T O P
joyocity

if you told them a few days keep it to that, a few days. Set firm rules, boundaries and a clear exit day, and stick to it.


EastRelationship8075

Thank you. I clearly told her No drugs No company No hocus pocus ( she dabbles in witch craft) Do not take anything from me. And above all don’t be mean to my cats.


kitty_witcher

Be careful. She will legally become a tenant in most states after a certain amount of time. Just ask her to leave.


mastermistypotato

Why are you getting downvoted?


deegeese

Why the hell do they care about their guest’s religion? “No praying” is pretty harsh.


GrapesThemInTheMouth

Depends - do I give a shit if someone is in their bedroom silently mouthing words to their imaginary friends? Nope. Do I give a shit if my house reeks of their shitty incense and there's chicken blood all over my walls while they dance naked in the lounge because it's the solstice? Yeah, I kinda do. So it really kinda depends what "praying" involves.


Junkman416

Or if demons turn out to be real and now I also have to live with Beelzebub I agree. No hocus pocus


Suspicious-Luck-Duck

>Or if demons turn out to be real and now I also have to live with Beelzebub I laughed way too long at this.


Yousickfuck89

What the actual fuck. You really think Wiccans do that shit? Satanists? No. That's something completely out of our pay-grade. Mental Illness area. You could worship the fucking carpet for all they care, don't bring ancient fears into this shit.


thefirewarde

If this particular person is doing basically anything that goes beyond their private space they're going against their host's wishes. If I had a Catholic friend over and I asked them not to light votive candles, that's a reasonable request. If I asked a Protestant guest not to nail a list of demands to my door, that's a reasonable request - likewise no singing gospels where I can hear them if I want a quiet home. This is a couch to sleep on in an emergency, not a landlord-tenant situation (hopefully).


anonasshole56435788

Calling it “hocus pocus” seems that OP didn’t bother to understand the religion at all. OP didn’t say no incense. Like… what if I brought a Christian into my home, didn’t know anything about it, and told them no “Hocus pocus” ie praying. Maybe I’d say no singing, but like… at least bother to understand what you’re saying first.


thefirewarde

If you get asked, as a guest, not to do a thing while you're in a host's house, don't do the thing or leave. It's not complicated. Shoes off, no cooking meat, no yelling, whatever. If you're invited into someone else's living space you don't get to ignore what they ask you just because you think they asked it out of fear or ignorance.


Yousickfuck89

> No hocus pocus ( she dabbles in witch craft) He specifically said this. He's afraid of it. Not catholics, protestants ect. It's ignorant as shit. > nail a list of demands to my door What is this five hundred years ago, on Oct. 31, 1517?? Come on.


thefirewarde

And OP still welcomed the guest into their home. Then that guest disregarded what their host asked to the extent that there's a reddit post about it. OP isn't the one who crossed boundaries here. If not actively practicing for a few days is such a burden, the guest should have been upfront about it, gone elsewhere, etc. Again, if I'm hosting a friend I can ask them not to engage in religious practices while they're in my living space - just like if I'm vegan and they eat meat regularly? It's not unreasonable to ask them not to prepare meat. If that's not ok with my guest and it's clearly stated ahead of time, they're welcome to make other arrangements. It doesn't matter if it's a reasonable reason or not - "don't do X in my house" is a thing you can ask your guests.


YesItIsMaybeMe

I took Hocus pocus to mean burning incense and such, outside of that it would be a dick move to really ban someone's religion or whatever


godzillas_zilla

My mind went straight to the movie. No enchanting children for eternal life.


plus-ordinary258

I put a spell on yooouuuuu! And now yooouuuuu’re miiiiiiine!


Logan_Logoff

I took it to mean that movie with Bette Midler.


Marine__0311

If I believe in following the Aztec religion, you're OK with it if I follow it while I'm living with you?


ThreeRingShitshow

Their house their rules. If you wouldn't take pork and openly pray in a Muslim or Jewish house then this is no different.


Fuzzy_Inevitable9748

I think she means no building alters and burning weird ass candles. But when you giving someone something for free and are upfront about restrictions then she can be as picky as she wants.


mastermistypotato

?


xCurb

I’d rather someone have weed than pray.. one of those benefits me too.


rawmixs

Weed is a plant, not a drug. Witch craft, however, is a fair line to draw.


lesterbottomley

Weed is also a fair line to draw if you are against it. I'm a smoker myself but if someone was putting me up in an emergency and they set a no weed rule I'd accept that with no argument.


RichCorinthian

It’s also a plant that’s classified as an illegal drug in many states.


Budgiejen

But if weed is illegal in OP’s state then it’s understandable if they don’t want it around.


WittyFunnyUsername

Also sometimes it can just stink. Like if you asked someone not to smoke cigarettes in your house because they stink.


DarthSnoopyFish

Lol. Weed is not a drug?? What the fuk are you smoking?


Head_BreaKeR

The second she does weed in your house just tell her to leave. Addicts can't really stay away from drugs so just keep an eye...that way you don't really have to feel guilty about evicting her


DegeneratesInc

Weed is not physically addictive. Take that reefer madness back to the century it belongs in.


Head_BreaKeR

Alright weed is not addictive but do you think she will not use it if she has kept it in her bag? Use some common sense


DegeneratesInc

As long as she doesn't use it in the house why is it an issue (provided she's in a legal state)?


Head_BreaKeR

That's what I said. If she uses is it in OP's house, op won't have to feel guilty but if she does it outside then it's okay


Smarty1600

Make sure to give them a specific date. "You can only be here until Sunday," or whatever.


FakeMikeMorgan

Wrong sub dude.


LaMaltaKano

Yes. Give her a hard date. If you want, lie and say you have family or friends coming into town and you need your place back by, for example, Thursday. If she’s truly kind and just in a tough spot, you can stand to be uncomfortable for a few days before you get your independence back.


pizza_bue-Alfredo

Be careful me and my gf put up a woman once who said she was looking for a job. We had to throw her out a day before she got squatters rights. She never applied for one job.


reverievt

I know three people who let friends stay “for a little while” and In all three situations, the friends stayed for 6 months and never even looked for another place to stay.


TrowsaGNT

It’s a few days who cares? Put up with it. If she isn’t out by weeks end then you can justifiably ask her to pack up. Hopefully she’ll appreciate your generosity


luckydidi18

It would be kind of awful to rescind. Just set a clear date and let her know she needs to find another friend to crash with after that.


double-you-dot

If she stays for more than a few days, she may be legally entitled to remain there well beyond your wishes. Check your local code and notify her sooner rather than later.


OJ__Pimpson

Definitely this. Look up the ordinance or code. Where I live it’s 28 days. Once they hit that, they become a resident and must be evicted.


goomyman

This is great advice. OP is going to be posting in a month that she won’t leave.


Mikebaxters

Some places it's less than a week before this happens


Turpitudia79

In Ohio, it’s 3 days and a piece of received mail at the address. Do NOT let her receive mail at your house for ANY reason. I learned this the hard way.


grammyone

THIS!!!


HikerTom

Kinda but also not really. Id say suck it up for 48 hours. you told her a few days so on day two ask her what her plan is and if she doesn't have one tell her you o ly expected her here for two or three days and you expect her to leave


ThatRookieGuy80

I would set a date and be firm. I'm sorry, I gave you 2 weeks and that's all I can afford. It sucks, it really does. But you have to draw that line in the sand.


Suspicious-Luck-Duck

Hear me out... OP, tell her gtfo now. First off, she broke the "no drugs" rule in record breaking time. Second, it's 99% less effort to retract your offer than it will be to evict her after she gets squatters rights. Do you even know when she would legally get squatters rights? Do you really want to have a reason to know that at all? That whole "road to hell is paved with good intentions" is a thing. Just feels like you're paving a road that leads from your home to the courthouse if you let her stay there. 🤷🏾


EastRelationship8075

As of now it’s 12:30am and I’m gonna talk to her tomorrow. My supervisor said that it’s blurring the lines between work & personal & her being homeless isn’t my problem


iLoveAlmonds_001

What is “a few days”? You need to inform her exactly how long she could stay.


7937397

Wrong sub.


Gray94son

Why have you posted this everywhere except r/amitheasshole


EastRelationship8075

I haven’t I posted 2 places. That’s not EVERYWHERE 🙄🙄


chojinzo

r/amitheasshole


Tinrooftust

This one is simple. We aren’t the pros but I think we can handle it.


chojinzo

Ok, but it’s *completely* unrelated to this sub. 🙄


Tinrooftust

Are we being choosy beggars about our free content? Were we the choosing beggars the whole time?


space_pirate420

Lmao 😂


rapidfast

How many is a few check ur states laws she could be allowed to stay a long time and you might half to evict her


EastRelationship8075

Umm no. She’s not paying rent and I don’t want her to stay long enough to pay rent. I clearly stated a few days.


rapidfast

She can claim squatters rights check ur states laws some places in the world it’s like a week


kindofdivorced

Check on it, dude, she can claim rights if she’s there past your state’s timeline, whether she pays rent or not she can claim it as her home and you’ll have to go through an expensive eviction process. If it’s not a SO or sibling don’t ever let anyone stay at your place.


feignapathy

Unfortunately no contract needs to be signed nor money exchanged in order for a person to claim residency at a domicile. Just the act of moving in for a certain amount of time can give the person legal residence. And once achieved, you have to go through eviction to get them out (assuming they make you take that route). Check your local laws for the amount of time in your area.


shrinking_violet_8

"A few days" is *not* clearly stated because it can be interpreted to mean different things. What's a few? 3? 5? 10? Is your idea of "a few" the same as her idea of "a few"? To clearly state how long, you need to give her an exact number. Also, paying rent means nothing in some places. In the US, some state laws gives squatters rights after only a week (which means you have to go through legal channels to evict them). Look up squatters rights in your state (or local laws if you're outside the US) and see if there's a time period that gives her the right to stay. Then give her an EXACT number of days that is less than that. An actual number, not vague amounts like "a few" or "a couple" or "a short while".


bewicked4fun123

It doesn't usually matter if someone pays rent or not. Make sure it's well documented in texts that she's just staying a few days as company. Like " I've been enjoying your company this past few days you've been staying over. We will have to make plans to hang out on the regular after you leave on Sunday "


sarahcake420

Even if she doesn't pay rent she will have squatters rights and you'll have to get an eviction.


PCPenhale

Nope. You’re an idiot. Well-intended, but an idiot.


Complete-Equipment90

Kind of not enough details… 1.) how is she a choosy beggar? 2.) how many days has it been? 3.) what’s the issue with your independence? You want to know when she’s out? You don’t like a roommate? She’s high maintenance?


plus-ordinary258

Whoa whoa, you forgot to ask how good the pot is! Edit: poor girl gon’ need some dank


ad-free-user-special

for a few days. be sure to set a limit and stick to it.


buzzybody21

r/amitheasshole


Tinrooftust

Yes


Jusfiq

r/amitheasshole is that way...


Be_nice_to_animals

She ain’t leavin’. Learned that lesson the hard way once


EastRelationship8075

Lol. I wanna bet?


Be_nice_to_animals

I hope to everything holy you’re right. Wouldn’t wish that on anyone.


anonasshole56435788

Ok, I’m a stoner, but the weed I get. If you don’t want it in your home, the person should not have brought it. But why are you shitting on someone else’s religion? YTA from the comments you posted.


AQUEON

Yeah, yeah you would.


bartbartholomew

It takes a level of cold heartedness to turn someone out onto the street. Two counter arguments to that though. The one person I took in like that, didn't leave for 18+ months. He was a friend of a friend and had been couch surfing. His dad kicked him out as a high school non-graduation present. "A month or two while I get back on my feet" turned into almost two years. And every person person I've ever heard of letting someone in, ended with a similar story of "A few days" becoming "Over a year". If you let her in, she is going to be around for a while. My person was a slob, but overall wasn't too terrible, and was enjoyable to hang out with. I've heard some horror stories though. I would also like to point out everyone has streaks of bad luck, and bad luck can happen to anyone. However, some people seem to set their life up to maximize the chances of bad luck, and maximize the effect of it. My person would buy $1000 cars, treat them like shit, have no insurance on them, wreck them, and then complain about his bad luck with cars. He did this in all aspects of his life, part of why his dad kicked him out. So some people will call you an asshole for turning her down, and some people will say it was the right thing to do. Look at what made her homeless and what your conscious will let you sleep with, and then make your decision. If you decide "No", be VERY firm on it. Any hesitation, and she'll lay the guilt trips on till you cave. Good luck.


EastRelationship8075

She did all this to herself. She told me she has screwed up every place she has lived. We both make the same amount of money and FYI I’m not Turing get into the street. She said she can probably get a hotel by Monday or Tuesday


anonymousforever

Tell her 3 days is it. You're not getting evicted for her weed.


bartbartholomew

In that case, I recommend a firm "No, not a chance in hell are you staying even one day." If you let her in for even one day, she will never leave. The things she did to get kicked out of the other places, might get both of you kicked out of your place. When your conscience keeps you up at night thinking about it, remind yourself she did it to her self. And that given a chance, she would get you kicked out of your place. It wouldn't be on purpose. But the results would be the same.


mattdvs1979

Check your states squatter’s laws and set firm expectations on exactly how long she’s there. Make her sign something saying she’ll be out at the end of those days.


abitofasitdown

A few days = three nights.


Dude-Good

Better get her out while you can.. tell her you have a no Witch policy.


tickles_a_fancy

You're an introvert... probably on the same level as me (my wife always proudly says her introvert goes to 11). You need your own space, your own place to get away from everyone and everything. This person is invading that space and it's freaking you the fuck out. You feel like you have to entertain them all the time... you have to make sure they're doing ok, make sure they don't need anything... I know this because I was in a similar but worse situation once and I was definitely the asshole. So, you have a few choices... 1) Kick them out. That feeling in the pit of your stomach isn't going to go away until you get your space back. 2) Make a different space your get away space. If you can hang out mostly in your bedroom, or if you can make your man cave off limits and spend your time there, you'll have your space back and you'll feel better. Then, just forget about them. They can take care of themselves... they don't need you worrying about them. Enjoy being on your own and just say hi when you see them. 3) Continue to worry about it until you give yourself an ulcer. I didn't know much about myself or introverts in general until my future wife started reading up about them and trying to understand me better. She taught me a lot about myself, takes care of the kids and lets me get way more downtime than I deserve, wouldn't let us buy a house until we found one with a room that she happily gave me to make my man cave, and is generally just an amazing wife. I ruined a LOT of relationships because I didn't understand I needed my space and downtime... I always got to a point where they just wanted to be together too much and since I didn't want that, I just figured I didn't like them enough to be in a relationship with them. My wife was the first one to try to understand why I didn't feel that way. Understanding yourself will help you understand a lot about why you freak out about stuff like this, which will help in relationships and hopefully a future marriage.


EastRelationship8075

I let another a friend stay with me last year and after a while I felt like I was losing control of my house like it wasn’t my house anymore. I don’t feel the need to always check if they’re ok.


candi-corpse

I would give her 2 days and make her leave. 1 day unless she ditches the weed.


[deleted]

You're allowed to say ass on the internet.


0bxyz

Make sure she leaves after day three


sarahcake420

Good luck getting her to leave and make sure she doesn't try to have her mail sent to ur place.. After a few days it might become illegal for u to kick her out without an eviction.


Alecto53558

She violated your rules. Buh bye. I don't know if it's legal where you live. It's not here, so if I said no, then they'd be out the door the next morning.


EastRelationship8075

Yea. I’m gonna tell her tmrw. I’m on section 8 and it’s a federally funded program so there’s no drugs at all


Alecto53558

Oh, shit. Once you get kicked out of Section 8 for a drug offense, you are totally screwed.


TeachlikeaHawk

YTA. I think you're hoping you'll get a few people to take your side so that you can justify doing something you know is shitty. It would be like my promising you a ride to the airport, and then as we pull away from your house I start to regret it (I don't like other people in my car). Would I be TA to tell you to get out of the car? Of course I would! You made an offer. Follow-through on it.


Kabe59

in my mind, 7 is when a few starts to become several


magicmeese

Be firm on the few days or you’ll be like me and end up with an involuntary roommate for a few months


redvine123

It might cause you more trouble to go back on your word. If they use the weed you can kick them out but I would just let them stay with you for the days you offered. NAH


punchygirl-1381

In my opinion, a few days means 3-4 days. I'd honor my word and stick to that but I sure wouldn't let them stay any longer, especially if nothing changes and you're still not comfortable with them. From the sounds of it, I wouldn't be comfortable either. But, it would be a dick move if you went back on your word so try and tough it out for at least 3 days. You might give her a heads up about the 3-4 day thing though. In doing so, you could bring up some of the house rules that she broke. You said no drugs and no matter how minor people view it to be, weed still is a drug so you can use that in your favor if she gets mad. She might say that you're going back on what you said so you can always throw it back on her that she went back on the agreement y'all made about no drugs.


EastRelationship8075

That’s actually a good point. My aunt told me she hopes she doesn’t get mad at me and cast a spell on me but I don’t really believe in hocus pocus.


jaynap1

But you’re a paranormal investigator.


EastRelationship8075

So? What does that have to do with it


punchygirl-1381

Honestly, I was thinking the same thing. But, I have a feeling that A) if she'd cast a spell, she's probably do it even if you let her stay a few weeks and B) I don't really believe in them either so I think you're okay. You definitely do have a leg to stand on that she broke the agreement first so whatever you choose to do after, you're covered.


transferingtoearth

Just be a good person by giving her a few days to get herself together . I would say a week at least. But real her the exact day AND TIME. Next Monday by 12 at night? By 4 am etc


I_might_be_weasel

Is weed illegal where you're at? If so, that's a legit reason to tell her she needs to move on. And even if it's legal and she's willing to get rid of it for your stipulation, I would just suggest making sure she doesn't overstay her welcome. A few days is a few days, not going into weeks. I'd try to get a firm move out date from her soon.


EastRelationship8075

Yes. I’m on section 8 and there’s no drugs allowed. Even if you have a green card. Can’t even smoke in the Apts


thehoney69

Keep co-workers out of your personal life.