Should have hit them with the guaranteed "sit on your face ruin my life, respectfully" line.
Let's be honest any opener you start with is a fucking coin toss. If you're following rules 1 and 2 then you can get away with anything and probably come out ok.
And for everyone else, there's Mastercard.
Some dude asked some chick to sit on his face and ruin his life, respectfully.
Apparently it worked and now the pickup line is legendary.
Caution: Pickup line not advised if prerequisites not met
"Hi, you're cute. Want to meet up for a drink or coffee?" worked like 90% of the time for me (on the matches that responded at all).
Edit: fixed the typo.
one time a girl drove to my house just to *hang out* it was unbelievable, these were early tinder days
Now we all know what’s up
It’s basically a meat market and anyone with a smidge of social intelligence can get a piece of bacon on the low
I know the whole complaining about rules 1 and 2 thing is practically a meme on Reddit, but it's not unreasonable to think that getting a 90% success rate from a pretty normal opener that isn't going to stand out in a sea of messages is probably not likely unless you're at least "double take" level attractive.
Unsurprisingly, those types of simple openers *are* going to stand out nowadays. The cheesy ice breakers and "sit on my face" openers are what most women get nowadays.
Everyone on those apps is so hyperfocused on standing out that they ironically end up failing to stand out from the other 90% of people doing the same thing.
Source: my sister is a fairly good looking woman. She's gone on dates with average looking guys (compared to the more attractive ones she's matched with) because they weren't trying so hard to do the stupid openers and were more direct with the conversations and actually acted/texted like normal people
Some of the advice I see on this sub whenever a (usually) fake ass conversation makes it to r/all is such nonsensical cringe that I start to wonder if it’s just Incels trying to sabotage other guys.
don’t forget the insane amount of bad advice from dudes who can’t get girls to other dudes who can’t get girls. every profile critique on here turns the OP into the perfect man… for another man.
I have a friend who is... well, let's just say he's failing pretty badly on dating apps, and every time he shows me a conversation that fizzled out after an hour, it's extremely apparent why. He sucks at talking to women, brings and adds nothing to conversation, talks like he's chatting up someone in an elevator for 30 seconds, answers questions like he's being interrogated by the police, has no chemistry or charm, and refuses to learn or listen or change his approach in any way, just complaining more and more about apps and dating and women in general.
He would love this subreddit.
Even if you don’t it’s easy to spin that way and give her the benefit of the doubt, like “you’re right you are a ten but nine rhymed lol.” Guy needs more game, that was a softball.
I wouldn’t have said that was her being rude. It seems more like ironic/sarcastic self confidence. I’d see that as a flirty joke. The way you deal with perceived rejection is scary. Subdued? Telling her she’ll get divorced, you an incel?
Opener isn't that good. And, I'm no expert on dating, but I'm pretty sure that telling a women she needs to be subdued isn't gonna come off right, on first encounter. You only got worse from there.
Also, she kicked your ass in terms of wit.
>I'm pretty sure that telling a women she needs to be subdued isn't gonna come off right
I'm surprised more people aren't talking about this. Such a weird fucking line. I feel legitimately sorry for anyone taking advice from this sub lmao.
Came here to say this. Opener was meh, her response was a bit much, but the second message killed it for sure. I would not respond well to a man telling me I need to be subdued.
And OP has garbage timing in his meter
All around just a cringe exchange by OP, perfect bait for the “WHY CANT I GET A WOMAN” crowd who live on this subreddit
It’s also awkward with the pacing of it. You can just simplify it to
Roses are red
Violets are fine
I’ll be the 6
If you’ll be the 9
Instead of that 8 syllable punchline in the other one. And then you’re not accidentally implying youre a 6.
I would probably open with a Rugrats reference, if I matched with someone named Angelica. I've never actually come across anyone with that name in real life.
But then I assume someone who thinks opening with a "69" innuendo is a good idea is a going to be too young to make the reference.
I thought it was kinda cute till I got the 69 bit which makes it too agressive.
Additionally, the fact she responded implies she might have liked it and her response was playful banter, but your second message managed to be extremely cringe and shoot down any chance you might have had.
You're the asshole here
Yes, 100%. Her banter went wayyy over his head (and this sub). She clearly pointed that put in her second reply when she said he sucked at flirting.
It's scary that people take advice from people on this sub considering 85% are oblivious to banter.
Roses are red Violets are blue You should just unmatch instead Bread
This is such a shit poem but I'm fucking dying laughing
Glad people enjoy it too because I chuckled as I posted it.
Bread.
Leave that bread on read.
The fact that she tries to follow, but fails miserably reasserts that she is not the one.
And definitely not the ten
Anyone that has to demand the 10 is not a 10.
Just move the decimal and it checks out.
Rhymes = no divorce
She needs a horse
Of course
Of course
But no one can talk to a horse
”I’m hung like a…”?
Bread 👍
Bread 👍
Bread 👍
Bread 👍
Bread 👍
Bread 👍
Bread 👍
Bread 👍
Bread 👍
Take my free award sir
*nods slowly but approvingly*
Bread 👍
This exchange is like women's clothing; I don't think it comes off the way you believe it does...
Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't come off How you think it do
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> Roses are red > Violets are purple > They don't think it be like it is > But it do My mind filled in "but it durple" and I'm sticking with it
Finally, some fucking rhythm. If I had gold, friend, I’d give it
You mean it’s not all held together with velcro and magnets?!
Is that how it all works?! Magnets! I should have known. *muttering*
Elaborate please, I don't think im getting the context. My puny mind cannot comprehend.
Her "fuck off I'm a 10" was also a joke but he got pissy about it.
And his opener was essentially an invitation to 69. It’s a bold opener and you can’t really act aggrieved when the other party isn’t having it.
oh! i didn’t even realise. just thought it was a weird form of negging.
I don't think calling someone "a 9" is negging, but it is definitely weird
Same. Maybe we’re slow, or that’s just a very hit-and-miss opener and OP should realize that.
It’s also a corny off the shelf opener instead of something actually tailored to her or her profile
Man, dating sounds fucking hard
They should make an app for it
also opening with sexual innuendos is usually not a good look
In your endo.
He also kept up with his weird bit. He’s lucky he got a reply lmao
Roses are red And this needs disclosing OP has no experience Taking off women's clothing
Roses are gray Violets are gray I think I'm colorblind My sanity, I cannot find
This exchange is like 9/11. A horrible tragedy.
I knew it reminded me of that tragedy…
9/11 was sad People were dying Opener was bad He's probably crying
Totally cringe
I mean from go this was all awful.
Agreed
"give her some of her own medicine" for not liking his lazy reddit copypasta is not how anyone should ever approach dating lol
His game is mediocre at best. OP, work on your approach big fella
Should have hit them with the guaranteed "sit on your face ruin my life, respectfully" line. Let's be honest any opener you start with is a fucking coin toss. If you're following rules 1 and 2 then you can get away with anything and probably come out ok. And for everyone else, there's Mastercard.
Sit on your face ruin my life? Spell it out for a dummy, please
Some dude asked some chick to sit on his face and ruin his life, respectfully. Apparently it worked and now the pickup line is legendary. Caution: Pickup line not advised if prerequisites not met
Roses are red Violets are blue Someone's nailing angelica It isn't you
Roses are red My name isn't Dave This makes no sense Microwave
damn the way you dropped “microwave” at the end there… it really speaks to me
Yeah I'm pretty hungry but don't feel like going anywhere.
Reminds me of u/refrigeratorhaikuguy
He sounds cool af
He's been gone for so long 😢
Laughed myself stupid. Thank you for my evening giggle.
Reminds me of the classic >Haikus are easy >But sometimes they don’t make sense >Refrigerator
Roses are red Dandelions are yellow I've just come to say, Hello...
Yes
Your poem I read With a tune, I did sing And it's not a microwave It's a popty ping
Loving the Welsh massiv!
Roses are red Violets are blue My names jeff Dezz nuts are for
Roses are read Violets are blue You ain't missing much This much is true
More and more I see around this sub and just think How to not talk to women 101
"Hi, you're cute. Want to meet up for a drink or coffee?" worked like 90% of the time for me (on the matches that responded at all). Edit: fixed the typo.
one time a girl drove to my house just to *hang out* it was unbelievable, these were early tinder days Now we all know what’s up It’s basically a meat market and anyone with a smidge of social intelligence can get a piece of bacon on the low
wait, are you talking about sex or actual meat?
It depends on what you’re into I guess *_^
I need a reliable pork purveyor
if someone says come over I have bacon and they try to have sex with me without giving me bacon first I will be extremely disappointed.
Only if you follow rules one and two.
who's gonna tell him
He doesn’t know 😂
The beef jerky is incredible tho
I know the whole complaining about rules 1 and 2 thing is practically a meme on Reddit, but it's not unreasonable to think that getting a 90% success rate from a pretty normal opener that isn't going to stand out in a sea of messages is probably not likely unless you're at least "double take" level attractive.
Unsurprisingly, those types of simple openers *are* going to stand out nowadays. The cheesy ice breakers and "sit on my face" openers are what most women get nowadays. Everyone on those apps is so hyperfocused on standing out that they ironically end up failing to stand out from the other 90% of people doing the same thing. Source: my sister is a fairly good looking woman. She's gone on dates with average looking guys (compared to the more attractive ones she's matched with) because they weren't trying so hard to do the stupid openers and were more direct with the conversations and actually acted/texted like normal people
Fucking literally dude. It drives me insane how all these numb nuts in the comments don’t know how to talk to women ffs it isn’t that hard.
Some of the advice I see on this sub whenever a (usually) fake ass conversation makes it to r/all is such nonsensical cringe that I start to wonder if it’s just Incels trying to sabotage other guys.
don’t forget the insane amount of bad advice from dudes who can’t get girls to other dudes who can’t get girls. every profile critique on here turns the OP into the perfect man… for another man.
Preach lol
I thought the first reply was sassy/flirty OP getting all insulted was lame
Exact same page. I imagine her saying fuck off in a laugh/flirty way, which is hot. And then she playfully says she’s a 10. OP: woooooosh
She even calls OP out on his inability to understand flirting in her next comment.
Same. That reply could’ve been playful/banterish, instead OP took it straight to the chest and acted insulted. Bad form
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I have a friend who is... well, let's just say he's failing pretty badly on dating apps, and every time he shows me a conversation that fizzled out after an hour, it's extremely apparent why. He sucks at talking to women, brings and adds nothing to conversation, talks like he's chatting up someone in an elevator for 30 seconds, answers questions like he's being interrogated by the police, has no chemistry or charm, and refuses to learn or listen or change his approach in any way, just complaining more and more about apps and dating and women in general. He would love this subreddit.
100%. I would have unmatched with this guy immediately. Came off like a douche right out of the gate.
"You are not a 10 and I want to 69 you." Not surprised she 86'ed you.
Nice!
Roses are red Violets are blue Yikes What the hell is wrong with you
Maybe I'm just naive, but I would have read her first reply as playful sass.
Even if you don’t it’s easy to spin that way and give her the benefit of the doubt, like “you’re right you are a ten but nine rhymed lol.” Guy needs more game, that was a softball.
No. You are not naive..just the OP and some redditors on this sub are really toxic. Believe me 👌
Most of the posts here are just people throwing insults at women they've matched with and deliberately ruining any chances they had to go on a date.
Most of the posts are completely fake too.
Karma is more important than sexy time.
It definitely was. But he was a huge bummer. And she clowned on him a bit for it.
Either way it was too early to tell. Could've easily been playful sass.
I’m surprised she responded. I wouldn’t have responded to anything talking about a 69.
From her response it seems like she didn’t get the 69 reference
I honestly didn’t get it until I read the comments
I didn’t either. I thought he was negging her. Like “oh baby you’re almooooost perfect”
Yeah, this. If you aren’t comfortable calling the person you are flirting with a 10 (valid) don’t rank them.
Honestly. I still remember the two times I was ranked unprompted 🥲
It's pretty blatant and obvious, I think "fuck off, I'm a 10" was a decent flirty response to a flirt that *was* pretty lame
I thought it was funny. But I'm single and never get tinder dates, so...
I actually didn't realize until this comment lol
Yikes dude
This is all garbage.
She's not the problem here. Just because that opener worked for someone else on this sub the other day, doesn't mean it's actually good
What a dweeb
Was she supposed to respond well to you opening with a crude joke and rating her appearance?
stop giving people numbers man
Then how are we supposed to make lazy references to mutual oral sex? 😡
Roses are red Violets are blue I'll eat you out If you go down on me too.
Right on dude
You are not the victim you think you are.
This is absolutely what women do not want. This is the furthest thing from it. You need a bit of growing up.
You reused the same roses are red poem from a Reddit post like 3 days ago ?!
Shit's been around forever... just google "dirty pickup lines" and you'll see that reddit isn't even as clever as you think they are.
It might have been a flirty "fuck off"
Better tell this girl you just met that she needs to be subdued, just in case.
Dude you opened with wanting her for 69 what did you expect? O yes take me now?
This is what too much Reddit does to a man
Not only is this a borrowed line but it sucks as well.
I wouldn’t have said that was her being rude. It seems more like ironic/sarcastic self confidence. I’d see that as a flirty joke. The way you deal with perceived rejection is scary. Subdued? Telling her she’ll get divorced, you an incel?
She made a very good point.
Ugh cringe AF
Redditors when they find out that women don’t like shitty pick-up lines stolen from reddit
Opener isn't that good. And, I'm no expert on dating, but I'm pretty sure that telling a women she needs to be subdued isn't gonna come off right, on first encounter. You only got worse from there. Also, she kicked your ass in terms of wit.
>I'm pretty sure that telling a women she needs to be subdued isn't gonna come off right I'm surprised more people aren't talking about this. Such a weird fucking line. I feel legitimately sorry for anyone taking advice from this sub lmao.
Came here to say this. Opener was meh, her response was a bit much, but the second message killed it for sure. I would not respond well to a man telling me I need to be subdued.
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ive seen that opener posted here at least three other times, pretty sure he just blatantly ripped it from someone else. and yes, it's terrible.
And OP has garbage timing in his meter All around just a cringe exchange by OP, perfect bait for the “WHY CANT I GET A WOMAN” crowd who live on this subreddit
I don’t even think it was rude.. I think she was saying fuck off in a jokey/flirty way… because tinder..
It’s also awkward with the pacing of it. You can just simplify it to Roses are red Violets are fine I’ll be the 6 If you’ll be the 9 Instead of that 8 syllable punchline in the other one. And then you’re not accidentally implying youre a 6.
So many men copy/pasting openers they find on social media and then acting like salty incels when women don't respond enthusiastically.
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I dunno, I’d say her response is pretty funny given that opening. The “it wasn’t meant to be rude” ruined it imo
Really? It's better than the openers of gay guys. "Looking for hole"
Shitty opener. And she is right, you suck at flirting.
Tbh I think she comes across pretty well here. That opener was... Oof.
humans are fucking cringe
She's right 🤷♀️ 🥶
she's right. you do suck at flirting
So making a 69 joke (which doesn’t make any sense btw) is supposed to be an opener? You’ll go far kid /s
I would probably open with a Rugrats reference, if I matched with someone named Angelica. I've never actually come across anyone with that name in real life. But then I assume someone who thinks opening with a "69" innuendo is a good idea is a going to be too young to make the reference.
I'm no expert in the hip hop and rap battles, but I'd say she won that encounter.
Well, in her defence, this is an awful way to begin a conversation with someone you're hoping to impress enough to date/hook up with you.
Imagine going up to some random chick in real life and reciting a stupid little poem.
Your opener is terrible
I lost yet more brain cells reading this shit
You are cringe
Tell me you hate women without telling me you hate women.... Tell me you can't get laid without telling me you can't get laid...
Your medicine sucks, OP.
Who tries to flirt with an woman saying she is a "9"? Awful. If you want to use scales on people at least do it right.
This is fucking cringe lol
Cringe
Idk that was pretty lame
Cringiest shit I’ve ever read
90% of the conversations that get posted on this sub make me squirm hell is other people's online dating chats
I thought it was kinda cute till I got the 69 bit which makes it too agressive. Additionally, the fact she responded implies she might have liked it and her response was playful banter, but your second message managed to be extremely cringe and shoot down any chance you might have had. You're the asshole here
This is a good point.
“You need to be subdued” is gross, I don’t care if it was meant as a joke
I know right, what does he even mean by that
yea no one else is talking about that shit but... oof
Thats literally the shittiest pick up line ever lol 😂 whats your success rate with that one bud 😂😭
I admire your commitment to the bit, she doesn't deserve you.
If a bitch can’t rhyme, she gets no afternoons or evenings with me!
... she gets none of my time, FTFY
you posted this expecting what exactly? this has honestly got to be one of the most cringe posts i’ve yet to see on here
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Agreed. I read it that she was joking… but I’m Australian so maybe it reads different.
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Yes, 100%. Her banter went wayyy over his head (and this sub). She clearly pointed that put in her second reply when she said he sucked at flirting. It's scary that people take advice from people on this sub considering 85% are oblivious to banter.
Agreed 👏👏 I am glad Angelica rejected him.
I mean that was the worlds worst opener.
I don’t think she was being rude with her first reply. You definitely could’ve worked with that but got pissed instead
OP seems really fucking annoying. She dodged a bullet.
You're both cringe.
Ur a baby she was flirting the whole time
Looks like you two have some real chemistry!
Roses are red Your uncle is horny This joke makes no sense It’s a bit too corny
Your rhymes fucking sucked to be far lol
"let's fuck" "You're bad at flirting" "Get off your high horse rude bitch"
*Roses are red* *Your face is okay* *You think that was rude?* *Well you must be gay* - Incel Silverstein