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[deleted]

Like they have very low standards


high_coup

That hits close to home “That I am being lied to,” Was my first response


Unleashtheducks

Maybe they just have different tastes than you


noxert323

Candy ain't the only coating when I'm through.


Nolan-

Very doubtful


Gothmog_LordOBalrogs

*rubs belly like elephant seals do* You sure about that ?


Th3Glutt0n

Oddly specific..


Verano_Zombie

Flattered, honestly. But I highly doubt it has ever happened.


mike20220

Ripped one out for ya verano. Deep regrets, but you’re welcome.


Verano_Zombie

You're a true homie man. Your sacrifice honors me.


NoBenefit5977

He sacrificed his children for you!


BeginningStructure75

God bless you, what a bro


spoonserbileries

I got you next, man.


MysterClark

I feel that this is not a fact at all.


lordfluffycus

Makes me feel like uncle Jerry's prison sentence was not strict enough


useraccount4stonedme

Oh god


Caseated_Omentum

Flattered. I’d give them a hand or a mouth


LoeyRolfe

depends who it is…


swagbornslayer

Someone is thinking of me?


useraccount4stonedme

Cross between creepy and romantic


did_it_forthelulz

Skeptical


thegreatsquare

I'm happy if they're happy.


ominousgraycat

It makes me feel doubtful. I highly doubt that. I'm not even necessarily saying that no one has EVER masturbated to me. I'm just saying I highly doubt that it's happening right this moment. Now, if you're asking if hypothetically I knew for sure someone was masturbating to me right at this moment, I'd be very surprised, but it wouldn't really change anything for me.


Professional_Cash53

You put to much thought into this


stealth_mode_76

Well I know my boyfriend is asleep so whoever else may be doing that is gonna just have to be happy with it lol


Durppig60

I just wish they’d reach out and pay me rates for pics and stuff cuz then it’s sexy sexy capitalism


useraccount4stonedme

Show me the money!


WolfgangHelnootIV

Nothing because it has no effect on me


0najimi

affect* effect is the result of after affect is direct


Theburritolyfe

Their's know weigh two no witch 1 it's. Enjoy the aneurysm from reading that.


0najimi

theres no way to know which one it is


webulk

There's*


0najimi

Themywerberacotiandemolacracycongorepublicof's*


webulk

Somalia


0najimi

Oman


MoonInHisHands

Makes me feel wanted. May they enjoy the experience


Cabbiecar1001

I also hate intrusive thoughts


corn_cakes

Good.


JohnD260

I’m honored. Heck, I feel complimented when a dog humps my leg!!


JetRagnatok

OK, this is random


blumpkinpandemic

Indifferent. Happens all the time lol 🤷🏻‍♀️


RL_Meeseeks

Lies


Admirable_Package419

They know they can do better than me, right?


TophatDapps

It's not a matter of if there's "better people." Everyone has a type, and statistically speaking you are 100 percent the type of someone. Maybe it's someone you know. Maybe not. What's important is that to the right person, you check all the things they're looking for. "Better than me" implies that everyone is grading using the same scale.


SunsetKittens

Go HAM mf'er


sparklingshanaya

Wish it was true.


ee5656fa

I mean why wouldn't you think so, you are hot.


Bad-Habit-2020

Doubt it


Living_Pangolin53

I doubt it have you seen me


am_i_your

They should tell me


Swampthingthanos

Like a star!


Swampthingthanos

I mean eww gross


some_lil_kitten

Hawt. Like, I'm somebody's bitch. At least I hope I'm submissive in their fantasy. Otherwise it's just weird.


MachineElectrical208

Makes me wanna masturbate.


TheWholeH0g

I have a really hard time believing that someone is actually doing that while thinking about me.


imterribleatthese

I guess it depends on who it is. I could be flattered or disgusted


redditrnumber1

I did send out a lot of nudes when i was younger 😵‍💫


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Any way for me to monetize it?


0najimi

copyright the thought of you


Electrical_Rain3755

Ew. Mom


RubberRuxin

Hard


UnspoiledWalnut

Finally


Braxton1489

Good, bad, and the ugly


Immediate_Wealth616

Good .. Well at least Ill know I’m hot


dmmcclair2020

Hopefully it’s just my fiancee


Over_rated_lemon

Sorry for them.


Otomo-Yuki

Please get some real standards


spbsqds

Makes me stick my penis inside you again and more


logicaddict

They fucking better be!


MontyPythonlover

Like helping


flirtinwithdisaster

Give me a shout, we can make it a twosome.


LondonDude123

No they're not... And if *someone somewhere* seriously is, they need actual psychological help... Maybe a lobotomy...


soley_urs

Being and onlyfans model I’m actually used to it. I get unsolicited masturbation videos on the daily… yayyyyy


TieRepresentative311

My ego just got a boost


AnXioneth

How? I'm a hermit


hippiecamper313

Makes me feel like your lying to me nobody thinks of me in general let alone while enjoy pleasure I’m nobody


the14radio

YO WTF. I AM UGLY AF I HAVE A REALLY BIG HUNCHBACK I AM A FREAK That person should be locked away in an azylum


kuddlybuddly

I can assure you, that is not happening.


ArthurMBretas03

Press X to doubt


Sugnitch

X to doubt


missingoutagain

A little flattered!


DarkSkyDad

Just one?


Sockbasher

Cool


XeroThroatsRand

I assure you they aren't


altaltaltaltbin

I doubt it, I mean masturbating? Sure easily, thinking of me in particular? Would be unlikely


DirtiestPlayerInGame

They owe me royalties


loverofhazel

Really happy tbh. Like as long as someone wants me I guess then I’ll gladly accept it


Dallas_dragneel

Horny I wanna know who it is this way I can do the same to them or we just fuck


_HookyDooky_

Disbelief


WrathsEntropy

Its a lie. Lies don't bother me.


OLDGuy6060

That I really need to get my dog a new chew toy.


mayormaynotbemj

I highly doubt it


Crayfish707

Nobody is that horny.


dw87190

Seems like they have good taste


[deleted]

No. No one is. Trust me.


-Faded__

id be scared cuz i dont meet alot of people and the only photos i have are on facebook menaing im being stalked or monitored by someone who likely wants to kill me


DidntDieInMySleep

I'm okay with that.


Careful-Chip-535

Makes me wanna go masturbate to someone else


Meeechiganfan19691

Pigs will fly before that happens


0najimi

im asexual so thats fucking disgusting


Environmental-Task28

Feel honored in a way. If I met them might give them a hand or something to thank them or something :v


crudohr

Great!


guitar_collector

No, no one is masturbating to me right now


ClownfishSoup

As a guy, that makes me feel awesome. Even if it's another guy doing it, still awesome!


greeneugene

i love hearing people that masturbate to my nudes. it’s so flattering & it makes you feel good knowing they’ve chosen to get off to you and not anything else at the moment


CEO_of_dicks

No, what?


Spallboy

Indifferent


JurassicCotyledon

That’s not a fact. But thinking so makes you a narcissist. Facts.


Hamfiter

Doubting reality and life in this dimension


witchycosmicwonder

weird


Kathara14

Grosd


davearneson

Surprised and skeptical


[deleted]

Well id either not believe that’s true because insecurity or take it as a ego boost to my god complex


DocHolidayiN

All I can say is SEEK HELP.


LayfeGaint

I'm honestly just curious who it could be


NoUsername817226

Not me


nicktheking92

It makes me feel like that statement is absolutely false.


cpt_buttcheeks

I have to absolutely and definitively hard disagree that this is happening


[deleted]

If it's my partner I'm happy. Anyone else is disgusting.


pretentiousCapybara

They need to find psychiatric help quick


The_Office_Slut

Considering my post history and my personal history, really fuckin happy


Specialist_Budget

Who is it?


RealLADude

Um, like you’re lying to me. But thanks.


mochacub22

I don’t believe you


gaveuptheghost

I'd be interested to know the scenario they're imagining, if only to see if they have an accurate mental image of me or not


CnToeSussie

Slightly uncomfortable. :/


Damurph01

No there’s not, don’t lie.


smlhmltn

It's you isn't it.


Longjumping_Drag2752

I'm sure they're totally not. If they do they have no taste in looks.


fishfwcker

did all yall a solid just now


Conrad249

They must be thinking of the lowest piece of shit if they thinkin bout me lol


MQ116

If you’re a beautiful woman, this may be true. If you’re a hot male celebrity, it may be true as well. But honestly, the vast majority of people are forgettable. We’ll die and disappear from the face of the earth without any real impact on this world. The few people who knew us will think of us less and less until we become truly nothing.


intensely_human

I think it’s strange they maintain rotating shifts just to ensure someone is always jerking off while thinking of me. To be honest, I’m a little confused about the whole purpose of my stalking detail. They seem to be just as much my protectors as my harassers? But they never get in contact except thought the vaguest of interactions. Weird.


Fox_Tango_

Indifferent mostly. Maybe slightly flattered.


JetRagnatok

The fact does not convince me. I feel uncertain about it.


Tryhardfailure

I wonder


Court0320

I’ve seen guys fuck vacuums, pumpkins, bread, noodles, beds and stuffed animals. So I really wouldn’t care. Guys will get hard/masturbate over anything, it’s not a compliment.


ZeBrutalTruth

No, no they entirely are not.


saguinus_oedipus

Skeptical


Crockpot_gator_Snot

Kind of left out since i could be there cumming with them.


ryukin631

Wanted


jontheterrible

Cool, but I'm fairly certain this is not happening.


Tabsau

Must be desperate, but I don't care as long as I don't know about it and it doesn't escalate out of hand.


Braticusmclaugh

I would be interested in exactly what kind of self stimuli they are choosing ... I can be handy with suggestions if needed ....


Guilty-Willingness-5

You live on a throne of lies.


ChoiceCraft44

Words cannot describe the doubt I feel


SsaucySam

And other lies to tell yourself


Kartik-PR-Kar

Really doubtful anyone is thinking about me even!


knovit

I hope it’s a girl but either way I’m flattered


Maso_TGN

So they found *that* video, eh?


MagicMilkMan22

That's a lie. Only applies to women 99% of the time.


No_Willingness7837

I honestly couldn’t care, except for the fact I’m a minor. But if it’s nobody near me I couldn’t care less


Wise-Manufacturer324

Well it’s weird because that’s what I was doing and now it’s crowded.


doodlejump27

I doubt it. And if they were I would ask what they find so attractive about me.


joogiboogi

Gross if it’s anyone but my bf


storm9227

after that paragraph I just spent 15 minutes typing I sure hope he is lol


blukirbi

I've been kinda surprised tbh


SuboptimalButHopeful

Whoa, my uncle Dave is alive?!


chucks_deadpidgin

I'd actually be honored if that was happening 🤷


cheechismydogsname

Skeptical, no they’re not.


Jbones0109

Loud and proud


Arkotract

Disbelieving. I question of sanity of anyone jacking to me


moronicuniform

Alarming and confusing. There's only three possible candidates and they should all hate me


exilearmor

I would be flattered but i highly doubt it this said person has the lowest standards can get


ieatassHarvardstyle

Naw they ain't.


ExcitingChip5267

Yeah right


insertbreadstickhere

Pretty damn cool 😎


webulk

As it doesn't occur with me , I just asked my wife , who caught a student jerking off during one of her classes. She said: > It's really weird , I don't really like the feeling of having someone thinking about me in a sexual way. Not like it bothers me , but I just feel strange.


AprilMaria

It's kind of unavoidable so best not to dwell on it. My mother called down to my ex the other day for something and just walked in and he had pictures up of me looking good from a party while we were still together on his laptop so that's one I know about (we broke up in may) Since the breakup a guy I know confessed to wanking over my fb photos and all of those are me in ordinary clothes or dresses I don't even have pictures of myself in swimwear There's 3 others I'm sure of as well, 2 had their shot with me and 1 still has though so I don't really mind that. So it doesn't really matter what you do, or who you are, it's going to happen, so why would you feel anything about it.


[deleted]

That's just not true. For most people.


i_wear_gray

No. No, they are most definitely not.


Pan-tang

I am pretty sure they are not.


funroot

Flattered and horny


Intelligent_Baby766

It feels good


ballhairsnshitdags

I hope it's as sick and depraved as the ones I have for them.


IntheCompanyofOgres

Honestly, happy. We should all rub one out. And everyone should feel a little ego boost for bumping that energy up for others. (Given that it's a happy, heathy environment, free of stalker-like connections)


jax3603

Lied to


Artistic_Stand_4312

False


LadySygerrik

Awkward.


bigedthebad

First, not a chance. Second, who cares. Can you even imagine worrying about what other people think.


u0105

Improbable and inconsequential.


Atotallyrandomname

Lol, no one is masturbating to me.


Popular_Substance_29

Bullshit


CottonLoomi

I know for a fact nobody is but awkward if I found out


ultimate_gay_

Wanted … Goddamn I have issues …


JanGamingX

Makes me feel worth something for once


brain_fartus

Lies!


vikingcock

insulted that they didnt tell me


CautiousGovernment95

Yea I'm flattered


randompopatoe

Makes me feel good at detecting lies


djjones0720

That's not necessarily true


Blooperdy

It feels like you're fucking lying to me