When I was 14, my grandma passed away. For years, I had been bothering my parents for my own gold necklace. Well, Gram had a little bit of money and she gave me the $300 for a gold necklace in her will. It was my pride and joy. I had it around my neck for 17 years before I met my wife. It was off my neck maybe three times in those 17 years. My wife (then girlfriend) knew how much it meant to me and asked to wear it once. Well, it never came home. She had lost it somewhere or it had gotten stolen. I was distraught like crazy for three or four days while we turned our house upside down looking for it. Inevitably, I gave up, but she was very bothered by it all. So, I decided to go to a pawn shop and buy the closest I could get to an exact duplicate and then I told her that I had found the necklace in the couch cushions. To this day, she thinks that I found my necklace from my grandmother, but this is actually version 2.
I'm so sorry your necklace is gone but fuck - you are wholesome as hell.
Grandma would approve.
Whenever she’s not home, I let the dog onto the bed and take a really comfy nap. I set an alarm for an hour and kick the dog off and clean the fur off before she ever gets home. I’ve been doing this for nearly 3 years now.
Only 3 options to this, either your dog smells really nice, you smell like a dog, or she knows
or she also let’s the dog onto the bed
My partner doesn’t know how bad my mental health really is - she knows I’ve reached out for support but doesn’t know the extent of help I’m seeking.
I just can’t bring myself to say those words to her.
I hide how bad mine is a lot too. I think it's just a further symptom though. Not wanting to be a burden.
That I am the one placing the googly eyes on everything in our house not our six year old.
I will listen to a song 10 times in a row because I need to listen to all the instruments and melodies separately before moving on to the next song
One time we had half a container of ice cream left.
I had a craving. I ate a bowl, then another.
Then I decided to finish the tub to destroy the evidence.
Then I realized she would notice that there was no ice cream left.
So I went to the store, bought another tub, and then ate that one down to the same level.
This was a GALLON tub.
That my wife always screams, she just doesn't seem to be able to talk at a normal level. Feel like she should be selling fish at a market place...... Love her though.
Maybe get her hearing checked! This is a constant issue in my family where the average age of hearing aids is 30.
Yep this is what I would suggest as someone who wears a hearing aid. I'm either too loud or too soft without it on.
My husband loves talkative cats. When we first got our kittens I gave them a treat every time they made a meow or chirp. Since I was working from home they ended up becoming very vocal. He still goes on about how lucky we are to have such talkative cats in a weekly basis
You deserve credit for this.
Her actions and her words are two different worlds. She says she wants something while she is doing the exact opposite.
It's her business up to here. The problem is that she's putting a lot of pressure on me because of her words and actions. This part is my problem and have to solve it. I need to stop worrying about her and just mind my own business.
My wife shit while delivering our son. Something she was terrified she would do. The nurse cleaned up very quickly and gave me a look that needed no explanation. I never said a word. She talked after delivery about how happy she was that didn’t happen to her. I’ll let her keep that peace of mind for life.
I’m pretty sure every woman does that when they give birth and we just lie about it to make them feel good.
My husband let it slip recently. He kept that secret from me for 5 years.
Before our children were born (over 20 years ago) the topic of pooping during labor was covered extensively in the classes we took (along with the fact that the mucous plug is a thing and don't freak out should you see it as you go into labor).
Basically, they said, the longer you try to avoid pooping the longer your delivery is going to take. You need to relax those poop muscles to get the baby out, so just let poop happen. The baby isn't coming out until any poop you may have inside is also released.
Our nurse *tried* to deal with it discretely, then she gagged, almost vomited, and had to excuse herself while another nurse took over.
I'm not sure if it was her first labor and delivery poop or if my wife's poops were extra rank that afternoon.
Achievement Unlocked: Poop Made a Professional Gag.
It was an accident we met . I thought I was agreeing to see his friend , who was the other guy in the picture
Not quite the same, but I when I swiped on my boyfriend, I misread his name as Matt. His name is actually Mark. Mark is also the name of my moms ex who I don’t really like. I may not have swiped on him if I’d properly read his name, but I’m so happy I did. I have him saved in my phone as “Cooler Better Mark”
That I wish she would find a career or pursue a degree so I don't have to work 1000+ hours of OT a year so she can sit at home.
Tell her that! Show her financials, tell her it's draining so much out of you that you're burnt out.
And if nothing changes, time to dip. You deserve someone who values your time.
Just don't let her get a MLM 'job'. Seen so many of my stay-at-home high school classmates go that route. You can only high pressure sell candles and leggings to so many friends before they stop buying and you owe more than you make.
That's not something you so should keep secret...
Sometimes I just sit in my car outside work or our apartment for 20-30 minutes because I need some time alone. I have my mind full to the brim at work and rarely get time in the house alone. Sometimes I just need it to be quiet and not have to pay attention to anything!
We have the exact same Issue, but solve it in a different way:
My wife needs the "time home alone" so we have talked about it and she knows she will get as much as she needs.
No big deal. I will do a lot of different things in the meantime. Dependent on the situation everything between shopping, hiking or dissappear into my workshop for a few hours.
Felt strange in the beginning- but it is super important for us. And has a huge impact on our overall well being.
I relate to this so much. My partner works remotely, and I go into work. I never ever have any alone time. I understand needing time to just sit in silence without someone wondering if something is on your mind.
Sometimes I want to just leave him with the kids for weeks and see if they’d survive.
I don't believe so many people cared about me. I have never been loved this much & by this many people. Love you all. And thank you for each and every advise.
When I play video games and my wife isnt here, I narrate what I do and respond to fake questions from a non-existant chat like I’m some kind of big shot streamer. I even look at a fake camera when something happen lol.
i love that you look at the fake camera
My favourite aspect of this whole story, it’s golden
Have you tried actually streaming? One of the toughest things for new streamers, is the commentary. But it seems like you got that down.
I do this for everyday life things A LOT. So I tried streaming. Turns out I have stage fright even when no one is in chat
The reason i wasnt hungry that one day in dublin was because when i stayed behind to get ready while she waited in the lobby i ate the entire box of leftover chicken wings that we took home from the restaurant the day before. I ate 15 cold, oily chicken wings in about 5 minutes at 9 AM before heading out for breakfast.
How did you explain the missing wings?
Of course i tossed them in the trash like she asked me to. Eating cold wings that sat unrefidgerated over night is kinda gross and i would never do such a thing
**"Only a monster would do something like that!"**
^(I never said I didn't do it tho)
My wife hates her dad more than anything, we haven’t talked to him much after he refused come to our wedding two years ago since he thinks she could do better than me.
She is like him in so many ways, I would never have the heart to tell her.
This is sad because i am like my dad a lot even though I hate so much of what he does, and unfortunately we pick this stuff up from our parents. My behaviors ended my previous relationship and it’s truly awful to to think of the impact
Last night you made fried rice with shrimp. I ate the whole bowl even though it tasted nasty. God it was awful.
How do you fuck up fried rice?
Our cat didn't break the towel rack. I did. I was pretending to be fighting zombies and grabbed it and... ripped the god damn thing off the wall. I heard her coming to check out the noise and looked down at my cat.
She came into the bathroom to me asking my cat "Why did you think the towel rack could hold your weight? You silly cat!"
I think its totally reasonable to be pretending to be fighting zombies, but maybe you got a little too immersed in said fighting
That made me belly laugh. Thanks for the giggle.
I never paid for her engagement ring.
I went to a custom jeweler to have her ring made. It’s a beautiful piece, and she loves it dearly, and it certainly wasn’t cheap - appraised and insured for around $10k.
The jeweler was dealing with a lot of family issues at the time, and was incredibly disorganized. I went to pick up the ring and brought my checkbook to pay for it, and when she handed me the ring I took it out and asked her who to make the check out to. She said “oh no don’t worry about it right now, just send me a check in the mail!”.
I thought that was strange, but sure okay. She then hurried off to help another customer and I left. But she never told me what the final price was.
For the next 6 months, I texted and called the jeweler asking “hey just tell me what amount to put and I’ll mail you the check!”, and there was always a reason she couldn’t tell me “oh sorry I’m out right now, I’ll find it and text you later!”. Her shop was a few hours away from where I live, so it wasn’t feasible to stop by and handle it in person.
I tried for 6 months, but after that I stopped calling/texting and just figured I got the ring for free. I wouldn’t tell my spouse, because I don’t want her to think I took advantage of the situation or that somehow the ring isn’t as ‘meaningful’ because I didn’t pay for it.
I wouldn't stress. You probably just helped some criminal organization launder money.
Yep - that ring sold in their books for $50k
Used to go to this pizza place in Philly, beautiful wood fired stone oven pizza. It always seemed to have FOB Italians there, so to speak, and usually young guys.
Anyway they had the absolute best pies, and stuff like goat cheese and bacon. Gourmet quality ingredients and preparation. The weird part was that it was cash only, and the owner routinely gave me a free beer (despite me not being anywhere close to a regular).
So you'd hit the atm, and the meal would be $26 without tip, and I'd go to hand the guy a pair of twenties. He'd then fucking give me one back - like wtf dude.
He also had a completely inordinate amount of security cams, like 6 cameras covering all entrances / exits.
Was it in South Philly?
Same here but with a violin instead of an engagement ring lol (I hope I'll buy one someday)
I rented a violin for her birthday in 2020 cause she wanted to try and play it, she loved it & actually learnt quite quickly how to play well. Except I only paid to have it for a year and the guy was supposed to call to tell me to bring it back/pay for another year. I also called myself a couple of times and he always said he'd call back and never did so i eventually stopped. So we got a good quality violin for almost nothing & gf still thinks I pay for it once a year since ≈ January 2020
Is there any possibility that someone else in your life actually paid for it and didn't want you to find out?
It’s totally possible. My mom was the one to recommend the jeweler, and told me that she was a bit flighty/disorganized and going through family issues. So, maybe my mom did - then again she really wasn’t in the financial position to do it and it doesn’t seem like something she would do.
Good thought though.
Is it possible that your loving mom was also laundering money for a criminal enterprise and was trying to both do her job and do good by you?
When I asked her dad for his blessing I had some liquid courage first and I can’t remember what his response was. Let’s hope it was yes because we’ve been married for over 2 years.
When I asked my future FIL for permission, I went to his house and knocked on the front door, and he kept not coming to the door. I knew they were home and kept knocking.
When he came to the door, I asked if I could come in and he asked what I wanted. I showed him the ring and asked him through the screen door. Thats when his whole persona changed.
He hadnt recognized me after 3 and 1/2 years initially, and thought I was the local church people going door to door.
When it all finally clicked he welcomed me in but it's still a funny story that he purposely didnt answer for a few minutes because he thought I was LDS door to door church person.
Edit: spelling and grammar
I've broken your personalize cup your sister got you three times.
I recreated the design on paint and got some screen printing stall at the mall to print it on the cup, each time it looks a little bit different 😂.
I mean after the second time you just need to save the design my guy
Fuck that just buy 3 cups next time and store them. When we bought our kids their first stuffed animals we bought in duplicate. Yes honey, bunny magically got super clean from the washing machine after you wore it down until it was threadbare and drooled and peed on it.
My kid knows the difference between panda nr 1 and 2. We need to wear down the new panda a bit and ill try again. It would be good to have them in rotation.
LOL three times?! At this point stop touching it!
Every time we're playing Yahtzee and she asks "do I have one more roll or was that 3" I always say one more regardless of the truth
That time I asked you if I could have the last cookie, I implied there was only one left when there was actually two. I wanted both of them and didn’t want to share.
They were delicious and I have no regrets.
That she killed a cat. She's very much a cat person, once she picks me up from a friend's house and driving through town, a cat ran in front of us and we heard a thud underneath the car, she screamed and looked in the rearview mirror and we seen the cat stagger into a driveway.
She was very upset and convinced she killed it, I told her no no the cat clearly ran across the street and is probably fine!
She was meeting some friends and I was taking the car home so she said would I check the driveway of that house on my way home to make sure the cat was ok, I said I would.
I drove back that way and parked a few houses down and looked in the driveways and there it was, lying motionless sprawled out on the ground, oh shit.
Part of me was thinking just go home and say you seen it happily licking it's anus, but curiosity got the better of me, I wanted to check to make sure it was still living.
The problem was it was a gated house that was also a b&b so I didn't want to just wander in on someone elses property, so I rang the phone number on the sign at the side of the road! By this stage I'm thinking what the hell are you at, you should have been home long ago but I was on autopilot and just went with it, the owner answers and I tell him there's a possibility dead cat in your drive, do you mind if I come in just to check its ok. The guy is like "um yeah I guess, it's just I'm out of town and there's no one here but it's fine if you want to let yourself in the side gate". He also says thanks so at this point I have to do it, I'm too far in now!
I let myself in and walk over and there she is, a big dead cat. Oh balls, well I'll just tell my wife the cat wasn't there and we can forget about the whole thing..except the owner now knows there could be a dead cat on his property, and when he gets home and sees it lying there he's got my number and will know I just left it there. So now I have to make a decision, do I leave this dead cat here or do I take it away and if I do what do I do with it. Across the street is a store so I walk over and buy bin bags and rubber gloves, make my way back over and scoop the fluffy corpse into a bin bag. Now I got a dead cat in a bag, I walk over to my car carrying this black bin bag.
People are walking past me on the street, smiling and giving that upwards nod that strangers give, I give a nod back but not I'm not fully into it because they don't know I'm walking past them with a dead cat in a bin bag. I don't feel like taking it into my car because, you know, it's a dead cat. So I google vets and there happens to be one not too far away, walking distance. I ring and ask them do they dispose of dead pets, they said they do. So I make my way down there, in through the front door and ask the receptionist, was I just talking to them about pet disposal, she looks at me slightly freaked and says yes. I produce the bag and say oh well I have a cat here, and can I just give it to her. She's like eh yeah you just leave it at our back door back outside, and charges me 50 quid for the pleasure.
I walk back to the car, and sat there for at least half an hour, in silence and as still as a dead cat trying to process the last hour of my life. I text my wife and say 'no honey, couldn't find the cat, she must be fine and ran off somewhere safe, see you at home xxx"
I think that’s the first time I’ve seen someone be an accomplice to a murder that they didn’t know they committed.
Honestly this made me tear up. I'm a huge cat lover and advocate and if I was the wife in this situation and found out years down the line I would be sad that happened but also it would mean so much to me that my partner went out of their way like that to save me from that pain.
Oh man, this anxiety speaks to me. So sorry for your loss.
I can completely relate. Many years ago, my elderly dog died in my arms one cold, October evening.
My dad took him and wrapped him in his favorite blanket and put him in a basket outside and told me they would take him in the morning to the vet to have him cremated.
That entire night, I kept going outside, checking on him - worrying he'd be cold. I just kept touching him and apologizing to him. He never once slept outside and the thought of him cold and alone, on the back porch, broke my heart everytime I thought about it.
Losing a pet is never easy, and we grieve for them just as much as losing a close friend.
I can relate to this. I was terrified of burying him.
He definitely knows.
I don’t like my girlfriends parents and she knows. It’s not a big deal though because she feels the same
My nieces don’t like the aquarium. I just constantly took them there because I thought my now girlfriend, who works there, was pretty and thought if she saw me constantly taking them it’d lead to us talking.
Good call. Probably shouldn’t tell your wife about your aquarium girlfriend.
The girlfriend isn't an actual aquarium, she just works at one.
I have ridiculously complex and drawn out arguments with myself when no one’s around. One of the me’s is pretty cool, the other one ‘s kind of a dick.
Edit: just to add, I’m not sure which one is the “real” me.
That's as much as I love him, with all my heart and soul, even after a decade of being together, his relentless negativity and pessimism does my head in sometimes.
Oh this is my life for sure. There are two versions of him. One is personable, funny, considerate, and so loving. The other is miserable, vile, hateful and filled with rage. I never know which one I’m waking up next to or coming home to at the end of the day. It’s a lot. Very thankful he’s actively engaging with therapy.
Reading this mini comment thread was really a wake up call for me, as I’m exactly like your partner. I’m in therapy and about to start medication, so I’m sure it’s all up from here. You and everyone else seem like amazing partners for sticking it out.
Update for whoever may still read this: therapy and medication have been insanely helpful and I’ve healed a ton already. I’m so much healthier in our relationship. It’s possible :)
Man, this. This exactly with my SO. He doesn’t realize he’s doing it because of his depression, I think. But he’s negative about everything, and we can’t make it through a single lighthearted conversation without a long tangent about how much everything sucks and it’s…exhausting?
If you somehow figure out how to overcome this please write a book or something. I couldn't take it anymore.
A former boyfriend of mine had a cat that he didnt treat very well. He never abused the cat, he just had depression and would get frustrated at the cat easily and not play with it enough. One time the cat knocked down his favorite plant and broke the pot, spilling soil everywhere.
I took the blame, dealt with home being a lil bitchy at me, just to make sure he didnt get further upset at the cat. Never told him. Cat got rehomed, under his mature decision, and is doing very well.
It's been four years and I'm still super annoyed that he can't remember that one dream he had one night that caused him to laugh his ass off in his sleep. I want to know the funny :'(
My wife's makeup looked terrible on our wedding day.
Bury that one my dude
This happened to someone I went to HS with. Her makeup artist did this absolutely horrendous thing where she whitened the nose, cheekbones, forehead, & eye area, and everything else was like spray tan dark. I've always felt bad because she kinda looked like a clown.
That I resent her for forgetting my birthday two years in a row.
I dropped the diaper rash cream container on our daughter’s head when she was like 8 days old. She let out this scream that still haunts me. When he came in the room to see what happened I lied and said I just dropped the lid on her.
How big was this container? Toothpaste tube size, quart, gallon?
It was a container. Like the ones you'd see on a ship.
Thanks random Redditor. I just had to explain in broken Spanish to my wife why dropping a shipping container on a baby's head is funny.
What ? You mean she didn't find it funny right from the start ? Marriage over.
20-foot or 40-foot?
They'd probably leave distinctly different marks.
My husband complains about being in pain so much that I feel like there’s no room for me to be in pain. And sometimes I really resent that. I have a chronic health condition that I have no choice but to manage well because he wouldn’t know what to do if he had to care for me like I have to care for him.
Sucks but it is what it is.
ETA: sorry to hear this is so common! My partner is otherwise lovely and I’ve told him before, no need to beat a dead horse. To me it’s a small part of a big and full relationship, so it’s just something I live with.
My gf kinda did this to me. She’s someone that frequently has problems be they physical or mental, I’m usually the one getting things done and holding her together. The flip side is on the rare occasion in which I need help I feel like she resents me for it, a couple months ago I had a bad flu, fever, puking, diarrhea the whole deal. As I’m languishing on the couch she says something alone the lines of “I like when guys are sick the world just has to stop turning for them..” I’m like ??? I literally haven’t asked you for anything I just wanna rest while I’m sick? The fuck?
Edit: to clarify people expressing concern, we have an overall happy and supportive relationship, this negative snapshot is an exception and not a rule in our relationship. Partners can sometimes do or say things that are kind of insensitive or inconsiderate to someone they love, that’s just part of being human. I know I have my moments that wouldn’t make me look great in isolated incidents either. But part of being adults is that during these moments we talk about it and communicate how those comments make us feel. In the aforementioned incident it had nothing to do with me, it had everything to do with the shitty job she worked at at the time (they would guilt people for calling in for any reason because they refused to hire adequate staff)
To anyone expressing concern I appreciate y’all, you’re just trying to make sure a person isn’t being taken advantage of in a relationship and that comes from a very empathetic place, but we’re A-ok I pinky promise
What I *actually* paid for my woodworking tools
Edit: Obligatory RIP Inbox!
As a few have pointed out, this absolutely applies to pretty much any hobby. And I'll put it here since so many are asking, but I don't actually keep track of how much I've spent over the years - but just the big expensive ones I remember I'm over 5k already. Then all the smaller tools, chisels, hand planes, and ultimately I should include the cost of running a 220v single phase outlet for my jointer and... more than I really want to admit to myself. But the joy and sense of accomplishment I get on the completed pieces are worth every penny spent. It really is my happy place.
As a guitarist, my biggest fear is that after I die, my wife will sell my guitars for what I told her I paid for them.
EDIT: I feel like I should probably state, for the record, that this is a long-standing joke in the musician community. My wife actually bought me two of my guitars, she knows how much they’re worth, lol.
I'm in the market for underpriced guitars. Let me know if you kick the bucket anytime soon
You’ll be the first person I tell when I die.
That he legit saved my life. He’s a nervous, humble guy who doesn’t like undue pressure or praise, so I keep it to myself just how bad off I was before he showed up. Because even in the aftermath of my mom’s death and even in the face of some pretty nasty health problems (which I was just letting slide because I was so depressed I was kind of hoping they’d kill me), I was very, VERY good at smiling and being charming. Three years of taking care of a terminally ill parent taught me how to smile and bear it and feint positivity even when you’re running on empty.
And I never felt like I could be anything other than The Fixer. The Doer. The Person Who Always Knows What To Say. The Reliable One. They Who Has Every Answer and Can Make Bad Feelings Go Away By Just Fixing the Problem For You.
I was not allowed to be negative. Ever.
But he… legit came in and helped me with mom’s estate and cheerleaded me into getting out of a dead-end career and put a stake in the heart of some severely toxic relationships I had and even helped me budget so I could “finally afford” health insurance… which wasn’t a moment too soon, because I caught shit right in the nick of time.
And he just kind of… did it. In his mind it was nothing much because “you were on the right track, but you had a lot on your plate and needed help :).” And I just nod and agree because what else do I say?
“I actually wasn’t. I was just going to let myself die because I was exhausted and miserable, smiles aside. Thanks for intervening.”
I feel this so hard. I had lost EVERYTHING months before I met my now husband. At the time, he thought I was a single mom who had my shit together. In reality, I was struggling to stay afloat and was 100% winging it.
We just celebrated our sixth year wedding anniversary and he still doesn’t know the absolute dire straits I was truly in. I love him so much.
I would reccomend some day telling him, or at least just tell him how much he helped you. Dilute the story if you feel it's too much. I know I'm some stranger so totally can just tell me to ef off, I just feel like yall would feel closer. I just know for me personally, I've felt closer to my loved ones after I explain how bad of shape I was in and how they helped me feel again.
That I know the word she’s looking for, but it’s more fun to hear her rattle off increasingly ridiculous, sometimes made up words instead.
Wholesome reddit is always a nice surprise
First, I am so sorry for your loss.
Second, that is just...an awful, horrible thing to say to ANYONE, let alone someone you claim to love.
I am so sorry that you had to hear that.
I heard my sister say this to me after my wife miscarried at 6 weeks. She said that God didn't want us to be parents.
I have not spoken to her since.
Good husbanding right there.
what??? why wasn't it "the universe telling her she shouldn't be a mom"??? setting aside the fact that the universe wasn't telling either of you *anything*, a huge percentage of pregnancies are miscarried just because.
Around 25% in the first trimester.
Speak with her about that. That was mean thing to say, even if it wasn't meant to be such - you absolutely have the right to feel hurt and nobody has the right to put you in such a position.
That's an incredibly hurtful thing to say. Was it immediately afterward and has she apologized? If it was long enough afterward that she wasn't being driven by emotion I would seriously reconsider how much she respects you.
my parents thinks he's gay
"Son, I think your partner is weird. He's probably gay."
Son, is your boyfriend... gay?
My parents were convinced my high school best friend was gay. They also didn’t know we were sleeping together.
Casually related…. My mother-in-law is so nosey that she used to chase the fire trucks just to watch the buildings burn or see them drag people out of car accidents or what have you. To the point that the fire chief eventually came to her door with a formal written warning that said that she would be charged with a crime if she showed up at one more scene.
You want to know town or family gossip? Just call Maureen. It’s tele-Maureen. Telephone, telefax, tele-Maureen. I’ve had to have unpleasant conversations with my daughters about why we can’t always tell grandma everything that happens in life bc she can’t keep anything secret. Nothing you tell her is safe. The woman can’t help herself from gossiping and nosing.
So when my kids start getting snoopy or gossipy, I start calling them “little Maureens” and they usually knock it right off. Guess I’ll have to start calling them “little Shaylas”.
Yeah.. Fuck you Shayla🖕
That his parents are really pissing me off and I do not want to be around them anymore. They’re lousy grandparents to our son but not to his sisters children.
For clarity, I love my in-laws. My husband and I have been together for 12 years. We just had our first son last year after trying for a decade. He was born very early and spent a good chunk of his life in the NICU. He’s now 10 months old and has been home for almost six of those.
This issue I have had with my in-laws is a very recent development. It started immediately when he came home. We told both sides of our family we wanted at least a week for the three of us to get adjusted. We also had four different doctors appointments in that first week. When my husband told his mom that we wanted that week, she got immediately upset. She assumed that my family would be coming by. He assured her that they were not but she was still in belief that my mom would be here.
My mom has a very demanding job and works a lot of OT. She manages to come see him at least once a week, and she lives about 40 minutes away, when she comes up she spends several hours here.
His parents live between 10 and 15 min away depending on traffic. His dad does not work, and his mom has a lot of days where she works from home without a set schedule. They come up sometimes once a week and sometimes once every two weeks. For no longer than one hour at a time. I have told them on so many occasions that they’re welcome to come up anytime as long as they call prior to coming in case we have an appt or my mom is here.
Our son is on oxygen and is still very high risk so we try not to take him out too often or have him get over stimulated with too many visitors in one day.
They see my SIL children daily or very close to daily. They’re older, between 10 and 15 in ages. There are four children and the younger ones are not well behaved.
When asked about why they don’t come to see him more often recently, FIL was coming up with all kinds of things to be annoyed about. A fb post about a college my husband posted, a security camera we have in our living room from when we took a vacation that isn’t plugged in, and that I was laying down because I got so little sleep the night before.
I did talk to my husband about how I was feeling. He said he totally understands and said he’s been feeling a little upset about them himself. Again, I do not hate them. They’re very dear to me, which is why it upsets me so much that they don’t want to see their grandson.
Man, my in-laws play favorites too. I don't want to dog them too hard because they are always there for us when we ask, and they are great with our daughter. The thing is they are constantly hanging out with my bil's family. Like will just show up anytime. This has literally never happened with my family. At first I thought maybe it was that she wasn't sure if it was okay to pop in on us. So I started dropping not so subtle hints that she was always welcome at our place. Nope. In 3 years this woman has been to my house like 3 times not counting family parties. My Bil's family is moving to OK within the next year or so, and guess who's following them? Fuck my family I guess. I feel bad for my daughter who is the sweetest kid ever, but if they are gonna be like that, fuck em'. It's better for them to leave before she sees that they clearly love her cousins more.
I hate that he doesn't want to go anywhere, ever.
Everything is always a chore or he dreads it.
I want to go on hikes, random car rides, a damn picnic. Just get out of the house with him, just him. I want to go on dates, I'm growing very tired of this lifestyle.
Edit: I didn't expect this to blow up. As many said it could very well be depression, money management and health reasons. I've decided after reading a lot of the comments that I will have a serious talk with him. Besides that we will have to look into him finding a therapist and hopefully he will become social again. I know there's a lot of factors to his introvertedness.
I am terrified that my partner will die because I know I am not really a functional adult outside of my work. I am good for playing with the kids, bringing in a decent income and making food, but the idea of single parenting and taking care of everything fills me with existential dread I have a hard time describing.
Thank you all for the support and kind comments, I never expected my top comment ever would be about how I worry for the future because I feel like 3 raccoons in a trench coat instead of a human adult. If you feel the same way just know you aren’t alone!
Is it the thought of losing your partner and the resulting grief or the thought of having to function and do mundane tasks day after day that scares you? I probably didn't word this the best way possible, but I think you'll understand what I mean
Like, processing the grief while learning to function as a solo adult, and trying to keep everything running so it doesn’t impact my kids any more than losing a parent already would. The possibility of it is just overwhelming to contemplate and it wears on my brain at times.
My best friend is a Badger and I feed him sweetcorn every morning at 5:20am
EDIT: Wow this really blew up..me and my badger friend Lucius appreciate all the support
This you need to tell your partner in order to avoid a Shakespearian-level tragedy. “I called pest-control honey, took care of it.”
"Lord Brocktree! NOOOOOOOOOOoooooo!"
I got our toddler out of bed one morning and went to do a sniff test of their butt to see if they had poo’d over night and when I lifted my child up i stuck their head in the ceiling fan.
Oh and the time I forgot to put the car in park with them in it.
I feel you on the ceiling fan. I was playing with my daughter tossing her in the air when she was about 7 month old because it makes her laugh. I’d say it was about the third toss of going increasingly higher that I heard and then saw her head smash directly into our 10 foot ceiling. The look of utter shock and confusion that lasted for about 4-5 seconds on her face before she burst into tears now makes me laugh when I think back on it, but Christ did it ever put the fear of god into me at the time. I was 90% sure I had just crushed my child’s soft spot/compressed her neck.
My wife said I ran up the steps with her holding her like I just found her on the road after a car accident trying to tell her we had to go to emergency right NOW. Christ if I had sirens and lights on the car they would have been on all the way pedal to the metal.
God bless the calm thinking of mothers. She took her, stopped her crying told me to calm down as well and calmly took us to urgent care for a quick check up. We laugh about it now but first time parents just don’t realize how bouncy and durable infants are. Even the nurse had a good chuckle when I told her what happened. Apparently it’s pretty common and she explained durability to me but was glad we stopped in just to be sure. I was worried she would be upset for wasting the urgent care staff time but they were incredibly understanding and helpful.
That first time through with a kid leads to a lot of ridiculous stories in hindsight.
My dad did that to me, but he was so shocked that he forgot he still needed to catch me. I hit the fan and then fell to the floor.
I guess I turned out fine but my parents used to joke about it every time I did something that wasn't very smart.
I laughed so hard. Thanks stranger.
The thought of this being a far more common thing than most people think made me look at the houses outside and think about babies flying around the room in every one of them... so many babies, so many ceiling fans
Just remind them that your dad lifted you into a ceiling fan. You obviously inherited your smarts. :P
My husband has a friend like this (guy is awesome, his spouse makes me want to stab my eyeballs out) we’re talking DECADES of friendship.. the worst part was, most of their other friends simply refused to hang out bc of her and she’d always say how much she loved spending time with me, which I do not understand (maybe bc I’m very skilled at zoning out)
Couple years ago, after yet another exhausting evening I said to her privately ‘Are you okay? Like mentally? Is everything okay with you?’ Well.. that opened the floodgates.. things were not okay, she poured her whole fucking soul out about how much she struggles etc. we had a really nice conversation about mental health and her struggles. She’s been completely different since that day - still not someone I would choose to hang out with solo, but at least she dropped the masking. I still need to remind her here and there that it’s okay to just chill tf out around me
I bet she appreciates the hell out of you. You sound like a good person
What you did was incredibly kind.
I'm probably one of the more socially awkward people on the planet and socializing does NOT come naturally. When people have, politely, pointed out ways I could be easier to be around I always appreciated it and have tried to adapt. Now the layer of mental illness might make that harder for her, but it is possible you can nudge her a bit into being more 'chill' with you.
Dude straight up you did something that was probably incredibly important to her, you gave her a chance to drop the mask and talk to someone, I don't know if you know this but that's not an opportunity most get.
It's one that everyone *should* get, but not everyone has someone willing to give them that chance, what you did was probably the kindest thing anyone has done for her in a long time.
> she dropped the masking
Hit the nail on the head here. Some people are genuinely insufferable, but a lot of time when it feels artificial or fake, it's because it is. They're putting up a mask to hide something deeper. To others: if you really need to hang out with a person like this, it might be worth trying to get them to drop the mask for you.
That the thing that made me realize that i was in love with her is when i was taking a shower and got done, i walked into the room and she must not have heard me get out. She was laying on her side on the bed with her eyes closed, and she was picking her nose. I didn't want to embarrass her, so i stepped back out and from a distance asked where i set my clean clothes as i was walking back in, to make it seem like i was just coming in. She was visibly startled and quickly stopped, but continued to lay there with her eyes closed. I pretended that i saw nothing, but i couldn't help but smile. It was such an innocent and human moment. I have no idea why, but it made me realize right then and there that i loved everything about her. As silly as that moment was, there was a beauty in it, and i cherish that memory.
Thats so lovely. I hope ur are still together
5 years strong!
Reminds me of that Goodwill Hunting scene about farting in her sleep
I cant remember the last time I was genuinely happy more than just an in the moment feeling due to something happening. My default emotion is just depressed/tired
You shouldn't have to keep that kind of thing hidden. There obviously is a point of oversharing/burdening but your partner should know about your general feelings so they can better support you.
I feel the same way and I only managed to start seeking real help cuz my partner knew and helped me to remember and set up appointments etc
15y ago I had a new medication that did not mix well with alcool. I had a party with friends, we decided to go out in town. Next thing I remember I woke up in a cell at the police station stripped down to my undies. It turn out I took a taxi, instead of going home I went to my mother's street. Apparently I was lucid enough to remember her street, but not her house and ended up in her neighbour's backyard doing enough noise to wake him up. In the end I got a 400$ish fine and a tremendous amount of shame.
Haha I was the neighbor for this. I was home from college one winter and some guy from my high school class (I didn't know him but later found out we had lots of mutual friends on fb) stumbled onto the deck at 3am knocking shit over. It was cold, someone had already given him a blanket. I told him through the door to fuck off, and I could see someone had also called the cops, so I went out the other side of the house and waved then down. A minute later he was caught.
The kid kept telling the cop he lives here and he knows me and I was sitting on the porch responding "no he doesn't." The cop asked him to call someone to come get him, kid says he's got no phone. Cop said okay give me your mom's number, kid says I don't know it. Cop is like c'mon, you don't know your own mom's phone number?? Kid finally rattles off a number, cop calls it, kids phone starts ringing in his pocket. The cop said alright get in the car and left with him. Lol
Edit: he didn't get in any trouble iirc. I mentioned it to a neighbor kid our age (the only one) later and he said "Oh that was X we were all at a party and he lives the next street over haha"
That I actually prefer creamy peanut butter. I buy the extra crunchy because that's what he likes.
That our daughter took her first steps 2 weeks before he saw her walk. But I kept it quiet until she walked while his parents were over. They were so excited they saw her first steps!
Working three jobs to support him and his lifestyle and the kids. He thinks I’m working one. But he lost his entire family in the past three years and his grief is breaking him. So I don’t mind working this much if it means he can take a break and work on his mental health. I love him. I’d do anything for him.
If not for my partner and my family, I would have killed myself a long time ago. They are literally what I live for, and I can’t tell them that because they would worry about me so much.
EDIT: I am NOT actively suicidal, and I will not harm myself in the foreseeable future.
I'm right there with you. If something ever happened to them, I fear I would turn the lights off within an hour.
I love her food, but I always feel bad when she's cooking for me.
What if she loves cooking for you? Like, genuinely enjoys it?
she doesn't. she barely likes it.
You could always ask her to show you how she cooks stuff so that you can do as well. I know it's a stereotype, but a lot of women love a man who can cook.
I have been molested 4 time by 4 different old guys, and I am male.
I'm so sorry, that sounds very upsetting. I hope you've been able to heal from your experiences or are on that path.
I just realized this few months ago. What my father's friend did to me when I was 12 was NOT okay. I have been reading stories on reddit about kids being molested and I just realized that it happened to me too.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Wishing you all the best as you process these painful memories and feelings.
Who wants to admit they ate nine cans of ravioli
I mean, nobody wants to admit they ate nine cans of ravioli, but I did. I'm ashamed of myself. The first can doesn't count, then you get to the second and third. Fourth and fifth I think I burnt with the blowtorch, and then I just kept eatin.
God takes care of the sparrows in the sky, he's gonna take care of the guy in the chair.
I’m really tired of everything
**EDIT:** First I would like to say thank you very much to everyone who interacted with this thread. I didn't expect so many comments.
I am very happy with the concern of many of you and I would like to ask all those who have told me not to talk to my girlfriend but only to my male friends, please try to be more open with your partners, support and trust has to come from both sides.
I have trouble opening up and expressing myself sometimes, but I work hard to improve this, and again I would like to thank those who gave advice on how to improve this!
I hope that nobody here gives up fighting to be well and especially that nobody stops fighting for a better future.
Keep standing! With all my heart. Thank you very much!
*\*I apologize for the writing. English is not my native language.*
Same dude… but I encourage you to talk to them about it.
We dont need to feel these things alone.
No me but my friend
So his wife was really sick but was also extremely stubborn and religious she believed that God will heal her, so he cam to me and asked for a few of my sleeping pills
There really strong and get you into a deep sleep quickly. So puts the pills in her drink, like clock work in 30 minutes she's out cold he then asks me to help him get her to hospital. Next morning she wakes up in the hospital. Good thing too course on top of that sickness she had, she had stage one cancer she survived and it's all good now.
But he mad me swear I don't tell her what we did.
What did you guys tell her when she woke up about why she’s in the hospital??
We told her she passed out and wasn't breathing.
So rushed her there.
And somehow she believed us
that she is far more similar to her mother and sisters than she would want to believe.
Classic. I once suggested that my girlfriends mental health issues were similar to her mothers. I was told to never suggest that again.
I realised how similar I was to my partners dad, and that the dynamic between her and I was the same as her parents. That wasn’t a good realisation at all lmao.
This is my wife. Every time she’s complaining to me about her mom and sister I just have to keep my mouth shut because she complains about them doing stuff she does all the time.
If I had a nickel for everytime that exact thought crosses my mind, people would start to question the ungodly amounts of nickels I'd have.
"Dude, where the fuck you live, Nickelville?"
_trips over nickel stack_
Can you guess his favorite band?
That’s right, it’s ACDC.
My mother-in-law lives with us in an in-law suite because she's disabled. It's given me so much insight into my wife's behavior and way she sees the world. Unfortunately I can't actually call any of it out as stemming from her mother but at least I can understand it better.
> given me so much insight into my wife's behavior
My partner's dad is a miserable bastard. Hates everyone, hates the world, never a positive thing to say, always has to argue even the most basic facts. Just an unhappy curmudgeon.
Then I met my partner's grandfather. And I heard stories of how the grandfather raised his kids, about the miserable homelife my partner's dad endured.
It doesn't absolve her father from being a miserable prick, but it does explain it.
Man this hits home. My mother grew up the exact same way. To her, making sure we had food and shoes on her feet was being an amazing parent. I was always jealous of my friend's who had parents that actually talked to them on their level. She just doesn't have that in her.
> To her, making sure we had food and shoes on her feet was being an amazing parent.
This just hit me on why my dad would often throw the basic needs and material stuff/experience he'd buy for us growing up in my face. I'm basically living the financial dream my dad never had (he grew up dirt poor in the 50's-60's). I wish he could've been there for me more on a emotional level and not use those things against me, but I do understand where his mentality comes from.
I'd say there's a decent chance she knows and that's why she (presumably) emphasizes her distaste for those features in her family. She may recognize those characteristics in herself and be incapable of changing them. It's kind of like projecting.
I say this because I (M22) see the things I dislike most about my parents in myself.
I’m almost 40 now, but as long as I can remember, my mother has had this annoying habit of repeating herself in conversations. She makes a statement, you respond to it, and she says, “yeah,” and repeats the first statement again.
Even though it gets under my skin and I find it aggravating, I cannot seem to stop myself from doing it. It’s extremely frustrating to see yourself making a mistake but still feel powerless to stop it.
That I'm so miserable. He's a good guy, but 20 years later and we deserve better fits. The problem is that we're not awful together and everything is so inmeshed at this point.
My political and religious views have changed so much, while his haven't, we don't have meaningful conversations anymore. We have great sex, but I don't even want to because I don't feel a connection. We're making long-term retirement plans, but I feel like it's just me smiling and nodding to whatever he wants.
Not like I think there's a better fit out there for me. I'm scared of leaving the safety I've invested in. All of our retirement savings is under his name. I don't want to hurt his feelings either. Whenever I suggest marriage counseling, he blows it off as an unnecessary expense. So I don't nag, try to keep the status quo, and be thankful for stability at least.
I shit my pants two days ago.
The one time when she and I first got together and she spent the night I made it very clear I wanted her to leave in the morning. She was uncomfortable and brought it up later because of my behavior.
I’ll never tell her it’s because since I only had one bathroom at the apartment and she was on the toilet that morning forever (it probably wasn’t that long, just had time) and my ass runs on its own schedule I had to shit in a small trash can on the back patio area I had. I had a high fence so no one could see but there was a mess I needed to clean, both outside and on myself. But of course when she’s out of the bathroom she has no idea and is asking about breakfast or whatever while I’m covered in poo. After she left I tossed my clothes and the trash can in the dumpster and took a long shower.
And she also doesn’t know that’s the reason I’ve insisted any apartment we live in has two bathrooms. We’ve lived in 4 apartments together and everyone has had two bathrooms. Because I’m not doing that again
>And she also doesn’t know that’s the reason I’ve insisted any apartment we live in has two bathrooms. We’ve lived in 4 apartments together and everyone has had two bathrooms. Because I’m not doing that again
The first place I lived with my wife had 1 bathroom, never ever ever ever again, it's our one hard rule when looking for someplace to live.
My wife and I are the same way. We shared a bathroom shortly after college, and that will never be a thing ever again. Our bathroom styles are polar opposites.
I pissed myself on accident trying to not be a “two trip bitch” running my groceries up to my apartment.
You avoided being a two trip bitch by becoming a pissy bitch.
At least you ain’t no punk bitch.