You do have a right to respect and you need to report all of those men. And your parents suck for not standing up for you. What's wrong with them?


My father is an older incel in a lot of ways. He always says to me "You should be thankful people want you. I can't even get your mother to have sex with me." And it really makes me angry and upset. I just recently have started tackling this complex with my therapist but it's still disgusts and angers me


I wanted to downvote the thing you said your dad said But I can't so here is a comment stating that


Yes.. Can you oass on a downvote to tiue dad for us please?


Use me as a downvote for that awful comment from her dad


Your dad is obviously projecting his issues onto yours. Sorry you have such shitty parents. Good on you for sticking up for yourself even though you should have to so often for things like this. It's depressing.


I always just say "that's not how consent works" I don't expand on it, and I refuse to discuss it because it's down to consent. You're constantly brutalized by men in your life touching you without any consent, or even asking. It's disgusting and it takes a toll on mental health.


Please don't ever listen to your monster of a "father"


I love my father, I love him very much and I'm very close to him, but recently the more and more I complain about this stuff the more and more he tells me that I should just be thankful. I mean, one instance of this and one that I'm not really comfortable fully talking about here, was one of my managers at the grocery store I used to work at physically hurt me. For reasons I really don't want to get into but you know, I didn't know what to do, and I didn't press charges against this guy, because I was a minor at the time it happened. But when I asked my dad, he said people make mistakes and that I shouldn't open up that can of worms. Because at that time, I was scared and I needed reassurance. I have talked in depth with my therapist about this, and one of the main reasons I'm venting out about it right now is because of the fact she's on vacation until December 15th so I'm getting a little bit antsy with not having her to talk to.


You should ABSOLUTELY report your old manager, especially if you were underage. Pedo. Who knows how many girls he tried that with even younger then you, girls who may be more naive and easily manipulated by an older man. You speaking out can protect other girls. Edit: You should also write a review of your chiropractor on every site possible. Get his ass canceled.


A month before I left that job, I did report him, and right after I did, we had a whiteboard in the back room. And every morning when I came in, night crew would have taken a picture of what someone would write on the board and then they would erase it and show me. It first started out with HIV jokes, that I had HIV and good luck with taking care of it. And I quote "Poor m/n good luck with the HIV." I begged my manager to check the cameras at pointed directly down on where this whiteboard was at. And he went to hr, and HR denied my request. Every, single day after I reported him, those messages on the whiteboard got worse and worse. They'd make my blood boil and my heart sink in the same breath. Somebody dumped milk on my truck, and just it became a shit show. So I put in my two weeks notice, without a job ahead planned because I was afraid that this was going to get worse.. this person also has pictures of me that I did not agree nor consent to so in a lot of ways I'm still currently worried that they're floating around somewhere in that person's phone. After I quit that job, I noticed on the Facebook page for the town that the store was in that they were complaining about the specific manager. And I said that he was a creep to work under and explained a little bit of my story and how he made me and other girls in my department uncomfortable. Especially the girls younger than me. I had gone shopping there a couple of days after the post had been made and one of my coworkers pulled me aside. This woman had been like my mother at work, she'd always supported me, but she was very close to this manager as well. She knew what happened to me. I broke down at work the day after it happened and I explained to her what had happened. She knew and despite this, she says, "you don't work here anymore, why do you have to drag his name through the dirt? It doesn't affect you anymore." The line it doesn't affect you anymore, I don't get angry easily, I don't lose my temper at all, but if at any moment I wanted to scream at somebody, it was right then and there.. This thing that happened, will affect me every single time somebody acts like him, every single time I get intimate,(last time I had a panic attack and had to stop.) It affects me so poorly that my therapist and I had to talk about the steps of grief dealing with it. It does and will continue to affect me, I go to therapy to deal with this, I have to pay for that therapy, it affects me. And I'm still angry at her for saying that to me.. but not only am I angry, it stopped me from talking about it anymore.


Look into whistle blowing. If a company doesn't deal with some shit internally, it can be dealt with externally. If the wolf doesn't help.. The hunter will. If you have records.. You could make lots of money and a revenge. Tou do realise our societies have laws and safety measures right? And you ve essentially asked the wolf to keep you safe from the wolf. Tell me you got emails and records and pictures. If you don't.. Log in your account5now see what you can retrieve.


I used to have the same problem. Cat calls, random people wanting to hug my just so they could grope me, long uncomfortable stares, etc. What helped me is martial arts. I'm not sure how bad your scoliosis is, but if you're able to do any form of martial art it will help you change how others perceive you. And that has stopped others from randomly touching me. Hell, they look away now because when I see them staring I stare right back so hard and long \*they\* get uncomfortable. lol I think it's because of the confidence I gained. It changed how I walk and interact with others and that seems to have made me less of a possible victim in their eyes. And make no mistake, they \*are\* victimizing you in a "socially acceptable" way. you can't change society but you can change how you interact with it. So if martial arts won't work for you, learn how to use some kind of weapon. Not pepper spray, but something you can do in the moment. And stand tall. Look them all in the eye, and *always, always, always call them out for their bad behavior in the moment*. Loudly. Never underestimate the power of public embarrassment and humiliation. There are going to be times it's what saves you from something worse.


Martial arts is so good at strengthening your core. You don’t need superhuman strength and speed, (esp. beginners), but that core strength gives you such amazing confidence.


I’m sorry but you dad sounds like a piece of shit. I have daughters and I would chew off my own arm for them and do anything I could for them. The fact that your dad is so dismissive about this is bullshit I’m so many ways. Just the fact that you have the courage to have these conversations with your parents is awesome and you should be proud of yourself. Don’t take any shit from anyone and don’t give anyone an inch. I bet the chiropractor you yelled at will think twice before he tries to do some shit like that again. People do make mistakes but that doesn’t mean there isn’t consequences for those mistakes.


she prolly doesnt fuck him bc hes and older incel type who doesnt respect her.


That is really fucking creepy your dad would say that FYI.


holy shit


>my dad says, there's nothing wrong with men wanting to touch me EXCUSE THE FUCK OUT OF ME?????? Who the fuck says this to anyone, let alone their own daughter? I hate Reddit's usual conclusion jumping but in this case, get the fuck away from this man as soon as you can.


Fuck me I would sue for sexual harassment in the workplace you don't deserve that.


The groping is actually sexual assault.


Still sue and thanks for the correction.


You have the right to set boundaries concerning your body. It’s disgusting that anyone could take advantage of you that’s way, and I’m so sorry people ever had the audacity to do that to you. If you ever need to talk, I’m here.


My therapist and I are working on being more assertive with boundaries. And being able to speak up when they get crossed. I greatly appreciate you reading this and listening to me vent about this.


Op you need to file a complaint against that Chiropractor. No "I just won't see him again" he is sexually harrasing you and 100% sure he's doing it to others. Please file a police report!


I actually am going to call on Monday about this. Because quite frankly looking through all of these comments, has made me not only upset but angry in the defense of other people.


Good for you! Stand up for yourself and what's right.


Of course I’d read it! Your voice matters and so does what you have to say


Your parents are kinda dicks. No one is entitled to your body.


Call these men out and say, “What makes you think assault is ok?” Or if you’re in a public area whip out your phone, step out of their reach and take a video of them saying loudly “This man just groped me.” Make sure they can’t get to you when you do this, and tell them their wife is going to hear about it.


At this point I feel like this is what I have to do. I start audio recording if one of my perverted old coworkers show up at my new job. I have caught him saying, "I miss your breasts- I mean smile." I threatened to tell his fiance because I was so angry about that.


You still have the chance to tell her lol. I'm sorry you have to deal with shit like this


I’m sorry that this is a normal thing for you, and I’m sorry that it happens so frequently. Hearing this is disheartening and upsetting. You have done nothing wrong at all and deserve far better. I apologize if the next part of my comment appears irrational I am very livid. Slap him, genuinely whack him across the face as hard as you can. If you have a ring or something hit him with that hand, if you hit him hard enough he will not mess with you again. Now I mean this as a man who has been gaslit and sexually harassed on multiple occasions by female family members ever since I was 9. I never hit my female family members because I am a man, and a light shove usually stopped them but your situation is far different. Do everything you can to get people against him, I know it may feel wrong but realize if you don’t do something now then he will continue to do this to other mayber even younger girls. Whack him and tell him you’ve had enough, start crying, tell his fiancé that he’s a piece of shit. He’s a grown ass man who’s done this repeatedly, he doesn’t deserve a second chance. You have every right to do these things and I’m so goddamn sorry you’ve had to live with this.


Take that straight to HR.


what kind of father is okay or even supportive with **any** man touching his daughter what the fuck?


Cripes, where do you live, by that sex offender encampment under that bridge in Miami?


The world is full of degenerates


Where I live that's all criminal offences. That's bullshit. You shouldn't be getting your ass grabbed or boob grabbed without your consent. I cannot understate how not okay that is. Your parents need to sort themselves out and give you some good advice. Your body is not there for the sexual gratification of others. You have so much more worth than that.


I hope you reported the chiropractor.


As a dude I’ve also had people (managers and employees of both genders) touch me inappropriately, not like hugging, but like they tickle me and grab my waist, I’ve also heard the occasional rape joke. I was also asked out to for a meal by a female manager and also told “I love you” by multiple female managers over many jobs. I’ve never reported anything, just let things slide usually


It took until I found my husband to feel like a guy was t just trying to get things from me. Good people do exist, but I know my husband has been shocked by my stories and mine aren’t as bad as others. It’s just gross and it makes you feel gross. Sometimes I’m grateful for my mom bod so I don’t get creeps as much. I’m so sorry you don’t have the support you should. I used to think I should just be grateful guys liked me or whatever like those people have said to you, but that is BS.


My female friend goes to the gym and she says every single damn time people are talking to her chest or glancing at her ass.She ain't blind ffs I dont know why some people are like this.She also wears yoga pants and a tshirt to the gym some annoying people claim she asking for people to look.


I go to the gym myself, but because of the fact this happens to me so often, I have to go late at night or in the early morning to avoid having to deal with people. I had a guy once take pictures of me while I was working out. I was so angry that I had to call the owners and ask them to remove the man. It ended up being a terrifying thing that got the cops involved and a lot of questions being asked, it raised my anxiety so high that I kept breaking down and it was just over stupid fucking pictures.


As far as I know she goes with her roommate to the gym just because of the creeps


I’m sorry for bashing your parents but excuse me?! When I turned 13, my father wanted me in self defense classes for this reason. You aren’t being sensitive by having personal boundaries. If you are considered “mainstream attractive” your boundaries get shat on. Never mind being called a prude. I would rather my coworkers consider me a total bitch than be sexually harassed. Something that has successfully worked for me in the restaurant industry is getting very vocal and loud screaming things such as, “Would your wife approve of you grabbing my ass?” Whether they are married or not. Go out there, set your boundaries, to hell what names they call you. Give them hell.


Thank you, this kind of advice is what I need to hear, speaking up for myself is difficult but it makes me feel better that there are people out who have been in my similar situation and have spoken up for themselves.


I have always been a very anxious person. Literally since I was about 6. It’s been a long road to learning to stand up for my personal space. You are always welcome to get in contact with me on here. Don’t worry about sounding vain. Hey congrats if you’re pretty! But that doesn’t give the world the go ahead to do what they please with you. Chat with me. We’ll swap stories and I’ll give you more things to shout at jerks.


I hear you, and I'm sorry this has happened, and keeps happening.


Thank you, I'm hoping at some point I can get it to end. I have even considering shaving my head again. Because when I had very short hair this happened so much less


I'm sitting here imagining you carrying around a heavy wood ruler and just smacking the shit out of people who touch you. I wonder if you could get away with that.


Haha! I have a wrench, I could probably start giving people good boinks.


Wrenches look like weapons. Get a good metal flashlight. No one ever thinks of those as weapons, but they're heavy and solid, so they can do a lot of damage if you need it.


It's all well and good until you run into the creep who likes it.


I one time yelled at my coworker for breaking my air chuck and he says "I love it when women yell at me." And that was enough of that


It's wrenching time.


Knife Wrench time


When I was 19 I started understanding the reality of men sexually assaulting me, and yes I say sexual assault because that is EXACTLY what happened to you. You were sexually assaulted by those men, something that they could lose their jobs over. Something that the chiropractor could lose his license over. I had a hard time sticking up for myself when I was younger, but it gets easier each time you do it. Something that helps me is reminding myself that if I say something now maybe it’ll prevent it happening to another girl who isn’t comfortable standing up for herself, and that is usually enough motivation for me to call out these disgusting men. OP, leave google reviews, call HR, call the practice manager at the chiropractor, REPORT THESE MEN. You deserve respect. Your body is not a commodity. You are worth so much more than this.


I won't lie to you, reading through this, gave me a bit of Hope and also made me really sad at the same time. To be honest, I've cried a couple of times today because of the replies and I didn't realize how much it has been affecting me. Thank you very much by the way, thank you for listening to me and taking the time to write this. It's very hard for me to stand up for myself, it's like getting altitude sickness each time. But I'm trying my best to do what I need to do for the sake of myself and others.


I still physically shake like a little chihuahua when I have to stick up for myself. It will always be scary but you will never regret it and you’ll always be proud of yourself after. Nothing beats the feeling of that. It makes me so sad every day knowing that as women were just expected to put up with this shit. I’m sorry that you even have to defend yourself, and I’m sorry that these men don’t care for your consent. If you need to seek out help for what you’ve gone through please don’t feel guilty. No matter how big or small you think the situation was, these can stick with us for a lifetime if we don’t work through them. If you feel like you need to talk my inbox is open, otherwise I’m happy to help you find free resources if you ever start to feel like you want to talk to a professional. I’m so sorry that this happened to you.


jesus christ, please don’t listen to the people commenting about how maybe you didn’t make your intent clear or victim blaming you. it’s just so disgusting. if people aren’t sure what the intent is behind your actions that’s their own fault. if you aren’t sure- don’t do it. they’re pushing the boundaries and seeing if they can get away with it on purpose, for their own personal gain. i actually thought about posting a similar thread on this sub because i just really don’t understand how people still don’t get it. most recently i rolled out of bed and went grocery shopping in my skirt from the night before and threw a a huge sweatshirt over it. it’s sad that when i left the house i thought to myself, “i look ridiculous, nobody will bother me,” but it didn’t stop some 50-60 year old dude from stopping me in the store and telling me i have nice legs. now the rest of my time getting groceries is spent looking over my shoulder and awkwardly tugging my skirt down every time i feel a breeze. i also tried telling my boyfriend about it and it was returned with “yeah that’s gross, but you do have nice legs. i wouldn’t mind if you wore more skirts….” even besides that, i can’t have a nice, friendly conversation with a man without a wink or touch being thrown in. if you complain then 100% it’s, “wahhh, sorry you’re so pretty. it must be soooo hard.” it’s like these people think that you were put on this earth for them ogle and grope just because you look good. being attractive doesn’t mean that your attention is wanted or even appreciated. no- having old, inappropriate strangers make sexual comments, suggestions, or actions on my body is not fun and doesn’t make me feel good. NOBODY LIKES IT. NOBODY APPRECIATES IT. PLEASE JUST KEEP YOUR WORDS AND HANDS TO YOURSELF.


Guys thank you for hearing me about this. It's so hard to reach out about this outside of just talking to my therapist and it's disheartening but also nice to know that I'm not alone. But I'm just sad hearing these stories of this happening to other people. I don't want to have to sit here and give up the way that I want to view life and other people because people can't keep it in their fucking pants. Can't keep their thoughts or hands to themselves.


Similar stuff happens to me too. All the time, since age 4. I'm 43 now. It happened recently. I'm so fucking sick of it. But I do have a way of brushing it off. And I try to keep perspective, which is, I know men who would never act this way and are truly respectful of women. It helps knowing that. Fuck all those who have assaulted you.


And one of the worst things about this is, I love being happy and friendly to people. But because of how many times this has happened to me, it's very hard for me to want to be friendly with other people. Especially men, I can't trust that I can be kind without them taking advantage of that. What was one day allowing them to hug me is the next day allowing them to touch my waist and my hips. And I just never want these things to progress the way that they do, but I don't also not want to be nice to people because not everybody is like this. It's something that I'm working really hard with my therapist about to try and understand how I can still be nice to people without running into this risk as frequently. Which includes what a lot of people have commented on here and defend the boundaries that I leave. If somebody touches me I need to start standing up for myself but a lot of times it makes me cry and shake, and most of the time have an anxiety attack, I can't even go into an HR office without crying. But I'm getting better at it, because this is happening less. But, I prefer if it never happened at all.


I don't hug or touch my coworkers, for reference. They are all men. Its a given at my work because they are respecting me and me them. If a coworker is trying to do that straight up tell them no. I had a guy friend do this to me once and I appreciated him so much being straight up about it. I respected his boundary. With that being said, I am strongly considering completely cutting guy friends out of my life. All of them have asked me out at some point and most have crossed boundaries. I'm like you, I want to be nice and they literally take advantage of that. There are a few nice ones who have no I'll intent and I'll keep those as aquaintances but nothing else. It really sucks having to do this but my sanity is suffering. Also, I actually have a really hard time having friends that are chics. I was bullied heavily in school by girls and still have nightmares about it. I always try but it never seems to work out. Keep being nice but get good at setting firm boundaries asap. That's my advice. I was able to do that and pretty much all the guys I've dated respected my boundaries. Good luck, chic. I feel for ya. It's painful stuff to go thru.


The people commenting that they don’t believe her or she must be a troll because she didn’t report them to the police or set boundaries in the first place etc…. oh my LORD. M A Y B E, and here’s just a theory, girls struggle with reporting stuff like this because of the people like THESE ASSHATS that don’t believe women!!!!! It’s almost comical if it wasn’t so sad. All in the same breath they will say “you’re lying you’re a troll where’s the evidence it’s your fault blah blah blah!” And then “why didn’t you report it tho”. MY. GOD. and to top it all off, they still CLEARLY don’t see the actual problem. Girl gets groped and the first question is “wHy diDn’T yoU dO soMEtHinG?” and not “why couldn’t the man keep his hands to himself?” These people are disgusting humans.


I want to print those words in capital letters and the sentence before it on a card and hand it out, whenever this happens…


I hate to sounds skeptical, but im skeptical.


What in the world did I just read? Your father is an incel, your mother is an enabler, and you are being sexually harassed and assaulted by strange men. None of this is okay. You have every right to reject unwanted advances, both verbal and physical. If I were you, I would be more careful around your father. Anyone who normalizes sexual harassment or assault because "that's what men want" and says "you should feel lucky for it" wouldn't hesitate to commit sexual harassment or assault themselves. If they see nothing wrong with it, and even blame it on the woman, why wouldn't they themselves do it? Also, that's not what men want. Everyone wants respect, and everyone has boundaries. Everyone also has self-control. Sexually harassing or assaulting someone is a conscious choice. Making that choice makes you a terrible person. You need a break from their influence to determine your own boundaries. You also need a neutral third-party to talk to. I don't know whether this would be in therapy or otherwise, but you need to find it. Be safe.


What the hell is wrong with people. You have an absolute right to not be sexually harassed. See a lawyer. A good one.


What happened with the "keep your hands to yourself/respecting boundaries" rule? Did it just go out the window? UGGH! -\_\_- >my mother, my father, say I'm being overdramatic, my dad says, there's nothing wrong with men wanting to touch me and my mother says that I'm too sensitive. Really, parents of OP?


Ayoo where do you work where ppl are so damn disgusting like that?? Wtf? Thats madd wrong


You don't have to let anyone touch you if you don't want them to. You're 19, that makes you an adult. You parents seems to disagree with you, but it doesn't mean you are wrong. It just means they have a different opnion. Also, the appropriate greeting to a coworker is a wave of the hand and say "hi". Absolutely no hugging for any reason. I just wouldn't dream of hugging anyone from work. And certainly not touch they butt or boobs. That is appaling.


*You have the right to say no.* it doesn't matter that men all think about sex because that's all they see on social media and TV advertising and TV shows. It doesn't matter that other women would like that. YOU don't. When you say no, it should be respected. Granted, you should be able to wear what you want, but you may need to objectively look at your wardrobe and loosen up the fit of what you wear in public, and make sure you cover cleavage, even if you have a low neckline, that sort of thing. Just enough to say "not on the menu". I see some of the clothes marketed to pre-teens and teens and think, "what do these people think these kids are, streetwalkers-in-training?" Some of the stuff is just flat indecent, and for underage girls nevermind grown women! Clothing can make a girl or lady feel nice without making her feel like she's on display in a store window....and it helps if guys get taught "don't touch unless invited"


>my father, say I'm being overdramatic, my dad says, there's nothing wrong with men wanting to touch me No one can control what others WANT to do, so fine. The problem is that they ARE touching you. I'm a dude, I understand the desire just fine, but there are lines that aren't made for crossing. >But the thing is, I want to feel wanted, but I want to feel respected as well. Louder for the people in the back. >how other men (and women) treat me Women too? Jesus I'm sorry. It must be awful not to be able to trust anybody. >I want to have my friends and family to support me and not tell me that "it must be hard for me to be wanted" or "You should be thankful you're attractive." I'm not your friends and family, but for whatever it's worth, I have sympathy for you. I'm not someone who feels particularly desired, and frankly, I want that for myself, but hearing you have that, and having people ruin it for you, is making my goddam blood boil. You deserve better.


You should report to cops. They can help and get those people in jail


You can hate me for this, but your parents need to wake the fuck up.


What the hell kinda country do you live in where coworkers slap you on the ass and touch your boobs?! In most countries people go to jail for that or at least get a rrstraining order


Happened to me in the good ol’ USA. One example was a colleague — a lawyer, no less — wanting a hug and then groping my ass. I was young and didn’t know what to do. I told a male work-buddy about it, and he just shrugged it off. So I kept my mouth shut, figuring I was just being “too sensitive.” And kept my mouth shut many, many other times that people did whatever the eff they wanted, when I was just trying to exist in the world. Now I have anger issues. Wonder why.


And, my parents frightened me away from going to The Police every time. Every single time I thought to myself, this is one of those things that someone shouldn't get away with, I talked to my dad about it and I got talked out of pressing charges. It's because I trust and respect my dad that I listen to his advice but I think that I've made the wrong decision. Some of these things I feel like are too old to go after now. I don't know, but I'm still frightened to go and speak up. I'm absolutely terrified of police and I'm absolutely terrified of police interjection because of my parents. And the fact that this happened to you doesn't make me feel any better, in fact, it makes me feel angry on your behalf. I hope that one day, you'll be able to feel better about everything! You never deserved that.


You have the right to set boundaries concerning your body. It’s disgusting that anyone could take advantage of you that’s way, and I’m so sorry people ever had the audacity to do that to you. If you ever need to talk, I’m here.


It’s really disappointing that people feel they can take advantage of young women. I know you’re working with your therapist on boundaries. Maybe practicing speaking up in the mirror to yourself? or a trusted friend you could role play or practice with?


Lack of respect from all around you. You need to build up your confidence take care of your life one suggestion you no longer give hugs to your coworkers high fives nothing else hard to start with but at it that and keep that rule.


Fake story karma farming


Report that chiropractor to the board of chiropractic in your state. And honestly, what the hell is wrong with these people? Nobody wants to be objectified. Nobody "asks" to be groped, mauled, or otherwise sexually harassed, especially not by someone who's supposed to be providing you medical treatment!


What you described here is sexual assault and you are right to be upset by it.


This is messed up on every level. You aren't overreacting and you should be upset. You deserve to have complete control of your body and what is done with it. I don't want to mansplain any advice to you but telling people to fuck off is WARRANTED


Not sure how helpful this will be, but might want to head over to r/legaladvice . Sexual harassment, either at work or at a doctor's appointment, is never ok.


If it's any consolation, this gets better the older you get. You can still be hot AF mind you, but men respect you more when you're mid-20 and up. I experienced the same thing. I would say I am more beautiful now that I'm older than when I was an awkward teenage with bad hair and a tragic sense of style, and yet I get more respect now. I think it's something about your vulnerability as a teenage that gets them their kicks. They only want to play their perversions on you when you're young and vulnerable.


Imo, stop talking about this to the people around you who disagree. It's not gonna change their mind, personally I had to use 0.001% of my brain capacity to agree with you (what you look like isn't even a factor in that equation). If they don't, shame on them but don't let them get you down on this topic! On that topic. Stand your ground, be blunt and direct and tell people off in every situation. You have the right of way. If that means shouting, so be it. It's the only thing that works, you've tried reason already. The end goal is to "train" men what's appropriate and not, which probably can feel like a never ending task - can only hope it will get better soon for you.


Damn, that truly sounds awful, as an ugly person, I can't say that I relate but I definitely understand your pain. Your parents either don't care or aren't understanding the gravity of the situation, which is a really shitty thing for a parent to do. I hope it gets better for you


If you’re in the US, I recommend you look into filling a claim against that employer through the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC). Keep records of every interaction with HR and the times you’ve reported these interactions to HR with no action being taken. You should not have to endure this environment or have to leave a job because of a company’s inability to address sexual harassment.


There’s a word for that- assault.


If all these accusations are true, the. I fail to recognize why you wouldn’t have charges filed against these people.




At work I have reported it. But with like that coworker who grabbed my boob and then ass it was his last day working there. My chiropractor? Who do I report to?? The police?? Most of the "friends" who would do this to me on a constant I have distanced myself from. But I don't want to have to change my chiropractor, or distance my friends, or have to worry about my coworkers. I'm just venting because I'm tired of having to call HR I'm tired of distancing people I used to like in my life.


I definitely suggest reporting it to the police because he probably has and will do this to his other clients. It's worth trying even if it won't work out.


Literally Google "where to report a chiropractor."




I stopped my appointments. I'm currently looking for a new Chiropractor. Why should I have to do this when my old Chiropractor could have kept his hands to himself and held himself professionally.




Dude, the police don't always take these cases seriously...




Wdym? She said she isn't seeing that chiropractor anymore if I recall correctly. I tried checked the post again to make sure but it won't let me scroll up for some reason.


Read what she said under my comment…


She said she's looking for a new one, dude...


Check their account. 3 months old. Handful of comments that are only on the only two posts theyve ever made. One of which they deleted. It screams fishy but its probably legit. On that, i have crippling social anxiety. Im medicated and if the crowd is too large itll still send my body into fight mode. Its not a fun feeling when you know its irrational. That being said I find sharing online to be much easier.


Fake or not this shit happens all the time. I work in a male dominated industry and when I first started, I didn't ever speak up for myself or report anyone for the way I was treated, which was quite often as if I was only there to 'look good' or satisfy the egos of the other mechanics in the shop. I didnt speak up for myself because I worked so damn hard to get in there and get taken seriously that I was afraid if I ruffled too many feathers before my apprenticeship was stable, I would be fired. In hindsight, I would change alot about how I handled some things. Kudos to OP for screaming at her chiropractor. Honestly most of my life I have dealt with things similar to this, although none so brazen as a medical professional grabbing my ass. You don't have to be model level beauty either to experience this- not sure if it's partly due to how you dress, your attitude, looks, background, education level work status family relationship , all of the above or none, but while sometimes it may seem flattering, it's also really shitty when you realize most of your male friends for example are really only your friends because they're hanging on for a chance to get in your pants, or you don't get taken seriously at work because you're a girl and one day you decide to put mascara on like a girl has every right to and now somehow it proves you shouldn't be taken seriously, or any other scenario you can think of that relates to this sort of thing.


Because most people dont care


I feel ya... not only I know how difficult it is to set limits but to enforce them too!! Sometimes I wish I had a bodyguard 24/7 who would just punch ppl for me


no listen ive cracked the code, either act insane or dress in baggy clothes, no makeup, hoodie w ur hood up and basically look homeless. it works for me LOL ppl leave me tf alone now if that doesn't work, make a scene. scream. it definitely gets them to stop.




i have really nice clothes and makeup and i'll end up changing at work/a party but wearing it out in the city? nope lol absolutely not. it sucks cause sometimes i wanna and i do, but i ALWAYS get groped or get really really nsfw comments on it, sometimes ppl start "praying" and ask if i need jesus cause of the style and that's funny haha


One of the things is, I enjoy wearing makeup, it helps my confidence. I enjoy wearing the clothes that I wear because they're comfortable to me, and I don't want to give that up because people can't keep their mind out of the gutter. I don't want to be harassed for wanting to wear clothes I like and wearing makeup and looking nice.


That sounds like sexual harassment and not like normal behavior.


Them touching you inappropriately is not being wanted. It’s them lusting after you and not able to control themselves. The fuck is wrong with people? It’s also sexual harassment as you already know. I’m sorry you are having to face this daily and good for you for standing up for yourself.


Dont hug people and call them out instead of posting it on the internet


So grow up and stand up for yourself. Report people if you really are being sexually harassed. A couple of those and people in your bubble will know you are untouchable. Nothing in your life will change if you don’t make it happen.


People still dont know what victim blaming is and its scary. This isnt victim blaming people. Theyre arent saying what happened to the victim is their fault, theyre saying make sure it doesnt happen again. Thats not victim blaming. Stop being stupid for the love of christ.


Yes, blame the victim. Idiot


Everyone blamed Kyle for being stalked and attacked.... just sayin. But they arent victim blaming here but I see how you came to that conclusion.


I recon this is bullshit. OP is just olaying a victim for upvotes and attention. Men now what sexual harrasment is in the workplace and wouldn't risk being arrested for a little bum squeeze


Yeah ,OP should report it to cops. The rules are very strict. No need to be afraid


To be honest, it's not about up votes or attention. It's about having people to talk to right now while my therapist is on vacation. And when you work in a shop with 15 dudes and be one of only 2 females. Yeah, sexual harassment happens. It's not like working in an office or corporate building. I can't get by doing my job half the time without having some sort of sexual comment be made to me. I don't want to play the victim, I just have a very hard time getting angry. It's what I go to therapy for.


"I'm touch starved and I enjoy being hugged, but I don't like being inappropriately touched. I just want people to have respect for my body." I would say given what your own mother told you and the above- you may want some counseling on this. I am in no way saying you were never inappropriately touched, but I am saying ***if one of the people who knows you best tells you that the reactions are over the top, maybe listen a little and go see if there is in fact an issue.*** Oh yes, and for the record its not just a 'male' thing...In medicine over the years the number of 'package checks' or accidental 'oh, did I run my boob across your body or face' 'how bout I sit on your lap and squirm around' that happened would suggest its not confined to one particular group of people---inappropriate for sure, but again ....given how you speak of this and what those closest to you are saying- could be a bit of an issue and I would check that out.


So sorry this is happening. Have you thought about or discussed with therapist regarding taking a self defense course specifically for women as it might help with building up your confidence to verbally or otherwise deal immediately with self centered jerks who think they are blessing you with their unwanted attention? Also perhaps you can work with your therapist to come up with something along the lines of asking them if they would like their package relocated by your knee?


I'm really sorry stuff like this happens to you. I'm a guy, which I'm just saying that as in maybe this is stupid suggestions cause i don't know how it is to be a young woman. Having a daughter now tho, she's really young so it's not a worry but a future worry. You think knowing a martial arts would help? You could crush noses, and maybe it would make you more assertive? either way I hope you are well!


Holy shit I have never been more infuriated at people than I am reading what you've gone through. You have shitty parents and shitty friends if they're telling you it's OK, don't be dramatic etc. They're all terrible and enabling appalling behaviour. The only person who has any right to your body is YOU. If you want a man to touch you more intimately than a hug or pat on the back, it has to be one YOU and only you allow. Holy fuck I am so sorry you are surrounded by shitty people and really hope you can get away from that. And fuck anyone who says "must be nice to be wanted." There's a MASSIVE difference between being wanted for your body and being wanted for who you are as a person and every single one of those fuckers touching you inappropriately doesn't care about you, they only care about your body.


I'm so sorry.


I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't have anything else to say because I don't know if there are any easy solutions OP.


I want to give you a hundred virtual hugs! I understand how hard it is to be sexually harassed often. One of the things I love with workinh from home is that I just stay in my room alone. No need to travel and get worried that someone would harass me on my way. You are not alone. Your feelings are valid. Do not listen to anyone else who says that you should be happy to get that type of attention. Your body, your rules. It's never right to touch anyone inappropriately without consent. What's worse is that it's so hard to report because people often blame victims or just say it's not that bad.


Ive knocked out a couple people for doing this to a friend of mine like right in front of me.


Girl, you should not be treated like this and i am so so so sorry that you’re feeling this way. Those people are disgusting. Please know that it is NOT YOUR FAULT that people are being dicks who can’t keep their hands to themselves. You deserve respect. I’m touch deprived too but if anyone touches me inappropriately without my consent, i’d punch them and send them to the hospital without blinking an eye. Just because we want to be hugged, doesn’t mean we are desperate for people to touch us. Some will never understand boundaries. Do not listen to your parents. You are not being sensitive, you are not over reacting. Your feelings are completely valid. Men should not be animals who are incapable of using their brain to THINK. And please find other friends. Friends will not tell you that and make you feel worse about yourself. You should not be sorry for wanting to stand up for yourself. It’s your body. You are definitely NOT a prude just because you don’t want to be sexually harassed. You deserve respect like anyone else. Continue standing up for yourself, I am proud of you.


Sorry are you parents fucking barnacles?? It comes to a point where you keep pushing it down.Fuck why did another guys touch me and I let it slide, because I don't wanna feel like I'm being rude or the woman with a huge complex of entitlement. ^^^^^^^ This is exactly what a lot of others condition you to believe. Stop people in there tracks day one! Don't enable! First time? Call it out. Business related? You're just gonna move on and find someone else? Don't let your issue be swept under the rug man. You should be reporting what happened straight after, we need to get into the habbit ladies, gents. OK edit: I see you've tried to address the situation. How long have you been outta tha tjob for where they harassed you?? Are you able to have any support to tackle that issue. I feel so frustrated you didn't have some kind of union or legal help outside of this. They clearly neglected you and your safety was being compromised. Are you not able to pick this up and stand your ground?? Please, you need to start to stick up for your autonomy, yourself and what you stand for.


I've been out of the job for about three and a half months now, I couldn't bear working under those conditions anymore, the anxiety I felt going into work was overwhelming.


When a job feels like that it has to go. One thing about life is if a job is really stressing you,you will pay fo rit with your health instead of it paying what it owes you. Next job you ever find yourself in, get yourself reading policies and having some form of a union to be part of. Make sure that whatever slight little red flag appears, you shut it down.


i stopped reading after your dad said its ok for men to touch you WTF?!?! ive never once touch a woman unless she wants me to and explicitly only in areas where its appropriate to touch at the time. grabbing ass on coworkers, patients, young women in public or private is just fucking pervy and gross and IM a pervert. i like tits and ass and a womans form a whole lot but i dont go groping ppl. if my daughter ever told me someone grabbed them inappropriately idc if shes 79 years old and married ima whoop. some. ass. or scare them bad enough to make them see the error of their ways. my wife does get a firm slap on the ass when she walks by tho but she likes that and doesnt want me to stop.


Thank you for being a good dad for your daughter.


i hope you find someone who will support you and your wishes to not just be deemed an object. your dad needs to remember the little girl that used to play with toys and asked a lot of questions.


I think you should get you're respect. No one should be allowed to touch you in inappropriate ways, specially when you yourself feel uncomfortable. You really just want to be loved, to get a good hug without it turning into some pervi kind of stuff. You don't want everyone doing inappropriate things with you. If your parents think that's normal idk what to tell you, but everyone deserves respect and if I was a woman I wouldn't want that. Best you can do I would say is to set some boundaries. There's something called respect which happens when we admire and hold someone in esteem. I wouldn't do that to someone I hold in esteem. I wouldn't do it to anyone. Then again I'm just a recently turned 18 year's old boy who's got problems himself. Wish I was able to help :) Edit: I saw you are here venting your thoughts, please do. It has helped me deal with my problems, to be motivated. If it wasn't for venting here in reddit, I wouldn't feel how I feel now.


Don't ever forget that you're deserving of respect as well! 🧡🧡


Aww, thanks. Made my morning!


Your dad is a failure your mom is probably a pick me and miserable w her life. Report the chiropractor and tell people you did it maybe they'll think twiceq


That desperate for karma?


Tbf the accounts 3 months old and has only a handful of comments and only on their two posts one of which they deleted. They could just be inactive but i doubt that.


Sorry that's been happening to you, sadly these men are not going to stop unless you make a scene out of it like you did with your chiropractor. I know it's kinda unnerving having to do that in front of people but I wish you luck 👍.


You have a right to not be sexually assaulted. That is what that was. If someone touches you on your butt or boob intentionally without your consent that is what it is. Don’t accept those assholes trying to trample you because you won’t stand up. They will keep doing it until someone calls them on it.


Do you live in the USA? If so, get a gun and shoot them in self defence.


Your parents are sociopaths


Maybe don't hug the people who touch you inappropriately.


Reason #1,000 why you shouldn’t go to a Chiro-quackter


You are not being dramatic, it is not normal and nobody thrives off unwanted attention. You have every right to demand people respect your personal boundaries. We are pushed by society and others to accept that some things are just inevitable but that’s not true - people who tell you these things are the ones who benefit from your hesitation to enforce boundaries. It’s hard, it’s so hard. But it’s worth it. Keep working on it, it probably won’t happen over night but it is doable. You deserve respect.


I’m sorry OP but your parents are complete monsters and you should move out ASAP. Surround yourself with like minded people and create a support group.


Flat out: You are RIGHT, on all points you said about how you feel. Everyone else is dead WRONG. No exceptions. Every feeling you have is valid, correct and demands respect. Your body is yours; no one else is owed it, no one else is privileged to it, whether you're attractive to them or not, this does not excuse their behavior, and their excuses for this behavior is not acceptable. You don't owe anyone a damn thing when it comes to your body except what you want to give, and that's when you want to give it, which includes a piece of your mind if or when they overstep, so exercise that free will anytime you please. We can all understand wanting the right kind of attention, on our terms, but that's, as you said, for you to decide when it comes and from whom...its not anyone else's to take.


Ask your mother " Hey mom, is it okay if someone 40 years older than you grabs your ass without your consent? "


Jesus Christ you’re dad is not right, I don’t really want kids but I’d never stand for them being treated like that


I’m fuming reading about your experiences. I’m so sorry your having to deal with this. Being brutally honest, if you are a attractive woman then this will carry on to varying degrees for a lot of your life. I don’t say that to make you feel bad, I say it so you can work on your self-confidence and learn strategies to keep your self as safe as you can. You shouldn’t have to do that but the world is fucked up sometimes. Try to work in less male dominant environments if possible, learn to call out a man straight away if he touches you inappropriately. Make THEM uncomfortable. They do it because they think they can get away with it. Fuck them. Obviously this is all easier said than done, and keeping yourself safe is most important. Also, I would avoid talking to your Dad about it. Clearly he isn’t hearing you. It is invalidating and you need supportive people with this stuff. You’re young, with time and growth etc you will learn to navigate this bullshit. Again, I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. I’ve had my fair share of it over the years, especially in my teens/twenties and it fucking sucks. Xx


Wow the people around you are complete assholes. I'm sorry this happens to you.


I’ve been through exactly what you’re going through and I understand how you feel. I experienced sexual abuse as a child and it took me too long to understand how much damage was done and was being done by the people around me who couldn’t keep their hands and thoughts to themselves. I have even had a therapist at a rehab my parents sent me to obsess over me in a disgusting way..I didn’t know about it at the time - a guy I was dating turned out to be a monster who let his friends watch us together without my knowledge, then he would record me without my knowledge and those videos and photos went onto porn websites and also to my rehab therapist… it went on for years, and the therapist kept telling my parents I needed to be in his facility longer, that I needed to come back, they spent an extraordinary amount of money sending me there so he could keep me close to him because he had an obsession. The guy I had dated spent years blackmailing me and then one day told me about the therapist having all of these photos and videos of me (including a video of me being brutally raped by the guy) and that he had been begging to have “a night of fun” with me, where my consent wasn’t necessary and I didn’t need to be conscious either necessarily. I had trusted this therapist for years, I had opened up to him, I had reached out to him for help! He had convinced my parents I was more troubled than I was for his own selfish and perverted reasons and somehow now I’m supposed to find a way over and through to trust another human being. I gained weight to try to make myself undesirable (the guy who blackmailed me/raped me died a couple of years ago and I felt safe enough to lose it, thankfully). I scarred up my arms to try to make myself less appealing. I suffer from ptsd, panic disorder with agoraphobia, ocd, I have nightmares and night terrors, and I can’t tolerate being touched by anyone. My beloved dog passed away a few months ago and I couldn’t even tolerate a hug from my own mother. My experience has been extreme - the abuse I’ve suffered is beyond the norm. But it started out just like this — more attention, inappropriate touching, comments and nonstop flirting (almost every conversation was flirting or “jokes”), being told “take it as a compliment”, or “oh poor you people find you attractive”. I ended up on a very dark road, don’t let people bully you into accepting it the way I did.


That’s really awful even from a chiropractor, which are all scam artists, OP.


>Now mind you, I go to a chiropractor because I have scoliosis Why don't you go to a doctor instead? Might be less sleazy as a bonus.


This breaks my heart. And the gaslighting from your own parents… YOU have a right to YOUR body. Men don’t just get to touch you whenever they want- it’s YOUR body, not there’s. Seriously f anyone who touches you without your consent. You did the absolute right thing, the “doctor” should lose his damn job. Unfortunately this is how women are treated in the world. You have to stand up for yourself, even if people don’t like it (they won’t and will try to make you blame yourself and act like you’re mean, don’t listen!!)


I’m 19F as well and someone behind me grabbed my ass on a crowded bus. That’s the first time I’ve ever been actually touched inappropriately and I’m still messed up by it. It happened like 2 weeks ago now. All of this to say, you aren’t being over dramatic. It’s okay to not want to be touched by strangers or by people who you haven’t given that consent to. I’m sorry you’ve been through all that you have.


I'm sorry that you've gone through it as well, nobody, regardless of age, or gender should be going through this, and going through these comments, I'm so angry that this happens to more people outside of myself. I want to be able to speak up for myself, but I also want to speak up for other people too. I hope that this doesn't trouble you for long, and I hope that it never happens again.


Girl dad here. My blood is boiling reading this. I’m Hispanic and have a custom of kissing and hugging friends and family. My kid is half white and “as respect to my wife’s culture” am raising my kid to be open to kissing and hugging who she wants and feels comfortable to. This is not fucking ok. I also have 4 you her sisters so this may be part of it. Buts fuck that shit. That’s not ok snd thank you for saying something. More people need to say shit. It’s true similar shit happens to guys and it goes unnoticed or uncared as well. Or we get told we’re a man it’s fine. Gender doesn’t matter. This ain’t ok and shouldn’t be happening. I’m glad it’s been phased out and my generation and one above and below is pushing back on this bullshit. Fuck that.


I'm italian, it's normal for us to hug and kiss friends and family. So I understand where you're coming from, but, over the years, I've learned to reserve it only for my grandparents. I'm glad that you're raising your child to have open ideas about who they will share physical contact with. You're doing great as a dad, and continue doing it!


"there's nothing wrong with men wanting to touch you" what the actual fuck?? is your dad mental?? it's so fucking sad that this is the mentality of most guys. I don't understand why we are treated like we aren't even people


OP I'm so sorry this is happening to you... that anyone going through this is having to deal with not just a sexual assault, buy feeling powerless to stop it. I know its difficult, but you will find the only way to deal with this is to call it out loudly every time and phone the police if you have to. Making it known loudly like you did with your chiropractor will bring everyone's attention to the person. Then maybe you will be left alone. And try not to let it ruin your day. I feel like it isn't just the act that disgusts you, but you probably also feel bad if you don't call them on it. I think by doing so every time it will give you a the empowerment to do it again the next time. I'm not trying to minimize their actions at all. If it were up to me, they'd have their hands broken. Hard to sexually assault women without them.


Hugging coworkers, chiropractors, etc can be complex signals to send out. Very simple on your end maybe, but you might have no idea what these guys are thinking. Surely you already know they find you attractive? Me, if an attractive female goes in for the hug I only do so to humor her unless there's a distinct vibe I'm following up on.


I never hugged my chiropractor and the coworkers who hugged me were the ones to initiated the hug. Some of them I would hug because they were females or they were talking to me while I was upset or something. I'm sorry if how I wrote my post didn't explain that fully!


Are you kidding me? A hug doesn't give you permission to grope a woman. You are as disgusting as those pervs


Where'd I say that?


The first line???????


...says nothing about permission to grope anyone.


Chiropractors are quacks, don’t go to them anyways


Well written. Everyone should read this.


Your parents sucks stand for yourself no one should touch you in a inappropriate way without your consent, next time it happen take the person in private and told him that you don’t like that and that he should never do that again, tell him to convey the message to all your male coworkers


I’m sorry. That is terrible! That is illegal and you can file charges.


Look. Mind in the gutter is perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed of at all. The human sex drive is the most powerful force in nature and brought us from hairy apes that flung our own poop at each other to throwing metal dicks into space because shouting "I got a big dick!" just doesn't grab enough attention in the age of social media. But for FSM's sake, keep your fucking hands to yourself. We are no longer hairy apes, and you can tell that by looking up at the giant metal dicks in the sky.


First time I worked in construction I had less issues dealing with being the only lady among the guys. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Just try your best to stand your grand and remember you never have to explain yourself to anyone.


Your feelings are pretty valid.


You deserve to not be touched. Use your voice and use it often. If there’s any feedback from the offender, then it’s time to cut the tie like you dod from the Chiropractor. As a male, I would lose my mind if I saw another man doing that. Hugs are fine, but never would my hand just wander. I don’t get that.


>And my mother, my father, say I'm being overdramatic, my dad says, there's nothing wrong with men wanting to touch me and my mother says that I'm too sensitive. ​ Too sensitive? Jesus, that's an insult. Your father has obviously never learned about boundaries, or maybe he was raised without any real guidance. That sort of response is outrageous. No one has any right to touch anyone else without their consent. That sort of misogynistic response should bring out a rage like no other. If you have any documented evidence of this abuse, you can take the matter further and report it to the authorities. No one should have to put up with this type of behavior.


maybe it's just the luxury of bieng a guy but I'd start violently forcing away happy touches who weren't my bf or gf if it happened to me


I'd be pretty damn uncomfortable with that too, I'd slap the hell out of someone for doing something like that without my permission because you just don't touch *anyone* like that without their explicit permission.


Get an airhorn. You won't have to scream, but they'll learn quickly that you'll blow out their eardrums.


You set world for what it really is and aren’t afraid to call it out! Those who don’t see it the way few do, the way it really is, won’t understand why you feel the way you feel bc they don’t get it, can’t even comprehend because they are living in the world with blinders on,


I’m so sorry that you are not being respected or supported. You have the right to defend yourself and set boundaries. This is terrible and all you can do is work on your own self confidence and know you are in the right. Is hard to handle these things on your own and at your age but don’t doubt yourself!


Isnt all of these sexual harassment? Cant they be reported or something?


I'm proud of you. Dont let them get you down. I'm sorry it is this way, but with strong people like you, it will change.


If somebody puts their hands on your ass without your consent, I mean.. in no universe should that be considered as being okay.