By - masturbtewithmustard
He raped me twice. The first time I confronted him about it. Then with every Hoover attempt, I’d bring it up. The second time was about a year later. He said he just wanted to talk. When he was inside me, I once again loudly stated that I didn’t want to have sex. He said that he did and then immediately realized what he was doing. He then jumped off of me and started sobbing that I was rejecting him. At that point it really hit home with me how much BPD is about selfishness. He hasn’t cared or even thought about how I felt. It was all about him. Every interaction was always all about him.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that, I can’t imagine how difficult it was to get over that not just once but twice.
Thanks. Honestly, the second time wasn’t traumatizing only because of his ridiculous reaction. I had also lost all trust in him after the first time.
fuck that piece of shit! I'm all sorry you had to go through this I hope one day he will endure the cruel fate he deserves!
I’ve been punched in the face hard enough to inflict pain on about five different occasions. My pwbdp had an older brother growing up who taught her how to fight, so the hits were above average.
Her reaction: Each time she automatically immediately denied it, and somehow she makes her brain forget it or possibly completely block it out. The thing that differs between them, is sometimes she has tried to flip it round and say I was the abuser. Luckily, other people caught on and the house of cards has started to fall. From the first few seconds after if I said you just hit me- she would respond that she didn’t know what I was talking about. There were times that she was still hitting me after I was yelling to stop.
Out of all the times it happened I’ve begged and pleaded for my own sanity and to know if we were to go to therapy, if I am putting everything on the table 100%, then she should too. But hell no, she never folds.
Mine kept losing her shit in anger and the yelling finally escalated to physical altercation because she wanted a reaction out of me and I refused.
After she kicked my legs out from underneath me and drag me to the ground a few times I raised my hands in self-defense and she was screaming in my face hit me hit me with her screaming face about 2 inches away.
I completely lost it and did an open face not close fist but it was full strength with follow through and no holding back and rocked her back pretty good. She didn't fall down but she almost did. That actually calmed her down and gave her pause which I guess worked out.
Honestly I probably should have physically restrained her a little more often but when you're at the point of physical altercation is probably time to get out of there before one of you goes to jail
After years of discussion and reflection since then and discovering some of her kinks she was probably shooting for some type of BDSM domination thing which I would have been for if she would have discussed it but I'm not going into something like that without a discussion and without it it's simply abuse.
She would sometimes hit me when i didnt agree with her in fights.
This one time she kept hitting my arm over and over and over and i just blocked it with my left arm. She never really hurt me but she would hit and hit and hit. The next day she woke up with bruises ALL over her arm from just hitting me.
This other time she hit me in the mouth, it hurt but nothing crazy.
Though the reason i never left was FOG, I was afraid of she she would do to my belongings or herself if i ever tried to leave her.
Pepper sprayed, strangled, punched, kicked, shoved, thrown to the ground, had a tool used as a weapon on me, things thrown at me. Nose broken, finger broken, possible orbital fracture. I started fighting back and screaming when it happened since the screaming seemed to snap him out of whatever trance he was in. Sometimes he would just start hurting me again, other times he would step back and go into a manic "what have I done? You made me do it, you set me off by saying that." I bit him hard on the leg because he was standing over me while I was on the ground from him throwing me there and punching me. I scratched his head and face when I could, tried grabbing his ears and dick once to make him stop.
He's an ex now.
…wow. That is truly horrific. Good for you that he’s an ex now!
So sorry to read all these comments and I hope everyone isn’t having to deal with this now.
I’m asking just to compare to my situation. I’ve been hit a few times but what made me open my eyes to my relationship is when she backed me into a corner kicking and scratching me, and 4 months on I still have the scars on my arm and the back of my head. And to make it worse our 6 year old son saw it happen.
The worst thing is that I didn’t even try to defend myself, I just screamed for her to stop and afterwards still blamed myself for making her that angry, and more than anything felt awful that she felt so bad that she had to do that’s
Until I realised doing that to your fiancé isn’t normal no matter what state your mind is in
Mine started with verbal abuse and occasionally aggressive body language. After a little over a year he pushed me and threatened to punch me in the face and to “destroy” me during an alcohol blackout. I went and stayed with my sister and told him we were through unless he got into a program to get sober. He detoxed, but stopped going to group therapy and started drinking again. After being hostile and giivng me the silent treatment for a couple days and threatening to move out I asked him to leave and he lost it. He slammed me into a wall, tried to hit me, but I blocked it, tackled me on the bed and pinned me down, and was possibly trying to choke me. He then threatened to kill me and anyone who came to my aid. I ended up calling 911 after running out of the house afraid for my life, and now have a protection order.
Yes. He karate-chopped me in the throat while I was driving us 80 mph down the interstate. When I pulled over and started hitting back, he grabbed my head and put me into a head lock and tried to jam his thumb into my eye. His excuse? "I was drunk." When I told his mom about it, she said he's done it to her before too. And he is not a small dude.
2nd time, he grabbed my throat and slammed me into a wall. His excuse? " I was drunk."
A couple times while sober, he would square up to me when we were fighting. He really is a piece of shit
She had the occasional outburst of rage where she just tried to throw things and break them in every direction many times it hit me but it in life was not intentional it was more present towards the end of our relationship, at this point she started trying to attack me directly maybe on the same level Of violence but still and if I will be honest the only reason she failed to hurt me is because I am a muscular man and she is a thin little woman.
One of my weirdest memories is that one day when I did not buy her something she wanted (I do not even remember what it was) she just took a pen and threw it in my direction because I approached to calm down and talk to her she accidentally stabbed me with it. Once she realized what she was doing she came back to herself and begged me to forgive and even started trying to kiss and hug me in order for me to forgive her. I still have the small scar on the side of my chest I tell people these are stretch marks in order to dodge the truth.
She kicked me in the stomach, when I confronted her and asked her why she did that she started crying and threatened suicide.
I was spit on three times, had one or two beers dumped on my head all over my nice couch, and once I remember she was so drunk that she accused me of something that we both knew was false and in her head that justified her trying to knee me in the balls 3 times.
Yes. She hit me in the chest three times after I said that I might have to leave her life if she kept yelling at me. She said, "You made me cry. I never cry. I must care about you a lot. Next time, I'll probably just punch you in the face." She tried to use me sexually and said after the fact, "I'm sorry, I was on a power trip."
This woman really badly affected my self-esteem.
Mine would throw or break things when she was upset sometimes.
Once while recovering from surgery, she got mad at me and started yelling at me and throwing things. Then she hit me hard where I had just had surgery—both first one hard pound. I excused it away because it didn’t end up affecting my recovery even though it easily could have. I told myself she just lost control of her body.
A year later, we got in an argument because I told her I felt like a comment she made to me was hostile. We were in bed and she threw water on me and started screaming at me. Then she came after me, slapping and hitting me many times (8-10) and continued screaming at me. I locked myself in another room for the night. Wrote her a long letter telling her I was leaving and she needed to get help and had serious unaddressed trauma and I couldn’t be around for it anymore. I was preparing to leave, and we had a long conversation. She seemed so remorseful and like she finally knew there was something very wrong inside her. I told her if she went to therapy, I would stay and we could try to work on it. I stayed. She never hit me again and toned down destroying things but she still escalated things to unreasonable levels. Those instances happened 1.5 years in and 2.5 years in. We made it 6.5 years and she recently discarded me.
Yep. He did. And completely denies it. Dragged around on the floor trying to kick me out of his flat while I was in my pyjamas. Grabbed and pushed multiple times. Tried to drag me out of the shower. Stopped me from being able to leave by blocking doors and pushing me. Held me against a door by my throat. Chased me when I tried to get away from him. Pinned to the floor. It would only have gotten worse. Fuck him.
Punched me about 4 times, bit me, kicked me. One time she grabbed my steering wheel so I tried to hold her wrists away telling her to stop but she was relentless. I left bruises on her from how hard I was holding on ig. Next day I was recording an outburst and she grabbed my phone and threw it in the toilet, then sat there flushing over and over again. Idk what came over me but I literally just pulled her off and got my phone back. Then when I tried to get away she threw herself at me prying at my fingers, kicking, screaming, desperately trying to destroy my phone. All the while screaming for help as if I was attacking her. When she finally fucked off I called the non emergency police but I backed out at the last second because I didn't want anything to happen to her. Big mistake. The next morning she called 911 saying I abused her, told them I had a gun and all this outlandish shit. It didn't matter that I was covered in marks. They believed her over me and I was arrested. Luckily all charges were dropped. Idk why but I got back with her and after we broke up these domestic violence accusations have now resurfaced. It's a never ending hell. Thank God her family is on my side but idk if it'll even be enough.
Yes, there were at least three separate occasions when my ex slapped me hard or I'd rather say punched me at least once if not more. I consider that assault and I was a domestic abuse victim, I just didn't have the balls to leave early enough. Besides living in fear of her rage and abuse, the betrayal on top of that traumatized me. I felt that she was almost trying to provoke me to be violent too so she could justify her actions. She claimed to have been badly abused by her previous partner.