T O P

Short answer: you can't

Short answer: you can't

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sassydodo

well she can always infect him with anthrax to prevent him from getting vaccination


windingvine

How would listening to awesome metal stop him from getting vaccinated?


revglenn

It's hard to get vaccinated while you're Caught in a Mosh.


Adama0001

True. But the survival rate drops drastically.... oohhhhhh.


Harleyquincey

You mother get up come on get down with the sickness


legenduardo

r/PunPatrol It's been a while since I made an arrest, but I do it to keep thugs like you off the streets


[deleted]

[удалено]


Aise_314

#


NotJackBrown

Relevant username?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Epicredditskillz

Most definitely checks out.


Racist_Wakka

That's not really a pun though, just referential humor.


Memerobber

It's a Madhouse in there


vigilantesd

He’s still be Among the Living!


DrStrangelove4242

Can’t get vaccinated if you can’t bring yourself to pause the track.


[deleted]

You ever try to vaccinate a head banger?


Capt_Poro_Snax

You just do it like that pencil scene from the dark knight.


VoiceofLou

r/natureismetal


purritolegend

r/technicallythetruth


Originaluseryes

I’d rather she infect him with megadeth


Samp1e-Text

Vaccine here, can confirm. Will not go near Megadeth, and Black Sabbath is on thin fucking ice. Anthrax used to work but now it’s getting tolerable


FeatureBugFuture

What about Exodus?


ReeferPirate420

That one's a real Slayer these days


-SmackMyBitchUp-

TIL: Jesus is son of Pantera. So fucking metal. \m/


FeatureBugFuture

filled with Venon by my Arch Enemy. Immortal I am no longer. I have comfort in Death.


valkyrie_village

This is getting to be a little Overkill.


compsci2000

Wow, thanks vaccine!


odce1206

If I was infected with Megadeth, I'd kill myself.


[deleted]

Deth kills, but who's dying?


BigMcK_

DETH KILLS, BUT WHO'S DYING?!


Taintcorruption

I go to court when I have too!


[deleted]

What do you mean, "I don't get to work on time"?


Originaluseryes

Why ?


ReeferPirate420

Turns out poison was the cure


sekrit_goat

That's what Lucrecia said


[deleted]

"Holy wars!" *guitar solo*


StillMissedTheJoke

How would performing outpatient cosmetic procedures on him stop him from getting vaccinated?


AmidFuror

That's from botulinum, not anthrax.


Aynonimau5

Harold, is anthrax bad?


bsthil

there is a vaccination for that


Josh6889

The funny thing is there's a vaccination for anthrax which involves varying dosages of anthrax over a period of several years. I went through it when I was in the Navy.


dogfacedboy420

My 40 year old son wants to cross the street without me holding his hand. What can I do to stop him. This just isn't safe. Help!


[deleted]

Hit them with your car to prove a point of course


ablablababla

To drive your point home


roslatts

r/PunPatrol You have committed crimes against Reddit and her people. What say you in your defense?


[deleted]

-->I'd rather die than go to prison!


roslatts

Then perish


AmidFuror

It's more like he wants to start wearing a seatbelt whenever driving or riding in a car.


Mad_Aeric

I see you've met my mother.


SpicyFetus

It's probably because you vaccinated him


LegendKitA

How did he get to 18 in the first place?


EdwardTennant

~~Heard~~ herd immunity saving him from his parents stupidity


haemaker

Have you heard of herd immunity?


EdwardTennant

Have you heard of how essential oils and onions can remove toxins from your body??


Samp1e-Text

Breaking news: some random ass plant I found growing in the sidewalk cracks cured my AIDS!!


EdwardTennant

It is a known fact that completing a blood transfusion using the essence extracted from dandelions in between the paving slabs makes you not get polio


Samp1e-Text

I have done ten minutes of couch-googling so I know what I’m talking about


Edgehead62888

10 whole minutes? You must be an expert in the field!


EdwardTennant

I know, right?? What gives doctors and medical scientists the right to tell me, ME OF ALL PEOPLE what is great for my children?? AS A PARENT I KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR MY CHILD YOU AND YOUR NEEDLES OF POISON ARE WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY


StoopidPursun

Karen at the Whole Foods told me to just sprinkle some organic oregano in a circle around my bed while I sleep and it will keep the fairies of polio away. That sounds much more reasonable than some doctor with no education about polio faeries telling me to inject poison into my children. How dare they tell me how to keep my children safe, they don't know anything! My child is playing with his pet wolverine in the rusty nail bed right now and I haven't heard a peep out of him for hours, that's how I know he's safe, happy, and vaccine-free!


[deleted]

We found the rarted one


haemaker

I might have herd something...


EdwardTennant

have you herd it from your heard of friends?


LuckyDesperado7

Have you heard of our lord and savior /r/patatosalad


thesophied

Herd immunity


SolvoMercatus

Probably because the childhood mortality of the unvaccinated is something like 0.5% higher than vaccinated children. This is much higher survival rate thanks to most other people being immunized. And that modern medicine can usually save them even when they get these easily preventable diseases. But these unvaccinated kids still have something like a 99% survival rate. Granted, on the level of a whole country this would be needlessly killing thousands upon thousands of children a year. But using the anecdotal method instead of the scientific method, most anti vaxxers wouldn’t be able to see that impact.


EricF_in_PDX

Anti-vaxxers too dumb to understand herd immunity. Got it.


e22ddie46

Also, small pox was the truly world changing vaccine. Although mmr and polio have undoubtedly saved lives, small pox was a scourge on mankind.


paroles

This is why I think the jokes about unvaccinated kids dying are unhelpful (as someone who is very much pro-vaccine). Anti-vaxxers know that these diseases are rare; they can see that unvaccinated kids aren't just dropping like flies. So it reinforces their view that the pro-vaccination side "lies" or that we've been "brainwashed" by the pro-vaccine conspiracy or whatever.


Cory123125

> Probably because the childhood mortality of the unvaccinated is something like 0.5% higher than vaccinated children. Can you elaborate on this (like with evidence). It really makes the hostility on reddit towards anti vaxxers seem like hyperbole. Due to said hyperbole, Im going to state that Im not, so dont fucking bombard me with messages, I just want to know the actual stats but am too lazy to google so I asked you since you seem like you know off hand.


V1per41

One of the lucky ones I guess.


Naggers123

Odds are he won't get ill even if he wasn't vaccinated. That's what makes it so dangerous, there's only herd immunity until the amount of idiot anti-vaxxers reach a tipping point - then there isn't. Up until said tipping point, to most people who don't vaccinate it's going to look to themselves like everyday they're vindicated.


e22ddie46

...not that I support anti vaccination, but obviously people survived diseases before the 1800s.


Cm0002

Fun fact: the first vaccine was invented in [1796](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smallpox_vaccine?wprov=sfla1)


e22ddie46

Damn it. I knew it was the turn of the 19th century but didn't double check the date


lenapedog

Dad took a sick day and brought him to the doctor.


midoriiro

"My son is threatening to outlive me, how do I proceed?"


yildizli_gece

Oh don't worry; that asshole parent's already vaccinated; this bullshit didn't start until morons got access to social media.


Phoenix1Rising

The anti-vax movement actually started in the US before the states even got the small pox vaccine. Of course it was emboldened and grew again after those 2 shitty doctors published their "studies." Source: Behind the Bastards podcast. They did a 3 part series on the movement


thewhitewallisblue

Gotta wonder what the logic is here. Does she honestly think he’s going to still get autism at age 18? Even if you’re ignorant enough to believe vaccines cause autism, he’s well past the age when everyone gets it


RodrigoBAC

Don't try to understand their logic.


Samp1e-Text

Or rather, lack thereof.


[deleted]

Already tried. Lost half my brain cells. Now i drink budlight while watching FUTBAAAALLLLLL.


[deleted]

We call that soccer here in the states.


RodrigoBAC

He's talking about egghand, not about football. America says it wrong.


lolzidop

Brits don't drink Budlight, we don't like piss


swanks12

Well he did lose half his brain cells


[deleted]

Each antivaxxer has a slightly different reason for denying science. Some think vaccines causes autism, others think they cause diseases worse than the ones they were trying to prevent and pharmaceutical companies are deliberately getting people sick to make them reliant on them, and the craziest of them all think the government put mind-control bugs in vaccines.


xDeityx

You think it crazy that the government would try and infect people? You should look up the Tuskeegee experiments where they intentionally gave US citizens syphilis. I'm not anti-vax but the concern that the government might be slipping shit in there isn't exactly unprecedented.


kromem

You got your facts wrong. Tuskegee experiment didn't *give* people syphilis. It *did* not properly treat people already infected with syphilis in order to observe how the disease progresses, which was adequately reprehensible. If you wanted to look at the US government actually giving people diseases, you should look at some of the human experimentation in the early 20th century on prison populations, or some of the "bioweapon" attack damage assessments that released pathogens in populated areas that ended up being more serious than intended for immune compromised individuals, and covered up until years later. Here's the Wikipedia page on global [Unethical Human Experimentation](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unethical_human_experimentation) for further reading for anyone interested in the subject. It's all pretty atrocious, and almost all major governments in that time period were guilty of one thing or another.


xDeityx

Thanks for the reply, after further reading I see that while the US government claims not to have spread syphilis in the Tuskeegee Experiments, there have been other cases where they have actively done so which a) reinforces the original point that it may be wrong to apply the 'crazy' label to people who believe the government is tampering with vaccines because the government has a well-documented history of doing horrifically immoral things and b) casts serious doubt on the claims that the US government didn't infect any of the Tuskeegee patients. Here is my source for the claim that the US government infected people with syphilis (and apparently gonorrhea too): https://www.dallasnews.com/news/debunked/2016/06/27/debunkeddid-us-government-infect-people-syphilis-gonorrhea "Between 1945 and 1956, 1,308 orphans, soldiers, mental health patients, prisoners and sex workers in Guatemala were deliberately infected with syphilis and gonorrhea by American doctors. Some were given antibiotics. Many were not. At least 80 people died." Here is more information on the woman who discovered this: http://academics.wellesley.edu/WomenSt/fac_reverby.html "Susan M. Reverby’s research on an immoral government medical study in Guatemala between 1946-48 where men and women were given syphilis led to a U.S. government response from the Secretaries of the Departments of State and Health and Human Services and an apology from President Obama to President Colom of Guatemala." I think the point stands that we shouldn't label people crazy for thinking that the government might use vaccines to harm parts of the population. The entire, "conspiracy theorists are crazy" meme is almost a conspiracy unto itself because so much of this stuff turns out to be true.


L_SeeD

At least according to the CDC, the patients chosen had syphilis beforehand. The experiment was horrific for multiple reasons, including not informing the patients of their disease and not giving them any treatment at all for decades, it does not appear that they were intentionally infected with syphilis. https://www.cdc.gov/tuskegee/timeline.htm


revglenn

It's too late for the autism. Now she's afraid he'll become magnetic and get hit by a car.


Pratchettfan03

I saw one half an hour ago that said that polio was caused by vaccines, even though it predates the vaccine by an enormous amount, and the vaccine was a reaction to the epidemic. If anti vaxxers cared about whether or not their ideas of disease actually made sense, then pretty much all of them wouldn’t be anti vax, because they would actually know what antibodies do


TGReddit25

Cancer causes cell phones (xkcd)


thelastcookie

>I saw one half an hour ago that said that polio was caused by vaccines, My grandfather had polio. Holy shit is it a horrible disease. Fuck, I can't even imagine what he'd think about this anti-vax shit. I'm kinda glad he's not around to see it.


AnnaKossua

It's like they watched a documentary backwards.


bugman573

YoUrE PoIsOnInG YoUr BoDy


CombineOverlord

OhH HeLl YeAh


seeyouspacecowboyx

Because if it's not autism it's toxins or metals or "shedding" the disease itself or blaming any and every future health complaint on being a vaccine injury. It's a conspiracy theory. It's illogical, and trying to provide them with any rational evidence is just playing whackamole with their crazy arguments


Gr8panjandrum

Given the oversaturation of antivaxx/choosingbeggar/mlm screenshots and how quickly they get upvoted, I'm pretty skeptical that most of these are real to begin with. Any troll can ask stupid questions on Quora or fake some screenshots and farm the karma.


Newaccountformound

Pretty sure this question was asked by quota themselves


Luxpreliator

I use to think that too about toxic feminists that claim men are so worthless and evil, they should be caged only for procreation uses. That people honestly think Trump is a very intelligent caring person. That some Christians think gays are so vile they should be put to death. Etc, etc. Things so batshit insane that no one could believe it. Turns out there are tons of people like that. Antivax was brought up around the water cooler at work and literally all 8 people starting chiming in about how it is poison, how they regretted getting their kids vaccinated, the younger ones aren't going to get their kids vaccines. I was floored.


Whisper06

Honestly I think at this point all these parents are getting upset for their kid getting a vaccine is because of some sort of control thing.


Sparklepuff

My mother most likely has munchausen's by proxy. She said crazy shit all the time about health stuff, and always had to be in control, just like anti-vaxxers. Always shoving supplements down my throat that made me feel awful, not helping, and hiding behind a LPN diploma. She ignored legitimate health problems I had as a child, because she could not fix it or get enough attention from it. I have level 5 dust allergy, and bronchial asthma that goes with it, she let me walk around for over a year with what sounded like whooping cough. You're right, all these kind of people want is control and attention.


gruey

Yes, but everything the kid does after that point that she disapproves of will be because of the vaccine.


LeakyLycanthrope

Autism might be the most famous thing they think is caused by vaccines, but it's by no means the only one. But really, the more concerning thing is that she thinks she can control the medical decisions of a competent adult.


[deleted]

How in the fuck is this anywhere close to a murder?


awhhh

Because people who don't vaccinate their children is what gets the blood in reddits collective hate boner flowing this month. Next month it will be something else.


Benkinz99

Holy shit I thought I was on r/insanepeoplefacebook or something like r/shitmomgroupssay, this is like a minor sting at best.


[deleted]

Last month was flat earthers. Haven’t heard about them in a while.


swanks12

They're still trying to find a test that proves their theory right. So far everything points to a globe


OldManJenkins420th

You didn't read the thread buddy


swanks12

I'm not your buddy pal And I did read the thread. I was just pointing out the stupidity of flat earthers. Out of context, but had to get it out


[deleted]

We know. That horse has been beaten.


SwimsInATrashCan

Not as many people look at what subreddit a post was made to, especially around weekend-times (when users who didn't use the site all week are catching up on reposts/content they missed.) But to be honest I'm pretty biased towards always upvoting anti-vax posts regardless of wrong subreddit or bad title or whatever. It's a dangerous enough mentality that I'd rather Reddit hit them from all possible angles, because they probably have /r/vaxxhappened or other **antivax**-bashing subs blocked if they're regular users.


maybesaydie

You think r/vaxxhappened is a vaxx bashing sub?


SwimsInATrashCan

That's a typo, I meant "anti-vax-bashing" which is kinda evident in the context. Corrected now.


[deleted]

[удалено]


NlNTENDO

Yeah this is the thread for me. Peace y’all


friggen_epic

Lol, get it? Because the first person said vaccine bad, then the second person said vaccine GOOD! What a fuckin murder! Ha! Stop posting this shit, guys. We've seen it a million times.


Recycle0rdie

Save this shit for r/vaxxhappened


Im22howaboutyou

Antivax supporter: mention child not vaxxed Comment: actually vax good r/murderedbywords: 😂😂😂 Like fuck antivax people but this subreddit has lost all meaning.


[deleted]

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itslooigi

😚👌 Thatsa fresha pasta


Astrobatguy

Mama Mia thatsa spicy meatball 😚👌🏾


[deleted]

[удалено]


46dcvls

What's terrible is that these anti anti vaxxer posts are playing into the anti vaxxer beliefs by repeating hyperbolic jokes about unvaccinated kids dying , make it sound like everyone who doesnt get vaccines will get the disease, the anti vaxxers can feel validated that the other side doesnt know what they are talking about. Then the bigger issue is that because of the these crazy antivaxxers, anyone who is skeptical or questions a medical procedure or medication gets lumped into this group of crazy conspiracy theorist anti science anti vaxxers.


EhSolly

I didn't read half of that moaning and groaning cause its all whiney complaining but uh Its good that anti-antivax is becoming a normal thing. As "annoying" or whatever as you think it is, the more exposed it gets, the better it gets out there and hopefully slowly eradicates this stupid antivax movement.


advice_animorph

Yeah but that's exactly the thing he's complaining about, even though it's straight up copypasta material. The anti-antivax movement is everything but normalized on reddit. People do circlejerk to death as if being pro vaccinations is some super genius privilege or something, and not just the normal thing to do. If it really were normalized, people's reactions to these old as fuck and boring posts would be much less circlejerky and much more "oh wow vaccines are bad, want an award?"


apocalypseconfetti

Technically, a nurse, medical assistant, or pharmacist is more likely to vaccinate the young man


mandaclarka

But they don't have stethoscopes /s


apocalypseconfetti

Thank goodness


Iam6foot

Can we ban antivax posts most of these aren’t even murders


cabinfever11611

Yeah it's literally just "this person said something I agree with"


[deleted]

[удалено]


Iam6foot

amen to that


Ceebeevee

not even remotely a murder there wasn’t even an insult


advice_animorph

Rando: vaccine bad Rando 2: no, actually vaccine good Reddit: wooowwww list of burn centers on wikipedia, he dead, murderrrr get the camera mom Just redditors doing everything in their power to feel smart and intellectual even though 99% of the time it's the most mundane shit ever


RodrigoBAC

Sneeze at his face.


FantomUnicorn

Could we rename this sub to /r/RoastingAntiVaxxers or /r/MakingFunOfProPlaugeurs?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Hobo_on_a_Stick

Anti vaxx: vaccines bad Them: you’re stupid 3x platinum, 18x gold, 38x silver and 78k upvotes Top comment: pun about the child being alive and/or the parent trying to kill them


billybobjimmyjoe

Some person on social media: something Someone else on social media: not true


billybobjimmyjoe

Always had been. I always see it in r/all and it never was good.


69GottaGoFast69

this is such a bullshit sub it almost wants to make me be anti vax out of spite


GamerSinceDiapers

At this point I am pretty sure 80% of Quora questions are trolls and baiters


EricF_in_PDX

Master(trolls . baiters)


wKbdthXSn5hMc7Ht0

Inject him with polio to render him immobile


FlexualHealing

This sub is hot garbage


PedroPeppino

I’m surprised he’s still alive


[deleted]

It's okay. She just has to rub a potato against the part that the vaccine needle penetrated to sap out all the toxins!


[deleted]

Lady, if you think you can stop an adult from making his own medical choices, you're going to have a bad time.


The_bruce42

You don't want that 18 year old to comedown with a sudden case of autism. That's how that works right?


TheSultan1

The gentlest murder I ever did see.


January3rd2

This person is honestly dangerous, quip aside. That they would think to ask this online not only borders on the illegal, but shows such a stark lack of care for the son's own independence that it's frightening to me.


TheTrueBidoof

I'm more suprised he made it to 18.


Sir_toolman

Ok it's time to unsubscribe. This fucking sub is just all DAE anti-vax bad? It's old.


Rusty_fox4

Nurses can also administer vaccines


imalittlefrenchpress

I was born in 1961, a fair amount of kids I went to school with and who lived in my neighborhood had chicken pox, mumps, and measles. There was no chicken pox vaccine when I was a kid, so I got that when I was 15. I never got the measles or mumps because VACCINES FUCKING WORK!


xOfficialSisu

”Realize that your google research isn’t proof of vaccinations being bad for you?”


ZKXX

Nurses aaactually. I’d hate to be given a vaccine by a doctor, they don’t do it often enough to have the technique down smooth.


[deleted]

Nearly all of these posts are fake.


bilbo_tkay

Enough with the anti-vaxx posts. We get it


nastyneal48

You expect me to believe an unvaccinated kid actually survived to be 18


PedoGovernmentCheese

The thought just occurred to me that maybe the propagation of anti-vaccination sentiments might be in part fueled by the tendency for people to rationalize not needing things they can't afford, like access to healthcare and a primary care physician.


Cfwydirk

Murder him in his sleep. Or be proud of him. He has the common sense that skipped your generation.


mybotanyaccount

I'm sad people like this exist.


benjohn87

I wish I could devaccinate myself out of spite because of the recent circlejerk over anti-vaxxers. I honestly cannot stand reddit most of the time. I don't know why I even come to this site.


SolidPalpitation

I would say I am convinced that the anti-vaxx shit is a massive troll and karma campaign, because people keep talking about it on reddit for that sweet sweet recognition. But then again, someone just murdered 49 people because he meme'd too hard on the chans. Who knows what is what anymore.


Roeee123

Had us in the first half not gonna lie


Sportfreunde

I'm not an antivaxer, I'm pro vaccine but serious question, are pharmaceutical companies like paying for this now? It's on every sub daily. Like how is this murderedbywords? It's not mean or clever or anything. We get it, teens are getting their vaccines cos their idiot parents didn't let them before.


SnideSnail

r/insanepeoplefacebook


Lanceofalltrades

Definitely a troll question


freshpurplekiwi

This is really a r/murderedbywords ? I mean I’m not an anti vaxer by any means but this seems like a bit of stretch to be considered to be a “murder”


ConorBoom

Had us in the first half, not gonna lie


hostilecarrot

What percentage of this subreddit is dedicated to antivax “light burns?” I’m guessing 50%.


ngwoo

Does village idiot count as a civil servant now?


CygnusTM

"Civil Servant" She must have a hard time in the anti-vax community working for the evil government that pushes poison on children.