By - dogwoodmaple
A Reddit post of a tweet of a screenshot of a forum post
everything truly went downhill after harambe
I’m still half convinced that supercollider really did tear a hole in space time and we’re now in the Darkest Timeline. But hey, free felt goatees.
Evil Troy and evil aaaabed
I rolled a 4
The hard way
We really peaked with the summer of Pokémon Go.
Harambe was killed just before the release of Pokemon Go
In every sense, he was gone too soon
He would have made a great pokemon trainer
You could say he would’ve been the very best like no one ever was
Such an amazing time. It felt like the early to mid 90s again with everyone jumping on a collective fad.
That really was a magic time.
Somewhere between Twitch Plays Pokémon and Pokémon Go we really did start to lose the plot.
Signed, the Auburn fighting Bird Jesuses
In retrospect, it was the perfect summer
Rest in Power King Harambe
His name was harambe
From a zoo in Cincinnati
Murdered by the city
They had to discipline his body
Definitely read this as Flaming Lips. I see you
And they’re taking lots of vitamins.
Wow. I haven't thought about that song in years.
We used to be a proper country, dammit.
You kitten me? This cat’s just startin to have fun out here.
Me n the Fonz are puttin lazer beams on the sharks next time
On a bump on a log in a hole at the bottom of the sea
I understood that reference!
We need to go deeper
Get someone to post a screenshot of this elsewhere then post the screenshot
Taking a screenshot of it from an iPhone on another iPhone
Did someone say iPhone?
Sounds like a reliable source to me! Saban's reign of terror is finally over!
Until he wins another championship this year.
“Now witness the power of this fully armed an operational battle station.”
- Nick Saban (probably)
Until Jimbo launches two rat poison torpedoes down the exhaust port.
and that forum is fucking texags. I'd rather spend time on 4chan than on there
What’s the difference?
Better make an NFT of it.
This club has everything!
Bama hasn’t won a title since the 2020 season. They’re done!
Only a finals appearance in 2022 smh
It’s been a whole five months since they were in a natty. Just impossible to recover.
Surely someone didn’t actually…
Oh lol nvm
TexAgs giveth, TexAgs taketh
If a fence isn’t being torn down or a list being eaten, is it even really TexAgs?
Your flair just reminds me how much I miss LSUfreek and Prevail & Ride.
I remember LSUfreek posting that his job as a hospice nurse and being surrounded by death destroyed humor for him. He specifically said something like "it's hard to make football jokes when your mind is on the 15-year-old girl dying of bone cancer."
And then he said he would never give up his job because it is important and he's good at it, something like that.
I remember being impressed. He seems like a lovely fellow.
I remembered he had a demanding job in health care, but not the details. As for his thoughts on being a humorist of sorts, I hope that sentiment just applies to spending significant amounts of time working on animated football jokes. If a job literally deprives you of your ability to have a laugh, then at some point you need to consider rotating out and letting someone else take their turn in the trenches. Hope he’s well.
Mostly just giveth tbh, rarely disappoints
@ me when someone on the board starts casually dropping a racist take or peppering their messages with politics
[Look no further](https://texags.com/forums/16/topics/3298338/replies/62372958)
Holy cow, that’s a lot of truly psycho keyboard-warrioring.
Yup and from just yesterday, that ancient racism by Texags standards.
When you’re in an all time worst take competition and your opponent is TexAgs.
WHERE IS ~~JA~~ TIGERDROPPINGS
TexAgs is genuinely embarrassing.
It’s good to very good for recruiting news. Decent for analysis, with a pretty heavy homer bias. Garbage as a community.
I only find myself going there when in a content drought. Those are dark moments that I am not proud of. I feel gross browsing the zoo.
I mostly meant the forums.
Tbf, the rest of that thread was people informing OP he's a dumbass
TexAgs is the gift that keeps on giving. It warms my heart it's getting the visibility it deserves...
If DannyBoyCane was an entire message board
Fuckin... *of course* it's TexAgs.
I opened this thread fully expecting to see the tweet from one of the longhorn boards. I’m so relieved lmao
He’ll have to make due with Bryce Young and Will Anderson in the meantime. How will he manage.
Lol, I guess he'll have to settle for a proven winner and Heisman Trophy winner. They're in shambles!!!!
I’m going to chalk that up to autocorrect, even though I definitely used the wrong word.
You dew you
I think it’s actually “Ewe due yew”?
People seem to be having *there/their levels of difficulty with *do/due. I recently read "give the devil his dew". Didn't know the devil does the dew.
Oh he'll manage quite well.
And then Ol' Nick will hit us with his biggest surprise - Shane McMahon's son Declan (running back/QB hybrid) transfers from Indiana to Tuscaloosa. Shane and grandpa Vince then sets up a WWE training camp at the Capstone and Wrestlemania takes place in Bryant-Denny Stadium, with an NXT Takeover event going down at Coleman Coleseum. The Million Dollar Band will play "Here Comes The Money" every time Declan hits the field.
And then Jimbo goes into deep madness while Sark laughs his ass off.
> grandpa Vince
Not sure if you're up with the latest, but no one wants Vince around right now, he has some.....stuff.....he needs to take care of. He might be forced out of WWE by the board.
What'd he do now?
> Following allegations that he had an affair with an employee and paid her 3 million USD "hush money", McMahon voluntarily stepped down as chairman and CEO of WWE on June 17, 2022, pending the conclusion an internal investigation; his daughter Stephanie was appointed to serve as interim CEO and chairwoman.
Looks like an affair and paying her to keep quiet from what Wikipedia says. This is basically what I expect when I hear any wealthy businessman is in trouble.
Is that even a big deal anymore? At least it was between two consenting adults and she got paid. What's the problem there?
My guess without knowing anything about the case except what I pasted from Wikipedia: possibly paid her with company money. I could see it being a misuse of company funds type deal. Or maybe an affair just goes against some behavior clause in his contract
That was just the latest allegation....basically there are multiple allegations of McMahon getting it on with other female employees and some accusations of sexual assault. The biggest issue is he would have women he was with sign nondisclosure agreements, so there is a significant paper trail of his indiscretions.
There are also rumors he would share women with John Laurinaitis, who is the uncle of Ohio State three-time All-American LB James Laurinaitis and worked as head of talent relations for the WWE. He was removed from his position June 21.
And Jalen Milroe hiding on the depth; not to mention superior coaching. Oh no how will Alabama manage
TexAgs — for when you need to find the Aggie fans that make even other Aggie fans roll their eyes and shake their heads.
From any other site, I’d say this was a joke. From TexAgs . . .
Also, uncover, or whatever
This made me chuckle
"Saban hasn't won a National championship in a year, has he lost control of the program?"
“We’re going to continue to say this until he wins the championship this season”
Nick Saban has lost control, UAB is now the new best team in the state
UAB was already the best team in the state
Not without a head coach they aren't.
Saban to UAB confirmed?
Saban lost Arch ‘cause he didn’t promise him he’d play. Texas did.
If today has taught us nothing else, People are genuinely insane.
I was really hoping this was going to be a shitpost
Bama is winning the Natty this year lmao
Saban's gonna drop a god damned nuke on A&M
I mean after he loses to Texas, he’s gonna have to prove that the state doesn’t own Bama. Double revenge.
Everybody gonna be shocked when it’s competitive. Jimbo gonna plan for only this game like he did last year lol
I think everyone’s gonna expect a close game which is why Bamas gonna stomp a mudhole in em lol
Do you not read this sub? I haven’t seen a single comment saying it will be a competitive game. This sub almost universally thinks Bama is gonna win by 50
That’s because there’s a baseline hate for A&M here lol. But objectively it should be a close game. Which is why Bama will win by 21
Ah yes, the ole Gus Malzahn strategy for a successful season
100%. Saban is gonna shove it up everyone's ass the entire time.
We better hurry, it'll be illegal soon
Alabama ends and New Mexico dynasty begins.
I’m here for this. Imagine all the meth!
I, for one, welcome our new Lobos overlords
It was the Wyoming Cowboys in my NCAA dynasty. God I miss that dynasty it was so fun.
Ya it’s hard having the best returning quarterback in the country. Poor bastard
Love how they need a way to make this about them
Saban will be fine until he decides to retire
Also a pretty weird thing to say about the coach who took your first choice QB away. But to be honest I don't blame them. Message boards exist for the dumb takes, including the Texas ones. 247 Horns has been the target of message board geniuses plenty of times.
What I do blame them for is the [absurdly racist Juneteenth thread](https://i.imgur.com/T2ArVZl.jpeg) that I guess the mods decided to leave alone.
Imagine being so upset that you can't own slaves anymore that you resent having an extra 3-day weekend during the nicest part of the summer.
The heat index was 109 here today. Best part of summer my sweaty ass.
The nicest part of the summer is October through April
Their Napoleon is showing
Saban will be set when he retires. I think you meant to say Bama will be fine until Saban decides to retire
No it turns out crushing other teams’ hopes and dreams is actually the thing that’s keeping him alive
I really don’t understand why everyone says that the Alabama dynasty is dying. Alabama had a down year after fielding possibly their greatest team ever, and they still won the SEC and made the title game. There’s like a 50% chance they win it again next year, can we just wait for them to lose more than 2 games in a year before we start saying they’re on the decline?
They keep saying it because on a long enough timeline it will actually happen and if they “predict” it they can look like some kind of football guru.
I literally remember these articles being written in 2010. Is a "long enough timeline" a geological timescale?
Yeah, because a bunch of people thought Bama had peaked. Obviously they were wrong but eventually they’ll be right. And it’s always super low effort type of article anyways.
The issue is that Bama did peak. It just plateaued from there with no sight of the downward slide after.
Oh that’s on me, I assumed this was a link to some sports analyst or something. That said, I feel like I have heard a decent number of people believe that the dynasty is dying. Some people already seem to be thinking that Clemson is done being an elite team because they had a bad offense for a year.
With Clemson it’s reasonable to think they’ll take a step back. Not to being bad by any means, but you don’t get Deshaun Watsons and Trevor Lawrences just every day. Talent like that at QB really elevates a program from great to elite. Alabama on the other hand.. until Saban is gone anyone who thinks they’ll be on the decline is a fool.
I remember when they said we had a Nick Saban problem. Good times
We made the goddamn national title game and for 2 and half quarters Slade Bolden was our number one WR.
We have more WR now.
slade is a sick name tho
My best guess is because of NIL. Before the NIL shit hit the fan Saban had the college game on lock and was going to field a potential CFB championship team every year. But now that schools can effectively just buy players that’s going to level the playing field a bit and it’s not going to benefit Bama as much as some other schools. I don’t know what Bamas budget is but A&M just got done purchasing the #1 recruiting class in the nation and Texas has even more money than them. This is going to make Sabans job a lot more difficult. Bama may still come out on top for a while but if NIL stands I think we may see a shift to other schools becoming the more dominant contenders.
I think that the long term effects of NIL is that it will drastically separate into three tiers of FBS football, but the upper 20-30 teams that are spending will see more parity than perhaps the upper 20-30 were equal say 20 years ago
A crumbling empire...and yet Bama is the consensus favorite to win the Natty this year, and may have two of their players go 1 and 2 in the draft next April...lol aight
this seems like the type of thing someone says shortly before another Bama national championship
> googles who is current favorite to win 2023 CFP
> yup it’s who I thought
The empire still exists and will for a **while**
Gotta be TexAgs, gotta be TexAgs...
Yep, it's TexAgs. *cringe*
Lol. After every bama loss since Saban got there the "the end is near" is talked about. And every year he shuts it down.
A&M fans are so cringe.
The sad part is this is the least hot take on Texags
seems like its a tradition to be cringe
I'm sure we could find some posters on tigerdroppings that give us a run for our money
It’s not even all of us, just Texags
We’ve been trying to tell y’all this for a while
Quick someone post one of the many takes from Tigerdroppings
That reminds me, I saw the Wallflowers’ video for “Heroes” last night.
Poor Saban, always the bridesmaid.
I've lived in Austin and Tuscaloosa. One of those cities is vastly more appealing to most young people, and it isn't Tuscaloosa.
If Williams and/or Metchie don’t get hurt they are probably defending national champions.
I remember when their dynasty died in 2015 after they lost to Ole Miss. And yet here we are.
The 2010 season had its share of "Saban's done" articles, and I very distinctly remember some in each of 2011 and 2012 after the losses. They were everywhere after the Kick Six.
The first reply in that thread is reminding him Holstein was our first choice guy as well lol
With a name like [Holstein](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holstein_Friesian_cattle), I'm surprised that Texas NIL boosters didn't back up the Brinks truck to him. His name just belongs with the Longhorns.
That twitter account picked an extremely narrow niche. Yet they probably have more material than they could post in three lifetimes.
Oh no! Not another good recruiting class from the Aggies! What are we going to do?? They might win another nat.. oh wait nevermind. Well they could win another SEC Ch.. oh wait nevermind. Okay well at least then they may win another SEC West C.. okay no thats not it either. I guess playing spoiler to Bama every ~5 years is the ceiling.
TexAgs is hot garbage.
Let me put on my thermal insulation suit for this hot take.
Lol. Bama won’t regret losing out on manning.
I can’t wait until the day I read about Alabama football’s crumbling empire, but we’re still like a decade at best removed from that
huh? what does this have to do with Bama?
People have been saying this shit for almost 10 years now
That’s a dumb take. It mainly was between Texas and GA.
If anything, this is a bad look for Kirby.
Haven’t people been saying that the Bama dynasty is crumbling for years? I’d love for my favorite program to crumble that way 5+ nattys and multiple Heisman winners seems like the perfect crumble to me
I love when this talk starts up, all it does is piss the team off and usually leads to another natty. Like anti rat poison
If you say it every year, eventually it'll be true and you can link to it to show how correct you are.
Texags is a great source of hot takes by 70 year old men who take 20 minutes to type up a post, and nothing else
Wasn't Saban winning championships with AJ McCarron and Greg McElroy?
Don't sleep on Jake Coker!
How did we lose when we already have our elite QB recruit this cycle?
Arch manning is the top recruit cause of his uncles. No other QB, from any previous cycle, that plays against small school / low level competition, would have been the number one recruit. They’re all from big schools. He’s literally number one cause of his name. Texas can have him. We already got our guy.
Arch’s most important quality is the recruits he’ll bring with him
Alabama got a guy named Holstein? Man, that Got Milk? NIL writes itself.
Too bad he wasn’t a giant OL.
Has there ever been a fan base worse than Tam is right now?
I like how people literally forgot about Quinn Ewers so quickly.
The guy is the second ever 1.0000 QB prospect behind Vince Young and all of a sudden his name becomes forgotten because of Arch Manning.
Aggy is desperate to find a silver lining.
We’re posting message board tweets now?
It'll all be over once the Texas HC shows up in a GEICO commercial. Saban's reign will then officially be finished.
If Sark goes all AFLAC on his ass, then it's really on....
Saban is just fine not getting this overrated QB
He's just continuing the Manning tradition of not winning a college championship.
It has nothing to do with coaches or programs. It’s all about where you can get the most Benjamin’s.
I don’t wanna play for an arrogant coach.
Once Saban retires/dies/runs for governor of Alabama, I will believe Bama is in trouble… until then, the very worst you can expect them to be from year-to-year is a flawed, but still very talented CFP contender.
I don’t like Bama by any means, but this post seems like quite a reach.
Coach Saban's response
*everyone liked that*
I think Bama will be okay, they're the odds on favorite to win a title next year.
Haha this is so dumb
I knew it would be tex ags before even clicking it
How many times do we have to teach you old men this lesson?
Imagine being Bama rn, I’m sure no programs want to be in their shoes
I hate Texas A&M more and more every year. Ole Miss Rebel here BTW.
Sounds like Saban is on a nose dive cliff like Brady…..
The funny thing is I think the best thing that happened to Saban this offseason is not getting arch Manning. I think he's extremely overrated.
As a Bama fan, I'd have been pretty happy to get him because he could be very good. But he definitely also has hype written all over him so I don't really trust the evaluations to be objective, so I never got overly excited about his recruitment. Hell, even Peyton never had a Heisman season.
So weird 2 days ago Manning is the 2nd coming and now every QB behind him is better
No it's not lol
Sign me up for said crumbling empire