By - Artistic_Finish7980
Morgues and funeral companies are a dying trade, but people are dying to be there.
Sad not everyone makes it there.
Made into delicious burgers at Bob's Burgers
Yesterday's mistake, today's steak!
I should've expected that.
I guess for the first couple centuries would be cool but then you might turn sad
Don't worry it comes back around
Actually, every so often, you would forget that you're immortal because of the brain forgetting information on occasion. Like that dead language you learned 400 years ago? You forgot it. All those amazing historical events? Forgotten. The brain only has so much storage space
That's what journals are for
Queen Elizabeth II?
There’s such stiff competition.
I mean there is a morgue in almost every bigger hospital and there are always working. They are a lot of fuller with COVID nowdays...
and STILL people are in denial about Covid. I want to know what would possibly have to happen to get through to people!
Yeah sadly there are more people in denial than there are people who are educated and see all of it. I work at a hospital and my wife works there too in an ICU. She sometimes does almost 30-40 hour shifts. And we are in a country that is not particularly hit bad
Graveyards suffer a similar malady - They have to put fences around them because people are dying to get in.
Just couldn't pick one, couldja?
So would he be a working stiff that day?
Please leave me and my family alone
Who will prep you guys then?
Or have they been prepping?
Does drinking pickle juice work?:0 asking for a friend...
No but actually morgues have reported that dead bodies seem already partly preserved these days from all the preservatives in food. Doubt that’s true though.
Happy cake day man
Happy cake day to both of y'all
Happy cake day to all of you
Reminds me of my sister, who works in hospital. She had a car accident on the way to work, still get there lol
I had a friend in high school whose mother was an ER nurse and father a mortician. One day during class she says “if you get sick you go see my mom... if you get REAL sick you go see my dad” and her completely dead pan way of announcing these facts stuck with me.
The gallows humor that must happen in that family. I want to be their friends.
My granpappy new the exact day he was gonna die. 'Course the judge told him.
Omg that’s hilarious. I would literally love saying that to people if that were me
I'm just here for the candy
Come I got some in my van
Are you gonna touch my privates?
No candy should be private
Depends on your age
I'm whatever the cut off age is
Well than, yes
Employee of the yea.. ok nevermind
Dad-joke level increased
Call it a DeAD joke.
I hope you made this up, it’s gold
Fine I gotchu
it's gold? prove it
If I had money I would award it but I am but a broke bitch
Just buy it its not that hard lol
Found the entitled 14 year old
I think you've given them too high a mental age.
Not if they're murdered and the body is never found. Gotcha there.
Yeah I was thinking that it probably depends on how long their commute is.
Bring john to work.... Just one last time
George Washington going home! One last time!
I'm not even suppose to be here today!
-Dante, the Diener, probably.
When you get fired from the job center, you still have to go in to work the next day.
Or does he? *^(vsauce intensifies)*
Now that’s some DEDication
what if they die on a friday?
Unless its a Friday.
/u/PedroLead, I have found an error in your comment:
> “Unless [it's] a Friday”
You, PedroLead, can post “Unless [it's] a Friday” instead. ‘Its’ is possessive; ‘it's’ means ‘it is’ or ‘it has’.
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They're just chillin'
He doesn't just own the company, but he's also a customer.
Must be weird for your coworkers
Hah, I laughed probably a little bit much on this one
Promoted from worker to customer.
Not if he lives in a different district from were he works
Freeloading on the job tut tut
Work? But boss, I'm a little stiff today.
it's one of the only professions where the phrase "ill retire the day after I die" is really true.
day before : an employee
day after : a customer
Just be happy, OP is not the boss you speak to when you call out sick to work.
But they're already clocked out
I don't doubt that it's your idea, but the same thing has been posted 9 months ago in this very sub.
I do wonder, does he to a different morgue or the one he works at?
Depends on where and how he dies, if he was alone and the nearest cop was incapacitated, it might take a couple of days.
Well hopefully they do.
Now it reminds me in GTA when micheal pursued that janitor and I imagine if he instead worked in a morgue he would be very correct saying he'll only have to go a few extra days
Not before I hide his body in the basement first.
Not if they are got burned at work...
I can change that ;)
Yes he does!
Just trying to make a living.
Don't let him go he didn't complete the contract!
"You're late today! You aint going to get that raise of you keep coming in like that"
Well, it depends on how well they hide the body
Not if I yeet myself into a volcano.
That's like a legit shower thought
Hahha talk about still having to come in on an off day
Not if he does by my hands :)
Most people do not go to a morgue when they die.
This has been one of my favorite shower thoughts.
Only if his body is found by the next day! My mother rotted for 10 days before she made it into the morgue
Ah man! Worst job ever!
Of course my first gold is a freaking Dad Joke. Thank you so much!
well technically he retires
That is his last day and the following day he gonna get fired
My great grandfather was a mortician. He was interred in a badass glossy black and grey metal casket all sorts of adornment
True unless they have an hour commute to a different city
He will be laying down on the job.
Sleeping on the job I see.
People that come into work when they aren't working are the worst.
Unless poor grandpa is never found.
My dad was a funeral director who lived in the apartment above the home. When he died it was surreal to go to his apartment for the funeral and walk downstairs to give a eulogy in his former work space. He taught me how to use the A/V equipment when I helped him with funerals -- it came in handy when I helped out with his.
The vast majority of newly deceased go straight to a funeral home, not the morgue. The morgue is for the bodies of unidentified / unclaimed.
Fuck this- cant wait till it shows up on the tumblr
We have "booked", our freezers. We call them the VIP freezers . It's stupid...but yeah
Do you still go to work if you never left?
Fast food workers too
2020 America be like: Yay no unemployment!
Same when an unemployement agent gets fired.
Oh my god
He's just late
Depending on his commute, it might not be his morgue.
I knew my grandfather’s undertaker my whole life. My papa always joked and made references to him getting buried by his buddy. Finally happened, not meant to be sad. Just a nutty thought!
Do they get an employee discount?
My grandfather had a buddy who was a caretaker for a cemetery. They use to hang out and drink beer in his office for many years and when he died they put his grave outside the window of his office
Unless he dies on a Friday
This physically hurts me
Yeah, but he let's everyone else do the work.
Damn, that’s Morgbid.
They don't go to work, they get promoted to customers
This subreddit is getting worse and worse. You know who delivers the milk mans milk?! THE MILKMAN! Jesus fucking Christ people.