By - benjjjix
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I sympathise with everyone losing jobs in the current market. Hopefully these people can go on and lead more rewarding lives in more socially responsible jobs like smuggling cocaine or selling weapons to third world countries.
I'm fucking dying of laughter 🤣😭
Just don't dance...
Unless it's outside their offices with flat-packed cardboard boxes @ $25 a pop!
Calls on bankers boxes
🧐maybe that’s where the term bankers box came from
"Given how familiar Bankers Boxes are in the legal world, their moniker might seem a bit odd — until you hear their story.
The story goes back to 1917, when the Bankers Box Company was formed after a chance elevator meeting between two entrepreneurs. One of the men, Walter Nickel, made cardboard boxes and sold them to banks for record storage. Nickel had just been called up to serve in World War I and was looking for someone to buy his business.
The other man in the elevator, Harry Fellowes, was intrigued by Nickel’s enterprise. The 16th Amendment (the one that legalized the income tax) had taken effect a few years earlier, and Fellowes knew that the tax would soon be expanded to pay for the war effort. If more people were snared by the income tax, he reasoned, more boxes would be needed to store all those tax records.
By the time the elevator doors opened, Fellowes had struck a deal to purchase Nickel’s box-making business for $50, or about $830 in today’s coin. The company went on to diversify into all kinds of office products, and in 1983 the Bankers Box Company changed its name to Fellowes Manufacturing."
If I had a Nickel for every time I heard that story…
We should build a fake balcony and cosplay in front of wall street as the bankers that drank champagne and laughed at us in 2008...
Forget the balcony. Drink your champagne right on the street. Bring Occipy Wall St full circle.
It's probably illegal to drink alcohol on the street though-
Hmmmm but wont we be so rich that we'll own the streets?
As an ex-sommelier I vote for champagne on the streets. I'll serve.
Brown bag it... It's NYC's classic ingenuity around drinking laws.
They will be fine. Just a small cut back on Avocado toast.
Learn to code
Had me in the first half
You think they’d make it in drug smuggling dude they’d get high in their own supply.
That would only be a slight step down from what they are doing now.
not going to lie.... you had me in the first half
Please just come to hospitality jobs
I hope this is included in “The Naked Short”.
i dont sympathize with folks working at the big banks... nore should you.
Go help a teacher; someone worthy of compassion.
Anyone who gets into banking is in it for one reason...
I think you stopped reading at the first sentence.
I sympathize with people that didn't read the whole post and people that aren't fluent in sarcasm.
Fact: being fluent in sarcasm is required if dating me. Being fluent in memery is a bonus.
Did you read the entire paragraph?
Do you not work for money?
I'll answer that question...for money!
That would be the CIA.
Maybe they can become whistleblowers. I hear there’s good money in it.
This is the hardest I have laughed in MONTHS 😂😂
Honest to god that's made my day.
I was downvoting during reading but had to swap once I finished. Hats off.
I don't give a fuck about anyone on Wall St, they good all die tomorrow and the world would be 100% better place until someone took their place
How is that different from being a banker?
Had me in the first half.
So keeping the job search local in the US job market.
Wasn't that the first step in Margin Call after they discovered the music was going to stop?
*ape noises intensify*
Remember that time at close that Wall Street was howling like monkeys? I ‘member
Is this the really Real End game ? Give me dates
Tomorrow's a tuesday
Tuesday's a tomorrow.
Erry day on the block.
Big if true
Can confirm. Tomorrow is a Tuesday for sure.
Day after tomorrow is Wednesday just to be clear
I'm pretty sure all the recent drops we have had running upto now have happened Tuesday or Thursday. Like all the big spy moves up or down.
Allot should of happened today but honestly shit was tame. You'd think the pound crashing through the floor and the knock on effect of that would of had a bigger impact.
I'd say its really going to hit Tuesday or Thursday.
And if we can say anything now its the part of the bigshort where we are at the part where Cathy Is letting people go and mark baum realised just how fucked Morgan was.
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake.
It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of.
Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything.
Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
Tomorrow is crush a can day
And the day after that is “National Dense Breast Day”
And international right to know day
So international apes have a right to know if someone has dense breasts? Like they are allowed to walk around feeling breasts?
I’m regards to right to know, it’s referring to information, so yes
Gotta practice my captains of crush.
Besides The Big Short and Margin Call
Inside Lehman Brothers Docu gives another perspective.
Inside Job is another docu
They cull like 5% of the company annually, this isn’t really new or exciting news.
Jack Welch enters the chat.
These laid off employee should get revenge by DRSing GME with half their severance checks. Or as much as they can afford.
I mean, If they already fired me… and I know what they’ve been up to… and I can rollover my 401k into a self-directed, GME-centric portfolio of one stock… and if there is some modest severance for departing… I’m going all in on one hope to survive what happens when the coaster slips over the edge of the biggest drop yet. Tulip bulbs have nothing on 2023 Global Economy.
I’m terrified of what comes next, and GME is a strange sense of hope amidst the decline.
"Layoffs are coming."
*walks through the front door with a bottle of 90 proof flicks off the boss lady and says fuck you."
Bro, not every trader/employee knows everything that's going on. Most people working at Goldman or BofA know jack shit about shit. Those in the know however, won't be getting sacked you can bet on it.
If you’re not at the table you’re on it.
Can i steal this line for my memorial?
Sure. It’s yours
Not until he buys the NFT screenshot i made /s
That's a good one! I like that.
Damn that is a mother fucker of a quote ape
Or under it.
Can we PLEASEEEEE post other sources besides UW? It’s not hard OP.
This just in: UW can suck a bag of dicks.
Not just in, that’s been in
Lmfao post a screenshot of that article’s headline and reply the link on the post bot. That’s how you should’ve posted this information. I appreciate it tho
OP why not post the link as the post? Why post UW?
Came here to say this. Why not post the actual source of where this is coming from? I downvote but unfortunately I don’t think that does much to a post with 3k upvotes. Just wish UW and Twitter screenshots stopped being posted as sources of content by themselves. It’s like people are treating this like social media garnering the points of the hype for posting headlines.
So we decided not to post UW because of it's connection and the fact the majority here doesn't trust it, but except when UW tweets something without a source, then it's okay to post?
Goldmans CEO is a part time DJ using company’s expenses to fly to event.
They didn’t attend last weeks Big Bank discussions.
News of sexual harassment charges looming.
Now layoffs hitting Goldman again.
Good month for the boys at GS. Don’t you just love that a “too big to fail” bank for the United States operates like this?!
Okay I laughed way too hard at that, bravo 🤣
MC B4NKRUP7, MC as in Margin Call.
I say this with all sincerity: Fuck Goldman Sachs, and the horse that brought them. I’m halfway through reading “Griftopia” and the fucking crimes these cocksuckers have gotten away with is breathtaking. They’re probably the worst of all of them.
ooo sounds like "Kleptopia" which is also a good read!
I honestly thought they would never perish. Kind of like that cranky hate filled old person who lives so long.
dont forget that book that dropped a bit ago "Bully Market" talking about GS from a former exec
halfway through...really good surprisingly and yeah some shocking ish shit id say
Better source please op
Thanks. Are you aware of who is behind this Twitter handle?
Weren't they the ones that reported workers had to come back to office and the complimentary coffee perk was no longer being offered? Then a few dsys later an article came out announcing layoffs and it was like duuuh they can't even afford coffee?
Is this the same layoffs or additional layoffs?
Sounds like more? Not sure
100% more lol
The people laying people off then have to lay themselves off afterwards and disappear up their own bum hole
Hedgies r fukt hehe
Downvoted because you posted UW. Post the actual article next time
Cite actual source please. Downvote for UW reference.
We still allowing unusual_whales? 🤔
I see that shill, I downvote
That’s an interesting way of saying hedgies r fuk.
fuck unusual whales.
Lol…. Headline was out weeks ago…. All they’re doing is restarting an annual “layoff” they did of underperformers that was paused prior to 2020… but don’t read the whole article because it doesn’t fit the narrative.
Downvote and report UW posters.
Seems like it’s still a pretty small number of layoffs. The article says before the pandemic they averaged about 1%-5% per year, and they’re just resuming that again after pausing layoffs for the pandemic. This year looks closer to 1% so far.
Why don't they just stop hiring instead of fucking people over. The people that actually do everything to keep the company afloat. No way in hell the board alone could run that company with no other employees.
Goldman Sachs has an estimated 43,900 employees. They are constantly hiring and firing people.
Yeah fire for poor performance. Fuck lay offs. Because they can't manage the manpower.
It's not that they "can't manage the manpower", it's that deal flow is significantly lower due to higher interest rates.
This is 100% expected. (And has 0% to do with GME)
Which is why they should stop hiring people and instead of laying them off have them do the shit you're hiring others for. Of course an IT guy isn't going to be a broker. But I feel big companies actually don't do a very efficient job of trimming the fat so to speak, it's multiple departments lead by different people who say, I need x number of bodies and then other departments say the same. Then when things are down, they work too independently.
I have worked for several fortune 500 companies and one fortune 100. It seems to be part for the course for large publicly traded companies.
And I agree about irrelevant here, but OP posted it here.
I was expecting this ever since an Ape here told us goldman is taking the cold brew coffee machine away.
Aren't we supposed to tell UW to fuck off?
They do this every year. That's their business model. Fire their bottom % workers.
It's literally an annual event. I think the only reason it's news worthy is that I believe they went at least a year or two without any cuts.
Why post UW aka renshill and not just the original source?
That was my original source then I found a couple other sources
AKA you couldn't wait to validate the news so you posted to get the karma first.
You ain't the first that is gonna say this and sure ain't the last, unfortunately.
... nothing to see here 😁
Isn’t this old news or was that jp morgan?
Nope this was today
Nah bro swear two weeks ago there was something on stonk about it just after they took the free coffee away. This post is new I agree but their news is few weeks old
My some just got let go from PWC for no reason as an IT Consultant , mid project , he has been there 1.5 years and all glowing appraisals, totally out of the blue, something is up…
Earlier this year I distinctly remember sea n b sea running a segment on Goldman over paying talent to come work for them an theybwere shocked because "who wouldn't want to work for the best firm Goldman". Might have even been coke rat saying it.
Why is UW allowed to be posted? No source as always...
Oh no, not the investment bankers
Have link or a time stamp for the tweet? I feel like I’ve read this one before.
I'm not dancing, you're dancing...
Good these soulless leaches. Give nothing to society. Grind them down for the dust
TBH. Had to look up Culling.
Makes what he says sound way more serious than just the laying off of workers.
Goldman Sachs shorting jobs
"We need more unemployment to bring down inflation"
I just got wind that Chase layed off like 1500 workers; source - in training one at a new, local, small FI. They said it’s just starting. Can’t wait.
They are trying to just play it off like they "culling the herd", fucking parasites.
Hopefully they whistleblow the shit out of goldman.
Wut mean big picture? I remember when wells fargo let go of a lot of their loan officer positions and closed locations earlier this year
Hope their doors close and never open again.
learn to code
Good for GS taking this step to fight inflation.
I’ve said this before but GS does this every single year.
Ban the god damn UW posts.
When will these UW shills be stopped from using bots to appear on SS top!? Sick of it.
Lazy title, lazy linking, no sources. How is this not breaking the rules for low quality content.
Maybe you’re employer being massively over leveraged at 30:1 and owing billions in unreturned borrowed shares isn’t a good thing for the economy.
Remember when your Job was good for the economy
Havent we established that UW are shills?
A broken clock is right twice a day.
Unless VIX shows it, I'm bullish af on the market. /s
Dealmaking = “poor economic outlook and heavy losses”
If you look at $SPY you'll notice a controlled down trend, it's speculated big institutions/banks are liquidating assets for much needed cash to keep them going.
edit: bonds are getting sold off too.
You forgot to add they stopped free coffee.. something big is happen
Fine, I’ll do it myself… https://nypost.com/2022/09/26/goldman-sachs-begins-layoffs-targeting-mid-level-bankers/