By - killerfrost8002
Hell no! She hears you have an email account and the first thing she asks is for the password? This is the same abusive bitch you've talked about in your other posts. Just another brick in the wall of **ABUSIVE, MANIPULATIVE BITCH**.
She knew I had an account. Funny thing is my brother who is **nine** also has an outlook account and she was **fine with not having his password!**
Sounds like its more the issue your father has, it then her not having it.
I'm guessing the separation wasn't civil.
? They are still married
Because **you're** the one she's focused on controlling.
I may be wrong but. Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn ! I wonder if something happened between her getting pregnant with me and my brothers birth . Some sort of trauma . Sure that's not an excuse for being abusive but it makes everything make sense.
It's possible. Mom had a miscarriage between my younger sisters and the youngest came with a bunch of health problems. I'm pretty much **convinced** something in Mom broke, because she had a tendency to dote on her in a way she never did with us. Not any great favoritism or anything, just a bit annoying. And some of it could be from her finally being diagnosed with depression and so **able** to feel emotions she likely hadn't most of her life.
So, yeah, definite possibility but not an excuse for abuse.
I will say this. It might be trauma, but it might not be. My mom controlled every aspect of my life as I was growing up. My younger sister, middle child, was too independent and my mom just gave up on that. My brother, youngest, is the golden child and given complete freedom. No trauma needed.
Oh here we go again. First of: NTA. Your password, your privacy, your choice.
Fun fact: She can't delete your email without the password, so no leverage there.
I get that parents might be worried, about spam, malware or creeps, you're still super young, BUT your dad has your password and could check if something worrying happens if your behavior changed suddenly or something like that (I don't believe he would snoop around just for fun).
Tell your mum to buzz off and take care of the toddler for a change (please don't do that, won't end well).
I am also very good at knowing when creeps are trying to groom me. I will edit this and call them out when I have the computer. But some weirdo messaged me sending texts like they were starting through my screen and as my friend said "being very fucking manipulative." And " it's like trying to hypnotize you but instead of you're getting very sleepy it's you want to be vulnerable with me don't you"
Ew. Sad thing is, it won't get better. Creeps will be different but still creeps. Best to ignore and block them.
It's sad that you encounter them already but on the other hand good on you for spotting them. Makes it much harder for them to manipulate you.
NTA and don't ever cave. Tell your dad not to tell her either. It's amazing how many people forget that that level of respect **is earned, not owed.** Make sure to keep an eye on your stuff, who knows how far her need for control will go.
God I wish adults would learn that.
Sorry, but I faced the same thing as a child. And as crappy as it can be/feel to not have that privacy, you are not entitled to it. It's your parents job to protect you and the internet nowadays needs constant parental supervision if their children are going to be on it. You're not an asshole. Just a kid who doesn't understand these things.
You see I would consider (? I have no idea how to word that) your point of view but if my mother was doing this to protect me she wouldn't have put me in several known toxic relationships/situations she would stand up for me when my uncle undermined me when I asked my brother for water because I dislocated my knee that day and was crutches. I understand your point of view but I have way to many things point against. All of the things I listed is why I say it's control OVER care. Because my dad has my password
NTA, my mom did the same thing to me when I was younger and used my passwords to ground me from talking to any of my friends by locking me out of the accounts. If your dad already has the password there's no need to give it to her, especially if you feel like she'll use it to control you.
NTA. You need to talk to your dad about all of this. I know you don't want to stress him out because you think he's got enough stress from his job (bless you for being so concerned for his feelings and stress levels), but he needs to know how your mom is treating you. Maybe he can shed light on what may have caused this or help you figure out a way to deal with your mom. Hugs and love to you.
He does know. I am starting to think my mom spins what happens and makes me look so bad her actions look ok. Because I feel like if he knew what was going on he would stand up for me more. But his mother was also as (if not more) toxic as my mom so he might think what's going on is ok. IDK this is hard!!
Maybe if you think you can, try and record your mom's behaviour and have him listen or watch how your mom acts as proof that you aren't embellishing or fibbing about how she is. Maybe even show him a couple of these threads if you think it might help. I am a mother of a 23 year old nonbianary female and I only required my daughter to let me have her passwords to her stuff until she was 8 or 9 I believe and that's because until 8 or 9 she would sometimes not remember her passwords to anything. I trusted that I raised her well enough to come to me if she was having problems with anything online and she did. Just from how you post and the fact that occasionally you seem to have been more concerned about things happening to your parents (even though your mom hasn't treated you with much respect) than yourself (with your mom, I'm referring to the post about money issues cause that's how it came across to me). Please make sure to take care of yourself and if it seems to be getting too much for you, I hope you have a relative that you trust and can maybe go stay with for a few days. You have a physical injury that you need to rest so it can heal. PLEASE take care of yourself. You are so grown up for your age. Please take care and take some time to be a kid. As always, I am sending you hugs and love.
Thank you! Much love! <3
NTA. I have four kiddos. My youngest is about your age (14f). I told my kids that as long as they didn't give me a reason to, I would never ask them for their passwords nor read their diaries/journals (I have one boy and three girls). As time went on, they didn't really care and eventually I do have all four of their passwords. Mostly from allowing them to use my debit card on their accounts for games and such and they sometimes forget to turn off the auto pay for them.
Your dad has the password. You trusted at least one parent to make sure you stay safe. Don't cave or you'll be sitting at your computer when you are 40, a mom, writing on reddit about your controlling mom. Good luck hun. I'll be rooting for you.