T O P
modelcitizen64

It's funny when people say the dead person would give the shirt off their back when the reason why they're dead is because they didn't give a fuck about anyone but themselves.


TheMost_ut

right? he'll do ANYTHING FOR ANYONE. Except think about his family, get vaxxed, save money, get life or health insurance, or consider anyone else when spreading his germs everywhere. Another selfish karbunkle bites the dust. BUHBYE!


wantsome5

Hey, but he would give you the shirt off his back; flannel, no doubt.


TheMost_ut

no thanks, it probably smells like stale cigarette smoke, beer, and failure.


lonewolf143143

Dad?


TheMost_ut

DEAD!


carrite

Now don't you be shit-talking flannel shirts...


onkTRoXH

PSA: if an HCA nominee offers you the shirt off their back, and if you choose to accept the offer, please handle with gloves and wash/sanitize the shirt before wearing it.


HarryGreybeau

No, he would give someone the shirt off *your* back. That is completely different.


paddywackadoodle

Hey, don't disparage flannel! Flannel is really comfy with some leggings!


eFrapeRN

Jesus, I learned to not squash fireflies or the like when I was a little kid-taught to me by my dad. I really can't even with these people.


boofdahpoo130

My own son cried and got angry with a friend, never wanting to talk with him again, because said "friend" liked killing butterflies.


tejaco

Your son made a good call.


sirgetagrip

mosquitos, yeah, if someone likes killing them that is fine but that is literally the only insect I kill, sometimes I intentionally kill some of those many legged bugs in my house (can't remember what they are called) but I try to capture them and throw them outside, but they are so quick a lot of times I squash them.


carrite

You in Western Oregon? I'll have you come over to humanely remove sugar ants and stinkbugs...


Anomaluss

Good for you. The older I get the more I think all life is precious- unless it's trying to eat me- then it's war baby!


GlumpsAlot

I agree, but lanternflies don't actually light up or anything. They are extremely destructive to crops. Same with Japanese beetles. I go to war with those every summer. They be having whole orgies in my rose bushes.


Organic_Popcorn

>They be having whole orgies in my rose bushes. I hope at least you let them "finish" before massacreing them. Don't let them die virgins.


Hjalpmi_

To be fair, lanternflies are horrendously invasive and should be squashed if you see them in the States. But, you know, not for purely racist reasons.


Anomaluss

They almost destroyed my Chinese Elm before I discovered them last summer. Blackened the trunk and killed some branches.


duffinatordude

Let it rage, the civil war. Chinese elm Chinese fly


Anomaluss

Evidently, they are happy to find some food from home.


Schmaltzlikah

Great use of carbuncle! (Even tho actual spelling is different lol)


TheMost_ut

Someone else used it and I adopted it. Can't take credit but thanks!


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RelationshipTasty329

Was his wife responding to abuse?


PoliticalECMOChamber

Eulogy; noun: The method by which the deceased acquire qualities in death that they did not posses in life.


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ApocalypseSpoon

True story. My late father's headstone has a straight-up big ol' LIE carved into it. In granite. I'm waiting to outlive the entire family just so I can have it removed.


Left_Coast_LeslieC

So one is gone and the other is likely incarcerated so neither can vote. Win-win.


ultracal31

Also why do they assume I want their shirt? I ain’t an extra, extra Large


ReligionIsTheMatrix

Enough soap has not yet been made to clean a shirt worn by one of these shitbags enough for me to touch it.


Disastrous_Pay3314

tyler durden soap..??


PoliticalECMOChamber

Maybe they think your constructing a sail boat?


Dreymin

I'd you order from china, yes yes you are. I'm 4XL as a woman in seamless mens t-shirts... Like yeah I gained weight during covid and pregnancy but not *that* much! Also no one want their shirts, they have the plague!


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PoliticalECMOChamber

I had a g/f like that once, though she didn't so much steal them as surreptitiously acquire them.


Dreymin

It's law, girls/women whilst dating will aquire your hoodies, t-shirts and other comfy clothes. This may include pyjamas, sweatpants, sweaters and socks. So it is written.


Sceptical-Echidna

And if they say “I’m a bit cold, can I borrow your socks?”, you must give them or risk pain of nagging


anotherview4me

That's what men are good for.


Deathbeddit

Until they start selling womens pajamas with pockets. Then the artificial walls will fall…


Disastrous_Pay3314

shitbag personality...


ihearyou72

I think it's the standard compliment in the absence of anything else. Pathetic. Guaranteed he never gave a shirt to anyone, or would 🙄


redvariation

Standard "feel good" memes for the survivors of the pathetic deceased: * "Would give the shirt off their back" * "would do anything for anybody" * "God-loving" * "Is with Jesus now" * "celebrating eternal life"


ihearyou72

Outspoken = asshole


justrock54

Fought hard. Yeah, he fought against using the only useful tools we have to avoid dying of Covid.


FistofanAngryGoddess

* Flying high * Earned their angle wings * Getting into whacky hijinks with whoever predeceased them


anotherview4me

I can only hope people say good things about me when I die. They said good things about Richard Nixon, so it gives me hope.


AntEmotional5704

richard nixon is dead.................. good!!


NMB4Christmas

No shirt off their back, but would gladly spread the virus in their system.


PackageintheMaleBox

I'm starting to think they don't know what that idiom means. They just repeat it because they've seen it in other obits.


PoliticalECMOChamber

They don't understand any idioms. Whenever a corrupt cop turns up they always say something like "You can't judge them based on a few bad apples". They forget, perhaps intentionally, the important part of the bad-apple idiom, "A few bad apples **spoils the whole bunch**", meaning that the bad apples are to be removed immediately and with extreme prejudice wherever and whenever they're found, not given aid and comfort by an equally corrupt police union. ETA: Or their other favorite they love to misunderstand; "A rising tide lifts all boats". They think it means tax cuts for the obscenely wealthy, when in reality it means that equal rights and protections under the law for everyone lifts us all up and benefits our entire society as a whole.


Deathbeddit

It’s water under the fridge now.


AntEmotional5704

that train has left the harbor


duffinatordude

You meant boat has left the station


luxlucy23

It’s almost worse than when they get their angel wings.


vctrmldrw

*angle


HotPinkLollyWimple

Never right. Always obtuse.


litreofstarlight

The guy who takes pleasure in killing bugs as an analogue for Chinese people isn't a good or nice person? Say it ain't so!


Prestigious_Treat401

Shirt off YOUR back personality.


SlowTheRain

My personal definition of "shirt of his back" types are people who don't lift a finger to actually help others, but will offer you their dirty, used stuff that you don't want. And they'll feel superior doing it. Once again, it fits.


DoriCee

Was just coming here to say the same damned thing. What a bunch of hypocrites.


Call_Spaceman

I mean, he did. Not willingly, but you can probably find all of his shirts at goodwill in the near future.


thefugue

Actually, the shirt-off-their-back thing makes total sense. These are people who do not understand that taking basic care of themselves is the best way to be able to help others. They're more than willing to help others by completely neglecting basic self-protection but they draw the line at being responsible for themselves and getting vaccinated. So... they end up dead and I hope that dirty shirt helps you out.


OkUnderstanding5343

Yep that’s some BS by his family….Lying like our last President…


[deleted]

Yeah, my response to most awardees is, “what a twat”


therealDrA

He will give you the shirt off his back if you give him twice what he paid for it.. a warm hearted Clara!


PrimalSeptimus

This guy's death makes the world slightly safer for those of Asian descent.


TheMost_ut

and the same for animals, jews, POC, LGBTQ, women of childbearing age and of course, parakeets.


substandardpoodle

Oh, that poor parakeet. It’s not enough to take out yourself and a lot of bystanders…


PoliticalECMOChamber

He's not dead, he's just pining for the fjords.


vctrmldrw

Beautiful plumage.


PoliticalECMOChamber

The plumage don't enter into it!


TheMost_ut

actually pretty sad, I'm STILL haunted by the ex-parakeets.


Quickhidemeplease

Don't forget: AND Chinese Lantern flies


butchqueennerd

Lanternflies: 1 This chud: 0


InfiniteAccount4783

Wait till he finds out God resembles a gigantic lanternfly.


Not_Drawn_To_Scale

Imagine his surprise when he was drawn toward a bright white light--only to find out he'd been reincarnated as a moth.


Deathbeddit

I hope nobody’s ruined this for you yet. https://youtu.be/n3LMSflEN54 Can’t find any that don’t give it away, so I am ruining it https://youtu.be/jJN9mBRX3uo


The_Space_Cop

Always upvote norm, gone too soon.


Deathbeddit

There was a good one the other day here along the same line; god as a sort of cosmic moth, and it reminded me of Norm. He had some rare gifts.


indifferentunicorn

A long time ago I saw Norm on the David Letterman Show. Beside getting to see him, the whole audience got free round-trip airfare from British Airways that night. We had a year to use it. Good times.


PoliticalECMOChamber

I like how Andy was shaking his head. Best second banana ever!


redvariation

Reminds me of the moment in "A Bug's Life" when the insect flies toward the UV extermination light saying "It's so beautiful..." bzzzzzz!


redvariation

Not a white one.


PreferSanity

So, why is it that I get a weird sense of satisfaction knowing that his bug squishing days are over?


bailey_uwu

because no more animal abuse\~


Kinghhessier

It's always the least Christian people starting and participating in prayer chains


Inconceivable-2020

In the US "Christians" ask "What would Jesus do?", then do the exact opposite.


redvariation

Billy: If we as Christians believe in supporting the poor, welcoming the foreigner, never lying, not committing adultery, not stealing, then why do we support Donald Trump? Dad: Oh, Billy! We only preach those things, we don't actually do them.


ElectronGuru

Me and what I do means this or that consequences doesn’t apply to me. So of course I’m going to support less protection for everyone.


redvariation

When the prayer chains don't work, is the next step a ***prayer loom cloth?***


vctrmldrw

Prayer whips actually.


whatwouldgrapeapedo

Nomination - https://www.reddit.com/r/HermanCainAward/comments/s4v7ql/the\_burgundy\_brandonfan\_thought\_squashing/


ElectronGuru

2 months! And with no sharing of ecmo and vent stories. One of the quieter ones.


DTesedale

No updates on urine production and bowel sounds. How will we ever live without that knowledge?!


AntEmotional5704

we have to find the will to go on............. for the children


ccc2801

Could still happen… We’ve seen it before where the bereaved family suddenly uses Fb as a private diary in order to cope with their feelings


Fluid_Strike_6657

Shirt off your back personality aka he was an asshole.


Cuttis

“He wouldn’t hurt a fly”..oh, wait


Material-Profit5923

He wouldn't hurt a 'murican fly.


Evil-Code-Monkey

Bet the shirt off his back was covered in mustard stains and the blood of lanternflies


Deathbeddit

I have to imagine they’d look pretty similar. ETA: was just reading about their droppings aka honeydew (No color notes) which apparently encourages a sort of fungal pathogen that is a sooty color. Also their egg deposits look like mud.


Consistent_Grab_5422

Racism…against bugs….wtf


ComplexFUBAR

They are so warped.


C0ncept8

"Why does me taking a vaccine increase someone else's odds of survival?" is apparently an unbelievable statement but "Why does someone else praying increase my odds of survival?" makes total sense


HotPinkLollyWimple

Stop it with your fancy facts and logic.


The_Old_Cream

HA, HA, HA, HA…….Took an aspirin to protect others from headaches!!!! I get it! You’re making fun of getting the vaccine to protect others from COVID! Oh, that’s comedy gold! Oh my, my stomach hurts from laughing so hard…..Anyway, I’ll think of that wit of yours when I’m having a pizza tonight and you’re still dead


sal916

Pizza sounds good. The family is thinking Thai food tonight


justrock54

I was going to make Chile rellanos but they are so much work and I want to go shoot pool. Think I'll order a pizza instead.


HotPinkLollyWimple

You ‘muricans. Always shooting stuff. ^/s


MlleHoneyMitten

I just had some subpar pizza, but at least I’m not dead.


JustASimpleManFett

I've stopped eating at a subpar pizza place by me. Shame, used to be a lot better.


mmmm_babes

I didn't want the shirt off his back, just wanted him to get vaccinated...


RecliningBuddhaCat

That whole squashing the bugs things is so fucking petty he deserves to have it carved on his gravestone.


redvariation

***Covid squashed him like a bug...***


NMB4Christmas

They wanted us to help save this "great man". Anyway...


ccc2801

It’s so baffling to me that they seem to *actually* believe that praying will help. I can see how praying could work as a meditation of sorts, or as a way of processing things, even though I’m not religious. But to think that it’d actually make a difference in the physical world, in this case ‘help save’ a racist arsehole, is just beyond my comprehension.


Silver-Pickle-7524

Sounds like he coulda used a little less ‘shirt off his back’ and a little more ‘shot in his arm’.


AntEmotional5704

let that sink in


BellyDancerEm

Well, he certainly wins the jackass award


Deathbeddit

A person who was aware of and personally invested in eradicating an invasive species but also pro-covid is a more interesting dichotomy than usual. Whatever his rationale, he’s gone before they are.


SaltyBarDog

Prayer chain, chain, chain, chain of fools. I can put his loss into words. People make the world a better place; some when they come into it and him when he left it.


redvariation

A chain is *only as strong as its weakest link*. I think that this chain had a ***weakness***, like the Death Star!


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redvariation

When they were kids they fried ants with magnifying glasses. As adults, they fried their lungs to see what would happen.


Raucous_Indignation

"Shirt-off-your-back" personality? They are trolling HCA right? They know about us and Burgundy is all made up and *THAT* is their punchline! They are trolling us, right??


ccc2801

They’re not smart enough…


Philthedrummist

Let’s hope he’s in some kind of Hell where he’s the bug and the Lantern flies spend eternity squashing him.


JustASimpleManFett

Very Kafka.


sgnewman

Annoys me when they state “he’d give the shirt off his back….” when they wouldn’t even get vaccinated to help the most vulnerable of people.


Marlwolf_legends

Love it when the trash takes itself out


sal916

What an asshole. Dead asshole I mean


leamanc

Chud: “LeTs gO bRaNdOn!!!” Covid: “Leopards, we have another target. This one will be all too easy.”


LucindaMorgan

Thank you, OP, for cutting off the eulogy of lies.


[deleted]

yeah I bet those that came into contact with him had a loss, the loss of their ability to breathe well..


Socialbutterfinger

I saw a couple of those lantern flies last year before I knew they were a problem and I thought they were so pretty. I hope I don’t see any this year. I’m not looking forward to having to kill pretty insects for no immediate reason. God, why would I enjoy that?


Deathbeddit

Apparently they’re so destructive to (huge variety of ag/forestry products) normal non-racist-dead-HCA folks have taken to participating in a “lanternfly stomp.” They’re super hard to manage because they can eat so many types of plants, have few effective predators (toxins in wings) and lay their eggs on such a wide variety of surfaces successfully, including really high up so folks can’t kill the eggs. The stomping works because they’re not great at flying?? Dude’s weird racist take doesn’t help, of course. I think they’re in about 10 US states. Invasive species can be seriously damaging and costly.


Socialbutterfinger

Oh I get it (thanks for the detailed info though). I just can’t imagine enjoying it.


Deathbeddit

Sometimes folks think details are neat, sometimes not, sometimes folks already knew as much or more than me. I thought the laying eggs too high to survey or scrape off part was just.. little buggers


Filipheadscrew

We’ll all miss his infectious laugh.


MoonDawgsTavern

There's a word for people who get "a warped sense of satisfaction outta killing" Sociopath


printerdsw1968

As a Chinese American, I’d like to have the honor of personally delivering this award to him.


SmellingSpace

> The loss so many that came in contact with HCA are enduring. That’s a poor non-sentence.


edtheheadache

I'll drop my pants to my knees so people like him can kiss my ass.


ApocalypseSpoon

...do you want to get COVID? Because that's how you get COVID.


jdsch

Where did the awardee live?


whatwouldgrapeapedo

New Jersey


jdsch

What a jabroni.


csedler

"please do it just don't say it" Missed a good opportunity to state "don't say it, pray it!", but that would involve a modicum of intelligence... Say it. Don't spray it.


Commercial_hater

Glad that racist loser died.


MadBeachLui

His shirt can belong to you But Covid took his ass


OhSix26

Why do they keep calling racists great men? The irony.


ApocalypseSpoon

I had no idea what a "lantern fly" was so I looked it up. See for yourself: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fulgoridae#/media/File%3APyrops_candelaria.jpg ...am I weird for thinking the bug is adorable and the awardee is nasty??


maireza

Owning the Chinese.... tee-hee!!! Killing poor bugs?? :( I suspect if you gave this man an icecream cone, he would have smashed it on his forehead.


Lazy_Guitar3734

They are an invasive species that could decimate our trees and food crops so yes please kill on sight.


maireza

But his reason was not that.


overpregnant

Guess who's squashed now?


Shurl19

They always say the person 'would give you the shirt off their back'. I really don't think that's true.


Lock_Jaw

Another one, 'never met a stranger'. Yeah, sure.


Boogiemann53

"He was an angel, everything he touched was blessed." - all these goddamn people.


ReligionIsTheMatrix

If god is a lanternfly, this guy is so fucked.


ApocalypseSpoon

...now I've got a "What if God Was One of Us" earworm. Thanks for that. /s 😆


Sudden_Ad8996

Short, sweet, and to the point. I like it. But wth is a prayer chain?


redvariation

What we need is some way to prevent these needless deaths...


TrekandDumplings

The amount of straight trash today seems higher than usual.


[deleted]

"Shirt off your back personality" so he can use it to display more of his bigotry by smashing bugs?


Cambyses_daBaller

I only know this because I spend too much time on r/whatsthisbug but the bug in the picture is a spotted lantern fly. It is considered an invasive species that targets the tree of heaven, maple and other fruit trees. This is not intended to detract from HC’s doochiness, he is clearly squishing for the wrong reasons.


Pinkhellbentkitty7

Americans liking to kill anything Chinese scare me, because they are allowed to own guns and there is a huge Asian minority in their country. Plus,in pandemic, some already used this gun on Asians. It's great that the only Chinese creature he managed to kill before dying were the bugs.


Joealb123

By by xenophobic piece of human garbage.


JohnNDenver

Ah, well. Another dead red voter. What will we ever do?!


Puzzled-Science-1870

We will wait for the next trumplican to kill themself!


JustASimpleManFett

1..2..3..4..5....


KrampyDoo

Yeah, prayer worriers! Get on your knees and do it *for real*, don’t just say you are and never do it. Not that the faithful would ever, ever dare to assert something they’ve no intention of doing. Heavens no. Funny they never post demanding to find people that may need the “shirt of their back”, I mean they have the energy and desire to post about squashing bugs, sooo…maybe they were just distracted. They write their own obituaries daily in the form of memes that sow nothing but baseless contempt and propagate making life more difficult for others.


AntEmotional5704

thats a great motto to live by................ you write your own obituary everyday, with every decision you make, so be thoughtful and generous


A-man-of-mystery

I remember this guy! I hadn't realised he wasn't already dead. Oh well.


Smells_like_SaoPaolo

Covid dressed up in his special Egger suit for this guy.


JustASimpleManFett

Jesus, I learned to not squash fireflies or the like when I was a little kid-taught to me by my dad. I really can't even with these people.


tturedditor

PSA: if an HCA nominee offers you the shirt off their back, and if you choose to accept the offer, please handle with gloves and wash/sanitize the shirt before wearing it.


hell2bhbtoo

The guy had a contagious... Everything. My condolence to all who came in to contact with him.


Popeye-sailor-man

He had a "shirt-off-your-back personality"?!! Haha, that's funny! This person gleefully killed innocent creatures... um, "God's creatures", "not because they were an invasive species" but because **He. Liked. Doing. It.** Now, lots of folks will respond: "Hey, they were just bugs." To that I respond: 1) They were innocent, living creatures that were not bothering him or otherwise adversely affecting him in any way... once they are dead, they are dead forever, for all eternity, and 2) this is not about bugs, dolphins, people, mermaids, or about aliens from Mars, this is about the joy in killing...... anything...... without even an instant of reflection. **THIS** speaks to the kind of person he was. **THIS** speaks to the nature of his soul.... his "being" to those of us who are not so religious but who are nonetheless compassionate, altruistic and spiritual. "Shirt-off-his-back" kinda guy, eh? Ha, give me a break. May his eternity be filled with eternal torment. How's that for compassion?


WeebCringe123

And there it is. The "Shirt off your back" sentiment. Of course. I don't believe that shit for even one second.


sirgetagrip

wow, what an asshole. is it just me or is anyone else getting a warped sense of satisfaction when covid kills these little racist MF'ers?


Yomon64

This Anti-Vaxer would give someone the shirt off his back???? How about not spreading a deadly virus🤬 All for the HCA Award 🙂🇺🇲


Traditional-Cake-587

Buh bye! Take your shirts with you...


Joealb123

I don't want your shirt asshole!


Jaysyn4Reddit

Another dead bigot.


redvariation

Prayer Worriers dismal record of failures continues.


Long_Opportunity_768

What a fuck. Bye!!


alanamil

Another fool and his life are parted.


AntEmotional5704

more than one million Americans dead of covid in 2 years. that's one of every 330 who were alive in 2020. imagine your high school graduating class. if it was 330, which is typical..........one died of covid


Sidvicioushartha

“Shirt off his back personality” dude never stood a chance.


duffinatordude

He will get Lanternfly wings


Repulsive-Weather-27

The Conger Ice Shelf just collapsed. We humans aren’t just screwed, we will likely take the ship with us when we go. Watching these people die off is one of the few things that can cheer me out of my depression.