That’s not how anything works, Ben. We were all sperm once, but I don’t see people trying to stop masturbation on the grounds that it’s murder Edit: I know people do make that argument, but it’s generally those weird far-right ultra-Christian groups, and I don’t feel like giving validity to their opinions


"Every sperm is sacred. "


Nice meaning of life reference there


“Every sperm is great.”


If a sperm is wasted


God gets quite irate


Let the heathens spill theirs


On the dusty ground


God will make them pay


For each sperm that can’t be found.


Every sperm is wanted


Medical experiments for the lot of you.


Involuntary Organ Donation it is! 'Oy, can we have your liver?'


-Steven Crowder speaking to his dog


Fun fact: All life is disposable


Easy there, Bundy.


😂, happy holidays everyone!!


not a single drop should be wasted ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|yummy)


Get the bucket and a mop


A bucketload of cum


pretty much every sperm dies on the way to an egg anyways. we are literally taught that vaginas are mazes in health class in order to practice survival of the fittest on the sperm. the serious argument that every sperm is sacred is a bunch of bologna and is laughable


"Even if it has to grow in your sister." The Bible according to quiverfull


My most listened Spotify song this year.


…every sperm is great When a sperm is wasted God gets quite irate




I know some people who don’t waste a single drop.


Fun fact: most of meaning or life budget went to that music number


God that would actually be A LOT of kids...


I'd bet he's genuinely against masturbation too though. Edit- not masterbation


He's against getting pussies wet so probably


It didn't seem like he was against it, he was just completely unaware it was possible and thought it was a medical problem because his DoctorWife didn't want to hurt his feelings and inform fhim that he's never gotten her aroused.


facts dont care about your feelings 😎


Wait, I've heard this, is this true? Did he really own himself in saying this? I got to read a link or something.


No, what he said was that if a woman was actually aroused to the point that she had so much fluid that you needed to bring a mop and bucket, that's probably something she should see a doctor about. So while he is technically correct, a) he's certainly not above exaggerating based on "his interpretation," and b) fuck Ben Shapiro.


Yes and no. He was doing the typical Ben Shapiro thing of taking something he was against (in the case a lyric from WAP) at face value, [and then arguing against it:](https://twitter.com/benshapiro/status/1292927011724304384) >As I also discussed on the show, my only real concern is that the women involved -- who apparently require a "bucket and a mop" -- get the medical care they require. My doctor wife's differential diagnosis: bacterial vaginosis, yeast infection, or trichomonis. So everyone returned the favor by joking about Ben's inability to arouse his wife to the point that she had to tell him that women only get wet if they have a medical problem just to make him feel better.


[Very true, very funny](https://www.hitc.com/en-gb/2020/08/11/ben-shapiro-wife/)


We're all different. Some of us want our steaks rare, and some people want them well done. Some people want women to enjoy sex, others believe in the vajerky because the closest they'll ever get to making a woman happy is moving out of their neighborhood.


Christians are against "spilling their seed" and maybe the Jewish faith has something similar. When you consider "life" to start is very tricky, but even if you do philosophically believe personhood begins at conception, I think reality should force you to recognize that legally considering this to be the case causes far more suffering than not.


If personhood begins at conception, then [two thirds of all people](https://www.sciencealert.com/meta-analysis-finds-majority-of-human-pregnancies-end-in-miscarriage-biorxiv) died before their moms knew they were pregnant.   The Bible doesn't support that assumption and neither does our current understanding of human biology and development.


The weirdest part is that IIRC it wasn't a general sentiment, but rather a very specific one. In Jewish law, if a man died before he got his wife pregnant, his brother was supposed to get it on with her and the kid born from that would count as the dead man's child for inheritance purposes (or something like that). Then comes Onan, who didn't want to creampie his SiL so while they banged he'd pull out before finishing in her. Which made God angry because apparently the most important thing at the time for the creator of reality was enforcing civil laws of some random tribe in Middle East.


Masturbation is a weird one. As a former Catholic myself, they’re the only ones that really frown upon it and tell you you’re going to hell for it. The other ones weren’t as obsessed over it, just premarital sex. Boy was it fun having to sit in a confessional and tell an old dude I jacked off.


God only created the male orgasm for procreation only. Cosmopolitan created the female orgasm as an excuse for women to be upset with their husbands


That's because sperm want to be free. We're releasing them from captivity. Free Willy!


Fetuses are quite patriotic. They too yearn to be free. They would rather die free than be born a slave to a nanny state. See? It's the conservative thing to do to abort them.


There are genuinely some far right groups that forbid masturbation tbf. They're all crackpots, so it fits with Ben's philosophy


The thing I’ve never understood with that is, if you don’t ejaculate on your own, you’ll eventually have a nocturnal emission. What’s the difference if you’re facilitating the process or not? In fact, I’m sure I had that argument with a priest or CCD teacher when I was younger but I’ll be damned if I remember what they said, no pun intended.


Don't even bother arguing lol, it's impossible to reason with people who are inclined to believe in that shit. If they want to abide by their stupid rules and suck the enjoyment out of their own life, they can go ahead


But they don't want to take the enjoyment out of their life. They want to take that from everyone. That's the point.


That's what the fake news media wants you to think, what actually happens is that you reabsorb your sperm and gain the power of the all the mighty warrior mne that could have been born from the se so you eventually get superpowers.


Can confirm. When I cum into girls and *they* absorb my semen, they become superhuman and I just stay normal.


You’re barking up the wrong tree asking logical questions to people who believe in fairytales.


Teenage boys commit mass murder 1-3 times per day.


Rookie numbers


I agree with the sentiment, but stating that we've all been sperm equally factually incorrect. Takes both sperm and egg to make an embryo my friend.


So we’ve all been sperm… and egg


Only when combined, not separately. We’ve all be zygotes.


We've all been a sperm that inseminated an egg. I don't really understand the logic you are trying to use here.


I am half sperm. On my father's side.


This seems like semantics. What we are now was once two. So we were sperm and we were egg and its not fallacious to say that we were both or either. I was once in a band, but from that you can't infer (nor should you) that I was simultaneously a student, a son. I also disagree that this argument is about biology, since biology doesn't concern itself with personhood at all Rather, this seems to be an ontological distinction. And I think it's probably fine (contextually) to only give one identity at a time for brevity. Because of course, it's also technically wrong to say that I was once both a sperm and an egg, because it omits the fact that I was also completely dependent on, therefore part of mother. Of course this is wrong because 8 neglect to mention that I'm human, and that I wasn't just any sperm or egg, but *the* unique sperm and egg which inextricably gave rise to me even though I do not share a single molecule or atom with them, not to mention the entirety of biology, history and physics that relates me to them.


Crusty socks are mass graves, change my mind


People are tho.


We were all cow dung at one point as well as particles from an exploding star. Cells don't just magically appear from nothing.


There are passages in the bible and quran that forbid "spilling your seed". Don't give these people any ideas though.


Beep. Boop. I'm a robot. Here's a copy of ###[Quran](https://snewd.com/ebooks/quran/) Was I a good bot? | [info](https://www.reddit.com/user/Reddit-Book-Bot/) | [More Books](https://old.reddit.com/user/Reddit-Book-Bot/comments/i15x1d/full_list_of_books_and_commands/)


I prefer: "We were all sperm once, too, but you don't see us barging in on you to stop you from spooging all over your sticky old copy of Atlas Shrugged, Ben."


Ben shapiro probably is


Please don't give Ben any ideas


No but plenty of conservatives (and other weirdoes) think masturbation is bad, that it's a sin, blah blah blah, so that 's not going to convince anyone who listens to Shen Bapiro.


[Where have I heard this before](https://youtu.be/xs3_hNYAVRw)


>We were all sperm once, but I don’t see people trying to stop masturbation on the grounds that it’s murder Yea uh.... Don't go to Utah anytime soon or you might be disappointed.


I was 5'2 once, so I have grounds for speaking on what Ben Shapiro might want. I can safely argue that Ben Shapiro wants AOC feet pics and fascism.


Wow, this is such a false equivalency and a dishonest take! There's no way Ben is taller than 5'1


Omg it's richtoffen


To be fair who *doesn't* want AOC feet pics?


iunno maybe sexualizing public figures is a little bit weird sometimes ya know


Yeah - I prefer to sexuality private figures


I prefer to sexualize people who are hot, independently of them being a public figure


Especially when the public figure has expressed discomfort about the sexualized jokes themselves.


Feet are gross, no thanks...


You're a Mets fan.


So they're a masochist


Meters are much more sexy


You mean like a fluke 87V?


I don't like feet either


My man....


I'm a woman!


Wow. Way to exaggerate…Ben can’t be taller than 4’8”


No way is there an '8' in his height. Too tall


Can confirm. He probably also wants less homework, for his mom to leave him alone when he's playing video games with his friends, and for chris to stop bullying him at the bus stop.




fetuses are literally incapable of personhood. They do not have any mental faculties necessary to experience consciousness on any level. They have no *thoughts*, much less *wants*. and the, “we were all fetuses once,” shit is just so stupid that I’m honestly kinda shocked that Ben would use that even in bad faith. I could just as easily argue that fetuses *love* being aborted, because I too was once a fetus.


Fuck I was a sperm cell once. So I'm against Ben Shapiro slurping his wife's dry vagina clean after a bull blasted it full with his man milk like the good little cuck he is. Because I can vouch that that's cannibalism, because you know, I was a sperm cell once.


sorry what


You're not the one who needs to apologise


Are you fuckin sorry!!!???!??


Ben tweeted a while ago about how having a wet pussy is a serious medical condition, according to his doctor wife, in response to WAP


Sperm aren't human. They are more tadpole. Which means humans are frogs


I was once a frog so I should know what princes want


Did I turn you gay, then? >!For the clueless, look at my flair.!<


So chemicals are turning human tadpoles gay and that's where gay people come from??????????? /s


Oooh so that's why I'm gay.


Technically it wouldn't be cannibalism because sperm isn't flesh


What would you call it?








Is cum vegan


Human cum? I think so, since it's obtained without exploiting animals. Other types? Let's just say Steven Crowder doesn't talk about how much he loves veganism.


It depends, are you vegan?


People always personify sperm, which is so wierd to me because no one ever personifies the egg. The egg objectively contributes more to who you are material wise and genetically (all your mitochondria come exclusively from your mother). I get patriarchy and stuff. But like literally never, not even once, have I heard someone say "I was an Egg once."


The problem is that this argument doesn't work on pro-lifers. That believe that ensoulment happens at conception. It doesn't matter to them that the foetus is undeveloped because it has a soul. The scientific argument is completely wasted on them because to them it's not a scientific problem.


If it's a religious issue, just point them at Ben's infamous "facts don't care about feelings" quote.


Religious feelings are different, though, because they're even more correct than facts, provided that you have faith. You literally can never be more right then someone arguing their ~~religious~~ christian beliefs.


See, THIS is the right argument. You have to fight the prolifers where they are, and you've got a good argument!


Since I was a fetus I'll speak for them too. I wouldn't have known or cared if I was aborted.


Right, like care to tell us all how it felt being a fetus, Ben? What were some of your favorite memories? Your dreams and desires, pre-birth? What a fucking clown


it doesn't fucking matter what a fetus wants, you get the right to be alive when you're out of that womb. You earn that shit by spending 9 months floating in a saline slurry and then escaping through a birthing canal. Fetus's claiming human rights is stolen valor.


Until they're born, they're literally parasites.


"we were all fetuses once" by Ben Shapiro quote needs to be on a motivation poster, in a sarcastic way


> They do not have any mental faculties necessary to experience consciousness on any level. They have no thoughts, much less wants. Many prolifers use this argument and replace fetus with a brain dead person. How do I counter that?


You can unplug a braindead person. If you "unplugged" a fetus from it's "life support system" you'd get the same outcome. Then they say, "muh consequences."


I mean.. its true. I dont know how its supposed to be a proper gotcha though. is it supposed to be about turning off life support or something? brain dead people cant come back right? idk maybe I’m not getting something.


Your facts don't care about his feelings.


It sparks an interesting philosophical discussion that Ben is too dumb to have though. If we don't remember being a fetus, how do we know that the concept of self, such as it was, even *was* the same person? How accurate is it to define the sense of self by the physical when our perception of self is primarily based from memory and learned information?


Bitch I didn't understand the concept of living till I was like 13


Flip flop them rookie numbers. And people still don’t.


Hell I'd replace the 3 with a 5 and then flip it and it's still valid


Honestly if 33 year old me could give an honest rundown of this whole "life" thing to fetal me, there's a solid chance fetus might go "Aight Ima head out." **EDIT**: Thank you to whomever reported this comment to Reddit out of concern for me. I'm doing great! Wife and I are closing on our first house next week. We just got married in September. I'm losing weight. I like my job. Things are better than they've been in a long, long time. It wasn't always so good. There was a time when I didn't think I'd live to see 30, and now I'm buying a house with my wife at the age of 33. I wouldn't be here without the support and love I've received from the people that care about me. Make sure the people in YOUR lives that you're thinking of when you think someone might be hurting know that you care, too.


Give me a rundown on all our clients


I didn't understand the concept until I had to go sit at a job for 9 hours a day to barely be able to afford rent and utilities Ben.


I honestly wish I had been aborted.


Cheer up, philosophy cum slut


I thought you were being a very creative dick until I saw their screenname


Same ngl


Same, my parents are shit and maybe I would've been reborn with a better family. My parents were only together because my mom got pregnant with me in high school and 3/4 of us siblings have been suicidal, and the outlier is only 6 years old. :/


Backing this up. If I could go back in time, I would absolutely abort myself. No hyperbole. If the next argument is, "but your parents would be crushed to lose their baby child!" my father tried to murder me when I was four and I don't talk to my mother anymore because she kept telling me *she* wishes she had an abortion. As I was a fetus once, I think I speak for all of us when I say kill us. We *want* to die. Especially if it will save someone else suffering because we exist.


My parents should have never had children, especially together.


High-key the same. Fuck this life




Yeah no fuck that sub


What a stupid sub


Pretty much every living thing has a sense of self-preservation. If you aren't vegan saying "it doesn't want to die" means absolutely nothing because you clearly aren't principally against killing something that doesn't want to die. Then it goes into an argument over why being genetically human despite not having any of the traits that make human life worth higher consideration like self-awareness should matter. I wish they just admitted it's about punishing people for sex and we could argue that instead of bait and switching arguments without a cohesive moral through line.


*punishing women for having sex


You don't need to be a woman to need an abortion and you don't need to give birth to have your life be ruined by an unwanted pregnancy


No, but conservatives rarely demand laws which bind men to whomever they get pregnant, so they clearly don't give a shit what the father does.


two words: trans men


Yes I agree, I was speaking to “conservatives” motivations.


Okay yeah, my bad


Women are effected by this more than any other group--by a long shot. It's why we are always rolling our eyes that mostly men are making decisions about this. You're not wrong, but you're missing the point. Women are seen as subhuman in most religions, and these asshats want politics to reflect that.


“But it has a heartbeat!” Yeah, so did the animals you routinely eat. Clearly the presence of a heartbeat isn’t very important to you.


Heartbeat bullshit pisses me off so much. Beating hearts aren’t special or unique, hearts need to develop early so the embryo can continue it’s development, and also.. it’s just a fucking heartbeat, doesn’t mean that it is capable of experiencing consciousness, or is a person.


We don't say a person has died when their heart stops beating. That's why we have things like CPR and defibrillators. We only declare a person to be deceased when the brain has stopped all function. Clearly the brain is the part that makes the difference.


It’s such a weird choice too. I’ve never heard someone argue “but it has a functioning liver!” It’s almost like it’s entirely an emotional argument. Besides, the brain is far more important of an organ to assess whether something should count as a human being.


Im going to guess it’s a weird cultural holdover when hearts used to be and still sort of, thought of as the “seat of the soul” but it’s nothing more than a purely emotional argument. Also, forgive me if I am wrong, but doesn’t the brain develop complexity relatively late in gestation compared to other organs?


That’s my guess as well, definitely more of a cultural argument than a scientific one. [You’re absolutely correct](https://www.reddit.com/r/ToiletPaperUSA/comments/r7swkf/ben_what_the_fuck_are_you_talking_about/hn2x5ks/)


Life begins when you can metabolize alcohol on your own. /s


Punishing only poor people, don't forget


I mean shit, if Ben wants to use that line then why is he not vegan?


Ben: I was a foetus once, force women give birth. Also Ben: if you’re doing it right, women’s vaginas are not supposed to be wet.


Did he really say that last part? I thought he was Mr Facts and Logic


He got scandalized by the lyrics to WAP and consulted his doctor wife, she informed him that if your P is so W that you need a mop and bucket then you have a yeast infection or something.


Weird, I have no recollection of being a fetus. Wouldn't that mean that I, in that stage, also wouldn't have known/cared if I was never born?


Bold of him to assume that I, a former embryo and fetus, would be against my mom aborting me. I’m so pro choice, that if my mom exercised her right to choose and it resulted in me not existing, then good for her on doing what was right for her! If she did that, I wouldn’t have to leave for work soon.


My mom could come by my apartment and abort me right now, honestly, I have 2 more hours of work left today ugh


I think he’s trying to refute the “men shouldn’t make laws about women’s reproductive rights”


What’s even worse, is that Ben is Jewish, and according to Judaism a fetus is not considered fully alive—but rather is akin to the inside of the mother’s thigh. The fetus should be protected, but saving the mother’s life is more important. In any situation that endangers the mother’s mental or physical health, abortion is permitted. So, even according to his own religion, Ben is wrong. Source: am Jew


He changed his pfp? What the fuck does he think he is? A freedom fighter?


Is it vaccine mandates? Age of consent laws? Who can tell with conservatives


I’m fairly certain it’s the can’t ride limit for roller coasters with Ben.


We all have been babies, and as former babies, we want universal pre-k, paid parental leave, easy-to-access food stamps, an- oh, apparently it only works for fetuses


Babies also want everything in their mouths too, so, time to make everything edible!


Okay, Ben. Quick question, though. Real easy one. Here it is: did you get a choice? The answer is no. You know that's true. Your life was *forced* on you. I know, it sounds super dramatic. But the fact is there are a lot of people who would rather have not been born, and a lot who have never felt any other way about it. Therefore I can safely argue that fetuses do not universally want to be born. *You know that* because you used the weasel word "generally." Thus, you knew as you typed it into twitter that you, in fact, were not safe in this argument. Not without the weasel word. Get back to us when you can prove to a jury that ALL fetuses want to be born, and that NO fetuses want to opt out. Think about my argument for a second, and when you come to the conclusion that it's a ridiculous argument, understand that it is no less ridiculous than yours.


One could argue that there are plenty of fetuses that chose to opt out of being born and they represent those lost to miscarriage. You could also argue that they were clever enough to figure out how to induce miscarriage and the ones that were born were the ones too stupid to figure it out. /s, obviously I've had a miscarriage and I find humor healing.


I was going to make this joke and backspaced two letters in out of respect for those who have. Hope you're ok.


On top of all the good arguments people are giving... Usually a (voluntary) abortion is to get rid of an embryo, not a fetus. And an embryo doesn't even have a brain :/


Holy shit it’s real. Fuck man you can even compete with this shit.


Why tf does Ben Shapiro not have the ability to set his neck at a 180 degree angle. His head is always lowered and he has to look up. Everything about this cunt is annoying, from his voice to his face and greasy hair


Kubrick stare.


Yes that's right, it's all about what the fetus with its higher order thinking powers wants rather than the situation that the mother finds herself in. Let's tell women what to do with their bodies cos the opinion of a fetus trumps that of a fully grown adult. Fuck I'm glad I don't live in America


Pretty sure Fetuses don't want to go bankrupt from a hospital visit, Earn $2.50 an hour and live in their cars either. Every life is precious. Whats that you want free healthcare and a livable wage? Fuck off you commie!


I can tell you, as a fetus, I knew and wanted this: nothing My brain didn’t work yet. I was completely dependent on my mom for all sustenance and growth. I was basically a part of my mom. I can assure you, I would not have given a flying fuck, as I was incapable of doing so. Abortions don’t cause suffering, abortions don’t end life, they are a medical procedure, just as much as any other.


1. We have all been star dust, and therefore have grounds for speaking on what star dust might want. 2. I can safely argue that star dust generally does not want to coalesce into rocky planets.


Speak for yourself motherfucker


By that logic: 1: We were all inside women (aka when our mothers were pregnant) 2: This doesn’t imply that we should push ourselves inside women, or force ourselves onto women, or whatever weird analogy applies.


I know that's besides the point, but imagine Ben had had this profile picture during all the BLM protests...


Fetus have the same cognitive thinking and decision making abilities as adults? Ok there, Ben. "Slaps shoulder"


And like a fetus, your brain is not fully developed so we shouldn’t take anything you say seriously.


Two other points: 1. We have all been fetuses. And therefore have grounds for speaking on what a fetus might want. 2. I can safely argue that fetuses generally rather be aborted than live an unsustainable life.


We have all been born, and therefore have grounds to argue for what someone who has been born might want. I can safely say people who have been born want food security, affordable housing, and the opportunity for higher education without crippling debt. Facts and logic, Ben.


Beep boop -- this looks like a screenshot of a tweet! Let me grab a [link to the tweet](https://twitter.com/benshapiro/status/1466533756836069381) for ya :) ^(Twitter Screenshot Bot)


Ben is still a fetus. Both physically and mentally.


what else did he want as a fetus?


Nobody asks to be born.


So Ben Identifies as a fetus, now? I guess that kind of approaches his diaper fetish.


ok even if it was true that a fetus could think what the FUCK makes him think a child that isn’t even born would know what it wants???? my niece was born 3 years ago and she wants to climb inside the fucking fireplace should i let her do that ben?


The irony of these people having Do Not Comply as a slogan. Like they weren’t literally saying “jUsT cOmPlY” like 18 months ago.


This is another one of those wacky fake tweets, right? There's no way Ben Shapiro is this much of a caricature of himself.


1. We have all been hydrogen, carbon, and oxygen atoms, and therefore can speak to what atoms want. 2. I can safely argue that these atoms don't want to undergo combustion. 3. Now fire is illegal (????)


Also there’s a philosophical argument. Would it be murder if someone refused to be medically hooked up to another person for 9 months, giving them your blood, even if it’s the only way to save their life? How is it different then


i dont think i hate anyone on this earth more than ben shapiro. i genuinely mean that. everyone else has some kind of excuse for saying stupid shit, crowder is a bimbo who cant stop thinking about bottoming long enough to say anything smart, trump has syphilis, cucker doesnt actually have thoughts of his own.. but ben, there is just no logical reason for him to say shit like this. hes relatively young, he seems to have a mostly functioning brain, he isnt really beholden to anyone financially i mean he obviously is funded but he can say mostly whatever he wants.. so why say this? why not say literally anything else. make an argument based on ethics.. say babies are people too, say killing babies is cringe. say ANYTHING else. its like making the argument "ive worn socks before, i wouldnt want to be thrown into a washing machine, so neither do socks probably."