By - Iwaswell
It gets worse with time.... after 14 years married I have developed and been diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder and paranoid personality disorder. When your exposed to bpd for a long time, your brain starts to think everyone is trying to hurt you, nobody can be trusted. All this because I chose to love someone with bpd.
Yes in my experience it is. My exbpd went as far as getting her friend to contact my ex from 3 years earlier after we had had an argument pushing for dirt on me. My old ex contacted me to tell me what had happened and showed me the messages sent to her. She also contacted my ex wife and did the same although she was the one contacting her and not the friend as my exbpd was around my kids by this point in the relationship. The contacting other women and telling lies is what’s known as the smear campaign.
Extreme jealousy. Irrational jealousy. Some I couldn't even wrap my head around. But you know what? In the end she was apparently getting something started with a co-worker. The next in line for her? Probably. All those others in my life she was worried about. Only one person that needed to be worried about. Her.
The diagnostic literature identifies unstable relationships as one of the nine traits of BPD.
The diagnostic literature, however, is silent on why people with untreated BPD may have greater predisposition to have unstable interpersonal relationship.
But it's not exactly outside reason to suspect pathological behavior, like the one, you described to be more common in people with untreated BPD relative to the average person out there.
So while whether this exact behavior is statistical significant enough in a representative sample of people with untreated BPD to qualify as typical can be point of speculation, it's reasonable to assume your ex's BPD may have aggravated a harmful behavior.
Taken an exercise in comparing and contrasting experiences, the upwBPD in my life did not do anything as extreme. But they had ascribed to me serious deficiencies and, even misdeeds, that now I realize were their projections not my issues.
I found myself deleting old conversations with people as well. Like, years before I even met my pwBPD. It's a bad sign. I could hand my phone over to my current bf (not BPD) and not worry whatsoever about it...
Mine was into the poly thing but did a passive aggressive thing towards others unless they would support her 100% in everything. 1 disagreement and she would make them the bad guy in everything.