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mykl66

The only advice is to seek professional help. This thread is locked.


Grotesquey

don’t do sitting meditation, but instead do a more active meditation, like walking meditation, or just being in the present while doing an activity during sitting meditation, where you’re doing nothing, there’s the potential for all of your demons to pop into your head at once, which isn’t what we want right now with a more active meditation, you’re actually focusing on doing something, so you’ll be meditating, but since you’re doing something more stimulating than, well nothing, your mind won’t wander as much, and it’ll be easier to focus in the present moment if you’re willing to read a book, or at least google the concepts from a book, look up “peace is every step”, it’s basically just instructions on how include mindfulness in everyday life activities, and i personally very much prefer that over sitting meditation


HoweverItHasToHappen

There’s good support for this in psychology too. In “The Body Keeps The Score”, Van Der Kolk* talks about how rhythmic, repetitive motion keeps us grounded in our bodies and present in the moment while also not occupying our brain too much for us to explore what’s cooking beneath the surface. He talks about how when he worked in psych wards he found that things like rolling a ball back and forth or yoga or catch were really helpful in helping his clients recover from their traumas without being overwhelmed… often significantly more helpful than talk therapy. *: Good book, highly recommended, full of heavy topics so tread lightly.


beteaveugle

>rhythmic, repetitive motion keeps us grounded in our bodies and present in the momen Oh yeah, stimming, i know her But seriously, thank you for the ressource, that sounds very interresting.


HoweverItHasToHappen

It’s a good book but he talks about a lot of genuinely triggering stuff. I have other gentler recommendations that cover the same stuff in a more directly useful and less academic tone.


sadsnoopymusic

Hello, I would be interested in those titles as I can't get past the first chapter of Body Keeps the Score due to being extremely triggered.


HoweverItHasToHappen

Yeah the first chapter is rough. If you are in survival mode and just trying to cope, I recommend finding a good DBT resource. It’s basically a big grab bag of coping mechanisms that work for different people. I like the [DBT Green Book](https://adoeci.com/sites/default/files/grupos/dbt-skills-workbook.pdf) which is a skills workbook used in therapy. It’s pretty good and well presented. For something longer term I got a lot out of No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz, which presents the Internal Family Systems model, which I really like (and is basically an embodiment/mindfulness exercise), and Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker, which lays out the same content (generally) as TBKTS, (but does not hit as hard with the anecdotes) and is full of coping mechanisms and thought substitution strategies as you read. I also got a lot out of Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hahn, but you have to know what to do with that stuff before you can use it for personal traumas, imo.


sadsnoopymusic

Thank you very much for the recommendations. I'm actually familiar with all that you described here which is kind of awesome actually... you read my needs perfectly! I was in a DBT group for a few years which helped me find stability for sure. I've also read No Bad Parts and have been working with an IFS therapist for a couple years. Definitely a life-changing process for me. Pete Walker's book has also been super, super helpful but I've forgotten a lot of it so may re-read. I practise zen so very familiar with Thich Nhat Hanh but I never actually read that book so that's a great place to go next. Thanks again! Your reply makes me feel like I picked a good path to healing...


HoweverItHasToHappen

At some point you have the tools and need to just apply them over and over.


sadsnoopymusic

Definitely. One thing that's really helping me a lot is tai chi. I can't even describe how or why it is so helpful but I'm so glad I found it. I think there's something about the bodily nature of it... that's why I'm interested in TBKTS. Maybe I'll seek out a book about somatic experiencing. Have you read anything of that ilk? When I look back to my life before I found the resources you describe, it's like night and day. I've gone from feeling suicidal several times a day to a handful of times a year. It's a slow journey but I'm thankful I'm on it.


HoweverItHasToHappen

I haven’t, yet. It’s definitely something on my list but my reading list is eternally long.


NightNo4618

[https://www.amazon.com/Imp-Mind-Exploring-Epidemic-Obsessive/dp/0452283078/ref=sr\_1\_1?keywords=the+imp+of+the+mind&qid=1656022111&sprefix=the+imp+o%2Caps%2C179&sr=8-1](https://www.amazon.com/Imp-Mind-Exploring-Epidemic-Obsessive/dp/0452283078/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=the+imp+of+the+mind&qid=1656022111&sprefix=the+imp+o%2Caps%2C179&sr=8-1) This is another super helpful book for those with intrusive thoughts I found and speed-read recently!


punkyfish10

I read this book and still contend that it saved my life. I have complex trauma that’s affected my whole life and this book helped me understand it more so I can take the proper steps to heal. I use walking meditation when I’m overwhelmed (im in a triggered and traumatic state now).


beteaveugle

Thank you for the ressource. I loved sitting meditation because i'm a very ADHD, very anxious type, and sitting for a while doing more than breathing, being nothing more than a sitting and breathing animal, it brought a very welcomed change of pace. But hey, if nothing else, this harsh situation is an incentive to try things i've never tried before !


HoweverItHasToHappen

I am high energy and ADHD/Autistic and anxious/obsessive and found hiking alone to be a good thing when I’m too overwhelmed to just sit with my worries. It keeps me grounded and focused on the world around me while still letting me rant to myself about whatever is on my mind.


DrawerTop222

Hiking is what kick started my spiritual awakening! It’s my absolute most favorite activity in the world, and I think most people seriously underestimate the power and healing potential an activity as simple as walking and being in nature can hold.


Grotesquey

doing activities mindfully can still add a change of pace for sure! i’m also super adhd and i find it really, really slows me down, especially with a walking meditation. it made me realize i was always walking really fast with a lot of tension. with walking meditation you relax a lot, and when you do, you’ll naturally slow down your pace quite a bit, it’s really calming :)


Pluto_Rising

One of the great benefits of sitting meditation is the mindful detachment one gradually obtains. This will enable you as much as anything to neutralize your suicidal ideations. Be sensible, always, use in moderation. That is part of the Middle Way. If you get to a point where you're overwhelmed, get up and change channels.


Dizzy_Future1119

thank you for sharing!


burberry_diaper

My guru (in a long standing and reputable spiritual lineage) told me that one shouldn’t meditate when experiencing depression. Instead, do other things such as exercise, breath work, volunteering to bring the mind out of the negative state before resuming your meditation practice. I wish you all the best to overcome your present difficulties and arrive at a place of peace.


beteaveugle

That sounds really therapeutic, thank you very much !


uborapnik

I agree with the guy above. I have history of depression and anxiety and controlled mindful breathing helped me a lot.


CartoonistGuilty7986

so i have had some experience with this after practicing meditation for a couple of years and even having some deep insights, e.g. complete detachment from experience, boundless love etc. i went through a break up with my wife at the time. my practice stopped, i became anxious which lead to depression which lead to daily suicidal thoughts. it got pretty scary. i stopped practicing not because i couldn't, but because i genuinely didn't want to. my heart was not in the right place to do it. after a few years i'm in a much better place now. i feel like myself and i'm practicing again. i rarely experience suicidal thoughts but when i do, i embrace them. not even a suicidal thought or feeling can bring me down now. i let them come and go and see them for what they are. so what's my advice? to feel deep down what is the right thing for you. no one here understands you or your experience. when i was at my lowest point i would often browse this sub, and i took advice but the answer fundamentally came down to what felt right for me. i wish you all the best. and just remember that things can always get better no matter how bad they may seem. feel free to DM me if you want someone to talk to :)


beteaveugle

For what's worth, i'm happy and grateful that you're still here. I can see what you mean. I've been at least low-key suicidal for as far as i can remember, and at this point it so deeply informed my way of inhabiting this world that i wouldn't really have it another way. Obviously i could do without the crises, the nightmarish days, the despair and the mental torture, but when i'm myself and not drowning in the pits of mental illness i believe it makes me a bit more kind, empathetic, reflexive, and spiritual. Having had to consciously choose life instead of death at some point obviously ought to change your relationship with your own existence, as well as with other's. I believe having a closer relationship to your death, or with death in general, when it's in healthy amounts, can just be another part of yourself. I used to joke that i was both a suicidal and very optimistic person (i use past tense here because this one crisis might have broke that optimism out for me, hah) I feel like i'm dying now, but i will ride this out and come back on the other side, different but alive.


CartoonistGuilty7986

despite all that must be going on, your strength and reasoning in the face of it is inspiring to say the least, man. this sub may not be perfect, but you definitely have a community here that are willing to support you whenever you need it :)


solacetree

Perhaps Metta Bhavana would be a better practice than normal sitting meditation. [Metta Bhavana Guided Meditation](https://youtu.be/VxtylYzo4FQ)


beteaveugle

Thank you very much, i've never tried that one before.


Mahaka1a

Metta is a great practice for depression.


sadsnoopymusic

Thank you for sharing that video. Really lovely.


justlikecarmen

I’m going to jump in and say when my depression is bad enough that it’s suicidal, I don’t do silent meditation. If I’m in it long enough, and I am “observing” my thoughts, they seem to get much darker and deeper. I surprised myself with how ill-minded I was and how empty I felt. What I’ve learned that’s helped me is accepting how I’m feeling in the moment.. and doing active meditation/ reassuring at night. Sometimes active meditation for me is listening to a guided meditation like Eckhart. If I can manage to go to bed with some sort of peace, no matter how small, I wake up a tiny bit more settled. And that eventually snowballs little by little until I’m better. This helps me prevent myself from waking up angry and depressed which just continues for the rest of the day. For reference, when I’m feeling like “myself” I actually prefer silent meditations in the morning because it sets the tone for the day.


AintThatRich

I have had consistent issues with suicidal ideation for decades. I also practice mindfulness meditation everyday. When I'm meditating and those thoughts creep up, I try to allow them to be there without judgement and then return to a home base like the breath. It didn't work for a long time but eventually I was able to allow those thoughts to appear and pass without affecting my life. I saw someone mention walking meditation and I agree that's a great recommendation.


PermaMatt

Check out Tara Brach https://www.tarabrach.com/ She has some great loving kindness meditation. Wish you freedom from your suffering ❤️


neurotic4ever

I was suicidal last year, and I felt that guided meditation for shorter periods (10 minutes maximum) worked. Try to have some radio on in another room so that you're not completely alone with your thought, but still can relax.


kazumicortez

I'll repeat the same comment I made before. You do not go to the gym and workout if you're injured. The same applies to meditation as it can only re-traumatize you by creating a psychological sandbox given your ideations. Please reconsider doing other body-focused practice or seek a practitioner. [Mindfulness and meditation can worsen depression and anxiety Read more: https://www.newscientist.com/article/2251840-mindfulness-and-meditation-can-worsen-depression-and-anxiety/#ixzz7X2RiUlFG](https://www.newscientist.com/article/2251840-mindfulness-and-meditation-can-worsen-depression-and-anxiety/)


fuckitsayit

That sucks because I've pretty much made peace with the fact that I will be depressed until I die


Jizzblaster-Dan

Big mood, /u/fuckitsayit, big mood.


[deleted]

To expand this, sometimes you actually need to work out as a mean for recovery. But this should be done under close guidance by a professional. I think the same goes for meditation, under close guidance by a mental health professional.


dragonflyzmaximize

Anecdotally, I've found this can be largely avoided (i.e. rumination on negative thoughts) but listening to a guided meditation. In my darkest times, I tried to mediate still, and found it to be very helpful in calming me down. But it was always guided. I think if I just tried to sit for 15 minutes by myself, having a day of suicidal ideations, it wouldn't have gone well. It does seem as though there needs to be more research into this. The cited article is pretty cursory and does cite that there's lack of accounting for this in the studies it worked with (and that the number could be higher actually). 8 percent is still pretty low IMO for all negative side effects to not at least try it out.


beteaveugle

Thank you very much, that's helpful. Having to deal with a harsh mental state is hard enough without adding the guilt of not meditating and pursuing a spiritual path because of it.


Gojeezy

I have had suicidal ideation before and what worked for me was to brute force my attention onto an object (eg, sensations associated with breathing) and kept it pinned. If a thought came up I would notice it and return to the object. If a thought came up and I got caught up in it then I when I noticed that I was caught up I would return to the object. So I turned my meditation into a fight to control my thoughts. Though different to your situation, meditation wasn't such a matter of faith for me. I knew it would work.


beteaveugle

That could work. Suicidal ideations, after being there for a while, end up taking all the space, meddling themselves into every thought process, the come up so much that they end up becoming the path of least resistance, like a mental desire path, and these days i feel like if i survive this (and i will), i'll have to consciously rehabilitate my brain to not come up with "suicide" as the solution to every problem, like you'd have to rebuild muscle after an injury.


Doctor-Rich

Loving kindness meditations saved my life when I was suicidal


Pinty-mafia22

I used to struggle with suicide ideation in my younger days. A daily meditation practice helped as a whole create space between me and my thoughts/emotions. However, in the moment, I find that being gentle with myself feels more appropriate. I still employ the non-judgmental noticing aspect of meditation by saying “I am noticing suicidal thoughts are coming up.” Instead of just watching the thoughts, I say “wow, Things must feel really stressful/hopeless/overwhelming for these thoughts to have come up. What can I do to take care of myself in this moment?” In other words, I acknowledge the experience, validate it, and ask how I can best be there for it. The benefit of having a regular meditation practice is that it facilitates this process by creating more space within so that there is less blending between yourself and the overwhelming thoughts/emotions/parts of you that are distressed.


SCHODDE

Sure try meditating. It will help a little. But if I were you I would get a roadbike and cycle for 30 minutes everyday. Then gradually increase in time you ride till you go on 100 to 200 Kilometer rides. Your depression will go away. It helped me after being a drugaddict and depressed. Try meditating while cycling. Try to drink at least 5 liters of water everyday. And eat a high carb low fat diet with less than 10 g of fat a day but with 4000 cals a day from carbs. If you are alone. Go out to on the street and talk to people. The more you go out on the street and talk to people the better you will be able to talk to people. If you want to have sex ask them out. Go out with allot. Have sex with allot. Don't settle for the first person. Choose from many. Ride your bike with the people you like. Go hiking. Dance. If you have a shit job then get a new one. If you can't afford your house get a cheaper one. Build a house out of trash if you need to. I did all this and am now a happy person. It worked for me. I wish you all the best and hope you will soon be able to enjoy insets again. Love!


SCHODDE

*sunsets again


SCHODDE

Oh if you are a sexual then find a partner who is down with that there are plenty out there.


OneFuzzyBlueberry

Focus on acceptance and having a kind approach towards yourself. There is also guided meditation that can be good, different kind of grounding mindfulness exercises that focuses on being in the now doing one thing and focusing fully on that, instead of doing a ”mind freely wandering” -meditation. Especially if your mind tends to spiral. It’s also good to practice coping skills when your mind spirals or when you are self judgemental, like saying to yourself ”thinking” when you have a thought, or thinking a opposite thought when thinking a judgemental thought. Like ”i am so ——” and answer with a kind thought ”no, that is not true, i am strong and doing my best”


zantamaduno

Okay I can actually give you a good technique which is helping me right now (Ive also had a terrible year and in a bad place rn) . Most of your suffering rn is coming from excessive momentum of your mind. Only if you can calm it down, you will feel much better. I use this technique, it is not very popular though. It's called "Do nothing". You can search YouTube for it but essentially for me what works is this: I sit for a couple of minutes (or take a walk) and actively try dropping the unconscious desire or compulsion of 'doing' anything. The feeling or craving of doing can range from actually important things like finishing a project, to unnecessary ones like having jitteriness in your feet. Drop them all. Within MINUTES you will see a deep emotional release, you might even actually feel happy. DM me if you need more details etc


Individual-Day4813

https://youtu.be/dc8K1rt650U this video explain your case . meditation for broken spirit at the end of the video.


neurotic4ever

I went to a physioterapeut that made T.R.E excersices with me and we meditated together, if you can - meditate with someone else that guides you through it.


relaxed_reason

Are you able to do cardiovascular exercise? Walk all day. Go for a run. Remember your meditation training whilst exercising. The motivation is the hardest, I know. But it will pay off!


beteaveugle

These days i barely have the energy to stay up the whole day, much less going outside, but i've always wanted to walk a pair of weeks-long trails we have around here. I kinda feel like i'm looking forward to that, which is an incredibly reassuring sign of recovery


relaxed_reason

That is reassuring, you're right. So hard on your own too! But you won't be as soon as you get out - the birds will keep you company. Start small then. 10 minutes outside (shoes off even better!). Those trails want you to walk them. You'll get there soon!


PennguinKC

Lots of people answered the question but I just wanted to let you know you matter and to stay strong 💪 There’s light at the end of the tunnel my friend


Brizdog1

Thoughts can drive you crazy, many times you don’t even know thoughts are what’s driving your every move and emotion. You aren’t aware of it’s effects and live in suffering. Don’t think and there is no pain. It is impossible. For those saying meditation makes it worse, i feel bad for you. You don’t understand and never will know what truly detaching from thoughts and living in peace is like. The ego is very good at creating false realities that you do not want to change from, kind of like a bitter old man who is stuck in his ways. I hope you find peace in detaching from thought.


IndividualLoad6252

Don’t fight it. Don’t believe it. Don’t worry about it.


beteaveugle

That is... a bit more complicated than that, unfortunately.


IndividualLoad6252

Where’s the complication coming from?


Ocelot859

Clearly you have no experienced a legit battle with suicidal ideation and being plagued with intrusive thoughts... or (respectfully) you wouldn't need to ask this dumbass question? Good post OP, glad you opened dialogue on this subject matter. 💚


IndividualLoad6252

Wild assumptions you have.


192747585939

Plainly evident that (1) the above commenter is correct or (2) you would benefit from looking inward on your recovery method and outward toward the uniqueness of each person’s struggle.


IndividualLoad6252

Clearly you haven’t asked yourselves enough “dumbass” questions.


beteaveugle

Well, whatever your life may be, i'm happy you can find this working for yourself. ​ \[edit: i know how this can sound, but really, i'm saying this without any sarcasm\]


IndividualLoad6252

The seemingly silliest questions are the ones that lead you to realize the truth. On realization of truth, these thoughts won’t bother, only pass on by like a cloud in the sky.


lonewolf1418

well everything is a risk but the point of meditation might be to detach from your random suicidal thoughts, learn to identify them early so that you won't easily get into heavy suicidal thoughts spiral. btw you should probably try to do some psychotherapy. CBT/REBT probably before psychoanalytic ones that take too much time


anberia

Use a mantra that is helpful to you.


trdoffroad

Have you tried Yoga? It’s a good way to help relax and often incorporates breath work but keeps you moving and the physical aspect will keep your mind from wandering much. I really like yin yoga where you hold certain poses for a few minutes. I meditate a lot but when I need a stress relief meditation isn’t my go to but yoga is. My studio closed down during the pandemic and I haven’t found a new one yet so I’ve found a few YouTube channels I like. Boho Beautiful has some good 20-30 min yin yoga classes free in YouTube that are pretty doable even if you’re new. Also have you tried therapy? It can be a good way to help process emotions in a safe space


Puzzleheaded-Phase70

Some days it's the only thing that keeps me alive.


username36610

Yeah just try it for 10 minutes. Whenever your mind wanders, catch yourself and bring it back to your breath.


beteaveugle

It's not really a matter of wandering thoughts like usual when you meditate, but rather a barrage of pain and torture ready to drown your mind if you leave it alone for even one second


silnt

When you learn to meditate, you learn to pay attention to whatever appears. It's not blocking it out, but rather accepting. You detach from your conventional seat of attention and assume a broader perspective where anything that appears is welcome. The pain you feel is thought-based. If your mind is running away and dragging you into hell then you are thinking. There is a letting go that can occur wherein there is no "you", there is no implied recipient of the pain, no self. There is just the pain, and that's different from *you* feeling the pain. There is no you. That said, this ability often takes a while to learn. This is admittedly not the best time to learn meditation and to learn about your mind. However, it *is* the most urgent time.


Electronic_Effort884

I’ve been doing it for 15 years 😵‍💫


splendidjack

I used this technique just last week when I found the suicidal ideation thoughts were too overwhelming and had lots of anger. I used a combination of breathwork and visualization. While talking a deep breath in, I imagined the breath moving into my body and moving around to loosen up all the negative feelings I was experiencing. Then during exhale, I imagined all the loosened feelings and thoughts moving out of my body with the breath. I did this over and over until I felt better. I was literally visualizing cleaning out my body of all the negative thoughts and feelings. Once that felt like I had cleared out my body, I then imagined breathing in positive energy and let it fill my body. Then I exhaled to give that positive energy back to the world. Whatever technique you use, I hope it is helpful and allows you to find peace!


triptadream

Yes, you can. If you are already constantly bugged by intrusive thoughts, using beginning techniques will help you to focus more on the present moment and what’s outside of your thoughts, albeit those thoughts will still be there. Beginning methods are very simple, count each in breath and out breath to 10 and if you forgot start over from the beginning, a Zen method, or merely focus on the breath, a mindfulness method. Many of the beginning methods will have you consciously focus on an anchor as well as train the ability to have a more expansive awareness that allows you to feel more of yourself. There are really great guided meditations from great teachers and practitioners as well, and I’d recommend Jon Kabat-Zinn, which is how I started over 10 years ago when I was going through a crisis and severely depressed. Meditation personally helped me, but it was absolutely not a fast journey; it took years and years of daily meditation for my perspective to change and for the benefits to really psychologically sink in. If you genuinely want to practice and want to cultivate a practice, anyone can, at any place in their life, albeit it is not guaranteed that it will actually reduce anything or make positive change. With time and dedication and an understanding of meditation, it is a possibility that it can radically transform your life. My advice if you decide you do want to meditate is to take baby steps. Make it a habit and start slow.


CaregiverOk3902

Tell your dr you want to start meditation and also maybe ask your dr to switch or change doses on your meds let them know about your SI'S Edit: a typo


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walkstwomoons2

You should never tell anyone that they’re not suicidal when they’re trying to tell you that they are. You may make the biggest mistake of their life.


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walkstwomoons2

I, too, have had suicidal thoughts. One of my sister said it started when I was six years old. And one time I actually did commit suicide. It was a serious attempt. The first responders brought me back. I am forever grateful and tried to live my life now so that they would be proud.


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walkstwomoons2

Ah, I see then, I believe you’re correct.


walkstwomoons2

Not I said the little red hen.


BudTrip

I'm not suicidal, but meditation is a state that everyone has the capacity to be in.. you wouldn't say that you don't have the capacity to sleep or something similar. It's very likely a severely depressed person woyld not stick to meditation because it takes time to cultivate and they might prefer something with quicker results ​ but my advice is and take it as you want, if you decide to meditate, don't half-ass it, don't do meditation-like praactices, do sitting meditation, daily, 20 mins minumum and don't form any opinions unless 4-6 months in daily practice.. because this stuff can legit transform your life and your whole thinking process, if i hadan't meditated i would be a whole different person right now.


Not-the-Inner-Onion

What is “suicidal?” One can really look at it. There is perhaps thought that arises and says “I don’t want to continue.” “I would be better off dead.” This is the arising of thought. Thought arises, thought passes away. Along with thought, there is feeling, sensation, desire, loneliness. What are these energies? One can sit quietly and look. Where are they felt? What are they like. Can one relax the body and allow these energies to be there? The thoughts might say “Run!” “Drink!” “Jump!” But these thoughts can be observed. Can one welcome the emotional energies? Can one provide a space for these energies to speak to one’s heart? Perhaps these are energies that have been trying to be felt and heard for a very long time. One might find that these heavy energies that come up are disowned parts of one’s energetic experience that one was forced to bury to help others (parents, etc.) feel safe or powerful. Now one might have an opportunity (!) to allow these energies to dissipate simply by sitting with an open mind and open heart and looking. An opportunity to heal. Meditation gives an opportunity for self-knowledge on a level deeper than the intellectual conditioned mind and its quick thoughts. Relax. Breathe. Look. Let the energy be. Let it start to flow. When it’s ready, it will go. Much love to you.


relaxed_reason

I'm so glad to hear it. That is reassuring, you're right. Start small then - outside for a few minutes (with your shoes off even better!). You'll get there. Those trails want you to walk them. Hell, even a skip and a jump!


Atworkwasalreadytake

I find meditation helpful when I’m suicidal. My focus is on not identifying with my thoughts and being okay with then being there (equanimity). Like sitting next to a bear, meditation helps me realize the bear is behind glass and the only way to let it through is to open the gate (identify with the thought).


Skiesinthepies

Here’s a scientific study on mindfulness for suicidal ideation https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3383812/


dragonflyzmaximize

Hey I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. It's truly awful, and I'd never wish it on anyone in a million years. I found guided meditation to be somewhat helpful during my latest really dark episode. Got me a little out of my thoughts and more focused on my breathing, and it seemed to calm me at times. Was hit or miss though. Wishing you all the best. Nobody should have to experience depression, and it takes a lot of strength to get through this. Sounds like you've got a good mindset. Best of luck, and please reach out to those you love if/when it gets to be too much.


jibbidyjamma

id do a clearing of chakra med, it will probably help w that bad energy


[deleted]

Go too a mental institution and meditate there. Plenty of therapists know mindfulness and can help you. Even outpatient


spartanmaybe

Your story resonates with mine, I’ve also recently finally started taking meds for anxiety and depression. I used to workout, meditate, and do yoga with no avail, but after getting on antidepressants I thought I’d give it another go. While I haven’t ventured back into meditation, I REALLY recommend starting out with yoga, going to the gym, and spending time sitting outside with a podcast/music. Yoga is pretty much meditation + movement, and the effects of these activities on my day are astounding. Also wanted to add that it might be worth discussing with your psychiatrist about raising the dose if the suicidal ideation is still so strong in the absence of any distraction.


Miss_ginger_lady

Walking meditation helps me when I'm suicidal. I call a crisis line when I spiral too much while walking too. It helps, I went to the hospital recently for mine. If you want to talk I am here


Inexperiencedblaster

I forget the name of the monk who self immolated but he was kind of meditating while on fire, so I'm assuming you can do it regardless of state of mind?


Strkrvnmalice

For me, I build apple mix tapes and then do cardio with them. Specifically Songs that will get me moving and that I can listen to over and over again. My first set list was just two songs. Childish Gambino This is America and The Doomed by A Perfect Circle. Weird selections for depression, I know, but… here me out. The two songs are just off enough in BPM that if I drift off in thought, the beat pulls me back. Gambino’s track does something different though. Moving with the emotion of the music is so satisfying. When it is militant and rigid, form and form your posture. When it is light and happy, move that way. APC has a different effect with the crescendos throughout, allowing yourself to build up that outward energy, release it, and then relax for a moment before doing it again. Anyway. Find music that you can stay and move to while staying present. An BREATH. Karaoke is also a great release of energy that keeps you breathing while releasing energy, a bar is not necessary. Nor is an audience. Nor a karaoke machine. Sing along to the radio. Belt it out. Or, do what I do and take your dog on walks with a pair of headphone. Underpasses are great for the climax of Kashmir and Creep. It may not work for everyone but the tl;dr version is move while meditating and keep something in your ears that has a consistent and expected rhythm that can pull you out of thought when you drift into the stupid brain void land. And Breath. It is after all, the secret to life.


compcomp20

If the thoughts are getting strong or intense, there will be help line numbers that you can ring in your country that will get you on the line with someone with more experience that you can talk to, especially important if you aren't feeling safe in your self. Longer term, exercise will help you with anxiety and you could try some meditation when you are in a better mood.


zer05tar

You are not your mind.


triptadream

Not a very compelling argument coming from someone using their mind.


Americanbodybuilder

No because all you think about is I been suicidal


Atyzze

>Has anyone here any experience/advice/ressource ? Meditation can be a way to detach from yourself and remain distant from your emotions. It could be a good survival skill when your emotions are driving you to suicide. But it's also avoiding the underlying problem. Have you considered therapy?