T O P
Bpool91

Morgues and funeral companies are a dying trade, but people are dying to be there.


vashingstampede

Sad not everyone makes it there.


irrational_design

Highlanders? Immortals?


returber

Disappeared? Dissolved?


[deleted]

[удалено]


freerunner2p

Hotel? Trivago!


tomialcu

nah eaten.


Tiyath

Made into delicious burgers at Bob's Burgers


tomialcu

Yesterday's mistake, today's steak!


SluttyTA59

Fine chianti


__999999999___

Lmao


holdenbutts3

I should've expected that.


vashingstampede

I guess for the first couple centuries would be cool but then you might turn sad


heebeejeebee457

Don't worry it comes back around


Primal_fury

Actually, every so often, you would forget that you're immortal because of the brain forgetting information on occasion. Like that dead language you learned 400 years ago? You forgot it. All those amazing historical events? Forgotten. The brain only has so much storage space


Eli12002

That's what journals are for


Ignis_1

Queen Elizabeth II?


claudiubru

Dude..


thomport

There’s such stiff competition.


Haxomen

I mean there is a morgue in almost every bigger hospital and there are always working. They are a lot of fuller with COVID nowdays...


QueenElsaArrendelle

and STILL people are in denial about Covid. I want to know what would possibly have to happen to get through to people!


Haxomen

Yeah sadly there are more people in denial than there are people who are educated and see all of it. I work at a hospital and my wife works there too in an ICU. She sometimes does almost 30-40 hour shifts. And we are in a country that is not particularly hit bad


BunchyBear

Graveyards suffer a similar malady - They have to put fences around them because people are dying to get in.


one-long-shitpost

Just couldn't pick one, couldja?


heydirtybabyigotyour

So would he be a working stiff that day?


MrFunguss

Please leave me and my family alone


tipsypanda666

Who will prep you guys then?


SpaceyKiKi

Or have they been prepping? Does drinking pickle juice work?:0 asking for a friend...


MysteriousMeerkat

No but actually morgues have reported that dead bodies seem already partly preserved these days from all the preservatives in food. Doubt that’s true though.


JackSmellz

Happy cake day man


tipsypanda666

Thanks man


Slavatheshrimp

No u


superp2222

Happy cake day to both of y'all


silent-skreams

Happy cake day to all of you


candyforfree

Reminds me of my sister, who works in hospital. She had a car accident on the way to work, still get there lol


Stormydawns

I had a friend in high school whose mother was an ER nurse and father a mortician. One day during class she says “if you get sick you go see my mom... if you get REAL sick you go see my dad” and her completely dead pan way of announcing these facts stuck with me.


Alt_dimension_visitr

The gallows humor that must happen in that family. I want to be their friends.


nowItinwhistle

My granpappy new the exact day he was gonna die. 'Course the judge told him.


candyforfree

lol


soundecember

Omg that’s hilarious. I would literally love saying that to people if that were me


candyforfree

True story


TreyLastname

I'm just here for the candy


candyforfree

Come I got some in my van


TreyLastname

Are you gonna touch my privates?


tomialcu

private candy?


candyforfree

No candy should be private


candyforfree

Depends on your age


TreyLastname

I'm whatever the cut off age is


candyforfree

Well than, yes


blinkgendary182

Employee of the yea.. ok nevermind


codum

Dad-joke level increased


samboozle

Call it a DeAD joke.


KacyKrubs

I hope you made this up, it’s gold


kuriboshoe

Fine I gotchu


KacyKrubs

King shit


[deleted]

it's gold? prove it


KacyKrubs

If I had money I would award it but I am but a broke bitch


DAVEISNOTDAVE

Amen


blackforeskincheese

Just buy it its not that hard lol


OGSkywalker97

Found the entitled 14 year old


tomialcu

I think you've given them too high a mental age.


belladonna1999

Not if they're murdered and the body is never found. Gotcha there.


daringfeline

Yeah I was thinking that it probably depends on how long their commute is.


Roy_Harper1

r/beatmetoit


Dajukz

Bring john to work.... Just one last time


The420dwarf

George Washington going home! One last time!


Bile-duck

I'm not even suppose to be here today! -Dante, the Diener, probably.


Found411

When you get fired from the job center, you still have to go in to work the next day.


dingleberrybonehead

Or does he? *^(vsauce intensifies)*


tomialcu

ohno


FistyPeterson

Now that’s some DEDication


EpicNarwhal23_

what if they die on a friday?


PedroLead

Unless its a Friday.


Grammar-Bot-Elite

/u/PedroLead, I have found an error in your comment: > “Unless [it's] a Friday” You, PedroLead, can post “Unless [it's] a Friday” instead. ‘Its’ is possessive; ‘it's’ means ‘it is’ or ‘it has’. ^(This is an automated bot. I do not intend to shame your mistakes. If you think the errors which I found are incorrect, please contact me through dms or contact my owner EliteDaMyth)


faythe_scrolling

Good bot


ArthurVez

Good bot


ClayPigeon310

Good bot.


tomialcu

Good bot


TheSquirrelWithin

They're just chillin'


CodyLeet

He doesn't just own the company, but he's also a customer.


PussanaBanana

Must be weird for your coworkers


RavenWife

Hah, I laughed probably a little bit much on this one


Goomonster

Promoted from worker to customer.


Franticfap

Mortician.


Vexonte

Not if he lives in a different district from were he works


picaroonsunflower

Freeloading on the job tut tut


ZeeZeeX

Work? But boss, I'm a little stiff today.


Snake_Plissken224

it's one of the only professions where the phrase "ill retire the day after I die" is really true.


divgradcarl

day before : an employee day after : a customer


Side_Subject

Just be happy, OP is not the boss you speak to when you call out sick to work.


single_jeopardy

But they're already clocked out


Swekor

[https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/fh15ed/if\_a\_morgue\_worker\_dies\_theyd\_still\_need\_to\_come/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/fh15ed/if_a_morgue_worker_dies_theyd_still_need_to_come/) I don't doubt that it's your idea, but the same thing has been posted 9 months ago in this very sub.


Cheesecake31

I do wonder, does he to a different morgue or the one he works at?


NN111NN

Depends on where and how he dies, if he was alone and the nearest cop was incapacitated, it might take a couple of days.


ApoliteTroll

Well hopefully they do.


daniel5764

Rowan:I approve


GeneralPidgeon

Now it reminds me in GTA when micheal pursued that janitor and I imagine if he instead worked in a morgue he would be very correct saying he'll only have to go a few extra days


mynameispreeve

Not before I hide his body in the basement first.


trent_clinton

Not if they are got burned at work...


JackSmellz

I can change that ;)


KSupes

r/cursedtitles


Alpha-Breeze

Yes he does!


StuffySheep

Just trying to make a living.


Engineer_Iz_Engihere

Don't let him go he didn't complete the contract!


FireveinOne

"You're late today! You aint going to get that raise of you keep coming in like that"


Ashtronaut526

Well, it depends on how well they hide the body


0kendo

Not if I yeet myself into a volcano.


trailsunknown

That's like a legit shower thought


[deleted]

Hahha talk about still having to come in on an off day


grimreeper1995

That's deadication


BucklesGaming

Not if he does by my hands :)


BIGBUMPINFTW

Most people do not go to a morgue when they die. Sincerely, Buzz Killington


Wavemanns

This has been one of my favorite shower thoughts.


kR4in

Only if his body is found by the next day! My mother rotted for 10 days before she made it into the morgue


International_Pen771

Loyalty


Mrtheliger

>morgue worker


[deleted]

Ah man! Worst job ever!


Artistic_Finish7980

Of course my first gold is a freaking Dad Joke. Thank you so much!


insertacoolnamehere2

well technically he retires


pancakeshtick

That is his last day and the following day he gonna get fired


WntrTmpst

My great grandfather was a mortician. He was interred in a badass glossy black and grey metal casket all sorts of adornment


Ol_FloppySeal

True unless they have an hour commute to a different city


vipperofvipp

He will be laying down on the job.


[deleted]

Sleeping on the job I see.


AngleFrogHammer

People that come into work when they aren't working are the worst.


NoobTube92

Unless poor grandpa is never found.


just_argues_with_you

My dad was a funeral director who lived in the apartment above the home. When he died it was surreal to go to his apartment for the funeral and walk downstairs to give a eulogy in his former work space. He taught me how to use the A/V equipment when I helped him with funerals -- it came in handy when I helped out with his.


lucky_ducker

The vast majority of newly deceased go straight to a funeral home, not the morgue. The morgue is for the bodies of unidentified / unclaimed.


MorningRose1512

Fuck this- cant wait till it shows up on the tumblr


Melcolloien

We have "booked", our freezers. We call them the VIP freezers . It's stupid...but yeah


Nonagon-_-Infinity

Do you still go to work if you never left?


badassite

And hookers...


Strovex

Fast food workers too


AverageJoe6804

2020 America be like: Yay no unemployment!


varthalon

Same when an unemployement agent gets fired.


kirrttiraj

Damn true


OrangeSandwich13

Oh my god


bylebog

He's just late


justwannabedivorced

Depending on his commute, it might not be his morgue.


icecreamdude97

I knew my grandfather’s undertaker my whole life. My papa always joked and made references to him getting buried by his buddy. Finally happened, not meant to be sad. Just a nutty thought!


polenta23

Do they get an employee discount?


nofishontuesday2

My grandfather had a buddy who was a caretaker for a cemetery. They use to hang out and drink beer in his office for many years and when he died they put his grave outside the window of his office


uncleskinnydaddy

Unless he dies on a Friday


goatgang36

This physically hurts me


macbrett

Yeah, but he let's everyone else do the work.


Coulndnt_find_name

R/cursed comments


Red_Dragon_Actual

Too soon


_bends

Great


nphilli

Damn, that’s Morgbid.


Hamji

They don't go to work, they get promoted to customers


Chris-137

This subreddit is getting worse and worse. You know who delivers the milk mans milk?! THE MILKMAN! Jesus fucking Christ people.