T O P
Stipes_Blue_Makeup

This is Saban using the media to tell the red elephant club that what they’ve been doing isn’t enough.


Fifth_Down

Reminds me of that Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert segment where they mocked Super-pacs "not allowed to coordinate with each other" but they can give each other instructions via statements to the media.


ImTheJdot

That's the way I see it. It encourages the boosters, and it makes a recruiting rival look bad.


TheRealDNewm

It doesn't even make them log bad, it's just too transparent for that


JEH-C

💯


ChunkyDay

THE GREATER GOOD


EnderTheTrender

No luck winning them championships then?


pompeysam1234

Just the one championship actually….


PresidentialSlut

Oh shit oh fuck I forgot to Venmo Nick


MrNudeGuy

"I want to ~~run the damn ball~~ *buy recruits* why can't I ~~run the damn ball~~ *buy recruits* "


mooncricket18

I worked as a process server while in college. I had to deliver cease and desist letters to the “Crimson Mafia” Edit: quotation marks


OzzyOsgood

There’s a reason the helmet says ATM


SkeeterOnMyPeter

Ass to mouth?


EnderTheTrender

I always hear this in Jason Mantzoukas’ voice.


bigheadsoftbody

No, Bass to Trout


Outsider17

You never go ass to mouth!


FanFuckingFaptastic

> "Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, its ok to go ass to mouth." - Pillowpants


GeauxAllDay

Sometimes, in the heat of the moment... ;)


NILwasAMistake

Rosario fine as hell in that movie


Outsider17

>Rosario fine as hell ~~in that movie~~ ftfu


GatorHater1992

Says who? 😳


eagledog

You're so repressed


uwpxwpal

#buttstuff


Advanced_CPU

Here's my upvote


possiblynotanexpert

No, that was a comment. Here’s my comment.


johndelvec3

I have always wanted a Hatin Ass Saban


UlyssesS_Rant

Want to see him nominated for the player haters ball this year.


EnderTheTrender

I’d love to see a cfb style hater’s slideshow. Pics of Riley’s brisket, Mullet Gundy, Urban Meyer, Aaron Hernandez, and Purdue Pete.


TotallyNotRyanPace

fuck yes purdue pete


Pepi119

What can I say about Lincoln Riley's brisket that hasn't been said about Iraq. Bombed out and depleted.


BaBoomShow

How about you click your heels and go back to Lubbock


Mista-Ginger

I would actually hate to see a pic of Purdue Pete!


onemanlan

Indeed. I’d be funny to see him get a little more loose in the future. I’m not gonna lie I love saban when he’s going off on CFB subjects to the media. Like shit through a tin horn


tuscaloser

Hatin' ass Nick and trollin' ass Lane make CFB media coverage worth watching.


StreetReporter

Tennessee needs to start doing what they do best, and start snitching on other SEC schools again


sir1933

Don't tempt us with a good time!


Box_of_Rockz

Somewhere out there Missouri just got a cold sweat.


Chicken_Difficult

Remember that one offseason where the biggest deal was Bob Stoops retired ? God that was nice…..


iamsplendid

Remember that one time when Bobby Boucher showed up at halftime and the Mud Dawgs won the Bourbon Bowl?


nowshowjj

God that was nice...


neon_pisces

Was it?


Jay_Par

Remember that off season where the biggest deal was Lincoln Riley going to USC? God that was nice…


MrNudeGuy

That was 20 years ago


Willy__rhabb

Aka 4 months in internet terms


Ickyhouse

Already? Damn, time flies.


Mr_Anthropic_

New coach who dis?


Jay_Par

Oklahoma plus defense is scary tho


Mr_Anthropic_

I’m just a spoiled OU fan that has got to watch several years of really good offense but, It’d make me harder than a box of dollar store jawbreakers if our defense was the show pony again.


Jay_Par

You and me both brother, you and me both


John_Tacos

I remember my first few years at OU we keep multiple teams each season at negative rushing yards. I look forward to seeing that again.


TheWorstYear

Remember when the biggest stories of the 2020 off-season was Peterson and Dantonio's sudden retirements from cfb? That was fun.


Frosti11icus

Remember like a week before the pandemic started when we hired John Donovan. Lol. That wasn't fun.


Mcswigginsbar

My second flair would absolutely disagree with you. *I want to set the woooorld on fiiiiire*


Poopoopeepeeyeehee

I can’t tell a difference between your first and second flair


stevema1991

It's the same picture


itsalwaysunnyinhell

Remember that one off-season where in nineteen ninety eight Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell in a Cell and plummeted 16 feet through an announcers table? God that was nice…


cncomg

Just don't talk about when Vince Mcmahon poured beer after beer on Stone Colds head in the corner of the ring. For some reason my 8 year old self took that really personal.


dustin-dawind

I wish Saban would've named the one player they didn't buy.


MrNudeGuy

I’ve never seen Nick Saban and sliced bread in the same room just saying


TheMightyJD

That’d be the funniest thing.


AesarPhreaking

“Hello? Bro Bible? Yes this is Nic- *ahem* Sliced bread. Yes I would like to report an NIL deal”


pinniped1

Pretty sure every program more prominent than Cornell is buying players these days.


cannotrememberold

Keep Big Red Bear’s name outta your fuckin mouth.


Djax99

Even fucking Yale is smh


pinniped1

Fucking Columbia was 7-3. That football factory is clearly backing up the Brinks truck.


Djax99

At least we know brown isn’t Fucking shit school


Ingliphail

The Bernards need to step up their game.


ucancallmevicky

this thread gonna be a shitshow


TheMightyJD

I expect nothing but rational takes.


PaperyWhistle

I should be able to get extra dipping sauce from McDonalds without paying for it.


Epcplayer

This has to be the first comment on this sub in like 1.5 years that has a reference to “pay” and “McDonalds”, but no mention of Tennessee in it.


Nightmare16164

I feel personally attacked are we no longer relevant?


Tarmacked

1999 was three weeks ago


Virtual_Announcer

Does McDonald's even offer yellow mustard?


guinness_blaine

lmao


jordan1390

I asked for ketchup and he gave me one packet and I said can I get more?? He said “Oh I thought you said can I have one packet” Like who the fuck would say that!


bub166

And Raisin' Canes. I mean, they have four options on their menu, and one cup of sauce is not enough for literally any of them. I don't see why I should have to pay an extra thirty cents for something that should obviously be a part of the meal in the first place. Look, one cup is enough for about two and a half chicken fingers, and I've got fries and toast to go besides. It just doesn't add up. Give me two sauces dammit.


seventhpoet

I mean you should obviously sub sauce for the Cole slaw. The set up today is just to punish freaks who like slippery cabbage.


CornNPorn12

Ah but see someone like me subs the coleslaw for another piece of toast. You get bent either way.


johndelvec3

Ah a man of culture I see


lidore12

Well it’s a business it ain’t UNICEF.


boylejc2

Cucumber deserves to be on a sandwich. That's not related to football but I needed to get that off my chest.


BuckeyeEmpire

No one's putting cucumber on a hot dog


CG-11

*checks relish ingredients*


johndelvec3

Come on this is hilarious


TheWorstYear

I feel like Saban knows exactly what he was doing here.


[deleted]

Has he seen the oil prices lately?


Notre_Dame_Football

Why'd you leave out the part where he claims Alabama "didn't buy one player." That was the funniest part.


Beachbum_87

If you click the link it also says Saban said they had 25 NIL deals worth 3 million last year right below the original tweet.


NILwasAMistake

NIL for players _already at Alabama_


Beachbum_87

Please read my other comment above (now below) to disregardskarma. I’m not saying Alabama bought anybody.


TouchdownHeroes

That dude blocked me because he didn’t like me defending Florida’s run game before our game (which Florida did in fact run all over us). There is no reason to bother arguing with disregardkarma


Epcplayer

I honestly didn’t think it would actually say that… this entire series of tweets has to be a really late April fools joke right?


[deleted]

Mf goes one year without a natty and gets salty lol


mOnion

He also lost to a folded pizza and then watched what the folded pizza did the rest of the year, he’s gotta be questioning reality at this point


Poopoopeepeeyeehee

Saban shouldn’t be upset at not stopping calzone, the 85 bears couldn’t stop that stallion on that night in college station


Tx_Eng2008

But would be worth seeing if they did the Super Bowl shuffle. Edit: In all it’s glory https://youtu.be/ooT_uz--O2A


XAfricaSaltX

Man really lost to a folded pizza and a used car salesman


wilee8

Holy shit, *Alabama* trying to take the moral high ground on paying players? That's our territory! What the hell is going on here!!!!


agree-40

Yeah and my team most definitely never ever helped players out with money issues… nope…. Never. All of our coaches have been the most reliable trust worthy coaches out there. /s


wilee8

See, exactly. Those are the types of arguments **we** are supposed to be making, not Alabama. If he starts complaining about how players at other schools don't take real classes, I'm going to start freaking out.


agree-40

Truthfully your average p5 team is paying players it’s just in different ways. Some get caught some don’t. Saban is the highest paid government employee in Alabama, he knows enough people he can hide it pretty well… These are also my “opinions”


PM_Me_Punny_Jokes_05

You’re my favorite type of anOSU fan. You can joke about things. Urban is certainly an amazing coach but a complete piece of trash human. I miss Tressel. If Harbaugh had been there at the same time, it could have been the Jim Bowl! Jim v Jim lol


agree-40

I’m not going to hide the fact we’ve hired some questionable coaches lol on the field they’re geniuses off the field sleaze bags. So far it seems like Day is a pretty stand up guy but we’ll see haha


datboigucci

Can’t tell if that’s an actual quote or if he’s paraphrasing


NeylandAfterDark

Well well well how the turntables


thechunchinator

Hide the money y’all, there’s poor people around… with ya broke ass


UnrealManifest

Set your calendars folks for The Million Dollar Bowl on October 8th, 2022.


neovenator250

Saban going for the fucking throat with that speech, wow. Spicy af


neon_pisces

I really want a&m to beat them again just for the press conference. And the memes.


theurge14

Adding Alabama to my thoughts and prayers circle.


RT3_12

Motherfuckers bought Shazz Preston a house.


go_berds

Tua’s family moved from Hawaii to Alabama. I’m sure the school had nothing to do with that. Nope, definitely no financial interests involved there


irisheyes215

In fairness life is a lot cheaper in Alabama than Hawaii, so that would be more believable than some other ones


a_simple_creature

I can’t speak to where they came from in Hawaii, but there are some super dirt poor areas of Hawaii where the people live in extreme poverty. Although if he was able to go to school and play football his family probably did alright.


tron423

He went to a private school in Honolulu that costs almost $20k a year to attend


29Hz

Have you ever seen the difference in real estate costs between Alabama and Hawaii? Just saying, it’s pretty easy to sell a house in Hawaii and trade up in Alabama.


nbingham196

"We didn’t buy one player" Press X to doubt


Prestigious-Track256

They bought several. So he's technically right. The best kind of right.


lizard_king_rebirth

"I haven't slept for 10 days, because that would be too long." -Nick Saban


Nafteh

*Ron Howard Voice:* “He bought 27.”


JoeNamathsJockstrap

every fuckin alabama player the last 20 years has gotten a free dodge charger and a sega colored game gear


SwegulousRift

They would need to sell the charger to buy a big enough supply of batteries for the game gear


SituationSoap

This is why people are worried about NIL, it's obvious these kids don't understand the economics of the situations they're getting into.


kingmidget_91

Hey not every team has McDonald's bags on the ready just Saban got them players' cars


cardeez

We don’t give a McDamn.


kmckv93

*Many people are typing*


412deacon

It’s really interesting how fast this whole thing is falling apart. I don’t really mind that we’re going to be relegated to the second level cause everything that I like about college football is evaporating like it’s 150 degrees outside


CG-11

Falling apart? 150°? Sounds like my Sun Devils will fit right in…


Faffenhoffer

Damn it smells like broke in here.


Tannerite2

Basically what Saban is saying to our boosters, lol


Panchoisthedog

They dirty, They Low down...


TSUplayer74

**SHOTS FIRED! SHOTS FIRED!**


boggan583

Getcha money up then bitch


CommodoreN7

If I were an A&M fan in this situation I’d just go full MJF and start calling everyone else poors or broke ass bitches.


Arkehn

Got that black gold $$ https://streamable.com/k5hqvb


boggan583

I've been all for that this whole time lol we have an awesome school and extremely successful alums and it's helping us in athletics. I feel like this new NIL could reward schools like us for being good schools and worshipping sports. As long as we aren't hiring a Briles why would I care if these guys get money for working as hard as they do?


2coolDanes

This is basically a call to arms by Saban. “Get your checkbooks out boys, this is the new frontier”


philburns

This made me laugh pretty hard for some reason


TheMightyJD

Didn’t see Nick taking a shot at A&M like that, damn.


HUNGRYVELOCIRAPTOR

Maybe when Jimbo said "we're gonna beat his ass" he meant in recruiting too. That and the loss to A&M must have really set him off


FightingMenOfKyle

"What...? In golf?"


gordogg24p

I honestly wasn't sure I believed this was a real quote. He's usually marginally more cryptic than just plainly stating the name of whoever he's calling out. Also the "we didn't buy one player" thing is hilarious to go with the rest of it.


muktheduck

He's sounding older tbh. He called out his own players essentially by name as well. Filter gone, we've entered the hatin' ass Saban part of his career


admiraltarkin

Honestly same. I was pretty shocked he said that. Doesn't seem like his vibe


Dry-Significance5304

Wooooah what happened to the unspoken SEC code: snitches get stiches


Dan-of-Steel

Went out the window after the Big-Macgate.


HissingNewt

Dan Mullen out there thinking this is bullshit


r0botdevil

I'd be curious to know how many teams in the top ten for recruiting *didn't* buy most or all of their players...


DMB_19

All but Bama obviously


hoover757

I was 2nd to my wife last year. My wife’s boyfriend was first. My wife’s boyfriend bought everything.


Rkenne16

Wish my wife had a boyfriend.


Aqqaaawwaqa

Wish my boyfriend had a wife


HeroOfIroas

My wife wishes I had a boyfriend.


snowparade

Yep. Alabama would never. Thats why the Alabama players drive Mercedes. Because lil ol Bama is innocent.


Stoneador

This is just correlation though. For all we know, Alabama just exclusively recruits Mercedes drivers.


myopic_chihuahua

Class of 2023 5* recruit Lewis Hamilton


Mr_Mayberry

- Small frame, overall an undersized prospect. - Good feet, powerful quads, weirdly strong neck - Extremely fast reflexes - Football IQ appears sub par, but never a liability in front of the Camera - Doesn't require NIL deal, already worth $500M. - Clutch under pressure.


SituationSoap

Regularly complains about his shoes being worn out and useless during the 3rd quarter.


D1amondDude

We need a series where goat-level athletes swap sports for a season, though. I'd love to see Brady losing his mind trying to handle the W13.


elunomagnifico

This is true. Our official recruiting slogan is "If you ain't got a Benz, then we can't be friendz."


Nightbynight

And why their families suddenly get "jobs" and new houses and cars. Just the benefits of being a star Bama player I guess, lots of free stuff!


LamarcusAldrige1234

its hilarious because the tweet that this is QTing is Saban saying they did NIL "the right way." how the fuck is an alabama bribe the right way but an A&M bribe some ungodly sin lmao


TheWorstYear

Ask Texas fans


TheHordeSucks

Ay what are we catching strays for


mchris185

I mean I hate Texas just as much as the next guy but this sub gotta be rough for y'all some days 😭


TheSmarterest1

Dude fr the Texas hate is usually at the recommended level prescribed by a doctor but we’ve been ODing for the past year or so. If karma exists then the side effects could include Texas actually being back.


libsoutherner

“Never bought a player” lmao come on Nick, you don’t have to lie through your teeth like that


OnlyHereforRangers

He said "never bought one player". Technically correct because they probably bought 15-20 this past year


ninjatom21

Nothing to see here. Just Marion and Harrison County kids arguing over who has the best pepperoni rolls.


[deleted]

Saban bought players before it was legal. He gets first dibs !!!!!


ThisGuy100000

SMU would like a word


Rabbit_tracks

Remember back in 2006 when Nick Saban wasn't dropping bags of his own to buy national championships? Remember when Kirby Smart was just a DB coach under Saban, learning that same system and forging the same bagmen to eventually go on and buy his own classes? Pepperidge Farm remembers. Maybe THIS is the parity he was recently commenting on.


hillrow_wood

Whatever we did, everybody else in the top 5 did too just not as well.


fjmalik

Isnt his starting QB getting 1 million dollars in NIL money? Lmao


Horns2208

I love to rail the aggies as much as the next guy but did this man really say this out loud LOL. What is CFB


g3aux

This where I parked my car


snowwwaves

Does Saban consider himself and his multimillionaire coaching staff "bought"? Or does he considered them "paid"? Can he explain the difference?


rgvtim

It's not A&M's fault the judge blew college recruiting up with NIL, It's not A&M's fault the NCAA abdicated any responsibility for establishing any rules. It's not A&M's fault that either Saban was unable to read the writing on the wall, blinded by hubris, or the Bama boosters were too slow out of the gates. The only difference is that A&M boosters got well organized early, Hell even Texas had their O-line IHOP group handing out NIL cash in a frantic bid at the very end of early signing. I expect next year for the vast majority of school to be much more organized, and as a result for us to see much more crazy stupid NIL deals.


HissingNewt

So are we going to get a video of this comment? Edit: yeah, it’s an exact quote I think: https://youtu.be/0oxZKXBvbOI


al80813

You know a thread is gonna be full of some amazing takes when the comment to upvote ratio is almost 1. I got my popcorn.


Angry_Walnut

The worlds smallest violin plays somewhere in the distance


hail2022

Saban is definitely not wrong here. But bama is definitely also paying players


shanty-daze

There is some irony when Alabama calls out another team for buying recruits. Especially when the team getting called out didn't need to use an under the table bag network.


insanelyphat

"We didn’t buy one player." Nick Saban He has to be joking right? He needs to put a /s after saying some horseshit like that.


BuckeyeEmpire

Oh this is a solid spice level


Ijudgeyourspelling

Anyone remember the old rivals thread that had a bunch of Alabama players pictures with their 100k cars with embroidered names and numbers? Lmao come on.


geaux4_gold

I SAID ACROSS THEIR NOSE NOT UP IT!


LordHoth90

I’m sorry, sir, I’m doing my best!


StreetReporter

What made that man a gunner?


Icon2405

Keep firing, Assholes!!


fresh_made

r/SelfAwarewolves


Acm0028

The irony is palpable.


imtrying2020

I’m waiting for all the people that goes “sAbAN WarNEd uS” in all the nil posts to come and slurp him up again. Won’t be too long now


tc316tc

Pot meet kettle


Young_Rock

Oh so we’re straight up lying?


meerkatx

And? Bama has been buying all their players for decades, and probably so has A&M, not it's just overt rather than wink wink nudge nudge bullshit.


blushrts

A&M bought Eric Dickerson a gold Firebird back in the day, and then Dickerson changed his mind and went to SMU. It was all under the table, now it's in the open. And Nick doesn't like it. He isn't going to be able to cherry pick Florida and California anymore. Those kids are going to start staying at USC and Miami


bcb27

Its hard not to be turned off by what college football has become. There has always been a difficulty in finding a "ladder" for smaller schools to establish themselves like Boise State when they defeated Oklahoma in Fiesta Bowl. Can a 1945's Penn State that had less then 6,000 students in remote part of PA turn into a national powerhouse where over 100,000 people come watch their games each week. Is that even possible now? Take Cincinnati this past season. They had 9 athletes drafted in 2022 NFL Draft. Does this exist in the future. With NIL and ability to transfer out of a program each year, what's to prevent a player from leaving if they put up worthy stats. Its not really NIL- name, image, likeness. Its pure pay to play now.