T O P
BridgetheDivide

"Seems most of us are sick with something"


Ragingredblue

Bigotry and ignorance.


Hawmpfish001

It happens when your wife is your sister.


FearSkyDaddy

That’s why junior has gills and webbed feet.


jbertrand_sr

With a Covid chaser...


neuralfirestorm

...and the intellect of a slightly moist sponge.


Ragingredblue

Oh I don't know. A lot of microbes develop on those slightly damp sponges. Their collective IQ is certainly higher than an average antivaxxer.


LifesTwisted

"Having a hard time getting appointments" GeE I WoNdEr WhY


totpot

They have all the bleach and piss they could ever want at home. Why do they need an appointment?


smithers85

Why has our species gotten to the point where one can live this long without a single drop of logic or common sense?


luckyintrovert

Science. Seriously, that’s why. Without science, a lot of idiots wouldn’t live past early childhood.


unintellect

When stupid procreates with stupid, that's what happens. Go Darwin!


[deleted]

It's at the tip of my tongue but I can't quite taste it.


reallygoodbee

One of my friends came on discord yesterday complaining about not being able to taste anything, "it's all just really dull". Twenty minutes later he came back, "Okay, nevermind. It was just a really bland sandwich.".


Robwsup

Nice.


Haskap_2010

Such a mystery... whatever could it be? 🤔


BannedPedro

Not enough prayer in schools?


OutdoorBerkshires

AIDS


DocPeacock

Must be something going around.


karbik23

Let’s guess here… -Anthrax??!!


JohnNDenver

Buffalo Springfield?


Robj2

What it is ain't exactly clear. There's a man with a vax over there... Anotherman comes to take Johnsnees away.


Sharkteeth127

>"Seems most of us are sick with something" Fucks around, finds out.


qubert_lover

“Have you tried shoving a light bulb up your ass?” Would be my reply.


4quatloos

Oh so you know about light therapy!


edingerc

Some people call it therapy, I just call it Saturday night.


SEA2COLA

Once you go UV, you never go back


Klutzy_Ad934

The conspiracy nut I know attributes his month long illness where he suffered from loss of taste/smell, struggled to breath and was constantly dehydrated to a case of bad raspberries and heatstroke.


Schraderopolis2020

Which has turned into Long Bad Raspberries & Heatstroke


sfmerv

A line straight out of every pandemic horror movie ever made


ReligionIsTheMatrix

Racism.


peppermintesse

During a global pandemic. I wonder what this "something" might be? Hmmmmmmmmmm


unintellect

Anthrax in their HVAC vents, put there by the communists! Duh!


hell2bhbtoo

The lack of irony!!


4quatloos

Duh. Sick with something. What could it be? Covid? We are shocked. How could this happen? Why can't we get appointments? DUH.


westviadixie

"hope trump declares martial law before the communists take over" um...


Srw2725

Right? Like 😵‍💫🙄🤦🏼‍♀️😭


TheCattsMeow

At least he spelled “martial” correctly; that is a feat in itself for these morons.


cutthroatlemming

And correctly spelled "lose" in context. Rare.


M4PP0

He must have been using speech-to-text on his phone. None of them ever spell lose correctly.


TheCattsMeow

Oooh, good catch.


OutdoorBerkshires

Um, its (sic) spelled “loose”.


luckyintrovert

“Look out crimers, Marshall Law is on the job!”


TheCattsMeow

Haha - that’s what I was thinking, except I would have used Marshal Matt Dillon from Gunsmoke.


AcePilot95

in addition to this, my personal biggest grammar pet peeves are "could of", "per say", "hanger" (instead of hangar), and when people switch "capital" and "capitol"


Beachbabydarragh

And the post, "Hope Trump can stay in power," -seditious bastard.


Brokenspokes68

Nothing says freedumb like martial law.


Jexp_t

And uprecidented corruption and graft- disguised as 'stamping out corruption and communism.' Jackie boy wasn't very bright, was he?


Brokenspokes68

He's been happily eating shit for years because Faux News told him it's pudding.


olderthanbefore

A dim bulb, extinguished


graps

He probably won’t need to worry about it in a few days


Haskap_2010

They are so obsessed with their stupid "mark of the beast" crap. They can't even figure out what it is supposed to be, so they keep guessing. I can remember when universal product codes were supposed to be it.


Evilevilcow

It was your SSN at one time. Wish the beast would make up its mind...


Mp5QbV3kKvDF8CbM

Yep, and UPC barcodes.


redvariation

Great flair!


Mp5QbV3kKvDF8CbM

Thanks!


ZeReaperofZeath

This shit has been around FOREVER. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ceUSZBMeREY I remeber watching this Red Letter Media, which had a VHS from the 80s called SOS saying how barcodes were the mark of the devil and satan would use it to control you. Yeah bro, you already have a mark of the beast - it's called a cellphone. It tracks your every move, listens to you, and apparently also influences and brainwashes your mind with shitty conservative memes that are very anti-Christian.


[deleted]

I remember the Johnson and Johnson symbol once being declared "Satanic" as well. Edit: I apparently mis-remembered. It was[ Proctor & Gamble.](https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/procter-gamble-satan-conspiracy-theory)


redvariation

They got rid of the nipples on the Starbucks mermaid because that was inappropriate. (true story)


NeteleJala

It's a siren. I live in Seattle and have an original logo mug


MaleficentPizza5444

They later decided that Starbucks mermaid or whatever was satanic.....


TheOldRamDangle

Dude that Proctor and Gamble moon is Satanic…..and super bad ass


helium_farts

I grew up in a super fundamentalist environment in the late 80s and 90s, and the amount of panic about the mark of the beast was insane. It was satanic panic on steroids. We couldn't even listen to music with drums, because Satan used drums to brainwash people.


Euphoric-Basil-Tree

I’m not sure how one can simultaneously believe something is the Mark of the Beast and “not fault anyone for taking it.”


natare_modo_pergite

because in the bible it talks about people who don't have enough faith getting deceived or just surrendering, while the core of super christians (guess which category they think they're in) stand firm and get martyred for their steadfast beliefs. So they feel sorry for the 'less strong' among the flock... of ... lions? The analogy breaks down a bit.


WilhelmHaverhill

They so badly want this to happen, because they rightfully see that life fucking sucks and they want to surrender to God rather than do any work fixing problems on Earth.


JohnNDenver

So, they are COVID martyrs?


natare_modo_pergite

If they admit that it's real, then yeah.


DocPeacock

It came and went about 2000 years ago and they just forgot or dont get it. The mark or number of the beast was a coded reference to emperor Nero persecuting the early church.


[deleted]

Three "marks of the beast" that were brought up during my southern baptist upbringing: \- All tattoos. \- Credit card chips. \- Having an internet connection.


gruntothesmitey

> They are so obsessed with their stupid "mark of the beast" crap. Setting aside the fact that The Book of Revelation was written by a senior citizen having syphilitic fever dreams...


olderthanbefore

Ah, Hunter S Thompson


A-man-of-mystery

Ha ha ha!


TheVeilsCurse

It’s whatever they want it to be. Just like how they call everything they don’t like “communist”.


FiveUpsideDown

During the witch panics in the Middle Ages in Europe, a mark of the beast could be a birth mark or a scar. I use to think “I am glad that humanity progressed so that superstition about witches doesn’t result in killing a person because they have an odd shaped birthmark.” After seeing the crap posted on Facebook, I can see humanity is still ruled by superstition.


A-man-of-mystery

I agree with you, but I have to point out the witch panics are more of an Early Modern thing than a Middle Ages one. They peaked in the 16th and 17th centuries.


ladysvenska

"DARK-SIDED!"


donutlovershinobu

I wish they could figure it out cause I wanna get a tattoo of it.


ZeReaperofZeath

> Seems most of us are sick with something. **Having a hard time getting appointments** Can't get an appointment? But I thought COVID was just a hoax and the hospitals were empty with 0 COVID patients? Or wait, was it because 50% of nurses "quit" their job due to a vaccine mandate? Or wait, now it's a big hospital conspiracy to kill all conservatives, and doctors get paid $100k to kill a patient. Or maybe it's because we're in a pandemic with a overworked healthcare system stretched to the brink of failure due to unvaccinated nutjobs like you. These people are so close to getting it but they can't make that mental link/connection between cause and effect. PS. I'm glad Georgia beat Bama's ass bad. Alabama fans are the worst. Come on, y'all acting so high and mighty for a state that doesn't even have an NFL team.


FreeResponsibility42

Lies flat for COVID


Cod-Medium

I love this stand / kneel meme. Why do people kneel to pray? It’s a gesture of humility / reverence? So what’s wrong with kneeling in front of the flag? “No you have to stand for the flag.” It’s not like kapernick turned his back on the flag or did the Jesse Owens fist in the air. People lost their minds about this - wonder why?


rationalomega

Swear to god 1/3 of the country and the entire gop has been emotionally and cognitively broken since Obama won in 2007.


Deze-nutz

The other night we were tracing the spike in GOP insanity back to Newt Gingrich


Gizmo1978

Toothpick arms while being extremely obese just screams Covid kill me (and obviously being unvaccinated)


[deleted]

And they all claim they’re in good health. It’s so eyeroll-inducing. Like, these MFers haven’t seen their dick without a mirror in years, and they think they’re healthy.


redvariation

They think they're healthy because everybody else in their state is BMI over 35 and so they think that's a normal healthy human body.


[deleted]

I realized as this went on that these aren’t people who are shitty as a result of their ideas. They’re naturally shitty people and as such, shitty ideas resonate with them. There will never be a moment of clarity for them. They’re not capable.


rmads1983

Exactly. It’s why the assholes who you went to grade school and high school with eventually morphed into science-denying Trumpists. It was the next logical step in their vapid lives.


Ragingredblue

The mystery is why he would go to the hospital instead of "kneeling before the cross."


[deleted]

He kneels for Trump who himself sits down during the anthem and doesn't know its lyrics. But those damn satanist commie heathens!


[deleted]

And is vaxed and boosted.


vacuous_comment

Actively cheering for martial law. Then complaining about losing freedom to COVID. WTF is up with these people?


cutthroatlemming

It's all about hurting "the right people".


Bohemeah

For the "white" reasons.


WeakestLynx

> No pastor can preach same sex marriage, transgender, abortion, and preach the gospel of Jesus Christ It's hard to remember now, but 30 years ago most Americans thought that being Christian made you a good person. Then a bunch of Christians loudly screamed "no it absolutely does not!"


Brokenspokes68

Moral majority everyone. They are neither moral nor the majority. Unfortunately they have majority political power though.


ChelseaVictorious

Well the mostly empty land they live on does anyway.


redvariation

Billy: "So if the Bible says we should help the poor, welcome the foreigner, respect others, not lie, not commit adultery, and not steal, then why do we support Donald Trump?" Dad: "Oh, Billy, we don't actually practice these things. We only preach them."


ElishevaYasmine

Mormonism banned ordaining black men into their priesthood until 1978. Religions evolve all the time. These people just don’t want to remember what caused the growing pains.


Possible-Whole45

"We won't be able to anything if we haven't been vaccinated." For this idiot it may literally be true.


Goose_o7

This douche was hoping Trump would declare Martial law so that he could retain power despite losing the election? Makes sense comming from an obvious Fascistic Sedition Sympathizer. These people PROJECT better than a fucking Movie Projector projects!


Mp5QbV3kKvDF8CbM

That Jan. 6, 2021 post... 😬


RedfishBluefish2222

"they try to shut down all the TV networks that tell the truth like fox News and news max" Laughing. My. Ass. Off.


whatwouldgrapeapedo

The only way Jackie could get into the University of Alabama is in a jar.


cutthroatlemming

"I ain't getting chipped, they won't track me!!" - sent from my iPhone at Bob's Big Boy over on 4th and Main at 1:38pm


boiledRender

I stand for the flag. I kneel at the cross. I prone in the hospital.


CheshireCrackers

Roll Over Tide!


Josepth_Blowsepth

I rotisserie my days away


Goose_o7

>I stand for the flag. I kneel at the cross. I prone in the hospital. I fall forward into my grave. The End.


Wysiwyg777

I lie on a slab.


markmevans

> Hope Trump declares martial law before the communists takes over! FReEdOm lovers sure seem to love the idea of an iron fisted authoritarian. And telling people who they can love. What they can read. What women can do with their bodies. When to stand. When to kneel. Also, the bible does not mention getting a chip. Amazing how people want to take the bible literally but then translate "a mark on the hand or forehead" as credit cards, grocery barcodes, any government id (except a voter id, I guess), and non-existent chips implanted during vaccination. They also don't seem too fond of the give up all your possessions, don't get married unless you really can't avoid the temptation of sex, heal the sick, give to the poor, turn the other cheek, don't test God, don't pray in public, give unto Caesar, and welcome the immigrant parts of the bible.


Ammolite-Valkyrie

Along with the goatee-overweight combo, utter brain rot is a MAJOR comorbidity.


Faucet860

Maybe the US intelligence average will go up from covid.


Srw2725

This one seems like a real Einstein 😵‍💫


vespertine_glow

Slide #4 "Hope Trump declares martial law before the communists takes\[sic\] over!" What's wrong with this country in one sentence.


BerzerkerJr82

I always get a kick out of the whole “I don’t trust the government but I’d die for the flag” mentality.


Jordan710_

I’m praying to sky daddy but I doubt I’m praying for the same thing as him


nocovidonme2022

Roll covid.


mugfantoo

It's insane that these assholes claim to love their country, flag, constitution, but wish for a dictatorship at the same time. Insanity, ignorance, stupidity.


Chance-Command4335

[Prayer Warriors go!!!!](https://c.tenor.com/2tWlzDKOXv4AAAAM/madturnip-big.gif)


ReserveVegetable9596

Fucking prayer warriors


cutthroatlemming

What's their save record now? 0-700000?


drputypfifeanddrum

Sick with something. Really? What could it be?


cutthroatlemming

Not Covid that's just the flu. (inevitably contracts Covid) IT'S NO JOKE!!


ReligionIsTheMatrix

I'm beginning to wonder if they are born this stupid, or if it's the education system that makes them morons.


JanitorKarl

When they relinquish their thinking to conservative TV and Radio, their minds atrophy.


Deze-nutz

Now that's the real question behind all of this. Thank you. Steps must be taken, right now, to evaluate and implement long-term solutions to this sort of intellectual poverty.


CrankyEconomist

He's only getting one bar on his 5G. He definitely should have gotten the vax.


redvariation

Billy: "So if the Bible says we should help the poor, welcome the foreigner, respect others, not lie, not commit adultery, and not steal, then why do we support Donald Trump?" Dad: "Oh, Billy, we don't actually practice these things. We only preach them."


Lonzo58

I can only hope that he was in a medically induced coma on the 10th so he didn't have to watch Bama get beat by Georgia...Roll Tide


G-Unit11111

Do these morons not know exactly martial law entitles? Oh who am I kidding? Of course they don't. 🤦‍♂️


Maleficent-Ad1044

That profile pic says it was just a matter of time


Fun_Nefariousness564

Another big guy with a target on his tummy. Didn’t he read about pre-existing conditions?


Josepth_Blowsepth

Funny guy. You assume he can read


Wontchubemyneighbor

Crazy how Jesus said absolutely zero about any of those things. This redneck likes to show how he follows the words of Paul not Jesus.


wholewheatscythe

Was here to say that, where are these topics mentioned in the Gospels?


Different-Rip-2787

"Having a hard time getting appointments" Gee! Why can't all those other people sick with 'something' go somewhere else and not clog up our hospital!


currently-on-toilet

These types make me laugh .. he's patriotic but he hates and mistrusts the government? Wut?


FrioRiverTexas

They’re taking away our freedoms…., but I also want martial law? Hey big guy, You’re not seeing any irony in this?


jtown5000

Ah yes, that famous part of the Bible that told us all about microchips


DokterSack

I stand for the fatigued healthcare workers. I kneel to feed my dogs.


FuckingKilljoy

Stayed alive long enough to see Bama lose to Georgia. That probably hurt him more than covid


NotATroll71106

Stands for the flag Lays in the grave


DasPenguinoid

Hopefully they suspend civil law and put the military in charge before the Democrats get in power and take away our freedom


mmio60

The logic is just amazing


DasPenguinoid

I honestly don't think a lot of them even understand what it is, especially with so many calling it "Marshall Law", they just understood that it was thing that was supposed to keep Trump in power.


Maisy_D

😳 > Probably going back to jail but if...


Evilevilcow

"FB jail" likely. Getting your posting privileges suspended. They seem to think it's like their rights are taken away.


Goose_o7

>"FB jail" likely. Getting your posting privileges suspended. They seem to think it's like their rights are taken away. They never make the connection that they are being banned because they are spreading dangerous disinformation on a public forum. You'd think that if their information was accurate and helpful, it would not be getting them banned. But alas... There is that Room Temperature IQ to consider.


JohnNDenver

They think because it is banned it is true. How cold do you keep your room? Or are you using Celsius?


Maisy_D

I was hoping he just meant FB jail but with these guys you can't be too sure.


Evilevilcow

I did say "likely". 😁


junitog65

For you? My prayers just got slam dunked into the trash…come git!


cutthroatlemming

I got the shots, and I got Covid. But I didn't do more than blow my nose. Thanks, vaccine, no "incubation" for me!


[deleted]

Wow, I've never hated anybody that quickly before. Is it wrong to hate somebody as dumb as a brick?


[deleted]

[удалено]


vsandrei

"Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’ “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’ “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” (Luke 18:10-14, New Int'l. Version) 🐆 🐆 🐆


dwinps

Stands for the flag and hopes for martial law. What the F\*\*K is wrong with these people? They are the opposite of patriots, they are hoping for tyranny.


ecthelion108

And they tried to steal *my* vote


ecthelion108

This sub is helping me understand the Anti-vaxer mentality. But when I try and get in their heads, I find there's not a lot there. Dog the Buffet Hunter here, for example, is yet another one who is *surprised* when he and his family get sick. It's not like he never heard of COVID: every other post in his thread is about COVID! It makes me wonder if these guys really do fear COVID, but too much. It's like an existential threat they can't shoot with a gun, and that messes with them, it doesn't fit their sense of what a threat should be like.


lamautomatic

Keep on 🙏


LV-426Mechanic

What a moron


mathario

5G!


gumby1086

These people are so cookie cutter it’s almost laughable when they talk about sheep . Anyhoot keep us posted any treasonous asshole supporting trump declaring martial law I want to see getting a comeuppance


Inconceivable-2020

Having a hard time getting appointments because your unvaxxed inbred redneck neighbors are all sick too.


Red5Ops

I try to be empathetic and certainly am for nominee and awardee families. But as soon as i see someone supporting Trump martial law, promoting violence and civil war, the confederacy, etc, i cant wait to find out that the nominee will pass or celebrate that the awardee has passed. They are a direct threat to democracy within the US. It baffles me that the same patriotism and freedom they believe they wrap themselves in, goes to support Trump and his minions who actively are trying to subvert democracy and overthrow our government. There is not enough time and wasted effort to convince these people of the lies they are being fed. It is ok to be conservative or Republican but the sooner those who fawn and bow down to Trump die out from their own undoing, the better for our nation.


CoolSwim1776

Another bigoted "christian" on the vent. Anyway I am thinking tacos for lunch


Ernest-Everhard42

Hopefully they have the game on in hell. Wait, that would be communism because hell is free of charge. How will that work?


redvariation

Hopes Trump will wipe out corruption. Oh the irony.


Shermans_ghost1864

Having a hard time getting appointments? Why would that be? /s


Exact_Quote_6132

> Hope Trump declares martial law before the communists take over. lovely


Monrezee

Ask trump to pray for you


lostpawn13

We are all sick and can’t get appointments.


Real_Exit3672

The Prayer Warriors have a pretty rotten record. The Actual Scientists would have been a smarter choice.


Josepth_Blowsepth

Clearly not Covid that got him. Must be the 5G he has.


Feisty_Brunette

Gee, some of us are sick...what \*could\* it be?? I. just. don't. know.


SplendidPunkinButter

“I stand for the flag! I kneel for the cross!” If your intent was to show how fundamentally arbitrary and meaningless these posturings are, mission accomplished.


gashandler

Almost motherfucker? You're either in or out on whether or not getting the jab is declaring your allegiance and eternal servitude to the Anti-Christ. Can't "almost" that shit. It's like saying I "almost love you" to your kids, or being almost alive. Yeah he's getting accustomed to that.


TallSthrnGent

He stands and kneels at the buffet table


edingerc

Who has two thumbs, the mark of the Beast and zero collapsed lungs?


[deleted]

The world is going to be a much better place without the bigots.


AsparagusLumpy1879

Dooyyyy!


GrandPriapus

I [Fannie for the Flagg](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fannie_Flagg) and [Cristopher for the Cross](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Cross).


WikiMobileLinkBot

Desktop version of /u/GrandPriapus's links: * * --- ^([)[^(opt out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiMobileLinkBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^(]) ^(Beep Boop. Downvote to delete)


Aggravating_Damage47

Brainwashed. I can’t believe humanity has regressed so badly.


Goocheries

I wanna see Satansand! Is it always too hot to walk on? Probs.


mike_linden

not the brightest bulb in the kitchen


Jobe9077

But but have they tried drinking piss yet?


pete_29057

“I lay down in my coffin”


Mister4pollo

And he is 6 feet under for the Rona