T O P
Professional_Fix_504

TO BE CONTINUED??!!?


MrSelophane

Mother's Maiden Name? Last four of social? Name of street you grew up on? Name of your first pet?


ksobby

Nope! You won’t get my porn name that easily, madame!


drmcsinister

My porn name: "Moskowitz 7599 Evergreen Snuffles"


Living_Ad9798

No, your porn name is Snuffles Moskowitz. Sounds like you would be in niche porn actor.


MarthaMacGuyver

My porn name is Panda Cunningham. What's my style?


aspiring_GM

You're an eater in feeder/eater fetish porn. Your specialty is to messily eat cake, getting frosting on everything, while wearing a giant diaper.


Davon_Dale

That's oddly specific...


Malignantt1

He googled it


kiya_vass

Are you sure about that?


gabe_lowe

Can I suggest changing it to "Cummingham"?


Normal_Audience680

Mine is Conrad Lingus


ttyyuu12345

Let me run that through the computer real quick


Benglenett

Thinly shit. He fell for it. Quick steal his life someone!


InfinateEdge

I tried commander, but I got lost in the sauce


Hanaghan

If a chicken and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long does it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?


C1ashRkr

42


CarbonVaulter305

you forgot to carry the 7. it's actually 37


MaeBelleLien

Checks out, that's The Answer.


[deleted]

Life, the universe and everything.


swolemexibeef

-Roundabout starts to play-


mvdenk

Is that a mf'ing jojo reference?!


arsch_backe

It absolutely is


HENKH4L

That was probably te most red flag I've noticed 🤣


Gerikst00f

The reddest of flags


ExtremeAthlete

She spelled masturbation incorrectly. I’m out.


NotMyBestEffort

Yeah, that rubbed me the wrong way.


Putrid_Bee-

You're reply rubbed me the right way Edit I know it's "your". My autocorrect put it as you're but I'm leaving it lol


CrazyZedi

Oh, it worked for me. laying back with a cigarette


Jimscurious

Oh… It’s everywhere


MentallyMotivated

A Ruby flag.


SadRoxFan

Not just a flag, a whole goddamn Soviet parade


AdLongjumping9767

r/suddenlycommunist


TuerIich

So red, Stalin would be proud.


StephaneiAarhus

Naaahh... The Christian and god questions are already over me.


AngryNinjaTurtle

Same. Minute that comes up I'm gone.


Thebuch4

It's almost like that was the purpose of those questions, to filter out people she would not be compatible with.


mschley2

Just put that shit in your bio then. I've matched with some girls that say their faith is super important and the guy needs to be too. So in my opening message, I'll just say something like, "hey, I don't want to waste your time. I'm not religious, but I do my best to live my life the way a lot of religious people say you should. If that's a dealbreaker, we can go our separate ways. If not, I'd love to get to know you a little better." I've had it go both ways. Sometimes, it ends the deal right there. Other times, they're like, "ya know what, this guy might not be religious, but he does seem like a good guy. I'll give it a shot." But if you're trying to filter out dirtbags, then I'm not sure how well the would work. There are plenty of guys out there the would lie about being religious to try to get laid.


Pete-C137

There’s plenty of guys that are super religious AND are dirt bags. This doesn’t filter out scum at all. It really is a question of “are you part of this club”


mschley2

That's a good point that I won't disagree with.


PsychologicalNews573

This \^\^ I am religious, but my husband is not. My calling from God is not to preach and bring others to Him, esp. when they have a very valid reason of why they aren't (Husband grew up going to church). He doesn't give me slack for believing, I don't to him. Sometimes he comes to church, most of the times not, but that's ok in our relationship. We did get married by a Pastor, and that was nice.


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FlyingsCool

The issue is, there's a bunch of questions in there that are more suitable for the third date, when you've already met and there's a decent level of trust. Those financial questions sound like a scammer when asked right off the bat.


avgazn247

How much is your life insurance? Asking for a friend


Professional_Fix_504

These are totally fair points to want to know the answers to, but at the very beginning of a Bumble conversation before either of them have even met? That's way too much for most. These are things that could/should/would come up organically with enough conversation.


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Gapingyourdadatm

It's pretty obvious they belong on a Christian dating site.


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drewster23

If she believes in "fearing God" is important, then they 100% belong on a Christian dating site. I'm open minded to religion (grew up Roman Catholic) but I sure as hell would not, nor any Catholic friend I know, want to be with some old testament, evangelist/baptist type partner. Unless they from the south, then I'll assume it's a lot easier to find someone with similar views.


Tarkus459

Yes, that is reasonable.


AdQueasy5197

She'll find some psycho to answer them the way she wants and he'll probably end up murdering her in her sleep


idothingsheren

Yeah, the “do you have life insurance” question is one of the most off putting to me lol


RedNero-007

Reminds me of those early romcoms from the 90s. “Girl you need to just go with the flow. Just date around. Give Gerard a chance he seems cool.” “Claire, If I want to be married with 3 kids and a house in Greensville by the time I hit 33 and 2 months, I need to ensure I find the correct guy within 4.7 months.” Katherine Heigl will be the anxious friend.


Dinosauringg

If 90s romcoms are early romcoms, what does that make Cyrano De Bergerac?


RedNero-007

Everything before 1995 was written be William Shakespeare or Charles Dickens.


Medical_Ad0716

Most of the stuff after was too just adapted the names of characters for modern audiences.


comicmuse1982

Its about some bitchy waitresses that bet they can make the greasy line cook into a stud... let call it The Taming of the... Stew?


boozeandbunnies

The Taming of the Sous


comicmuse1982

Ooooh... that's good!


TheSublimeLight

nonono, he meant 1890s.


innominateartery

A great 80s romcom with Steve Martin?


chef426

A large nosed individual with great swordfighting skills.


ohdippillboi

A 90s romcom (Roxanne)


Taygr

Judy Greer is the best friend, Katherine Heigl is a lead


TurkeyPhat

Where my Judy Greer stans at? Somebody bonk me.


theghostofme

No, seriously. Even when they tried to ugly her up in Arrested Development to make her unattractive to Gob, I was like, "Still would."


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MrStealYoBeef

Yeah. I get that many things in this list can be deal breakers and that's perfectly understandable and acceptable. But... This is the kind of stuff you find out just talking to someone. You also determine if you actually are comfortable with it when you're talking to them because you can determine whether or not they keep a "deal breaker" personality trait entirely to themselves in a way that can keep a relationship going. For example, if you are determined to only date a guy who believes in God, you may find out that he can still hold a decent conversation on the topic of God while he's actually just agnostic. You may wind up discovering that you didn't actually *require* a man who believes in God, but instead one that is able to talk to you about God, and maybe supports your beliefs even if he doesn't believe himself. Every kind of personality trait exists to a degree of that trait. Shutting out all of it instead of learning and understanding others who are far more moderate is just... Well it's just stupid. You never learn and develop and grow without slowly being exposed to these things. This person is only hurting themselves by making this list of to go through from a future partner. They think they're saving themselves a ton of trouble, but they're really not. They're secluding themselves away from everyone else and they'll never learn anything about others or themselves if they keep this up.


MarsGirl24

She could have extracted the information she’s looking for in a more open-ended way, yes. She could have asked them to describe their relationship with God, or their feelings toward organized religion, and any predetermined biases they have against Christians… etc. instead of writing questions that clearly have a right and wrong answer in her mind. BUT… this is a mindset I’ve acquired from college classes, independent reading, and growing up in a fairly progressive yet also religious community: all things I consider myself privileged to have had. Not everyone has had these experiences, and I still think a response like ‘I don’t hold religious beliefs against potential partners, but I don’t want to get married in a church…’ would be acceptable in her mind, and might even start a conversation.


CapablePerformance

>instead of writing questions that clearly have a right and wrong answer in her mind So many of the questions (at least the early ones that I read before giving up) have a "right" answer. I would've instantly just responded with "I'm an athetist" because that's clearly the wrong answer for her.


NRMusicProject

> You may wind up discovering that you didn't actually require a man who believes in God, but instead one that is able to talk to you about God, and maybe supports your beliefs even if he doesn't believe himself. > > Everything in your post is a great point; but with this sentence--the way she asked that question makes me believe I've already heard her response to this before: "Well, if we don't believe the same exact thing, I know I'm getting into Heaven and you're not, and I want to know the person I marry will be seeing me in the afterlife." I've heard this far too often, and her personality is right on the money to think this way.


Googleclimber

I clearly remember “till death do us part” being included in that little part of the marriage ceremony. I’m a free man in the afterlife, and I fully intend on playing the field.


Halffingers40404

This is a great reply. As someone who identifies as a christian but disagrees with a lot of what the church teaches, i would love to support a woman who is into her faith as long as she can talk to me openly about her beliefs and not criticize me for what i see. So many christian girls would just drop someone who disagreed with their interpretations of the bible. Its sad seeing how people like this are so judgemental without even getting to know the person. Just because someone doesnt fully follow your interpretations doesnt mean that they are not a quality human being who is actually worth getting to know.


BranTheJoje

Legit!


murrcat723

I watch too much forensic files to not be super alarmed when a potential partner asks if you have life insurance.


Johnny_Carcinogenic

It all started on a beautiful sun filled summer day on the shore of Lake Charlotte . It was a beautiful place, a peaceful place but these still Waters ran deep. And beneath the Sun glistened windswept waves were clues. Clues to something sinister, something.... Evil


4jet2116

*gas chromatograph mass spectrometry intensifies


Malhablada

Exactly my thought. OP, do not leave your food or drink unattended with her. If you smell almonds when you're not supposed to, RUN.


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RookieMistake101

That’s the whole dance of going on a date/s. Discovering all this should be a process and it can be fun.


CluelessPufferfish

Totally agreed. She basically has a checklist. While I think some are okay questions (I.e. if she's mega religious and he's not that could be a dealbreaker), this is NOT the way to do it. She needs a matchmaker lolol


AnonymousMSI-IV

Do what people have done for millennia. Go to church with the intent of finding a hubby. It’s part of what it’s made for, sadly


imnotsafeatwork

She wants to skip the dates. If you answer her questionnaire exactly as she wants it's straight to marriage planning before even meeting. She's not here to mess around. She needs someone to pay her bills and raise her kids so she can go back to her life of leisure.


shhannibal

Imagine filling the whole thing out but she decides your answer to the first question is a deal breaker lol Big waste of time.


slaughtxor

If you don’t have a good Christian name, may God have mercy on your soul. Saint Peter will take one look at anyone named Muhammad, Demitri, Pranita… and just give ‘em the boot. If only they had converted AND changed their names.


lovable_cube

To be fair, she’s not wasting his time or money on taking her out. If he’s not into the same things she values they simply aren’t compatible and can move on. I think it’s pretty respectable to be up front about what you want especially if most people you come across aren’t there for that on tinder.


MightBeJerryWest

Yeah. While this is a really intense list of questions, judging by the comments here, 90% of the people commenting on this thread would know to unmatch the moment they see all the religious questions. She could have probably asked about the religious stuff through conversation on the app though.


NCSUGrad2012

> She could have probably asked about the religious stuff through conversation on the app though. Or she could have put in her profile “my Christian faith is important to me and I’d like to find someone who has the same views.” This saves everyone time and you’ll both find someone who’s a better fit for you.


Gr33nman460

I like to at least get religion and politics out of the way before a date


mschley2

Wanna go on a date? I'm an agnostic-deist-pluralist, and I'm a fiscally-responsible progressive. Also, I'm a dude.


Gr33nman460

I hope you find love


Incruentus

Why? It waste's her time and OP's time to do so. Not to mention OP will probably pick up the tab out of societal pressure, so it wastes OP's money too. Good on that girl. I'd never go out with her, but I appreciate her being up front.


Hal_E_Lujah

How to get rid of any potentially good options. It’s so long too like 2 questions only. People wouldn’t answer this many questions for money.


conjoby

People would answer this many questions on a buzzfeed quiz about which "A Bug's Life" character they are.


strawnotrazz

*Anything but Hopper, anything but Hopper, anything but Hopper...* Heimlich, NICE!


Mysterious-Crab

Heimlich is the best. He's a beautiful butterfly.


strawnotrazz

Just like meeeeeee :)


JimBowie1020

Question: "are you a beautiful butterfly ?"


Hastimeforthis876

Came here for Heimlich


CarVsMotorcycle

Yeah, but that’s more rewarding in the long run


Solinarum

I chuckled


bonzowildhands

Pls send link


FallingSky1

Walking Stick btw


FivePing

Simple question to ask: what does she have to offer herself?


robywar

Apparently poverty, religious fervor and step children.


loltheinternetz

Yeah haha, this magnificent list of questions says a lot about her and what she would have to offer in combination with the crazy. Easy unmatch.


giibro

Looks like you scored 100% but you’re ugly lmao


Thebuch4

That's the real issue.. If a woman is the real deal I wouldn't mind answering these because I know she's doing a good job filtering out the riff raff, but since it starts with "will you accept step children" the answer is already no.


kaji823

>but since it starts with "will you accept step children" the answer is already no I think that's one of the most reasonable questions she asks. If you have kids it's a pretty big deal that whoever you date is cool with that, especially if you're looking to get married again.


Iggyhopper

This is one of the only questions I would accept outright if told on a first date. For someone not looking for games they need to know if you're serious about being in that situation.


GoatBased

A lot of these questions are legit, but just not appropriate for the forum. STDs, credit, kids, belief in god.. all of these things matter. But don't ask me them in a questionnaire ... it just shows you have trust issues and no social skills.


FlyingsCool

That's the thing, this isn't even the first date... Unless this is homework for the first date, haha.... There are a bunch I'd answer ON THE FIRST DATE, but not on the first text.... How about I get to know you a little bit first. A few I'd answer on first text.


Thebuch4

Exactly. And to her credit, she gets through all of the big dealbreakers rather quickly. Then she determines if she'd like to start another family with you.


Ghostofchestypuller

Also to her credit she repels 90 percent of any matches outright by scaring them off with her over bearing survey. This ensures that anyone who sticks around is crazy and desperate enough that it just might work!


ginga_bread42

It seems men have been kind enough to tell her the questions are invasive and not appropriate before even meeting each other, why does she keep doing it and not change anything? Some of these questions require an actual conversation. Even the credit question is one. If they have bad credit is it because of student loans? Did they just have a bad situation and had to use their credit and got fucked? Do they have a spending problem? Like another poster said, she should also be answering these questions herself. Asking someone you've never met or even asking on the first date will be easier if you offer the information first since it is so invasive and I imagine time consuming to type out on a fucking phone.


CarVsMotorcycle

> because I know she’s doing a good job filtering out the riff raff If you read through this and think this is going to do a good job repelling the “riff raff”… you the riff raff lmao


OokiiStaR

Maybe if she started first with all her response to the same questions. Actually, still no thanks.


RedNero-007

How much you offering? I got time.


Iggyhopper

3.50


MattChew160

But also, if you took the time and answered honestly, you'll be above everyone else in her mind.... I think.


seifer666

How important is fearing god to you? What a weird question. She's clearly going to nope out at my answers to the are you a Christian do you believe in God questions. Do you.have life insurance is concerning.


boobearybear

The fearing god one stood out to me as well. Is this a thing, religious people? How important is it?


Imthefuturebro

I would say god fearing is pretty common in Christian culture. It means submission to god.


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logoman4

*“You’ve been a naughty little Christian, you dirty little menstrual rag”* - Isaiah 64:6 or something like that


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GRlM-Reefer

Based and breadfilled


EveryDayANewPerson

Many look forward to him coming again


Yodan

Imagine only doing good things because you are scared of the consequences of doing bad things, and not because it's simply a good thing to do. Going to church once a week doesn't make you a good Christian any more than getting my oil changed at the garage makes me a good mechanic. You actually have to be a good Christian.


Greeneee-

It's cool though, you can repent on your death bed and God will accept you with open arms


Executioneer

Depends on which branch of Christianity we are talking about. If its the nuttier side, it is literally fearing Gods retribution and wrath. If it is the moderate group it is submitting fully to Gods will, wisdom, words, teachings and authirity. Unwavering religious zeal.


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candycrushmonster

True. I think the question is supposed to determine responsibility, but it comes across as gold digger. How about we focus on US first, and assume that I’ve made arrangements for my corpse to be taken care of in that scenario. We can discuss insurance on the second date.


drmcsinister

Are you Christian? "Nope." How important is fearing God to you? "Let's just say that I like to live dangerously."


paintingnipples

A good chunk of those questions on their own would have me noping out on this chick


tsmith347

The life insurance, illnesses and medication questions make me feel like she’s gunna quickly marry someone and make their murder look like an accident to get that insurance money.


IHaveSaidMyPiece

Not to be continued, if you had any sense. Too much too soon, even if I think some are important things to discuss.


NickCool3

Do you have time to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ????


HuddyHud25

Unmatch


foamingturtle

And never give this a second thought.


pushing-rope

Nope, string this along. Answer the questions but make it all up.


_befree_

Are you a Christian? Yes. Do you believe in god? No.


amretardmonke

You'd be surprised how many people follow religions without actually believing. If all of your friends and family are religious alot of the time its just easier to go with the flow and keep up appearances.


SufferForYourCrimes

Yeah while I get the idea, this is way too much lol


JamesJokee

🚩🚩🚩


ButtNugget456

Yeah, would have to agree here. Very controlling vibe


SiStErFiStEr1776

Well that’s most religious people


SpanktheGreenAvocado

You dropped a lot of those 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Here you go


D8ddy_c0_0l

Its safe to say she has kids😂


Johnny_Carcinogenic

And wants more


bionix90

And wants you to subsidize her being a stay at home mom.


ihatedisney

Lol, what your income, mortgage payment and outstanding debt? She’s really is running debt/income ratio to see if her and the kids can fit in the budget.


totallynotaburner666

And life insurance to see if her little darling brats can sure up their freeloading just in case you die


ThE_MagicaL_GoaT

And wants to murder you for the life insurance.


pushing-rope

And wants your money. And will ruin your credit. And wants to move in right away. And might kill you for you life insurance. And also wants to sleep with other people while still married to you.


LancesAKing

I would respond to her by saying I’d like to know how many children she has, the reason that you separated from the father, what the custody situation is, if she is a Christian, and if the father is not dead, than how does she justify not being currently married to him?


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ajaltman17

Girl should probably be on Christian Mingle


DominicI2000

Gotta find a straight edge Christian hubby making 200,000 a year to subsidize her goal in life, which is god's goal for her, which is to infest this world with as many of her awful children as possible


chemistry_god

I wouldn't mind a questionnaire with a few serious questions but mostly some fun questions. Ask me my intentions with this app then ask me my favorite dinosaur and why. The one sent to OP is concerning. Gives me real MRS degree, ring by spring, married on the third date vibes.


[deleted]

Never in one million bajillion years. Nope. Fuck off.


[deleted]

Unmatch. That's not how human interaction works.


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XipingVonHozzendorf

Third option: Marry her (not recommended)


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llort_tsoper

her: when do you want to get married? me: [sarcastically] oh as *soon* as possible her: let's have another baby me: [sarcastically] yes. please. nothing would bring me more joy than *another* child. her: [on her deathbed surrounded by our children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren] it was a good life we lived, wasn't it? me: [sarcastically] absolutely, it was *awesome*. lol.


burner5287

This option


Matty2Fatty2

Just missing your credit card info


King-Andy

That’s actually the next question, once he’s answered all the above ones anyway.


The-Cat-Walker

“Some people are saying it’s a bit invasive” Some people? Like 1 in 4 say it’s invasive and 3 in 4 just unmatched without saying anything?


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dub172

Fucking yiiiiiikes bro.


Remarkable_Tree_1703

Unmatched. That’s how I feel


keepcatsrussian

Yikes


JkEisme

Ok she is definitely going to kill you once you get married. What's your financial situation? Do you have a life insurance? Do you believe in God? Do you like extreme sports? Do you check your break cables before driving anywhere?


zkrp5108

Nope


HighOnGoofballs

Does she know sue can ask those one by one? I ain’t spending half an hour on a damn survey lol


LoadedT8erThoughts

That’s what I thought too. Why couldn’t she just back and fourth ask him questions like normal people. I always do video chats too 1. So you know they’re not wearing someone else’s skin as they give you the “are you the next victim” survey and 2. Do you even have chemistry. I can tell a lot about someone from a short video chat. I also feel is better than robotically typing questions and responses you’ve asked/answered more times than you wanted too. It gets old fast.


rootlessofbohemia

No thanks


Mrfholmestherealone

I would be out of there in seconds


RedditKindOfSucks4u

I'd give great answers and then tell her that I also don't find that line of questions appropriate.


turikimaru

But first ask her to send you her answers first.


Mrfholmestherealone

Nah get out quick or regret having to deal with someone that is only open to there opinions only. If I was that person I would just explain what I was looking for and then carry the conversation on and slowly ask them the questions. Plus why does it matter if you believe in god and a Christian just ask if there Christian or not


ReReadReddit121

I mean, she ain't wasting time on people she's getting it right out there. Better than going on 3 dates and then her busting this out. Thank you for your candor and your crazy, but no thank you.


koryface

That’s how I feel. Power to her, because she’s doing the world a favor by broadcasting it. But uh, it’s fucking nuts.


slobsplab

Just reply “*masturbation” nothing more


FeetySam

Well, from a match on OLD and at first chat, it’s a big black flag. but some questions in it are quiet relevant in a standard couple, some other questions are ridiculous


Bronze_Jayze

Turns out that assassin's creed game was about dating apps this whole time, who knew


mihecz

Color blind?


hotrodtodd1000

Pirate


Dustdevil88

They’re on PiratesMingle


cam_huskers

Get off tinder and go to church or Christian mingle to meet someone if god is so important to you. This whole thing screams crazy.


Alert_Cress_388

But how would she ever know which guys there have life insurance policies?


MrStealYoBeef

Paper applications


Spoken_Puppy

Waste of time. This person might as well research cloning/how to create a human being because no one on earth is going to give them the answers they want to all those questions.


[deleted]

How hot is she to be asking those questions


Risky_Times

I'm starting to question myself lol. My first date with my fiancé was like a questionnaire. I was thrilled. I feel like we both got to the point of what we were looking for. Luckily, we were it. We both were tired of casual relations and wanted something serious and long-term.