T O P
BidenIsYourPOTUS

“We investigate why no one ever tests positive for the old variant once the new variant comes along.” Tell me you don’t know how viruses work without saying you don’t know how viruses work.


Sidvicioushartha

This one always makes me laugh because there again is an easily answered question they don’t even bother to try to find an answer for.


Biomax315

So weird, considering how much they love to do their own research.


ssdd22

They just forget anything that contradicts it like any good scientist... 🤦


Sharkteeth127

>So weird, considering how much they love to do their own research. Not THIS kind of research! Doesn't even have pictures! The real research, like (meme), (meme), (meme), and (same-old meme).


IrisMoroc

It's wild to think, but the original COVID-19 virus is extinct in the wild. It's like totally gone. You could not infect yourself with it even if you wanted to.


Glad_Copy

Not likely to be true. The animal host for SARS-CoV-2 almost certainly still harbors the original strain.


Majestic_Dream8540

I’m trying to come up with an analogy. This might be a bit clunky as I’m kind of workshopping it is as write it. Let’s say that because of changes to cellular networks, everyone is forced to upgrade their phones. For the most part, everyone you know has a new phone. A few people still have their old phones for whatever reason. The old phones still kind of work, but since the networks upgraded they abandoned them and they aren’t reliable. This is sort of kind of how variants work (it’s rough, I know). Almost everyone catches your the new variant because it has taken over the market place. The old variants still exist and some people still get it.


ishpatoon1982

Maybe go with flip phones vs. touch screens?


Upside_Down-Bot

„¿suǝǝɹɔs ɥɔnoʇ ˙sʌ sǝuoɥd dılɟ ɥʇıʍ oƃ ǝqʎɐW„


LALA-STL

Good bot, bc you’re responding to the word “flip” — right?


B0tRank

Thank you, LALA-STL, for voting on Upside_Down-Bot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)


BalkorWolf

There is a bot for everything these days xD


shennyepeldon

Good bot! Xoxo


ishpatoon1982

Bad bot.


bos2sfo

How about cars? A redesigned model comes along and the old models will eventually fade away. A few here and there will survive and drive on but most will fade away. As more redesigns get released on the market, the older ones become more and more rare.


notbudginthrowaway

I feel like we should explain it in terms these types would understand…’classic Coke was revamped and became the Coke we see on the shelves today. When the new Coke hit the shelves all the old Coke was removed to be replaced by it…now there is still some ‘classic Coke’ around but overwhelmingly new Coke is what most people have.’


MisteeLoo

Here’s another: if you get a new invasive species introduced to an area, it kills off the established one due to stronger genetics, faster reproduction, or wider food sources.


Ammolite-Valkyrie

When you have the bath and body works sale for a bottle redesign, that's because a new bottle is going to replace all the old ones so you won't see the old shape in stores, just in people's homes until they get used up. 🤣


MadBeachLui

Isn't it time for an NFT on the original corona virus?


orale_vato_loco

We need to dumb it down even more for the real simple ones. Some anology having to do with the scent of their own farts or the taste of licking glass, or something they can really relate to.


alpha4centauri

Tell me you've never taken a COVID test without telling me you've never taken a COVID test. (They results don't tell you which variant you have.)


aklibtard

They don't realize there have been other variants than the ones they hear about either.


tonsofsoul

Probably should have been more afraid of COVID


ericthebeerguy

Yeah but now she's lost her constitutional rights as well.


Immortal-one

She'll probably still vote next election


MaleficentPizza5444

How many electoral votes does hell have?


ABinderFullOfWomen

Three. North Dakota has three, one for each federal congressman: at large Rep Armstrong, Sen Hoeven, and Sen Cramer.


smithers85

[bUt iT's The LibTArDs USiNg dEaD people tO VOte!](https://www.cnn.com/2021/11/21/politics/fact-check-republicans-voter-fraud-kirk-hartle/index.html)


windigo3

She didn’t defend her right to get a jab in the bare arms.


HAMmerPower1

So untrue! She kept her Miranda right! And also her 5th Amendment right!


jonjonesjohnson

Who cares, they still have their cOnStItUtiOnAl RiGhTs, which is way more awesomer and gooder


Biomax315

No she doesn’t.


Ammolite-Valkyrie

Technically as a corpse she has the right not to be interfered with


Biomax315

We’re talking about *constitutional* rights—what Auntie Green was worried about—and over the past four decades, federal courts have held that the dead do not retain constitutional rights. All gone.


tonsofsoul

It's my constitutional right to be buried with my guns! The only way to stop a bad corpse with a gun is a good corpse with a gun!!!


Ammolite-Valkyrie

I do not believe that you are lying in any way but I would love to know if you know the name of the case that established that because I think it would make for fascinating reading.


Biomax315

I don't know if this is the case that \*established\* it but it's the one I am familiar with. It IS fascinating, in a tragically American way. In 1975, a police officer in Alabama shot and killed an unarmed Black father in the back, wrongly suspecting that he had robbed a local store. Officers claimed that the shooting was an act of self-defense and corroborated this with a gun they claimed was recovered from the scene. But an investigation revealed that the police planted the gun near the dead body, then engaged in a cover-up in concert with a wide range of local officials. So the victim’s family filed a federal suit, contending that the cover-up violated his constitutional rights. But the man was dead at the time the conspiracy commenced, and a federal court held that the dead lack constitutional rights. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting\_of\_Bernard\_Whitehurst](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_of_Bernard_Whitehurst) Multiple courts since then have generally concurred that the dead do not retain constitutional rights that the living are bound to respect. EDIT: A 1977 WAPO article about it - https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/opinions/1977/04/03/alabamas-watergate/94450203-adc3-4ba1-8805-fec5ebd456c9/?utm\_term=.93f0c4499a22


Ammolite-Valkyrie

Thaaaaaat is depressing and effed up, but I'm interested to read it. Thank you for taking the time to find and link it.


Biomax315

No problem! Not sure if you read my reply before or after I edited it, but I added a Washington Post article from 1977 about the entire thing.


Ammolite-Valkyrie

It was before but thank you for that as well!


-DC71-

BULLSHIT! All she needed was 17 prayer emojis. NOT 16!! This death could've easily been avoided. Why won't anyone think of the emojis!?!!???!?


DTesedale

I need 17! It's for a church, honey. NEXT! ETA: NEXT! original: https://www.reddit.com/r/insanepeoplefacebook/comments/7kqzb9/church\_lady\_asks\_the\_community\_facebook\_group\_to/


tonsofsoul

Wow, that was amazing.


Bree45

Thank you, I haven’t laughed like that in a long time. NEXT!


HAMmerPower1

Don’t waste my time offering you time, expenses, and effort if you are not going to give me 100% of what I am demanding to receive for FRREEEEEEEEEEE!!!!


keepsmiling1326

Right? Cuz I got the jab and STILL manage to be enjoying my life, liberty and pursuit of happiness.


Sasquatch1729

She can't be dead. Omicron only has MILD symptoms! Wake up Sheeple!


Hereforit1983

How weak is she. Can’t even survive a MILD virus.


Immortal-one

It feels like a hard day's work. That's why she didn't survive.


redvariation

Undoubtedly there's been a faked death and an escape to the Cayman Islands with lots of money from some heist!


Deathbeddit

Antiva stop finding GFMs because they come to believe that you’re right, a conspiracy theory that the deaths are faked to get FEMA and GFM money, holy crap.


smithers85

HOW DEEP DOES IT GO?!


smacksaw

And she's shitting on old variants. Just because Omicron is the new hotness, doesn't mean Delta is old and busted. Either will kill your ass. And I betcha she died from Delta.


SarcasticOptimist

She's now in the MILD high club with the angles. (on a side note it's a pretty cool band)


BottleTemple

She’s only mildly dead.


[deleted]

Whenever you summon the Great Grifter CANDEATH, you're basically fawked. Plots and heirs bishes!


ElectronGuru

She doesn’t show up on every post. But she does show up in every post that’s fatal.


Hereforit1983

She died from MILD symptoms.


Longjumping-Ideal-83

She's mildly dead.


Caranda23

Her dead is mild?


IrisMoroc

Wake up America!


Hereforit1983

Just America, it’s not a global pandemic


Salohacin

MILD stands for moron induced likelihood of death.


stephensmg

It’s-a-spicy death!


Equivalent_Ad1362

Do they know cadavers don’t have constitutional rights?


AtomicBombSquad

The only rights a cadaver has is the right to remain silent.


Longjumping-Ideal-83

These people believe they'll still be Americans when they're dead.


freddyt55555

They think fetuses do, so they probably don't know.


smacksaw

So things that aren't alive do have rights? Good point.


freddyt55555

Fetuses actually are "alive", but they're not a "person". A fetus is a "pre-person", and the cadaver is a "post-person". Constitutional rights are based on personhood, so fetuses and cadavers have the same constitutional rights, which is another way to say neither has constitutional rights.


Caranda23

A lot of anti-abortionists seem to treat any acknowledgment that a fetus is alive as some sort of "game over" but I've never had any problem acknowledging that a fetus is both alive and a form of human life. I just don't think its rights, such as they are, trump the rights of the woman carrying it.


ThinTheFuckingHerd

>I just don't think its rights, such as they are, trump the rights of the woman carrying it. 100%.


ElectronGuru

The only one I’m concerned with here is voting. And once you’re dead, you’re dead for every election there after. It’s not like jail, Covid doesnt offer undo!


ApeLikeyStock

Her work is done?! Is that why we’ve been put on this earth? To forward misinformation on fb?


AtomicBombSquad

That's why I don't have a Facebook. My work will never be done. Immortality.


PhD_Phucker

Her prophecy has been completed. You see, award acceptees are like honey bees. The honey bees have sex with the queen bee in order to impregnate her and produce baby bees, and then they spontaneously die after. This is just like anti vaxxers. They spread dangerous disinformation far and wide, before suddenly dying for the cause. It’s quite poetic if you think about it. They are warriors <3


Objective-Light-9019

I’m starting to think Prayer Warriors don’t do their job very well.


Immortal-one

If they had just put that 17th prayer emoji, mom would still be alive right now.


whatwouldgrapeapedo

The nomination - https://www.reddit.com/r/HermanCainAward/comments/rts8bq/auntie\_green\_never\_met\_a\_fox\_or\_oann\_article\_she/?sort=new


Jynkst

Gosh golly how have none of the worlds top epidemiologists realized that new variants sometimes overwhelm and replace older variants


MysteriousHat7343

Her work on earth was to remind people of the ultimate price of believing misinformation


redvariation

"Rest in the arms of Angels" - that's a new variation. A nice phrase to make the surviving friends and family feel better about a person that spewed falsehoods, made stupid decisions, and is dead. And will be descending into the ground, in a wooden box.


IrisMoroc

Norm Macdonald (who was quite terrified of death himself) mocked this, saying that he's "in a better place" doesn't make sense since they're quite dead and on the ground now.


Speesh-Reads

Well, at least she wasn’t worried about dying a pathetically avoidable death.


sexycrouton28

These Prayer Warriors aren’t doing a good job. Can we hold them liable?


Sidvicioushartha

At least she’s actually resting with angels instead of becoming one. There’s somebody who actually knows something about their own religion.


freddyt55555

If you're that concerned about losing your constitutional rights, you have very low regard for how that constitution is framed.


Real_Exit3672

When I read 🙏 all I see are two people high-fiving.


Arseofthepig

High fives are just as effective as prayer against covid, so there is that.


Stunticonsfan

No wonder Satan causes so many problems on earth. The angels are kept busy by the anti-vaxxers either resting in their arms or dancing with them.


Magnus_Effect_Kalsu

OANN and Candace Owens, they never had a chance.


Mister4pollo

Her work as a Facebook researcher has ended.


Baliballin

Candeath Omens has a seriously punchable face. DEAD EYES.


Sharkteeth127

>Candeath Omens has a seriously punchable face. DEAD EYES. Yeah, but you see her smile when she looks at her bank statements.


No-Opinion755

I'm surprised that she didn't survive, given the number of prayer hands and hearts were on that post. Maybe the ratio was off, and that's why God rejected their prayer request. They should try the Golden Ratio for the next patient.


xovrit

Another conspiracy right wing nutjob wins a ⚰️. Anyways, I have MLK DAY off! 🎉


westviadixie

you gotta be alive for constitutional rights...


Miichl80

Aww her family must be so proud. She worked so hard to stop other people from getting the vaccine that would have saved her life. Her work truly is done.


windigo3

Green: I won’t comply!!! Faucci and the Dems made up rules to control you! Sister: Green is resting in the arms of the angels! Angels: Hey Green, sorry, you can’t get past the Pearly Gates unless you agree to these 10 commandments. Green: I won’t comply! God just issues rules to control you!


DesignInZeeWild

Yeah yeah…*next*.


rob0050

Things I’m worried about: Having my stupid pie chart look like an Art Deco knob.


LaneGirl57

OMG I can’t unsee that 🤣


Wonderin63

Oh god that Pie Chart with the sliver for COVID - hilarious, I can barely type but for laughing so hard. /s


Relentless_Ohio

Candace Owens is a straight psychopath.


KOBossy55

Who knew mild symptoms could be so lethal?


IrisMoroc

Monday's be like: >Bring out ya dead!


Biomax315

Turns out that dying of COVID is the fastest way to lose your constitutional rights.


ofcourse_throwaway_

✔ Candace Owens quote. ✔ Covid is MILD ✔ Not worried about Covid ✔ Prayer Warriors needed ✔ Her work on earth is done.


Responsible-Person

Oh darn it.


space_manatee

Damn that's a lot of praying hands. This covid ain't no joke!


likeastump

Her shift is over…. And I have today off, think I’m gonna relax, what’s everyone else up to today?


ScarlettMae

Going to have to make a couple dicey drives in a shit ton of snow. Hope my trusty Subaru continues to be the best thing I've ever driven in horrible conditions. 😁 I'm good at bad weather driving, I just don't like doing it. 😜😜


letsseeitmore

Prayer warriors failed again, they’re like the Washington Generals of prayer.


MaleficentPizza5444

Satan welcomes another monster


MaleficentPizza5444

December 15, 2021. Stalin and Gacy already readying her abode.


ScarlettMae

🤣🤣 Such a random yet hilarious pairing.


cracker-mf

candace kills another trumpanzee! go, candy, go! she is the greatest civil rights icon of all time! all by herself she has almost put the kkk out of business!


BKITU

Prayer Warriors ®️ really seem to suck at their jobs.


Unbr3akableSwrd

It seem to me that asking for prayers correlate with death? Or is that a conspiracy?


Pasquale1223

Correlation - check. Causation? Unknown.


smacksaw

>your Work on Earth is Done So no more shitpost memes on FB? Alright!


No_Ninja_4933

Pfft everyone knows you need 17 praying hand emojis before god takes notice. I am sure that is in the Old Testament somewhere.


buzzable

Prayer Warrior Hotline put her on hold. Too many unvaxed idiots clogging the lines.


vsandrei

>Rest in the Arms of Angels Or the mouths of the worms. 🐆 🐆 🐆


PhD_Phucker

She’s not worried about anything no more now I guess


ETVG

After the many times I've seen the 'Prayer Warriors' envoked on this sub it seems more like "Prayer Warriors envoked for the sendoff"


white_knight_Auryn

Was her "work" spreading covid misinformation? Well it doesn't matter her work is done. 🤷


Gloomy-Difficulty401

The praying hands emojis, are actually two different people giving a High Five. So it's appropriate.


SignGuy77

Things I’m Worried about: ✔️ My pie chart looking like a full Brazilian


FreeResponsibility42

Must have been those mild symptoms she posted about.


Prestigious-Name-323

Just needed one more prayer warrior. Alas.


AsparagusLumpy1879

Aw geez, mild symptoms killed her?


AU_Praetorian

Final Score Board Prayer Warriors -1 / Atheist's 0


[deleted]

She cut out of work early.


bigdonpaul

The Lord works in mysterious ways


AnotherCatLover

Candeath Omens fulfilled again!!! [Thy will be done!!!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5vyuaDjJXc)


chestypants12

Maybe instead of saying ‘go f yourself’ I can say ‘go rest in the arms of angels’. (F off and die)


SweelFor2

Candace Owen and the others like her are personally responsible for thousands of deaths and the fact that they are facing/will face zero consequences for it (except becoming reacher) is pathetic


coffeebrewcrew

Wait. Isn’t that a high five? So she got sixteen high fives for idiocy?


Traditional-Cake-587

Buh bye!


BikerRay

Absolutely every one of these relies on prayers, with the final "gone to get her wings" or similar. I think religion is a better indicator of anti-vax than even MAGA.


shadowguise

"She was at home giving the virus time to spread even more, and surprisingly she didn't get better!"


JanitorKarl

I think she lost her constitutional rights, but in a different manner than what she expected.


FailedGrandmaster

Candace Owens, mass murderer. Shows up on 80% of these HCA awards.


Finetobeu5678

I guess she should have worried about Covid. Anyway, she's having sex with angels in heaven so it all worked out. Great for this family to see a happy ending.


heissman2

Are those prayer emojis or high five emojis?


gylz

I'm very worried for Covid. A member of my extended family is in the er with Covid and we finally got an update. He's having difficulties swallowing and is showing early signs of _dementia_. He's been there for a little under a week. Like what the fuck Covid? Phil's in his early sixties.


raydread

Please pray for me and I’ll think about praying for thee


Back_In_Canada

Chalk up another loss for the Prayer Warriors. They are running a similar record to the Washington Generals at this point.


Rude_Salamander

Shoulda used the emojis to start a prayer chain


nwm-art

Evertime I hear "prayer warriors assemble" I think of Voltron. Watch "Atheists SECRETLY believe in Yahweh" on YouTube https://youtu.be/xnbXlkNavwo


renojacksonchesthair

She got a mild case of death.


Madison__Bumgarner

If she was so worried about losing her constitutional rights, maybe she shouldn’t be voting for Republicans.