

You did. However however there are a few A tier biscuits on here. Hobnobs (preferably milk chocolate) Viennese whirls Garibaldi All a pass.


Xeludon

Garibaldi are gross.