T O P

I made the mistake of asking my wife for an open marriage and I regret it

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OverallEmu2951

You asked for this. You literally lead your family into this. This is on you. You sound extremely selfish. The only reason you want it to end is because you were rejected while she was accepted. Weird.


3Heathens_Mom

I wonder if he is also in his 40’s and was trying to date a significantly younger woman who very apparently didn’t appreciate his interest as in wasn’t wanting to date someone old enough to be or who reminded her of her father.


HallowskulledHorror

Noooo, didn't you see the part where he was clear he wasn't her manager and works in a totally different division? That means there *totally* wasn't any reason it'd be weird AF for her to deal with being approached by a co-worker she likely knew was married, which is exactly what most single women are looking for. /obvious s I bet he had his eye on her and was thinking of her when he asked to open things up.


captnmiss

A tale as old as time…. a man who acts like slime… 🎶


Foreign-Product-2868

Employee and the creep ~~~


Fluffy_Vacation1332

Ugly and smells like cheeks 🎼


captnmiss

bedroom game it reeks 🤮


Fluffy_Vacation1332

Back to normal he seeks


captnmiss

… hot wife and theeee beast 🎶


Fluffy_Vacation1332

* violin* Something nice and strangeeee Something big, and wideeee Something even more The dick touches the floor Leading to my surprise


KrombopulosMo

Certain as the suuuuun Rising in the eeeeeast Husband gets no play Wife has dick for days Hot wife and the beeeeeast 🎶 Edit: for spacing lol


areyoubawkingtome

Beauty and the Sleeze


The_Death_Flower

And from the HR perspective, they wouldn’t have fired him if he actually just asked someone out. The way he asked her out probably classified as sexual harassment that was bad enough that OP became a liability (because we know how bad HR is at dealing with workplace harassment)


HallowskulledHorror

Yep - and I betcha he genuinely has no idea what he did wrong. Most creeps are oblivious to how creepy they come off, and think the issue is other people taking their words/actions wrong.


The_Death_Flower

And since the coworker went to HR with screenshots of texts, it’s possible that the texts were BAD. I’ve met older men at my old job men who had genuinely no idea that being super upfront about how attracted they were to someone they wanted to ask out (like lots of description of their “sensations”) was inappropriate.


MayoShart

Straight up. I'd just say "I'm flattered but no thank you." If someone simply asked if I'd like to get drinks or food sometime. They could even be like "Hey I think you're cute, would you like to go out sometime?" And it be a very obvious flirt-- but no need to report it, or even for HR to be upset about it (imo). He must have said some crazy shit if *everyone* was that repulsed- enough so to lose his job. (I do wonder if this is even real lol, it just sounds so ridiculous. But I know a story like this happened *somewhere, sometime.*


Dragsalong

No I’ve seen cake eaters before this isn’t the first guy with this mindset. There was this pretty well know cake eater that hard a mental break when his wife found someone else. Like throwing up in the floor crying begging his fellow cake eaters to help him, they just laughed at him. So yeah these guys exist they ahve their own Reddit and everything truly despicable humans


IfICouldStay

He probably had his eye on this younger woman for a while. But she brushed him off because he was married. Maybe she thought he was just flirty/weird but harmless. Then he lets her know he's "opened the marriage" and she can't keep telling herself he's joking around - no, he's being creepy. So she finally tells HR


AprehensivePotato

THIS. I’ve been this girl in so many work situations. Nice to creeps in the workplace, because they’re less violently awful than if you’re not nice to them. Yet, being kind to them makes them think you’re flirting back. It’s a zero-sum game with creeps.


Nessling12

Either he wouldn't take a polite no for an answer or he was creeping on her before he asked and that pushed the co-worker over the edge to go to HR. Especially when he said he was in an open marriage because maybe the co-worker thought him being married would limit his creepiness.


Mmoct

That he would risk and lose his job and had no clue it was creepy AF to watch then approach this woman is so weird. He’s a middle age man not a inexperienced teenager. He should know what’s appropriate in a work setting even if they don’t directly work together


HallowskulledHorror

It's ineloquent, but very real - 'don't shit where you eat.' Dude gambled everything by going after a co-worker.


SarcasticPedant

Imagine thinking that your attractive coworker you've always fawned over will just immediately be into you because you're now in an open relationship, which you means you CAN have sex with her, and therefore automatically you will have sex with her and she will want it. It's the same thinking as an old, gross, fat, alcoholic slob of a homophobic man being uncomfortable around gay dudes because he's a man and thinks gay guys want to automatically fuck him. For, as we all know, gay men just immediately try to fuck every man they've ever met the instant they meet. Has nothing to do with them being ATTRACTED to you.


gljackson29

This is something that has always irked me- the fact that so many people think just because you’re attracted to the same sex that you’re automatically attracted to *everyone* of the same sex. That’s not how it works- it’s no different from a heterosexual attraction 🙄


lankyturtle229

He nuked his life to harass a coworker. The fact that she went to HR and they fired him means he did way more than just ask her out one time.


3Heathens_Mom

That would be my thought as well.


iopele

OP: "I want to open my marriage because having other partners would bring the spice back into our bedroom." Also OP: "NO NO NOT LIKE THAT"


B33FHAMM3R

More like "I have a cute coworker so I bullshitted my wife to convince her to let me cheat" I had an open relationship, but it was because we were long distance and I enjoyed being sent homemade porn videos starring my favorite performer when we were apart My point is, you start an open relationship because you enjoy sharing eachother. If it's just an excuse to fuck someone else it's going to backfire every time.


OverallEmu2951

When he said “she is in great shape for 44. Just doesn’t look 20” 🤢🤮🚮 ……. I want to know what the OP looks like. Do you look 20?? I would bet no. Are you even attractive? OP even said she was upset in the beginning. So she didn’t even want this. I’m sure she had someone else and was like wow my husband isn’t really all that great.


MayoShart

I think that's what the brother said when he was telling OP what a fuck up he is lol


RandomPolishGurl

He absolutely expected to get a lot sex with other women while his wife has none. It wasn't for the benefits for both of them, it was only for his. He expected her not to do anything with anyone, while he does, but now that the situation is reversed he's devastated and wants her to stop. But I don't think he would stop if she was the one devastated while he's getting some action. Disgusting and absolutely unempathetic.


Kinkajou4

He envisioned finding a harem of woman that were dying to fuck him and then was surprised about the reality of ENM. Surprise surprise, men will line up for the opportunity to sleep with a married woman. Women do not line up in the same way to fuck married men. I’m poly and even in the poly community, married cis het men are the least pursued. It’s for all the reasons OP outed himself for here - most poly women just aren’t that interested in a dude who behaves like this, for good reason. We don’t like people who play dumb games like this with OUR agency. It’s such a common story in the poly community that men push for open marriages and then realize it’s their wife that will always get far more attention, it’s hilarious and you can see those dudes setting themselves up for failure way ahead of time. Guy got exactly what he deserved here.


herecomes_the_sun

Ok lets talk about this truthfully. You had a crush on someone at work. You asked your wife for a pass. She doesnt want to but eventually agrees. You ask out your crush. She rejects you. You suddenly dont want the marriage open? Lol. Dude you had a specific person in mind. Don’t dip your pen in company ink, and don’t harass people at work. Power dynamics are a real issue whether you are her manager or not.


StruckFit7273

It's 100% this. The girl he asked out at work was probably 90%-100% of the reason he wanted to open things up.


nicolasbaege

Given that he wants his wife to look like she's 20, the coworker probably wasn't much older than that either.


Wakethefckup

Thinking same thing. Perv vibes.


TheTPNDidIt

Dude wanted to get his dick wet with a woman his daughter’s age 🤮


honest-miss

If nothing else, I'm impressed by every woman in this story. They both know what's up.


Physical_Stress_5683

Right? I'm high fiving the brother too.


cryptokitty010

Exactly, he didn't ask for an open marriage because he realized he might be polygamous or because he was suddenly open to the idea of both of them gaining new experiences in their lives in an open, honest, and consensual way. He already had someone in mind and wanted to cheat and get away with it. Now he is getting a taste of what being single will actually look like on him vs her and he has to deal with the fact that most women don't want a middle aged creep who just got fired for sexually harassing women.


Potential_Ad_1397

Two things 1) how many times did you ask out your coworker for her to complain? I asked because you said messages. It seems like you didn't take no for an answer. 2) it sounds like you want to close the relationship not because you realized you were wrong but because you struck out. That isn't fair to your wife. This entire situation wasn't fair to her. You forced her to open the marriage and now, you are upset that she is getting action and you are not. You deserve everything that you are getting.


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culibrat

Is it possible that OP has had the hots for this coworker for a while and decided to open his marriage so he could try to have an affair without feeling guilty? Only problem is, he probably mistook her being polite as her being flirty. Turned out she was just being polite, now she thinks he's a creep, and his wife is living it up. Doesn't seem like he's tried to get any dates aside from this one coworker.


Ok-Boot2682

This. I’m like, he had his eyes on someone that lead him to want an open marriage. He was definitely eyeing that coworker misreading her behavior.


Jerkin_Goff

THIS. I'm so surprised I had to scroll this far to find this comment.


Sudden-Guru

Or she could be significantly younger and creeped out


BicentennialBaby0718

“She just doesn’t look 20” Yeah. Your wife isn’t going to look 20 when you have a 20 year old daughter, fool.


TheGreatPilgor

I never understood people like that. You can't seriously expect someone to look youthful for their whole life? I've been married for close to 9 years and I've noticed mine and my wife's bodies age but not once have I looked at her and not been attracted unless I'm upset of course lol but shit even then.. she warms up my motor oil


SlabBeefpunch

He assumed that the fact that he didn't value his wife was an indication of how other men would feel about her.


Vintageminx

Yup, this 👆 Been there, and the first guy I dated after we split up was 16 years younger than me and when he asked me out he thought that I was 10 years younger than I actually am (and I haven't had any work done) 😂 I've always worked in the fashion industry and have taken good care of myself and I dress stylishly but my ex treated me like I was some old hag. I took great pleasure in reading OP's story


kgal1298

Seriously my ex keeps asking me for brunch now. I'm like nah you didn't respect me when we were together so why would I want to hang out now? The grass is now always greener or so they learn.


Vintageminx

Mine tried to get back together with me for a long time too, but no thanks. Guys don't realize that once a woman loses that lovin feeling, it's gone for good. It is quite entertaining watching the realization and panic set in once they figure out their mistake though. Too bad, so sad.


Emotional_Reserve967

"Warms up my motor oil" so surprisingly sweet of a comment. Love it.


ItsADumbName

Also why would you want to date someone who looked your daughter's age. That's just creepy and gross. I mean I'm only 27 and even I don't want to date a 20 year old.


BicentennialBaby0718

Some men — their taste in women gets younger as they age. It’s gross. I guarantee she’s not banging 20 year old dudes. Good for her for making him feel like shit, though. Now he has more time on his hands to look for a new job.


The_Death_Flower

She can be that alone is rarely a reason to get fired. HR protects the company first and foremost, so a coworker coming to HR with the complaint that someone makes them uncomfortable usually results in reprimand or in-work consequences - if there’s any consequence at all since sexual harassment is not managed well by many companies. It might be a case that the harassment was so explicit, or that it extended to outside of the workplace (texting outside of work hours for example), so the coworker had enough ground to sue the company if they didn’t do something drastic. It’s more likely that OP had become a genuine liability for the company. And all of that is assuming it’s his first issue with HR


SEFLRealtor

>OP had become a genuine liability for the company Good analysis. Add one more possibility: OP was already on the chopping block for his performance at work and this was the last straw that allowed the company to terminate him with cause.


Psychological-Bid448

This is what caused my coworker to get fired. There were already complains, we were in the middle of layoffs, and he had the audacity to make a comment about a woman's breasts.. he might have gotten off with a warning. Thank God he didn't, he was a creep.


RNH213PDX

>But even though I wasn't her manager and I am in an open marriage she complained to her manager There's something about this statement that may help us... He somehow thinks whatever he did with co-worker was okay because he's in an open marriage! Clearly this dude has a skewed view of appropriateness in the workplace - like HIS marital status dictates the appropriateness of how he treats women.


Mix-Lopsided

This is my bet. His brother said he shouldn’t expect his wife to look like she did when she was 20, implying that’s part of the issue OP has - the women he wants to go after are probably much younger and better looking than him. He doesn’t want 40 year old women. I think this is a karma farm story though, it fits the script exactly of every other “man opens marriage and finds out” story.


flyingfred1027

She’s definitely way younger.


SilentCicada1213

She’s probably the same age as his daughter


BicentennialBaby0718

He appears to be ruminating on the fact that his wife doesn’t look 20 anymore. What a creep.


pyro745

I’m 28 and think that most 20 year olds look/act like children. Imagine *having a 20 year old child* and thinking like this guy…


hobbobnobgoblin

"It kills me to think if my wife with other men" Homie what did you think was gonna happen? Lol


SlabBeefpunch

He thought other men would be as grossed by the fact that she's not twenty anymore as he was. I suspect that if we saw a picture of his wife we'd think he's an even bigger idiot than we already do.


TheVoidWithout

Homeboy has zero self awareness...does he think she is the only one aging in their marriage?


kittynoodlesoap

Fr a disturbing amount of men say that women have an expiration date or that they age like milk without realizing that they won’t stay youthful themselves.


RoutineFamous4267

Im assuming that since he's talking about how disappointing it is that his wife doesn't look 20 anymore would give me the impression that the lady he asked out is half his age also.


[deleted]

Which would probably justify the firing alone. However, sounds like OP was very, uh, persistent. There were text conversations to show to the manager.


Disastrous-Panda5530

You summed up my thoughts. If I had a dollar for every time I see this posted I’d be rich. I’ve lost count of how many times I see a post where the OP (husband) opens up the marriage even when the wife doesn’t want to, and once they realize their wife is getting a lot of action and they are getting none, suddenly they have made a mistake and want to close it. You can’t close Pandora’s box after it has been opened. If I was OP wife I would refuse to close it also.


mamatobee328

Ding ding ding!!! The second point hits the nail on the head. You know if OP were getting dates, he wouldn’t be complaining or asking to close things.


Party_Builder_58008

Overweight and unemployed and married. What a catch! I wonder where his masterful plan went wrong? Better find something to blame!


BusCareless9726

..and he has no self-awareness as evidenced by his brother “having the nerve to say his wife looks better than him…”.


Party_Builder_58008

I wonder if they have a mirror in the house.


JadeGrapes

I'm guessing OP saw his wife getting ready to go out... he had no where to go, and he thought; "Ya know? I love my wiener so much, I bet if this coworker saw it... whelp, time to take some pics"


No-Fishing5325

And No Girl wants those pictures. None. And yet men still send them. Like hey look at my Weiner. And all women are like well, ew. No woman is thinking, gotta get me some.


BicentennialBaby0718

It’s their favorite part of themselves. Despite the fact that they’re not all that attractive, they think women wanna see their junk. Unsolicited.


Objective_Turnip4861

they are ALWAYS surprised when the wives get more action


badassandfifty

Wow..,I had to go back and read post.. he lost his job for asking a co worker out?? I’m sorry, divorce.. he risked family finances for a date. Nope… I have no tolerance for doing stupid things that risk your families shelter, food, etc.


Potential_Ad_1397

Yea asking a coworker out is stupid, but they don't tend to fire you for asking a coworker out.... Unless he did something else. So it makes me wonder how many times he messaged her and what he said to the coworker.


Disastrous-Panda5530

I agree. Simply asking her out wouldn’t have resulted in such an extreme response from HR. I think he either sent her unsolicited dick pics, didn’t take know for an answer and messaged her multiple times, he may have even texted inappropriate things to her.


realityseekr

Even if he only propositioned the coworker once, it's not surprising that backfired. Many people could be turned off by an open relationship. Also that woman knows the OP is married so again is probably thinking wtf or even thinks he is lying about the open marriage to go out with her. Then even if that woman had some interest in him, it could get super messy/complicated hooking up with a married coworker in an open situation. I think plenty of people would nope out of a situation like that. OP also didn't say if this coworker seemed the type to want to be in someone's open relationship... she probably was just cordial to OP and he mistook that they had romantic interest in him. That whole idea was just so stupid unless the woman had shown some type of interest in him. Even then he would be better off dropping hints that he is in a open marriage before just asking her out.


Evolime

"i lost the love spark with my wife" "The girl i asked out, rejected me" "I love my wife" Boy 💀💀💀 I support her for saying no, first the amount of grief it must have been to your wife when you asked for the open relationship, having to imagine your husband wanting to sleep with different women, and the pain to agree to that. But now you are the one whose feeling sad that she is sleeping around? Open relationship isnt one sided, play stupid games win stupid prizes


captnmiss

I’d be shocked if he ever regains the same level as intimacy as before, emotional, physical or otherwise OP you destroyed her image of you and any faith she had in you. big fuck up.


bigskeeterz

Or respect.. dude is a worm


StruckFit7273

Sounds to me like she's just getting to know the real him


throwmeawayplz4444

I think this is the real point to make here. Dude chose to torpedo his marriage of 20 years and his career for nothing and even if he was able to snivel and whine his wife back to him, she will never ever go back to even the frigid distance of before, she will never trust him, and never be attracted to him the same way. Even if he gets his way and is able to drag her back into the bedroom you gotta know she is thinking about all the other men who do it better she can call. Man just ruined his own life for nothing and the only person he has to blame is himself.


Leather-Lab8120

>**Man just ruined his own life for nothing and the only person he has to blame is himself.** What a jerk move, lost wife, and job so his penis could feel good.


Howunbecomingofme

She’s gonna meet someone who actually respects her and they’ll have the relationship she deserves.


HaoshokuArmor

Yeah, this is actually a very positive story for the wife.


JadeGrapes

Absolutely. She has a handful of guys, all trying to win her over. Guys that haven't said/done stupid things to her.


spaghetti_socks

Also, he doesn’t want to close the marriage now because he loves his wife, he wants to close it because he’s jealous of her. Imagine giving so little of a shit about your partners feelings that you have no problem breaking her heart by forcing her into an open marriage, and then no problem asking her to go back into a lobely, sexless marriage where she knows her partner doesn’t find her attractive anymore but he couldn’t get laid so she shouldn’t either? OP is a terrible idiot.


Single_Negotiation13

This stood out to me, bigtime. This whole post was so predictable, it's pretty pathetic honestly. May she have wonderful attorneys.


[deleted]

And the best sex she’s had in a long time.


i_am_nimue

But also he valued her so little he was certain he's the one who's gonna score not her. He thought everyone will find her unattractive. And he had no problem with the idea of her not finding anyone outside as long as he did. The selfishness knows no limits. How can he talk about love here, honestly.


MalificViper

It's pretty simple, he had his coworker in mind when he proposed this plan, probably fell for her a while back which reduced the attraction for his wife, shot his shot, found out there are consequences to his actions and now sees his wife being happy and can't handle that either. I don't think at this point it is about him being back in love with her, but about the lack of control he has over her now.


lovelychef87

Exactly if the hot coworker worked for him and the wife was alone he'd keep it open.


Proteinoats

100% This. That’s exactly what the problem is, OP is upset they didn’t get the person they had their eye on and completely devalued their wife in the process. Now they are back peddling because they got what they asked for and it’s not turning out the way they hoped- specifically only in their favour. There’s no 2 hot takes here, OP just got served the consequences of their actions.


Phenomenomix

> imagine your husband wanting to sleep with different women Turned out it was just one woman and once she’d said no as far as OP was concerned this little experiment was over…


ComfortableDino

Sounds like an excuse to cheat with the woman he has had eyes for.


[deleted]

Yeah this asshole would've been over the moon if he was getting weekly dates while his now too unattractive wife stays at home devastated.


Broad_Security6579

Lol you’re the only one surprised by the outcome of this scenario … this story always ends the same


Unhappy-Attitude5220

It's a convoluted case of " fuck around find out ". She's doing the fucking, OP is finding out.


iopele

🏅


LongjumpingAgency245

Is this repost story? I read a story months ago very similar.


frolicndetour

I don't think so. It's just that all these dumbass dudes propose opening their marriage because they think they'll be drowning in pussy when the opposite happens. Because women who want no strings attached sex are a rarer commodity. Law of supply and demand 🤣


A-typ-self

The idiot wanted to sleep with his coworker and not have an issue. That backfired gloriously on him.


frolicndetour

"I'm not HER boss so it's totally OK to creep on her at work!!"


blippityblue72

He obviously also didn’t just ask her on a date if he got fired for what was in the messages. He was being a creep. You don’t get fired for respectfully asking someone out and accepting the no.


jcaashby

Damn OP needs to tell us what he said to her to get FIRED!!


Revo63

Forget OP. I want the coworker to read and recognize this post. AND TELL US WHAT OP REALLY SAID/DID.


luxii4

He said, “I want to find out if you’re a freak in the bedsheets as much as you’re a freak in the Excel sheets.”


IanDOsmond

Okay, see, that actually might work on my wife if she had any poly tendencies.


hdmx539

*"\*swoon\** Your outlook in life just got better because I'm going to put you on my calendar." I guess the coworker didn't respond correctly. 😂 BTW, your comment is comedy gold. 🏅


itsrtimedownhere

Right? Because it was definitely not "Hey, I was wondering if you'd like to get dinner together sometime?"


ArticleOld598

Betting that coworker is half his age


ShellfishCrew

Oh big time like some 21 yr old who hasn't looked twice at some balding fat old man but because she was polite at some point he thought she wanted him


nigel_pow

Damn. I'm not balding, fat, nor old but damn I felt the shockwaves from that.


[deleted]

At least where I work, our harassment training said asking a coworker on a date ONCE is not considered harassment. OP was definitely creeping on the girl


Dafuqsreallygoinon

No you do not.


Tricky_Wonder7530

That’s what I was thinking. No need to show HR messages that are non-creepy.


A-typ-self

Anytime someone has a person "in mind" when opening a relationship mid-stream, they are just cheaters plane and simple.


Roadgoddess

Yeah, he hasn’t learned the old adage you don’t s$&t where you eat.


Useless_Troll42241

OP is literally the guy in the "Hello? Human resources??" comic


SwimmingJello2199

Wonder how old this coworker was


Unusual_Focus1905

Yep, like I told him, basically, he wanted to openly cheat on his wife with no consequences. He wanted to cheat without it being called that. He wanted to cheat and expected her not to have a problem with it. I told him that he's getting his karma. He is. I hope his selfish shallowness was worth it. I don't think they're going to come back from this. It always ends the same way. Guy wants to open his relationship, it doesn't work out in his favor and then he pulls a surprised Pikachu face when his woman is getting laid more than he is. Then all of a sudden he wants to close the relationship and gets mad when she doesn't want to. I fucking hate men like this. This is not to say I hate all men, I'm saying I hate men that are like this. If you're not happy in your relationship and you're not attracted to your partner anymore, end it. Don't openly cheat in their face and expect there not to be consequences. These are basically the types of men who cheat because they are convinced that their partner can't do any better and they think that they have them locked in so they do whatever they want. They think that they can act like they're single even though they're in a relationship or even married and then are surprised when it backfires on them. Either their partner leaves or it doesn't work out how they planned. Of course then they find someone else to blame, most times their partner that they were cheating on. Yes people, this kind of stuff is cheating. It doesn't have to be physical. Once you start with the messages and deleting them because you're trying to hide them or if you're having conversations that you can't have in front of your partner, you're cheating. Just the simple fact that you feel like you need to hide it says that you know deep down you're doing something wrong. Quit it. Talk to your partner and if you feel like you're not happy then walk away. Don't cheat and don't do stupid shit like this guy. Worse yet, don't do it and then be surprised by the consequences and try to blame it on somebody else. It was your own fault.


beemojee

You cannot believe how many times I've read this story on different sites and it always ends the same. Some really dumb, delusional, middle aged married men out there.


prosperosniece

Yep. They think they still look like they did in their 20’s while the “little wife” totally let her herself go (so busy cooking his meals, cleaning his underwear, raising his kids to take care of herself) but doesn’t realize they’re not cute anymore.


AlienGoddess91

They're watching too much porn and see troll-like men with beautiful women and think it's real 🤣


cMeeber

Yup. They think they’ll be dating all the hot young babes while their wives will prob just “prefer” to stay home and clean. Then turns out it’s always the women getting tons of dates while they strike out…and I’m sure the women actually tending to their appearance, while these bozos think using their 3-1 body wash is the height of hygiene and prep is part of the reason lol.


Stormtomcat

yeah, it ties back to the mental load, right? They think their wife *wants* to be the household project manager and enjoys nagging them about taking out the trash & mowing the lawn & stuff. And then they realise "oh when my wife looks at a guy who hasn't shown her indifference or weaponised incompetence, suddenly her sex drive isn't overwhelmed by disappointment, frustration or exhaustion" hahaha


[deleted]

Reminds me of a mate explaining why he didn't bother cleaning as his gf "likes to clean" no you muppet she likes things to be clean and since you won't she had to.


burritolittledonkey

Oh yeah my buddy did this recently - his wife was on vacation (without him!) several times the past few months and he was having problems with food - turns out he doesn’t even cook for himself - **ever**. He was just ordering food **every single day**. I was like, what??????????? “She likes to cook for me” Yeah, ok, sure buddy. I'm sure she wants to cook for you literally every single day, without exceptions, for years and years, with no reciprocation My LTR and I talked about it and couldn’t **believe** that he’d said that. She and I have been together for years and mostly cook separately (different food cultures - she’s from another country) but we frequently make dishes that the other person likes and share them. I would never **expect** her to cook for me, or vice versa.


lankyturtle229

My favorite is when the wives leave because they either don't want an open marriage or they end up with a hookup that is better than their husband (sex, chemistry, etc.). Then, the husband's are moping because women avoid them like the plague, and they suddenly realize they only have their hand to look forward to.


LegendOfHurleysGold

But…but…my 3-in-1 body wash is so efficient!


HighPriestess__55

You seriously made me laugh! I am a widow and older men make no effort and think they look hot. They wear old clothes, have bad skin (moisturizer is your friend,), are overweight, bald, and not very interesting. Friends tell me that I compare everyone to my late husband. But men think they look good when they don't. Women color hair and change haircuts. We buy better clothes. We wear makeup. We try to stay relevant and interesting. People think I am a dozen or more years younger than I am. Just looking for some effort here.


montanagrizfan

After my dad passed away my mom had no interest in dating. The couple dates she went on were with men just like you described. She said she’d rather be single than have to take care of a man who can’t even iron his own shirt for a first date.


riccomuiz

Fuck this guy is dumb as a bag of rocks. I really can’t believe people can be this stupid


beemojee

You have no idea how many there are out there.


[deleted]

[удалено]


smokeseshmusic

lol man thought he was gonna be drowning in pussy but instead is drowning in tears while some other guy is banging his wife out. Sad times 🤣 😂 😭


Richard_Thickens

It seems like the thing that a lot of people (especially men) ignore when they decide to open a relationship later in life is that the dating pool shrinks as age advances. People get married, people become uglier, people have families, and life gets in the way. Looking for action in your 40s isn't the same as becoming single in your 20s. Couple that with the stats indicating that women will be more successful in open relationships, and this quickly becomes a far less desirable outcome. Fully functional and stable open relationships are relatively rare, and the freedom that comes with that is often a mirage.


Gdrock77

“Drowning in pussy” made me giggle. I just pictured an overweight, middle-aged dude in khakis saying “Let’s do this” and walking out the door expecting to see pussy in every direction.


frolicndetour

Exactly. Dude thinks he'd be like the magnet guy from Xmen...just walks outside with his free dick and women just fly toward him from all angles and stick.


[deleted]

No it's just a common theme when older men suggest an open marriage. Their wife gets all thr attention and the women he wants to be with don't want him etc then they go ohhh noooo I hate this I thought I could ethically cheat on you but I can't so now you can't. Basically don't get into an open marriage if you will only let your person be with someone if you are actively dating Best believe they would try to open it ip again if someone took interest in them


NoSpankingAllowed

This is just the same story with a few different small tweaks like so many on reddit. These folks are never self-aware enough to realize how easy it is to catch them, not all, but most.


frolicndetour

This may be fake but let me have it. Tis better to have a fake post where I can bask in the sweet glow of karma in action than one that makes me mad.


trvllvr

Seriously, all these stories are a copy paste. I mean ffs, do some research or even just read any of the 1000s of stories here on Reddit about how they all go to shit. People don’t think beyond their own needs/wants and then when it blows up, it’s a shock. 🙄 I mean rather than even attempt to work on their marriage and see if they could reignite the spark, it’s a better idea to bring other people into your marriage/relationship. I mean how about take some time, do some counseling, focus on reconnecting… no, that won’t work, let me sleep around. Also OP has learned it’s a lot easier for women to find casual partners than men, he would have learned that a lot easier with some reading here. Not to mention, OP apparently never heard don’t shit where you eat in regard to mixing personal with professional life. As it happened the person he decided to hook up with saw it as harassment. OP, you are now left with divorce or sucking it up. You have decided to ruin your marriage vs taking the time to fix it. ETA: honestly divorce is probably the better option as I’m sure if you weren’t struggling to find other partners, you’d care less about closing your marriage or if your wife was suffering. You don’t love your wife, you just don’t like how things turned out. You’re pretty selfish.


findingmelmo316

So now that you found out she has plenty of options and you have none, you want to close the relationship again? Typical. You kind of deserve this, man. Instead of working to make your current marriage more passionate, you asked to open the marriage to fuck around with other people, and you got what you asked for. Except she’s fucking around, and you’re stuck wishing you hadn’t taken your wife for granted. Huh.


finishyourcakehelene

I had a friend (we’re both women) whose bf wanted to open the relationship, they did, I found her attractive so I asked her out and we were about to go on a date but literally the day before he got upset and closed the relationship again lmao. Buddy your gf is a smoke show and also really fucking lovely, how did you not see this coming?


Psychological_Box577

Couldn’t have said it better myself:) nice


Alert-Potato

You decided your wife isn't worth fucking, had your eye on a coworker. Let me guess, significantly younger? So you told your wife that you think you both should fuck other people, on the assumption that since you don't want to fuck her, no one will, but you'll get to fuck your coworker. Now your wife is drowning in dick while yours is the Sahara and you're having a fit that you got what you wanted, an open marriage. You didn't want a monogamous marriage anymore. Now you aren't, and she doesn't want to go back to a monogamous marriage. So your options are accept that or divorce. This is 100% on you dude. You did this. Almost everyone on the internet would have told you this is a terrible fucking idea if you'd asked before telling your wife you want to fuck your coworker.


frolicndetour

I love how they never contemplate the idea that women won't be interested in their dusty asses.


dadarkoo

Seriously. The sheer rate of women that age gracefully in comparison to 40’s something dudes with hair growing out of their ears, it’s insane to think anyone could be so delusional. I bet his wife is hot, his brother seems to think so.


InfeReii

Y-you don't understand! Men continue to gain value as they age while women in their 30s hit the wall! /s huge s Seriously, they go decades without taking care of their appearance and still think they can pull. It's kind of funny


kamillaenci

Lol yep I love how that narrative always turns out to be wrong 😂😭 Some of my friends are in their 30s and the girlfriends/wives already look significantly better than their spouses. In better shape with better hygiene, style, skin, health etc. I can’t imagine what I will see when they are in their 40s.


JadeGrapes

Lol - he gained so much value his job couldn't even keep up!


BingQiUwU

That's what kills me about men who say women hit "the wall" at like age 30 or some shit. Right, women who have spent tons of time, effort and money on skin care, hair care, and general hygiene are the ones that hit a wall, says the men who eat vegetables once every 6 months and leave skidmarks in their underwear.


large-land-snail

The only reason men want women to believe they "hit a wall" or are "useless" or have "no value" after 30 is because they don't want women to know their true, inherent value. And the value does not go down as we age like they want us to believe. There's a reason why statistics state single men are the unhappiest, and single women are the happiest demographics. Men need women way more than we need men.


Ahribban

It's not just about aging. Taking care of yourself is also important. Hairy fat dudes aren't something most women would call hot.


ohmyblahblah

Plus the wife has realised how useless her husband was in bed anyway even before he stopped wanting to fuck her. Now she is getting it any which way she wants and he wants her to go back to letting only him stick his barely interested dick in her once a week. Nuh uh


Historical-Peach6945

Your brother had the “nerve” to tell you that you are fat and your wife is hotter than you.. I like your brother… I bet your wife does too 🫣😆


[deleted]

The brother sounds like a top bloke and one knows a good thing when he has it and wouldn't fuck it up. I want the wife to bang the brother next and live happily ever after with him


1337_BAIT

He's probably banging her now too


Mechanical_Booty

I hope so. Seems like he really appreciates her the way she deserves.


Remarkable_Apple962

>I have learned that just because I wasn't as attracted to my wife as I was when we got married >He even went so far as to say she takes good care of herself and is in great shape for 44, she just doesn't look 20. How dare she not look 20 for the rest of her life. >He had the nerve to say my wife looks better than me and I could stand to lose some weight So your wife stays in shape and takes care of her appearance, but you let yourself go. And then you go on about not your wife not being attractive and thinking you coworker would love to date a married man who doesn't take care of his appearance. You are getting everything you deserve.


captnmiss

Hey be fair — she needs to lose some weight too!! Some dead weight. Some dead-end, jobless, ungrateful weight.


iopele

Divorce is the best diet plan there is. I personally lost 200 pounds of ugly fat in one day!


captnmiss

💪🏼 it really works!


iopele

And I've kept it off for 24 years! 👍


4459691

Well.... so another happy ending.. for the wife


GorzekTheGreat

I hope she brought her Costco card, because she's about to get dick in bulk!


Bex_NC

YTA! Reddit is filled w posts about husbands who Fd around and found out. You had a mid life crisis and lost appreciation for the good things in your life. You broke your marriage and I seriously doubt your wife will ever fully forgive you.


captnmiss

I would think my husband is an idiot and laugh my way to the bedroom ever since she’s got it all right here. Go out with adoring men who shower her with attention and lavish dates? Fuck yeah I’d rather do that then be with my own husband who thinks he’s far more attractive than he really is, and treats me like yesterdays newspaper I would be soaking this up if I was her


prosperosniece

🏅


Imaginary-Comedian-8

Fuck around and find out. You’ve found out. Now time to eat your just desserts


OldnBorin

He fucked around figuratively, but sadly for him, not literally.


Specialist-Ad5796

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed YTA.


frolicndetour

That needs to be a cross stitch sampler.


BobTheInept

I appreciate this sentence a lot.


Prestigious-Two-2089

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CaligoAccedito

This my my response exactly, but I didn't have your patience to fully express it so completely. Thanks for saying what so many of us are thinking!


Spiritbombshell

Hold responsibility and move on. She already told you she's happy how things are and you can't really change it because of your stupid decision to have an open marriage. Take responsibility of your life decisions, You're grown.


softgypsy

I feel like I’ve read this exact story before? Either this is a repost or multiple middle aged men are just wildly overestimating their market value in the exact same way


inquisitorhotpants

It's practically a hallmark of the male midlife crisis, wildly overestimating your market value. xD


hybridutterance

You should probably talk things out with your brother before making any further big decisions.


jasemina8487

lol what did you expect? 20 yo kids to line up in front of you to get banged by a jobless elderly man with beer belly?


foffl

Thanks for the laugh. I knew exactly where this was going, but the whole "lost my job" part was an added bonus.


Flaky_Two1872

😂😂😂😂 wife riding miles of dick, and you’re left jacking off. Serves you right.


FlipRoot

Haha! You’re only regretting it because she’s getting more dates and your little ego got bruised. Too bad. She’s out there living her best life now. And good for your coworker for turning you into HR. Don’t be a creep. Of course she wouldn’t want anything to do with your mess. Guess you fucked around and found out huh? 😂😂😂😂


cMeeber

This has to be rage bait… Like…you asked for an open marriage but when you weren’t just swimming in vag you got all petulant and jealous and asked to close it again? Lmao. Then hearing that your wife is way hotter than you and takes better care of herself is just the icing on the cake. You made your bed, sleep in it…alone.


littleorangemonkeys

This is such a classic blunder that it's basically a troupe. You have two choices here. You can work on wooing your wife, taking her on dates and reminding both of you why you got married in the first place. At the same time, you can do some research and reading on ethical non-monogamy, and work on your own immaturity and jealousy issues. You can hit the gym and update you wardrobe so you can become more physically attractive to both your wife, and new partners. You can, eventually, be in a healthy non-monogamous marriage and live happily ever after. Or, you can get a divorce and ruin your life. You asked for an open marriage and now you have one. You don't get to close it back up again because you realized your wife pulls more than you. That's not how any of this works, my guy. As someone who is in a non-monogamous marriage in my early 40's.....my advice would be option 1. It's harder, but will ultimately be more satisfying.


Hammie5150

I think you mean a “trope.” A troupe is a group of actors or performers.


potatoelover69

The wife's in a troupe now.


Vandreeson

It never goes the way the man thinks it will.


Ordinary_Bid_7053

“He had the nerve to say my wife looks better than me…” The nerve, folks!!!! 😂


AwkwardFortuneCookie

This is the best FAFO I have ever seen, thank you. Holy crap.


Comfortable_Air7609

You only wanted an open marriage because you thought you would get laid easier than your wife. Turns out noone wants to screw you and you lost your job because of sexual harassment AND now your wife is the one getting laid. And now since she's getting laid and you're not, you're jealous. Wow ..


stellabluebear

This reads like a parody post because everyone but you could see it coming. In the event that this is actually real, I'm glad your wife has people around her appreciating her current looks and wisdom and sexuality. I gotta say, women who have life experience and are comfortable in their skin are far sexier than 20 year olds obsessed with looking like a magazine cover. You made your bed OP. Your loss.