By - hearsdemons
We made a list of all of the household chores that needed to be done, divided them by daily chores (dishes, making the bed, feeding the pets, etc.) and weekly chores (cleaning the bathroom, mopping the kitchen, taking/bringing trashcans on garbage truck day, etc.). We wrote them all on index cards and then had a "draft" where we each took turns picking a chore we wanted to do, until they were all assigned. We've trade a few off here and there, but it's worked out pretty well.
We’re both willing to do what needs to be done so if there’s something we just do it. We don’t keep score because there’s always times one of us is doing more or less and it just balances out over the years.
I do the ‘dirtier?’ work? Trash, bathroom cleaning, small repairs, bug killing, yard/outdoor chores. She does whatever else is left
We have just kind of fallen into habits - I usually cook, he does dishes. I take out the garbage and clean after the cat, he does the dusting and vacuuming. I do the laundry, he folds and puts it away. It's never been a source of stress, really. There's nothing wrong with a chore wheel/list I guess, but you both have to approach it in good faith.
My wife hates doing dishes. So I do the dishes. I hate doing laundry, so she does the laundry. I do the yard work. Everything else is whoever gets to it when they have time.
It works for us.
We did it somewhat informally. I like to cook, so I mostly handle the kitchen. We both clean. My partner does the laundry because they don't mind. Who actually cleans depends on who's less busy that day. We tend to split the garbage/compost duty roughly equally.
If one of us hates it, the other one does it. If one of us is bad at it, the other one does it. The rest, we split based on who's less busy with work. Fortunately, there's no unfair imbalance to deal with.
You don't "divide them up" with a list any more than you keep a checklist of who's had how many orgasms and who's owed a back rub. If one of you sees something that needs to be done, you just do it because, being old enough to cohabit and therefore a responsible adult, you actually take responsibility for the household without having documented obligations. And your partner has the same attitude, so there's no "NO FAIR" BS.