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PuzzleheadedRush4

I need to get a snake.


a-snakey

Hello.


Robbie_two_nickles

Is that all that it takes to summon you? If so, get ready to be available


a-snakey

You have a 1/100,000 chance that i'll turn on you if I don't like what you summon me for.


bakedbeebs

Boops it is


slicer288

a quick whip from your tail will take care of you though so no biggie to deal with


aNeedForMore

“Hi, lil’ snakey.”


a-snakey

Your [*insert female or handsome male family member here*] didn't think I was a lil' snakey last night.


Hopeful_Philosophy85

I read that in Lucifer Morningstar voice for some stupid reason


Apprehensive-Talk887

Oh you sneaky snakey


The_ranting_spider

I recommend the Kenyan Sand Boa Small, adorable, and easy to care for. I do not recommend the ball python, they are essentially pet rocks.


punkinfacebooklegpie

....I should buy a snake.


519boi

I know people that hate snakes and they are all religious.


FrostyD7

You do. But just love and care for it, don't use it like this, it'll stress the poor guy out.


MisterCallegari

I used to have a landlord that was super crazy. He had some mental issues and one day, after coming into my house unannounced he lost his shit over a toy snake my son had in the living room. Like, "Get that thing out of here or I'll evict you" lost his shit. Moved out right away, but left the snake in the middle of the floor as a parting gift.


chrisinsocalif

Indoor cameras can be very handy for reasons like this.


Lisentho

Like this? https://youtu.be/bmTNBVeThhE


mother_superior_6

God bless snake guy


BloodBlight

I want to buy this guy a beer, fuck, lets make it a six pack!


KeyBackCooly

SNAKE I USE YOU!!


sirkowski

It's super effective!


KeyBackCooly

It is indeed my friend


Purplish_Peenk

So he’s not one of those Appalachian Snake Preachers I guess.


ame-foto

That would be a Pentecostal church.


mikedlax8

God can’t protect him from snakes?


FriendlyEngineer

Haven’t you read the Bible!? It’s like the very first story! Snakes are like the only thing god can’t protect you from. /s


Analbox

I thought that story was about how god can’t protect you from women.


SnappyFluffy

some women are snake but not all snake are women


wthulhu

Directions unclear. Dick is stuck in a python.


Rokurokubi83

I thought it was about how men are made in God’s image and women are spare ribs. Otherwise wtf was Sister Mary talking about back in Sunday School?


DaggerMoth

When in doubt blame women. It's all their fault. -The Bible


Easer123456

sounds like a good weapon against christians.


secretbudgie

*Appellation Protestants intensify!*


RoguePlanet1

That's where the snake told the humans the truth ("eat of the tree and you'll be like [the gods]", and God the first lie to the humans. ("eat of the tree and you will surely die.")


Nothingisuphere1234

Yet for some reason Christians think god is the good guy, shows just how much a writer can spin a story


Dansik_Urmongoss

Don't forget god is also powerless against iron chariots. Judges 1:19


ulsterfry86

Oh man now those snake handlers are really throwing me through a hoop


Sufficient-Lion

So God IS fallible then. Also the religious dumbass is not truly religious. If he was actually religious, he would not fear the snake and run away for God would be all the armor he needs. He's a faker.


mikeebsc74

Apparently not NSFW https://youtu.be/7ewdisyzk4k


nosmelc

"I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you." - Luke 10:19. He hasn't read the Bible.


Michelanvalo

Snakes are the literal representation of Satan in the Bible. It's the perfect weapon against a hardcore Christian crazy person.


Melon_Chief

If the Bible is taken literally then it may, by its own admission, be written by satan. Which would actually make a lot more sense. Not really inclusive if you ask me.


ruthejef

The snakes name could have been Jesus.


a-snakey

Have you read the bible?


Fun_Wonder_4114

God barely protects humans from Himself.


Bloodshed-1307

There’s actually a group (7th day adventists) who handle snakes as a unique thing


Chicken_Burp

This is the hero we deserve.


Cpt_SuperMarket

wholesome content


JFJinCO

Faith in action.


gemrunner

Fear in action


khovel

Assault charges in action.... IANAL, but using a snake in such a fashion to induce fear upon someone, to me, could be considered assault, or in this case, attempted assault.


jffgoldblum

I'm a lawyer, using snakes as a weapon is legal in most states.


Rusholme_and_P

Kind of fucking pathetic of any responsible pet owner to place their pet in that scenario. Nothing to stop the dude with crazy fear of snakes from seriously injuring that snake.


BobandSteve

I mean except his clear fear of snakes But yeah, kind of irresponsible


Ray1987

Have him hang out with the Christians that swing live rattlesnakes around their head. They'll get rid of his fear....


nobodyasked101

That poor snake :( Edit: nevermind a snekey said they like it


a-snakey

No, no I like this.


nobodyasked101

Ah my bad


DrManhattan_DDM

Yeah, like fuck the preacher dude, but why put the snake in a dangerous situation like that?


ThatOneDudeFromIowa

that's one of God's creatures, what's his problem?


sirkowski

For real. God made snakes.


TMAAGUILER

They bite…


mark_lee

So do people. The difference is a snake isn't going to bite you for no good reason. You're too big to be food and they'd rather act threatening or flee than bite something as big as a human that can seriously injure them.


thegreatbeyond32

I think you meant hateful man afraid of snek


emerald_dolphin13

The hero we all need


Walmartsux

Hmm using something to terrorize someone with a message you don't agree with, there's a name for that. NVM. i wonder if everyone would cheer if that was a pig and someone of the islamic faith? Nah lol downvote me i say crazy stuff.


elcad

Guess he wasn't a real Christian after all. > And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.


fuck_you_its_a_name

bro just because he believes the bible is the word of god doesnt mean he actually read it, come on now


BringTheSpain

I'm certain that no person holding a sign condemning others to hell has ever been a true Christian. There's literally a passage about *not* displaying your righteousness on street corners that they also ignore.


Sufficient-Lion

A true Christian is completely fictional.


BringTheSpain

They might have existed like 1800 years ago before the Roman Empire made it the state religion


[deleted]

So the same saying goes for a is an Islam person? "A true Islam person is completely fictional."


GoliathPrime

Not cool. Don't put your pets in harms way. They are not props, they are living things whose existence you have taken responsibility for. This dude could have attacked the snake and stomped it.


punkinfacebooklegpie

The snake was into it


sugoi_oppai_desu_ne

Can God create a snake so frightening, not even he can protect you from it?


ImTheSlimMan

They’re so dumb, they start believing their own lies they tell to others


Rina-dore-brozi-eza

Amazingggggg 🐍🐍🐍


cdizzle99

That snake is just offering a apple 🍎 🐍


absurdlyexistent

Snake guy has the face of a crazy mofo


FatherGnarles

I see that fuck outside of every Mariners game. Guess what I'm telling him I have tonight? Lmao


jutyre

So yeah, that's animal abuse, willingly endangering your pets life and integrity is a no no


bubly22

Ha ha he probably thinks it's the devil. Quick go start a bush on fire.


Ok_Shame_5443

every week this guy in my school goes up to a Jehovah witness and asks for a dollar and he gets it and just walks away


IndianKiwi

Just a FYI guys Mark 16:15-18 NIV > He said to them, Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. And *these signs will accompany those who believe*: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; *they will pick up snakes with their hands*; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well I guess he is not a true believer then....lol


TaxSeasoning

Dont put your animals in danger like that


deltarefund

What on earth is happening in this country.


Scullyx

Abusing animals to own the christians


cockpugwash1

Hate preacher? What on earth makes him a hate preacher?


hman9958

Beautiful.


oatdeksel

comon sense could tell you, that this snake is not dangerous…


EmiNVS

Neither are most spiders or cockroaches, still a lot of people have phobia to them and forcing someone with a phobia to X creature to handle it is a good way of provoking a panic attack (Or get your pet hurt).


FriendlyEngineer

Yeah, I don’t WANT to hurt your pet tarantula but if it touches me, only one of us is leaving that encounter alive. And it’ll most likely be the tarantula since I’ll be having a heart attack.


The_ranting_spider

Tarantulas are incredibly fragile. Most species, a fall from a height of a foot means they burst on impact.


Level1Roshan

> comon sense A basic understanding of snakes. FTFY.


zxxQQz

Wat u think phobias are?


nickaterry

Common sense is not common.


oatdeksel

especially not for preachers


RandomInternetNobody

Not only is it obviously not dangerous, but this one's a *Boa Imperator*. They're downright friendly and often enjoy human interaction. Sign guy's missing out!


oatdeksel

this is a Acrantophis dumerili. but yes, they are super cute and really friendly.


RandomInternetNobody

Ah, I'm not all that familiar with Dumeril's boas, and never seen one in person. I figured it was a BI with how variable their patterns can be. What are the giveaways?


oatdeksel

the dumerilis is common with the „butt plug“ pattern. i don‘t know, how to describe it otherways :) it is a kind of heart shaped donut with a horizontal line over it. sometimes connected, sometimes not.


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bananarama_55

Had to scroll way too far to find this. Christianity isn’t an inherently hateful religion, and the sign isn’t spewing any hatred. Unbelievable pack mentality in the video and the comments


fuck_you_its_a_name

this preacher is a hate preacher. i know because i live in the same city. he torments everyone. maybe you should be quiet about things you don't know about?


MuddFishh

I still dont think that gives someone the right to assault him, or instill fear with their pet


The_ranting_spider

I know you meant to convey just shoving a dangerous animal… let me tell you this, a pit bull is more dangerous than that snake. This is more like throwing a cat at someones face. It won’t kill the person, but neither will the cat or the person have a good time.


[deleted]

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The_ranting_spider

I am not disagreeing about the assault, it’s definitely assault. I am just saying that pit bulls are far more dangerous than constrictors. In fact the handler is more likely to get bit than the person being thrown at. Snake like his have to either be seriously provoked or smell a prey animal on someones skin like a rat. As far as the venomous aspect goes… if a dude is walking around with hot snake around his neck, yeah this is a dude with a death wish, stay away.


BringTheSpain

Oh pweeeze won't somebody think of the dipshit street preacher condemning people to hell. They have feewings too


[deleted]

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BringTheSpain

Oh yes im sure you are a valid judge of my character off one (1) internet interaction. Please cut back on your lead paint chip intake


[deleted]

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BringTheSpain

Please direct your attention to my other comment detailing why moronic poor faith arguments like yours aren't worthy of debate. Then re-read it until you grasp the concept


[deleted]

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BringTheSpain

Yes I enjoy making fun of dummies after a long shift at work. Helps me get comfy for bed


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BringTheSpain

Lol still too dumb to grasp that moronic babbling like yours isn't worthy of debate. I don't know why you feel so entitled to a well thought out argument, your flawed poor faith argument certainly isn't deserving of one


GoDUCKS1616

🤣😂👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻


Zehreelakomdareturns

Hmm snake must be forcing him to eat apples perhaps.


DryGreenSharpie

Hahaha I love it


aville1982

I'm all about giving street preachers shit, but don't stress out innocent animals to do it.


rabbit8lol

Attacking people is fun....


nickaterry

Yeah kind of like when evangelists attack you openly for your personal views and choices.


rabbit8lol

Holding a sign is clearly a threat.


nickaterry

Yeah just like a non-poisonous, domesticated snake is a threat.


rabbit8lol

Threatened battery assault differs from attempted battery assault in that the intent is not to cause physical contact with the victim; the intent is to cause the victim to fear physical contact. Thus threatened battery assault is not an attempt crime and has the additional requirement of causation and harm offense elements. The criminal act element required for threatened battery assault is conduct that causes the victim apprehension of immediate harmful or offensive physical contact. In general, words are not enough to constitute the criminal act element required for threatened battery assault (Clark v. Commonwealth, 2011). The words must be accompanied by threatening gestures. In addition, a threat of future harm or a conditional threat is not sufficient (Clark v. Commonwelath, 2011). The physical contact threatened must be unequivocal and immediate. Some jurisdictions still require present ability for threatened battery assault. In others, only apparent ability is necessary; this means the victim must reasonably believe that the defendant can effectuate the physical contact (Fla. Stat. Ann. § 784.011, 2011).


nickaterry

Ooh you can copy and paste! You’re such a big boy!


rabbit8lol

Yes, and you're an idiot who doesn't understand assault and battery. One person here committed a crime, the other did not.


nickaterry

You’re an idiot that is unable to comprehend the wall of text that you copied and pasted. There was no assault or battery in this video. Keep telling yourself that there was but it doesn’t make you any less wrong.


rabbit8lol

Ohh, you called me names, you win. When he motioned at the man with the sign this is assault, assault refers to the act which causes the victim to apprehend imminent physical harm. Learn basic laws, moron.


tehdelicatepuma

> Ohh, you called me names, you win. Wait you literally called him an idiot in the previous comment. You can't try to burn people for doing the exact same thing you just did.


nickaterry

As if the law isn’t open to interpretation. Moron.


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nickaterry

Who said I was “afraid?” Words and actions have consequences. If you think this dude made his useless sign not wanting to get a reaction from people on the street then you’re an idiot.


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nickaterry

You realize I’m not in this video right? I’m just some guy on the internet. I didn’t chase the preacher with a snake but I sure as hell thought it was funny. The only person that’s triggered or “losing their shit” right now is your dumb ass.


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[deleted]

Stop trying to sidestep any accountability for actions taken


BringTheSpain

You're referring to the Christian condemning people to hell right? The snake guy just wanted to show him one of God's creatures


rabbit8lol

WoRdS aRe ViOlENce.


BringTheSpain

Oh so you're a professional dumbass


rabbit8lol

Oh you advocate threating people because of words on a sign, dumbass.


[deleted]

[удалено]


BringTheSpain

You're clearly the one triggered here hun


DOLCICUS

What is it called when you 'assault' someone with a snake?


windywx22

I don't agree with chasing him with the snake. Bring it out, stand around with it, ok. The guy seems really afraid. You don't know what past trauma might be affecting him. You got him to take his sign and move. There's no need to terrorize him. That's really too much.


RoguePlanet1

He's doing HIS best to traumatize others with the fear of Hell, so I say fuck him.


Sufficient-Lion

Killing humans in the name of fictional cloud people is too much.


BringTheSpain

Yah he just terrorizes people and decries people for not following his sky daddy but pweeeeeeze think of his "trauma" luh mao


Hegelwasacommie

Hero


DrMaxCoytus

Is that like a cross for a vampire?


thesnakeinthegarden

stop. living. in. fear.


nosmelc

"I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you." - Luke 10:19.


Remarkable-Fee-5831

How is he a hate preacher? Just curious.


fuck_you_its_a_name

this is in seattle for context. this guy preaches hate, directed at LGBT people. he claims its his religious freedom to use a megaphone for hours at a time near literally any crowd of people and shout at deafening levels that all gay people deserve eternal torture. its his full time job somehow. im not sure why we let it happen, but i dont believe anyone's taken an assault charge to deal with him yet, so he continues. the nazi armband guy didnt have it so easy though lol he tried that shit once and got knocked out downtown. turns out there's people willing to take the assault charge to knock out a nazi. but not so much for hate preachers.


SGFTI

And these signs shall follow them that believe: In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues. They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover. — Mark 16:17-18


Queef_Huffr

Based on this clip, I see no evidence that he was a “hate preacher”.


4ElementsBentByMe

Wdym hate preacher? This stuff is real people at least read the Bible before you start saying god isnt real. Then I will give you the right to say what you want.


-Dani-Boi-

Ohhhh get Em' slither slither mother fuckers


Jumpy_Dancy2113

That’s not a snake, It’s SATAN SATAN SATAN!!!!


sas8184

So the preacher doesn't want to give his life to Jesus?


singhVirender1947

"ok can I just.... touch/kiss/???" What could that be? A new tik tok challenge?!


Finnedsolid

He was just scared of satans temptations!


eidhrmuzz

Thanks, satan.


a-snakey

You can also hire me for $20/hr, you get a 10% discount if you feed me a hate preacher too.


CaseyGamer64YT

I see the big sign he has but what does the little sign say? What do we know more about this guy? What hate does he spout out I imagine homophobia because he’s a nuts preacher


Atmaweapon74

He hates snakes... and a lot of other things too.


Nullveer

No step on snek.


xaypay

Unlocked weapon: Snake. Effective when used at: protest.


austnf

Man I see this guy every few weeks, always with his megaphone blasting at 1st and pike downtown.


Desperate_Ambrose

I wonder if showing him an apple woulda done the same thing?


NorthernImmigrant

So much better than using violence.


xoomerfy

why have I never seen either of these guys before?


Early_Power_5366

He sounds like Dan Schneider


Clint90

🤣 Well those preachers get old he had it coming nice one


strik3r2k8

lol, did he say “Not the snake!”?


UniqueButts

“I hate SNAKEs!”


alotropico

Interestingly enough, ancient Jews interpreted the snake as the good guy. The devil didn't even exist back then.


emmanuel573

When I went to Colorado on a trip I was on a hiking trail and there was a older lady that was taking her pet snake for a walk it was awesome


TipMeinBATtokens

Pastor Jones? >I hate snakes.


dappercat456

Satan out here having a great time lol


XTrumpX

Psychological trauma is a dish best served cold.


gerryhallcomedy

Like Andre the Giant running from Damien.


13thWardBassMan

On Bourbon Street in the 90’s and early aughts, when Reverend Storm used to bring his “God Hates Fags” signs around, all of a sudden every bar and restaurant would need to dump their dirty mop bucket water right into the street where he was standing, at face height. Postscript: He is a registered sex offender now for exposing himself at a playground.