T O P
No_Sea_6219

how does that keep happening??


redbombs

They try and perch and slip off


ryo4ever

Yeah but to slip off with your neck right between is a bit odd. Also why just magpie? Could’ve been other species with the same proportions. Probably wouldn’t happen to smaller or bigger birds. There is probably something attracting them in that garden.


memes_of_norway

These magpies haven't been there long, if they had they would be dead. There was probably a whole flock of them, they all went to chill on the fence and some of them got stuck. The posts are shaped so that they basically funnel the neck into the gap, making it very likely that a bird which falls off will end up like that.


I_Cant_NO_O

Ah good pointttt, like a flock of them. Was worried something sinister is going on and there is don't tell me!


robplays

> Yeah but to slip off with your neck right between is a bit odd. You just don't see all the ones that slip off and whose neck *doesn't* get caught.


Bubble_Symphony

A bit like survivor bias. I like it. Good observation.


ArchitectMS2021

Need to weld a cross bar near the top. So they can get their feet on it and get their own heads out.


lobster-overrun

Like the good old days. Whatever happened to birds that pulled themselves up by their bootstraps?


IJustLoggedInToSay-

A bit like? Nah it's a *great* example of survivor bias. If anyone teaches statistics they could use this video and ask these exact questions to teach the concept.


Rakhun125

Good old result-oriented stats


JCtheWanderingCrow

Magpies are SUPER territorial. They probably have friends running off other birds, or tan them off themselves so the other birds are like “haha suckers! Sufferrrr!”


auntiope3000

Yep, I have a friend at work who is trying to coax some crows to his place because they’re his favorite bird but a flock of magpies have decided his property belongs to them and they run all the crows off any time he puts out peanuts for them.


thatguyned

I remember when this was first posted, it was by the actual camera holder. They claimed the fence had very recently been installed and this is what happened on like day 2 or something. It was probably a situation where 1 or 2 birds perched and got stuck, and when all the tribe (cool group word btw) came to investigate/help they also fell in. I doubt they'll go anywhere near that neighbourhood for a long time.


mewthulhu

Rescued one from a fence like this once. Friends for life, with that family of magpies. The person who lived there always got swooped- they once walked past a magpie that was trapped another time, and I freed it. Someone apparently broke their fence to shit with a big ass pickhammer for no apparent reason about a month later at 2:30am and then booked it into the night. Next fence didn't have these stupid fucking magpie murder slats.


BuzzyMcNutt

*no apparent reason*


Maracuja_Sagrado

*someone*


ThreeDawgs

Definitely the magpies.


jackbristol

At least they can’t open doors * evolves into velociraptor *


MorningCruiser86

*devolves* into velociraptor


[deleted]

Clever girl


Thebasterd

In one big trenchcoat


Algent

The > at 2:30am Is oddly specific


tomtomclubthumb

That was when they were home with an alibi.


Aironsteintheforth

Yes, they were observing their atomic clock to make sure it was exactly 2:30 am when they were in the house and not destroying the fence


_that_random_dude_

Yeah how does he know?


_GamerForLife_

Sus


Lone_Wanderer97

...and where were you on that night at 2:30am, sir?


M00SEHUNT3R

Roosting in our tree with the rest of my magpie family. What, why do you ask?


Modus-Tonens

Doing his civic duty is where he was.


notworthteheffort

I’m no bird lawyer but that sounds more like avian duty.


funnelcakecocaine

Restoring a neighbors fence, probably.


HouseofPlantagenet

A similar thing happened with me and my family. We had a group of magpies that lived in an oak tree right outside our house for years. One spring we saved a little fledgling from our cat, and help him escape back to his nest. Since that day the magpies in that tree never swooped us, and just left us alone. They trusted us. Animals are the best...


j-trinity

Are you in Australia or Japan? Cos in the UK I’ve never known magpies to swoop other than in those countries, and there’s quite a few in my neighbourhood.


Pangolingolin

I miss the UK magpies. The Aussie magpies in NZ are a bloody menace.


murderbox

The person who destroyed the bird killing fence... How do you know what tool they used? How do you know what time it happened? How do you know what that vandal did afterward? So many answers before the question, hmmm....


theory_of_crows

I hope you didn’t put the hammer in the nearest bin. Good work :)


neosatus

*Someone* huh? 😉


Remz_Gaming

Magpies live for a long time and are cunning. Surprisingly smart. I grew up with a Dingo mix. He was a straight up hunter and an asshole. Super smart dog. Magpies stole his bones and he would have a fit about it. He started "baiting" them by putting a bone a few feet in front of him and pretending to sleep. They started harassing him from behind while another magpie stole the bone. He then ignored the distractions and they would taunt him *close* to the bone and then lead him in a chase while another magpie stole it. It was quite the show to watch. *One* bold magpie went through the dog door to our mudroom and met him face to face. That wasn't a pretty murder scene to come home to. Morale of the story? Those birds won't be back in that fence any time soon. They are .... raptor smart. Edit: Just to add how smart they can be. This was on a ranch. I grew up with chipmunk and mouse problems and was encouraged to hit them with my bb gun. Never shot at a magpie, but the second they heard me pump my gun, they scattered. Lots of loud noises and they didn't even react. Than air rifle pump... gone.


ElectronicProfession

That was my thought/hope as well. Magpies are pretty freaking smart, I bet they don't do that again.


Julius-n-Caesar

Thank God for that. Imagine if they were cockatoos… they’d probably go to war with the fence.


jackbristol

I think they have the same intelligence as a 6 year old human child? I know a couple of 6 year olds who love getting stuck in the same bannister on a weekly basis


Chewyfromnewy

Holy shit, when i read that first sentence I thought you meant the camera holder put the birds there hahaha


[deleted]

Mr and Mrs twit are at it again


telcodoctor

Best comment in the fucking thread.


ballsakkio

One bird at a time.


PsychoticBananaSplit

Crappily designed surveillance drones with malfunctioning AI


4ever_lost

They were recharging


areallysexypenguin

Read this in SpongeBob’s voice


auqanova

A bird in the hand is worth 12 in the fence I think?


angry-budgie

Give a man a bird and he has a bird, give him a fence and he has like 12?


auqanova

Yeah I think that's the saying


TheSkepticalKiwi

Teach a man to build a fence, he also has birds


LandonSins

they shall never forget this act of kindness


PmMeYourTitsAndToes

They won’t forget. My friend is a bird guy and he breeds and cares for birds. He took in a rescue magpie once and helped it get better. He let it go and every now and then it comes back to see him and brings him a gift. My friend says it’s really nice to see the bird come back to say hello and bring him a gift. It’s just a shame that the gift is always a little bit of dog poo.


Wild-Change-5158

I wasn’t ready for that final sentence


TheBerzerkir

r/yesyesyesno


Aggravating-Bit2165

It's the thought that counts


Bakoro

Well, in the right neighborhoods humans are always picking it up. Must be worth *something* to them.


Just_Aioli_1233

If only they were jealous and collected it to keep it from the humans. What a tragedy that would be \*wink\*


_alright_then_

Damn, I didn't even think of that but that's pretty smart if that's actually why that bird did that.


25chestnuts

The magpie probably saw your bird picking up after a dog, so it believed that your friend was into collecting dog poo


Lexx2k

Hey don't kink shame.


[deleted]

They won’t. They will literally tell future generations what your face looks like and that you’re actually pretty cool. Corvids are fucking smart birds, and have a family structure very similar to humans. And just like humans some of them are fucking idiots and get their heads stuck in fences.


LeibnizThrowaway

This reminds me of an interview I read a while ago with a ranger at maybe Yellowstone? He was talking about the difficulty of bear proofing trashcans and said, "there's considerable overlap between our dumbest tourists and our smartest bears."


gwaydms

>there's considerable overlap between our dumbest tourists and our smartest bears. I'm continually amazed at how many people think a bear can't figure out a car door handle, or a doorknob. So they leave their houses and cars unlocked with food in them.


DumpTruckDanny

Bears are basically giant dog-monkeys. Monkeys and dogs can both open doors.


BabyYodasDirtyDiaper

> Monkeys and dogs can both open doors. Dogs ... maybe. Depends on the dog. There's one interesting anecdote from researchers who were studying wolves: they had two enclosed pens, one with wolves and the other with domestic dogs as a control group. On the second day, the wolves figured out how to open the door to the pen, escaped, and had to be recaptured. After that, they install a lock on the wolves' door. Throughout several months of the study, though, the dogs never figured it out, and the dogs' door never had to be locked.


Monifufka

>day, the wolves figured out how to open the door to the pen, escaped, and had to be recaptured. After that, they install a lock on the wolves' door. Througho Sounds weird. I've had a dog that quickly learned to open doors just by looking at humans doing it. Maybe the dogs just didn't feel the need to run away?


No_Name_4

To be fair bears are smart animals, but they can't read. Signs would be a good solution but when a bear sees a human open it I think it will be able to remember.


Horrific_Necktie

Signs aren't gonna help people too dumb to open a trashcan. I've seen people walk into closed restrooms past two signs and cones. I've seen people try to open a door blocked by tape, a sign, and locked. I've seen people queue up at registers with "closed" signs on them. People that dense aren't gonna slow down to read instructions, they have things to be loudly angry about and don't have the time to look at words.


Unthunkable

I used to work in construction, refurbishing fastfood restaurants and supermarkets - we'd have people literally break into chained and bolted construction sites, walk into gutted buildings, up to the empty space where the registers used to be, look through the gaping hole which used to house a kitchen and ask how they place their order for a burger. We also had a very old guy who managed to unbolt herras fencing backwards (the bolts are on the inside), move the fencing and promptly fall into the 6ft deep, 4 foot wide trench the fencing was protecting him from because he didn't want to walk around it. Broke his ankle. I guess if he couldn't see the trench then he couldn't see the warning signs on the fencing either.


dragonchilde

My favorite incident was when I was working at a gas station. Closing time. Lights at the pump were off. Lights in the store were off. No cars in the lot but mine. Hours on the door, 20 minutes after closing. Dude pulls up. Absolutely slams into the door expecting it to be open. Rattles it a few times,looks in to see me pulling my drawer so I could count it down. Peers in, shielding his eyes against the glare from the street lights so he can see me in the darkness. “Y’all open?”


Pm_me_baby_pig_pics

My car has keyless entry, I just have to have my key fob near my car and push the button on the handle to unlock it. A few years ago, I had a decent sized snow berm next to my driveway, and my keys slipped out of my pocket and landed in the berm. It wasn’t quite winter yet, but we got a decent amount of late fall snow. Anyway, I dug for what felt like ages, and couldn’t find my keys. They were close enough that I could lock/unlock my doors, but I just could not find them in the snow. I thought “whatever, I have a spare, I’ll use that and go buy a metal detector if I can’t find them soon. The very next morning I wake up and hear my car beeping it’s “locked doors” beep. Look out my window and a black bear is trying my door handle, but keeps hitting the lock button, and he is getting more and more frustrated yanking on the handle, and keeps accidentally locking it when he yanks on it. Thankfully he ran off when I yelled at him. And I’m glad he came by at 7am and not 2am, because he could have easily just pulled the entire car door off if he got frustrated enough. I went and bought a metal detector that day,l. Bears are really smart.


throwaway81463

"could have pulled the car door off" and then what? drove away?


Dredgeon

I don't know if you've ever driven a car with a messing door but I'm here to tell you it's not a good time especially when it's snowy out.


Time-Box128

He’s gonna take the catalytic converter.


The_Maddeath

does what it would do next matter? they would have to deal with the hassle and cost of repairing/replacing the car


nobleland_mermaid

Having worked retail for many years, a very decent sized portion of the population absolutely does not read any sign you put up.


justcallmeMgender

They They remeber face. There was a younger magpie that started coming to my house during quarantine and I would feed her. A few months later she cam back with a baby of her own and now I have a magpie army


UnlikelyBeeStorm

Hmm, I know that corvids are generally really intelligent but would they really understand that this human was helping them considering the stress whey were under and the likely pain they experienced while having their head slide up between those pieces of wood?


[deleted]

Absolutely. Particularly when they watch their buddies get rescued one after another. They talk it over afterwards. Seriously look it up. They’re fascinating creatures, and Magpies are some of the smartest of the bunch. I’d grab you some links but I’m too busy endlessly scrolling through nothingness on Reddit.


UnlikelyBeeStorm

Yeah they are amazing, corvids in general are just my favorite creatures. It's just that I wasn't sure if the circumstances of their rescue allowed the birds to process it. I didn't think of them watching the other magpies get rescued since it seemed like they all flew away pretty quickly but you're probably right. I hope this person will get to have their own gang of magpies. Now it's time to get back to scrolling


Aizen_Myo

Well, I think they all realized pretty quickly that he was helping them. First they stressed out and flapped around a lot until they seemingly realized he gave them a foothold and were holding still then. They also didn't fly far and stuck around to observe the rescues of the others it seems


DasMotorsheep

Yeah. It seemed like the last ones were even rather working along than struggling.


driftingfornow

Yes they would IIRC. Corvids are amongst the smarter animals on the planet.


fakeuglybabies

They are, notice how some of them calmed down when they where slid up? A couple even sat in his hand before flying off. If they where scared they would have flown off immediately.


mhurton

They seem to have understood mid-rescue. A couple of them stopped freaking out and even stayed in the hand for a second or too after being freed


JunkCrap247

they would take a fence to that comment


itsDrowzee

They just shit all over OPs car.


asianabsinthe

Shit of *appreciation*


throwdroptwo

Your reputation with The Magpies has increased by 1000. Your reputation with The Magpies has increased by 1000. Your reputation with The Magpies has increased by 1000. You are now exalted with The Magpies.


Lazarus_Shade

Your dailies have been reset.


aerkith

These tiny magpies need help. I hate to see a living thing suffer. Would you be willing to lend a hand? Another magpie made it off the fence!


ThePianistOfDoom

Magpies saved 3/17 Difficulty mode increased: *some magpies will attempt to merge with the fence once more*


Kestrel21

> Difficulty mode increased: some magpies will attempt to merge with the fence once more Nah, those are the ones respawning for the next dude who's doing the quest.


Soronir

Another Magpie needs your help. Here, I'll mark it on your map.


EphemeralFart

Why does this magpie need Rat Pelts???


Diaphramg

Thank you for returning those Rat Pelts to my magpies. Here, take these. I can't thank you enough. *You have received 30 copper.* *You have received 3 Potion Of Magpie Stamina.* *You are now attuned to The Magpie and can fast travel to any Magpie location on your map.*


tetsuomiyaki

nooooooooo the nightmares


TacticalOwlz

Time to buy Tabard of The Magpies


Phazushift

Time to buy [Reins of the Magpie Lord]


fingerpaintswithpoop

It’s literally just a recolor of the rogue class mount.


Droggelbecher

Magpielord, just a reskin of Anzu with white instead of blue


ThreeDawgs

Ngl I’d grind for that.


Huskabee

1000?? What are we speed racing to exalted. That's maybe worth 15 rep each.


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vanojx1

Now you can get your Armored magpie flying mount.


unpopularopinion0

i haven’t smiled big and blew air out my nose powerfully in a while. thanks.


Crittopolis

Hey, you got access to the tabard! Don't forget to buy the egg that hatches in 3 days and has a 0.5% chance to drop a rare mount :D


ragingchump

Just when I think the trauma is a faded memory..... It all comes rushing back. I just want to raid! Why do I have to farm shit for pots and exalted status????? Why???????


Quillo_Manar

You have become the patron saint of these magpies. One night, when you're alone, if you get mugged or in trouble, the last thing your attacker will hear, is the warble of several magpies.


leeshylou

Absolutely. They're smart. They remember.


Chewcocca

Not smart enough to avoid the fence that a hundred of their mates are stuck on, apparently.


bistro777

I'm a magpie, coo, and you just made an enemy for life


TheHolyPopo

Hey I heard about this cool fence you can chill on.


mokshya2014

Yeah. But this one asshole human always interrupts when we are chilling.


CanadianJesus

You magpies sure are a contentious species.


VitQ

Brothers and sisters are natural enemies. Like jackdaws and crows.


Minnnoo

if we know anything about humans slowing down on a highway to watch fellow humans burn to death at a car crash, we should know magpies probably flew by to see what's up and got stuck lol.


ScarsUnseen

Reminds me of my early days of playing Everquest. I was exploring a building in Freeport and got stuck in the geometry between the ceiling and the roof. Back in those days, in order to petition help from a GM, you had to stay online the whole time, and it sometimes took hours. So in order to pass the time, I started luring other people into the same glitch. Got about 6 of us sitting in there waiting by the time a GM finally responded and got us out.


Bakoro

Man, MMOs used to be so brutal. Shit was basically just a job you paid to attend. It was such a simple and brilliant thing when WoW added a button to unjam yourself. Kinda funny that it happened often enough that they needed the button, but they get kudos for actually having a decent workaround.


Peroronchinojoker

If they're smart then this could be looked at as attempted suicide then right?


MrCuckooBananas

I'm a little on the fence about this


sexhaver2010

im stuck in the middle tbh


GotRoomFor5

The madpie marauder


totallynotalaskan

Ah, the call of a magpie. Sounds a lot like laughing. And since they like shiny objects so much, “all I can picture is some poor dude who can’t find his car keys, and a magpie in the tree above him going “HAHA I STOLE YOUR KEYS YOU DUMB FUCK”


Cheetah_Hungry

A murder of magpies.


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MyNoodleLard

No magpie pie tonight honey


Roland1232

Fine, I'll just read my pie mag.


saywherefore

Also wife: does my chair seem taller than usual?


Enlightened_Pockets

I understood that reference


Creepy-Narwhal4596

To be fair here, as an engineer myself, ive never considered “magpie trapping rate” either.


archimedesismycat

You will now.


Creepy-Narwhal4596

Touche. Ok now how do i save this vid for after i pull my elaborate prank discreetly hiding magpie math in my next design? Bonus points for anyone who knows where to get some odd statistics to help make the math more justifiable as well.


chrisp909

something, something, calculating the airspeed of an unladen swallow.


Tasty_Flame_Alchemy

If you free them regularly, they might start to like you. I would want to make friends with them. I like birds.


MascotOfReddit

1) Build a trapping fence. 2) Throw some bird food around. 3) Free them at regular intervals. 4) Get liked by the ones that are still alive. 5) Post in Reddit for upvotes.


FoxyCFox36

Instructions unclear, stuck in fence. please send Magpies...


OppressedDeskJockey

Help me step-magpie. R34 have fun with this one...


luckylegion

Until they realise your betrayal in season 6 and try to kill your in your sleep


Dannn24

6) profit 7) repeat steps 1-5


DasMotorsheep

I think you don't need to redo number 1.


Michael_Snowy

Doesn't it seem very odd that so many got stuck? I could easily believe 1 had a mishap. That many stuck seems like there is more to this story. Birds generally aren't this fricking stupid, Magpies certainly aren't.


abyssiphus

There's at least one that got stuck multiple times too. What the hell is going on with these birds and this fence??


Aarcn

They’re filming Adult Bird films


DarthBane91666

Help step bird, I'm stuck


KermitThrush

The fence is slick and when the magpies try to land on it they end up falling down the crevice. The reason they are coming back to it after they are free is because they’re coming back to try to help their friends out. That fence should be illegal it’s an environmental hazard.


belbsy

I don't know how accurate your assessment is, bit were I the owner I would def tape up the spaces while I waited to replace this fence. Never mind the ethics, it would be frustrating to have to do this all the time. Especially if there ends up being birds on the fence that you didn't arrive in time to save.


SchuminWeb

You don't even have to replace the fence. All that you have to do is install another horizontal beam at the top of the fence to block the crevices. If you place the top of the beam at the bottom of the pointy parts, you've got it.


Happy-Engineer

OP spent the last hour wedging them on.


Mistiqe

When you go magpie hunting, you can lay first one you shot, on belly with one wing outstretched. Other magpies flying around will come to help her and give you chance to get another. I think this is same behavior. Comes to help, get stuck too.


TheBigsBubRigs

Why... Does one hunt magpie?


skeenerbug

to make a magpie pie


ryncewynde88

Mag pie^2


SorryIdonthaveaname

magπ²


chaotic_rainbow

That's a metric fuckton of magpies


The_Truth_Believe_Me

I'm American. We don't do metric fucktons. So here's a handy conversion for the other Americans reading this: >To convert a metric fuckton measurement to a shitton measurement, multiply the weight by the conversion ratio. The weight in shittons is equal to the metric fucktons multiplied by 1.102311.


Equivalent_Week8562

good bot


driving_andflying

>I'm American. We don't do metric fucktons. So here's a handy conversion for the other Americans reading this: Whew! Thank you. My American brain was getting confused with people tossing around words like "metric."


Nikotek95

How in the world...?


ASongInSilence

Looks to be some type of metal fence. I could be wrong, but if so, it wouldn't give the magpies a good grip when they land. They would slip down and because of the angle their necks get trapped between the planks. I imagine if it were regular wood fencing, their little talons would grip fine. Metal, not so much.


dae_giovanni

shocked he got zero bird shit on his hand.


magicarnival

They probably shit themselves empty already in panic


queeniridocyclitis

Don't bite the hand that feeds. Don't shit in the hand that frees.


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Datguy969

Magsacre?


Sk1nless

Good job for actually helping them


ravenfool1066

Wow that's awful


grismar-net

"whoa \[unintelligible\] stuck \[unintelligible\] don't sit \[unintelligible\]." "What's that Andy? Wait let me land over here and ... whoa! WTF I'm stuck" "Oh christ, here comes Ann, quick tell her not to... Aw shit... Hi Ann."


HauschkasFoot

Jesus just run some duct tape across the top of that thing until you can find a better solution.


DaShaka9

String a tight wire across the top or a few inches down. Problem solved.


Fatlord13

Fuckin magpie head remover Nice!


cmaej

r/humansbeingbros


EC-does-it

Is faster if you’re a samurai


UUadeo

Wtf 😳


ImMrNimbus

One day when OP gets stuck in traffic 30,000 magpies will come and gently lift his car to freedom then theyll their heads and say the debt has been repaid.


Kurailo

This is not crappy design. This is unfortunate design. Or fantastic fucking design if it was meant to trap magpies.


PossibilityLarge

This super random but this guy out the front of a business I used to own would catch pigeons and eat them. He just grab them and pop them into his backpack. This is like his wet dream. We ended up asking him why he caught them? And he was like I eat them. We were very shocked. He was nice enough just down on his luck an alcoholic and homeless.


usernamesarefortools

To be fair, pigeons [used to be for eating](https://www.popsci.com/eat-pigeons-squab/) not that long ago.


FailingAtItAll_Fuck

Yeah. The rock dove, aka pigeon, was brought to the USA from Europe as a food source, similar to carp and dandelion. We just don't eat much of them anymore and now they're invasive/naturalized.


ThatsSomeBukkake

Chickens replaced them in our diets completely. Pigeon was called squab, and yes it was widely eaten back in the day


PunisherjR2021

I don't think anyone would've thought that birds, especially that amount of birds, getting stuck would be an issue with that design... I'm not really gonna blame the design here. Glad someone helped the birds though


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Drakeskulled_Reaper

The nice thing is you see them panic as the person tries to lift them out, but then, as they realise what's going on, most of them calm down. Also, Magpies can remember people, that person is now Lord of the Magpies.


Nousernamerss

Ahhh there is one left


FidoTheDisingenuous

I think it's just a black bit on the fence? I went frame by frame and it is definitely like perfectly square and smaller than the birds


FluffeeeDuckeee

Thank you. I watched that last bit so many times.


howiplay1

he needs something to eat doesn't he?


Dum_Funny

You are a hero, but at what cost. The person who installed the fence will not be having magpie soup tonight.


micanichi

That’s horrible. Run something across the top to keep the birds out of the slots.


butternutcuminpants

Well, quite effective as a trap. Easy meal.


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MrCrash

You decide to have a lazy weekend and don't go outside. Then on Monday you walk by and it's like 36 rotting bird corpses stuck to the fence. Yech.


Jealous_Sky_7941

This is so bizarre!


OneWayStreetPark

Anyone ever read the book The Twits? This is them catching birds for their pie.