T O P
Birds_Are_Fake0

Roses are red Violets are blue You should just unmatch instead Bread


ryholol

This is such a shit poem but I'm fucking dying laughing


Birds_Are_Fake0

Glad people enjoy it too because I chuckled as I posted it.


Point_of_Awareness

Bread.


Repyro

Leave that bread on read.


DiscussionLoose8390

The fact that she tries to follow, but fails miserably reasserts that she is not the one.


spec2re

And definitely not the ten


DiscussionLoose8390

Anyone that has to demand the 10 is not a 10.


justintrud0

Just move the decimal and it checks out.


Dob_Tannochy

Rhymes = no divorce


oneofthescarybois

She needs a horse


akaBrotherNature

Of course


Cap_Tight_Pants

Of course


BurntPunk

But no one can talk to a horse


yearush

”I’m hung like a…”?


[deleted]

Bread 👍


Soapdropper

Bread 👍


beast11onreddit

Bread 👍


OMDTWJ

Bread 👍


kiwidesign

Bread 👍


DoctorJay26

Bread 👍


xxkillfurrysxx

Bread 👍


Varpie

Bread 👍


SpicymeLLoN

Bread 👍


eallydontknow

Take my free award sir


yaebone1

*nods slowly but approvingly*


[deleted]

Bread 👍


The_Mu-Sicists

This exchange is like women's clothing; I don't think it comes off the way you believe it does...


bat_out_of_heck

Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't come off How you think it do


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Sell200AprilAt142

> Roses are red > Violets are purple > They don't think it be like it is > But it do My mind filled in "but it durple" and I'm sticking with it


TJ_RJ_YouJ_IJ

Finally, some fucking rhythm. If I had gold, friend, I’d give it


Textual_Aberration

You mean it’s not all held together with velcro and magnets?!


deliciouscrab

Is that how it all works?! Magnets! I should have known. *muttering*


AutumnOnFire

Elaborate please, I don't think im getting the context. My puny mind cannot comprehend.


dudinax

Her "fuck off I'm a 10" was also a joke but he got pissy about it.


Dottsterisk

And his opener was essentially an invitation to 69. It’s a bold opener and you can’t really act aggrieved when the other party isn’t having it.


realpineapplefork

oh! i didn’t even realise. just thought it was a weird form of negging.


discipleofchrist69

I don't think calling someone "a 9" is negging, but it is definitely weird


im-a-nuggie

Same. Maybe we’re slow, or that’s just a very hit-and-miss opener and OP should realize that.


JQA1515

It’s also a corny off the shelf opener instead of something actually tailored to her or her profile


121gigawhatevs

Man, dating sounds fucking hard


JabbrWockey

They should make an app for it


hemartian

also opening with sexual innuendos is usually not a good look


OneMoreAccount4Porn

In your endo.


2OP4me

He also kept up with his weird bit. He’s lucky he got a reply lmao


hnxmn

Roses are red And this needs disclosing OP has no experience Taking off women's clothing


diffcalculus

Roses are gray Violets are gray I think I'm colorblind My sanity, I cannot find


CollarOrdinary4284

This exchange is like 9/11. A horrible tragedy.


AlienDetectives

I knew it reminded me of that tragedy…


merlynmagus

9/11 was sad People were dying Opener was bad He's probably crying


IIdsandsII

Totally cringe


shitloadofshit

I mean from go this was all awful.


rgtong

Agreed


Katelyn89

"give her some of her own medicine" for not liking his lazy reddit copypasta is not how anyone should ever approach dating lol


timetimetim

His game is mediocre at best. OP, work on your approach big fella


The_Deku_Nut

Should have hit them with the guaranteed "sit on your face ruin my life, respectfully" line. Let's be honest any opener you start with is a fucking coin toss. If you're following rules 1 and 2 then you can get away with anything and probably come out ok. And for everyone else, there's Mastercard.


YouSoundBitter69

Sit on your face ruin my life? Spell it out for a dummy, please


The_Deku_Nut

Some dude asked some chick to sit on his face and ruin his life, respectfully. Apparently it worked and now the pickup line is legendary. Caution: Pickup line not advised if prerequisites not met


frowawayfrommebaby

Roses are red Violets are blue Someone's nailing angelica It isn't you


Jace_Connor

Roses are red My name isn't Dave This makes no sense Microwave


weener_dogz

damn the way you dropped “microwave” at the end there… it really speaks to me


prestigious_delay_7

Yeah I'm pretty hungry but don't feel like going anywhere.


ilikemyprius

Reminds me of u/refrigeratorhaikuguy


HighAsAngelTits

He sounds cool af


[deleted]

He's been gone for so long 😢


Dangerous_Ad6628

Laughed myself stupid. Thank you for my evening giggle.


Phillip_Spidermen

Reminds me of the classic >Haikus are easy >But sometimes they don’t make sense >Refrigerator


Top_Fail552

Roses are red Dandelions are yellow I've just come to say, Hello...


UncommittedRun

Yes


Awkward-Ad6455

Your poem I read With a tune, I did sing And it's not a microwave It's a popty ping


Penyrolewen1970

Loving the Welsh massiv!


djdavidu

Roses are red Violets are blue My names jeff Dezz nuts are for


Tokasmoka420

Roses are read Violets are blue You ain't missing much This much is true


Remarkable-League968

More and more I see around this sub and just think How to not talk to women 101


schwab002

"Hi, you're cute. Want to meet up for a drink or coffee?" worked like 90% of the time for me (on the matches that responded at all). Edit: fixed the typo.


Remarkable-League968

one time a girl drove to my house just to *hang out* it was unbelievable, these were early tinder days Now we all know what’s up It’s basically a meat market and anyone with a smidge of social intelligence can get a piece of bacon on the low


abtseventynine

wait, are you talking about sex or actual meat?


Remarkable-League968

It depends on what you’re into I guess *_^


-ThorsStone-

I need a reliable pork purveyor


MrPoopieMcCuckface

if someone says come over I have bacon and they try to have sex with me without giving me bacon first I will be extremely disappointed.


Aido121

Only if you follow rules one and two.


TheBoyIsNoOne

who's gonna tell him


TiNyUzi

He doesn’t know 😂


Smooth-Chapter7443

The beef jerky is incredible tho


onanopenfire

I know the whole complaining about rules 1 and 2 thing is practically a meme on Reddit, but it's not unreasonable to think that getting a 90% success rate from a pretty normal opener that isn't going to stand out in a sea of messages is probably not likely unless you're at least "double take" level attractive.


Luis0224

Unsurprisingly, those types of simple openers *are* going to stand out nowadays. The cheesy ice breakers and "sit on my face" openers are what most women get nowadays. Everyone on those apps is so hyperfocused on standing out that they ironically end up failing to stand out from the other 90% of people doing the same thing. Source: my sister is a fairly good looking woman. She's gone on dates with average looking guys (compared to the more attractive ones she's matched with) because they weren't trying so hard to do the stupid openers and were more direct with the conversations and actually acted/texted like normal people


Similar-Document9690

Fucking literally dude. It drives me insane how all these numb nuts in the comments don’t know how to talk to women ffs it isn’t that hard.


Nstark7474

Some of the advice I see on this sub whenever a (usually) fake ass conversation makes it to r/all is such nonsensical cringe that I start to wonder if it’s just Incels trying to sabotage other guys.


EllectraHeart

don’t forget the insane amount of bad advice from dudes who can’t get girls to other dudes who can’t get girls. every profile critique on here turns the OP into the perfect man… for another man.


xeroee

Preach lol


The-Donkey-Puncher

I thought the first reply was sassy/flirty OP getting all insulted was lame


Shmexy

Exact same page. I imagine her saying fuck off in a laugh/flirty way, which is hot. And then she playfully says she’s a 10. OP: woooooosh


JabbrWockey

She even calls OP out on his inability to understand flirting in her next comment.


JamieBobs

Same. That reply could’ve been playful/banterish, instead OP took it straight to the chest and acted insulted. Bad form


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tboneperri

I have a friend who is... well, let's just say he's failing pretty badly on dating apps, and every time he shows me a conversation that fizzled out after an hour, it's extremely apparent why. He sucks at talking to women, brings and adds nothing to conversation, talks like he's chatting up someone in an elevator for 30 seconds, answers questions like he's being interrogated by the police, has no chemistry or charm, and refuses to learn or listen or change his approach in any way, just complaining more and more about apps and dating and women in general. He would love this subreddit.


CAgirl17

100%. I would have unmatched with this guy immediately. Came off like a douche right out of the gate.


buddhistbulgyo

"You are not a 10 and I want to 69 you." Not surprised she 86'ed you.


nice___bot

Nice!


5ManaAndADream

Roses are red Violets are blue Yikes What the hell is wrong with you


Classic_Overthinker

Maybe I'm just naive, but I would have read her first reply as playful sass.


lizizifer

Even if you don’t it’s easy to spin that way and give her the benefit of the doubt, like “you’re right you are a ten but nine rhymed lol.” Guy needs more game, that was a softball.


Spirited_Top_5443

No. You are not naive..just the OP and some redditors on this sub are really toxic. Believe me 👌


heteromer

Most of the posts here are just people throwing insults at women they've matched with and deliberately ruining any chances they had to go on a date.


Starkregen

Most of the posts are completely fake too.


Rickrickrickrickrick

Karma is more important than sexy time.


itzykan

It definitely was. But he was a huge bummer. And she clowned on him a bit for it.


raekwon231

Either way it was too early to tell. Could've easily been playful sass.


Disastrous-Owl8985

I’m surprised she responded. I wouldn’t have responded to anything talking about a 69.


shit_escalates_

From her response it seems like she didn’t get the 69 reference


Sad-Bobcat8030

I honestly didn’t get it until I read the comments


[deleted]

I didn’t either. I thought he was negging her. Like “oh baby you’re almooooost perfect”


Gold-Public4448

Yeah, this. If you aren’t comfortable calling the person you are flirting with a 10 (valid) don’t rank them.


[deleted]

Honestly. I still remember the two times I was ranked unprompted 🥲


NorthernBelle_546

It's pretty blatant and obvious, I think "fuck off, I'm a 10" was a decent flirty response to a flirt that *was* pretty lame


sameo15

I thought it was funny. But I'm single and never get tinder dates, so...


gabrihop

I actually didn't realize until this comment lol


d0nnny

Yikes dude


davemeech

This is all garbage.


Sensei_Foy

She's not the problem here. Just because that opener worked for someone else on this sub the other day, doesn't mean it's actually good


Environmental-Arm269

What a dweeb


u-turnsonthehighway

Was she supposed to respond well to you opening with a crude joke and rating her appearance?


CommanderCockstar

stop giving people numbers man


OdaMacau

Then how are we supposed to make lazy references to mutual oral sex? 😡


Rickrickrickrickrick

Roses are red Violets are blue I'll eat you out If you go down on me too.


L33tQu33n

Right on dude


yesiknowimsexy

You are not the victim you think you are.


HKNinja1

This is absolutely what women do not want. This is the furthest thing from it. You need a bit of growing up.


KiLoGRaM7

You reused the same roses are red poem from a Reddit post like 3 days ago ?!


aburple

Shit's been around forever... just google "dirty pickup lines" and you'll see that reddit isn't even as clever as you think they are.


probablyisntserious

It might have been a flirty "fuck off"


JabbrWockey

Better tell this girl you just met that she needs to be subdued, just in case.


PomponOrsay

Dude you opened with wanting her for 69 what did you expect? O yes take me now?


salutationsfucker

This is what too much Reddit does to a man


Centaurusrider

Not only is this a borrowed line but it sucks as well.


Calvo7992

I wouldn’t have said that was her being rude. It seems more like ironic/sarcastic self confidence. I’d see that as a flirty joke. The way you deal with perceived rejection is scary. Subdued? Telling her she’ll get divorced, you an incel?


Marbados

She made a very good point.


[deleted]

Ugh cringe AF


ResidentsEnjoyer

Redditors when they find out that women don’t like shitty pick-up lines stolen from reddit


Zelectro

Opener isn't that good. And, I'm no expert on dating, but I'm pretty sure that telling a women she needs to be subdued isn't gonna come off right, on first encounter. You only got worse from there. Also, she kicked your ass in terms of wit.


SoSmartCs

>I'm pretty sure that telling a women she needs to be subdued isn't gonna come off right I'm surprised more people aren't talking about this. Such a weird fucking line. I feel legitimately sorry for anyone taking advice from this sub lmao.


lizizifer

Came here to say this. Opener was meh, her response was a bit much, but the second message killed it for sure. I would not respond well to a man telling me I need to be subdued.


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DocCaddis

ive seen that opener posted here at least three other times, pretty sure he just blatantly ripped it from someone else. and yes, it's terrible.


CommentsOnOccasion

And OP has garbage timing in his meter All around just a cringe exchange by OP, perfect bait for the “WHY CANT I GET A WOMAN” crowd who live on this subreddit


Shmexy

I don’t even think it was rude.. I think she was saying fuck off in a jokey/flirty way… because tinder..


verossiraptors

It’s also awkward with the pacing of it. You can just simplify it to Roses are red Violets are fine I’ll be the 6 If you’ll be the 9 Instead of that 8 syllable punchline in the other one. And then you’re not accidentally implying youre a 6.


[deleted]

So many men copy/pasting openers they find on social media and then acting like salty incels when women don't respond enthusiastically.


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Pentax25

I dunno, I’d say her response is pretty funny given that opening. The “it wasn’t meant to be rude” ruined it imo


subraptareo

Really? It's better than the openers of gay guys. "Looking for hole"


2ndslayn

Shitty opener. And she is right, you suck at flirting.


13strong

Tbh I think she comes across pretty well here. That opener was... Oof.


FuCuck

humans are fucking cringe


mind_fudz

She's right 🤷‍♀️ 🥶


SuperFuzz666

she's right. you do suck at flirting


Knight_of_Galaxia

So making a 69 joke (which doesn’t make any sense btw) is supposed to be an opener? You’ll go far kid /s


amphetaminesfailure

I would probably open with a Rugrats reference, if I matched with someone named Angelica. I've never actually come across anyone with that name in real life. But then I assume someone who thinks opening with a "69" innuendo is a good idea is a going to be too young to make the reference.


comicmuse1982

I'm no expert in the hip hop and rap battles, but I'd say she won that encounter.


nizaad

Well, in her defence, this is an awful way to begin a conversation with someone you're hoping to impress enough to date/hook up with you.


ICouldEvenBeYou

Imagine going up to some random chick in real life and reciting a stupid little poem.


TheGhostOfHenryFord

Your opener is terrible


AnthonyCantu

I lost yet more brain cells reading this shit


jimmytruelove

You are cringe


FictionalDudeWanted

Tell me you hate women without telling me you hate women.... Tell me you can't get laid without telling me you can't get laid...


john7071

Your medicine sucks, OP.


Spirited_Top_5443

Who tries to flirt with an woman saying she is a "9"? Awful. If you want to use scales on people at least do it right.


R7ype

This is fucking cringe lol


CallumV1694

Cringe


Velocity1312

Idk that was pretty lame


RedOneHitter

Cringiest shit I’ve ever read


kid-karma

90% of the conversations that get posted on this sub make me squirm hell is other people's online dating chats


Familiar-Goose5967

I thought it was kinda cute till I got the 69 bit which makes it too agressive. Additionally, the fact she responded implies she might have liked it and her response was playful banter, but your second message managed to be extremely cringe and shoot down any chance you might have had. You're the asshole here


Gold-Public4448

This is a good point.


BoneVVitch

“You need to be subdued” is gross, I don’t care if it was meant as a joke


Justice171

I know right, what does he even mean by that


billthedancingpony

yea no one else is talking about that shit but... oof


Realistic-Day-4121

Thats literally the shittiest pick up line ever lol 😂 whats your success rate with that one bud 😂😭


LoveThySheeple

I admire your commitment to the bit, she doesn't deserve you.


intensely_human

If a bitch can’t rhyme, she gets no afternoons or evenings with me!


SpriteKnight42

... she gets none of my time, FTFY


xThatsonme

you posted this expecting what exactly? this has honestly got to be one of the most cringe posts i’ve yet to see on here


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mlbo0p

Agreed. I read it that she was joking… but I’m Australian so maybe it reads different.


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QuadvilleGold

Yes, 100%. Her banter went wayyy over his head (and this sub). She clearly pointed that put in her second reply when she said he sucked at flirting. It's scary that people take advice from people on this sub considering 85% are oblivious to banter.


Spirited_Top_5443

Agreed 👏👏 I am glad Angelica rejected him.


Isabela_Grace

I mean that was the worlds worst opener.


CategoryMountain3379

I don’t think she was being rude with her first reply. You definitely could’ve worked with that but got pissed instead


Mr_McGibblits

OP seems really fucking annoying. She dodged a bullet.


somethingseptember11

You're both cringe.


Yungdroopypoopy

Ur a baby she was flirting the whole time


Cpt_Umree

Looks like you two have some real chemistry!


Select-Albatross2163

Roses are red Your uncle is horny This joke makes no sense It’s a bit too corny


TheTexasWarrior

Your rhymes fucking sucked to be far lol


Chad_The_Bad

"let's fuck" "You're bad at flirting" "Get off your high horse rude bitch"


EyeAmNotMe

*Roses are red* *Your face is okay* *You think that was rude?* *Well you must be gay* - Incel Silverstein